上個月，有個來訪的朋友對我說: 「這個星期在我遇過的朋友之中，感到妳是最來自香港這個地方的。」
我說: 「真的嗎!!? 有時入商埸，有店員都會同我講英文。」
但我也明她的直覺。在語言/身體氣場上我可能不像「一般」的香港人，但我住在新界，與這個大地的聯繫和愛可能比一般香港人直接。無論出外去多遠，我很清在地球之中這是我家和能量點。

星期六的滿月女人圈也給我確認，我靈修發展必需要和這片本地有關係。除了在旺角、尖沙咀、灣仔教學，我也要一腳扎根在香港的大自然環境，帶人和大地連接，回歸於心。

林村河是個老友，當年住較竂下時也常常到後山的河。這次我們去了比我平日更上游的地方。在之後分享過程中我也好像能夠更加接近某些情緒的源頭。當晚我坐的方位是北方，在太平洋西北土著傳統中是代表冬天和長老的智慧。我近日搬回老家，當晚的分享也和我家族傳承大有關連。

當天大家在河邊唱了這首歌:
The River is flowing / Flowing and growing
The River is flowing / Back to the Sea
Mother Earth carry me / Your Child I will always be
Mother Earth carry me / Back to the Sea*

老家在吐露港，也是林村河最後流入大海的地方。
很多謝 Gracelynn Lau, Karuna 和 Larana 的安排和導引，各位姊妹的 hold space. <3 讓我們更勇敢地接立自己，大膽地愛與包容。

——————-

> 「女人滿月圈」  每個月都有聚會。有興趣可以留意 明月光譜 的面書。 以上的相片是阿敏拍的。

*”The River Is Flowing” was a chant written in the 1970s by Sun Bear, a member of the Chippewa Tribe. He was born in the White Earth Reservation in the North of the United States on 31 August 1926 and died on 19 June 1992 at the age of 66 in Spokane, Washington. – Additional verses were added by E. Barrie Kavash in her 2005 novel “Sacred Cave” which is set in North America’s prehistoric southeast.

為什麼這樣簡單的練習可以很快入靜? 原來我們的心有個磁場，而它的形狀和流動正正就是我們天地椿的途徑。

心的能量場有個起源點，可以名為 tiny space of the heart” (心的微小空間)。這就是圖上花托 (doughnut 形狀) 的交叉點。世界很多靈性傳統都會嘗試用不同的方式將意識進入這個小小的空間，例如蘇菲舞, 西藏心意圖像, 等。我們做天地樁時，不知不覺就會會帶領意識經過這一點。怪不得這麼容易入靜!

        .

這些圖是來至 HeartMath Institute。 他們不但能夠測量心臟的磁場，還會強調一樣名 “coherence” 的狀態。簡單來說，coherence 就是我們身體和意識的配合，腦部和心的協調。他們有部機可以測量這個指標, 是十分好玩的…

天地椿不但引導我們身心協調, 同時也引導我們連結地球的能量陣。我們心臟有個磁場，地球也有個磁場。Earthing (接地氣) 就是從大地吸收負離子、釋放正離子的過程。地球的能量場遠遠比我們的大，就譲大自然調理我們的不平衡吧!

除了物理上和宇宙有交流，在很多靈性傳統中，天和地是很重要的參照點。近日我去了亞馬遜，發現美洲很多土著部落做任何儀式前會先感謝 Father Sky (天上父親) 和 Mother Earth (大地之母) ,與他們連接起來。而天地樁正正就是引導我們感到自己在天地之間的存世，在一個經驗的層面得到一個天地合的感覺…

Tomorrow I am tutoring someone during lunch hour. I can feel my throat tense up at the memory of pushing to be heard over the lunch crowds. Honestly, teaching during lunch hour is not my first choice, but with exams coming up (and my desire to come into town only twice a week) – logistically this makes the most sense.

Reiki has an interesting symbol that you can call upon in times like this – when in worry about something in the future, we can send energy to that particular junction in time. Worried about arriving at Lima in the middle of night? Poof! Here’s a packet of energy to smooth that way. Worried about the flat situation when the lease runs out? Poof! Let the universe take care of it.

As I am doing this, I’m realizing that perhaps the greatest effects of this may not even be in the future, but it’s actually about changing and healing myself in the present. Before, I was carrying a huge amount of tension and worry whenever I thought about the upcoming tutorial. Now, I’m letting the universe take care of it, so I’m relaxed and ready – and who doesn’t attract good energy when in tune with the universe?

I also like the non-specific nature of reiki. There are other techniques in which one can mentally rehearse the ideal scenario : I can visualise myself in the same scene, relaxed, grounded; feel how my vocal cords are relaxed, my mind is clear. With some systems, you can even go further – imagine the café being empty, the volume of the crowds turned down. Who knows? The universe might even arrange for the café to be empty that day just for you. But what I love about this is that it doesn’t ask for a specific outcome and it specifically addresses my relationship with my fear. It is an act of utter trust: both in myself and the universe, that we will be in a state of harmony in that specific junction in time. Vocal cords, ambiance volume – who cares about the details?

I think this is one lesson I learnt from acting: you need to leave space to surprise yourself. A director once said to me, “You don’t want to be an Olympic diver, aiming to score the perfect ten. In that scenario there is only one outcome, and you’re rehearsing to achieve that singular outcome. But instead what you want when you are acting is to let that moment surprise you. Yes, you rehearse to deepen your relationship with the text and your character, but what you are also practicing is being deeply present. Deeply present with your partner, deeply present with yourself.”

That image of the Olympian really stuck in my mind; so these days, when I catch myself mentally rehearsing a trajectory over and over again, that’s when I know: hey, there’s something wrong here. I’m pushing too hard for a specific outcome. And I giggle quietly to myself.

_________________________________
Photo: “Un Ange passe.” Taken in 大角咀.

This winter I was in quite a dark place. After performing a psychologically troubled character for a few months I was depleted. For some reason I couldn’t remember what it was like to feel healthy again. And in this space, I turned to painting. Painting is even better than writing in that it is a pure expression of emotion for me. It bypasses the need to articulate feeling in words.

As I was doing this painting, I started crying. Actually the whole painting began with the angry scribble of purple.. and somehow, in the process, the scarring and the wounding transformed into something beautiful. A title came to mind: The Red King / My love will bring you home….

Two months later, I was surprised to find that a red crystal that my friend Eve helped me get from Kauai, Hawaii was — from a certain angle, reminiscent of this painting.

I felt as if I had my breath knocked out of me. Oh my god — to see something you had painted months before. manifested in physical form, something that could be held in the hand… wow. wow. wow.

“The Red King came home! 真係咁神奇!” I wrote to Eve.

“Meant to be, darling!” Eve replied.

And with that, I burst into tears. That sensation when the universe tells you: “Hey baby, I got you. there are no coincidences and no mistakes.” woawoawoah …

Spent the afternoon painting. The odd thing is the painting was not painted this side up, but it’s more interesting this way.

上個月忙着排戲 ，忙碌起來就會在阿姨家暫住。 阿姨住旺角、 排戲在荔枝角工業區、入台在上環的黑盒裡。 在城市密集式出入了一個半個月 之後，有個很強烈和明確感覺要接觸大海。

很記得有一個暑假從巴黎留學回來 。我躺在床上聽着海浪和窗外的雨聲…. 覺得自己幸福。 我已回家了！ 巴黎沒有海洋 ，就算週末有機會到法國西部的海岸，一點親切感都沒有 。他們的大海 一望無際， 只是一條線 ， 太抽象了 ！ 我們吐露港有山有水 ， 比例比較親切 。 倫敦常常下雨 ，但他們的雨 是陰陰濕濕的，很多時候都不知道是否應該提雨傘出門 。 我們的雨是大方的，下雨就下雨 。傾盆大雨狂風暴雨，我喜歡 ！能夠在被竇裡聽着窗外的橫風橫雨是多麼幸福！

有時候要和一個地方重逢才能夠清晰確定自己的根在何處。 所以當我昨天在香港獨立電影節看到黃瑋納的作品 « 他們的海 »， 感覺非常親切。 導演拍他父母的漁民生活, 當中還找了自己的父母來飾演。 那種於大海 的情懷 我完全明白。 尤其是在這兩夫妻到馬料水的山墓掃墓那場戲。 wow! 他們行上山的距離, 之後坐在墓的平板上一起進食 ，完完全全能夠捕捉到他們的關係。 我從小就在這些山墓玩耍，甚至當它為舞台。 這部電影再次喚起我與大海連連雙扣的關係。

—————

References:

『香港現代電影節』

« 他們的海 » -黃瑋納 WONG Wai-Nap
香港 Hong Kong│2014│30min│粵語發音Cantonese│中英字幕 English Subtitle │2014 香港鮮浪潮大獎

Simply put, the Gene Keys is a narrative worldview put forth by Richard Rudd. It is a system based on the contemplation of 64 qualities — or keys, based off the I Ching (易經). Each of these keys have a shadow, gift and Siddhi aspect. So for example, let’s take gene key #34:

• shadow quality is “force” (死力) — effort that is strained and inefficiently
• gift quality is “strength” (勁) — a primal vitality that is magnetic and centered
• siddhi quality is “majesty” — movement in its most heightened, spiritual form; basically what we aim for in tai chi in the dissolution of the self into earth and sky (天人合一); the Divine channeled through human movement.

So while all 64 qualities are available to everyone, Gene Keys piggybacks off another system called Human Design, which suggests that we each have certain gifts and challenges that are more prominent to us according to the time of our birth. This is the part that can get a bit horoscopey, and the part where my brother the skeptic asked: Is it really true? Might it not just function like a Rorschach inkblot? ( 會不會只是對號入座…? )

To that I answer, yes – sure, you can see it like a Rorschach inkblot…  in that the value may be the self-narrative you craft from them. And since this system is all about raising each of these values to a more positive manifestation, there can be no wrong.  It’s a dynamic interaction where you actively contemplate — both intellectually and emotionally — these qualities in your life.

And yet — at least in my case – it seems to narratively make sense. What drew me into Human Design and then into Gene Keys was really how it seemed to affirm certain things that I had (somewhat unconsciously) been navigating towards. For those of you who know me, I am naturally a high energy person (#34). My work in the theatre and tai chi has been about learning to live in the moment (#20). My work on hands-on-healing and the theatre has been about the merging of auras (#59). As for my last prime gift, #55 … that’s a tricky one in Rudd’s book, because it’s a really long chapter about the evolution of consciousness. But I think many of you would agree that the gift/Siddhi keyword, “freedom” — is pretty descriptive of my personality.

Speaking of human and planetary evolution, this is another thing that I appreciate about the Gene Key narrative. For example, as I mentioned, one important key for me is #20 (Superficiality/Self-Assurance/Presence). This key is aboutbeing present in the now. In his book, Rudd describes how the concept of time is an evolutionary concept — insects and cats, for example, don’t have the burden of “will things turn out okay”… they just tend to challenge of the moment. It is precisely our ability to conceptualize a future that allows us to make much more complicated plans and life narratives than our furry counterparts; and yet at the same time, this places a psychological burden on us because we end up worrying. Placed in this context, when I am in the shadow frequency (e.g., stressed out about a theatre project that I don’t know whether will work out or not instead of trusting in the flow), it’s not because I am spiritually incompetent. Rather, I’m activating something with its evolutionary purpose, but which comes also with its limitations.

I think that’s enough for an introduction. I’m going to open up a section of my blog where I will specifically talk about the insights I’ve gained from the contemplation of Gene Keys. For those of you who are just starting out, check out the references. Or just chat to me — I’m happy to orientate you.

References

• “Gene Keys: Unlocking the Higher Purpose in your Life.” by Richard Rudd
  This is the book that is the foundation of the Gene Keys system. You will also need to download your own hologenetic profile — you can do so for free here if you know your time/date of birth.
• Gene Keys Hong Kong , spearheaded by Stephen Wong, has a book club and runs courses on Gene Keys. Janice, Aman and I took the “Activation Sequence” and will attend a “Venus Sequence” retreat at the end of this month.
• Gene Keys introduction:
  
• 作為中國人, 有幸能夠接觸易經的原文，了解個概念怎樣轉化以來。我用這個綱址找出自己的卦 , 看看本來的卦名，邏輯與思維。

十多年前，在家的書架讀過 “The Sugar Blues” 這本書。但是這兩個星期突如奇來決定嘗試停吃精製糖。可能因為同時不吃麩質，整個過程比我想像中容易…

Many years ago, I skimmed a book on the family bookshelf called “The Sugar Blues.” It was a book that discussed the chemical effects of refined sugar on our body, as well the cultural and political aspects of sugar throughout history. Here’s an excerpt I found on the internet, called “Refined Sugar : The Sweetest Poison of All.” It’s really worth reading.

A decade and a half later, I got around to trying to cut refined sugar from my diet. The decision was easier than I thought it would be. Inspired by my flatmate Janice, and combined with the fact that we were cutting gluten and dairy also from our diets, the whole process was easier than I thought.

Admittedly, there were a couple of things which I didn’t think through properly about this. The first was that I made this shift during during a very busy time of year. I hadn’t properly recovered from a fortnight of intense rehearsals and was in the midst of starting in a new project. This meant that I couldn’t really objectively tell what was working or what was not. So kids, if you want to do an experiment, be clear about your control variables!

I will say that I drank some fruit juice today that contained sugar by mistake and the sensation of “sugar rush” was very strong. (This is after close to two week of being sugar + gluten-free.) I watched a video the other day that discussed how as a society we favour certain types of consciousness (i.e., the “alert, productive” beta wave state), and I think the drugs that we’ve made legal — sugar, caffeine — reflect this. Sugar is definitely a drug: it’s addictive, it alters our body in ways which are not healthy for it, and it has whole industries who will fight to protect its status.

Cutting sugar definitely felt right, but without any particular logic, I decided to cut gluten, and what the hell — cut dairy too. This sort of unsystematic planning is not good. When I went to my kinesiologist, she basically told me that I was missing out protein, zinc and could do with some probiotics. Under less busy circumstances, I am generally much more in tune with my body (to the extent that I can tell what it needs to eat) and it has a much better capacity to deal with changes. But in the thick of rehearsals, that sort of went out of the window. My digestive system was having to cope with the emotional intensity of work as well as the physical changes in my diet.

Being gluten-free also meant a lot more planning. I have come to realise how dependent I have become on pasta, noodles and bread — stuff that I can very quickly make or buy to stuff myself in the morning or during rehearsals. Soaking beans, cooking rice, pumpkin, beetroots — I had lots of choice, but I had to plan in order to ensure I had enough energy to get me from rehearsal to rehearsal. The unusually cold weather in mid-March didn’t help either.

Being on a special diet also makes it much harder to socialise. I’ve been vegetarian for most of my adult life, so I’m used to navigating eating out; but gluten free and vegetarian is tough. I was at a cafe, and the vegetarian options were: quiche, lasagna, pastas… Grr. Eating out was causing problems. Chinese food was better, but I could feel the whiteness of the rice.

Was it dumb to make this shift during a busy period? The truth is, Hong Kong people are always busy, and there’s no time like the present to decide to make a change in one’s life. I don’t know, perhaps I just tackled this the way I often make directorial decisions in the theatre: Let’s commit to this choice, and try it out to its fullest before considering another option. In a more leisurely period of my life, I might have second-guessed myself much more. Sometimes you just have to commit to trying something out.

When I finally got a day off last Monday, I spent the day cooking a lentil soup. I added potatoes from our garden, and marvelled at how the taste of the soup would vary with the addition of each ingredient. Tomatoes? Hmm.. more acidic. An hour later? The sweetness of the potatoes would neutralise it. Olive oil? Wow — very strong at first. The extra virgin wasa  bit strong. Yikes! But an hour later? It was blending the tastes in the soup very magically.

Mmm… a process… it’s a process….

References:

• “Refined Sugar, The Sweetest Poison of All” by William Dufty
• TED Talk – Graham Hancock: “The War on Consciousness“
• Kinesiology is the use of neuromuscular feedback to test many things. Around about February, I started going to Kinesiology Asia to teach tai chi every week or two, and in return, Joy Li would give me kinesiology sessions. When I have a moment, I will write up a proper blog post about it — it’s been absolutely fascinating how this work is able to identify emotional blockages (even down to the specific memory that I need to resolve) or physical needs (in this case, we just went through a whole list of nutrients to muscle tested to see what my body said it would need. In the meantime though, until I get around to writing this post I would recommend the following book. I find the premise fascinating:
  • Power vs. Force by David Hawkins [1994, revised 2012].

為了介紹三四月份在 Club O 第一次開太極班，有機會再次讀到一些舊同學們的分享。有些同學現在還是每星期都跟我學拳。這一年半他們成長了、我的教學也有進化。回望他們起初接觸太極的感受對我來說是一件十分有趣的事。

「第一次接觸太極，過程有趣新鮮，過往常聽到的似是而非的口訣也好像得到驗證。在練習中也發現了身體郁動與用力時的壞習慣而可以改善之。」–Jimmy

新的發現：
「1. 太極原來可以自衞
…2. 腳原來可以很重
…3. 用意識可以令身體移動

老師很仔細，用很多新穎的方法教太極，用很多想像的方法幫助明白身體的移動。」–可欣

「整個教學過程很互動，老師教授的同時，同學之間有互相糾正的機會，學以致用，令學習過程更深刻。走出教室，於大自然環境下練習，在不同空間有不同的感受和經驗，更清晰感受身體。」– 蕭子聰

「老師講解到很多無形抽象的地方, 如如何用力, 用什麼力度，那身體部份, 重心，如何判斷自己做得正確。這些都難教，但老師能具體用各種示範令我明白，非常難得。以前老師教不到。很多問題時間 good。」– Maggie

「從前看人練太拳極，自己亦隨其他老師上過幾堂課，看過一點有關太極拳的書，仍對什麼是太極拳不甚了了。上了可凡老師的課，她慢慢向我們解釋一些太極拳的 用法，幫助我們去感受和了解太極拳的鬆和沉的理論和應用，始覺自己真正看到了太極拳的門檻，雖然只是向皮毛出發，但已感恩。」– Willy

在2011 年春季波蘭 Ludvik State Drama School 教《太極與劇場》的課程中舞蹈劇場同學的分享:

“What was really helpful for me was finding new sensitivity to space and environment. I also put my attention in my body in a way that other classes didn’t give. I understand my asymmetric problem with my pelvis. I feel my weight better than before, and I know how to fun with energy in my body.”– Maciej

“Wonderful   I really loved that you pay attention to everyone and have very individual view at people. Than you for all the time you’ve spend with me, talking explaining and teaching. That’s very important to me and gave me a lot of energy and motivation to do things better.  –Zuzanna

I learned things that I was aware of but hadn’t experienced on my own body before. Being here and now, energy on stage. [I experienced] cumulation of energy, sense of beauty while meditation — Kasia

Positive, open and sure of goals that she wanted to reach. Patient and helpful — Ania

Calm, concentrated, always ready to work, patient. –Anna

導師簡介: 周可凡

九歲被媽媽捉到大埔富善村去學太極。小朋友不夠耐性 ，未學完一套太極劍就放棄了。 後來大學副修舞蹈，跟波蘭的 Silesian Dance Theatre 學藝。2003年畢業後回港，但因找不到合適的跳舞老師，就重新返回當年教陳式太極拳的李雅芳師傅的指導至今，現時每星期依然與師傅、師兄師姐耍拳養身。

2006 遇上杜維德師父 (吳式太極)，進一步從武術和靈修的層面認識太極拳 。2008年開始跟隨師父在 Club O 的太極班當助教。2011 年春季獲波蘭 Ludwik State School of Drama 邀請，為他們舞蹈劇場碩士學系主持了一個名為《太極與劇場》的課程 。2013年正式「被」滿師下山，臨行之時獲杜師傅叮囑要致力教拳，要「從分享拳理之中探明與深化自己對太極拳的理解 」，隨後在自己天台和在「流白之間」教拳

• 有關 Club O 3-4月的太極課程

2016 年，和菜園村的反高鐵行動已經有五年了。這是高鐵最新的 update.

Source: 萬人呼號高鐵變身　 誠徵一萬名「不負責任」香港人Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/changetrack/