Once upon a time, there was a magical princess who could not eat or drink anything without it making an…unpleasant reappearance a short time later. She was sad and malnourished.

Then, a magical prince, called zofran came and saved the day. The princess could eat and drink again…and was slightly less malnourished.

The end…of the best story that I’ve heard in quite awhile.

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Last week I heard what might possibly have been the best news I’ve ever heard, ever.  I’m on cloud nine about the news.

But at the same time, I spend every spare moment obsessing about the news.  I believe I have sprouted approximately nine million new gray hairs in the last week alone.  Am currently driving poor husband crazy.

But, if this all works out (please, please PLEASE, work out) I will embrace every gray hair and the crazy husband will be OK too.

I ask for all the good thoughts and vibes and anything else good that you can send me.

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I love to cook. I mean, for crying out loud, my blog picture is me in an apron. The title has food in it.

I love to cook…but I never seem to have time to cook. D and I both work pretty demanding jobs. When we get home, it seems like the stuff like laundry and making sure the house is not filthy take the hours between work and bet. And darn it, I’m not going to bed without relaxing for awhile first. I work too hard for that….so yes, relaxing trumps cooking, you can call me lazy if you want.

However, we do like to eat. More often than not our dinners are carefully prepared, well-made food….from the local take-out places. Luckily, even though our house is in the middle of the boondocks, we aren’t that far from town, where there are several places that have take-out and aren’t fast food. The problem with that is that the amount of money that gets spent on that is getting kind of ridiculous. I don’t mind paying to go out to eat, but I’m getting tired of spending money on food to take home.

So…I need help….I need recipes that don’t take forever to prepare….I am actually a really good cook. I’m not saying that to be conceited, but most of the things that I know how to cook are total “foodie” things that are fiddly and have lots of different steps….no bueno for when you come in after a day of chasing energetic preschoolers.

Give me your recipes! I am desperate! Don’t reduce us to eating goldfish crackers and apples for dinner (not that that ever happened or anything….)!

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I wish I could be far more eloquent on my foray back into blogging, but I can already tell that I won’t be, so bear with me.

First of all, I landed my dream job…it’s wonderful, challenging, fun, and a lot of really, really hard work. I fall into bed every week night usually before 9:00.  My former college self is somewhere in a corner scowling at me, but you can’t help it when you are just really, really, REALLY tired.

Married life is awesome….even though we’d been together 6 years before we tied the knot, it really is different now. I don’t feel the slightest bit guilty when I nag him to vacuum or take out the trash. Ahh, wedded bliss.

Now, onto my next bit of blog housekeeping….good old fashioned unsolicited advice…but this is important because it has been nagging at me over the last week or two, especially the last few days….

So here it is….

If there is something that you want to ask someone, something personal, maybe….you probably just shouldn’t do it unless you already know the answer and you’re just killing time.

You see, someone asked me something recently, and it just happened to be the numero uno question that I have gotten overly sensitive to lately. (For various reasons, some more pleasant than others.)  (Plus, it was a question that anyone with common sense just wouldn’t ask.) I answered as vaguely as I could, and I thought of a million snappy comebacks after the fact, which witty as they were, probably just would have made the situation worse anyway.

So, there you go…my cryptic, vague, unsolicited advice for you. Don’t thank me, just use it….and share it.

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I am not a good blogger. That is to say, I am not good at keeping up with a blog. I know I always promise to reform and post more, but you know the old adage, “life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”

I do, this time, have a decent excuse for not blogging.

You see, I went from being MISS Burntsouffles, to MRS. Burntsouffles.

That’s right, internet…D and I are OFFICIALLY MARRIED.  After six years…it’s time.

Our wedding went from what was supposed to be a few people in a garden to lots of people in a church…with the big fancy dress and three different wedding cakes.

I don’t regret a single second of it…you only get married once!

So I hope that my wedding planning and such excuses me from being an absent blogger.

For what it’s worth, I thought about posting…..I just never got down to it!

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I strive to be a non-judgmental person.  Luckily for me, I LOVE being around people, so it helps that I’ve had the privilege of interacting with people from all walks of life.

That being said, no one is perfect, and it is impossible not to think a “judgey” thought  every now and again.

So here begins my “judgey” thought.  I guess we could call it a news commentary, but in all honesty it is probably just a judgmental thought.

Like many people, I have been following the story of the CA teacher and his student that became romantically involved. He was 41, and she was 18.  So, a 23 year age difference. I’m going to put it out there that, while unconventional, I don’t think the age difference is what is so distasteful with this case.  I am 23 years old. Many of my closest friends are in their 40s. D is 30. And of course, I have friends my own age.  I don’t relate better to my friends my own age than I do my 40something friends. The 7 year age difference between D and I has never been an issue. I think that, for the most part, age is just a number. You are who you are, regardless of your age.

However,  I’m not entirely sure what an 18 year old who is still in HIGH SCHOOL and a 41 year old man could possibly have  in common.  It’s not the age difference.  If someone my age was dating a 46 year old, I don’t think too many eyebrows would be raised.  It’s the life experience. Obviously, at 23 years old, I don’t have tons of life experience. Nowhere near as much as someone who is in their 40s. But, that being said, at only 5-6 years older than someone who is 18, I have tons more life experience…graduated high school, went to college, lived on my own, graduated from college, worked full time, traveled some, bought a house, and so on, and so forth. I would say that is fairly comparable to my peers. It is not, however, comparable, to someone who is 18 years old. When I was 18 I had just graduated from high school. I’d traveled a little bit, but I had never truly been on my own until I moved away to go to college. This girl was still in high school.

Still, I’m not sure that a lack of life experience is a fatal blow to a relationship. As I previously wrote, D is 7 years older than me. When we met, I was a few weeks away from 18, and he was 24. Obviously, he had more life experience than me.  He still does, because obviously, he is much farther along career-wise than I am, and there are other things too that I will admit that he knows more than me about. (I will let it be known that there are also things that I know more about than him, haha…but he knows that, trust me.)  Obviously, our age gap isn’t as big as that of the couple in question, but as I said, I don’t think that is a major issue unless you want to make it one.

The worst of this, to me (and I’m sure to most people), is the fact that this man had a FAMILY. He had a wife and children, and not only have they lost their husband and father, I’m sure they’ve been terribly embarrassed.  I think it would be one thing if a single 41 year old guy and an 18 year old wanted to get together. If he was divorced and had kids, fine….but to abandon your family?

Which brings me to my next point…why would you even want a guy like that? If someone will leave their spouse and family for you, what is stopping them from doing it to you? Nothing. What in the world was this girl thinking?

I’m sure the answer to that question is that she WASN’T.  And honestly, who hasn’t done a stupid thing when they were 18? That’s kind of the beauty of being 18, right? You can do stupid stuff and no one judges you too harshly. I know I did plenty of dumb things when I was 18.  (Running away with a married man wasn’t one of them, though.) Anyway, my gut feeling is that this girl just wasn’t thinking and while I do think that she definitely played her part in this; I believe it was because she was 18 and not old enough to know better. (I realize that I am not that much older…but just enough to know better.)

I don’t know what to say about him. I think it’s despicable to leave your wife and children. But, quite honestly, if you do stuff like this, then they are probably better off without you.  I think that 41 is more than old enough to know better, so he doesn’t get off quite as easily as his (now ex) girlfriend.

As I’m sure everyone has heard now, it turns out that he had previously been involved with another former student, and is now in all kinds of hot water. I can’t say that I feel too sorry for him.  He and the most recent girlfriend have parted ways, so apparently she gained enough sense to see the light.

Ok…taking off my judgey pants…I try not to wear them too often, so they are a little tight.

What do you think?

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I feel like it is all that I write about lately, but I am sick…again.

Wednesday I began to feel like I was coming down with a little cold. No big deal, got out and did some yard work, determined not to let it get the best of me.

Thursday came and confirmed that I did indeed have a cold, but I really didn’t feel bad, so off to work I went. I did fine until after lunch…I held on til the very end of the day, but ended up going home an hour early.   I went pretty much straight to bed, figuring that I’d feel better after some rest.

Ha…Friday comes and luckily, I was off work for the holiday. I already had a follow-up appointment with my Dr. for the LAST sucky thing that happened, a ruptured cyst, which I did not chronicle here as I am getting tired of writing about the ways my health is escaping me.  My Dr. took one look at me, declared that I had a sinus infection, wrote me a script for antibiotics, and then I was on my merry way.  I was very certain that once I got the antibiotics in me, I would start to feel much better, if not by Friday night, then surely by Saturday.

Saturday proved me wrong.  Instead of getting better, my temperature began to rise and it has stayed there.  For a special added bonus, I have developed that barking-like-a-seal cough that is oh so pleasant to hear and to experience. NOT.  Sunday brought no relief, and I spent the majority of the day lying down…on the couch, in the bed, in the bathroom floor…a good time was had by all. NOT.

Technically, we are now into the wee hours of Monday, and my temperature has not been “normal” since Friday.  I have been ingesting massive (but Dr. approved) amounts of ibuprofen, which brings the fever down to a manageable 99 degrees, but never “normal”. At the most it was 103.something or other, but it generally stays between 101-102.  After the fever reducer wears off it goes back up, and doesn’t come back down, until after taking more medicine. Obviously, the antibiotics haven’t done a whole lot for me.

At this point, I’m not sure what to expect in the morning. HOPEFULLY, I will turn over, go to sleep, and feel better. If I don’t, I guess I will go back to the Dr., because if I don’t, D and my Mom will both have kittens about it.

*Sigh*…I know this was a boring post.  I just needed to ride the suck train for a few minutes and whine about being sick for the bazillionth time this school year.  Luckily, we have tomorrow off…but here’s hoping I am well enough to go back to work bright and early Tuesday morning.

And now, I am done with my pity party.

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It has been brought to my attention that “Titanic” will be playing in 3D in theaters next week. Obviously, I HAVE to see this. Oh yes,  I could buy the DVD and watch it at home, but it wouldn’t be in 3D, now would it? And, hello, 23 year old Leo was HOT.  And Kate Winslet? Hello, she was hot and not pencil thin…I mean, we could be sisters. (I’m joking…but only sort of.)

Since I “have” to see this, I have come to the realization that this will require some ….convincing to get D to go with me.

So, I have decided to begin Operation: BEST FIANCE EVER. Objective? To score enough points that D will take me to the movie with a minimum of eye-rolling and NO comments about how we could “just buy the DVD and watch it at home.”

Let’s see…how many points have I earned so far?

Well…last week D cut down a bunch of bushes in our yard and I schlepped them across the yard to make a big burn pile. +10 points.

I went with D to buy a lawn mower even though I didn’t really care about the lawn mower…and I only whined once about what it cost. +20 points

I arranged for D to borrow a trailer to pick up the lawn mower. +5 points

I sat outside and crafted while D mowed the grass, instead of taking a nap. +5 points

I surprised D by making a front door wreath and planting some flowers in pots. +20 points.

So…it would appear that I am up +60 points so far. If D were to chime in I am sure that he would say that some points deserve to be taken away for “yelling” on the phone and rolling my eyes when he suggested going to Lowe’s for the three millionth time in less than two weeks.

But seeing as how I made up the point system, I have made the executive decision that points cannot be taken away once earned.

Points are redeemable for up to 1 month after earning them, meaning that the time we went to see “Breaking Dawn, Part 1″ last November in no way counts as redeemable points in D’s favor.  (Trust me, he DID earn points for that…but he already spent them.)  The fact that I also asked to see “The Hunger Games” also does not count against me, as that is a movie that could be mutually enjoyed, whereas I’m almost certain that D has exactly no interest in watching “Titanic”.

Now you may be saying to yourself, “Self, that Rachel girl is pretty smart. But 60 points is not enough for ‘Titanic 3D’. You had better work harder.”

My answer to you is that I already thought of that, and this is my plan:

Watch a movie of D’s choice without complaining, sighing, or rolling my eyes. +10 points

Refrain from giving sarcastic answer when asked question like “What are you doing?”, when D can clearly see what I am doing as he is looking right at me. (Obviously, this has come up a time or two before.) +5 points

Refrain from eating D’s “secret” cookie/cereal stash that he thinks I do not know about. +10 points

Refrain from saying things like “IN YOUR FACEEE!” When I have beaten the pants off of slightly come out ahead of D in Mario Kart Wii (or, really any game…). +20 points (As this will be extremely difficult.)

If I can keep these things up for, oh, another week or so, I will have 105 points…which is obviously enough for any event of my choice, but particularly “Titanic:3D”…which, come to think of it totally has a naked woman in it, so there is no reason for D to complain about seeing it in the first place.

But since I am THE BEST FIANCE EVER, I will not mention that minor detail, and earn and spend my points cheerfully.

(+50 points)

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Today at school we had a pep rally of sorts for the kids, and all I could think about was how different it was from the lame-o pep rallies we had when I was in high school. (Which was not very long ago, even though my kids at school believe it was sometime during the last ice age.)

Our pep rallies consisted of the band maybe playing some music (I was in the band…longtime, hardcore nerd right here), the cheerleaders doing some sort of routine, and the football players running out and doing…I don’t know, standing there? I don’t exactly remember.

Anyway, our pep rally today started with some music…”Apple Bottom Jeans” by T-Pain. Not some “kidz bop” version either…the real thing.  I will confess, I do love that song. Mostly because it’s fun to dance to.  Have I ever told you that I love to dance? I am spectacularly uncoordinated, but dude; I can pop, lock, and drop it. Unfortunately, my mad dancing skills are only suited for songs like “Apple Bottom Jeans”.  I’ll never be on “Dancing with the Stars”, le sigh.

That being said, I was  surprised to hear it in an elementary school pep rally.  Don’t get me wrong, it is well documented that I am no prude, but it was just  funny to hear a gym full of third, fourth and fifth graders singing “she turned around and gave that big booty a slap.”

They also threw t-shirts into the crowd…along with beads. Between the music and the bead throwing, it felt like I was back in college!  But my 18 year old self would have hung her head in embarrassment and despair if she had overheard me complaining about the noise level to my colleagues. In defense of 23 year old Rachel, I was not complaining about the volume of the music, but more about the screaming of the children. Kids are so…shrill.  I was convinced that my eardrums would literally start bleeding. (FYI, they did not, but I did briefly consider puncturing them with something sharp to MAKE IT STOP   because again, SHRILL.)

I still love to get out and have a good time, but more often than not, my big weekend plans are things like shopping for house stuff and then maybe dinner and drinks.  And lots of the time, we end up at home watching tv on the couch. (18 year old Rachel is off in a corner crying.)

So while I’ve grown up a lot, and become infinitely less cool than 18 year old me had once hoped, I’m actually extremely glad that things turned out the way they have. At the age of 23, I own my own car and home, have earned a Bachelor’s degree, have a steady job, and; while I may not know exactly what I want to do in life yet (no, I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up), I have enough confidence (or cockiness, your choice) in myself to know that whatever I decide, I can do it.

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I’ve kept pretty quiet about it here on ye olde blog, but D and I had searched for a house FOR MONTHS. We saw dozens of houses that felt like hundreds. We wrote contracts on two that did not work out.  I began to despair that we would never find a house, and that we would get old and gray and have children and grandchildren but no house. (Not that I’m over-dramatic in the least.)

Luckily, we had a WONDERFUL, patient Realtor who was willing to look and look and LOOK with us. Seriously people, lots of houses.  He was great at diffusing the personality differences between D and I. Now, I love D, but he is EXTREMELY PICKY.  I am…just not.

Oh sure, I had a basic list of stuff that I wanted in a house, but I was not put off by minor details. I am extremely easy to please.  I’m no psychologist, but really what it all boils down to is that D and I have completely opposite personalities. I am so laid back I am practically horizontal and D is…not.  I take most stuff in life with a smile and a shrug and move on. D finds one small detail and worries about it. I don’t mean to make him sound like he is not fun, because he totally is. Just different than me, and that is a good thing. (Oh sure, it drives me crazy sometimes, but really, I love how different we are.)

Anyway, D and I were having a really, really hard time finding something that fit the bill. We put a contract on one only to decide that it just wasn’t the house for us after all. So, on a whim, our Realtor took us to see this one house…we loved it instantly, but it was priced at  the top of our price range, so we made ourselves keep looking. And looking. And looking. We found another house that we liked and put in an offer on it, only to find out that it already had multiple offers on it. So, we looked some more. All the while, we kept coming back to the house that was just a little too expensive.

Then, one day, we found out that they had significantly dropped the price. I wanted to write an offer right then, but D still wanted to look. (Do you see a pattern here?) Finally, after looking at several sub-par houses, I said something along the lines of “All these other houses are crap! I want that house!” He felt the same way, and agreed that we would put in an offer.

Unfortunately, the house got another offer on it. THE VERY SAME DAY THAT WE MADE OUR OFFER. I said a lot of really nice words, took a deep breath, and proposed that we put in an offer anyway.  We had no way of possibly knowing what the other offer was, so for all we knew it was completely worthless.

Luckily, after a few days of up-in-the-air uncertainty, we found out that our best offer on the house was accepted. Woohoo! Then we moved on to our home inspection, where a few minor issues were found. Luckily, the seller agreed to fix them, leaving us with nothing to do except wait for the closing date. I think that was quite possibly the longest month of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I know that as things go, our escrow was fairly short and painless. I’ve heard a lot of stories of people who had long drawn out escrows which I know would be the ultimate torture.

All in all, it only took us about an hour (and approximately a googolplex of paperwork) to close on the house and make it officially ours.  The best part was probably signing the deed (or title, or whatever it was called ). It read something like “D, an unmarried man, and Rachel, an unmarried woman…” which cracked me up because now it is forever on file that D and I are co-habitating libertines.

But, for what it’s worth, the words on that piece of paper will soon not be true any longer because….

D and I are officially planning the fastest wedding in the West  South. Go ahead and mark your calendars!

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