I’m pretty excited about this and I’ve put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into this but my new book: How to be More Confident: Improve Self-Esteem and Start Living a Happier Life is finally published and available through Amazon.com!

The book compiles all the lessons, observations and tips I’ve learned over the years in overcoming low self-esteem and building self-confidence.

Presently, the book is only available through Amazon.com and in Kindle (eBook) format only. However, you don’t need to own a Kindle or ebook reader to access the book.

Amazon also offers their free Kindle for PC (or MAC) software for free which you get here. So, you too can read the book without a Kindle or ebook reader, just read it on your computer!

Get it here:

I had pretty severe acne problems when I was teen. No matter what cleaning regimen I did, it just wouldn’t go away. Not to mention all the hideous scars. I had tried:

• Washing with acne cleansers
• Adjusting my diet – that can only went so far
• Tried not to touch my acne with my hands (or at least with clean hands)

Finally, it got to a point where I had to see a dermatologist (a skin specialist). The doctor ended up prescribing a strong drug regimen. I don’t recall the name of the drug he gave me. I do remember it was an oral drug. I had to take it regularly and there were some side effects such as drying of the skin and some other side effects that had to be monitored but weren’t too serious (for me at anyways).

When I completed the drug regimen, my severe acne had gone away completely. If you looked at my face now, you would never have known that I had such a severe acne problem.

This kind of drug regimen can help with severe acne problems, even make a pimple-faced teen become a beauty queen contestant.

Here’s the thing, if you have severe acne problems, ALWAYS see a dermatologist first (you may need to see your GP to get a referral). If the dermatologist finds that a drug regimen is the answer, then you may consider it. It happened to work for me but it may not work for everyone. And don’t take any drugs on your own. See a specialist for help.

If you don’t want to go this route, you can also learn about other holistic acne cures such as:

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Here at BSE, we love Lady Gaga! Not just for her music but for her generosity and appreciation of her fans and her social efforts.

It’s great to see that Lady Gaga, her mother and help from Harvard Graduate School of Education, Harvard’s Berkman Center for Internet & Society, the California Endowment, and the John D. & Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation are launching an anti-bullying foundation called Born This Way Foundation.

The foundation will focus on web anti-bullying. This is great news especially with recent sad news of suicides due to web bullying.

It’s great to see bullying receive more attention and gaining support from celebrities.

Zooey Deschanel

Does this face look like someone that would be bullied? I hope not. But alas, even Zooey Deschanel (one of the hottest actresses on screen right now), wasn’t immune to being bullied when she was growing up.

There are a few things we can learn from Zooey today:

1. Bullying affects many people. I want you to know that you are not alone in this. If Hollywood starlets were bullied when they were growing up, nobody is really immune
2. Even if you are bullied as a child, you can grow up to achieve so much with your life
3. Don’t give in to being like everyone else – it can pay to be yourself

Let’s face it, kids may be cruel.

Growing up you always have the “cool” kids group, “average” kids group and the “geeky/nerdy” kids group.

I fell in the “geeky/nerdy” group growing up.

However, I want you all you “ugly ducklings” out there in the “geeky/nerdy” group to know something, you’re not alone and you won’t always be.

I like to think of it as being a late bloomer.

This recent article in the DailyMail (my favourite guilty pleasure reading…) reminds us all that just because you’re an ugly duckling when you’re a kid doesn’t mean that that is the life you are destined for when you grow up.

So, all you ugly ducklings out there, hold your head high and stop looking at your feet. You WILL become something.

Here’s a video of “Queen Bees and Wannabees” author, Rosalind Wiseman answering some questions about bullying:

Beating Bullying

To learn how to improve your childrens’ self-esteem can involve a lot of different aspects, this is part 1 in a series of articles focused on helping you imrove your child’s self-esteem.

You child comes home with their report card and reluctantly passes it over to you. You already have a bad feeling in your stomach about what you’re about to see.

Just as you suspected, columns full of C’s and D’s.

Why can’t your child get better grades?

Your sister’s daughter, Nancy, is getting straight A’s. Why can’t your child do the same? You’re getting tired of being asked how your child’s doing in school and being seen as a bad parent because your child is doing poorly in school.

The frustration just makes your blood boil. You lose it.

You yell, “Why can’t you be more like your cousin Nancy!? She gets good grades, why can’t you?”

When you say that, do you know what’s going through your child’s brain? Do you know what she’s feeling at that moment?

At that moment, your child is thinking “I’m not good enough for you.” “I’m not worthy and I’m not as good as Nancy – I’m a lesser being than Nancy because she gets higher grades.”

Most likely your child won’t say anything. She’ll just go off and think that she is the one at fault and that she is not good enough. She won’t know what to do about it.

Each child is different. In fact, each person is different. So, comparing one child to another is like comparing apples to oranges.

Don’t compare children to others – “Why can’t you be more like John/Nancy?” is never a good way of changing your child’s behavior or magically turning them into someone else. What you’re doing by saying that is that “you’re not good enough, why can’t you be this person instead of you?”

You may not mean it – but that’s what you’re communicating in your message.

So what do you do?

First, be aware of not comparing your child to other children.

Acknowledge and agree with your child that there is a problem but it can be resolved.

Help your child find a solution to the problem. They are looking to you for guidance even though they may not voice it. You are the parent, so you must take the initiative to help them.

While we can’t go in-depth on how to improve your child’s self-esteem in one article, we’ll be continuing to look at this topic in future articles.

Do you hate public speaking? I know I do.

You can’t sleep the night before, you get jittery, your stomach acts up and you generally feel miserable when you know you have to speak in public.

If you’re a shy and introverted person, that makes things worse. Knowing that, you keep thinking everyone’s going to think you’re such a boring speaker.

That’s how I used to feel too. I still get nervous (that’s normal for everyone I’ve found) but now I can handle it better AND give a decent performance when I have to speak in public or give a presentation.

Here’s what I’ve learned, maybe these tips will help you too:

1. Be aware of your breathing. When you get nervous, your breathing tends to become shallow and quick. Slow down your breathing and breathe deeply from your stomach.Here’s how: breathe deeply by inflating your stomach as you breathe in (not inflating your chest). Then deflate your stomach (pretend it’s a balloon and you’re pushing all the air out) as your exhale. Do this slowly.
2. Unclench your teeth and jaw. Similar to the shallow breathing, when you get nervous, you tend to clench your teeth and your jaw. Be aware of that and relax your jaw and unclench your teeth.
3. Practice, practice, practice. I feel more comfortable and confident about what I’m going to say when I’ve practiced the speech over and over again so that I don’t get overwhelmed on stage.
4. Don’t read to your audience – speak to them. In school, I used to write the entire speech or presentation out word for word and then I would stand up on stage and read it out word for word.That’s extremely boring (for your audience and you). Now, I use keywords or Q-cards to remind me of the bigger topic that I need to talk about.

   This makes sure that I’m looking at my audience and I use my own words and it makes it like I’m having a conversation with them which makes for a far better and memorable presentation.

5. Involve the audience. Sitting in a room full of hundreds of people listening to one person talk is boring. That’s for university and college. If you want to be memorable and deliver a good presentation, involve the audience. Ask questions. Ask for opinions. Ask for sharing.

Hopefully, these five tips will help you deal better with your nerves when it comes to public speaking and help you deliver a more memorable presentation.

Are you shy? An introvert? Do you feel like an invisible person in social situations?

Does it feel like the general non-introverted population think that if you’re shy and introverted, you won’t amount to anything or you’ll be relegated to working in some corner office or cubicle completely un-noticed and overlooked?

Welcome to the club.

But, boy, do I have some uplifting news for you!

A recent article in USA Today (read the full article here as reported by Yahoo) talks about how it’s a misconception that extroverted CEO’s are more capable than CEO’s that are introverted.

I think this article brings to light something introverts like us around the world knew all along: we aren’t useless or unskilled or unworthy of making it to the top – we’re just less flashy about it.

So, for all you introverts out there, be proud of it and keep this in mind, the article mentions some of the positive aspects of being introverted:

• Being introverted may be considered a trait of wisdom
• Extroverted CEO’s did not have any increased benefit or impact on a company compared to an introverted CEO

Not only that, but just look at the company introverts keep:

• Bill Gates
• Warren Buffett
• Charles Schwab
• Steven Spielberg

That’s a nice club to belong to.

So, don’t feel bad about yourself if you’re shy and introverted – just accept it. That’s who you are. That’s who we all are.

And obviously, it’s NOT such a hindrance to being successful at all.

So, go and sit in a corner by yourself and read a book and enjoy yourself knowing that you’re life isn’t destined to be a dead-end just because you’re an introvert.

Go and be anti-social without feeling guilty.

What’s your fear? Is it fear of being laughed at in front of a large crowd? Is it fear of being rejected?

I’ll tell you what my fears were (still are):

• Fear of being humiliated, laughed at in front of a crowd
• I fear being rejected by friends, family and new people I meet

The difference between me now and me 15 years ago is that I can manage these fears much better. And that’s what I want to teach you too.

Low self-esteem is a direct result of a fear. Just like the ones I mentioned above.

So, it occurred to me that being able to manage these fears (it’s much easier to try to manage than to strictly overcome them) and ultimately to overcome these fears was the best solution.

Let’s take fear of being laughed at or humiliated in front of crowd. I hated (still do) speaking in public or making a presentation in front of a class or a crowd.

But I saw how the crowd warmed to the ones who made a great presentation and broke it down to see how I could replicate the attributes of what made that presentation so well received.

I found that:

1. Shouldn’t read directly off a sheet of paper. Talking to the crowd as if I was having a conversation with a friend was best.
2. Talk slowly and clearly. Your instinct may be to talk as fast as you can to get it over with quickly but that will just lead to a poor presentation and ultimately a bad impression with your audience
3. Involve the audience

Now, this list isn’t a comprehensive list but you get the idea.

Building confidence and boosting your self-esteem is about taking on your fears and learning how to deal with them – not avoiding your fears. Avoiding your fears just leads to continued low self-esteem.

I can tell you that the hardest part is just taking that firs step in learning how to manage your fears.

If you want to learn in detail how to boost your self-esteem by managing your fears, you’ll be interested in my guide “Boost your Self-Esteem” which details the system I use and developed to manage my fears and boost self-esteem and self-confidence.