Beat The First Man - A Football Blog

Moving On

2011-02-19T17:47:00.000Z

Dear Blogger, I'm terribly sorry I had to do this through a letter, it just felt better than talking to you in person because I am a wuss like that. I guess there is no easy way of saying this, but I'm mving on. Please don't get too upset, we were not a good match. I needed someone more instantaneous, who could respond to my needs rapidly, and I think we both know that isn't you. You'd be much

John Carew is an idiot

2011-02-19T15:41:00.000Z

As I type this, John Carew has cored, and is leading his new club, Stoke, into the quarter finals of THE WORLD'S GREATEST CUP COMPETITION (c). This success on the pitch does not, however, equate itself to success off the pitch. As this story demonstrates.

Manchester City with Rooney, Torres, Ribery, Kaka and Ronaldo

2011-02-18T08:28:00.000Z

Oh internetiwebs, why must you mock the less professional amongst us so? Where's Wally? Please also note the use of IstyOsty for the hosting of this link. Web savvy types will be fully aware of link baiting and similar SEO techniques used to bolster the position of a web page within Google. The Daily Mail are particularly adept at this, and it is no coincidence that they are creating ever-more

Gaffer, can I stand next to someone besides Kovasevic in the wall?

2011-02-14T09:11:00.001Z

Ouch! Hernanes Assaults Benzema

2011-02-09T21:05:00.000Z

Got to love an international friendly. Lots of players going through the motions, media getting themselves into apoplexy, domestic managers having heart attacks. And nothing much happening at all.

A Goalkeeper's Lot Is Not A Happy One

2011-02-09T20:25:00.000Z

Normally, there wouldn't be anything to commend you to spend any part of your life watching Ebbsfleet v Farnborough, I know. But of the fourteen minutes of this video, you really do only need the first, ooh, minute? Two, tops.Ebbsfleet United v. Farnborough (5.2.11) from MyFootballClub on Vimeo.Takes it well, I think

Dear God In Heaven, Make It Stop

2011-02-09T16:43:00.000Z

It won't have escaped many readers' notice that I don't have much for the Crawley laugh-a-thon. I'll not bore you with the details. However, any last vestige of I don't know what, hope? I may have had for the whole sorry fiasco is now dead. Gone. Destroyed. And a smoking gun can be found right here Cheeky back heal from @robandrobility

Radiolab Presents: The Loneliness of the Goalkeeper - Radiolab

2011-02-09T13:41:00.001Z

(function(){var s=function(){__flash__removeCallback=function(i,n){if(i)i[n]=null;};window.setTimeout(s,10);};s();})(); Radiolab Presents: The Loneliness of the Goalkeeper - Radiolab

The Dubious Goals Committee

2011-02-09T10:57:00.000Z

Oh Wikipedia, how you mock us. Tales of lazy journalists using Wiki as a hard-hitting fact are legion. I just hope and pray someone has taken this on face value: Click to enlarge Or view the original here, before they edit it

Now Digg This

2011-02-08T11:05:00.000Z

So, yeah, Beat The First Man now has a Digg account. If your immediate reaction to this is a thousand yard stare, don't worry about it. But if you are all Digg-ed up, add the BTFM account, and who knows, something magical might happen. I should say all of this was inspired by Futfanatico. He explains his logic far more eruditely than I could hope to, but if you're curious, Digg lets you "

The Best Worst Decision Yet?

2011-02-07T18:50:00.000Z

So, we've all seen the Blyth handball right? And then there's the Boston handball. Blunders, yes, but mere entrees to work of Stuart Atwell and chums at Watford. And yet, dear reader, and yet, it gets better. Behold Costa Rica ...

John Aldridge celebrates Meireles goal vs Chelsea

2011-02-07T14:26:00.000Z

To some Tranmere fans, John Aldridge (@realjohnaldo) is the greatest player to have pulled on the not-really-all-that-famous white shirt. They're wrong, for the record. That title sits with Jason Koumas. But football is all about opinions, wrong or otherwise. Anyways, Aldo's heart has always lain across the River Mersey, in the red quarter. We don't begrudge him that. As demonstrated by this

Sometime the simplest ideas are the best

2011-02-06T14:07:00.000Z

Steve Bruce Would Blow His Top.

2011-02-06T13:54:00.001Z

A couple of weeks ago, Boston got away with a rather obvious handball. It would seem such infringement-blindness is catching. Exhibit A is Saturday's game between Blyth Spartan (attacking) and Droylsden. Incidentally, Blyth Spartan spawned the greatest ever football song. By the greatest ever rock and roll band.

The Perils OF A Waterlogged Pitch

2011-02-05T11:06:00.000Z

In these times of global warming, climate change, hurricanes, seasonal snow and all that jazz, the ageless joy of balls getting bogged down en route to its intended destination is still something we all hold dear. In fact, ont he football pitch, few things can be funnier than a striker turning away in expectant jubilation, only for a muddy goalmouth to cut his celebrations short. Few things,

Jonathan Téhoué does not fear you

2011-02-02T19:54:00.000Z

I remember seeing a pic of Alan Shearer lining up in a Southampton wall during his formative years, and leaving his bits unprotected. Shearer is, of course, an idiot. Jonathon Tehoue may well be an idiot also. But I am not going to tell him.Are you?

Newcastle fan struggles with the concept of fire

2011-02-01T15:58:00.000Z

Following hot on the heels of Liverpool fans displaying their wit and wisdom, Newcastle fans try to get themselves five minutes of fame. And really shouldn't have bothered.

World's Most Forgetful Goalkeeper?

2011-01-31T14:31:00.002Z

The return of that trusty stalwart, "goalkeepers are idiots"

Whatever became of Franny Jeffers?

2011-01-31T14:19:00.000Z

Gentlemen No Swearing Please

2011-01-26T14:30:00.000Z

A lovely sign from Hallam FC's clubhousevia Footysphere's Picassa

Read This >>>

2011-01-25T10:14:00.000Z

Unintended consequences – could Financial Fair Play kill small clubs’ youth development? by @andersred

Norwich City Are Going To Hell

2011-01-25T09:16:00.002Z

Read This

2011-01-25T09:08:00.000Z

Playing by the rules? by @alansmithys

Read This

2011-01-24T12:56:00.000Z

Backwards, and in high heels. The whole sorry-arse Keys/Gray/sexism debate, sorted. Via @Twisted Blood

The Fourteenth Emergency Service

2011-01-24T12:10:00.000Z

You're writhing on the floor in agony. The paramedics speed to your aide. First class medical care is but seconds away. The instant diagnosis is that you have to be removed from the field of play. But the thought of making your own way off is too painful to indulge. All hail the stretcher bearers.