Burgh Baby

Hope It's a Love-ly One

burghbaby — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 04:13:50 +0000

The Center of the Universe

burghbaby — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 04:02:19 +0000

It was very sweet of Alexis to make me a birthday card while she was at school. Truly.

(Don't get excited. My birthday was over two weeks ago.)

I especially like that she wrote "Mommy I love you but it is your birthday! So make me happy."

That pretty much sums up what it's like to have a six-year-old kid in the house.

Gone.

burghbaby — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 02:32:11 +0000

Distractions are welcome these days, so early this morning I threw on some clothes and prepared to give a presentation about social media to a group of real estate agents. There was no reason to cancel, even if a lot has happened in the month since I agreed to give the presentation. I needed to be there. For me.

As I stood in front of the mirror, I fussed with my hair. I'm generally a very no-fuss kind of person, but that's mostly because I long ago learned how to just go with the flow. My hair knows what it wants to do, so I let it do it. But this morning nothing seemed to work.

I primped.

I combed.

I sprayed.

I flat-ironed.

I primped some more.

Over and over and over, I ran through the cycle trying to figure out WHY my hair looked wrong. Why was it not laying right? Why was it so uncooperative?

I sighed as I figured it out. I had parted it on the wrong side. I have parted my hair in exactly the same place every day for the past fifteen years (at least), but this morning? This morning I had it all backwards.

It was the second time in just a few days that I've done that exact thing.

It doesn't take a degree in psychology to figure out that I've lost who I am. There's no way to be the person I was back in November before everything started to fall apart. That person is gone. I'll never again be that person who fights to create a culture of learning at a construction company as she drives around in a Nissan Rogue, complaining about a noisy bulldog and remaining hopelessly optimistic about . . . well . . . everything. But most certainly hopelessly optimistic about that.

She's gone. That version of me is gone.

I haven't found the new me yet, but I'm looking. Bear with me as I try to find her.

When Monsters and Haiku Collide to Benefit the March of Dimes

burghbaby — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 03:00:50 +0000

One of the most amazing things about being active in the social media universe is that I've had the opportunity to meet some incredibly diverse and talented people.

Allow me to introduce you to my friend Rachel:

That's Rachel on the left and then 3-year-old Alexis on the right. Alexis was hanging out in the bleachers during one of my softball games happily coloring when Rachel stopped to chat with her. And to steal her markers. You see, Rachel is one of the most talented artists I've ever met. It's her day job as well as her passion. If she sees markers, she's going to pick them up and make something absolutely magical with them.

For example, a monster. But we'll come back to that in second.

First, though, I'd also like to introduce you to my friend Will.

Will is another incredibly talented and amazing person who I'm fortunate to be able to call a friend. Will is passionate about a lot of things. What may surprise you, though, is that he is passionate about haiku.

What happens when two incredibly talented people combine their talents?

Magic. That's what.

Monster Haiku is the collaborative effort of Rachel and Will. It combines their passions into a super adorable book that is perfect for the monster lover of any age. Including me. Definitely me.

You guys, I love this book. It's entirely too adorable for words.

But it's not just adorable, it's for a good cause.

Rachel and Will are selling a limited number of Monster Haiku books, as well as posters and cards. All proceeds will benefit the March of Dimes.

Neither Rachel nor Will have kids, but they are donating the proceeds from all of their hard work to the March of Dimes. That makes them superheroes in my book.

Check out Monster Haiku. IT'S FOR THE KIDS!

Cross-posted at BlogHer.

Nine Weeks

burghbaby — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 02:55:00 +0000

I planned to tell you about the "huge brick wall" on February 25th. Or, maybe later. Possibly later because how fun would it have been to unveil the news on April Fools Day and then enjoy y'all trying to figure out if I was serious or not?

Instead . . . I . . . I still can't type the words. I can't make myself say what happened because that will make it real. I don't want it to be real. I don't want to admit that the "huge brick wall" fell so hard this weekend. It fell with a million punches to the gut and it felt like my heart was being ripped out along with every ounce of joy I had left. It's gone. The "brick wall" crumbled to pieces and there's nothing left but tears.

The "brick wall" was the most poorly timed thing that has ever happened to us. And, yet, it was the most amazing and hard-fought and wanted sort of news.

He or she was so incredibly wanted.

But now it's over. Far too soon.

We're still incredibly lucky, but I wish with all my heart that we had been given the chance to be luckier.

Snowflake Cupcakes With (Not) Eat N Park Cookies On Top

burghbaby — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 01:30:11 +0000

I have a history of overachieving when it comes to the cupcakes I make for Alexis to take to school for her birthday. The flowers, the pandas, the High School Musical cupcakes, and the Hello Kitty cupcakes . . . all awesomeness, if I do say so myself. And I do.

This year I scaled things back a bit.

Which is to say, Plan A failed, so I implemented Plan B. Plan B turned out cute, though, so we won't talk about Plan A!

There's really nothing crazy involved with these Winter Wonderland / Snowflake cupcakes. They were simple chocolate cupcakes topped with blue-tinted cream cheese icing. Then I threw some sprinkles on top and finished it all off with a small snowflake sugar cookie.

About the sugar cookies, though. I found the recipe here and hated them. HATED THEM. They taste exactly like Eat N Park cookies. If you are in Pittsburgh, then you know exactly what cookie flavor I speak of. It's a love or hate thing, am I right? It seems that people either love them like Britney loves Cheetos, or are like me and think they're a decent fascimile of cardboard.

Alexis loves them.

I already told you what I think about them.

I still ate something like a dozen of them. They're Eat N Park Smiley Cookies without the hassle of going to Eat N Park! I had to! It's A Thing!

I know. It makes no sense.

But perhaps you are a lover of Eat N Park Smiley Cookies. If that's the case, hooboy do I have the recipe for you! They were actually pretty simple to make as the cookie dough is a good consistency for cut out cookies. It's a little thick and bakes up stiff enough to be used as a cupcake topper (obviously).

Not Eat N Park Smiley Cookies (But Pretty Darn Close)

3 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
2 sticks unsalted butter, softened
1 cup sugar
1 large egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1. In a medium bowl, mix together the flour and baking powder

2. In a separate larger bowl, combine the butter and sugar with a mixer until it's light and fluffy. Be sure to periodically scrape the sides of the bowl. It took my little hand mixer about four minutes to get the job done.

3. Add the egg and vanilla and continue to mix for another minute or so.

4. Slowly add the dry ingredients, continuing to run the mixer at low speed.

5. Place the dough on the counter and knead it by hand for a few minutes. You want to make sure the flour is thoroughly incorporated.

6. Place the dough in the fridge for one hour.

7. Once the dough has cooled, remove it from the fridge and knead thoroughly until the dough is easy to work with. (It took me about five minutes to get the dough soft enough to roll out.)

8. Roll the dough out, do your cookie cutter thing, lather, rinse, repeat.

9. Bake the cookies at 350 degrees for approximately 8 to 10 minutes.

10. Allow the cookies to cool on the cookie sheet for about a minute. The carefully move them to a wire rack to cool the rest of the way.

The only thing about these sugar cookies is that they aren't all that . . . sugary. Juts like Eat N Park Smiley Cookies, they require icing to taste right. I adapted the Royal Icing recipe that I found here.

Royal Icing

4 cups powdered sugar
3 tablespoons meringue powder (you can find it at Michael's, JoAnne's, Hobby Lobby, etc.)
1/2-3/4 cup warm water

1. Combine the powdered sugar and meringue powder in a large mixing bowl.

2. Slowly add the warm water and beat on medium speed until stiff peaks begin to form. Add more powdered sugar or water as necessary to adjust the consistency. You want a "runny" icing if you plan to flood the cookies and a thicker one if you are going to try to draw intricate design with it. (Hint: the bright color on Smiley Cookies is flooded icing while the smile and eyes are done using a much thicker consistency.)

3. Royal Icing hardens when exposed to air, so work quickly and be sure to cover any portion that you don't plan to use immediately.

Whoever Taught Her to Cross Her Eyes Is Not My Friend

burghbaby — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 04:27:00 +0000

Spring in the Middle of Winter

burghbaby — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 00:16:27 +0000

I'm Too Cool For Homework

burghbaby — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 04:16:39 +0000

I am so not cut out for the Parenting a School-Aged Kid thing.

At all.

I can't make it through a parents email without rolling my eyes.

Parent Association Meetings lead to violent thoughts floating through my mind. (Most of them involve me scheming ways to make that parent who never stops talking shut up. No matter how boring the meeting is, the rudeness of that person talking through it is always worse.)

And then there's homework.

Yes, homework.

Alexis is in kindergarten, and yet she has homework every single night. Is it just me, or is that crazy? I seem to remember kindergarten as being all fun and games, unless we're talking about that whole shoe tying thing because I couldn't seem to figure that out. When I was the last man standing on Can't Tie My Shoes Island, there was nothing fun about it. Still, other than that, kindergarten was FUN.

Alexis' kindergarten is nowhere near as cool as mine was. Or maybe it is and they just make the kids take the torture home. That could be the case. Anyway, every Monday she brings home a folder filled with worksheets that have to be completed and returned on Friday. She also has a weekly reading list to complete and a big monthly project to work on. I don't actually mind the reading list and projects because those tasks aren't the most painful tasks on earth. Her homework is, though.

So, four nights per week -- homework. Super lame, boring, annoying homework. And don't even ask Alexis what she thinks about it. She's even more frustrated by it than I am.

Most of the time it takes all of fourteen seconds for her to finish each worksheet, but that's only after she has spent half an hour whining and crying about how she doesn't want to do homework. It would be easier to fight through the whining if I thought the homework was a good use of her time, but I don't. Most of the worksheets are things that she's known how to do for years now. I once mentioned that fact to her teacher and Alexis ended up with "special" homework that was actually challenging (and interesting!) for a while, but it took far longer than fourteen seconds to complete. So when her teacher suddenly started slacking on the specialized homework, I let it go. I'd rather the worksheets be boring and quick than worthwhile but time-consuming.

Because, you know, I'm not cut out for the Parenting a School-Aged Kid thing.

I'm starting to understand why some parents do homework for their kids. I could knock that stuff out in under a minute. Alexis would be happy, I would be happy, everybody wins!

Homework sucks. Especially in kindergarten.

Yep. Still My Favorite.

burghbaby — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 02:35:42 +0000

As Alexis reached for the door handle, time slowed down just enough for me to catch the litte WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE YEAH out of the corner of my eye. I knew what was about to happen.

"Hey, Alexis. Did you remember to grab your money?" I asked. She didn't really need to have her money with her to go to dance class, but I knew my words would stop her in her tracks. Her little hand pushed the doorknob down, paused, and then pulled away from the door without opening it.

*KA-BLAM*

A puddle of fur sprawled out on the floor. Max's face said, "I meant to do that," but everything else about his demeanor said, "WTH? I've done that a million times and it always works!"

Max's favorite way of sneaking out of the house is to wait for Alexis to approach the basement door. Just as she grabs the doorknob, he takes off at a full run and dashes through a narrow opening before Alexis can figure out that she's been played for a fool. That time, though, the door didn't open, so the cat splatted into the door.

And that's EXACTLY why he's my favorite.

*************************************************************

To be perfectly honest, Max is kind of a demanding little jerk. He'll follow you around launching himself at your legs if he wants picked up, forever leaving your pants with a fur stripe that makes it look like you're wearing orange and white Uggs. Max meows loudly when he wants you to pet him to the point that your ears begin to ring. He is willing to shove his way into pretty much any situation. In fact, during Alexis' birthday party, he risked life and limb by walking through a herd of obnoxious kids because he wanted to be in the family room and he didn't much care if there was anyone in his way.

His most ridiculous habit, however, is his nightly ritual. He insists on spooning with me every night when I go to bed. It's crazy adorabe that he wants to spoon, truly, but he thinks it needs to be done under the covers. He jumps onto my pillow as I climb into bed, and then sits on my head until I lift the blankets for him. He then quickly crawls into his spot, curls up in a ball, and falls asleep purring, but only after he has SAT ON MY HEAD. And if I don't lift the blankets for him, he'll keep sitting on my head, occasionally shoving a paw into my eye. He's all, "I know you're awake. What do you mean you're not? WAKE UP, BEYOTCH." One of these days, I'm pretty sure he's going to manage to get a claw stuck in my eyeball and he'll probably pluck it out and walk around with it, kind of like an eyeball shish kabob.

It's a good thing he's cute.

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Obviously, Max has no respect for boundaries. He thinks the entire house is his kingdom and he positively refuses to be banned from any spot in it. I have tried EVERYTHING to break him of getting on top of the kitchen counters. Wait. I take that back. I haven't tried breaking his neck to see if that will get him to stop, but I have tried EVERYTHING ELSE.

Water with vinegar in it? Pshaw. He laughs in the face of my water bottle.

Throwing a can filled with pennies at him? He thinks you're paying him his allowance.

Aluminum foal? LOOK! IT'S SO SHINY! I CAN SEE MYSELF!

If Max wants to be in a spot in the house, he will go there. That's all there is to it.

See?

I don't know why he thought it was a good idea to jump into a 4" by 6" hole, I just know that he did it. Then he stayed there long enough for me to grab the camera.

But not much longer than that.

And THAT is why he is my favorite cat. It's fun watching Karma slap him around.