Brown Girl Excursions

Poor Eva Hoeke

noreply@blogger.com (Leatrice) — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 01:21:00 +0000

Rihanna

Yesterday's news had everyone up in arms. Rihanna had been called a "niggerbitch" in Jackie, a reputable Holland fashion mag with a readership of roughly 57,000 monthly. Morning tweets and Facebook posts blasted the magazine and editor-in-chief Eva Hoeke for running the story, using THOSE words, racism and for what many considered her non-apologetic apology. Rihanna took to twitter to respond -- punctuating her statement with "fuck you Eva". The saga has ended with the Eva's resignation. Cheers all around as evil racism has been thwarted and good has won out. Whooo- hoooo!!!!!!

Poor Eva Hoeke doesn't know what hit her. In her world of high fashion and trendsetting she and her colleagues are all about what's hot and what's next. Rihanna is hot. Hip Hop's kings, queens and king makers are hot. I imagine she and her friends have been listening to hip hop at least since Eminem hit the scene if not before. They use the slang and embrace the "swagger" of the hip hop lifestyle, which I might add really is about what's in the pages of her magazine - fashion, money, luxury, cars, boats and enjoying the good life. What's not to love? The images that are shot out from big city, bright lights USA are all that and a bag of chips.

Also add the fact that Jay-Z, Nas, 50-Cent, Kanye, Russell Simmons, Ludacris, Big Boi and the list goes on and on AND on of hip hop artists and provocateurs who purport to have "removed the power" from the word nigger by owning it, using it, NORMALIZING it. Even Common uses nigger in his music. It has to be ok if Common is using it. Lil' Kim, Foxie Brown and Trina also took ownership of the word bitch a long time ago, "removing the power" from it. You can't hurt me by calling me a bitch when I look in the mirror and call myself the very same thing. Or something like that. The offending copy reads as follows:

She has street cred, she has a ghetto ass and she has a golden throat. Rihanna, the good girl gone bad, is the ultimate niggabitch and displays that gladly, and for her that means: what’s on can come off. If that means she’ll be on stage half naked, then so be it. But Dutch winters aren’t like Jamaican ones, so pick a clothing style in which your daughter can resist minus ten. No to the big sunglasses and the pornheels, and yes to the tiger print, pink shizzle and everything that glitters. Now let’s hope she won’t beat anybody up at daycare.

Obviously the writer admires Rihanna's talent and respects her ability to do what she wants and the lengths she will go to be a the top of her game. The fact that Rihanna is NOT from Jamaica is a sticking point. As Jay Smooth pointed out to me on twitter that's just bad journalism. Agreed. But that aside, the blurb is essentially saying "That Rihanna is a bad bitch". I'm thinking nigger was tossed in like a punctuation mark to say just how awesome she is.

The challenge with playing in a global space is that cultural context is lost. Eva Hoeke believed she was within the lines because everyone uses the word. While the Dutch certainly have their own issues of around racism, it's not American apple pie racism. She probably doesn't realize how that word cuts deep and 1965 wasn't really that long ago. She certainly has no idea about how it feels to be suffocated by degradation. At least she didn't until she started getting angry responses from real Black people. Not the ones on TV and in the magazine covers. The folks who that word means something to. I don't view Eva Hoeke and her writer as evil racists and am not outraged. Disturbed, but not outraged. They drank the kool-aid. Jay-Z said ... "it's just a word". I watched the film Hangover 2 over the weekend and nigger was used a number of times in reference to the characters in the film. None were Black and I have heard no outcry.

There is however real outrage over this incident. Even Rihanna, who is pretty accurately described in the quote above (with the exception of being from Jamaica and of course being a niggabitch), is outraged. And therein lies the rub. You can't have it both ways. We've allowed it. We're all complicit. As my boy Rob Fields from Bold As Love so eloquently put it in our earlier Twitter discussion... chickens have come home to roost.

Peace,
Leatrice

I Am The Arts!

noreply@blogger.com (Leatrice) — Thu, 07 Apr 2011 04:10:00 +0000

When I checked my Facebook page this morning I was pleased to see a post from my colleague Chad Hertzog, a wonderful presenter from Pennsylvania, with a clip from last night’s Hardball with Chris Matthews. Chris’ guest was Kevin Spacey and the topic was arts funding.

In case you’ve missed it, in the economic downturn, arts funding agencies have been placed on the chopping block by state, local and federal law makers (once again). The conventional wisdom seems to be that the arts sector should not be funded by government. Period! Those of us who work in the sector, support artistic endeavors and benefit from arts programming do not see this viewpoint as wisdom. We are rather apt to collectively view it as short sighted and ill-advised.

We’ve been in this place before and if the repetitive nature of history holds true, we will be in this place again. The question is what will those of us who do art for a living do differently to ensure a different outcome. How do we ensure that the artists we present, children we educate, audiences we serve, programs we curate, jobs we create and economies we feed into are safe from the whim of a few who simply don’t get it. “The Arts” is not a line item in a budget or an abstraction. “The Arts” is comprised of millions of Americans who are fed by the ideas, movement, words, voices, beauty, colors, dimensions and contradictions of creativity that fill our moments.

The benefits of the work have been well documented. Now is the time to take it to the next level. This is a call to arms. Marches and flooding legislative in-boxes with letters of disapproval are cool, but so old school. We need to be slicker than that. We’re “The Arts” for goodness sake. We are the architects of creativity. We need a campaign! We need a campaign like “Don’t Drink and Drive” or “Buckle Up – It’s the Law”. We need our own “Just Say No” … but sexier. Get the “Got Milk” guys on the line! Making people aware of “The Arts” in the digital/fast-paced/short attention span/140 characters or less/ age is necessary. There are so many choices that don’t involve coming to a theater or gallery or site specific installation… site. The art sector needs our own Bono (what’s he up to these days?) or pink ribbon (created by the current hot painter, of course) or Girl Scout cookie (it has to be chocolate – women love chocolate and women support “The Arts”) to say to the world … “WE ARE THE ARTS DAMMIT! WE EXIST AND WE’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!!!” Provocatively of course (because we’re “The Arts”).

Instead of tightening our belt, downsizing, cutting programs and waiting for kinder, gentler lawmakers to take office and restore the emptied coffers and civility; we need to quietly take action and galvanize the troops. I’m currently reading Nudge by Richard H. Thaler and Cass R. Sunstein, a book about choice architecture and what leads people to make certain decisions. It’s brilliant. We should all get a copy, pull in the experts and figure out how to nudge the public into not only knowing that we exist, but understanding that without art and culture what does any of it really mean?

Leatrice Ellzy
I Am The Arts!

Reflections of King

noreply@blogger.com (Leatrice) — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 15:34:00 +0000

When our days become dreary with low-hovering clouds of despair, and when our nights become darker than a thousand midnights, let us remember that there is a creative force in this universe, working to pull down the gigantic mountains of evil, a power that is able to make a way out of no way and transform dark yesterdays into bright tomorrows. Let us realize the arc of the moral universe is long but bends towards justice.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. from Where Do We Go From Here (1967)

Random Acts of Kindness

noreply@blogger.com (Leatrice) — Fri, 14 Jan 2011 06:39:00 +0000

As the snow fell in Atlanta on Sunday night I was driving home having my own winter wonderland moment. I was listening to classical music on NPR and carefully making it home. The falling snow was so beautiful and the moment was so peaceful. As I approached the Georgia Capitol I noted that the streets were still blocked off from when a film crew was there earlier. The detour down MLK was in order. On a normal day this would have been no problem. But in the snow the slightest incline, already slicked with ice, proved tricky.

When I realized that the car was not going to get to the top of the hill I went into "I grew up in Delaware" mode. I got out of the car and tore the cardboard flaps off of a box I had in my trunk. I put cardboard under each of my rear tires and began inching my way up the hill. After about 4 or 5 attempts I was approached by a man who said he would help me.

He was a homeless man. He used the dry blankets in his bag under my tires amidst my protests. He said: "I have a mother and sisters. I'm going to get you up that hill." I couldn't argue with that. This was his moment, not mine to release him from nor take. After 3 or 4 attempts he recruited two men to help him get me up the hill. It worked. I got home safely and hopefully Mr. Good Samaritan had a nice warm place to sleep that night.

Stay Warm,
Leatrice

Wynton Dropping Gems

noreply@blogger.com (Leatrice) — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 05:30:00 +0000

Wynton Marsalis, Artistic Director
Jazz at Lincoln Center

60 Minutes aired a great segment on Wynton Marsalis tonight. For all of the controversy that often surrounds him, I find him to be inspirational. He was the closing speaker at our annual Arts Presenters Conference last year. It was a breakfast session that I almost blew off. I have heard Wynton speak many times and didn't feel like getting up early after a late night of hanging out. However, that still small voice inside me said to get up and go. I'm so glad I did. It was the best speech I had ever heard him deliver. The crux of it was to stay true to who we are and continue presenting culturally relevant work in spite of the pressure to focus on what is popular. His words were confirmation for me and resonated greatly.

As I prepare to go back to work tomorrow and begin the process of wrapping up artists for the 2011 Festival I will remember Wynton's words and stay true to what I know and who I know I am.

Leatrice

Happy New Year!

noreply@blogger.com (Leatrice) — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 14:53:00 +0000

Loving that today is 1/1/11. Happy New Year! No resolutions for me this year. I'm just moving with the flow and savoring every moment. That's the plan. I have spent so much time operating in a projected future that I miss the nuances of the present. It has finally dawned on me that the past is my foundation and the present is my opportunity. The future exists only within the context of past and present. The future cannot stand absent of either and is not in my control. Imagine that!! I don't control the future. Who knew?? So, if you see someone living in the moment out the corner of your eye as you wander through 2011... that will be me. And I'm going to enjoy every minute of it.

Leatrice

Be The Change You Want To See

noreply@blogger.com (Leatrice) — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 16:52:00 +0000

The world is crying. Not only are the people hurting, but the earth itself is moaning. In case you haven't been paying attention to what's been going on in the world -- it's a mess right now. And guess what? It's not going to get any better unless WE commit to make it better. It is our collective responsibility to make the world a better place for our present and our future.

Many of you who read Brown Girl Excursions know me really well and have known me for a long time. You know that I have always engaged in community building work or work that planted seeds of change in people. However, the reality I've been grappling with as of late is that I'm not doing nearly enough. I'm not working to my full capacity. I'm not even taking the time to move forward with my own vision. The reality I'm facing is that at some point I picked up the bad habit of doing just enough to get by and to coast through. It's time that I break that habit. What about you?

I know you're busy. We are all busy. But what are we busy doing and what fruit are we bearing? What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? What can you give toward change? What issues are you drawn to? Education? Health? Environment? Microlending? Whatever you are drawn to ... jump into it. What are we afraid of? Being a change agent begins with changing ourselves and the way we see the world. When we see the world more clearly we are clear about where our hands are needed and what to put our minds to.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darknes that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make mainifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. As as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

- Marianne Williamson from A Return to Love: Reflections of A Course in Miracles

I'm leaping into change and being that which I want to see in the world. What about you?

-- le

Perfunctory!

noreply@blogger.com (Leatrice) — Sat, 27 Nov 2010 15:08:00 +0000

Question Mark by GraveUnicorn

Earlier in the week I was talking with a friend who basically said what's up with your blog. He felt that as of late my blogs seemed forced ... rote ... perfunctory. He's right. And here I am thinking that no one else noticed.

Le

Give To The World Your Very Best...

noreply@blogger.com (Leatrice) — Sun, 21 Nov 2010 14:57:00 +0000

When I was a little girl I had an autograph book. The purpose of the autograph book was for famous people to sign. I didn't know any famous people back then but had plenty of friends and family who were willing to give me their John Hancock. Third grade is a blank for me. I don't even recall who my third grade teacher was but I remember my friends signing my autograph book at the end of the school year. We wrote things like "Friends Forever" and cute rhymes about writing upside down in the book. We were in third grade and that's what third graders do. Of all the signatures and sayings I received in my two or three autograph books there are two that stand out. One was written by my grandmother and one by my mother. This blog post is about my grandmother's words...

"Give to the world your very best and the best will be yours in return."

This quote has remained with me my entire life and has often been a reminder for me when I wanted to take unnecessary shortcuts (sometimes shortcuts are necessary though). Those words by my grandmother ... Give to the world your very best and the best will be yours in return... simple AND expectant. As a young person I learned how to give by the example set by my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, extended family and friends. I came from giving people. I worked hard in school, shared with others, stood up for those who needed it and stood up for the right thing - even though it was sometimes unpopular with my friends, was there for people when they needed me, was responsible, etc. The stuff you do when you are a kid who wants to do the right thing. As an adult I'm pretty much the same person.

Defining the "best will be yours in return" part could have been a little tricky. Is the "best" fortune? Is it fame? Fortunately I also learned from my family what the "getting" was all about. My family valued people so we weren't raised to value things. While we had nice things and liked nice things we were not defined by the things. That wasn't where life's value lived in my household. My memories spill over with family trips, cook-outs, beach outings, museums, plays, a house often full of family and friends, parties and meals together. Those moments were where life's value lived. There was value in what we did for other people when they needed it. There was value in how we opened our home up to those we loved when they needed it. There was value in the time we spent together. There was value in how we loved one another.

As an adult I am clear where the real value in my life is. It is found in an amazing family who I love unconditionally and who loves me as I am. It is found in meaningful relationships and long lasting friendships. It is found in work that is meaningful to me and that positively impacts the lives of so many. While I am grateful for the lessons I have learned and continue to learn I'm even more grateful for the likely and unlikely teachers and experiences God has placed in my life.

Peace,
Le

Releasing The Past To Make Room For The Future

noreply@blogger.com (Leatrice) — Fri, 12 Nov 2010 02:38:00 +0000

The art of releasing is not as easy as we may like for it to be. It seems that you should be able to put your mind to it and let go. Just... release. Unfortunately, our connections are often emotional and just not that damn easy to break. As children some of us might have been comforted by a favorite toy, blanket or pacifier. That was the beginning.... We haven't been able to easily let go since.

It's the end of the year. Time to close out one moment in time and welcome in another. Will your new year be a "to be continued" episode of this year? 2010 wasn't such a bad year for me actually. It was full of laughter, family, friends, coming full circle on some issues that have lingered in the air for years and being really clear and accepting of who I am at this juncture in my journey. I'm not mad at 2010. I have a lot to be grateful for. However, I'm in serious release mode right now. First I'm letting go of the easy stuff - the issues and people that I'm not so emotionally attached to. I'm purging my Facebook page, deleting numbers from my phone, shredding old bills and giving away old clothes that I will not wear... that sort of thing. THEN I'm attacking the difficult ... hand wrangling... sleep losing... need a few days off from work to get to the nitty gritty... damn, I wish I still drank ... I just want to cry... issues and people.

While it might prove challenging, I think it will be good in the long run. When your space is cluttered with "old" you have no room to accept the "new". The art of releasing is not as easy as we may like for it to be...

Peace,
Le

Grape Juice Like They Serve At Communion

noreply@blogger.com (Leatrice) — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 08:00:00 +0000

It's 4:02 AM or maybe it's 3:02 AM ... I'm not sure. Daylight savings. I think clocks fell back at 2 AM. I guess the clock on my computer updated automatically, but do we really know until we look at our cell phones? Anyway, it's late (or early) and I'm up. I was sleep and was craving cranberry juice either in a dream or in my subconscious. I'm not sure. But I got up, got dressed and made a run to CVS. NO cranberry juice. They didn't even have a juice mixed with cranberry. I got grape juice instead. It reminds me of communion at my grandparent's church in Alabama. What a refreshing source of antioxidant vitamin C. Plus, it's a healthy way to squeeze more fruit into my daily diet. 4 oz delivered me 1/2 cup of fruit. Not bad at 4 in the morning, huh?

The million dollar question however is why am I up in the middle of the night wanting cranberry juice to begin with? On one hand I may need to check my diet and see what I'm not getting. Admittedly I've been a tad bit lax in what I've been putting in my body. I've got to get back on it. I'm thinking about going cold turkey on food and hit the Master Cleanser for a week or so. It will cleanse the body and I can work on cleansing the rest of me. Since we're entering flu and cold season I also need to fill up on vitamins and protect myself against the hackers and coughers. I went to a dance performance last night and it was evident that I need to wear a mask. I'm just sayin... An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

I believe my foray into the night in search of cranberry juice also has to do with my current stress level. There is sooooo much going on. So much to think about. Again, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Since I know that my stress level is up I need to detach myself from the causes of my stress ... aspects of work, select people in my life and a lack of sufficient rest because of work, people and did I say work?

Understanding what is going on is half the battle. I have the power to change it all. What am I going to do about it? Stay tuned. Good night... or rather good morning.

Peace,
Leatrice

Dismissed!

noreply@blogger.com (Leatrice) — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 03:31:00 +0000

I'm sprung! Jury duty is ova. The defendant pleaded out and we were released. I'm glad to have had an opportunity to see our system work and the judge was not bad on the eyes either so at least I would have had something interesting to look at during slow patches in the trial. Yep. Well, that chapter is closed and I'm on to the next thing.

The next thing indeed. It's the time of year when we begin to lock down the programming for the following year so that budgets can be approved by the Board of Directors in November. There is so much to take into consideration. Budgets are tight and the economy is not going to get better any time soon. What to do? What to do? Be creative and think out of the box. Those are usually the best outcomes anyway. Creativity and out the box thinking usually births something that is unique and ultimately quite amazing. The lid of the box is off and I am running around it in circles and straight angles. Welcome to my world. LOL.

Dr. Collette Hopkins, my colleague in the Education and Public Programs side of the Festival, and I are in sync on what's up. Hopefully we can get leadership on the same page. Fingers crossed, legs crossed, cross yourself (in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit) and look both ways before crossing the street. I'm finding the latter to be great advise in the fast paced world we operate in.

In other news, I might be going to Bamako, Mali at the end of the month to check out contemporary African dances. Young(ish) visual artists, writers, dancers, musicians and filmmakers on the continent are creating some amazing work. The stories they are telling on canvas, in movement, through sound and in film is worth you checking them out. They are the voices of a new Africa -- post Apartheid, post independence, post hip hop, post China, you get the point. I will introduce you to some of these voices as we continue our Excursions together.

That's it for me tonight... take good care.

Peace,
Leatrice

Civics 101

noreply@blogger.com (Leatrice) — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 03:59:00 +0000

There were a zillion people in the room. How did I become one of the 12 jurors chosen out a zillion? I spent the day avoiding eye contact with the attorneys trying not to look kind or sympathetic or too mean and cold. Obviously I missed the balance and was chosen out of one zillion people.

Upon further reflection however I am clear that serving on a Jury is a one of our civic duties living in America. The profound might happen in the process and my life is changed forever. Ya never know.

I do question however this idea of civic duty. We vote, pay taxes, sit on juries, etc in the name of civic duty. We essentially keep the system oiled and moving forward. We do this by laws put in place to govern our civic behaviors. Who governs the civic behaviors of those we place in positions of leadership?

I'm not feeling that our politicians embrace the civic standards of living when it comes to their accountability to tax paying, voting, jury siting citizens. Nope. They are not thinking about me. But I would be wrong if I started ignoring them and doing my own thing?

Peace,
Le

noreply@blogger.com (Leatrice) — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 11:54:00 +0000

Wasn't it just Sunday? The days, weeks and months are flying by. Atlanta is feeling like fall on some days and on others you are reminded of the season only by the changing colors of the leaves as the weather is still rather warm. I am engrossed in constant thought, planning, discarding of ideas after fleshing them out and going back to the drawing board to improve upon the initial thought (or not). I feel like I'm changing and growing in ways that I can't even articulate. Kinda like the seasons.

Last week was heavy. A lot going on at work. This is the time of the year that we meet with sponsors in preparation for the following year's Summer Festival. I've been attending those meetings, working through the 2011 schedule and building budgets. Additionally, we are exploring a project with the Gantt Center in Charlotte so we were in Charlotte for a meeting last week. Although it was a short week it didn't feel like it. I caught up on sleep yesterday as the week required some really early mornings and very late nights. I needed the sleep.

Random Thoughts....

1. Politics: I had a conversation with a friend earlier this week who has decided that he's not voting anymore. He will be a no show on Nov. 2. He's not participating in the process of democracy anymore because it's all BS. Disturbing to say the least. This decision was no knee jerk reaction to some current even... he's one of those thoughtful brothers who has totally analyzed the situation. His argument was so air tight that I could hardly dissent. He is totally disillusioned with the system, the process and most of all, our President. There was an article in NY Times Magazine yesterday, Education of a President. It is a good article. You can read it here. I'm shooting it to my boy too. Don't think it will make a difference but you never know.

2. Music & Thangs: In rotation on my iPod lately is a lot of deep house and lounge music. Blue Six, my girl Gaelle, Telepopmusik and the Naked Music catalog is in heavy rotation. Also in heavy rotation are a number of podcasts and audio books. I think the music is helpful in quieting the space so I can hear whatever I'm supposed to be getting.

3. Education: The education system in the country is a mess. What are we going to do about it? Even if you have no children in the system, we have a collective responsibility for what is going on in classrooms or rather what is not going on in classroom as is the case. My good friend Al Miller is the VP of Operations for the Schott Foundation for Public Education. They publish the 50 State Black Boys Report. It is worth the read.

4. Pop Culture: Big up to Marisa for turning me on to CreativeControl.com ... A cutting edge online content label based upon the fundamental idea of maintaining creative control over all content and production from programming to advertising. Loving it!!

5. Arts

While in Charlotte last week I checked out Progeny Two, a collaboration between Deborah Willis and Hank Willis Thomas — mother and son — as well as Fo Wilson and her son Dayo Harewood. Deb and Hank are photographers. Each photo makes you linger as you check the nuances. Fo Wilson uses the language of furniture to amplify the human experience and Dayo is a filmmaker dealing with the images of African American women. The show highlights the impact of family, history, and memory on the processes of artistic production.

Ananda Nahu is a Brazilian graffiti artist I came across last year and continue to be inspired by the work she is doing on walls and on canvas. Check out more of her work here and here.

Running out to enjoy a little of this day before pulling out work. Jury duty tomorrow. Enjoy your Sunday!!

Peace,
Le

Brown Girl is Back! Well... Almost.

noreply@blogger.com (Leatrice) — Sat, 02 Oct 2010 14:53:00 +0000

It's October. Almost a year since I found out that I have congestive heart failure and thought I was going to die. I didn't die but a lot has changed since then as far as how I treat myself. I'm really taking care of me a lot better than I used to. Probably not as well as some would hope, but I'm getting there. It's a process. I actually cook now and eat at home more often as opposed to eating out EVERY DAY. That's major. I'm working it out.

The being aware of my own mortality thing has also driven me to work on my overall BECOMING. I'm 43. Who am I? Am I doing what I want to do with my life? More importantly... am I doing what I am supposed to be doing with my life? These are all questions that I have been asking myself over the past year. The level of introspection has been bananas. I would like to publicly apologize to all of my friends who have been forced to listen. Sorry y'all. LOL.

I didn't understand the extent of my "going through it" until recently. A few things gave it away. Perhaps the one of the most blaring indicators has been the silence on my blog believe it or not. Those of you who have followed Brown Girl Excursions know that I usually have something to say about a everything. This year I have had very little to say as I've been observing and posting bits on Facebook here and there, but for the most part I've been quiet. I have historically blogged about what's going on in my life and my observations about what I see in the world. I've been living my life so internally over the past 12 months that there hasn't been anything that I could write about. On many levels I shut down. I grounded myself and haven't traveled nearly as often as I have in the past -- so no notes on travel excursions. I actually passed on work related trips to Brazil and Bogota this year -- who does that? The old me would never! In an effort to rest my body I often leave work and come home or do some equally chilled thing like dinner with friends. This practice has cut out one of my favorite extracurricular activity - EXPERIENCING COOL ASS STUFF IN THE CITY. So again, I have had nothing to really write about -- so I haven't.

It hasn't all been boring personal psychotherapy though. The fantastic thing about all of this is that I'm landing on the other side. I feel like I have grown immensely over the past year. I did some grown up things like bought a house and a new car. I am getting my work grind under control instead of allowing it to control me AND starting two new business. I feel that I am aligning more with who I am at this moment in my life and engaging more in what matters to me. I'm very excited about what's next. A new and improved version of the Brown Girl is is coming! Get ready. I am!

Peace,
Leatrice

The Arts In Your Backyard

noreply@blogger.com (Leatrice) — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 22:15:00 +0000

One of the things I love about Atlanta is that we are home to some of the most amazing artists and scholars in the world. On any given day you can attend an event, go to the grocery store or chill out in the park and bump into artistic genius. When I lived in New York it was not out the ordinary to see acclaimed artists standing next to you on the train reading the Times or sitting next to you in a restaurant. I appreciate being able to experience the same in the ATL and the opportunity to watch their artistic experimentation in small venues, during staged readings, in studios and classrooms.

I recently received this message from drummer John Roberts, on my Facebook Page.

Leatrice it’s people like you that make it worth our while : ). Thank you for supporting the music and the culture. We live locally in Atlanta, but we are global to the rest of the world. We just love what we do and love to play with each other…. FOR FREE!! Shouts out to David Sanchez who also just loves to hang! Look around Atlanta and see what’s around you! New York would die to see this every week.

How about your backyard? Who are the artists that reside there? Do you support their work by checking out performances or going to their readings and critiques? I bet your backyard is teeming with artists – established as well as artists who are becoming. Support them. Your support strengthens the local arts scene and moves it from your backyard to the stages of the world.

Peace,
Leatrice

Random Thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Leatrice) — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 02:15:00 +0000

1. What's up with the news media? To be intelligent people they seem to have forgotten that the country was a MESS when Obama took over. The selective memory is killing me. The media's critique and criticism of the President is outrageous and ridiculous. He hasn't even been in office for two years yet. Give him an opportunity to straighten out the drama which is the United States of American. I was in Barnes and Noble the other day and found no fewer than 10 books that have been written about him ... bashing him of course. I am astounded and dumbfounded. I have said it before and will say it again. I stand by this President. He's not a perfect man, but he's a man that is trying to build something positive for this country and he's a smart man. Smart is always a plus in my book.

2. Mosquitoes. Mosquitoes have eaten me alive this summer. They buzz around my front door and wait until someone opens the door. It's a lot more than I'm used to seeing. Was there a mosquito population boom that I am unaware of. I don't think it's another sick experiment like the government conducted in Savannah, Georgia and Avon Park, Florida in 1956 and 1957. Army researchers released millions of mosquitoes on the two towns in order to test the ability of insects to carry and deliver yellow fever and dengue fever. Hundreds of residents fell ill, suffering from fevers, respiratory distress, stillbirths, encephalitis and typhoid. Army researchers disguised themselves as public health workers in order to photograph and test the victims. Several deaths were reported. Both were African American communities. I think I'm safe as I live in a post gentrification area. At least I hope so.

3. The Segway guy accidentally drove his segway off of a cliff at his estate in the UK. Wow! That's kinda shocking. RIP Mr. Heselden.

4. I have figured out that most people don't get it. Those who do get it are trying to figure out what they can get out of it. Others don't even care enough to benefit from the situation. Who taught us to be silent? Where did we learn to be apathetic? It's making me crazy.

5. Dealing with egos and ignorance is exhausting and prohibits your growth. Run as fast as you can!

6. I hope Tyler Perry doesn't screw up For Colored Girls.... I really want to like it. The old stories and classics are being retold to a new generation. That's always good (although it is because there is not a creative bone in anyone's body these days - but I digress. I really hope he doesn't totally screw up and it turns into Waiting to Exhale II.

7. Build the Mosque!

8. While on the topic of religion. .. Bishop Long is correct in not wanting to try his case in a court of public opinion. If he's guilty... "damn Bishop - really?". If he's innocent I need the news media and everyone else who has made him and his ministry a punch line to stand in line to either apologize or kiss is ass. He seems like that kind of dude.

9. And finally... listening to a 2002 or 2003 song by French group Telepopmusik called Breathe. I am slowly coming to myself and learning to BREATHE again! I like. It seems that I haven't done this in years. You should try it if you haven't in a while. It's great!

That's it for now... I'm sure there will be more random thoughts to come as I clean out my mind for the next adventure. ;) LOL

Peace,
Leatrice

Knight In Shining Armor

noreply@blogger.com (Leatrice) — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 02:54:00 +0000

I'm washing a long overdue load of colored clothes right now. Why is this blog worthy? Until 20 minutes ago I couldn't wash clothes that required cold water as the cold water did not work on my BRAND NEW washing machine. The installation crew from hhgregg hooked it up incorrectly and no cold water for me... only hot. Again, why is this an actual post? I am sharing this experience because without Mike Moss coming through and hooking it up correctly I wouldn't have figured it out. The way my brain was clicking on the mechanics of this situation was totally the opposite of what was real. And I'm a bright girl.

He fixed in three minutes what I have been trying to figure out for days. The roles of men and women are important and compliment one another. I know... no great revelation there, but in an age where the numbers of single educated women outweigh suitable male counterparts we are expected to be super women. We are expected to know how to change tires and oil, lift heavy stuff, have tools and know the mechanics of how things work. Really? I am officially revolting against that ideology. I just want to be a chick. I'm not changing tires and lifting heavy stuff. I will walk through open doors and accept your invitation to dinner, dancing or great conversation.

Thank you Mike Moss for being my knight in shining armor!

Leatrice

Home Sweet Home

noreply@blogger.com (Leatrice) — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 03:42:00 +0000

In March my landlord of 3 years hit me up when I was in London to talk about the house. I was kinda out of pocket and couldn't really connect with her. That 5 hour time difference is serious when you are in London working and kicking it for your birthday. We caught up with one another when I got back and she hit me with ... "if you are not going to buy my house I need you out by May 31st." AWKWARD. To avoid moving, which I hate, I was willing to purchase the home. However, she wanted to sell it to me at the 3 years ago rate. Ummmm.... Since I wasn't born YESTERDAY I decided it was time to spread my wings and go find a house that makes sense for me. And so the hunt began.

After looking at 4 or 5 spots and a little over 60 days later I have purchased a house. I closed today!! Yaaay. The horror stories I heard were many. Tales of first borns, blood on the closing table, torture techniques, etc. I kept asking the realtor "what can go wrong at this point?" It was all too smooth. I am grateful for smooth and uneventful. I now have keys to MY HOUSE.

Shout out to Anita Hicks for being the best Realtor and Lori Medly at Wells Fargo for being on top of her game. Thank you ladies. Now I have to study these carpet samples.

Peace,
Leatrice

"What's Up Big Time?"

noreply@blogger.com (Leatrice) — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 02:57:00 +0000

The day started out early for me. I was at the office by 7:30 AM. That never really happens. Not in my universe. I hit the ground running and got quite a bit done before everyone started rolling in. A few people commented on the energy in the office. Something wasn't right. My 11 AM meeting with the Programming and Technology team was good. Got a lot accomplished in a short period of time. Lunch was cool... Ceaser salad. Mike and I cut a spot to send to one of the radio stations because the one they did was shamefully bad. And they are a professional radio station... really guys? Followed that up with a meeting with another radio station, WCLK, to discuss a solid strategy around our upcoming events. It was a really good meeting. I'm pulled out of that meeting to get on a conference call with Turner Broadcasting to answer some pressing questions they had. They asked. I answered. Everyone was pleased. The day, albeit long, was going my way...

Then I got the news that something was amiss. A chain had been broken in our NBAF family with the death of James Austin. James was a friend to many. Son of our former Executive Producer Stephanie Hughley. Father to his children and husband to his wife. He was something to everyone. He had a great spirit and loved life. I've been speechless because you can't really put it in words. We expect to see 40 year olds turn 50, fathers walk their daughters down the aisle and our peers become our heroes. But God saw fit to take James at this time. We must lean not on our own understanding, but trust that God is all knowing, all powerful and the Master of all we do.

I remain speechless and seek the lessons for myself in James' living and dying. Whew... this being aware of one's own mortality is deep. We never live our lives for ourselves - our lives are a testimony for others. The conversation between James and I always began with him saying "What's up Big Time?". My response was always "Whatever James". And he'd smile that smile. Brother you will be remembered for your heart and your willingness to help me whenever I needed it. I am forever grateful. Rest in Peace James. Rest in Peace.

Speechless,

Moving, Moving, Moving

noreply@blogger.com (Leatrice) — Sat, 29 May 2010 13:21:00 +0000

I'm packing to move. I so hate moving. I really, really hate moving. In my mind I didn't really have much to pack. Ha. Who was I kidding? I thought I was doing something packing a book shelf last week. That was 5 boxes. I'm 10 boxes in on the kitchen alone and haven't even packed serving platters and pots and pans. I don't even cook that much. Why do I have so much kitchen/ cooking/ serving stuff?

This move is a little different than my previous moves because up until yesterday I thought I was moving into one space (the garage of the house I'm buying) only to find that I really just need to put everything in storage as I'm stuck in underwriting and we can't close on my new house yet. I will depend on the kindness of family and friends over the next two weeks as I sleep in spare bedrooms and on couches. Nice.

Oh, and did I mention the 2010 National Black Arts Festival is 7 weeks away AND we are moving the Festival offices in the next two weeks. I HATE MOVING!!! I really, really do. I have been so distracted with all of this ... WORK, MOVING, HOUSE BUYING... It has been overwhelming. In the midst of it all I am focusing on my health and trying not to slip into old habits of managing stress with food, working all hours of the night to get the unruly work load under control and ignoring my body when it is screaming for rest. I lay it on down when it's time to lay it on down.

Speaking of my health. Here's an update: I'm on my way to a cardiology specialist this week for a second opinion on the treatment options for my cardiomyopathy. My original doc who is a great cardiologist is going straight for the "you need a defibrillator immediately" route. His nurse told me that they "do this all of the time and it's really no big deal. You'll only be out of work for about a week and she doesn't understand my reservations". Hmmmm... you may do this all the time sweetie but THIS IS MY LIFE!!! This procedure involves cracking open my chest and putting a machine in. Ummmm... I don't think so. Not without a second opinion. Additionally, the magic defibrillator only lasts for a certain number of years and WILL have to be replaced at some point which means going in again (maybe even twice as I am only 43). Oh yeah, and I might never need it. Second opinion is needed.

My recent tests showed a slight improvement. I just need to understand the required amount of exercise and medication therapy to get the results I need. I can strengthen my heart and reverse this thing. It's possible. I've read too many studies on it to believe otherwise. Our bodies heal themselves when we treat it well -- right combination of foods, exercise and rest. I know people whose conditions were much worse than mine and they are not even taking medication any longer. So many factors in the care we get and the treatment options. I feel like I'm stuck in a flow chart with my current doctor. If this... then that. Instead to seeing me as an individual I am a birthdate, social security number and simple textbook diagnosis. Second opinion is needed. The set of doctors I'm going to visit this week come highly reccommended from people I trust and they are supporters of the Festival. I have a chance at being a person with them rather than a set of numbers.

My August vaca can't come soon enough. Not sure where I'm going but I know that chillaxin' is high on the priority list. I need a break from all of it for a while. Two weeks will do me some good. Now where did I put that doggone bubble wrap?

Peace,

Lena Horne RIP

noreply@blogger.com (Leatrice) — Mon, 10 May 2010 07:28:00 +0000

It's 2:28 AM and I just found out that Lena Horne died last night. The New York Times Obit states "Ms. Horne might have become a major movie star, but she was born 50 years too early, and languished at MGM in the 1940s because of the color of her skin". She was a major star to us though wasn't she? It doesn't matter how old you are Lena Horne is Hollywood royalty as far as Black people are concerned. When Lena Horne showed up on the screen you were mesmerized. First by her beauty and then by her voice. Lena Horne could blow.

I remember watching her in Cabin in the Sky and Stormy Weather when I was a young girl. I would stand in the mirror singing Stormy Weather with all of the Lena Horne intonations I could muster up. Her films had been created 30 years earlier but I found them relevant. I found her relevant. It wasn't until later that I learned about how active she had been in the Civil Rights Movement, sacrificing her own career to stand for what she believed in. She became more than just a great talent to me and shifted to a great woman.

The NY Times obituary ended with a quote from Lena Horne that I felt was appropriate to close this post with.

"Looking back at the age of 80, Ms. Horne said: “My identity is very clear to me now. I am a black woman. I’m free. I no longer have to be a ‘credit.’ I don’t have to be a symbol to anybody; I don’t have to be a first to anybody. I don’t have to be an imitation of a white woman that Hollywood sort of hoped I’d become. I’m me, and I’m like nobody else.”

Rest in Peace Lena Horne (June 30, 1917- May 9, 2010). Remember her, learn more about her and allow yourself to be inspired by her life.

To Blog Or Not To Blog ... That Is The Question

noreply@blogger.com (Leatrice) — Fri, 07 May 2010 21:11:00 +0000

I have a confession. I am not a blogger. I let things like "life" get in the way. Real bloggers... they blog about life and move through each episode ... good and bad... with fervor and fingers steadily tapping out a vivid picture of what they've seen, heard and experienced. Real bloggers take you into their very soul or wherever it is they want to take you. Me... not so much. Not a real blogger. Life got in the way and I acquiesced to its ebb and flow. I allowed it to engulf me in its rapturous push and pull. No blog. For months. So there is my confession. I will no longer apologize for not blogging because technically I'm not a blogger and won't feel bad about it. When I have nothing to say... I will not write. There is nothing worse than reading a blog post about nothing. Now that we've gotten that out of the way and there is no expectation of blogging going on here we can proceed.

There has been sooo much going on in the Brown Girl's life. As is usually the case during this time of the year we are gearing up for the NBAF Summer Festival. I continue to be appreciative of the work at the National Black Arts Festival and the opportunities the work affords me in terms of personal growth, expanded knowledge and development. My team at NBAF has been working on a technology project for the past 4 years and it is finally showing signs of life. Phase one of the twenty-three page plan we developed has been executed. We're moving on to the next one. In other news... I have a new boss who is male. I haven't had one of those since 1996. Novel. I'm not job hunting so I would say that we're good.

In addition to having a new boss, I also have congestive heart failure. Obviously I contracted it like the common cold. Go figure. According to my cardiologist (yes, I have a cardiologist), a virus ran through my body last summer and infected my heart. It was pretty random. It kicked in with a vengeance in October. After a cardio echo thingy they admitted me to the hospital saying things like "You are very ill." My response was "Are you 100% sure this isn't pneumonia?" They assured me that it was indeed cardiomyopathy and that my heart was only pumping blood to the rest of my body at 34% (normal hearts eject at 75%-90%). Admittedly I was afraid of dropping dead at any moment. I took time to curate my final services but couldn't write my obituary because it freaked me out. When I didn't die after the first few days I opted instead to increase my odds of living as that is really want I want to do. I changed my diet, started walking and lost 30 pounds. I feel fine right now. I'm taking better care of myself and slowing down until I can get the heart back to normal. Like the Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman ... I can rebuild it.

My family is well. Jamall, my baby brother is getting married to Crystal who we like (thank God). Janelle, my sister just got a new job that suits her and my mother is healthy and continues to hold it down as the matriarch of the family. I've talked work, health and family. I guess I should include what's happening on the relationship front. I met a boy. I like him. He likes me. We'll see what happens next. How about that for a cliffhanger? LOL. That's the 411 on what's been up with the non-blogging Brown Girl. Until next time...

Peace,

Leatrice

Whole Foods - Whole Paycheck

noreply@blogger.com (Leatrice) — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 05:22:00 +0000

I went to Whole Foods tonight to pick up a few items. A few equated to three things. My bill was $36.00. THIRTY-SIX DOLLARS. It made me think about how expensive healthy eating is. There are no healthy options in the hood. The streets are lined with KFC, Popeye's, McDonald's, BK, JJ's Rib Shack and other equally non-healthy options. And let's not forget the liquor store that lives on the corner.

Puffy was right ... Cash Rules Everything Around Us. To eat healthy requires not only access, but resources. I've got to figure out how to start growing my own veggies. Kinda hard when you live downtown, but I'm going to figure it out because I cannot give my Whole Paycheck to Whole Foods.

Peace,

Life Living Me

noreply@blogger.com (Leatrice) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 10:41:00 +0000

Time for me to get back to my blog. It has been too long of a stretch. Life has been happening and I've been running non-stop trying to keep up with it. I'm not sure that's the way it should be unfolding-- my life that is. Living life vs. life living you. Hmmmmm. I've got to think about this.

Peace,