I have been soaking in a book by D.A. Carson called “Scandalous: The Cross and Resurrection of Jesus”; soaking in it, reading it slowly, rereading certain passages. The book has had a profound affect on me in that I am amazed and surprised anew at the great cost of the cross. But it’s more than the cost that has impacted me, it’s the beautiful necessity of the cross(Rom. 3:21-26 especially). Carson does an incredible job of helping the reader see that everything we are thankful for, everything that we enjoy, every person that we have the pleasure to love, every thing and all of it, is directly tied back to the cross. I don’t think I can really capture the impact that it’s had on me except to tell you to go and get the book. It’s a thin book, but oh so powerful to those who are ‘searching’ its pages.

At the same time I’m reading some of James Durham’s sermons from Isaiah 53 and I have just been crushed by my sinful rebellion and offered hope in my Great Savior. The cross is hitting me in many areas and is driving me to love God and love my neighbors in a new way. I hate that I get so focused on me, me, me that I can’t see what God is doing in me and around me.

Tonight I was just moved to tears in prayer over my children in confession of my sins in their lives. I share my confession with you in hope that it may encourage you to recenter on the cross in any and every area that Jesus’ blood needs to run.

I confess that I get angry when my children distract me from me.
I confess that I get angry with pop-tarts left on counters.
I confess that I get angry with their high pitched screams when they are playing.
I confess that I do not love them with the Word during correction or encouragement.
I confess that I do not slow down to teach them how to navigate through life the way Jesus modeled.
I confess that I do not encourage their strengths and work with them through their weaknesses.
I confess that I do not lead them in celebrating Jesus everyday.
I confess that I do not show them that Jesus matters more to me than anything or anyone.

I confess that I am a wicked sinner, saved by grace, and needing the cross every moment of my life.

Work has postponed my first post until tomorrow.

Leaders Who Last is a book written by Pastor Dave Kraft.  I saw a clip of Mark Driscoll interviewing him not long ago and Driscoll described him as an older mentor that really put him on the right track when the wheels began to come off of his ministry.  I love learning from older men so I ordered the book right away.  I wasn’t disappointed.

I read through the book very quickly and was convicted and challenged in many areas…so much so that I needed to read it again.  I am going to blog things I learned from the book, not necessarily provide you a ‘book review’.  If you want a review I would say “it’s awesome, go read it, primarily for leaders but most everyone could benefit from his insightfulness”.  I’ll break each post down by chapter and will stick to my notes.  My hope is that it will encourage you to read the book yourself and at least learn from what I learned.

I’ll start if off with the introduction tomorrow and my plan is to blog each day.  We will see how it goes.

I have had the great privilege of several godly mentors in my life. They have been and continue to be men of courage and integrity. Before moving to Macon I had the great privilege of working with Pastor Ben Orchard – I miss our times together greatly. He taught me many things in our two years together, but one of them has come to me more often than the rest.

He once said, “Patrick, your greatest strength is also your greatest weakness.” Now, whenever some one praises me in some area of my life I automatically begin looking for my weakness in it. I am working on a blog series called, “Lessons from Leader’s Who Last”, a book by Dave Kraft and I realized something tonight. One of my greatest strengths is that I’m fairly even tempered and can adapt easily to most new situations (look at the last two years of my life to see that clearly). Tonight I realized that my great weakness in that is I can become very comfortable in a situation and not desire to change out of it.

Kraft was challenging me in being a visionary leader and I realized that I have a lot of work to do in this area. As I sat brainstorming and examining my life I realized the strength of adaptability and the weakness of a lack of vision for what could be. This revelation is perfect timing because God has me working with a great visionary leader in Keith Watson.  I continue to be blessed by God’s guiding as He forms me into the man that He desires.  This will become a new prayer and area of examination for me.

What is your greatest strength? You will probably find your greatest weakness there as well.

I only have a few hours in the evening to do anything outside of work and I love those hours.  Dinner with the family, conversations with friends, time to read and reflect on Jesus and His work in my life and in those around me.  I think I can say that most of my past transitions have been good ones.  This one is no different.  Thank you Jesus for your love for me, thank you for crystalizing your call on my life, thank you for this job, and thank you for my Bride.  I am genuinely excited about what is ahead.

There is much to say and this should really be several blog posts, but it will just be one.

Grace Giving started when the Boudro’s, Segalla’s, and McConnell’s sat in an RV talking about what could be done on behalf of the orphan.  We dreamed and God helped us see His vision of what could be.  An organization seemed to form out of mist and vapor.  A board was established and I was hired as the Executive Director.  I had no idea what I was doing and didn’t do anything very well, but God blessed us in spite of us.  This August it will be 2 years since we sat in that RV at that campsite.  The economy has changed, but our passion for the orphan has not.  It was recently unanimously decided  to transition me out of a paid position in order to better leverage our funds to  help in Ethiopia and Uganda.  After my position came to an end I was voted onto the Board of Directors where I now serve.  I love GGI, our mission and the men and women I get to serve with.  I am thankful that God has seen fit to allow me to partner with them in this mission and continue to gratefully do so.

With that transition it would have left me with a part time position at New City.  I LOVE New City.  I wanted to find a part time position that would allow me to continue serving on paid staff at New City.  I get to be involved in so many areas at New City that I could not imagine working, at least partially, at New City.  I began looking at several different job opportunities and nothing seemed to click for me.  Too little pay, too many hours, etc.  We prayed.  God answered, but not in the way we thought He would.

I was recently approached by a company to consider a full time position as a project manager.  It would meet our needs financially and allow us to continue to live in Macon and be involved at New City.  Jennifer and I prayed and talked it over.  I met with my Pastor to get wisdom from him in this transition.  The last thing I wanted to do is hurt the church that I love.  Keith assured me that I would not.

I accepted the position and started my first day…today.

God is AMAZING!!  I will continue to serve Grace Giving as a Board Member and I will continue to serve at New City and all the while support my family.  These are the moments that I am reminded how little faith I have.

So, depending on who you are, you may hear that I am no longer working at Grace Giving or at New City.  Know that I love them both and continue to serve thankfully.  I think very highly of and love both men who lead them – Dale Boudro at GGI and Keith Watson at New City. God has simply answered a prayer in a way that no one saw coming.  Ain’t that just like God.

I was just sitting at my computer catching up on Facebook and Tweets when I saw that there is going to be a 5k Run in 4 weeks here in Macon, Midnight Madness.

Patrick:  I wonder if I can do that?
Jennifer: I don’t see why not?
Patrick: But it’s in 4 weeks…a 5k in four weeks?
Jennifer: You can do that.
Emma: Dad, I’m a little concerned right now.
Patrick: Why?
Emma: Because I’ve never heard you say “I can’t do anything”.
Patrick: Well, some things I can’t do.
Emma: Stop saying that, it seriously is freaking me out.

This conversation was funny because we just had my Elder Assessment where we discussed one of my weaknesses being that I take on anything.  I don’t say no to much and feel like I can do anything.  Even my daughter notices my weakness…Sigh.

Listen to the Song

some are reaching few are there
wandering from a heros chair
some are scared to fly so high
well this is how we have to try

have no envy and no fear
have no envy
no fear

brother brother we all see
your hiding out so painfully
see yourself come out to play
a lovers rain will wash away

your envy and your fear
so have no envy
no fear

when your sister turns to leave
only when shes most in need
take away the cause of pain
by showing her were all the same.

have no envy
no fear
have no envy
and no fear

every day we try to find
we search our hearts and our minds
the place we used to call our home
cant be found when were alone

so have no envy
no fear
have no envy
no fear