Someone emailed me the other day about a project we are collaborating on and in her note she said, “Thank you for being so fabulous.” I kind of sheepishly blushed to myself for half a second, and then moved right on to my next task.

A little while later, my mind occupied with some heady thought or other, I felt a tiny little shift in my gut… a teeny, little smidge of awareness seeping into my heart. A sleepy but unstoppable awakening. And then: THUNK. It landed.

Thank you for being so fabulous.

It landed, deep within me. My colleague had meant it. And my inner wise self had to do some work to ring my bell about it. My wise self was not about to watch me further delay the life-giving, soul-connecting act of letting the acknowledgement in. Into my heart, into my mind, into my spirit.

We can so easily go on autopilot and mechanically deflect compliments. Even if we say a polite “Thank you,” sometimes our ego usurps the moment with a poke at us about how unworthy we are of the compliment. Thank you, we say, while thinking, “If they only knew how incompetent I really am…”

So, let’s make a pact: Let’s Stop It!

We have a responsibility to hear another’s gift to us and then to let it in.

Yes – it’s your responsibility. When someone believes in you and expresses their faith in you, they are seeing the real you and they vulnerably put that expression out there. They toss it to you and your job is to catch it. To hold it. To let it in. And to let it live within you.

It’s more than a “thank you” that you owe them. Your job is to fully, 100%, all-the-way receive what they have given to you. And that means feeling the impact and shooing away the critical voice.

It’s your job. Are you up to it? Because you, too, are fabulous. And we all need you to let that in. Because, guess what? When you do, you expand your fabulousness, which is your gift to the world.

Are you with me?

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”  ~Thomas A. Edison

I know you’ve heard this many times, but it bears repeating: Failure = Opportunity to Learn.

A device I use to remember this comes from a story I heard many years ago during a coach training class. We had just been taught a new skill and were about to practice with a classmate, which can be quite a nerve-wracking experience. The instructor told us a story from a training she had previously attended. The story has been so powerful and useful for me, I’m passing it along to you:

She was in a class, learning a new skill. And her instructor asked the students to do the following: Whenever anyone made an error or failed in applying the new skill, they were to leap enthusiastically up out of their chair, throw both arms up in the air and yell with gleeful gusto, “FANTASTIC!”  This was an all-day course, with lots of skill practice going on – so each student got many opportunities to yell, “FANTASTIC!”

The effects of this crazy learning technique are profound:

• The silliness and exuberance that rippled around the classroom lightened the mood and calmed the nerves that often come with clumsy first attempts at practicing any new skill (especially in front of others!).
• Hearing cries of,  “FANTASTIC!” percolate through the course all day long was a reassuring and community-building reminder that everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect.
• Leaping up to yell, “FANTASTIC!” shifted the energy so radically from guarded hesitation to uninhibited, freewheeling experimentation – the students learned a great deal more because the atmosphere actually made it fun and acceptable to fail!

Naturally, I’d love to see you try this technique to help you convert your own failures into learning.

But the bigger question I’m asking you as a leader is: How can you infuse this mindset of “FANTASTIC!” into your leadership style? How can you create an atmosphere among your team that mistakes and failure are not reasons to lambast, but opportunities to invite creative new solutions? If your people are afraid to fail for fear that they will get “marked down” in some way, they will instinctively tighten up and back away from the experimentation that leads to innovation.

You might find ways to repeat this “FANTASTIC!” exercise with your team. But even without this specific activity, you would serve yourself and your team well by stepping back to reflect on how your personal style either invites or stifles the creativity that is often born of failure.

What if Thomas Edison were on your team? Would the atmosphere you’ve created invite him to continue trying to invent the light bulb, one failure at a time? Or would you just be in the dark?

Crowded and cramped.

Awkward moment, attempting to close my ears to the crescendo of conversation between a man and a woman sitting inches from where I stood waiting for my Chai Tea Latte.

I would like to have poked my fingers in my ears and sang, “la-la-la-la-la-la,” to drown out their argument. But maybe that would be even more rude than eavesdropping.

So I heard it. All of it. It was clear their disagreement was work related; they did not give off the vibe of romance. (For some reason, this eases my guilt about overhearing.) They were heatedly trading jabs about the definition of being “50% involved in the business.” She defended herself. He looked defeated and befuddled.

Without transcribing all the dialogue (what’s worse – spying on someone or repeating what you heard?!), the gist of it is that they are business partners with a 50-50 agreement. I’m sure that means they each put equal amounts of money into the business. But their impasse was not about something as easy as money. It was about how to measure one’s investment of energy, intelligence, and caring.

It’s a good point. If you and I go in together, halfsies, on a business, how do we know that our commitment to and regard for the business is perceived equally by one another? You could spend 12 hours a day working on “our” business, and I could spend 6. Does this mean I love it less? Maybe, maybe not. I could be the steadfast first responder to our customers, while you faithfully manage the administrative underpinnings such as invoicing, financial management and efficient operations… who’s to say which one of us is “more” involved?

Well, I picked up my Chai and fantasized about inviting these stressed partners into a coaching session. And here is THE number one key to strong partnerships that I would want to help my new coffee shop clients discover:

Work on the relationship more than you work on the business.

I know. You and your partner got together to create a successful business, and that requires you to tend to your products, services, clients, finances, staffing and everything else that goes into running a flourishing business.

Perhaps you have assumed that the business is the primary focus and the relationship will take care of itself. Wrong.

I have seen very well-thought-out business ventures unravel simply because the partners could not work well together. It’s fine to disagree – but how do you regard each other while disagreeing? It’s fine to get mad – but how do you hold a direct conversation with your partner without creating a mess? It’s fine to develop new personal goals – but how do you go about pursuing your own dreams without stepping on your partner’s toes and wrecking the existing business?

Sticky situations like these can absolutely be processed in a healthy and productive way. But only if the foundation of your relationship is so solid, nothing can rock it. And that demands working on the relationship first, the business second.

Skills you must develop as a business partner:

• Agreeing on how you will deal with disagreements – before you have one.
• Understanding that when the relationship is fed… it will, in turn, feed your business.
• Being brutally direct in communications, no hidden agendas – in a style that fuels the conversation, rather than shuts it down.
• Honoring your partner’s participation in the business – fully knowing what is at stake for them personally if the business succeeds or fails.
• Willingness to take the time needed to nurture the relationship – without resentment.

In some ways, business partnerships are actually more work than going it alone. But the rewards are immeasurable. With a partner at your side, you will raise the bar and play a much bigger game. You’ll get more done because you’ve got accountability and someone who can do the things you are not so good at. You are constantly stretched into fresh ways of looking at things – this can feel annoying at times, but mostly, you will grow as a human being and as a business owner.

So, take your business partner out for a cup of tea. Hire me to coach your partnership. Work on your relationship – it is a sacred trust that requires tending. I can’t wait to overhear your healthy, productive conversation.

Let’s start with dog competitions. I swear, I cry at dog shows and agility trials. There is something about seeing the natural instincts of a particular breed come to life that makes me weep.

I once watched a television show where puppies were exposed to the circumstances that would invoke their breed’s natural skills. A young Border Collie pup was introduced for the first time to  sheep. At first, the pup was very nervous, looking back to its human for help. But she was also very interested in the sheep – hesitatingly curious, I’d say. And quite suddenly, like a switch that had been flipped, that little puppy’s herding instinct kicked in. With no training whatsoever, she knew to crouch and dart around trying to herd the sheep. Even the sheep were impressed.

That dog’s energy was palpable through the tv screen – she had discovered her natural talent and was truly elated to be expressing it! And I (remember, I’m a mush ball) was moved to tears.

So (and I’m sure you know where this is heading) what are your natural talents? What are those special skills and unique qualities that are instinctive to you? Those talents you might be taking for granted, perhaps. Some possibilities…

You are genuinely funny

You have a wonderful singing voice

You put people at ease

You can fix things around the house

You are an amazing gardener

You read fast

You remember people’s birthdays

You are a savvy stock market investor

You write beautiful poetry

You can juggle

You have a way with animals

You can make perfect roses out of icing

You make people feel important

You can identify birds by their song

You can persuade anyone to do anything

You make the best fig preserves in town

You can parallel park in even the tightest of spaces

You have super neat handwriting

You can rewire a lamp

You know what I mean – these are talents and skills that you don’t even bat an eye over.  One of my amazing talents is parallel parking. I don’t know why, but it’s something I’ve always been able to do well. I will challenge anyone in a park-off!

Speaking of dogs, my Goddaughter, who is 14, was able to identify most dog breeds soon after learning to talk! She has a special talent with dogs – we call her the mini dog whisperer.

So what do dogs, you and I, and my young niece have in common regarding our special talents? A few things:

• It’s something we have a keen, natural interest in. It gives us an emotional charge that feels great!
• When we are using our particular talent, we feel more alive, more energized and more fulfilled than we usually do.
• Because our special talent is natural and easy for us, we get compliments and accolades from others – which encourages us to further sharpen our talent.

One thing I often notice with my coaching clients – especially with entrepreneurs who are trying to create their branded business message – is that people dismiss their natural talents. They say, “Oh, I don’t really have any special skills or unique gifts.” (Dogs don’t seem to do this!)

If you are going to grow a business, you’ve got to peel away that layer of false modesty. You’ve got to just step out and proclaim your talents! We – the world – need your gifts and talents. Acknowledging your gifts is healthy and gives permission to the rest of us to declare ours.  If you’re saying, “I don’t want to be arrogant,” you need to look the word up in a dictionary, because you have mis-defined it. Arrogance is “unwarranted importance; overbearing pride,” which is all about thinking you are better than everyone else because of your talents.

None of us has greater human value because of our talents. But when you hide your gifts because you are afraid of “looking immodest,” you are only serving the darkness. I urge you to serve the light – come out and share your gifts with the rest of us!

So, right this minute, take a moment to write your list of special talents and skills. Make it a long, juicy list. And boldly share it with us. Please.

There is actually a cure for this misery!

And you don’t even have to quit your job to experience this cure. Certainly, that is one option, but unless you take a spoonful of the cure I’m about to offer, you are likely to transfer your “trapped woe” right over to the next job. So, whether you stay or go, I highly recommend this amazing cure.

Here it is… are you ready? The cure is… adopt the mindset of someone who is self employed.

Now, I can already hear your protests: “But I’m not self-employed, I work for the man!” Or, “I have no idea how to just up and change my mindset.”

I’m not saying it’s easy-peasy, but it is absolutely possible. I did this back when I worked in the corporate world, before I became literally self-employed. The circumstances of my job did not change, but my reaction to it and my enjoyment of work and life shifted monumentally. Once I freed myself – mentally – from what had previously felt like a trapped situation, voila, I was no longer trapped!

A client made this shift about a year ago. He was unhappy at work, but the logistics kept him from quitting outright. He took a stab at viewing his job differently. And it worked. He began viewing this job as a stepping stone to the next job. From this new mental perspective, he wasn’t trapped in this job, he was just on a bridge to the next career move (still undefined). He essentially relaxed his grip on the job, held it a little more loosely. The cool part was that over time, his new mindset resulted in less stress and a more positive attitude toward his company, colleagues and the work itself. And guess what? That new attitude showed up in his demeanor, ability to work with his team, and even his creativity. He is still working there today, is well respected and even escaped two rounds of layoffs. He is still keeping his eye out for the next move – but in the meantime, he is enjoying his work (which spills into other areas of his life) and the company is getting a better worker with the deal. What’s not to like?

Try it right now – try on the idea that you are self-employed and your big client happens to be the company you now work for. As a “free agent,” you are choosing to continue working with this particular client (your company), you are not dependent on them – rather, you are agreeing to a collaborative relationship with them: You provide an agreed-upon level of skill, productivity and creative energy in exchange for your “consulting” fee (a.k.a. your salary). You want to preserve your good reputation in the marketplace, so you do your best possible job and provide great customer service.

Remember, you do this silently, within your own mind – don’t go telling your boss what you are up to! But if you can make this mindset shift, and really be consistent with it, your working experience will improve. (Note: If you work in a truly abusive situation, that is another story.)

Here are some differences in the employee vs. the self-employed mindsets:

“I’m an employee of this company.”

• I’m loyal to the company and expect the company to be loyal to me – we are like family.
• My fate is in the hands of my company’s management. Closed door meetings scare me!
• I’ve earned a certain amount of seniority, so I am more secure here. Or, the opposite: because I am a senior staff member, paid a higher salary than others, I’m at risk for being laid off.
• I’m a dedicated “company man/woman,” my self-identity is linked to this company.
• I used to share my good ideas, but I grew tired of getting shot down. Creativity means more work, dealing with politics and bureaucracy.
• I am financially dependent on this job. If I lose it, I’m sunk.

“I am self-employed and have one big client (the current employer).”

• I care about and am very committed to my client – the company, the people, the mission. But I am not attached.
• I do great work and serve this client at my highest level of ability, until I move onto the next gig.
• My own professional and personal reputation is my most important asset. I do everything I can to preserve my good standing – including working well with my team, communicating clearly and directly, treating my client (company) with great respect, even if I don’t agree with the way they handle things.
• I’m always looking out for the next client (new job), and may even have a side gig (for example, a hobby you convert into revenue activity)
• My marketing materials (resumé, LinkedIn profile, etc.) are strong and I keep a close eye on the marketplace (job market), following hot prospects and keeping my options open for a potential new client (new job).
• I take creative risks because I am more passionate about my work than I am about the company.
  Even if I disagree with management’s approach, I feel proud of my accomplishments and know that I’m truly doing my best work.
• I eagerly seek out any training or coaching that will help me, as an individual, improve. I don’t expect my client (company) to pay for this, but if they do, I appreciate the gift.
• I expect the client (company) to uphold their end of the contract we have – to provide me an agreed-upon salary and benefits in exchange for the agreed-upon amount of labor. I do not expect more than that, but am appreciative of extras.

Trying on a new perspective is like inserting a new lens in your glasses – you are looking at the same images, but they appear slightly different through different filters. Give it a try and let me know how it goes!

I’ve just never had much success with making resolutions — typically they felt like an external goal I was trying to reach, sometimes realistic and sometimes not. Usually it felt more like a “should” than something I was truly excited about.  So, each year… after months (if I was super committed), weeks, sometimes only days, my resolve to change faded.  Ugh, a broken promise to myself. This is about the worst form of self degredation!

Several years ago, I tried something new. I decided to set up a new way of defining the year ahead. There is, after all, a sort of “clean slate” feeling to a fresh new year.  Being one who believes in setting intentions and visioning, I wanted to set forth some kind of goal or mission for myself.

So I proclaimed that it would be the year of “Opposite.” I decided that every chance I got, I would examine my routines, habits and reactions to life in terms of “What would the opposite routine/habit/reaction be?” Wow, it was so powerful! I turned many habits upside down, formed new ways of seeing myself, and moved ahead on a few challenges I had previously thought too scary (a new business, a challenging certification process, for starters!).  I didn’t do every single thing in an opposite way — I didn’t dye my brown hair blonde or trade in my car for a motorcycle — but I gave myself the option to consider the opposite way, even if just to stretch my imagination further. It certainly helped me stretch my view of my own life.

A Theme Reminder

Since that time, I’ve set a theme for each new year. And I always create a little laminated card that visually represents my theme – I make several and place them strategically around in office, my house, and my laptop bag, so that I have a constant and compelling reminder. Usually it has a picture that I’m in love with. Often, it’s something in nature. A few years ago, my “Trust” theme featured a sea otter floating peacefully — and trustfully — just allowing the water to provide a safe, nurturing support. I wanted to learn to trust myself and my world like that otter trusts the water!

And guess what? That year of “Trust” opened up a lot of new opportunities for me. I tried many new ideas out, wrote more, relaxed more.

2012: Awake!

My theme for this year is all about staying awake to life, being conscious of everything I’m experiencing. In other words… not sleep walking through my days, later wondering… where did the time go? My intention for 2012 is to fully, really, no kidding: experience every morsel of it! I haven’t created my theme card yet, but I think it will be a fun design.

What is YOUR theme for 2012?

And how can you use it to support your year, to be the backdrop to your dreams, goals and vision? And what structure (like my laminated card) might you create to keep this theme front and center, a reminder when the chips are down?

Some folks have asked me, “What the heck is Recalibration Thursday, and what the heck do you actually do to recalibrate?” Well, here is everything you wanted to know but were afraid to ask.

Recalibration Thursday = A Mindset, a Habit and an Action

First, a little background: I had gotten in a rut where it was “suddenly” Friday afternoon and I had not accomplished enough of my to-do list to feel good about the week. I landed on Friday feeling defeated about my week. Mondays started out great — a blank page, full of possibilities! But even though I’m a pretty realistic planner, I would sometimes underestimate the interruptions, snafus and worm holes that could eat up time. Not to mention new opportunities that pop up and rich conversations with folks that take longer than expected. And then there’s the surprise element of feeling low energy on a day I had planned big things – do I force yourself through it or do I honor your body’s wisdom and take a slower pace that day?

I had begun to hate Thursdays. I was feeling tired (from the “forcing through” bit) and overwhelmed. I was dreading a weekend of catch-up work. No one likes to feel like they failed to reach their goals week after week — this can really drain your enthusiasm. So I decided to turn it around. I started honestly evaluating what was happening on these grumpy Thursdays. I stepped back, and took note of what was missing in my week, what was overly present, and what needed to happen to honor both my business goals and my physical/spiritual self.

Hence, “Recalibration Thursday” was born. It’s on Thursday because enough of the week has gone by for me to know how things are really going. And there is still enough time to regroup, revisit my plans and end the week on a high note. Here are some specific ways I recalibrate (see if anything here works for your recalibration style):

• On Thursday, sometime before Noon, I stop and jot down all the accomplishments I’ve had for the week – coaching calls, writing assignments, marketing actions completed, networking, powerful conversations, new clients signed on, lessons learned, etc. I include personal accomplishments too.
• I put a star next to the activities that I consider “high payoff,” meaning – they had a direct positive impact on building my revenues, increasing my reputation/visibility, or deepening a relationship. I notice if my week had zero or few high-payoff activities and I immediately plan to complete at least one by the end of the day Friday. (Your “high-payoffs activities” may be different, so design accordingly.)
• I also say a little statement of gratitude for what I have accomplished – and more importantly, the impact that I’ve had on my clients, colleagues, family, friends… and most definitely, on myself. I celebrate!
• And, I look at my actual schedule for the rest of Thursday and Friday and determine what is realistically possible to accomplish, given existing appointments, promises made and my energy level.  For example, as I write this, I know that I have two hour-long phone calls this afternoon, and a 4-hour meeting on Friday. I cannot accomplish the 50 to-do items on my list! (As the “Scrubs” theme song, written by Lazlo Bane, goes, “I’m No Superman”.)  Instead, I pick out the one or two highest-payoff activities and set a 100% intention to do those. Often, they are sales calls or other activities I’ve been, ummmmm, well… avoiding.
• If I have to renegotiate a promise I made to someone else — I do it! Some promises are ironclad, others are truly negotiable — don’t get locked in just because you made a promise. If you can renegotiate it, you’ll probably do a better job of it anyway.
• I actually write a clean, new, shorter action list for the rest of Thursday and Friday – and punt the other activities into the bin to consider for next week (which I plan out either on Friday afternoon or on Sunday). Just this one part of the process brings HUGE relief! Look Ma! I can DO this! Instant confidence and energy. Now I’m lovin’ Thursday!

Recalibration Thursday gives me a breather at the end of the week and I can release that awful old punishing feeling of, “Well, I didn’t get it all done this week so now I will have to work all weekend to catch up.” The truth is – the kind of work I do is infinite in nature. There IS no such thing as “catching up.” When I remember this and allow myself to recalibrate realistically… I actually get the more important stuff done and enjoy my life and work a whole lot more.

So… Happy Recalibration Thursday! I invite you to join me today and every Thursday.

There is another team on board too – your inner team. I’m sure you’ve noticed that sometimes you feel like you are at the helm and sometimes… well, it feels like some other creature has taken the wheel. You probably notice it through the conversations in your head (we all have those!).

Let’s say you are invited to speak at next month’s meeting for the association that serves your ideal clients. Your internal conversation might go something like this:

“Oh my goodness, this is a fantastic opportunity to get my message out to a large number of my prospects!”

Then another voice chimes in, “But are you really ready for this? The website is pitifully out of date. And you are so bad at presentations. You should just save face and decline.”

And still another inner voice says, “Oh, just wing it – you’ll be fine!”

And there is probably a whole roster of other voices too, if you are anything like me!  Heck, it happens when I am deciding what to have for lunch: “I’m going to have a nice, healthy salad.” And then another part of me says, “But I’ve been working out. I deserve a treat.” And then, “You’re too busy for lunch, just forage in the pantry and get back to work!” With all this going in our heads, how on earth do we ever make the right choices?

Embrace Your Inner Teammates

We all have these various, conflicting aspects of ourselves, it’s very natural. Some would encourage you to quiet those clamoring voices, but I want to invite you to give them credence. Yes, these inner teammates are valid voices within you, and if you dig in and get to know them better, you can learn what special gifts each one has.

As a trained practitioner in The Inside Team process (developed by masterful coach trainer, Cynthia Loy Darst, MCC) I do this inner work with my clients. It can be a little tricky to do this on your own (one of your inner players could really throw you off the trail!). But a simple exercise to start getting to know your inner team – and begin to better manage the conversations you have in your head – is to simply identify a few of your players and write a short bio for each one.

Here’s what I mean – let me introduce you to some of my inner team! Now, I’ve done deep work on this with my coach(es), and I’ve looked at the healthy side and the shadow side of each player. When I call on the healthy side of the appropriate player for a given situation, things work quite gracefully for me. When I forget, and allow the shadow side of my players to blindside me… well, it’s not pretty.

So, to illustrate, here are just a few of my inner team players that show up in my role as a business owner.

Security Guard. Keeps watch over my decisions and actions, reminds me to vet new ideas and people I might engage with. Shadow side – Can become overly protective and keep me from taking even minor risks. Can strike fear in me when things get tough, morphs into more of a prison guard, locking me in.

Adventure Explorer. Leads the charge on new ideas, new engagements. Has the uncanny ability to solve problems with MacGyver-like ingenuity. Shadow side – Kind of shy. Needs encouragement to come out and play, needs space to roam. Becomes timid if the Security Guard is being overbearing.

Tech Geek. Unflappable when it comes to computers. Not afraid to click. Blends logic and intuition to flow with technology. Favorite book is Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. Could stay up all night tinkering with a tech issue. Shadow side – Could stay up all night tinkering with a tech issue, when it would be wiser to hire an expert to fix the problem so that I could get enough sleep and save time for my paying work.

Creative Genius. Can see multitudes of solutions for every challenging scenario. Deeply believes in the inner wellspring’s endless supply of fresh ideas. Shadow side – Oops, let’s make that “mostly” believes in the inner wellspring – on a couple of trigger topics, that belief is fleeting, at best.

Artist. Adores artistry and beautiful visuals. Fondly recalls being in an art flow as a child and can call up that feeling easily. Shadow side – Scared to dabble boldly, wants to avoid the wrath of (self) judgment.

Camp Counselor. Fun, lighthearted, Pied Piper leadership style. Keeps everyone safe but encourages goofy play. Shadow side – Forgets to show up. Forgets that she’s adored. Forgets that she matters.

Okay, get the idea?

When you get a few of your own inner players clarified, start noticing when they speak up – do they suddenly emerge around certain situations or people? The coolest part is that instead of unwittingly giving them the wheel, you get to intentionally decide who’s in charge and which of these players will do the best job in the moment. You’ll have much more productive inner conversations with yourself and approach situations more solidly. And frankly, you’ll find it easier to be nice to yourself.

Let me know if you want to do some Inside Team work with me! If you are a current client, we’ll work it into an upcoming session. If you haven’t worked with me and want to try it out, let’s have a 30-minute coaching conversation (free) with me and I’ll be sure to give you a little sampler. Here’s my scheduling link: http://tungle.me/MarthaCarnahan. I look forward to working with you AND your Inside Team!

But what about “idea clutter”? So many business owners tell me they have more ideas than they can keep up with. They tell me they suffer from “bright shiny object” syndrome – where every new idea, concept, interest and opportunity pulls hard at them, lures them away from what they were previously focused on… much like getting lost in the “click here” rabbit hole of the Internet.

Idea clutter is just like physical clutter. Oh, it may seem different at first glance, but the impact is the same.

The Impact of Idea Clutter

• Idea Clutter blocks your energy
• Idea Clutter is a distraction from what really matters (but is scary to you)
• Idea Clutter drains you emotionally
• Idea Clutter creates confusion
• Idea Clutter buries your treasures
• Idea Clutter keeps you playing small
• Idea Clutter overwhelms you into paralysis
• Idea Clutter traps you in an endless loop of false possibility
• Idea Clutter keeps you from living your true purpose
• Idea Clutter is an excuse to avoid your dreams

The very nature of being an entrepreneur is about growing an idea – you feed and nurture it, and develop it into a successful venture.  Business owners must take risks. And that includes the risk to focus on one idea instead of another. Like betting on a horse race, your job is to decide which idea has the best odds. And run with it. Even when the other ideas are jockeying for attention.

If you are like me, you might cringe at committing to just one, or even a few, ideas. What about the other ideas? What if they are better?  The truth is that taking action on a bad idea is more valuable than letting your best ideas idle on a post-it note somewhere on your desk. Even if your idea turns out to be a dud, the brave act of taking focused action will lead you to new discoveries, lessons learned and a more refined decision-making process.

Your role as business owner requires you to take charge of your idea processing. When idea clutter leads you astray, you are not leading your business. When new ideas keep you from completing something you’ve started, you’ve allowed some smaller part of yourself take over. Don’t worry – this is all very natural, you are not alone in this!

Enter… The Idea Incubator

My favorite way to manage idea clutter is to set up what I call an “Idea Incubator.” You can find the right way to do this for yourself, but my way is to keep a document handy on my computer’s desktop. When I’m bopping along doing my work (or play or whatever) and a new idea pops up in my brain, I click open that document and jot it down.  There are cool fancy gizmos and apps you can use, such as Evernote or even a memos application on your phone. One key for me is that I’ve got one master Idea Incubator that gets synchronized with my mobile device so that it’s always handy.

It’s a tremendous relief to offload my ideas into the Idea Incubator. Knowing they are safe and cozy there, I am free to keep my focus on the current idea. I’ll visit the Idea Incubator on occasion just to refresh my memory, and see if any of my little ideas are ready to hatch. Being this intentional about the ideas I am committing to also sharpens my ability to decide when to abandon an idea. With the clutter, it’s all mass confusion. But the Incubator keeps me focused. Like magic.

Ask yourself: “Which horse am I on right now?”  And try creating your own Idea Incubator to keep the rest of the herd from overtaking you.  Let me know how it works out for you.

If you do not possess the skill of empathy – of being able to imagine what it’s like to be in another person’s shoes – it makes sense that you would not take their feedback seriously either. Which puts you in quite a conundrum: Until you can begin to accept and believe the feedback, you won’t likely change your leadership style… which means continued turnover, strife among your staff, uncomfortable reviews, less-than-ideal results, burnout, heartburn & indigestion.

Regard is a Two-Way Street

The first step in becoming a better leader is to really really really listen to what people are saying about you. “Regard” is a key component of leadership. As in, how do your people regard you? What do you imagine they are saying about you around the dinner table with their families? What would you like them to say?

And shifting the regard of your staff begins with YOU shifting your regard toward them. Beginning with listening.

Rick Telberg, who writes CPA Trendlines, published a terrific blog post on this a few months ago. He referenced a Regent University leadership study that identified three categories of leader:

1. Transformational, which focuses on rallying followers around a shared vision and motivating them to elevate the organization’s interests above their own,
2. Transactional, which rewards or disciplines followers based on their performance, and
3. Servant, which is based on a desire to serve and encourages “collaboration, trust, foresight, listening, and the ethical use of power.”

Rick’s post highlights key findings in the study:

• Most leaders see themselves as either transformational or servant leaders.
• Most employees see their supervisors as transactional leaders.
• Most employees say they respond best to transformational leadership style.

The dots are not connecting! Take a good look at your own leadership style and give yourself an honest assessment. If I were to shadow you for a week, which category would I see you operating from?

Be honest. It’s your only chance. Stretch your mind and heart into seeing yourself how your staff sees you.

Please be sure to read Rick Telberg’s blog post, “What Kind of Leader Do You Think You Are? “