Hello, I am the mother of an official kindergartner. Two weeks ago we dropped Sadie off at school and left her there. For the whole entire day. I sniffed, and I sniffled, but I didn’t wail, and I didn’t throw myself on the ground trying to grasp at the ribbons of time as they silently slipped out of reach. No, not me. I only needed one tissue. I felt like I had a head cold the whole day, but I got through it. Sadie was nervous, but she wasn’t as torn up as me, or she hid it almost as well as I did. I only cried a little when I showed her a fabulous glittering heart on her backpack that she could touch whenever she missed her family. Only a tear or two more were shed when I showed her the cute Kiki pin from “Kiki’s Delivery Service” that I put on there to remind her to believe in herself. We were all so pleased to have her home after the first day, and even though there were reports of playing chase the boys, and maybe a pinch or shove here or there from new classmates, it sounded like the day went well.

The second day of school was in some ways harder. Simply because the shiny bright newness of school was just a bit more dull, and that 7:00 alarm was just a little less kind. After we dropped Sadie off, Olive and had some great together time, and during her nap, I actually cleaned a whole two rooms of our house! It was amazing. I mean, for three whole months, I had not had a single second to really just focus. I suddenly felt really different about school. The past weeks have been a great explosion of emotions for all of us here in this family. Sadie is getting all kinds of information about things at school. Some of it is fabulous, and some of the social stuff is mortifying. Olive is loving the mama time, and I am loving the Olive time. When Sadie comes home from school I am so happy to see her that we are spending better quality time together.

So, all in all I think I’m going to enjoy this being a mother of a school age child. What’s even better? Olive starts school in two weeks! I’m gonna have two whole mornings all to myself! I can’t even believe it. It’s like getting a peanut butter and chocolate candy bar wrapped up in the voice of Tom Waits carried straight to my door by one of those cute English actor dudes. Oh, man. It’s going to be a treat, or that’s what I keep telling myself.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lo43C9BdRGQ

www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3yvhH7AF-4

www.youtube.com/watch?v=TF1clR1WElo

Aren’t you glad I have stepped out of the abyss and shared with you?

You’re welcome very much.

(I don’t know why I am writing like English is my third rarely used language, perhaps because I have been watching David Cassidy videos on youtube and it’s 2:00 in the morning, okay?)

• I totally had like, at least eight things to put down here, but then Brett walked by and I lost my train of thought. He’s really super cute.

• I have been watching a whole lot of British television whilst I am doing my chores and I think it’s good for me. Really, really, good for me.

• Sadie starts school on Wednesday. She is going to all day kindergarten. I am pretending not to freak out. I think my eyes are going to fall out of my face, but until then, my cool exterior will not betray the turmoil hidden beneath it. Everything’s fine. Do not look at my watery eyes! Avert your gaze!

• I am sewing lots of school clothes for Sadie. She is going to a uniform school where they allow her to wear any style of clothing. The only caveat is that each article can only be one solid color out of four. Polka dots and stripes are not allowed, in fact, patterns of any type are FORBIDDEN! I have put a few tiny embellishments in, but it’s a new kind of sewing for me, for sure. I hope to post pictures soon.

• I just spent the evening accidentally making Sadie an “Annie” costume. I didn’t notice it, but apparently my subconscious did. The song “Tomorrow” was in my head for a half an hour before I figured out why. It’s still a cute dress, and I am thinking most kids are not too hip with “Annie” to get the reference. Although, the 80′s are back, right? So who knows.

• The girls both had sleep-overs with different grandparents last night. It was the first time we were without kids, um, ever. Since we have had kids. Like for FIVE YEARS. We had a nice dinner and then drove around for forty five minutes thinking of something to do. We ended up coming home to watch a BBC miniseries and fall asleep on the couch, like we do every night! Oh, well. At least we are livin’ the dream, right? I mean, we’d do the same thing whether we had kids or not. I mean, we are either so boring or so fulfilled, or both. I’m not gonna think about it too much.

• Neither Brett nor I freaked out about the kids not being at home. We were totally, seriously, not anxiety ridden. That is one giant step for neurotics everywhere! If we can do it, so can anyone!

Well. I’m off to see what’s in the ol’ netflix queue…

In college I wrote a paper for a folklore class all about the different mores and slang associated with menstruation in our current culture. I have never been one to feel embarrassed talking about my period, but I know some people are. I’m sure that part of my frankness about it is because I have had hideous periods since I started getting them. I have always had horrible cramps, sometimes to the point of vomiting, and most certainly losing a day or two of school or work or life to being stuck in the fetal position trying to remember to breathe through the pain. Maybe that’s why natural childbirth didn’t scare me at all. I’d been in training for years. I have had to explain my absences and sudden paleness and doubling over to teachers, administrators, bosses, friends, acquaintances, strangers, and even the occasional passerby. I just can’t be shy about why I have suddenly dropped down in the middle of the chip aisle and started moaning and rocking back and forth.

It is a common story that after you have babies your cramps are supposed to get better. Not only that, but it is often told that right after you give birth, if you are nursing, you are not supposed to get your period for like, months! Maybe even a year! Or more! Haha. Not if you have my super uterus. My uterus has a herculean work ethic. My period didn’t take a stinkin’ break, even though I exclusively nursed both my daughters for the first six months of their lives, and both of them nursed until they were 18 months old. Did my body decide to do what Nell Carter demanded and “Give me a Break?” Nah. Well, if you call one month a break, then yes, I don’t though. After the birth of each of my daughter’s my period was back in one cycle’s time. Were the cramps diminished? Uh, I think not. In fact, while my period pre-birthin’ days was at most seven days, but more likely five days, my cycle is currently lasting ten days. Did you read that? TEN DAYS. Luckily only two/three of them are heavy flow super pain days, but still! TEN DAYS!!

I am currently using the diva cup, because those TEN DAYS!! of bleeding and stopping it up with cotton bullets, AKA my favorite OB tampons, was getting mighty expensive. If you don’t want to click on that link, I’ll tell you, the diva cup is a menstrual cup. It is awesome and I love it. It is also rumored to lessen your cramps, but as you can probably guess, that doesn’t ring true for me. It’s nice to not have to choose between groceries or “sanitary supplies.” I have talked with medical professionals about my issues. They mostly just prescribed me painkillers, which I hate to take, because I would rather be in pain than feel like I have a giant cotton ball around my head all the time.
I am now going back to my bed to apply the only cure that actually seems to help: heat to my abdomen and hideously horrible television to my eyes.

I can’t believe all the stressing out and hair pulling and teeth gnashing I have been doing about the choice of Sadie’s school. It is has been difficult because Sadie has been put on the wait list for two out of two of the schools we were most interested in. She has been accepted to a perfectly lovely program that we are really excited about, but it doesn’t quite mesh with what we were hoping for, and that is a bit of a let down. I haven’t wanted to discuss it, because I’m sure it sounds pretty petty and crazy, but I’ve been disappointed about it, and there is not much more to say than that. I mean, I guess I could have made a whole post that said, “Waaaah. Waaaaa, waaa!” Because that’s been about the gist of my thoughts about it for the past three weeks.

We found a house that completely stole my breath away. It was so very lovely and untouched. I have so many thoughts about the gutting of perfectly lovely mid-century homes, it’s a post to come, but let me say, this was all very cherry and amazing. Alas, it was not meant to be our house, and I hope that whoever made that bid before us treats that house like the crown jewel she is, and doesn’t rip everything out and make it “tuscan” or some such shit.

So I’ve suffered a few minor disappointments, and some other things that deserve posts of their own. I don’t know why sometimes I just get all shy about my bitching. I realize that my lack of posting over the past, oh, two years or so, has whittled down the readership of this here blog to just four people, so that should really remind me to just really let loose again. I haven’t been keeping up with my lovely friends blogs either, I’ve really just been watching really REALLY bad television.

Now that it’s summer I can unleash the girls in the yard and actually sit for a moment to share some thoughts, so… here’s to the like, one millionth pep talk to myself to start writing again!

Here are my ladies in their room. Olive got a big girl bed for her second birthday a few weeks ago. She loves it! We had to change around the furniture in their room, which is always a fun thing. It’s like getting all new stuff. I do love rearranging furniture, and it looks like the girls appreciate it too.

I was just reading this article (found through lots of sources, I don’t remember the first place I saw it), about couch cushion architecture. I LOVED making forts with couch cushions, not so much for the fort appeal, but because I liked decorating the inside of them! Big surprise, right? My dad had this little black and white TV and I remember getting to take it inside our cushion forts at his house. I loved outfitting forts with dishes and radios, pillow couches and arm chairs. I guess I have always loved making a space homey.

Now that I have my own home, I still love pulling all the elements together to make a secret reading spot, or a comfy corner. I guess some things never change.