Jonathan Winters in “It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World”

The funeral for my friend, Stanley, is tomorrow morning at 10am. It remains to be seen if this strategy works. I’ll let you know.

10. Watch “It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.” Twice.

9. Look at cartoons of Ballard Street and Herman…almost constantly.

8. Watch the Bathroom Sessions with Ed and Steven (yes, it can make you sad that they parted, but still…)

7. Listen to recordings of Hudson & Landry, especially “The Prospectors.”

6. Watch episodes of The Andy Griffith Show, especially episodes with the Darlings.

5. Go to the gym more often and stay longer.

4. Watch Stanley Cup hockey, even though your best friend’s name was Stanley. He’d appreciate the irony.

3. Re-read Bill Bryson’s “The Life And Times Of The Thunderbolt Kid.”

2. Watch Mark Knopfler play the guitar.

1. Pray often. Followed by another one that’s important to me, reading the Scriptures.

I’ll be back, Lord willing, in a few weeks. In the meantime, enjoy the Saturday’s Smiles. We all need them. Smiles, that is.

P.S. Thought I’d leave you with a Wednesday smile since every midway point of a week could likely use a smile.

Does every story have a moral? I’m supposing they do, but I’m not going to promise you that this story has one. If it does, I’m going to leave it to you to figure it out. I’m simply telling the story because it was the pivot point for this current hiatus. It wasn’t the only thing, but it was the thing.

It’s a story of friendship that lasts a lifetime…and beyond when you believe in eternity. I do believe in eternity. So does my lifelong friend. In brief, this is our story.

…………………………………………………..

“We’ll be Friends Forever, won’t we, Pooh?” asked Piglet. “Even longer,” Pooh answered.  - Winnie-the-Pooh

Randy, Lexie (Randy’s sister), Joni (Stan’s sister) and Stanley in Ada

We were born about a month apart 56 years ago.

Our parents were, and still are, friends.

He and I were little boys together. Friends before we entered school.

We went to church together. We played together.

And we were very different, but the same.

He was slight. I was husky.He read comics. I played with Matchbox cars. He was fair. I was tanned.

Humor bound us. We laughed at the same stuff. We got the same jokes. We had fun when we were together.

For all our differences, they were never an issue. Laughter was strong enough to override everything else. That’s where it began. For both of us.

Without effort we had some innate ability to crack each other up. As funny as each of us believed ourselves to be, I suspect neither of us was as funny apart as we were together. I’m sure our parents were happy there were only two of us. One more and we’d have been stooges.

Picture two pre-school age boys sitting on the front pew during a church service. It’s the early 1960′s and the custom of the men in the church was to kneel during prayer. As little boys, we followed suit. Both knees on the floor, elbows on the pew seat and our faces in our hands. Well, at least my face was in my hands.

I hadn’t yet developed sufficient discipline or focus in public worship to avoid taking a peek. It had happened enough times I fully knew what to expect. I even knew I’d laugh. Out loud. And get thumped on the top of my head by my mother who sat directly behind us in the second pew. Still, I looked. Over at him.

Both knees on the floor, just like me. But elbows and hands weren’t in the same position as me. Each little finger would be inserted into a respective nostril. Each thumb would be pulling on either side of his mouth. Each pointer finger would be pulling down the skin directly below his eyes. And his tongue would be sticking out.

I laughed every time. He banked on it.

My mom popped me every time. I banked on it.

It was worth it.

That’s our relationship. Sometimes he was making faces at me. Sometimes I was making faces at him. Either way, we enjoyed it. It never mattered who sparked it. All that mattered was it got going…and that the other guy keep it going. It was the virtual tennis match that became our lives together. A constant volley of snarkiness, fun and laughter.

It wasn’t all laughter. We had serious moments. Quite a few of them actually. Nobody else on the planet heard the seriousness of our concerns or worries. We told each other. We leaned on each other. We knew when we peeked through the troubles we each held in our hands what we’d see. The other one doing something – saying something – that would make us laugh, and feel better. It worked every time.

In time, while we were still in elementary school, my family moved away. Our friendship continued, but we were now separated by time and distance. It wasn’t quite the same because it wasn’t as frequent. We were used to seeing other every week. Multiple times a week.

It didn’t curb our enthusiasm for each other. Or our fun. When we saw each other we picked up as though we had never been apart. It was easy. Natural. We grew older and endured those tween years where boys are stuck between being little boys and men. Those weren’t much fun, but we laughed our way through them.

Soon we were driving. And dating. We were more than friends. We were brethren who shared more than laughs, we shared a Faith. It was common for us to see each other at church meetings during the New Year holiday, or the 4th of July, or Thanksgiving or Labor Day. It usually involved sharing a motel room, sometimes with a few other buddies.

It often involved double-dating resulting in even more laughter. Throw girls in the mix and that just expanded our audience. A bigger audience means more people laughing. I’m not sure the girls always had fun, but we sure did. Come to think of it, I’m pretty sure the girls did have fun. Maybe they were just laughing at us, not with us. We didn’t mind.

Fast forward through the years. We’re both married. With children. Our children grown up. Life presses hard against us both. In different ways.

I’m in north central Texas. He’s in southwest Missouri. It’s not like we’re a nation apart, but we are hours apart.

The complexity of life creates a resistance you don’t have when you’re young. It’s weird, too. When we were kids we knew we had no power to do anything about our desire to see each other. We were both at the mercy of our parents. Now that we were grown and had greater control over our schedule and choices, we found it even more vexing that we couldn’t figure out ways to spend more time face-to-face.

No matter. The phone or a good Skype call would always suffice. And it would be just like we were in the same room together. Every single time. No wasted time in pleasantries. We just picked right up and started out like sprinters exploding from the blocks. Unlike sprinters, we never got winded.

“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. “Pooh?” he whispered. 

“Yes, Piglet?”

“Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s hand. “I just wanted to be sure of you.”

- Winnie-the-Pooh

We never went too long without being sure of each other. Especially when difficult times came. And they did. Troubles and challenges were just as certain as our laughter.

Jobs. Careers. Relationships. Kids. Finances. Every life encounters tough moments. Some pass quickly without much fanfare. Others linger like a cold front that just won’t blow through. We each had our share.

Still, nothing changed. We picked up and went right on like we always had. Laughing mostly. Making sure if one of us had our toes dangling off the ledge that the other one was safely on solid ground pulling the other back inside where it was safe. It was an unspoken rule that had defined our friendship. We would not both be down at the same time.

Until a problem we never saw coming hit us. And made our knees buckle. Those same knees two little boys bowed in church services about 50 years ago now.

My wife and I were sitting in a hospital waiting room. Two events we’re happening, almost simultaneously. My father was having a knee replacement surgery. He was in surgery.

A few minutes away my daughter was awaiting delivery of her second child, our second grandson. She would enter a different hospital the next day.

My phone rang. It was him. My lifelong friend. The other half of my stoogery.

I pace when I’m on the phone. I left the waiting room and knew instantly that this wasn’t going to be like any other conversation we’d ever had. I already knew he had “had a spell” the day before, while he was about an hour from home. Church folks had made him go to the hospital. He had fainted or something. I was worried, but not overly so. We both knew something wasn’t right. We just didn’t know what it was.

“They’ve found a tumor,” he said.

Can a person’s heart really – literally – stop? If it’s possible, mine did.

“In my head,” he continued. I have no idea what else he said because my hearing went dark. I leaned on a brick wall, bent my forehead toward the brick and wept. I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t help it. I knew I was breaking our unwritten rule. His toes were dangling off the ledge and here I was not helping at all! It didn’t matter. I had no control.

I remember telling him how much I loved him. Oh, did I not already tell you how comfortable we were doing that? Or how comfortable we were hugging each other good-bye? Yep, that, too.

He stuck by our rule. Except now he climbed off the ledge back onto solid ground and began to assure me he’d be fine. He’s laying in a hospital bed and I’m hours away with my face buried in a brick wall, unable to see through the stream of tears. And he’s telling me it’s going to be okay.

I remember assuring him, “You know I’d be there if Renae (my daughter) weren’t about to deliver a child.” Of course, he knew. I reiterated it any way.

My father came through surgery fine. My daughter delivered via C-section another healthy son. It’s all foggy to me now though. The entire sequence of events is impossible for me to remember. It was serious and I was dazed like a fighter who had taken a sharp upper cut.

He would go through cyber-knife surgery, some new technology that sounded ideal for his situation. The risks were enormous. My friend, a person who taught music, sang and played music. Would he be able to speak? Play his guitar? Or his mandolin? Would he ever sing again? So many questions and fears.

“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.”   - Winnie-the-Pooh

Surgery went well. Perhaps better than expected. No guarantees that they got all of the tumor though. In fact, they were pretty confident they didn’t. But they got most of it. Precise radiation treatment would treat whatever remained.

Anti-seizure medicine would be a stable for him from now on. A small price to pay.

For a few years things went well. Regular doctor visits elevated our anxiety, but most of them proved he was on the mend.

Until they didn’t.

Something showed up. Scar tissue? A new growth? Hard to tell.

Then there was a spell. And another. Doctors thought it might be necrosis. Steroids were the prescribed treatment.

While moving a piano, it dropped on his leg and the injury was severe. Badly bruised and swollen, something was triggered in his body. It wasn’t good. I’m not a doctor so I don’t know exactly what it was, but the end result was infection. His health went into a spiral.

Months rolled by. His mind growing increasingly foggier. His personality slipping away.

I noticed it for the first time sometime in early 2012. Over the year it steadily grew worse. By the end of 2012 it was evident that his brain wasn’t functioning as the proper carrier of his personality. Conversations ensued that didn’t sound like him. His voice even changed. The tone and inflection was different.

He would call me. I would call him. He knew me. He knew he loved me. He knew I loved him. We always told each other. But he wasn’t quite right. I never sensed that he knew it. And I never said anything, but I did patronize him. What else could I do? What else should I do? I played along. Figuring that was the right thing to do. I don’t regret that decision.

He was falling. Often. Mobility eventually became nearly impossible. He went into the hospital, then an extended care facility.

At the beginning of 2013 our conversations stopped. Altogether. No way to reach him really. And I knew the buddy I had long known was really gone.

I thought of him daily, but tried not to dwell on what might have been. But it was hard. Very hard.

What if this brain tumor hadn’t happened?

What if our lives had taken slightly different turns?

When you’ve been buddies since you were children – little children – it’s impossible to stop the memories. The movie that plays in your head is extraordinarily long when you’ve know each other all your lives…and now you’re both 56. Yep, he turned 56 in April. I turned 56. Just this week.

For over a week he was in a Missouri hospital’s ICU. Double pneumonia, staph infection, sepsis and more. He had been put on a respirator when he was admitted. Doctors informed his family that they don’t want to leave anybody on a respirator over 2 weeks. So on Tuesday, May 7th, my birthday, late in the afternoon, they removed the respirator.

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”  – Winnie-the-Pooh

I recorded this podcast on Thursday, May 9th. At the time of the recording, my friend is out of ICU (but only because that’s the protocol for his condition). It’s those long, arduous hours of waiting. Watching. Anticipating.

My heart is broken. Melancholy has been constant companion for almost 2 weeks now. I have jettisoned all but one client – a close friend. I can no longer be bothered with business…not as my lifelong friend lay dying.

Since I was about 16 I’ve devoted my professional life to business. That’s 40 years of devotion to a craft, an area of pursuit that ruled my professional life. I don’t care who claims to have a firm grip on balance, your professional life mixes in with your personal life. It can’t be helped. Sometimes it overlaps slightly. Other times it completely overruns it. I’ve experienced it every which sort of way.

Today’s podcast, and these shownotes, are merely an expression about what matters more to me than business, or making money, or building an empire, or gaining followers. It’s a pivotal time in my life and in the life of my friend. Knowing each other has changed us both. Forever. Knowing his battles in recent years is changing me now. His friendship has been, and will continue to be, a tipping point for me.

So let the hiatus begin. Know that I’m not doing this as a knee-jerk reaction. I’m much more strategic than that. I plan. I ponder. Yes, the defining moment – the moment of decision – came within hours, but I had been planning a change of some sort for a good while.

I’m saddened that as my best friend lay dying I came to greater clarity, but I don’t suppose we can’t always control the impetus for clarity. We just have to accept it when it comes. I have accepted the clarity. That’s much easier to accept than the fact that my friend is slipping away.

I’ll leave you with a few words that have preoccupied my thoughts for too long now…

Creativity

Communication

Connecting

Impactful

Memorable

Significance

And a few words that I’m growing increasingly weary with…

Marketing

Sales

Profits

Finances

Management

Revenues

Income

The pivot is clear in my mind, but now begins the heavy labor involved in taking an idea in my head and seeing if I can’t make it come alive.

Somebody asked me, “Are you reinventing yourself?” I thought only for a few seconds and said, “No, I don’t think so. I think I’m finally taking the time to figure out who I am really am – and probably who I’ve been all along. The problem was, my successful career got in the way for about 40 years! Now that that’s over, I can get busy with my real work.” I realized that I was smiling at the time.

“I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart for so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can be together all the time.” - Winnie-the-Pooh

Epilogue

Get Inside The Yellow Studio and I’ll keep you updated. If you’re saying “good-bye” because of my decision, then farewell. I wish you well.

I’m not yet prepared to tell you how things will proceed here at BulaNetwork.com. That’s the reason for the hiatus. I can tell you that content like this will happen over at LeaningTowardWisdom.com. I intend to keep talking about things I think are vital to human endeavor over there. That may mean some business stuff, career stuff, but mostly it’ll be life lessons, personal growth, being productive, having proper priorities and whatever else encompasses our individual and collective progress as we all attempt to lean more toward wisdom! I don’t plan on this hiatus stopping me from moving forward to relaunch Leaning Toward Wisdom.

I started Leaning Toward Wisdom in February, 2005. It’s gone through a few changes. This will be a complete relaunch and rebranding. It will be interviews and personal insights in keeping with the title. Few things matter more to me than my own quest to lean more toward wisdom, and away from foolishness. It’s not a universal quest, but there are plenty of people who also want to lean toward wisdom. Together, I hope we can help each other.

“Some people care too much. I think it’s called love.”  - Winnie-The-Pooh

…………………………………………………..

Stanley James Elmore was born on April 11, 1957. He passed in the early morning hours of May 12, 2013.
I loved him very much.

Stanley playing. I’m sure it was either a bluegrass or country song.

Ronny Wade, Stan Elmore and Randy at a gospel meeting in Springfield, MO

We have to fend off sadness or it will swallow us.

Melancholy

Noun: A deep, pensive, and long-lasting sadness.

Adjective: Sad, gloomy, or depressed.

How long is long-lasting? From my experience, it’s always too long. But I can be given to feeling melancholy.

A friend recently described his own family as being prone to feeling blue. Instantly, I could relate.

Amazement is the only word to describe my feelings toward people able to remain upbeat under the saddest circumstances.

When I was younger I was more stoic, but even as a child I was prone to bouts of melancholy. It might be something others thought stupid. Like the time a distant cousin took shots at a turtle in the yard with his BB gun. Shooting it repeatedly in the head until he made sure it was dead. The cruelty of it overwhelmed me. I didn’t cry, but later when he got some old boxing gloves out and wanted to box – I bloodied his nose.

Maybe that’s a key to overcoming melancholy – physical exertion or aggression. Surely not, but when I was a kid and boxing gloves were around, it was a viable option.

Melancholy has value I think, but I also think it can become too close of a friend. A friend unworthy of our love or kindness.

Let’s be clear. I’m not talking about depression, at least not in the clinical sense. That’s a very different malady.

I’m talking about feeling blue. It can range from momentary feelings of sadness to hours, maybe days, spent feeling sorrow or even heartbroken.

Music has almost always been part of my melancholy. Not a cause and effect part, but the music in my life has often been chosen because of my mood. I confess that I rarely select music to jolt me from my melancholy mood. No, I usually embrace it and feed it the sounds that seem most fitting.

John Prine’s 1971 debut album

I was 15 when I first heard John Prine. There were many things for me to love about him. For starters, he wrote some great pensive, sad songs (Hello In There, Sam Stone). But he also wrote some sarcastic, snarky songs, too (Illegal Smile).

As I look at the sounds of melancholy in my life some of my favorite records of all time are steeped in sadness. In fact, one of my all-time favorites is a record by Jackson Browne, Late For The Sky. The title track and Fountain of Sorrow have been lifelong favorites.

For me, the lyrics, the story and the melody are integral components of the sounds of melancholy. Nobody typifies them better than Prine and Browne.

Money isn’t the only measurement of profit.

Setbacks. Disappointments.

Business disappointments are not unlike other disappointments. They range in severity from devastating to annoying.

We all have them, but there are two kinds of disappointments that sting the most: the ones we didn’t see coming and the ones that represent the enemy of something we really wanted.

The more personal the disappointment, the more it hurts.

Disappointment doesn’t care who you are or how much power you’ve got. It doesn’t knock. It just blows the door off the hinges, comes right in and camps out where you can avoid it. It may hit people a bit differently, but it hits everybody. Sometime.

Disappointments can be sometimes be measured in time, distance, money, impact and recovery.

Time.

I remember the day the phone rang. It was the worst kind of setback. A death. Of our founder. He was only 32. I was in my 20′s. His life was gone. Mine was changed.

We thought we had more time to build more stores. To grow our business. Together.

We were wrong. Time ran out and there wasn’t anything we could do.

Distance.

When my children were quite small I found myself mired in a bad circumstance. We lived in one city, but I was working in a different city. The real estate market was pitiful at the time and we had to live apart through the week, looking forward to very short weekends together. It was painful disappointment.

I hated it, but like so many disappointments in our lives, I had to endure it until I could figure out some solution. Disappointments wouldn’t be so bad if you could fix them…and quickly. It’s not always possible.

Money.

Missed sales goals. Lost bonuses. Frozen compensation. Increased insurance premiums. Elevated lease rates. Money disappointments are endless.

Because business is all about generating sufficient profits to sustain the enterprise, money tends to be the end-all, be-all. Most of us measure success or failure with a dollar sign.

An advertising campaign that we felt sure about falls flat. A landlord tells us the lease renewal demands a 20% increase. Our insurance rep informs us that workman’s comp insurance is going up 15%. Meanwhile, our profit margins are stretched because vendors aren’t taking less, but customers are giving us less. It’s the ying and yang of business. The push/pull tug of war that every business owner or leader feels constantly.

Impact.

When a founder dies in an automobile accident the impact is sudden, unexpected and irreversible. Depending on the size of the business, it can be vast, too. Vendors, financial partners, suppliers, employees – everybody hurts.

Some business disappointments impact us in the moment, but it’s more like ripping a Band Aid off a scab. Painful at first, but it’s over before you know it.

Recovery.

Recovery is tied to impact. The more severe the impact, the more difficult the recovery. The lower the impact, the quicker (and easier) the recovery.

A devastating blow might just do you in. Failure to meet payroll can be deadly. Failure to meet payroll habitually is sure death.

So with all these facets of disappointments and with all the varying degrees of disappointment, how can we possibly find profit in them?

Can we always find profit in them?

I think so.

That’s literally the bottom line for today’s show…finding ways to profit from our disappointments and setbacks. That’s what I intend to do by tapping the brakes for just a bit. Lord willing, I’ll be back soon. Recharged. Refreshed. Reenergized.

Be safe. Take care of yourself. Take care of business. I’ll be talking you soon with one more pre-hiatus episode.

Subscribe to the podcast

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If you have a chance, please leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes by clicking Review on iTunes. It’ll help the show rank better in iTunes.

Thank you!

One A Day vitamins were introduced in 1940.

It’s hard to believe that One-A-Day vitamins are older than me. Miles Labs introduced them in 1940, making them 73 years old.

I’ve been a customer and I know the value of taking daily vitamins.

But vitamins and podcast content aren’t the same thing. Podcasts are so much more valuable.

I am not being critical of anybody who releases an episode a day, or multiple episodes a week. While I’ve never done a daily podcast, I have been known to release up to 3 in a single week.

I have no idea how people do a daily podcast. The sheer grind of that would depress me to no end.

I have no idea how people consume daily podcasts either. I’ve tried to keep up with a few, but in short order I’ve declared podcast-listener-bankruptcy and given up. I don’t subscribe to any daily podcasts.

Sometimes I’m asked by people who want to start a podcast, “How often should I post a new episode?”

I usually tell them, “As often as you want. Just try to be consistent.”

People get hung up on making sure everything they do is perfect or highly valuable. The other day I heard a guy say the path to success is to “be awesome.” Well, there you go. Be awesome!

Easier said than done. Truth is, I don’t know anybody who is always awesome. And I don’t believe that everything you create must be awesome!

I’d like to challenge you to consider something about content. All kinds of content. Audio. Video. Blog posts. Books. Magazine articles. Anything.

How often do you experience content that is profound?

Permit me to define profound very simply. Let’s assume that profound is something that you remember a month later. A podcast you remember a month after you heard it. A video you remember a month after you watched it. A book you read and remember a month later. A magazine article you read and remember a month later.

My guess is, there aren’t many pieces of content that you remember a month later. Most of the stuff we consume is consumed and forgotten. And when you think about it, that’s how it has to be…otherwise, our heads would explode.

Profound really deserves a better definition though. How ’bout we ramp it up and say that something is profound if it changes our life?

Do you consume content that changes your life on a regular basis? 

Spiritual alert.

I do, but it’s only one book. The Bible.

Nothing else I consume regularly has a profound impact on my life. Nothing.

Does that mean it’s not worth consuming? No. It just means profound (life changing) is a very high standard to meet.

As content creators, I don’t mean that we shouldn’t aim for profound. I just mean we shouldn’t avoid creating content unless it’s profound because profound is really difficult to achieve.

Contradiction alert.

The more you produce the more likely you can create something profound. I believe that (mostly). That’s not always true, but I believe it’s mostly true.

In 1972 a guy named Willis Alan Ramsey released a critically acclaimed record. I wore out two copies of this record when it was vinyl.

It was a one and done deal. To my knowledge he didn’t produce anything before that record, or after. Come on, we all know how rare that is! It’s crazy.

Ramsey was (is) an exceptional talent. Or, maybe when your first content is so spectacularly well received you just call it a day. Maybe if you hit a home run at your first “at bat” you earn enough money to ride it out.

I don’t know if that’s true for Ramsey or not. I love this record and still listen to it regularly.  I saw Willis live in concert a lot while I was in college so I’m an avid fan. Bewildered perhaps, but still a fan.

Willis Alan Ramsey is not typical.

For every hit song most artists likely have written countless others that weren’t even worthy of being recorded. It’s just how the odds work.

Profound is extraordinary. Everything else is…well, ordinary.

Can you produce profound content without producing the ordinary content? Not likely.

For one thing, you won’t likely be able to predict or even recognize profound. How many times have we read or heard interviews with musicians who vowed they thought a song would be a hit, only to realize that another song – one they thought would never make it – turned out to be “the one.” Predicting hits is as difficult as predicting what content will be profound.

Bloggers and podcast producers often comment how something they produced that they thought was awful turned out to be among their most popular stuff. You just never know what will resonate or catch fire.

For another thing, there’s the proficiency issue. People can argue all they want about perfect practice making perfect, but there’s real truth to practice making perfect. Unless you’re a moron, you’ll figure out how to improve your practice. You’ll ask others who know more than you. You’ll observe what others are doing. You’ll stick with it and work at it. And over time, you’ll improve.

Will you be able to produce something profound?

Maybe not. There are so many other elements involved. Like talent. Uniqueness. Opportunity. Luck.

Here’s what I believe – the more you stick with it and the more you produce the more likely you are to figure out how to produce something profound. Yes, I think quantity matters.

Whatever you do, do it a lot. Do it as often as you can.

Will it be too much?

Maybe. Maybe you’ll find that you’re producing more content than you can sustain. Fine. Step back and figure out a pace that you can sustain. Be consistent.

Maybe you’ll find that you’re wearing people out with more content than they can stomach. Fine. Step back and stop blitzing people. Slow it down in hopes you can become more attractive.

That might mean you still write, video, shoot photos or record audio as much as you’d like…you just don’t put it all out there for public consumption.

But what if the one you don’t release is the one that might be your hit?

What if Willis Alan Ramsey hadn’t released his 1972 record? It would be the world’s (and his) loss. That’s what.

Besides, how many songs have you listened to that you quickly forgot? See, we all have amnesia when it comes to most content – good or bad. So I say, produce all the content you want. Stick with it. Grow, get better and don’t be afraid of producing too much. Or not enough.

Quit worrying about everything you do being profound or remarkable.

Even a blind pig can find a truffle every now and then.

Surely you’re smarter than a blind pig.

Me? I’m working on it. Being smarter than a blind pig that is.

Subscribe to the podcast

To subscribe, please use the links below:

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If you have a chance, please leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes by clicking Review on iTunes. It’ll help the show rank better in iTunes.

Thank you!

I needed $1.25 to pay the toll, but I didn’t have it.

I was following people in another car. We were headed to a gentleman’s office. It was business.

I didn’t know a toll road was involved, but I was faithfully following along in my own car. Alone.

As we entered the toll road I was desperately looking for signs to tell me how much the toll might be. Why?

Because I was broke.

I didn’t have a single dollar on me.

Panicked, I opened the center console hoping to find some loose change. I did. Just not enough. Not nearly enough.

45 cents. I wasn’t even half way there.

I couldn’t pull the car over to the shoulder and scour under the seat cushions or the floor board for more money because I was following another car. I certainly wasn’t going to let them know my situation.

I felt sick at my stomach. How in the world had I gotten to this point? What sort of horrible decisions had I committed to drag me down this low?

Today’s show is about coping with despair, defeat and the bewilderment of wondering, “Will I ever escape this?”

If you’re feeling down and out, this show is for you. If you’re feeling all alone, this show is for you. If you’ve ever felt like you couldn’t fall any farther, this show is for you.

Okay, you’re right – today’s show is for EVERYBODY because this is a universal experience!

Hang tough.

We all need to be more like Patsy I suppose whenever we’re facing an important decision. Today, I’m thinking of business or career choices. The decision to take one job over another. The decision to launch this business or that business.

Weighing opportunities isn’t easy work. It can be agonizing, especially if we’ve got lots of input telling us what to do.

Well meaning friends and family urge us in a specific direction adding to the pressure. Instead of things becoming more clear, they often get murkier as we try to figure out our best choice!

Historically, I have engaged 3 questions to help me. Let’s see if these three things help you. I’d love to know what questions you ask to help you making important decisions.

1. What’s the worst thing that can happen?
2. What’s the best thing that can happen?
3. What feels right?

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V is for Victory

Today’s show was sparked by a sporting incident. A major league baseball incident. Ironic since I’m not a baseball fan at all.

LA Dodgers pitcher Zack Greinke threw a 3-2 pitch in a one-run game that hit the shoulder of the batter, Carlos Quentin. A bench-clearing brawl ensued resulting in a broken collar bone for the pitcher, Greinke.

Dodgers’ manager, Don Mattingly, was furious. ”That’s just stupid is what it is,” Mattingly said. “He should not play a game until Greinke can pitch. If he plays before Greinke pitches, something’s wrong. He caused the whole thing. Nothing happens if he goes to first base.”

I immediately thought of teams I’d coached, both in sports and in business. I loved them.

Mattingly loves his team. Every good leader does. He stood up for “his guy.” As you’d expect.

I loved my team. Still do.

Years ago I coached a college roller hockey team, University of Texas at Arlington (UTA). That’s my team to the left after winning a 4th consecutive league championship. That group achieved Elite Eight status at a national tournament. I didn’t love them because they won. I loved them, and that made me want victory for them.

I didn’t hate opposing teams – except when we played them! But that’s what competition is about, victory. Beating your opponent.

Love.

Competition.

I hate to lose. I love to win. I want my team to win. Yes, that means at the expense of my opponent or competition. I’m sick of this wishy washy, “there’s enough for everybody” mindset. No, there are a finite number of customers. If you love your business and believe you’ve got the very best solution for the customer, then losing is unacceptable – for both you and your prospect!

Today’s show is about these two seemingly contrasting ideas that I know belong together.

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Trees grow toward the sun. I’m trying to grow toward wisdom.

On May 28, 2010 I released the first episode of a podcast called Leaning Toward Wisdom. As you’d imagine, it was at LeaningTowardWisdom.com. I registered that domain on February 1, 2005.

Years earlier, in 1999, I had started my first blog – we called them “journals” back then – at RandyCantrell.com. Podcasting was yet to come. According to the history of podcasting at Wikipedia, “audioblogging” started in the 1980′s, but I wasn’t savvy enough to know about it.

In 2005 I was blogging  fairly regularly at Leaning Toward Wisdom. I went through a few variations of the website design. I even got a local tech whiz to give me a killer design, built on Expression Engine. WordPress wasn’t yet on anybody’s radar.

I continued to blog there – mostly focused on subjects I felt were part of my own efforts to grow wiser. Topics ranged from books read, to music heard, to lessons life had taught to business challenges I had learned to overcome. It was much more than a personal journal, but I included tidbits of personal information every now and again.

By 2010 I had discovered podcasting so I launched a podcast, releasing one episode to every 2-4 blog posts. The topics didn’t change, except now I was able to add my literal voice to the content.

Within a few months I had morphed toward a topic my son and I were passionate about – education. I was weary with talking mostly business. Besides, in 2008 I had begun podcasting right here at Bula Network. Most of the topcis here were related to business. It just didn’t make any sense to have that focus somewhere else, too.

I began to blog and podcast about teaching children and education from the perspective of a entrepreneurship and business building. The very meaning of ENTREPRENEUR means “accepting responsibility for the outcome.” That seemed fitting to any human endeavor, especially the field of education where so many people point fingers at others.

Children suffer because too many adults are busy looking for others to blame while another generation enters society less prepared than they could be. Everybody wants to blame the government. Others want to blame the teachers, or the teachers’ unions. There’s plenty of blame to go around, but when I took Leaning Toward Wisdom into the field of education, I was irked that nobody seemed to be accepting responsibility for the outcome.

My idea – which is still sound – was to approach education as an outsider, a business guy. The focus was on that meaning of entrepreneurship, namely, accepting responsibility for the outcome. The effort was focused on all of us. I posed the question, “What would happen if we ALL accepted responsibility for the outcome of raising wise children?”

About a dozen episodes in I knew it wasn’t going to resonante. What a lifetime of business experience had taught me wasn’t resonating with people in education. At least not yet. And my resolve to continue started to weaken. And die.

I still felt strongly about the idea. Today, I still think the field of education has much to learn, but too much time in academia has jaded the great majority of educators. I grew increasingly jaded myself, but in a different direction from what I was encountering in educators. I was jaded against their stubbornness to consider anything outside their known norm. I found quite a few teachers who were as politically motivated as the politicians. I had too many conversations that never focused on the kids – the students. It reminded me of my days coaching young kids with overbearing parents and thinking, “We’d all have a grand time if we could get these idiot parents to stay home!”

Adults can ruin just about anything.

Let’s sit and talk.

It’s time to invite you into my backyard where we can sit on the steps, look up at the trees and talk about wisdom. It’s time to remove the focus from anything specific, other than wisdom.

Here’s what Wikipedia has to say about wisdom:

Wisdom is the judicious study and application of knowledge. It is a deep understanding and realization of people, things, events or situations, resulting in the ability to apply perceptions, judgments and actions in keeping with this understanding. It often requires control of one’s emotional reactions (the “passions”) so that universal principles, reason and knowledge prevail to determine one’s actions. Wisdom is also the comprehension of what is true coupled with optimum judgment as to action. Synonyms include: sagacity, discernment, or insight.

Here’s what Psychology Today says:

It can be difficult to define Wisdom, but people generally recognize it when they encounter it. Psychologists pretty much agree it involves an integration of knowledge, experience, and deep understanding that incorporates tolerance for the uncertainties of life as well as its ups and downs. There’s an awareness of how things play out over time, and it confers a sense of balance.

Wise people generally share an optimism that life’s problems can be solved and experience a certain amount of calm in facing difficult decisions. Intelligence—if only anyone could figure out exactly what it is—may be necessary for wisdom, but it definitely isn’t sufficient; an ability to see the big picture, a sense of proportion, and considerable introspection also contribute to its development.

Pick either one of those and I can accept it. That’s what’s going to start happening at Leaning Toward Wisdom. This is the pre-launch episode to just let you know what’s on my mind and how I’m planning to relaunch it soon. I’d appreciate any feedback you care to give me.

Well, shut my mouth!

Those of us with the “heart of a teacher” have an innate urge to explain so we can foster understanding. Or greater understanding. Especially when we’re asked a question.

The other day I was talking with a gentleman and attempting to answer his question. It was a question I had been asked before so I didn’t hesitate to provide a thorough, albeit succinct answer. The answer is tried and true. Honest, forthright, to the point, but very authentic.

But first, a bit of background about this conversation.

We’re a time zone apart and at least a dozen states separate us.

We had been missing each other all day…by now we had each engaged in a short voicemail dance. He wanted to talk with me. We had exchanged emails prior to the voicemail exchanges. This wasn’t a call he was avoiding. He sought out this conversation.

So “tag,” I was it. I called him back. This time, he picked up right away. I did what I always do (a professional habit developed when I was young), I asked the question, “Is this a good time to talk?”

“Yes, it’s an ideal time,” he responded.

“Great, I know you’ve got questions so I’ll answer anything I can,” I said.

Within seconds the question was posed and I began to answer. Comprehensive, but only about 3-minutes long. Maybe 2.

“I hope that helps clarify this project for you. Do you have any other questions?” I asked.

“I think that’s the longest answer I’ve ever heard to a single question,” he said.

Offended, but not showing it, I sincerely replied, “I apologize.”

Then…I shut up.

He didn’t do what most people would do in that situation…say something like, “Oh, that’s quite alright, I appreciate the details.” No, this man insulted me, then went right on with another question.

Even my dogs learn pretty quick when I scold them. Last time I checked, I’m smarter than my dogs. My wife doesn’t always think so, but I think she’s wrong.

Hesitant to even answer any more questions, I kept my answers as short as possible. I was careful to avoid coming across like a jerk (like him). I concentrated on NOT giving as I had received. It just usually never works. Whoever said “fight fire with fire” never successfully put out a fire. Besides, turn the other cheek is sound advice.

My mind said, “Say no more!” I obeyed. Sorta. Short, concise answers with extremely limited details. They seemed good enough for him. Not a naturally inquisitive fella, I supposed.

“Fine,” I thought. No problem. I’m not trying to be his buddy. I’m just trying to explain a project that has big benefits to him and no cost whatsoever, aside from a bit of his time. It’s a non-business project for me, but it has some serious business benefits for him.

For the rest of the call I purposefully toned down the energy in my voice to mirror his lack of personality. Hopeful that if I sounded more like him in tone and pace, he might warm up.

Nope.

I carefully measured my words, tone, pace and length of my talking. The call ended well enough, but I thought of the countless thousands of interactions I’ve had in my life – with people from all over the world. And I considered (thankfully) how infrequently this has ever happened to me. I’m pretty accomplished at breaking the ice with people. Mr. Iceburg won this round.

After more than 15 minutes on the phone it was very clear to me – he’s just not a friendly man. Silently I wondered about this man’s family and friends. Surely they see somebody very different than the man I saw (heard). But I don’t know.

My conclusion, which admittedly may be incorrect, was that he’s a self-centered, impatient man mostly interested in his own gain.

Which is perfectly fine with me, given the nature of my interaction with him (or any future ones I may have). It’ll take a lot more than his crassness to put me off. I’ve got more tenacity in my left (non-dominate) hand than he’s got in his whole body!

It’s just likely his nature. I’m too experienced to take it personally even though I did take the challenge very seriously. The challenge to crack his communication code.

We’ve got another call scheduled soon. We’ll see how that one goes, but I’ve learned my lesson. I’m going to shut my mouth and let him lead the way. I’m going to do everything I can to see if I can’t find a way to get him to warm up. Challenges like this invigorate me. It’s a study of psychology and communication.

I’m determined to win the next round. I’ll let you know how I fare!

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Victory requires sacrifice.

“You can’t win a chess game by protecting every piece on your side of the board.” I read it. Or heard it. Years ago. Somewhere.

I never was much of a chess player, but I understood the comment. It resonated with me and I thought, “That’s brilliant.”

The point was about business. It was just another way of saying you can’t be all things to all people. You’ve got to figure who you are, what you do and go narrow.

Today’s show is about focus, concentration and addition by subtraction! It’s about how we often fail because we’re trying to be This, That and The Other when a better strategy would be to pick one and let the other two go.

A recent episode of Shark Tank proves the point.

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Published in 1988, but still great

Long before he was the grand poopah over at Fox News, Roger Ailes ran his own communications company in New York City. He was the executive producer of The Mike Douglas Show back in the day. He’s coached and counseled executives, celebrities and politicians. In 1988 he headed up the advertising for the campaign of George H. W. Bush (the senior Bush). The man knows his stuff.

“You Are The Message: Getting What You Want By Being Who You Are” by Roger Ailes

I bought and read this book back in 1988 when it was published. The other day I snagged it off the shelf to revisit it. I intended to skim through it, but I just may sit down and actually re-read the entire thing. Yep, it’s that good!

It really deserves more than a Bula! Minute (they’re not really a minute, but they are under 4). You can likely find a copy of this at your local used bookstore or snatch up a copy online somewhere.

I’m a sucker for a good communications book. My shelves are filled with them, but this one has stood the test of time. Besides, I like Mr. Ailes’ style.

Enjoy!

Digital new media changes can help content producers.

This month Edison Research released a new study entitled, “The Infinite Dial 2013: Navigating Digital Platforms.” Click here to download the PDF of the entire report, but I’ll give you a bird’s eye view.

• 24% of American homes have 3 or more working computers

• 67% have Internet and a Wi-Fi network

• 24% have 5 or more devices connected to their network

• 45% or 120 million Americans listened to online radio in the last month. Think Pandora, I Heart Radio, Spotify, etc.

• 33% or 83 million Americans listened to online radio in the last week.

• The average self-reported time spent listening to online radio is almost 12 hours a week.

• Pandora has about 182 million users. I Heart Radio has about 119 million. Spotify has about 57 million. They’re all show substantial growth.

• 46% of Americans are familiar with the term “podcasting.”

• 27% have listened to an audio podcast. 22% have watched a video podcast.

• 12% have listened to a podcast in the past month. That’s about 32 million people.

• More than a quarter of podcast listeners consume 6 or more podcasts a week.

• 43% have watched an online video in the past week. That’s about 113 million people.

• YouTube seems to be leveling off. The number of people consuming video last month and last week seem flat compared to last year.

• The average time spent by users with online radio is just under 12 hours a week compared to 4 hours of video.

• 53% of Americans, or as estimated 139 million people, own smart phones.

• The top 4 uses of smart phones are (in this order): making and receiving phone calls, sending and receiving text messages, taking pictures and surfing the Internet.

• 47% of all smart phone users have downloaded the Pandora app.

• 50% of the 12-24 aged population use texting most often as their form of communication.

• 52% of cell phone users have their cell phone always within reach.

• 3 in 10 wake up daily to their cell phone.

• 29% of Americans own a tablet computer. 14% own an Apple iPad.

• 62% of Americans have a social media profile somewhere online.

• 58% have a Facebook profile (far and away the leading platform). Next in line? LinkedIn at 17%. Surprised? So was I. Twitter is at 15%. Prepare for a real shock – MySpace is at 14%. Pinterest is at 10%.

• Year over year growth on social media is highest among people 55 and older.

• 27% of Americans, about 71 million, check their social media daily.

• 12 to 24 year olds have the highest number of social media connections (around 500). The average of all age groups is 262.

• 44% hear about a Tweet daily, but not on Twitter.

• 29% of Facebook users express a political opinion there. 13% admit they’ve unfriended somebody because of it.

There are many more fun facts to digest in this report. Download it, absorb it and see if it can help you design better methods of communicating with your audience.

This is one side.

My Ambidextrous Book Bag Will Soon Turn 8

I’d like to introduce you to my book bag. Rhonda (my wife) made it for me in 2005 (as you can see). It’s an ambidextrous book bag. Depending on how you want to look at it – it’s got neither a front nor a back OR it’s got two fronts and no back.

This is the other side.

That’s how I roll. I’m a front facing guy. Well, I’m trying to be…more so.

Do you have a book bag? I’m fearful that book bags like this will go the way of the dinosaur thanks to digital media. I love digital media, but I still like thumbing through a physical magazine or book. And nothing will replace a notebook and pen. Not for me!

The irony is that my Kindle is inside my book bag. That’s fitting really though because I’m a guy stuck in between analog and digital. And not just with books or magazines or notebooks. It’s true of The Yellow Studio, too. I’ve got loads of analog gear connected and producing digital files.

My book bag will turn 8 in May. Well, THIS book bag turns 8. I’ve got older, well-worn bags that are much older. They’re retired now though. Mostly stuck in the closet housing some old papers or something. This bag is relatively young yet though…with lots of life left.

So let’s get on with it and let me show you what’s in my book bag today. There’s no importance to the order of items in the bag. It’s just how they stack up as I thumb through.

Inc. magazine

1. Inc. magazine – I’ve been a longtime reader of Inc. I’m very bad at waiting until I’ve got 2 or 3 issues of a magazine before I read them. That’s a habit I developed within the last 10 years. I’m not sure why. I used to devour an issue the day it arrived. Now, I pile them to the side, put them in my book bag and get around to them whenever I get around to them.

 2. Fast Company – I started subscribing to this magazine when it first came out in 1995/1996. It’s still staple reading for me.

3. Entrepreneur – I’ve been in and out on this magazine through the years. It’s been a much less steady habit than Inc. or Fast Company, but about 6 years ago I returned to it as a subscriber. There are still quite a few things I love about it and other things that don’t interest me at all (like all the franchise stuff in the back).

4. BSWUSA.com catalog – Yeah, it’s a guilty pleasure. Catalogs have always been a fascination. Even as a child I loved a good catalog. Toys. Sporting goods. Hi Fi gear. Electronics. SkyMall.

BSW is a pro audio gear provider specializing in the broadcast field. Much of my gear Inside The Yellow Studio came from them. I have no use for much of this gear as it’s focused on terrestrial radio stations, but microphones, processors, mixers and the like are still capable of fostering gear envy. There is almost always a gear catalog inside my book bag.

I suspect this book bag – Homer/Mr. Potato Head – will last me the rest of my life. Earlier bags had to handle heavier loads. I always over stuffed earlier book bags with physical books because I could never leave behind a book I was reading. And I was always reading 6 or more books at one time. Seams would burst. Handles would break. Tears in the fabric would compromise the integrity of the bag. I don’t see that happening with this bag because the Kindle changed all that. I now pack the Kindle and at most, two physical books.

That’s good news. I’m pleased that while Homer/Mr. Potato Head will turn 8 next month…they’ll likely be with me the rest of my life, along with the knowledge and wisdom of the contents carried by them.

Be the ball. Be the red ball.

I don’t have time to blog or produce online content.

There are millions of websites. Hundreds of millions actually!

There are no official numbers posted, but some estimate there are over 1 billion YouTube channels.

What about podcasts? Again, official numbers are tough, but estimates are around 200,000 different podcasts. They likely represent millions of episodes.

It’s all content. Text. Video. Audio.

Besides, there are already too many people hollering their message in my industry.

Yes, it’s crowded and growing more so every single day. But the herd is also thinning while it’s growing. Think about that for a moment. While some people are just launching their website or blog…others are abandoning theirs.

Unfortunately, the Internet is a place where people can own abandoned, broken down real estate. It clutters up every online neighborhood. Imagine driving through a nice neighborhood in your home town and you see a nice, well kept house with a terrific front lawn. Right next door there is a house that hasn’t been painted in years. The yard is over grown. The roof is falling in.

It’s the same thing in almost any niche you care to examine. You’ll find very nice, updated sites with current, up-to-date content. Then, just next door (one click away), you’ll find another site that hasn’t been touched for years.

Don’t be discouraged by the number of competitors.

I was looking through the Apple iTunes podcast directory at the SEO (search engine optimization) podcasts. Just a casual glance revealed at least 100 different podcasts in the SEO category. Yes, that’s quite a few for a specific niche.

I selected that specific niche for a reason. It’s about Internet-based technology that is always changing because the search engines are constantly updating their algorithms to produce better results for the end user. Anybody in the SEO space has to stay on top of it or they get left behind. Anybody producing content in the SEO space has to maintain a discipline and dedication to keep their content updated. Not only that, but unlike many spaces, SEO information grows old. In the online world you’ll hear the phrase “evergreen content.” That just means in many niches a blog post might be written today (or a podcast episode might be released) that is still valid years from now because the principles and truths of what’s released today don’t change. Or they don’t change that often or that much. Not so in the SEO space. It’s constantly moving.

Let’s suppose you’re an SEO expert and you look at all the podcasts on the subject…are you discouraged? Well, if you are, then you’ll have a stroke when you look at the websites and blogs on the topic.

Google “SEO experts” and you’ll get almost 16 million search results. Sure, many of those are just pages or articles about the topic, but it provides a glimpse of the popularity of the topic. There are tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of SEO experts around. Besides that, many companies have SEO experts in house!

It’s also a niche with a pretty high barrier of entry. SEO is a technical craft that requires people know their stuff – and that they remain devoted to ongoing learning. We mere mortals lack the attention span, capacity or interest to delve into their world for too long. But, it’s a very crowded space.

I’ve purchased countless books on the topic. I’ve listened to more mind-numbing podcast and watched more coma-inducing videos than I can remember. There are some brilliant people in the space, but one person stands out for me. He’s the red ball in the sea of gray balls that represent the SEO world. He’s really more than just an SEO guy because he focuses on traffic, which is what SEO is all about anyway. I resonate with Neil Patel. Yes, I am a customer, too.

When I look at the SEO world I don’t see too many other people. I see Neil. I’m pretty sure other people see a different red ball.

Think about the people you listen to or read. Do you have a favorite sports columnist? A favorite food show host? A favorite TV show? Sure. We all do. Ask yourself why you like them.

Uniqueness isn’t just in what you know, or what you do – it’s also in who you are and how you deliver.

Style matters. Yes, substance is the competency you bring with you. You must be capable in whatever service you provide. But let’s assume you’re competent. Your favorite sports columnist has tons of competition, but you prefer reading his stuff. Is he more competent than all the others. Doubtful. But he might concentrate more on your favorite sport. Or he might always have a very strong opinion. To you…he’s different than all the others. He stands out for you.

Let me leave you with just a few reasons why you shouldn’t let the competition stop you from producing online content to tell your story.

1. Even if you’re in the same business, you are different.

Everybody is. Go visit 2 different fast food franchises of the same brand and you will notice some differences. One will be better than the other. It may be cleaner. It may have better parking or easier access. It may have more polite, well-groomed employees. The food might even be hotter at one versus the other. One might put napkins in your bag while the other one leaves them out.

If the most routinely run businesses on the planet – fast food joints – can be different among their own ranks, then I shouldn’t have to work too hard to persuade you that any business can stand apart from the competition.

Your story is your story. Nobody has an identical story. Embrace the differences in your story. What are the compelling differences between you and your competition? Don’t shy away from them. Run toward them. It’s the best way to attract people who will find you compelling. It’s also a great way to avoid attracting people who would never buy from you. It’s a marketing victory without causalities because everybody wins.

2. Focus on where your differences can be positively amplified.

Neil Patel has his own style and personality. But so do others. I happen to like his style. He’s straight-forward, confident, but likable. Others might totally disagree with me though and they’d likely toss out the name of somebody else when it comes to experts on generating online traffic.

Neil communicates in a unique way. For starters, he produces a ton of content. I’m on his list and I’ll admit I don’t always check out the daily updates made on his site. He has guests who post content on his site and it’s a very steady stream of up-to-date information delivered via what he calls The Daily Egg. Yep, it’s daily!

What makes you different? Embrace that and amplify it. Too many people think they should try to be something they’re not so they can appeal to more people. Unfortunately, it can make you appealing to nobody.

IBM used to require all sales reps to wear white shirts. It was the dress code. Oh, and no facial hair was allowed. The logic made sense at the time, offend no one. IBM wanted their sales reps to appeal to everybody.

But what if you liked guys who wore pink shirts with black bow ties? Well, you weren’t going to buy from IBM because they didn’t have anybody like that.

What if you were a Harley riding CEO with a beard? Nobody at IBM would ever call on you who looked like you. In fact, you likely found it hard to relate to anybody at IBM at the time.

Are you the buttoned-down, corporate type? Is that how you feel most comfortable? Then concentrate on that. Go with it. Play it up. Go larger than life with it and you’ll attract other people who feel like you do. Birds of a feather and all that.

Are you a blue jean, flannel shirt type? Don’t visit Brooks Brothers in an effort to be somebody you’re not. Be the blue jean, flannel shirt wearing guy and you’ll find other people who would never welcome a suit into their office.

When you amplify qualities that others can find positive, then you’ll necessarily put putting yourself out there in ways that aren’t pleasing to others.

To be loved by some you must be willing to be hated by others. Your style matters. Be true to it.

3. Start, but never finish.

If you don’t have a website, blog, YouTube channel or podcast – don’t sweat it. And stop worrying about being on Linkedin, Facebook, Twitter or Pinterest.

Too many of you are defeated before you ever start because mentally you’re already drowning. Your feet aren’t even wet. You’ve let yourself become overwhelmed simply by thinking about all this stuff. Stop it!

NOTE: Get a website up and running now. You can get a website up and running with little effort. For now, just go register a domain name. Pick a domain that is identical to your company name, if it’s available. My business name is Bula Network, LLC. So, my domain here is BulaNetwork.com. Get a dot com domain. There are dot net and plenty of other suffixes, but get a dot com if it’s available. I’m assuming you’ve got an existing website though so let’s keep going with this third and final point…

If your website is just an online billboard you’re missing an opportunity to stand apart from the crowd. Think of it as the difference in looking at a cardboard stand up of you versus having you in real life. A static billboard type website hasn’t got your personality. Most don’t have any personality. How are people going to get to know you? How are you going to stand apart from the crowd?

Don’t tell me because you serve customers better. Or because your stuff is better. Or because your price is lower. You’re just like everybody else. You’ve got to give me more.

Start sharing. Start telling people more about who you are and what you do – and how you do it. Start telling people your own story. Why do you do what you do? Why are you in this business? Put it out there. Not everybody will be interested in every detail of your life, but some people will. And in sharing these details you’ll begin to attract people who are looking for somebody like you. You’ll also get more accomplished at telling your story. Like any other endeavor, you’ll get better the more you do it.

The good news is you can start right now. The bad news is you’ll never be finished.

Think of your family. Do you guys talk very much? Why? Don’t they already know you? Why are you talking to them today?

What about your prospects or customers? Yeah, you were right to think you don’t have to talk to them. Who’s got time to sell their stuff by sharing valuable information? Or by telling people their story so people can figure out if they want to do business?

By now, I hope it’s as visible as that red ball. So get out there and as Chevy Chase said in Caddyshack, “Be the ball!”

Be the red ball.

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Thank you!

my fitness began in my head

I don’t visit the gym. I go there and workout. I’m not angling for 6-pack abs or a 30″ waistline. And my pecs aren’t worthy of flexing.

But that’s not why I go to the gym. At 55 (almost 56) vanity left me long ago! 7 years ago I got real about my fitness. Driven mostly by being there for my family and reducing the risk of being a burden to my wife as grow older…I knew it was high time to take it more seriously.

When I started working out – after years of hardly doing any physical activity – it wasn’t congruent with who I was. I was in the process of changing. Getting real is the start of positive change (aka improvement). It’s important, but it’s just the start.

Daily I walked into the gym knowing I wasn’t faking it, but I knew it was filled with people who were more comfortable being there than I was. I didn’t know my way around the place. Those little illustrations on the machines puzzled me. I hadn’t used any of these machines before. Operating a simple treadmill felt like trying to fly a jet. I was out of my element. Dropped into surroundings that were completely unfamiliar. I felt like the new kid in school unsure where to go, or what to do.

It lasted a few months. Just walking into the gym felt uncomfortable. And I was even more uncomfortable during the workouts. I felt like I was an out-of-shape spectacle. Mentally, it felt like the entire joint was dark and big spot lights were shining on my bald head!

It was just part of the process of getting real with my commitment. I felt like a wannabe for the longest time. Surrounded by guys half my age and 75% less body fat, I felt and looked like a person who’d be more comfortable in a La-Z Boy. I was certain people glanced at me and thought, “Look at that poor fella. He won’t last.”

But I did.

My body had not yet caught up to my mind. I made a decision that my outward appearance hadn’t yet manifested. It would take some time. And a lot of hard work. But it would happen. I knew I’d have to stick with it.

My mind was made up.

That’s the critical part of getting real. Some punk teenager could have approached me and said, “Get real, old man” and I’d have put a choke hold on him before he knew what hit him and said, “I am getting real. This is real.”

Weeks turned to months. A month turned into a year. Then another. And another. Gym managers, trainers and other employees came and went. Customers who I had seen regularly when I started disappeared. Today, I can count on one hand the people I see working out who were there at my start. I’m the tortoise who won the race! All the hares have fallen by the wayside.

What has this taught me?

What we manifest in our lives must first exist in our mind. We’re unlikely to accomplish anything that we’ve yet to achieve in our mind. The longer we can hold it in our mind – fully embracing it in the form of true commitment and unwavering devotion – the more real it gets!

But it never ends.

My fitness began to improve. It kept improving. I dropped some body fat. I lost some inches. My lungs gained increased capacity. My heart got stronger. My energy increased. Mission accomplished. Done?

Nope. Entropy pushes us to stay real. Or regress. I wasn’t about to go back – ever again!

You have to maintain that devotion after you’ve paid the price to get real because it can fade over time. Fitness. Business success. Relationships. Everything in life will fade if you don’t put in the work. And keep putting in the work.

There are likely things in your life waiting for you to address. Fix. Repair. Start. Finish.

Get real.

Make up your mind. Commit. Follow through. Establish the habit.

Stay real.

Don’t give up. Don’t be afraid. Don’t worry about what others think or say.

Simple, easy and neglected

A grown man tells me, “My father never said, ‘I love you.’”

“Really? Never?” I reply.

“Never,” he says.

The pain in his eyes is real. And evident.

The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.

Williams James is credited with that quote. I don’t know who he was, but he was wise.

Recognition. Appreciation. Respect. We all want it. No, Mr. James was right – we crave it!

Why is it so difficult to incorporate into our communication? Why is it hard for a father to tell a son that he loves him?

I don’t know, but I do know it’s inexcusable.

Business people neglect many facets of effective of communication, but perhaps chief among them is the art of showing appreciation.

I know a business man – very successful financially – who believes it’s his job to “catch people making mistakes.” He’s very good at it, too. No, he won’t ever tell anybody they’re doing a good job. His success is the problem. His crude, deliberate berating of people works. Convincing him that even greater success might be his if he’d learn to behave differently is an impossible task.

I’m sad for him. And others like him.

As business people we have internal and external customers. It’s important to communicate our appreciation to all them. Simple, inexpensive and seemingly easy – but it remains one of the most neglected form of business communication.

I challenge you to set about changing that in your life – in business and in your personal life!

Thank you for listening. See, that wasn’t hard.

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service professionals are in high touch industries

Service professionals are among the highest touch business owners on the planet. They connect to one person at a time. They have transactions that are often face-to-face. They often deliver their services in person. Service pros tend to be people skillful in physical, in person communication. They also tend to be people with a very specialized, often high value knowledge.

Your dentist, doctor and CPA are all service professionals. So is your chiropractor, financial advisor, attorney or kitchen remodeler.

Service professionals are currently my ideal clients for a pilot program I’m launching. This isn’t an ongoing program. It’s a one-time offer exclusively for 6 people and it’s only for 3 months.

Why are service professionals my ideal clients for this?

1. They serve local markets.

Not every small business operates exclusively in a virtual or online world. Even though service professionals may primarily do business in a local market they may also do business online. Web technologies provide great utility for service professionals to communicate with their clients and prospects.

Attorneys are licensed to practice in specific states. Yes, a state is a local market. A local market is simply a geographic location that serves as a boundary for the service professional.

I’m in Texas. An attorney who is a member of the Texas State Bar is licensed to practice law in Texas. It’s an enormous state – a very big local market – but it does have a boundary. That makes it, by my definition, a local market.

2. They may have products, but we mostly rely on service professionals for their expertise.

A financial advisor may be commissioned by financial products providers to sell their products. Or, a financial advisor may be unencumbered by such a relationship and simply work on behalf of the client for a small fee.

A dentist may incorporate technologies or products that help patients improve their oral health. From teeth whitening to products used to fill cavities, the dentist likely incorporates products that others provide. As a patient, we don’t have the expertise in these things. We rely on our dentist to do the right things for us.

A funeral director walks us through one of the toughest times of our lives, arranging the final ceremony for a loved one. Do we purchase a casket or do we purchase cremation? Hard decisions only made easy if our loved one left behind what they wanted. And we rely on the funeral director to walk us through the maze of choices because we lack the expertise or experience in such things.

Service professionals have an extraordinary expertise that we often need. Many have endured years of formal education and training. Many are in industries that are regulated and formally organized with certifications and licensing. The barrier of entry into their professional is high.

3. They typically spend most of their time practicing their craft because they’ve spent years learning it.

Service professionals may lack the foundations necessary to operate a profitable business. The attorney has endured years of formal education, juggled student loans, done some summer internships and may have started his career as an associate with a mid to large sized firm. Some get the entrepreneurial itch and embark on starting their own practice. Unfortunately, they’re skillful at practicing the law, not building a business. It’s a hazard of the service professional.

Michael Gerber of E-Myth fame calls them “technicians.” They have the technical know how of their craft (law, dentistry, etc.), but they likely have no experience or training in marketing, management or operations. They’re far from stupid. In fact, they’re brilliant at many levels because they know what they’re doing in their respective industries. They simply lack the training to know the things vital to building a practice or business.

So, many of them fail. Or struggle.

Too many service professionals find out that when they build it, nobody comes! Others find out that cash flow doesn’t automatically flow…unless it’s OUT.

These are my ideal clients for this limited time project. I recorded a short video and wrote a longer than necessary amount of copy to explain every possible thing. Does this sound like YOU or somebody you know? Then I hope you’ll apply.

It’s limited to only six (6) people. I will personally contact everybody who applies.