Just like airlines tell you to put your oxygen mask on before you help your children, moms – we need to take care of ourselves so that we can better care for our families. If you are completely depleted, how can you possibly provide your family with everything they need and want? The only way to be the kind of mom you want to be is to take care of yourself physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally first.

Enter the Upside of Life Retreat.

Seasoned Moments (my culinary lifestyle company) and The Upside are co-hosting this retreat on Dec. 7 – 9 in Tarrytown, NY. If you aren’t familiar with The Upside, it’s a company that focuses on flexible careers for high-achieving women. They are at the forefront of the revolution to change the way working works.

I know that many of you could really benefit from a weekend away to focus on yourself, your career/business strategy, personal branding, work/life balance, family togetherness and goals for 2019. Plus, I’ll be catering all of the food for the entire weekend in addition to hosting two cooking workshops! There will be time to connect (and definitely to disconnect), to reflect and create some space for yourself. 

We are keeping the retreat small at 6 guests, and have a couple of spots still remaining. And just for you, my loyal readers, I can offer a 25% discount!!!! Just enter discount code: SM2018F

Ironically, this year (when I’m not hosting Pesach in my home) I decided to give it a whirl. What’s the worst that could happen?

Well, there were many obstacles to overcome. I didn’t plan ahead, so getting carp or whitefish or pike was out of the question. Well, since I’ve never made this anyway, why go the traditional route?!? I got cod. I’m fairly certain red snapper, haddock, or any of those nice white fishies would work just as well. The cod was inexpensive, which is why I chose it.

I looked at a few gefilte recipes to get a sense of proportion, then forged ahead with what I hoped would be a new take on this age-old dish.

I couldn’t have dreamed of a lighter, fluffier and more flavorful fish. I don’t even know if it’s proper to call this gefilte! It’s tinged green from all the herbs I put in and holds up flavor-wise without the addition of horseradish. I must say, horseradish is the single greatest condiment ever created, so it’s a welcome addition to my gefilte fish.

Also, this was easy to make. I’m not sure why I had a grueling process stuck in my head (probably why I never wanted to attempt this before). If you own a food processor, you can make this in a jiffy.

Note: since I was making chicken soup for the holiday anyway, I used that stock for simmering my fish. If you want to make a fish stock, I have included the recipe down below. I just got lazy…

Not Your Bubbe’s Gefilte Fish

Ingredients
10-12 cups fish stock (you can also just use water)
1 carrot
1 medium onion
1 celery stalk
3 cloves garlic
1/4 cup dill
1/4 cup parsley
1 tablespoon scallions
1 chili pepper (optional)
2 lbs cod
2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon black pepper
3 eggs
1 tablespoon olive oil
6 tablespoons matza meal

Directions
Fill a large wide pot with stock (about 2-3″ high). Bring to a boil over high heat then reduce to medium low. Let it continue to cook while you prepare the fish.

Place the carrot, onion, celery, garlic, dill, parsley, scallions and chili pepper (if using) into the bowl of a food processor. Pulse until everything is finely chopped. Add the fish, salt and pepper and pulse until the fish is well ground but not liquefied or pasty.

Transfer the fish mixture into a large bowl. Add the egg, oil and matza meal into the bowl and mix until combined.

Wet your hands with water before making each gefilte patty. Round the mixture with your hand and form into an oval shape. Form all the patties and place them on a platter. Add the patties to the simmering stock and cook for 20 minutes, flipping them halfway through.

Using a slotted spoon, gently lift them out of the pot and let them cool on a plate. If you are serving immediately, plate them with a slice of carrot and a sprig of dill and/or parsley on top.

If you are making the fish ahead of time, place them in a baking dish, cover them with the poaching liquid and refrigerate over night. To freeze, place patties on a cookie sheet covered with parchment. Freeze them in a single layer (for an hour or two) then place them all in a freezer bag. Freeze the poaching liquid separately. To reheat, bring poaching liquid to a boil then simmer the patties for a minute on each side.

Fish Stock

Place heads, bones and skin of 2 fish in a large, wide pot. Add 4 quarts of water, 1 tablespoon of salt, 1 teaspoon of sugar, 1 sliced onion and 3 carrots and bring to a boil. Cover and simmer for 20 minutes (prepare the fish mixture in the meantime).

This is not just for those who are Jewish. I do believe that we all have struggles, we’ve all felt overwhelmed, we all seek an escape, we all have work that needs to be done…here are a few of my struggles and how I have managed them.

For those of you who don’t know me, let me share a bit about myself. I’m an event designer, a producer, a marketing specialist, a cookbook author, a blogger, a pianist, a board member, a jewelry maker, a mother, wife, daughter. Phew.

Who in this room has ever been asked the question, “What do you want to do when you grow up?” Let’s see with a show of hands.

Yeah, I still can’t answer that question. I have always been interested in many things, which are never related to one another. At many points in my life, that has made me feel scattered, like I have no purpose, that I am constantly trying to sabotage myself or maybe I’m afraid of success. OK, I’ll be very honest, that feeling has been a near-constant in my life to the point where I feel overwhelmed and stuck.

On Monday, we celebrated the first day of spring, though you wouldn’t be able to tell from looking outside! Snow? Really? What happened to “out like a lamb”??? Speaking of lamb…Passover is rapidly approaching. See? I can’t even focus in this speech!

Passover celebrates our liberation from slavery and our passage out of Egypt. We gather around the table and retell the tale but I urge you to reflect and go deep. Connect to the story and make it personal. How do we each find meaning within the Liberation/Redemption celebrated on Pesach?

We all have our own personal struggles. Some people face major challenges – cancer, domestic violence, hunger, homelessness…we may not all have such tremendous obstacles, but we all have moments of weakness, dark times, times of hurt.

When I was in third grade, my classmate made sure to seek me out every single day to tell me how much the entire school hated me. Or how the whole school thought I didn’t brush my hair.

When I was sixteen, I was forced to completely change gears from my path to become a pianist when I damaged the muscles in my hands and back.

As a mother, I struggle on a daily basis. Just yesterday, I kicked myself for losing patience with my little five year old who was too tired to listen. And on the tenth time that I asked her to put on her shoes…the struggle is real! And everything feels so consequential when you are raising young children.

Big or small, these dark moments are trying on us mentally, emotionally, physically. Especially when young children are involved. The enormity of them is sometimes too overwhelming and we feel like we can’t go on.

The great Mishna sage Rabbi Tarfon wisely said, “It is not incumbent upon you to finish the task, but neither are you free to absolve yourself from it.” As I see it, we must not be overwhelmed by the enormity of life itself or our struggles, but we must engage with the task at hand and bit by bit, work towards our goal.

Meaning, despite the pain, we must thrive for we can’t know the beauty of light without experiencing darkness. To appreciate the spring, we must survive the depths of winter. No matter what the turning point, we can choose to use those worst moments to our benefit. This is our crossroads, where we decide whether to fight on and achieve our own Exodus.

But what is this enormous task of which Rabbi Tarfon speaks? And how do we find redemption?

I think the ultimate task is existence itself which is why we can never achieve any sort of end-game. We just have to do what we can, and make it meaningful. Existence is a lofty thing and we cannot sustain it alone. We are a part of a chain, an ongoing historic process. We are not charged with the whole of existence, but we must play a meaningful part, pay it forward or transmit it to the next generation.

That’s why we retell the story of Exodus at the Passover seder. To remember those who came before us, their pain and struggles and how despite it all, they managed to put one foot in front of the other and journey to freedom. The Seder is a reminder to do everything you can do to advance the process.

And with spring comes renewal and new beginnings. Yet another reminder that we can’t get everything done in one cycle. Although we are human, we are like perennials – doing what we can, weathering the storm and then coming back stronger. Our redemption lies in continuity, in our shared history and bringing forth the next generation.

That’s great, you’re thinking. Why don’t I just give up then? If I can’t finish the job, why start at all? Well, that’s what Rabbi Tarfon says: although you need not finish the task, you also aren’t free to abandon it. This isn’t dismissive as in “Why bother? Why even start?” It’s a challenge. What can you achieve that is meaningful?

Haven’t you felt that before? Inaction is like a shackle that holds you back? I know when I’m down and focusing on the struggle, I am completely overwhelmed. Just when I want to give it all up is when I take a breath. It can literally be a breath. Or a break. Because we all need a bit of perspective. Only then can we properly assess the situation and figure out a plan of action. The moment you take that first step, you already feel liberated.

Remembering that you’re not alone is a tremendous help. I’m not the first to struggle with my issues and I won’t be the last. I am part of the continuum.

I am fortunate to have always had incredibly supportive people in my life. As a young child, I had amazing parents who nurtured me and helped me make my way in this world. When I came home from school, crying from being teased and bullied all day, my parents invested their time and energy into developing my self confidence and self esteem. Instead of getting involved with the petty stuff, they delved head first into building a strong and confident woman. They pushed me to be a good student, to practice the piano (sometimes 12 hours a day), to participate in enough activities that I would always have some friends, even if they weren’t at school. They helped me take a break from the social struggles so that I could take the necessary steps to becoming a worthwhile adult. It hurt, and it hurt a lot, to be teased on a daily basis. But I know that I really am stronger because of it. Instead of reacting or focusing on my bully’s nasty words, words I am sure came from their own place of hurt, I worked on myself and did the things I could do to change my situation, and in turn built a thicker skin that allowed me to compete – in school, at competitions and in life. In no way am I immune to hurtful words, but I now try to differentiate between words and their true intent.

When my life path was radically altered, I could have just given up. I had prepared for many years to get into Juilliard and become a professional pianist. I practiced 6-12 hours a day, I entered competitions, I attended Manhattan School of Music on Saturdays, I submitted myself to my mother’s incredible “torture” regimens to master pieces on the piano. When I realized that I had to give up my dream, I felt stuck. I wasn’t sure how to move forward. A dream shattered is hard to overcome. But, I did what I could. I applied to liberal arts colleges and basically started fresh. Guess what? I had a great college experience. I took classes because they interested me and discovered an incredible professor and mentor. True, my majors on the surface seem completely useless (African-American History and Theater). However, the freedom I enjoyed by pursuing my many interests and passions allowed me to open my mind and learn about new subjects and new people. Although I didn’t nail down my “destiny” I was able to narrow down my areas of interest and forge a new path for myself.

When it comes to parenting, I feel a tremendous amount of pressure. How could you not? As parents, we are charged with raising humans! Ensuring that our society flourishes and thrives! For me, that has always meant that my greatest responsibility was to develop independent, confident and kind children who will grow into productive members of their community. But at what cost?

I am a hardworking individual with goals and dreams of her own. Beside the daily struggles with shoes and homework, I am constantly up against the major obstacle – can women have it all? And the answer is…(drumroll) yes and no. I think we need to see the “having” or “doing” it all as another process. Never completed all at once or in one cycle. When my oldest was a baby, I was able to continue my work pretty much uninterrupted. When the second baby came, however, things were much different. And when we transplanted to New Jersey, everything changed dramatically and I found myself completely incapable in every facet of my life. I was overwhelmed with the move, a home renovation, suburban parenting, meeting and making new friends. Every few months, I break down and feel lost. Luckily, I have an incredible husband who loves and supports me. He seeks my success as much (if not more) than I do and is the first to step in when he sees me down. His advice is always on point, whether I am able to follow it or not! The important thing is that he forces me to focus not on my inability but on the practical small step I should take to move forward. “Take some time for yourself and make sure your head is clear.” Or “Create a schedule for your time so you can fit in everything you need and want to, then say no!” Despite my down moments, I have managed to launch a lecture series, write a cookbook and launch the next phase of my career.

And as I look further out from my family, I am grateful to the safety net that I have built. Close friends, acquaintances and the larger community. It takes a village. Not just to raise kids, but to forge ahead in life. When I can’t take it any more, I have incredible friends who nudge me out of the dark. They encourage me not just with their words but with their actions, too.

I have to share something funny. This morning, as I sat writing my speech, my water heater burst and flooded my basement. Yes, it was frustrating and guzzled up precious hours of my day, but I am so lucky that my parents and dear friends offered to help out. My builder quickly came to my aid and helped me get the ball rolling on fixing the problem. The bad news is that we need a new water heater. The good news is that it uncovered a wider problem with our water that is now on the mend.

Even when I feel isolated, I know I am not alone. I can always reach out. That’s the crucial first step. And then comes the reminder that we are all part of the process and the continuum.

So, don’t despair. Don’t let the enormity of your troubles or life itself take over. Lean into the discomfort. Make sure to build a support network so you can always remember that you are a part of a long chain. Take a breath. And then, slowly, make a plan. Don’t forget: the secret to success is taking the first step.

As you look around your Passover table, take note that you are not the first to struggle. More important, remember that your struggle is not wasted. It is a teaching moment for the next generation, just as the story of the Exodus is for us.

I’ve been toying around with this for a while now…how do I make GF donuts so that my Celiac-suffering friends and family can enjoy this Chanukah treat beloved by so many? This recipe gives you all the flavor of a traditional sufganiya (donut). The texture is much more dense, but there’s no gluten in here to make it fluffy and puffy! Still, these are delicious and get you into the festive, holiday spirit.

I love them plain, but go ahead and stuff them with jelly, chocolate or caramel…

Gluten Free Sufganiyot
(yields 32 two inch balls )

INGREDIENTS
1.5 teaspoon active dry yeast
12 tablespoons warm whole milk
4 cups King Arthur Flour Gluten Free Multi-Purpose Flour
2 large eggs
3 tablespoons butter, softened
3 tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon lemon zest
1/2 teaspoon salt
Sunflower oil for frying

DIRECTIONS
Stir together yeast and milk in a bowl. Let it stand until it looks creamy, about 5 minutes. Mix in one cup of GF flour until all the liquid has been absorbed. Cover with a towel and let stand for an hour.

Mix in 1 cup of GF flour and the remaining ingredients until the dough is smooth, about 5 minutes. I like to mix it by hand because I can really get it to develop. Cover with a towel and let it rise for an hour, until doubled in size.

Punch down the dough and cut it into 32 pieces. Roll each piece into a ball.

Heat 2 1/2 inches oil to 340 degrees in a small pot over medium heat. Fry the sufganiyot in batches of four making sure to constantly turn them so they brown evenly. This should take 2-3 minutes. Transfer the balls with a slotted spoon to paper towels to drain. Make sure the oil is back up to 340 degrees before starting the next batch.

Serve with sauces on the side (jelly, chocolate, Nutella, caramel, custard, whipped cream) or inject fillings using a piping bag.

Luckily, frozen corn is a great way to get my fix when corn isn’t in season. Picked at its prime and then flash frozen, it retains all the good qualities. I had a hankering for something warm and corny and decided to make a quick soup. I can’t even tell you how easy it is to make this delicious chowda. It’s dairy free yet silky and creamy. Mmmmmmm, mmmmmmmm, good.

Creamy Corn Soup

INGREDIENTS
1 large onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
Olive oil
1 bag frozen corn
2 cups chicken or veggie broth
Salt and pepper
Paprika

DIRECTIONS

Heat a tablespoon of olive oil in a pot over medium heat. Saute the onions and garlic until softened. Pour contents along with the broth and half the corn into a blender or Vitamix and process until smooth.

Add another tablespoon of olive oil to the (now empty) pot and heat over a medium flame. Add the remaining corn and saute until browned. Add the puree back into the pot and cook over medium heat. If it’s too thick, add more broth. That’s it!

Garnish with paprika. Hot sauce adds a nice kick, too!

NOTE: You’ll see in my picture that I dressed the soup up a bit. I made a little corn salsa by taking a few tablespoons of the browned corn and tossing with chopped red pepper, cilantro, scallions, cumin and a bit of hot sauce (cuz I like it spicy). This just adds depth and flavor to the overall dish.

Pick someone who you feel will best represent this country and your vision of how it should function. Pick the person you feel most qualified to uphold the duties of president. Pick the person with the best hair. Just pick someone and cast your vote.

Every vote counts. You may think that your voice doesn’t matter because everyone else is voting anyway. That is not the case! By not voting, you place the decision in the hands of strangers. Strangers who may or may not agree with your choice. You give away your right. A right that has been fought for countless times in the last few centuries. A right that we must never forsake or take for granted. Our country was built on the desire and need to be able to select our public officials. We have lost too many lives to this cause. Please. Let’s pay respect to all those who have fought for our right to vote. And if you won’t do it for that, or for yourself, do it for everyone else. We’re all in this together. No matter who wins, we must move forward together to build a better future for all.

This morning, my daughters came with me to the voting booth. It was exciting – the parking lot was jammed, the polling place was full of people…Luckily, it was well run and the process was quick (under eight minutes).

It’s important that they understand from a young age that we must all play our part. Each election shapes history, whether it’s a vote for president or the local school board. Talk to your kids. Explain why you are voting for your candidate. Have an open discussion about politics, our government, and elections.

In their school, my girls are learning all of these things. Every class is voting today (obviously, not in any real sense) and gaining an understanding of leadership and social studies. My Kindergartner was so excited that we voted in the real booth that she begged me to come into her classroom to see the voting booth they had put together. Here she is, voting for the second time today:

So, please vote! And also, please be kind. I may not agree with you about the president, but I still respect you as a person with an important opinion. Let’s not make things personal against each other. I hope today is a safe and peaceful day with record voter turnout. May the best person win and may we start tomorrow off on a positive note with a new course for history.

My first cookbook is published and available for download (ebook) and order (hardcover)!

Seasoned Moments | Rosh Hashana & Yom Kippur: Recipes for a Happy New Year boasts more than 40 approachable, seasonal and delicious recipes to impress your guests at the next holiday meal. You don’t need to be Jewish to enjoy this cookbook. This is a wonderful resource for the fall months, delicious dishes that work well for everyone in the family.

I have been out of touch, barely posting, hardly responding to comments and emails, working in a vortex…but now that it’s all done, I hope you will forgive my absence.

I am selling the book directly from the Seasoned Moments website (in all formats). Get your copy (as a hardcover, pdf, for iBooks or Kindle) today at: http://www.seasonedmoments.com/books/

You can get the ebook and hardcover versions from Amazon as well: http://amzn.to/2cucehF

I need your help getting the word out. This is the first book to focus on the High Holiday meals and will come in handy this October. But, if you’re not Jewish, it’s ok! This book is of-the-season with great ideas and recipes for fall meals, from simple to ornate.

Please share the title with your friends. If you get it and like it, I hope you will leave a review on Amazon.

Thank you for all your support. This is a dream realized.

More and more, I hear from friends that they have a food allergy or that their child does, which makes playdates, birthdays and dessert-time very challenging.

The other day, we had a friend over. Her mother hadn’t mentioned any food sensitivities, but it got me thinking as I prepped dinner and a special treat. What could I make that was both easy (read: my four year old could make it) and edible by anyone? I had made this cake once before but with regular flour. I decided to give it a shot with King Arthur Flour’s All Purpose Gluten Free Flour (my absolute favorite when it comes to GF baking) because I was out of regular flour.

What an easy recipe. Literally, my four year old mixed it all up in under five minutes and into the oven it went for half an hour. By the time the kids had finished their meal, the cake was done and cooled. No one had any idea it was anything but the yummiest chocolate cake…no eggs, no gluten, no dairy. Remarkable! If ever you want to make a dessert that literally anyone can enjoy (unless they’re allergic to chocolate), this is it.

To download the recipe card, click here: Allergen free chocolate cake.

The Chocolate Cake for Everyone

INGREDIENTS

1 ½ cups King Arthur’s Gluten Free AP Flour
3 ½ tablespoons cocoa
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon white vinegar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
5 tablespoons sunflower oil
1 cup water

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter a square pan.

Mix the dry ingredients (you can skip the bowl and mix right in the pan).

Add the wet ingredients and mix until smooth.

Bake for 30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.

Let the cake cool.

Note: this cake is great on its own but can be enhanced with your favorite frosting.

On Tuesday, we were lucky enough to test out the brand spanking new Marc Forgione restaurant – American Cut Bar & Grill. Today, it opens officially to the public, so you can go check it out for yourself.

First off, the space is really beautifully done – industrial but warm. A nice big bar and ample seating in the dining room. Even better, there are some great private dining options to boot. OK. That’s lovely, but how’s the food???

The first thing you get is the everything biscuit. And it sure lives up to its name! Imagine that an everything bagel made sweet, sweet love to the flakiest Southern biscuit. Mmmmmm, mmmmmmm, good…the veggie cream cheese served with it is divine and only enhances the flavors.

These biscuits were so amazing that I attempted to copy them the very next day. Unfortunately, it happened to be my first time ever making any sort of biscuits.

Apparently the recipe I followed (and changed a bit) was not right because although they were flaky and pretty, they did not have the same texture and depth of the ones at American Cut.

Anyway, back to Tuesday night…I knew that if there was this much care and effort put into the bread, the rest of the meal was bound to be great.

I feel like we tasted a good sampling but I’m excited to keep going back to try everything! We started with the hamachi and chili lobster. The tartare really brought us back to the good ole 90’s when we loved going to Tropica for their raw tuna. It was spicy, creamy and bright. The lobster (a riff on Zak Pelacchios’ chili crab) was finger lickin’ good. Thank goodness for that Texas toast so that none of the heavenly sauce went to waste.

For the main course, we split a burger and grilled shrimp. Yum and yummer! The burger was a thick, juicy slab covered in beer cheese on a sturdy briochey bun. We got it with a side of homemade tater tots because YES! The shrimp were ginormous, skewered and dressed with the best oil, parsley and garlic concoction. DELISH!!!

Finally, there was dessert. There was one obvious choice that literally jumped out of the menu and yelled, “ME! ME! ME!” That was the CrackerJack Sundae. Holy moly this is my fantasy dessert come to life. Popcorn ice cream, caramel swirls, peanut brittle and caramel popcorn. I may need to go back JUST for this dessert. We also ordered the banana tart. It was really good, but it was completely outdone by that sundae. I’m drooling a little bit looking at this picture and remembering how delicious it was…

Get thee to American Cut! It’s a great place and the food is wonderful. Such a great addition to the North Jersey dining scene. Listen, even if you live in NYC, it’s worth the trip. It’s just a couple of minutes from the George Washington Bridge and has ample parking (and tons of Ubers waiting to take you home).

I saw just how easy it is to do and now I roast a chicken almost every week. Granted, it’s only been a month since she taught me the Thomas Keller method of roasting a chicken, but I’m telling you: it’s easy. Around these parts, we call it the Kati chicken.

How do you prepare this super crispy-on-the-outside, yet juicy-on-the-inside (especially the breast meat) roasted chicken?!? There are only two ingredients in the original, three in my kicked-up version. Are you ready? Here goes…

You take a chicken (I like to use an organic, locally farmed chicken, but you do you) and dry it. Don’t wash it first (this spreads germs all over your kitchen). Just lay out a bunch of paper towels, then blot the chicken, inside and out, with more paper towels. Do this until it no longer looks wet. Then, wash your hands.

Now, sprinkle the entire chicken with salt. Don’t get too crazy with the salt or else it will be hard to eat the skin, which is my favorite part. Make sure you get salt all over the bird. This will seal in the moisture. Now, if you want to proceed as is, just put the chicken on a parchment lined pan and put it in a 400 degree oven for an hour and fifteen minutes.

Ready to kick it up a notch? I cut the salt quantity down to just a heavy sprinkling and add a heavy handed sprinkling of za’atar. You want that bird to look green! Now, throw it in the oven…The prep time is about five minutes. The oven then does all the work.

The result is sublime and gets rave reviews from every member of my family. I highly recommend it! By the way, I like to collect all the juices that collect at the bottom of the pan and use them to either dip in or drizzle on top. The chicken is just as delicious (if not better) the next day, but it’s pretty rare for us to have leftovers!

I served the chicken with fried rice and edamame. My total working time in the kitchen was 15 minutes! Here’s the rundown on the fried rice – take leftover white rice or boil some in a pot. Put a tablespoon of sunflower or vegetable oil in a pan. Add a chopped onion and two eggs and stir constantly to scramble the eggs and until the onion is softened. Add another tablespoon of oil along with the rice and any vegetables you have on hand (I love to use up frozen veggies like peas, carrots, broccoli here). Stir until everything is cooked and the rice gets a bit of a crunch at the bottom. Toss in a tablespoon of soy sauce and voila. Instant side dish!