Read below to learn all about my tech recommendations:

The Cause of Tech Overwhelm:

Tech overwhelm is something that many of my clients struggle with before they start working with me. They’ve purchased all kinds of different tools, but they mostly choose free options.

For example, they’ll opt-in to a free email marketing program. But as their email list grows, they realize, “Wait a second, this program doesn’t do all the things I want it to do.”

They then need to add a different program, but the one they choose is more complicated. So they buy a third one that’s kind of the middle of the road. And now they’ve got three different emails in three different programs and three different tools they’re trying to learn. And that’s just emails!!

This isn’t a sustainable business practice, so I want to help.

Check-Out My Resource Page

Tech overwhelm is exactly what it sounds like: overwhelming. To make it simple for you, I’ve created a resource page that you can access here.

On this page, I walk you through each of my favorite resources!

1. Emailing

What are you currently using to get your message out to your email list? I really believe there are two good options for emailing.

When I talk to clients, they’ve tried all kinds of email services – a lot of which were originally free and then suddenly, they start getting charged because they cap out the subscriber limit for the free version. As somebody who’s been around a while, who is all about supporting bloggers and helping them grow, I highly recommend ConvertKit.

ConvertKit is what I use for my personal email list, and there are a few reasons I love it. My brilliant friend, Nathan Berry, created this tool. First, there’s a free version of the tool, which makes it risk-free and accessible to everyone. Then, if you see results and you need to scale up, you can. Nathan has grown an incredible team over at ConvertKit that has really focused on serving bloggers through simplifying his system. And that’s why I love it: because it’s really the easiest system to use. I personally believe it’s even easier to use than MailChimp. It includes tagging and all kinds of automation that have been built-in from the very beginning. I recommend it to everyone.

Now the second email program I recommend is called Kajabi. Kajabi is what I use for most of my webinars and member emails. Kajabi takes care of all your emails and more!

2. Logo Design

The second tool that I’d like to share with you is for designing your logo, header image for your Facebook page, and all your Instagram graphics!

My team swears by Canva. Canva has made it easy to use pre-designed templates and edit your own graphics. There’s no need to hire a graphic designer right off the bat. Canva’s free plan offers everything you need to get started – and I highly recommend it!

You don’t have to learn Photoshop, Illustrator, or anything fancy. You can start with Canva. They have a template library with more options than you can imagine. The site is also incredibly collaborative, so different members of your team can log-in and make edits to your graphics.

3. Calendar

The third tool I’m going to recommend is one that I use literally every day — to book my coaching calls, one-on-one appointments, and podcast interviews. It’s called Calendly.

Calendly is a calendar, a scheduling app, and a meeting app. It’s online and it integrates with Zoom.

When people hire me as a clarity coach (which you can do here!) they automatically get a link to my Calendly booking page to book a one-on-one call with me. Once they book a time, it automatically gets added to both of our calendars, and since it’s integrated with Zoom it automatically sends us both a unique Zoom meeting link, which saves us both the time it would take to go back and create a meeting through the site itself.

4. Managing your Contacts

To get a little bit more advanced, we’ve started using HubSpot for managing our contacts. Specifically, for managing contacts connected to my speaking schedule. It’s a tool that my team has been using for a while. We just started using it for Hope*Writers as well to manage our leads.

If you’re looking at building long term relationships with contacts you’ve made – you know that those relationships need to be nurtured. But how? How do you follow up with them? How do you know who you need to reach out to? How do you know if they got back to you?

You need a CRM, a Customer Relationship Management platform.

There’s a free level of HubSpot that I highly recommend. I use it for all of my speaking engagements and our enrollment specialists use it for Hope*Writers.

5. Hosting Platform

The final tool that I’d recommend is for your hosting platform. If you have a WordPress site, you need to have a host for all your files, your blog, and the different pages on your WordPress site. I cannot highly recommend SiteGround enough. We’ve been using them for years for all of our WordPress sites.

One of the things that I love about SiteGround is that their customer support is top-notch! They immediately get back to you in a live chat whenever you reach out with questions or concerns. It’s a great program, and while you do have to pay for it – it is very affordable!

They have all kinds of different levels so you can start small and grow!

A Step Further: An All-In-One Tool

Here’s a recommendation that tops them all…

All of these resources mentioned above work with or can be replaced by Kajabi. Kajabi is the number one tool I recommend.

In fact, we are currently moving my entire website onto Kajabi. It takes care of your email, landing pages, checkout pages, login, course hosting, everything that you need to do for your business when it comes to marketing and sales, communicating with your clients, your prospects, all of that can be done in Kajabi.

On Kajabi’s website, you’ll see that you can get a 14-day trial – but I have a trial offer for you that is twice as long.

You can sign up and experience Kajabi for 28-days for free when you click here.

I use this tool everyday.

Those are my favorite resources to help you start and grow your online business. If you’re currently experiencing tech overwhelm, like our friend Marie Forleo says, remember that everything is figureoutable!

If I can help you implement these tools to help you grow your impact and your income online,  just send me a message here.

Click here to listen to the full episode.

Don’t lower your price…increase your value!

In this time, it may be beneficial to increase the value of your product, rather than lowering the price! So take an honest look at the product and at your resources then ask yourself the following questions:

1. Can you add anything to the product that would make the current price irresistible to your audience?
2. Can you offer an additional coaching call?
3. Can you have a private group?
4. Can you have an extra meet-up or an extra Q&A session?
5. What can you do to increase the value instead of decreasing the price?

Let people know the value of what you’re offering and stay consistent in offering that value!

When people pay…they pay attention!

Early in my business, Michael Hyatt taught me the following: “When people pay, they pay attention.” And I’ve found it to be very true! When people invest in your products and in your services, especially when it’s a significant amount of money, they don’t cancel, they don’t quit, they don’t forget to show up to your coaching call.

Why is that? Because they’ve invested so much, it actually encourages them to bring a higher level of themselves to the table because they want to get the return on their investment.

By keeping your pricing consistent with the value, you challenge your audience to rise to the occasion. Hopefully, they’ll look at what you offer and say, “This is an essential expense that I can’t afford to cut.”

I believe in the products I offer and the value. I believe in what they bring to people’s lives, and so, because of that, I believe in the price I charge.

I have found that the higher my price, the higher the commitment of those who choose to buy!

When your clients and audience step up…you do too!

Knowing that my clients have invested at a high level has changed the way I show up in my work. I watch them buy-in, show up ready to take notes, and see the work affect their lives. They want more value out of the product because of the money they have invested. So I am pushed to bring more energy, more intuition, more fortitude, more intentionality.

And when they show up in a bigger way, guess what happens? They take it seriously. They implement and when they implement, they get results. Then the product’s value increases!

Click here to listen to the full episode.

You can learn more by checking me out on Instagram. Just follow me over there, @brianjdixon on Instagram. Send me a message and I’ll send you the link to the training. I look forward to hearing from you!

Here are 3 tips that I hope will help you in this transition!

Tip #1: Go to bed earlier and wake up earlier.

If you feel stretched too thin, if you feel like your people are all up in your business because now you have to work from home and you don’t have any T I M E for yourself, here’s where you find it.

I normally set my alarm for 4 a.m., but I’ve been setting it for 5 a.m. recently. But when my alarm went off at five, I did not want to get up – so I reset it for 5:30 a.m. However, I was wide awake at 5:12 because my body knew it was time for my Holy Hour. This hour is for my reading and journaling time before I work from home all day with the kids being around since they’re not in school.

Be selfish at 5 a.m. Wake up an hour before your people so you can have that time to yourself.  You’ve got to create that time. You don’t find the time, you make the time, and you make it in the morning.

Tip #2: Create a line of separation between work and personal life.

You need to have clear expectations for yourself and each other as you transition to working from home. There has to be some sort of designated line between when you do work, and when you are off.  Otherwise, you will be tripping over and confusing your people.

I know I run into this problem when my morning routine bleeds into work – when my laptop is out on the couch and I start to work on it in front of the kids and my wife. They start to wonder, “Is he in dad mode or is he in work mode?”

When you blur the lines, you are not serving your people well.  Instead, create a clear line of separation. Often that might look like a door that you close to your office or establishing that you will not bring your laptop into the living room or bedroom.

Whatever your line is, you need to make it clear. If your people are all together, you have to learn to communicate with them clearly so they know when you are “on the clock” or “at work” and when you are fully “at home.”

I know that this is particularly hard if you are the full-time caregiver of your kids and you’re trying to squeeze work in. That’s where you might put on a show for the kids and, while they watch, you go to another room and dedicate that full hour to work. Whatever you do, the key to it being successful is that you set clear routines and communicate them well to your people.

Otherwise, everything is blurry and everybody’s going to get frustrated because there are no clear expectations.

Tip #3: Give yourself some grace.

Especially right now, while our country faces this pandemic and we’re all adjusting to such an unprecedented time. This isn’t normal for anyone, so acknowledge that you’re new at this – we all are! The truth is, giving yourself some grace today might mean putting a movie on with your family (even if it’s a Monday night) and just relaxing a little. Maybe it means some extra gummy bears.

For example, last night I wanted the kids to start getting ready for bed at seven o’clock. But we had a movie on, so we decided to give them an extra fifteen minutes. This may seem silly, or so small, but we need to start asking “What are the small concessions I can make in order to increase the current relational currency here?”

As an Enneagram 3, a hard-driving personality, this is really hard advice for me to give and receive. But we need to slow down a little bit and be kind and gracious to those around us. We need to slow down enough to just be fully present with the people in our lives.

That might mean not getting as much work done as you thought you would so that you can be there for your people. I think in times of crisis, it’s crucial that we put people over our projects, and that we fight to remember how much people matter.

Remember to apply these three tips:

1. Go to bed earlier and wake up earlier.
2. Create a line of separation between work and personal life.
3. Give yourself grace.

Click here to listen to the full-episode.

If you want further support with how to work from home during this time, sign-up for my free “How To Work Full-Time Online From Home”webinar.

As a company, we’ve been building out a funnel map, and we actually have an opportunity for us to build the funnel for you. It’s not something that we often offer, but in an effort to help you get your business off the ground, we want to help give you the opportunity to work with us to build this whole process for you. Learn more here.

Phase 1-Nurture your visitors:

Before you can ever make a sale, you have to start thinking about your visitors. Who are the people that you want to help? What are they searching for? Who are they already following? How can I get in front of them to invite them to come check out my stuff? You can do that through the content you develop. You can do this through social media. You can do it through advertising, but whatever you do, think about your people. Start with your people. Who are the people you want to help and what is it you have for them that will attract them to come check you out?

Phase 2-Move a visitor to a subscriber:

The next step is moving a visitor to a subscriber. This is where a lead magnet comes in. A lead magnet is what you’re offering the visitor for free in exchange for their contact information. For example, in hope*writers we have a summit where we have a lot of different teachers. You then get access to all the videos from the summits for free in exchange for contact information when you subscribe. And then as we release the videos, we send an email that offers the subscriber an option to become a customer. And in the same way with my company, I have a free live training on Monday nights. Every Monday night at eight o’clock Eastern, I go live and I teach the three secrets of how to start and grow your online business. To access the live webinar, you enter your first name, your email, and sometimes even your phone number which then makes you a subscriber.

A lead magnet attracts potential customers to subsribe and learn more about you. It also gives them an easy “win” to peak their interest to become a subscriber.

Phase 3-Turn a subscriber into a customer:

To turn a subscriber into a customer, you have to help your subscribers address and overcome their limiting beliefs and move forward towards a new opportunity. Your products are new opportunities for them to reach the goal for them to say goodbye to the pain and say hello to their purpose.

Who is it they want to be? What do they want to be true in their life? What problem are they trying to overcome? Your product helps them live out their purpose.

Remember, the three big phases for your business funnel is visitors, subscribers, and customers. Start at the beginning and work your way through instead of only thinking about the customer.

Click here to listen to the full episode.

To help you, we wanted to give you a free funnel builder map to download here. This map will show you the 15 key emails to send and the 15 key pages you need for your sales funnel! Message me on Instagram at @brianjdixon and tell me where you are stuck right now in the funnel. I am here to help you grow your impact and your income online and would love to help you get unstuck.

Go where your audience is so you can reach them.

The concept is to go where the people are if you want to serve and share a message that matters so you can make an impact on people’s lives.

You need to find where they are hanging out and introduce yourself there. So as an example, if your ideal clients hang out at church, then go to church, build relationships, and talk to people. When you do that, you’re not going to walk in and say, “Hey! It’s me and I’m here.” No, you’re going to begin building relationships. And then, over time, people do business with people who they know, like, and trust.

The same is true of the social media platform called Tik Tok. You need to learn the platform and then engage in the platform. And I have to tell you, this was the biggest challenge for me as a 41-year-old guy looking at this new platform and saying, “I don’t think this is for me.” But then realizing that my ideal coaching clients, a 35-year-old mom who wants to write a book, wants to grow her online following, wants to make an income to make an impact, she hangs out on Tik Tok quite a bit. So it would be dumb for me not to be where she is.

Program Tik Tok to learn your preferences.

I need to go to where the party is, but I need to kind of learn the rules of the party. So that was my biggest challenge when it came to Tik Tok. I’ve recently compared this platform to logging into somebody else’s Netflix account a few weeks ago. My kids, my wife, and I were traveling, and we stayed in an Airbnb. And after the kids were in bed, I turned the TV on, and I saw the previous guest was logged into their Netflix account. It was very weird to log into Netflix and not see my most recently watched shows or recommendations.

When I log into my Netflix account, it looks like me. It has a certain number of documentaries. It has old episodes of The Office and Parks and Rec. It has maybe a movie or two that I might be interested in. When I see that first home screen when I log into Netflix, it fits like a glove. The reason for it is because, over the last several years, Netflix has learned my preferences. They’ve used something called an algorithm, machine learning. They’ve learned my preferences — what I like and don’t like. And they figured out a way to recommend what I should watch next. But when you log into somebody else’s Netflix account, it can feel like whiplash.

First of all, this Netflix account was in Spanish, so I didn’t understand anything I was seeing on the screen. Second of all, it was all horror shows and a couple of cartoons, so it was very confusing. I’m not a horror film person. Scary movies are not for me. I was unfamiliar with all these movies recommended I’d never seen before.

That’s what Tik Tok felt like the first time I logged in. I felt like I was wearing somebody else’s shoes, I was driving somebody else’s car, or I was logging into somebody else’s Netflix account. And then what happens is just like at this Airbnb, I logged out and I logged back in as myself, and it just took a few minutes to feel like home.

And that’s what Tik Tok is like when you first log in. It’s going to show you a bunch of different things like pranks, fails, teachers dancing, parents giving weird, sarcastic advice, motivational clips, sad clips and more! And as you log in, it autoplays the first video, which you may not like. So you’ll scroll up a few videos until you find one that you think is actually funny. If you like it, you may hit the heart button or leave an encouraging comment.

Understand the Tik Tok algorithm.

By doing that interaction, you start to show Tik Tok what content you like. And based on hashtags and other user’s behavior, it now changes the next video you’re going to see. As you swipe up, you will likely see something similar to what you liked or commented on before. Then you start to look forward to what the algorithm finds for you!

Here’s a confession. I used to look forward to the news bloopers. There’s a YouTube channel called News Be Funny, and they release these blooper videos from local news. So like the morning news where they start laughing when they say somebody’s name in a funny way or the animal bites the guy in the ear or whatever. It’s all live, local news. And I loved watching that every month. Now I find Tik Tok even funnier than the local news bloopers. Tik Tok is a place where it’s mostly entertainment, a little bit of inspiration, and a little bit of education.

Now you might be wondering, “Brian, how does that have anything to do with my business? What’s the point?” Well I’ve gotten to learn Tik Tok as a creator, and I know many of you are creators.

Believe that your audience is on Tik Tok.

You look at this tool and you think, “Is my audience on Tik Tok?” Well, first of all, the answer is yes. 100% yes! Everybody’s on Tik Tok! And if they’re not right now, then they will be in six months from now. So now it’s time to figure out how to use it for business. The answer is it’s top of funnel. Tik Tok is the introduction before walking into the party. It’s not the deep conversation. It’s not your email list. It’s not buying your course now, but it’s building brand awareness. It’s building up a relationship with a brand new prospect.

So I’ve been posting on Tik Tok three times a day as much as possible, because that’s what is recommended. I’ve seen that’s what’s working. The more frequently you post, the more Tik Tok says, “Oh, this person is going to stick around. And so I’m going to start recommending this person to more people.” Focus on your person and create content that they love and will want to see more.

I want to help moms make money online. That’s all I do. If you’re a mom listening right now and you want to make money online, I can help. That’s what clarity sessions is really all about. I want to help moms make money online. So all of my Tik Tok posts need to go through the filter of, “Is Brian the guy to help me as a mom make money online?”

Questions to ask before interacting with your audience on Tik Tok.

I think through questions like:

• What are the limiting beliefs that a mom has to make money online?
• Where is she getting stuck?
• What are the technological hurdles?
• What are the mindset gaps?
• Where is she overwhelmed?
• Where is she discouraged?
• What does she need to hear?

Approach Tik Tok in this same way. What questions does your ideal client have and how can you help him/her?

My ideal client is Cheryl. She is 35-years-old. Her little niece is on Tik Tok and they did a video together at Easter. So she downloaded it on her phone and she’s a little bored. She’s waiting for the kids in the carpool line, and she opens up Tik Tok. She’s like, “I wonder what’s on here today?” So she logs in, scrolls through, and she sees one of my posts.

She goes, “Oh, I think I recognize that guy!” And the video is something encouraging, something inspiring, something motivational to help her grow her impact and income online. Maybe she follows me or leaves a comment or she could click on a direct link I have in my bio and head to my website. So you seee, Tik Tok can be top of the funnel that begins conversations where we build up familiarity.

Now it’s your turn to serve YOUR Cheryl. Tik Tok is a place for you as a business owner to build your know, like, and trust.

Is TikTok right for you? TikTok is the fastest growing social media platform around today. But the truth is, most brands and influencers are still learning about this opportunity. Want to learn more? I want to invite you to a free training to learn more about Tik Tok here. 

Listen to full episode here.

I want to share with you three ways to overcome your limiting beliefs to help you move forward in your life. See, I believe that each one of us has at least one gap in our life from the five key areas: faith, friendships, finance, fitness and family. In each area there is a difference between who you want to be and who you are right now. So what do we do to become the person we want to be?

On our way to bridging this gap, we’ll notice beliefs we are holding onto that we’ve embraced but are preventing us from becoming the best version of ourselves. They are beliefs that we’ve decided are true. A limiting belief is something that we believe that limits us from becoming who we want to be.

So how do we overcome these limiting beliefs? Here are three ways:

1. Begin with the end in mind.

Being clear about your vision of a preferred future is so important to overcoming limitations. Who is it you want to be in the future? What do you want your life to look like one year from now?

For me, I’m 41 years old, and I found that one year is just long enough to believe that it’s possible. There’s so much that you can accomplish in 12 months, and you can say: “In one year from now, I’m going to be different. One year from now that ‘thing’ about me is not going to be true anymore. I’m going to overcome it.”

We’re not going to talk about the “how” yet. We’re just talking about the “what.” That’s the vision and that’s step one of overcoming the limiting beliefs.

2. Use a morning affirmation.

When you have a morning affirmation, you remind yourself every single day of that vision of a preferred future and you write it in the present tense. So for example, you know in one year from now “x,y, z” will be true about yourself. Then you flip it around and you imagine the affirmation as if it were a letter from you in the future that you read every single day.

As you read your affirmation of the future version of yourself, the first day your brain, body, and emotions are going to say, “Wait a second. None of this is true.” Your logic is going to say this is not true, but then you can take it one step further and ask yourself, “What can I do today to make these statements truer than they are currently?” You have that cognitive dissonance, the difference between who you want to be and who you are right now. So you read every affirmation and you say, “I can’t change all that right now, but the one thing I CAN do is X.”

For example, you may not be able to get your body completely healthy in a 24-hour period, but you can take the first step and not drink soda or alcohol for a day. You may not be able to completely heal a relationship, but you can decide to send an email to reach out to somebody.

What’s one thing that you can do to get you closer to your preferred future?

3. Establish regular habits and routines to live out your vision.

The way that I like to think about that is, if I had a time machine to meet my future self with those goals, what are the routines that he has? When does he wake up in the morning? When does he go to bed? How much water does he drink a day? How many emails does he send a day?

What’s his face look like? Is he smiling? Is he sad? Tell yourself about your future life. And then decide to become that person.

And the way that I do that is through these habits and routines. I know that might sound a little ethereal, but it’s really practical. Here is an example. My future-self wrote a best selling book. So I’ve written a best-selling book. I’m living as a best-selling author. How would a bestselling author go to the grocery store? Well, the bestselling author who’s been featured on Good Morning America, who has a million-person strong email list, and a 10-million plus dollar business is pretty well known and probably recognized. So I go to the grocery store as if I’ll be recognized. So when I head to the grocery store, I’ve decided that I’m going to live into becoming that person.

If I’m going to be recognized in the grocery store, how do I want to show up in the grocery store when I’m talking to the person who’s helping me check-out? What if this person read my book? How would my demeanor change? I want my demeanor not to change at all. I want to show up as if that person’s read my book. “Hi, how are you? It’s good to see you. What’s going on in your life? What are you working through?”

The more that I show up as my future self, the more people recognize that reality.

Those are three ways to overcome your limiting beliefs. Your old limiting belief is who you used to be, but that person is dead. That person is no longer with you and it’s time to move forward. It’s time to live into the reality of who you want to be and it’s a decision you make in a second. You say, “That’s who I’m going to be. That’s who I am, and now how does that person live?” That person has a vision of a preferred future and shows up TODAY to make that future a reality.

Click here to listen to the full episode.

If you feel stuck in this process, don’t hesitate to reach out! I offer clarity coaching services where we can walk through this process together so you can have a clear vision, goals, and action steps to build, launch, and grow your business.

I wasn’t aware of the impact of limiting beliefs until just a few years ago, but it’s completely changed the way I view success and think about big goals.

What is a limiting belief?

A limiting belief is something that we think is true that we’re only holding onto as true because we believe it. We have adopted it and embraced it as part of our value system. But what that belief is doing is it’s preventing us from reaching the next level. It’s keeping us from getting out of our comfort zones and propelling our business forward to increase our impact and our income.

And if you think about it this way, a limiting belief is something that we might not even really have investigated. It’s just something that we adopted along the way. Maybe it’s something from childhood that we heard a teacher say once, something that maybe we’ve heard at church or from an organization and we’ve just assumed is true. What happens is you hit a point in your life where you’re confronted with this belief and you realize it’s limiting you. When you realize it’s a limiting belief, it’s time to take a look at it. It’s time to pick it up and go, “Wait a second. Is that really something I believe? Or is that just something I adopted because somebody else believed it?” So I think it’s very important for you to clarify your values, for you to know what you believe and why you believe it so you can investigate your limiting beliefs against your values.

As you create and launch your products and programs and clarify your audience, your message and your products, what often happens is these beliefs hit you out of nowhere and stop you in your tracks.

What are the limiting beliefs in your life?

I want to share a question with you today that is going to help you clarify and identify what are some of the limiting beliefs in your life. Then I’ll share how to overcome that limiting belief.

A little exercise I like to do is to consider your “I could never” statements: “I could never x,y,z.”

Take out a piece of paper. Write “I could never…” and then a blank. Put on your favorite song and start writing everything you believe you could never do underneath that statement.

I could never own a 7 million-dollar home.

I could never have 10 horses.

I could never drive a Lamborghini.

I could never run for elected office.

I could never live in another state.

I could never start my business.

I could never make six figures from my business.

I could never talk to my wife or my husband about that issue.

Do you see how it starts to flow? And I’m not even going into specifics. I’m just leaving it pretty vague. This is exposing your limiting beliefs. This is what you believe, but here’s where the limit is. Why is there a limit there? What is it that makes you believe you could never do blank?

What could your life look like without the limiting belief?

Next time you are putting together a video series or writing an email campaign for your business, and then all of a sudden you’re faced with a limiting belief, I challenge you to investigate it. Where is it coming from, and is it true? Do you want to live that way? It can sometimes sound a little harsh, but how long do you wanna live that way? How long do you want to keep that limiting belief? Do you want to live that way your whole life? Do you want to believe in your life that it’s true? What would your life look like without that belief? What would your life look like if you could just let go of those chains — if you could unhinge yourself from that belief and accept yourself?

I could never afford that car.

I could never get back in shape.

Really? Never? Because people do it every day.

I could never tell my wife about that.

I could never start my business.

My challenge to you is to recognize your limiting beliefs, and then write them all out. Investigate the belief and uncover the truth. Because I believe that your success is going to come from stepping outside of your comfort zone. Remind yourself that you are capable and your limiting beliefs are holding you inside of a place you no longer belong.

Where is your limiting belief? Are you ready to tackle it head-on so that you can move past it and move your business forward? Send me a message on Instagram @brianjdixon and tell me about your limiting beliefs, and I’ll give you some tips on how to move forward.

Click here to listen to the full episode.

And I know that I am not alone. 64% of Christian men look at pornography at least once a month. This is a problem because we are called to live a life of purity. Jesus said in Matthew 5:28, “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

So what are we to do?

For men who want to live a life of purity, loving his wife and leading his family well, AND for the incredible woman in his life who wants to stand with him to counter-attack this continuous onslaught, here is some encouragement:

There is a secret that actually works to living a porn-free life.

The truth is, I’ve tried it all. For over 20-years, I’ve been in some sort of porn-free accountability group. I’ve read books, attended men’s retreats, and listened to encouraging sermons. But nothing seemed to work long-term.

Of course, you need to surrender your heart to the saving power of Jesus Christ, read the Bible, and know who you are and how you were made. But beyond prayer, accountability, and Bible reading, there is one secret that has worked for living a porn-free life.

Here it is: REGULARLY BE HONEST WITH YOUR WIFE

Yes, I know, this can be the scariest action of all, but that’s exactly why it works. The fear of failure can be a powerful motivator. I believe that you can live porn-free for the rest of your life. I know that this hidden issue can be exposed for the lie that it is, and God (as He so often does) can redeem this secret shame and transform it into a healing grace. By talking openly about your battle with pornography, your marriage can be stronger than ever.

Here are three questions to discuss on a regular basis to help you move forward in freedom.

1. What do we, as a couple, believe about pornography?

If you are not on the same page with your beliefs, then you will not be unified and consistent in your actions. So here is my personal conviction: pornography is a trap Satan uses to destroy intimacy in our marriage. It’s a false idol and is not to be taken lightly. We shouldn’t give it power either through shame or indulgence. Instead, we need to see it for what it is, a tragedy and a lie that together we reject as a united couple. It’s not a battle for the guy to face alone. Instead, by openly discussing this important issue with a willing heart and an open Bible, I believe you can be unified with your spouse.

2. What can I do to support you to help you avoid this dangerous trap?

For the ladies reading, if your husband is honest with you, his struggle with porn can be pretty gut-wrenching. It can feel like a rejection of your very identity and an assault on your marital unity. But hear me out, porn is about power. Many men I’ve worked with over the years have admitted that porn goes deeper than beauty and lust. It is about feelings of acceptance and rejection. The man who feels powerless at work and embarrassed by his struggles can spiral into a cycle of shame which leads him back to the vomit of pornography. A strong wife standing with him against porn’s secret and insidious attack may be just what can finally end this tragic cycle in his life, though this is hard to do.

3. When was the last time you looked at pornography?

I know. This question is the hardest of all. Asked in a spirit of prayer, humility, and transparency, it will lead to an amazing opportunity for connection and growth. If he’s being honest, his answer may likely shock you. He may say, “Last month on that business trip,” or “Last Thursday night when you went to bed early,” or simply, “Yesterday.” I know, the truth can sting. But if you don’t know where he is, how can you help him move forward? Once he tells you the truth, pray together for God’s strength to stand together. And then ask the same question next week. And then the week after. And so on.

There is hope after porn, and there can be a deep relationship connection even in the middle of the struggle if you are willing to stand together. Ladies, lean into your man and men, be open with your wives. I challenge you to live a life connected and committed to each other.

I get it. This is a sensitive topic. And maybe it is just easier to avoid it altogether.

But imagine with me what your marriage could be like if you were to regularly ask and answer these questions! Imagine the impact your marriage could have on other couples all around you. Imagine the freedom! Be willing to endure this temporary pain for the longterm joy of a united marriage. Put porn in its place. Stand together to fight this marriage destroyer. Together, with God’s wisdom and guidance, let’s confront the lie once and for all.

If this post resonated with you, would you do me a favor and share it on Facebook? This important message is not easy, but it just might change someone’s life.

For more marriage tips, check out my new video series here. 

So I think I figured something out recently. To move forward, sometimes you have to start by looking back. And for many guys, including me, it means saying “I’m sorry.”

Guys, it’s time to start apologizing.

It’s time to apologize to the women in our lives. To fellow sisters, to our wives, and to our daughters. “I’m sorry for being THAT guy.”

I’m sorry for cutting you off before listening to everything you wanted to tell me.
I’m sorry for making that face when you were just trying to be honest and helpful.
I’m sorry for demanding my way instead of working on a solution together.
I am sorry.

Guys, it’s time to ask for her forgiveness. It’s time for us to go second and to tell the woman in your life that she is not less than you. She is strong, brave, beautiful, and worthy. And she needs to hear you say, “I am for you! I am cheering you on. Your strength does not make me weak. Your empowerment does not disempower me. Your voice is welcome and must be heard.”

It’s no accident that the most important message of all time was entrusted to two women. And it’s no surprise that the guys in their lives did not believe them. When the tomb was discovered empty, it was the women who understood the gravity of what they discovered. The guys were the ones who were slow on the uptake. From the road to Emmaus to Thomas’ doubts, sometimes guys get it wrong. I know I get it wrong all of the time. And for that I am sorry.

Sister, you matter.
Your voice counts.
Your intuition is insightful.
Your wisdom is welcome.
Your presence is powerful.
I need you in my life to be a better man, but even more,
I need you in my life to help me see what I don’t.
Sister, sit with me.
Tell me what you see.
Forgive my blindness.
I want to become the kind of man who treats you with the dignity you deserve.

And for the times I haven’t, I’m sorry.

Check out this video series I created just for men here.

The challenge is…how do you reach your goals when you can hardly manage all that’s on your plate? How do you focus on achieving your goals when you have so many people you need to oversee? That is one of the biggest challenges to being a productive leader. It’s hard to stay focused on being productive while I want to keep other people in the loop, move things forward, but also still be in relationship and not feel like I’m constantly letting everybody down.

In this article, I’m going to give you three tips for becoming a productive leader.

1. Have a mission to pursue.

The first step to becoming productive leaders is having a clear mission to pursue. What I mean by a mission to pursue is to have a clear vision and a clear goal. Because the reality is, as a leader, you are going to disappoint people.

One of the first principals who I reported to when I was a teacher said, “If I haven’t disappointed at least one person today, I know that I wasn’t pushing hard enough.” And I love that idea. We’re going to let people down because we’ve got a lot on our plate, but in order to accomplish the important, it means we’re going to have to let go of the unimportant. And the first step in doing that is to determine: “What is the mission to pursue? What is the vision of a preferred future look like?” My friend Cameron Harold calls this a vivid vision: “Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be?” And that’s the first step to becoming a productive leader — having a clear mission.

The way I do this for my own life is the use of a daily affirmation. (Click here to learn more about my daily affirmation process.) The statement includes who I want to be and what I want to be true in my life six months from now. I listen to a recorded affirmation every single day. As I listen to it and see the six-month gap, my brain finds a way to close that gap a little bit more each day. My brain says, “Oh yeah, those are my most important goals to focus on. What can I do to close that gap and make that affirmation my reality? What can I do today to get closer to accomplishing that mission?” Once I reach those goals and hit the six-months, I’ll write and rerecord another mission to pursue.

Do you have your vision for the future written down somewhere? Have someone record it so that you can listen to your mission during the days you are struggling or feel off track. It’s during those hard times, you need to refocus on your mission and the most important things. When you know your mission, it’s easier to move forward with confidence.

2. Have a mentor to guide you.

A mentor is also an important part to become a productive leader. You need a mentor who can help you when you’re feeling stuck, when you’re discouraged, and when you just don’t feel like you’re really delivering at the highest level. Do you have someone who notices when you’re not on your A-game who can come alongside you and say, “It’s going to be okay. I faced this too. I know what it’s like.” A mentor is also there to celebrate your accomplishments and wins! Because I don’t know if you’re like me, but I can be really hard on myself. I finish a project, I get it off the ground, we sell a bunch of copies or memberships, and then my next thought is…“What’s next?” 

I don’t even take the time to celebrate and say, “Wow, that was a big deal.” And I’ve actually brought in somebody who I consider a mentor of mine to meet with me weekly and say, “Brian, this is what you’ve accomplished this week. Congratulations.”

Do you have a mentor to guide you? Somebody who can tell you you’re not crazy when you’re feeling overwhelmed and also to help you slow down and appreciate how far you’ve come. Take that step and find someone if this is a gap in your life.

3. Have the right mindset.

The right mindset is one that will push you through the hard times and to help you get back up when you make a mistake.  I have made so many mistakes in my career, but it’s my mindset that’s helped me move forward when I wanted to give up.  What about your mindset do you need to shift to help you continue moving forward in your business?

Those are the three steps of becoming a productive leader, have a mission to pursue, a mentor to guide you, and the right mindset to see you through.

Comment here to tell me which of the three you are going to implement to become a more productive leader.

Click here to listen to full podcast episode.