confession.of.a.girl

Marriage

noreply@blogger.com (AtikAh) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 09:32:00 +0000

Kahwin? Marriage? Matrimony? Nuptial?

I feel like people around me keep talking about that. This includes in Facebook. But don't worry, I'm not gonna talk about this. I am not even 20 and I don't think I should. Not now. Future? Emmm, who knows? :D Talking about this, I would say it's human nature to love and to be loved. I am not an exception too. I always remind myself not to involve in this. "Atikah, kata nak cari cinta Allah. so jangan la crush kat orang lain ya" Teehee. I know it sounds funny. So, please, don't giggle!

On a different note, I went for an outing to MidValley yesterday, just to spend the BB1M - 1 Malaysia Book Voucher. Bought 3 books for RM100. I used to read lots of romance books (Both English and Malay version) but due to some personal reasons, I promised myself not to buy those books anymore. Worse, since I'm bounded to the promise, I ended up borrowing romance novels from my friends. =.- Believe it or not, I've read not one, but three novels in this weekend. So now, I promised not to buy or read any kind of this book. Changing the book genre that we used to read is hard, but I know it's worth every effort. InshaAllah. Seerah is one of my wishlist :)

I might not able to read those books now, but InshaAllah, I will find appropriate time to enjoy these :)

Non of those books are academics books. Well, IB books are not easily available in bookstores. Furthermore, I do think my reference books are just enough.

Because They Are..

noreply@blogger.com (AtikAh) — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 23:04:00 +0000

credit

Two days ago,

"ikah balik x?" -mama

"ikah balik bila?" -akak

Yesterday,

"Bila balik"- abang fifi

and today,

"ikah nak balik bila?" - adik yah

I miss them. May I will always be a good daughter & sister.

Count The Days

noreply@blogger.com (AtikAh) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 04:36:00 +0000

Do you notice any changes on the sidebar?

3 Months, 2 Weeks and 4 days before IB Exam.

O Allah, I seek refuge in You from worry and grief, from helplessness and laziness, from cowardice and stinginess, and from overpowering of debt and from oppression of men. May He ease everything.

Colours Of My Life

noreply@blogger.com (AtikAh) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 04:01:00 +0000

It's weekend and I joined a gathering (more to a picinic) with the sisters. I know I still have EE, ToK, CAS, and howework unfinished but I don't want to make this as an excuse for not going to that programme. Thanks Almighty God for such beautiful memories and reminders. To say it specifically, we went to Morib Beach, Banting, Selangor. It wasn't bad at all. At least this place reminds me on the registration day of KMB (My family brought me here and I complained about its wave breaker) I did learn a lot about ukhuwwah. Mentioning "ukhuwwah" reminds me on Prophet Muhammad SAW and Abu Bakr, and Ansor and Muhajirrin.

A friend of mine shared a beautifully said piece of words yesterday. Bad enough I forget it already. So, I come up with a new version of words xD.

Loving a friend means we bring her/him closer to God. Walk through this dunya together with His guide and keep reminding each other to the path of khoir.

and a story to be shared:

One day, Abu Bakr (R) and Ali (R) were walking towards each other. They passed by each other and neither greeted the other. In arabic culture it is customary for the younger to greet the elder. Later that day Abu Bakr(R) saw Ali (R) and asked him, "Are you upset with me?" because he had not greeted him. ALi (R) replied, "No, but last night I had a dream. In the dream I saw a beautiful palace in paradise. I asked who’s palace it was and an angel told me it is for the brother who greets the other first. I was waiting for you to greet me because I wanted you to have the palace." Abu Bakr then told him, “Last night I had the same dream too. I was waiting for you to greet me because I also wanted you to have the palace.”

See how incredible their ukhuwwah is. Inshallah Allah (SWT) will give us this kind of strength so we can become like them too.

Friends on that Day will be enemies one to another, except al-Muttaqoon (i.e. those who have Taqwah). [Qur’an 43:67]

"Hafidh Ibn Katheer, commenting on this verse, relates a story on the authority of Ali Ibn Abi Talib (ra) and says that any friendship for other than Allah is turned into enmity, except what was in it for Allah the Mighty and Majestic: “Two who are friends for Allah’s sake; one of them dies and is given good news that he will be granted al-Jannah, so he remembered his friend and he supplicated for him, saying: ‘O Allah, my friend used to command me to obey You and to obey Your Prophet (saws) and used to command me to do good and to forbid me from doing evil. And he told me that I will meet You. O Allah, do not let him go astray after me, until you show him what you have just shown me, until You are satisfied with him, just like You are satisfied with me.’ So he is told: ‘Had you known what is (written) for you friend, would you have laughed a lot and cried a little.’ Then his friend dies and their souls are gathered, and both are asked to express their opinions about each other. So each one of them says to his friend: ‘You were the best brother, the best companion and the best friend.’

And when one of the two disbelieving friends dies, and he is given tidings of Hellfire, he remembered his friend and he said: ‘O Allah, my friend used to order me to disobey You and disobey Your Prophet, and commanded me to do evil, and forbade me from doing good, and told me that I would not meet You. O Allah, do not guide him after me, until you show him what you have just shown me and until you are dissatisfied with him just like You are dissatisfied with me.’ Then the other disbelieving friend dies, and their souls are gathered, and both are asked to give their opinions about each other. So each one says to his friend: ‘You were the worst brother, the worst companion and the worst friend.”

missionislam

So, let us all renew our intentions and may our friendship is showered with God blessing. Writing this brings back my mind to the old days with my buddies in Maahad.

Till then. Love :)

Have faith

noreply@blogger.com (AtikAh) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 08:30:00 +0000

So this is my first post of 2012. 09 January 2012- a kind of, significant date for me. I'm just hoping everything turns up well. Anyway, today's the last day of our exam review week, technically, as there're still a few papers that I didn't get. Last semester exam surely indicates my poor performances in studies especially in certain subjects. Most of my friends ' results also were not so good as compared to the previous sem exam. It's understandable that semester 3 was really packed and hectic. Still, what I worried the most is that I did study for this 'one' subject but still fail to get seven. Frustrated! =.=

On a different note, I have something to share with my fellow readers.

If ye help not (your leader-prophet Muhammad saw), (it is no matter): for Allah did indeed help him, when the Unbelievers drove him out: he had no more than one companion; they two were in the cave, and he said to his companion, "Have no fear, for Allah is with us": then Allah sent down His peace upon him, and strengthened him with forces which ye saw not, and humbled to the depths the word of the Unbelievers. But the word of Allah is exalted to the heights: for Allah is Exalted in might, Wise. (9:40)

I'm pretty sure that this most of us know this hijra story as this's part of Islamic studies syllabus since kindergarten. From those verse, we can see on how our prophet and Abu Bakr put their fully believe, faith and confidence on Allah when mushrikeen sought after them. At the end, Allah sent His help to both of them and they saved.

All this while, I do think that believe, faith and confidence are the same thing. But I was completely wrong.
A friend of mine shared an analogy to show the differences between these words.

Say you're at shooting target booth in a fun fair and you saw someone, who was successfully shooting a apple 7 times without even a miss. You would surely impressed of the ability of that person and regard her/him as a good shooter. But are you confidence enough to offer yourself by putting the apple on your head, so that the so called good shooter can test his skill again. (and by using the real pistol) I believe not all of us have courage to do this. Not even me! To make it more fascinating, imagine yourself in medieval time, where you were tied on a wheel and spun around. (imagine a dagger instead of pistol as i don't think there's pistol at that time)

google images

I hope at this point all of you get my message. Try relate this analogy to Allah. We know that He's capable of doing anything He want but at a point we feel it's kind impossible for things to happen. Miracle do happen. and that's Allah will.

So, do believe, have faith and confidence on Him.

New Year Countdown

noreply@blogger.com (AtikAh) — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 06:31:00 +0000

This morning I came across to the newly-created college student council's blog and can't help from kind of, startled me when reading the line "Vacation Is Over and A New Struggle Begins." as if I just woke up from a hundred-years soundly sleep.

I repeat,

Vacation Is Over and A New Struggle Begins.

Still, there's something else that worries me the most.

I wish all of you a Happy New Year! Have a blast, people !

Last and not least, May Allah enliven and enlighten our hearts and grant us closeness to Him. May He make us people who love to worship Him, and through our worship we become close to Him and gain His love. May He make our hearts firm and steadfast on our deen, and grant us strength and bravery in our spiritual struggles. May He guide us to the best decisions and make easy for us the path of khayr [goodness]. Ameen ya Rabb.

Let us write down our new-year resolutions :)

False Attachment

noreply@blogger.com (AtikAh) — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 07:01:00 +0000

idk why it turns the other way around

17 December already! Believe it or not, there's 2 more weeks before I left for Banting. I'm not intending to lament on how I totally forgot about the Self Intervention Programme or describing any single days I've faced by procrastinating and whatnot. Still, there's 2 week time right? Don’t take it for granted but lets us make this real.

C.U.T.I= Cuti Untuk Tambah Ilmu & Iman.

Ameen :)

These few days, I've been reading MashaAllah, an amazing blog, post by post which then leads me to the other amazing blog. I aspire to be like both of them, to be a writer that can amazingly pours my creative spark, which remind people towards Him. Long way to go, though.

OK, back to the main point, "False Attachment". What are things that popped-up into your minds when reading the title? And do we ever realize that we are actually bounded ourselves in a false attachment? Ummmh, false attachment- what is it? It can be anything, but InshaAllah I only want to focus on an aspect only. It is ‘love of dunya’. Many of us (including me formerly) think that ‘love of dunya’ means being attached to material things. But hey, it isn’t necessarily applied.

As we grow up, we become attached to everything around us. People, places, events, photographs, memories—even outcomes became things or objects of the strong attachment. This is what I want to highlight here. Yeay, I know it is unavoidable but the problem is, we attached ourselves to them all too much without realizing it.

I quoted this phrase from a sister,

“If we live in dunya with our hearts, it breaks us. That’s why this dunya hurts.”

Yasmeen Mogahed

That is just so true. It is undeniable that sometimes life or dunya hurts us. There are times when things didn’t work out the way we wanted or imagined they should, we face rejections, broken relationship, losing the loved ones and lots of other circumstances that make us fall apart. The disappointment we faced at times not only an ordinary emotion but it is disastrous. Worse, once let down, it can never fully recover as if we could never forget, and the break would never be mended. Like a glass, once broken, the pieces would never quite fit again. It is really hurt, isn’t? why we feel that way? That’s all simply because we live in dunya with our hearts or in other words, due to the love of dunya.

We supposed to be happy when any difficulties or trouble hits us. All because He, The Almighty are watching over us at that time. Out of zillions creatures, he’s watching over us. In fact, He had already promised that He will give it a little sooner or something better for us. If he didn’t give it, it means those things are not good for us. See? But in the reality, most of us are still feeling sad when anything bad happened to us. Why? The answer is still the same. Hubbu dunya. (the love of dunya) OK, I know it is a completely wrong if I say human cannot be depressed over something bad. Even Rasulullah was sad over Khadijah’s death. When we face trouble, we would start to turn to Allah wholeheartedly and in that desperation and need, we ask, we beg, we pray. But when we are in our own 'comfort' zone, we barely remember Him. This so called “cycle” keep occurring to majority of us over time. Don’t we feel embarrassed toward Him? We just His slave but we acted like we are a king.

Reflect on myself, I too can’t help from this love of dunya. I keep worrying about things that might not meet my expectation and hope. Yes, expectation. We expect to have a good grades in exam. A soleh hubby/solehah wife. Peaceful life. And the lists go on and on. We struggle with every cells and fibres in the body to meet up the expectation. We gave our blood, sweat and tears to this endeavor. Here comes a problem. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that we can’t have any expectations in life. It’s natural for human to have it but herein lay a mistake. "The problem is in *where* we are placing those expectations and that hope. At the end of the day, our hopes and expectations were not being placed in God. Our hope and expectations were in people, relationships, and such.Ultimately, our hope was in this dunya rather than Allah." See? So, why still worrying, if you know you have tried hard enough and put your fully dependency on Him?

"We experience this emotional roller coaster because we can never find stability and lasting peace until our attachment and dependency is on what is stable and lasting, to Allah. How can we hope to find constancy if what we hold on to is inconstant and perishing?"

"And if you do this, you become unbreakable, because your handhold is unbreakable. You become unconquerable, because your supporter can never be conquered. And you will never become empty, because your source of fulfillment is unending and never diminishes." I know it’s pretty hard to do this, but to gain the best, we have to strive for the best too, right?. So, let’s mujahadah.

Adios.

P/S: Sorry for the confusing sentence structures, probably because I’m quoting too much. I hope what I’ve been intending to say is understandable. I’ve been depressed over “something” these recent days,that I feel like giving up. I realized I should not feel that way if I put my fully dependency on Him =.=

( most quotation "........" are from SuhaibbWebb )

Eh Eh Nothing Else I Can Say

noreply@blogger.com (AtikAh) — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 09:14:00 +0000

from +lyn

I’ve been intending to update my blog since the past few days, but I guess there were things to get done with and it was like no matter how much I fathomed on what to blog on, I still couldn’t get my fingers to type and blog about it. Yeah that’s what I meant when I said I’ve lost the blogging mojo. As I usually write sth after every exam I've had and, for not wanting so called 'break the norm, Ta-Daa! here is the post. Tehee. OK, I know this sounds soooo rubbish.

Today was a good day after all. Minus the part where my feet hurt due to the wedge I wore, and I have to buy a pair of new flat. Not forgotten, minus the part where, I didn't do anything productive works since this morning. That worries me a lot. All can I say, It was a decent day after all. Anyway, downpour showers Banting today. When I arrived Putrajaya (from my cousin's house in KL), it was still drizzling but continued raining cats n dogs all the way back to my college. Thanks to the bus driver, who willingly dropped me in front of college's gate, so that I don't need to struggle with the wind, obscuring my face with my handbag nor jumping and running around like I am being chased by blood-sucking vampires. (I don't mind if he's Edward :P) Not to mention, to guards, who were thoughtfully offering me an umbrella. Most importantly, Thanks to Almighty Allah for bringing senses to those kind-hearted people and letting them to help me out. Jazakummullah khoiran kathira- May He reward them with their kindness. I felt blessed and grateful ! Sweet kan Allah? So now, I am currently enjoying every spoonful of carrot cake with cheese frosting in my room. (on my bed to be precise) Oh, how delicious! Thanks Allah for this. Will try do bake it when I am at home. Can't wait~

On a different note, during this holiday, I'm actually bound to a 'SELF-INTERVENTION PROGRAMME.' It is one of the teachers' initiatives so that the students do not treat holidays as 'holidays' but as only 'days without classes'. I still remember what Ms. Loh had said last Friday, "We (the lectures)have try with our best for all of you, but if you don't want to appreciate it, so that's it." That's soo true. On reflection, who am I without them, the teachers? Despite juggling between family, house chores, they still find their time to study before teaching, marking our exercises and exam papers. Apart from respecting them, giving them "SEVEN" (for IB) is a must as a way to express mythanks, appreciation and gratitude. and yet, I failed to do it for all of them soo many time!

To quote my former English B teacher,

"You're lucky as you're still a student. You don't need to think and worry about money, food, your husband, nor your children. You just need to study. Isn't hard, is it?"

InsyaAllah, I'll try my best for the IB exam May 2012. I am hoping to fully utilize my time as I pledge on the self-intervention form. Dear readers, do remind me if you happen to see me keep idling in any social sites, be it fb, twitter, tumblr and blogger as well. Your cooperation is highly appreciated.

Anyway, I will be attending Biro Tata Negara (BTN) starting from tomorrow till this Friday. Notice the days, guys- it's FIVE days. To be honest, I am scared! Why? Ponder upon yourself.

Last and not least,

Allahumma najjih ATIKAH HASSAN fil IB Exam, fi dunya wa fil akhirah.

Thanks for the prayers, people :)

So I guess that's all for now.

Till then. Hugs.

p/s: the post title doesn't related with Lady Gaga's song.

Once Upon A Time..

noreply@blogger.com (AtikAh) — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 06:04:00 +0000

bleavnluv

Mind you, it is not a fairy tale story.

Once upon a time, there was a girl. One day, she felt so sad and depressed. It was more to disappointed actually. At that time, she was alone at KL Sentral and had nowhere to go nor no one to talk to. She walked back and forth, here and there. At last, she decided to go home. On the LRT, she saw a young woman, who was crying right in front of her.

"Oh, I am not the only one who feel sad today", said her inner voice.

Then, came a guy. He moved closer to the woman and immediately hold her in a warm cuddle. while murmuring something to her ears-some consoling words perhaps .

Once seeing that, she said to herself again:

"The woman and I are in the same situation- we both are unhappy. But I don't need a guy or anyone to comfort me like she does. I just need Allah"

She then prayed,

"O'Allah, don't leave me alone. I am so scared of not having you beside me"

The end.

Too short eh?

At last, she lost her LRT ticket and had to pay extra for that xD

So dear earthlings, do remember this :)

" No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that."
[Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 70, Number 545]

To quote from a sister,

Being a Muslim is the best gift one could ever ask for.

bila senang, kita tahu Allah yang bagi.

bila susah, kita tahu Allah yang bagi jugak.

in the end, it all goes back to Him.

which, is the one and only thing that we need to do in this short lifetime.

-kembali kepada Dia-

so, we should be happy :)

So people, lets us put our assurance and trust on Him :)

**This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental :P **

لو كان بيننا

noreply@blogger.com (AtikAh) — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 08:07:00 +0000

Have you ever imagined it he were among us?? What would you say to him?

Eid-ul Adha

noreply@blogger.com (AtikAh) — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 07:20:00 +0000

It has been a tough week for me. Alhamdulillah, I managed to get through it. These few days, I keep tune in to “This I Promise You” by N’Sync. Have you guys ever listened to this song? If Yes, you might think that I have been living in the dreamland. I don't know why but it just gives me some sort of soothing ambience. I like the 1^st part of the song,

When the visions around you,
Bring tears to your eyes
And all that surround you,
Are secrets and lies
I'll be your strength,
I'll give you hope,
Keeping your faith when it's gone

Because I know He will be always with me. May we remain steadfast in loving Him. Ameen...

Last but not least, I'd like to take this opportunity to wish a very happy and blessed Eid to my beloved family, and friends! To those who are far from sight but close to my heart, I am missing you this Eid. Taqaballahu minni wa minkum.

p/s: We did invited our friends and juniors to celebrate Eid together this morning to liven up the raya. Thanks people for the memory!

Best wishes,

Atikah ~

Dear students of the world

noreply@blogger.com (AtikAh) — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 23:20:00 +0000

devianart photo

Dear students of the world,

Have you ever imagined yourself in a situation where you failed your exam and you had no other choice except ended up living in 'typical' life. If you haven't, you should try to do it once at least.

In Malay culture, if you flunk schools, getting married is one of a way out for girls. While for men, they usually go and try seeking for jobs especially soldier in hoping to at least get a fixed salary. That is traditional Malay mentality. However, this is exceptional for those who were born with silver spoon in their mouth. They can easily sign up in any private college they want. Now, we can see how significant the money is, in today's education.

As for me, I couldn't ever imagine myself being in such circumstances. I always have alternative plan namely Plan A, Plan B and Plan C but I never include getting married as one of those alternatives. However, this thought hit me in these few days and made me wondering about it. What if I fail to get university offers? Do I have another choices or plans? Would I ended up working as a promoter in any shopping complex for the rest of my life?

It scared me to think about it.

To accept

noreply@blogger.com (AtikAh) — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 10:03:00 +0000

After being hiatus for more than a month, the rambling is resumed

A nasyeed lyrics; it's one of my faves

Kau yang menciptakan cinta

Dan Kau jua yang menghampar bahagia

Di ribaanMu terhimpun harapan

Impian tulus setiap insan

Kau yang mengutuskan duka

Dan Engkaulah yang mengirimkan hampa

Namun padaMu jua diadukan

Merabahkan keresahan dan tangisan

Aku tahu inilah kasihMu

Aku tahu inilah cintaMu

Dan ku tahu tiap yang terbaik untukku

Tak semuanya yang ku mahu

Di celah hangat nafas yang terhela

Ada dingin saat menyeru (menyebut) namaMu

Terarah segala ronta dan rasa

Pada damainya dakapanMu

Aku tahu inilah kasihMu

Aku tahu inilah cintaMu

Dan ku tahu di segenap ruang rasaku

Telah Kau titipkan kekuantan

Oh Tuhan

*********************************

Maybe it is just not meant for me.

It's too painful, it's heartbreaking

I pray that I will be given a strength to endure all these.

I cannot deny that I am still hoping for that, even the possibility is too low.

it is difficult to "redha" ( accept thing as it is) , isn't?

I just don't know how to face it.

p/s: why I am still hoping?

Ignorant

noreply@blogger.com (AtikAh) — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 14:24:00 +0000

source

In the midst of the increasingly yet mushrooming unbearable workloads, I easily lose my focus and simply ended up ignoring all them. Instead, I'm doing unnecessary activities; sleeping, 'facebooking', blogging and just name it. See, how ignorant I can be.

Is it one form of escapism? Well, if you ask me, it is. PERHAPS.

This actually worries me a lot. I afraid of the consequences if I keep indulging myself into this.

Successful indeed are the believers. Those who offer their prayers with all solemnity and full submissiveness. And those who turn away from Al-laghw. (Almu'minun:1-3)

**********************

* Literally, laghv is anything nonsensical, meaningless and vain, which is in no way conducive to achieving one's goal and purpose in life. The Believers pay no heed to such useless things and they show no inclination or interest for them. If by chance they see such things being indulged in, they keep away and avoid them scrupulously, or treat them with utmost indifference. This attitude has been described in Al-Furqan (XXV): 72, thus: " ... if they have to pass by what is vain, they pass by like dignified people."

This is indeed one of the outstanding characteristics of the Believer. He is a person who feels the burden of responsibility at all times; he regards the world as a place of test, and the life as the limited time allowed for the test. This feeling makes him behave seriously and responsibly throughout life just like the student who is taking an examination paper with his whole mind and body and soul absorbed in it. Just as the student knows and feels that each moment of the limited time at his disposal is important and decisive for his future life, and is not inclined to waste it, so the Believer also spends each moment of his life on works which are useful and productive in their ultimate results. So much so that even in matters of recreation and sport, he makes a choice of only those things which prepare him for higher ends in life and do not result in mere wastage of time. For him time is not something to be killed but used profitably and productively.

Besides this, the Believer is a person who possesses a right thinking mind, pure nature and fine taste: he has no inclination to indecent things: he can talk useful and healthy things but cannot indulge in idle talk: he has a fine taste of humour, but is not given to jesting, joking, ridicule, etc. nor can he endure dirty jokes and fun. For him a society in which the ears are never immune from abusive language, back-biting, slander; lying, dirty songs and indecent talk is a source of torture and agony. A characteristic of the promised Paradise is: "therein you will not hear anything vain or useless."

(source)

**********************

So, lets mujahadah (try with our best) to be a better person, the believers :)

p/s: The result for the Proposed Placement is out today. one step ahead, alhamdulillah :)

Rambling

noreply@blogger.com (AtikAh) — Sat, 06 Aug 2011 08:12:00 +0000

Today, I re-read my previous posts in this blog. It somehow make me smile and I can say that, I miss all those memories. Recently, I enjoy blogwalking instead of writing my own blog. See my recent posts; they’re all only short updates or articles that I copied from another website. People say, ones will do anything for his/her passion. And yes, I admit that blogging is my passion. So, what’s my say for this? Or am I too busy to ignore this blog? I lie if I say I’m not busy at all, especially in this third semester as an IB student with all the assignments to be handed in this semester.

All in the heavens and the earth entreat Him for their needs; a new, mighty task engages Him each day. Which of your Lord's laudable attributes will you twain then deny?
(55:29-30)

So, how come I claim myself busy if He is far busier than me?

I went back to Kelantan last week, and it’s for five days (I got an extra day compared to other students). This week has been a hard time for me. Well, you know, I left kmb with those unfinished homework and I have to submit them all this week. It was horrible.Even though I’ve tonnes of homework and assignments to be finished, I still indulge myself with sleep. Sometimes, I hate myself for that. I have this so called ‘problem’ since I was in Form 3. Say, if I sleep 5 hours per day, it means that, in a year I sleep for 1825 hours, which equivalent to 74 days. So now, you can just imagine the number of hours I spend, curled up on my comfy beds in this 19 years. (need a GDC to calculate this) It is actually in the state of mind. So, one of my ramadhan intentions- less sleep.

I hope for the best in this ramadhan kareem. insyaAllah. Anyway, I have something to share with you guys; How to achieve tranquility of the heart

P/S: Eventhough i love to sleep, but I hate sleeping in the morning

The Why of Fasting

noreply@blogger.com (AtikAh) — Sun, 31 Jul 2011 06:38:00 +0000

Salam ramadhan dear readers.

*click to download ramadhan self improvement checklist*

by Khalida Haque

Take a close look at the title of this article and jot down the reasons why you are fasting. There is no right or wrong answer to this and nobody will be marking what you write down or how you phrase it.

Now contemplate the following: “Actions are (judged) by motives (niyyah), so each man will have what he intended. Thus, he whose migration (hijrah) was to Allah and His Messenger, his migration is to Allah and His Messenger; but he whose migration was for some worldly thing he might gain, or for a wife he might marry, his migration is to that for which he migrated.”

[Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

What could be the reason for fasting?

The hadith above is telling us that our intentions can be whatever we wish, they can be worldly or they can be focussed on the akhira. However the reward and increased spirituality will be defined by discovering and understanding ‘why’ we fast.

Possible reasons for fasting

It is ordained by Allah
To draw closer to our creator and gain taqwa (God consciousness)
To help us eliminate bad habits such as smoking, drinking or overeating
To improve our willpower, discipline ourselves and gain control of our desires
To gain an understanding of what it means to be hungry and to connect with those less privileged than us
To help us get back on track with our faith
To gain forgiveness
To lose weight
To follow what everyone else is doing
To improve our manners
It is what we are used to doing

Evidently the reasons why we fast can be various. However, it is unlikely that it is in search of praise from others. When we pray or give charity or perform the rites of Umrah and Hajj, our actions are visible to others and may be influenced by seeking their praise. But, fasting is different. No one knows if we are fasting or not, except Allah.

“Every deed of the son of Adam is for him except fasting; it is for Me and I shall reward for it…”

[Al-Bukhari]

So why should we be fasting?

“O you who believe, fasting has been prescribed for you as it has been prescribed for those before you, so that you may attain taqwa.”

[Qu’ran 2:183]

We fast to achieve taqwa.

Through fasting we are able to become more aware of Allah I and His nearness to us. We are able to strengthen our faith in Him and fulfill His commandments. Our primary intention needs to be for our Creator. All other positive intentions can be fulfilled as a consequence of our obeying our Lord and Sustainer.

Fasting is not only about abstaining from eating or drinking for, “whoever does not abandon falsehood in word and action, then Allah has no need that he should leave his food and drink.”

[Al-Bukhari]

From this hadith, we understand that it is also about improving our behaviour and abstaining from actions such as lying, backbiting, stealing, etc.

What about Shaytaan?

“When the month of Ramadhan comes, the gates of Paradise are opened and the gates of Hell are closed, and the devils are chained.”

[Al-Bukhari]

Good deeds are easy during Ramadhan. But often, as soon as we bid this blessed month adieu we slip back into our bad habits.

We will be told by Shaytaan himself:

And I had no power over you save that I called unto you and you obeyed me.”

[Qur’an 14:22]

Whether Shaytaan is present or not, it is more likely that it is our own nafs that we struggle against. During Ramadhan, being able to do the things that we normally seem unable to do, proves that we can triumph over our own psyche and ego.

Ramadhan is the training ground where we can charge our spiritual batteries for the rest of the year. It is the month of fasting but it is also the month of mercy, forgiveness and repentance; a time for us to turn back to Our Lord. During the year we may have strayed and wandered away from the path and Ramadhan is an opportunity to find our way back:

“O my slaves who have transgressed against themselves! Despair not for the mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly he is oft forgiving, most merciful.”

[Qur’an 39:53]

Ramadhan Mubarak, Ramadhan Kareem :)

I do

noreply@blogger.com (AtikAh) — Sat, 30 Jul 2011 09:14:00 +0000

بارك الله لكما وبارك عليكما وجمع بينكما في خير

"Baraka Allahu lakuma wa Baraka alaikuma wa jama a' baina kuma fii khoir"

EE

noreply@blogger.com (AtikAh) — Sun, 24 Jul 2011 13:36:00 +0000

I actually just come back from Malay Extended Essay(EE) Camp that was held in Hotel Seri Malaysia, Bagan Lalang, Sepang, Selangor. I learnt a lot from this camp. Hopefully the process of my EE writing will go smoothly after this. I'm hoping to get an A for my Malay Extended Essay. Amin :)

**For non-IB students, EE is kind of mini thesis that all the IB students in the world need to do, as one of the IBO requirements. IBO? it stands for International Baccalaureate Organisation. Teehee.

p/s: Err, I dont know why I keep stalking this one person recently. Don't take it wrong. I am just too timid to ask for her recent news. So, stalking to know the updates of our friends isn't a crime eh? it is socially accepted right?

Abscess

noreply@blogger.com (AtikAh) — Sun, 24 Jul 2011 11:27:00 +0000

I just recover(87%) from abscess. It's on my face(near my chin) At first, I thought it's a zit but then I realized it's not. I've read a few articles about that and am planning to share it with my dear readers :) Mind you that I'm not responsible on the validity of this sharing. But somehow, I did make comparison between articles I read and write this based on that.

Abscess?

Ever heard about that? it is actually a collection of pus that generally developed in response of bacteria. There're a few type of abscess namely skin abscess, hepatic abscess, brain abscess(rare but it's life threatening),dental abscess,etc. I'll focused on skin abscesses. It's actually related to a bacteria called Staphylococcus Aerues. Everyone can develop an abscess and they can occur everywhere in our body. During 2008 and 2009, there were 34,390 reported cases of hospital visits in England due to skin abscesses.(source: NHS) It may get red, swollen, pus-filled lump under the surface of skin and it often painful. Usually doctors will lance the abscesses and give antibiotics. In general, it must open and drain to get better.

Picture of skin abscess; courtesy of the CDC/Bruno Coignard, MD;Jeff Hageman, MHS

acute abscess

Prevention?

#1 Skin care- Ensuring your skin is clean, healthy and free of bacteria can help reduce the risk of skin abscesses developing. Eg: Wash your hands regularly

#2 Healthy diet

#3 Weight control- People who are overweight are more at risk of developing abscess

:)

noreply@blogger.com (AtikAh) — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 18:22:00 +0000

So today, the UPU result is announced and I can see,

wall of fb is fulled with greetings and blessings.

Congratz to all of you! I'm so happy for you girls!

and for those who'll fly this upcoming Sept,mind meeting up before you left M'sia?

Anyway, I manage to IM with my girls back in Maahad tonight. It's such a bless to gather back even

only in fym/fb; It's the time to talk bout us, to share our feeling, to

reminisce the past and not to mention to, gossiping xD

Randomness

noreply@blogger.com (AtikAh) — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 10:07:00 +0000

When Temptation Lurks

noreply@blogger.com (AtikAh) — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 10:55:00 +0000

the appetizing nasi kerabu

I have this one kind of temptation; it's eating. Even if I'm not hungry, I still feel the urge to munch on something, especially when I see someone else chomping away. It just as if I want to eat all the time. Perhaps, I have binge-eating disorder.

KMB= Kolej Makan Banyak?

Hah?

Semai Bakti Nusantara (SEBAK), Naggroe Acheh

noreply@blogger.com (AtikAh) — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 06:38:00 +0000

As promised before,

Guidance & Counselling Club(GNCC) presents SEBAK'11 :)

Pictures tell everything, right?

6 June 2011 | 1st Day:

Visited Banda Acheh

before departure

banner

had our lunch here. seriously it's delicious~

the famous sosro teh botol

the menu.

ayam lepaaas, ayam lemaas, just to name a few..

I thought it's a mall at first. xD

replica of the museum

baiturrahim mosque- saved from tsunami

Baiturrahman mosque-

It was indeed a great feeling to be here

7 - 9 June 2011

7 June 2011 | 2nd day:

Pesantren/ Rumah Anak Yatim Ar-Raudah, Lokseumawe

Gotong royong at a nearby mosque

Opening ceremony

English programme to orphans

Pesantren Anak Yatim Ar-raudah

Masjid Taqwa Cot Baloi, Lokseumawe

the cleaning team

english module- cartoon strips

english module

8 June 2011 | 3rd day:

Strolled around Kota Lokseumawe

Games at beach

Motivational talk

rode labi-labi for the first time.

having fun :)

with the orphan girls

9 June 2011 | 4th day:

Bond of Ukhuwwah (BOU)

Cultural Night, Closing ceremony

playing with mud in paddy field

I fell from this hut ><

10 June 2011 | 5th Day : Medan

Visited Universiti Sumatera Utara (USU)

Departed to KLIA

faculty of medicine

with one of the Malaysian students there

it's awesome :)

strolled around the USU

Sunny Sunday

noreply@blogger.com (AtikAh) — Sun, 12 Jun 2011 05:25:00 +0000

Right now, I'm in college with three of my friends. We stayed in college guest house. For food, we cooked by ourselves :) We actually just came back from Acheh yesterday for another humanitarian project. Pictures will be uploaded soon.

I guess that's all for now. Buckets of assignment are in dire to be finished :(

Pulau Berhala, Sandakan, Sabah

noreply@blogger.com (AtikAh) — Sun, 12 Jun 2011 04:14:00 +0000

As I promised before, I wanna share my experience back in Sabah; Smiling Soul Mega Project to Pulau Berhala, Sandakan.

So, now, I'm presenting SMILING SOUL :)

lets us carve smile on your faces :)

20^t^h May 2010

We had our last paper for semester 2 exam, which is English B HL Paper 2. Everyone seemed so elated as the exam was already ended which also meant, the holidays had already started. Yeay!!! For us, smiling soul members, too can’t help from feeling the excitement though we have an important mission to do.

All of us then gathered for the last briefing from our advisors, Pn. Mazlina and En. Fadzlan Nor. After hostel’s clearance, we went to surau to pack things to be brought along there.

At night, we had a meeting among members. Then, I went to F Block and came back to my room by 2.30 am. Time flies very fast that I didn't realize it was already 4.30 am. It's the time to sleep.

21th May 2011

I woke up at 6.30 am and instantly packed all my things- 1 bag to be brought to Pulau Berhala and 1 bag to Kelantan (my hometown). I’ll come back to KMB to pick up the ‘bag to Kelantan’ after returning from Sabah.

12.15 pm- We departed from KMB with college’s bus. It was pretty hot inside that we're bathing in perspiration. We arrived KLIA 20 minutes later and headed to check-ins counter. The check-ins process took quite sometime as there’re loads of baggage and boxes; boxes of food, donations, module, just name for a few. A luggage of us was missing. =.= After that, everyone went to musolla (prayer room) to perform solah and then to food garden to have lunch. I just bought 1 class of juice which costs RM 6.00. =.=

3.15 pm- We run as fast as possible as we’re kind of late. No, I take that back. We’re really late. The flight departure was scheduled by 3.20 pm. More worse, the boarding gate is B10 which is quite far from the departure gate. Can you imagine 37 of us were running all the way till we entered our flight? and you know what, we delayed the flight! It was such an experience.The journey took 2 hours and 45 minutes. Had a soundly sleep; Sleep debt paid, teehee xD

Arrival at Sandakan Airport- It's already 7 pm when we had gathered all of our boxes and luggage. We are greeted by some of UMNO Sandakan officers. Then, we took a bas to a budget hotel in Sandakan.

group picture

*credit to azizul*

Once get there, we had to walk apprx. 500 m while carring all the luggage and boxes since bus cannot enter the route to the hotel.

After having dinner, some of us strolled around Sandakan and most of us stopped by at Guardian, just to buy sun block. (I didnt buy it anyway)

Sweet dream. zzzzZZ

22th may 2011

Most of houses there are pretty much like this.

Early in the morning, all of us walked to the jetty, while our baggage and boxes were loaded into a lorry. Then, we departed into Pulau Berhala by a boat. Yeay~

Once arrived there, we prepared for the opening ceremony. By 11 am, the ceremony started and the usual process took place; speeches, presentation, etc. The ceremony was launched by YB Raymond Tan Shu Kiah.

Children were dancing in front of VIP

them

Everyone then went to a ‘new’ home with a ‘new’ family.

my adopted mom :)

*credit to azizul*

We’re so lucky as there’s wedding ceremony on the day we arrived there. Witnessing their wedding culture especially their dance mesmerizes me to no extend. I don’t know the name of the dance but it’s really fascinating. Every girl (usually would be called by the DJ) have to dance in front of people in the ceremony. The most unique part is their fingers. Then, people will come to the front and put some money in between their fingers.

girls were dancing. there's money in between their fingers.

the bride also danced.

Some of the girls there asked me to join them but I refused. I don’t even know to dance even the basic step. The ceremony occurred all day long. The bride also has to dance and she usually receives more money than the girls.

We’re served with several dishes as other wedding feast, but the way they serve rice was unique. It’s in the plastic bags.

Time to eat~

Then, all of us left the ceremony and we gathered at 3M School.

At the evening, we had a gotong royong along the beaches. They are LOADS of rubbish, mainly mineral bottles and plastic bags. It realized me how bad the effect of rubbish dumping even a small wrapper of sweet.

I returned home when it’s almost dusk . In my mind, the question “How I’m gonna take shower?” kept wandering around. I was quite lucky that there’s a toilet in my house because there’re a few of my friends who had no toilet in their house. More worse, their house do not have any compartments at all. When you enter their house, you’ll see their living room, kitchen, and bedroom straight away. Can’t u imagine it, can you?

Finally, I took bath. I feel bad to use much water when bathing. I don’t want to burden my mother as she had to take the water from well. I never think of it before in my own bathroom and even college's bathroom.

Then, I helped my mom to cook dinner. Looking at their kitchen appearance saddens me a lot. There’re only basic utensils, a bottle of soy sauce, salt and sugar. I cooked sayur sawi goreng (fried mustard). That’s all for dinner for the whole family, there’re no other side-dish except 1 eggs that was added in the vege. I don’t even dare to eat even my stomach was grumbling at that time, not because I can’t eat but I felt bad to eat their food.

After that, I went again to the wedding ceremony. There were more dancing at night. It was kinda havoc with people. The bridegroom looked very stunning in wedding gown and suit. I was there just for a moment before I headed to surau, which also acted as our pusat operasi(operation centre) We had our very first postmortem there.

I returned home at eleven something. Thanks God, that my friend, Danea came to pick me up. She really treated me well here. We went again to the wedding ceremony since it was in front of my house. Bridegroom already left but the teenagers were still there; dancing. I felt as if I’m in disco. It was pretty scary to see them acting in that kind of way.

I then decided to go home. The question that raced in my mind on the way home was “How I’m gonna sleep tonight?”

My adopted mum let me sleep in her room- the only room in the house. I felt bad about it; burdened her. Still, the room doesn't have a door. Luckily, Danea was willing to accompany me to sleep at that night. I felt relieved.

By 12, the house was enveloped in bleak darkness since the only lamp in the house will automically switched off. (The electricity there is from generator)

23rd May 2011

children were playing 'lompat tali / getah"

After taking bath, I rushed to go 3M School. We had “Hari Kesihatan” and “Modul Pendidikan” on the day. I helped in module by being a facilitator. It was kinda havoc since kids came and wanna join all the activities. They were actually divided into 2; morning session and evening session. But all of them came for morning session. Parents also insisted us to include their children in every module. We learnt more about their culture from this module. After all, it was fun to teach and play around with kids. Most of them are still struggling to read and even count.

Lunch time- everybody went home for lunch.

After Asr, (Asr is very early there, around 3.30pm), we had climbing activity. It was pretty tiring. I didn’t even warming up. Actually, at that time, I was in surau, preparing cekodok for tea. When I saw most of my friends were running, so I, without any hesitation, joined them running and yeah, I managed to climb it.

the joyous faces

my friends there

We finished at almost maghrib time (dusk) . So I went home to take bath. My adopted mom and I then went to surau as we had religious sermons and iqra’ at that time. I taught a few girls to read the holy Quran. Some of them can read well and some of them cannot. They said that they always wish to have tafsir (Quran with translation) like us.

with the children

24th MAY 2011

I woke early in the morning and took shower. I’ll come back to peninsular M’sia today, which also means I’ll be leaving them. It was too fast. I have to come back while my others friends still have a day and half with them more. Danea did come to my house to bid goodbye. My mom and Danea then gave me presents. I can't help from feeling touched. (^^)

They then sent me to the jetty. At that time, most of my friends were busy preparing for the sports day. Futhermore, VIP would come on that day.It was a heart- wrenching moment to leave the island =.=

last picture with our family

on the boat

Once arrived, a taxi is already waiting for us. We’re not planning to go straight to airport but to the Sandakan market first. So, we asked the taxi to come back 1 hour later. We then walked to the market. It's quite far and tiring.

I just grabbed anything that I saw in the market and bought it, before headed to the airport. My flight was at 11 something. So, bye- bye Sandakan. See you next time xD.

on the way to market

That's all about it. They are actually a few more activities that I missed as I've to come back early :( The rest of my friends had visited Bokara Village and have more time for shopping. Still, I learnt so much things here and enjoyed so much fun. This thrilling adventure was nothing but a great teacher for me.

God willing we'll come back

Thanks people. I'll be missing you!

Till then, Hugs..