The Stir By CafeMom: Big Kid

8 Ways Our Kids Have It So Much Better Than We Did

Fri, 24 May 2013 15:28:00 EDT

Post by Sarah Bernard

When my kids complain about things as kids do -- walking to school, what's for dinner, longish car rides -- I find myself sounding like an exaggerated version of my grandma who really did walk miles to school in the snow and often brought that up when I'd obnoxiously claim some part of my extremely easy morning routine was unfair.

It's a right of passage for one generation to give another the you-have-no-idea-how-good-you-have-it speech. And you know what, it's always true!

Fellow parents of young kids, we're not that old, but isn't it amazing how much nearly every aspect of kid life has improved since we were in the game?

Thinking has evolved. Fabrics are softer. Playgrounds have those squishy cushioned mats. The list goes on, but here are my top 8 (not including iPads):

Ice Cream. It was chocolate or vanilla or strawberry. That's it. And you defined yourself by which one you always picked. Ok, except if you lived near a Baskin-Robbins. Now, if a kid can't get Oreo cookies and cream with gummy bears on top they are shocked. Shocked! Sunscreen. It didn't feel like summer unless we (stupidly) fried ourselves like the Coppertone baby. Sunscreens came in gels that stung your eyes and only went up to 15 SPF, as I recall. Grownups were still basting themselves in baby oil. Chickenpox. Explaining to kids how there was this 'cold' where you used to get itchy spots all over that would sometimes leave scars does kind of sound like we were living in the Middle Ages. Cribs. Ours were like mini jail cells on wheels. Pretty much everything was wrong with them. It's amazing we survived. Car Seats. Didn't exist. Parents would hold us on their laps in the FRONT seat. Remember how much fun it used to be to call the extra seat in the "way back" of the station wagon? Death trap. Strollers. Like fluffy couches with the suspension of a Porche. I could never understand why I had to wrestle my kids into them. I would have taken all my meals there if that was an option. Food in general. Kid food used to be gross. We had glop in a jar and way too much bologna. From the get-go babies live the gourmet life now with organic options and those squeezey pouches moms can carry anywhere. Clothes. Zara kids. Baby Gap. Crewcuts. If only. Things were scratchy and I still don't understand why there were so many overalls which made everyone's life difficult. And shoes! Remember those stiff white "first" shoes that felt like cement blocks? Thank God for baby Converse.

Image via Kimberlykv/Flickr

Hundreds of Police Officers Attend 5-Year-Old's Kindergarten Graduation After Her Dad Is Killed in the Line of Duty (VIDEO)

Fri, 24 May 2013 12:00:00 EDT

Post by Mary Fischer

In what has to be one of the saddest yet sweetest gestures I've ever seen, hundreds of police officers showed up to a 5-year-old girl's kindergarten graduation to support her after losing her dad in the line of duty just three days earlier.

Originally, a few officers were planning on attending Tatum Raetz's graduation ceremony, but then word spread through the Phoenix police department. Lo and behold, Tatum and her mother were greeted by hundreds of men in uniform who helped honor her daddy's memory.

Take a look at this video to hear more about this beautiful and emotional tribute to Tatum's dad, Daryl Raetz.

See this video on The Stir by CafeMom.

OMG. That poor little girl! It had to have been awful to not have her father present at her graduation -- but to have to go through such a huge milestone just days after his death? That's more than any child should ever have to bear.

And how about her grieving mother? Can you honestly imagine going through the myriad of emotions between losing your husband and celebrating your child moving on to the next phase of her life? Getting up, getting dressed, and going to that graduation can't have been easy for this woman, so we can only imagine just how incredibly moved she was upon seeing all of those officers waiting for her and her daughter.

Besides giving support to Tatum and her mom, the attendance of the officers also had to make them feel like Daryl was still with them that day in a way, like his spirit still took part in celebrating a huge moment in his daughter's life.

Even though the road ahead will be a tough one for them, at least Tatum and her mom can take some comfort in knowing that they are not alone -- because they have an entire police department ready and willing to take care of them from here on out.

What words of sympathy would you offer to this woman?

Are Moms Asking for Too Much Flexibility at Work?

Fri, 24 May 2013 09:52:00 EDT

Post by Jeanne Sager

The ongoing battle between the working parents and the stay-at-home parents may get all the press, but it's got nothing on working parents and the child-free who work with them. Working moms want a family-friendly workplace with respect for the fact that they have lives outside of the job. But is it fair of us to ask? Are we "playing the kid card" too much?

As a mother I want to say no. But as a mom who has confessed she often feels guilty leaving work for her kid, I can easily see both sides.

So can Karen Grigsby Bates. She's the mom who wrote the emotionally-charged Slate article "Why Working Parents Should Not Pull the Kid Card" this week. Yes, I said she's a mom. And she thinks her fellow moms and dads are pushing it with all this family-friendly workplace business. Says Bates:

People without children have lives that are as legitimate and that they cherish as much as people who have children. This unwavering entitlement—I need time off; I have to have this holiday; I need to leave a half-hour before everyone else does, every day—kills office morale.

Her comments have merit. Every mom who has ever had to leave work early for a kid with a stuffy nose has encountered at least one cranky co-worker along the way.

But are all parents really killing office morale? Aaron Goldman recently confessed at Mom.me that he was afraid to broach the topic of a flexible work day when his daughter was first born. But when he did, he found it didn't affect his work negatively at all:

As the months went by with our daughter, I slowly started to figure out that I could be more flexible, and that work would not suffer. Going in a little late after dropping my daughter off at day care is not a big deal, and although staying at home with a sick kid is not the best way to work, it can be done, and no one was judging me for it.

And some parents aren't asking for help because they want it. They're put in positions where they're desperate. Take the plight of single dad of three and veteran Dan Greeley. His story hit the news when he decided to take a pay cut at work ... because he was at risk of losing child care assistance critical for his family. Olivia Golden, an expert on child and family assistance programs at the Urban Institute, a non-partisan economic and social policy research organization based in Washington, D.C., explained that Greeley's story is typical of American parents who are desperately juggling to make things work. They don't want special treatment, Golden says, they need it:

Parents who are trying to work at low or moderate wage jobs and raise kids often run into roadblocks where the system just doesn't make sense.

We've been talking a lot about the middle class and the American dream. And to me, people who are working hard, trying to raise their kids, and on the edge of that middle class life, it should be one of our priorities to help them gain the stability they need to have that life that we all aspire to.

But what about the roadblocks other folks, without kids, run into? It seems there may be room for improvement on either side.

Congress recently hashed over a plan called the Working Families Flexibility Act of 2013 that would have a major effect on all workers, not just those with kids. If it passes, the bill could have employees working unpaid overtime hours beyond the 40-hour workweek. Employees could accrue comp time (rather than time-and-a-half that many American workers depend on), but even that would be up to the discretion of the employer.

According to Eileen Appelbaum, a senior economist at the Center for Economic and Policy Research, that means it doesn't matter if you have a sick kid, you're taking care of a sick granny, have your own health issues, or just want to have some free time to blow off steam, your "flexibility" would be limited: we're all in the same boat.

Do you feel like working parents play the "kid card" too often? Do you ask your employer for time off to take care of your kids?

Image via Dave Castleton/Flickr

50 Creative Ways Scheming Kids Try to Delay Bedtime

Thu, 23 May 2013 14:16:00 EDT

Post by Jeanne Sager

I love bedtime with my kid. We crawl into her bed, settle ourselves among the sea of stuffed animals, Pillow Pets, and books, and I finally have her captive in one spot where I can ask her about her school day. It's blissful. But then I get up to go downstairs to do all my important adult-after-kid-goes-to-bed things -- OK, OK, to veg on the couch with my iPad and the TV remote -- and that's when the drama begins.

As every parent knows, putting your child to bed is easy. Getting them to stay in bed takes Harry Potter-style wizarding skills.

Kids will make up ANY excuse not to stay in bed. No really, their imaginations know no bounds! Behold just a few of the wild and wacky delay tactics kids use daily (nightly?):

1. I have to pee.

2. I need a drink of water.

3. That drink of water made me have to pee again!

4. It's not dark out yet.

5. It's too dark; I'm afraid!

6. I'm just checking to see if you're still up.

7. [Fifteen minutes later] Oh, I guess you're still up, Mom.

8. [Ten minutes later] I thought you'd be in bed by now, Dad.

9. I just wanted to say good morning! [Nice try kid!]

10. I forgot to tell you I love you.

11. You tucked me in, but I had to get my book when it fell on the floor, so I need you to tuck me in again.

12. It's not fair; you don't have to sleep alone!

13. My nightlight is too bright.

14. My nightlight isn't bright enough; I can't read by it.

15. My belly hurts!

16. My foot hurts!

17. I just scratched my bug bite that you told me not to scratch, and I'm bleeeeeeeding!

18. Can I have a Band-Aid for this [points at skin completely devoid of anything even resembling a boo boo]?

19. I need a hug!

20. I need another hug!

21. I didn't kiss Daddy.

22. I kissed Daddy, but I didn't want to make you feel bad. I want to kiss you too, Mommy.

23. There's a giant bug in my room [which will have mysteriously flown away when you get there, Mom].

24. There's a giant bug OUTSIDE my room.

25. But I didn't finish the daily challenge on [insert name of pointless video game here], and if I don't do it, I'll lose EVERYTHING.

26. I want to know what happens next in the story. Just one more chapter, please?

27. My stuffed animal fell out of bed [and I walked past it, down the hallway and all the way down the stairs to ask you to pick it up].

28. I didn't say good night to the guinea pig.

29. My shadow is really scary!

30. I thought you were lonely out in the living room without me.

31. Oops, I didn't finish my homework.

32. Can we go over my spelling words again?

33. I want to make a picture for my teacher because she's so cool!

34. What's this word in Ramona the Pest mean?

35. I forgot to tell you something REALLY important!

36. Can the cat come sleep with me?

37. [Twenty minutes later] The cat is snoring, and it's keeping me awake!

38. Can we have pizza for dinner on Friday night? [This will be asked on a Sunday night.]

39. Where is heaven?

40. [Five minutes later] Is GG-Pa in heaven?

41. [Two minutes later] What about Taylor's hamster? Is there hamster heaven?

42. I can get up now; I'm not tired anymore.

43. I had a nightmare!

44. I had a good dream, and I want to tell you about it.

45. I smelled food.

46. Did you make my lunch for tomorrow yet?

47. [Five minutes later] Just making sure you put PB&J in my lunch for tomorrow.

48. [Two minutes later] Wait, no, I want ham and cheese!

49. Talking about food made me hungry. Can I have a yogurt?

50. Can I have a drink of water?

And they wonder why parents drink?

What are your kid's craziest excuses for getting out of bed at night?

Image by Jeanne Sager

9 Tips for Co-Parenting After Divorce

Thu, 23 May 2013 13:27:00 EDT

Post by Adriana Velez

Usually when a couple splits up, the silver lining is that they never have to talk to each other ever, ever again. In fact, most of the time, it's best if they just cut off all contact, period, so they can move on with their lives. But when parents divorce, it's way more complicated. You do still have to talk with each other, probably all the time, because of the kids. You have to work out a parenting plan during your divorce. And you have to work out visitation and a million other little details like civilized people.

Since separating from my husband, I've learned a few things the hard way. Thankfully, we get along pretty well and we're on the same page about most things, so it hasn't been too hard. But here's what I've learned works.

1. Work out a temporary parenting plan. Divorcing parents have to create a formal parenting plan when they file, but even ahead of working out the formal plan, try to agree on a temporary plan.

2. Don't make your formal parenting plan permanent. A lot of parents find that situations change over time, and what works when your kids are 7 and 9 won't necessarily work when they're in their teens. A good rule of thumb is to plan for three years at a time and to leave flexibility in your plan so you can revisit your decisions every few years.

3. Work with a child specialist. You both need someone to help you think in terms of your child's best interests. Some things are not always entirely intuitive.

4. Always make it about the kids. Try to limit your conversations to just those about your kids. Don't pick fights -- and don't respond when he picks a fight with you.

5. Don't criticize each other's parenting. You may not like how your ex parents, but bite your tongue anyway (except in cases of abuse). No eye rolls, either, or sighing, or disapproving frowns.

6. Don't linger. When you're exchanging kids, just do a polite drop-off. Don't drag out the goodbyes, and don't skulk around looking for evidence of a new girlfriend. Likewise, set clear boundaries and don't let your ex sniff around your home or linger longer than he needs to.

7. Never bad-talk your ex in front of the kids. Now that you've split up, it's more important than ever that your kids develop a strong relationship with each parent, independently. Support that, and never, ever use your kids as pawns against your spouse. That's going to emotionally scar your kids.

8. Be precise and neutral in your communication with your ex. Say exactly what time you'll pick up, and then show up on time. Be clear about your expectations. When tensions are high, expecting someone to remember things or read your mind is just going to lead to an argument.

9. Get help for touchy confrontations. If you have something to tell your ex that you think may upset him, it may be easier to either communicate through your lawyer or in the presence of a mediator.

What have you learned about co-parenting after a divorce?

Image via katerha/Flickr

Company Recruits Autistic Workers and Gives Parents Hope

Thu, 23 May 2013 11:46:00 EDT

Post by Julie Ryan Evans

When I talk to parents with children who have autism, they often reveal their worries about the future. After the initial diagnosis and navigating the school years, they look to the future with trepidation not knowing what lies ahead in the "real" world for their children. Will they be able to find jobs? Will they be able to support themselves? So one big company's move to recruit autistic workers is incredibly welcome.

According to ABC, German software company SAP, which has more than 65,000 employees worldwide, plans to hire people with autism as software testers, programmers, and data quality assurance specialists. The company says it sees a "potential competitive advantage to leveraging the unique talents of people with autism, while also helping them to secure meaningful employment."

In a statement, SAP executive board member Luisa Delgado said they, along with Speialisterne, a company they're partnering with for recruitment efforts, believe "innovation comes from the 'edges.'" She stated: "Only by employing people who think differently and spark innovation will SAP be prepared to handle the challenges of the 21st century."

What an incredible way of thinking. Instead of focusing on what people with autism can't do, we should be embracing their strengths like this. With so many people -- as many as 1 in 50 according to some reports -- somewhere on the autism scale, companies who don't embrace people with the disorder are losing out on a talented pool of employees.

The company said one of the big barriers it will eliminate for people with autism is the interview process, which requires communication skills that are often challenging for people with autism. Having someone in the middle to facilitate the process could prove helpful.

A pilot program that took place in India was a great success, and SAP says it helped improve the morale and team culture. Anka Wittenberg, SAP's chief diversity and inclusion officer, said, "Autistic people don't understand sarcasm and they always speak the truth. Well, really everybody likes that."

Of course, autism affects everyone differently, and for some on the spectrum, such jobs may not be possible. But in general it's great to see a major company looking at the unique strengths many in this population possess and embracing them. May many more follow in their footsteps.

What do you think of this company's move to hire people with autism?

Image via brokinhrt2/Flickr

Freak Accident on School Field Trip Kills 1 Child and Leaves Another Missing

Thu, 23 May 2013 08:30:00 EDT

Post by Sasha Brown-Worsham

A freak accident on a school field trip in Minnesota has left one child dead and one more still missing. The group of fourth graders had been digging for fossils when the gravel they were standing on collapsed beneath their feet, forming a hole that swallowed four of the children.

Frantic digging uncovered two of them, but a third was killed and one more is still missing. It's an absolute nightmare scenario for a parent. One minute your child is happy and excited to be headed on a field trip, and the next they are gone. One of the hardest parts of parenting is knowing how vulnerable we are, and it's stories like this that remind us.

We can't stop sending our kids to school or on field trips (unless we want to be paranoid). We just have to trust and have faith that stories like this are the exception, not the norm. But how?

My heart breaks for the parents of these children. I can't even imagine what that call must have felt like for them, though I do have some inkling. It's the thing all parents play in their heads when we send our kids off to school. It's the fear in the back of our heads every time they play at the playground or do a gymnastics flip or run out ahead of us while cars go whizzing by.

Life is dangerous. We all know this. Most of the time, we can put these thoughts somewhere else. We have to in order to get through our days. The other day a friend of mine was saying she was nervous about her kid's field trip and I didn't get why. Her kid is 12 and seems more than capable of going on a field trip. But now I get it.

Though my children are small and I have a pretty decent handle on their day-to-day activities, they are starting to get more independent. Fourth grade is such a time of exploration, such a transition from younger child to bigger one. I can only imagine the fears those parents must have had and the skills it takes to let them explore anyway. Obviously, freak accidents can happen anywhere, but it IS scarier when they go on a trip like this.

Field trips are a good thing. Some of my favorite childhood memories were made on various school sponsored trips. But they do increase the chances of something bad happening. There is less supervision, more opportunity for things to go wrong, and just more variables in general. We can't pack the whole world full of cotton and hide our kids away, but sometimes stories like these make me want to.

My heart is breaking for everyone involved in this awful story.

Do you get scared of field trips?

Image via Marcin Wichary/Flickr

'Deployed' Military Dad's Appearance at Daughter's Gymnastics Meet Takes Everyone By Surprise (VIDEO)

Wed, 22 May 2013 16:30:00 EDT

Post by Mary Fischer

One of the hardest things for military parents to come to terms with is being far away from home and missing out on all of their kids' activities, school plays, and everything in between.

And that's why Major Jake Brittingham wanted to make his return from a five-month deployment to Africa extra special for his family and, in particular, for his 9-year-old daughter, Emma.

Unbeknownst to her -- or her mom -- Major Brittingham arranged to surprise Emma at her gymnastics competition with his homecoming. (Making it even sweeter, it was her very first one.) And little did he know that he'd literally be making her wishes come true by doing so.

Before she took the mat, the announcer asked Emma, "If you had one wish today, what would it be?" She replied, "That my dad could be here."

Watch the video clip below to see what happened next.

See this video on The Stir by CafeMom.

OMG. Did you lose it when she saw him and yelled, "Daddy?"

That totally broke me. I was so happy for the two of them I could hardly stand it.

And it must have been agonizing for him to have to hole up in that office at the gymnasium all day instead of rushing home to his family. Wasn't it cool how he was still texting and Skyping the girls as if he were still in Africa? That definitely helped throw them off course. And the fact that he didn't even spill the beans to his wife, Kelley (or at least that's how it sounded), is even more impressive.

It must have made the moment even more special for her as a mom, and also as a wife. Any man who will go to such great lengths for his child's happiness is definitely one heck of a catch. Kelley must have been beaming with pride to know how much being an amazing dad means to her husband.

But can you believe now that he's finally home, they have to pack up and move to Germany in three weeks? (Never a dull moment, I guess.)

What did you find most moving about this reunion?

Image via AmericaVideoMontage/YouTube

9-Year-Old Tornado Victims Found Together Were Best Friends to the End

Wed, 22 May 2013 15:06:00 EDT

Post by Kiri Blakeley

Two elementary school children were best friends in life, each the other's greatest comfort, and in death, it was no different. The two 9-year-old girls perished together in Plaza Towers, one of the schools razed by the devastating tornado in Moore, Oklahoma. The girls were "inseparable" in life, and at the end, it appears they clung to each other. Says the mom of one of the girls: "We take some comfort in thinking that she and Emily were holding onto each other and not alone."

The girls died in the basement of the school, where seven children reportedly drowned after seeking shelter there, only to have it fill up with water, apparently from leaking pipes. (Reports differ as to how the children died.) Brandie Candelaria, mom of Antonia Lee Candelaria, says that Antonia and her best friend, Emily Conatzer, died hand in hand as the school was torn apart around them.

There is scant comfort in your child dying, but Brandie is soothed by the idea that the two girls, who'd been best friends since they began living in the same neighborhood a year ago, died together. She says:

I went to see my little girl yesterday at the Chief Medical Examiner’s office. There were little marks, imprints, and tiny scratches on her forearm like someone had been holding onto her, clinging to her.

Brandie calls Antonia her "little ladybug" and says:

She had such a beautiful innocence about her, such a whole different way of looking at things. You’d think 'How in the world did she come up with that?' Then you’d think about it and it would make a kind of sense.

The pain of losing a child has to be one of the most excruciating in the world. Knowing that at least her daughter had her best friend there in her final moments is something this family can cling to to bring just a tiny fraction of relief to their devastation. Antonia's uncle wrote on Facebook:

They found her this morning holding her best friends hand. They went to heaven together so they didn't have to be alone.

Just thinking about Antonia and Emily in heaven, scampering about with their hands clasped tight together, chasing ladybugs and angels, is terribly sad -- and beautiful.

Can you imagine what these parents are going through? Do you think this brings them comfort?

Image via AFS-USA Intercultural Programs/Flickr

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Make Out in Front of the Kids -- Don't You?

Wed, 22 May 2013 14:27:00 EDT

Post by Jeanne Sager

Well, it turns out celebrity parents are just like us! At least when it comes to grossing out their kids! Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt recently got a request from 8-year-old daughter Zahara Jolie-Pitt to lay off the smooching in front of them!

With a daughter set to turn 8 in just a few weeks, I'm waiting to hear the same thing out of her mouth. But will I listen to her? Not on her life!

And neither should Brad and Angie! At least not if they know what's good for their big brood?

Kissing in front of our kids is not just a right and privilege, the way I see it, it's good for them.

Note I said kissing. Not sex. Not a 15-minute-long make-out session with tongues and groping of one another's asses.

But a kiss hello or goodbye? A spontaneous swoop in just to say "honey, I love you" while you're making dinner? I'm all about that kind of PDA in front of my kid.

When her dad and I kiss or when Brad and Angie kiss in front of Zahara and her siblings, the message that's being sent is one of love. You're modeling a healthy relationship, one that they'll remember when they get older and start looking for someone to settle down with.

Moments of love between parents are also reassuring for kids. With divorce a pretty common thing in America these days, most kids have at least a handful of friends whose parents aren't together anymore. I know my daughter has asked if that's going to happen to us; just because it's happened to her friends' parents. When she sees us kiss or hug or hold hands, we're sending her a message that things are OK here at home, that she doesn't need to worry -- everything's good on the home front.

Considering their relationship is constantly being splashed on magazine covers (and more than a few times there have been rumors of breakups), Angelina and Brad have to send the same message to their kids, and those kisses do a world of wonder. Even if they do gross them out!

Do you kiss in front of your kids? What do the kids say about it?

Image via Splash News

Helen Mirren Makes Dying Boy's Wish Come True After Queen of England Turns Him Down

Wed, 22 May 2013 14:16:00 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

The thought of a child being given only weeks to live is absolutely heartbreaking. The thought of that same child being denied his dying wish is heartbreaking beyond words. Sadly, that's what nearly happened to 10-year-old Oliver Burton of Leicester, UK. Diagnosed with leukemia at the age of 3, Oliver, who also has Down syndrome, recently had a severe relapse -- an untreatable relapse, according to his doctors. Devastated but determined to make their son's final days the best of his short life, Oliver's parents vowed to spend the rest of his time checking off items on his "wish list."

What Oliver wanted more than anything was to visit the Queen of England at Buckingham Palace. Unfortunately, his family was told this wouldn't be possible.

As for why this wouldn't be possible, no explanation has been given (although whatever it is, I doubt it's a good enough reason for saying "no" to a dying 10-year-old). But thanks to the National Children’s Tumor Leukemia Cancer Trust and actress/amazing human being Helen Mirren, it doesn't matter.

See, Mirren happens to be playing the Queen right now in her West End play, The Audience. So she graciously agreed to play the Queen for Oliver, too.

First, Oliver got to ride in a stretch limo from his home to London to see Mirren's play, then he and his parents were invited backstage for tea and biscuits with Mirren (still in full costume and makeup) and the corgis from the show!

"She stayed in character for the whole thing," said Oliver's dad, James Browne, of Mirren. "Oliver thought she was the real Queen, and well, that's good enough for us."

Mirren even knighted Oliver "Sir Oliver"!

I absolutely adore Helen Mirren and the National Children's Tumor Leukemia Cancer Trust. Not because they made a dying boy's dream come true, but because the reality they gave Oliver was even better than his wildest dreams: I'm sure that the love, attention, and warmth Oliver experienced meeting the "Queen" was a million times more than what he would have experienced meeting the Queen.

Do you think Helen Mirren made Oliver's dying wish come true?

Image via Facebook

Working Moms Should Cut Corners When It Comes to Their Kids’ School Functions

Tue, 21 May 2013 19:58:00 EDT

Post by Sasha Brown-Worsham
In New York at tony private schools, it has apparently become der rigeur for parents to send nannies to do their parental duties once every few weeks. Things like "safety patrol" and bake sales that parents have traditionally taken care of are now being passed off to the hired help. Some parents are mad, but I say, good on them.

I would never advocate that working parents shirk all responsibilities, but the things that can be outsourced can and should be as much as possible. The reality is that at some schools there are MANY duties expected of parents during the school year and it is for working parents, especially those of us who have 2+ kids.

In the Post piece, one woman defends herself by saying she has three kids in 3 different schools and she makes a good point. Different schools have different schedules and there are some weeks I have had some event or project or field trip or bake sale every single day of the week between my children's schools and I only have two (so far). So why not cut a few corners? Bring napkins instead of homemade muffins to the bake sale! Ask a sitter to step in for school play duty! By all means, do the things that matter, but cut corners when you can.

Go when it matters and delegate when it doesn't! With both of my children, I did co-op preschools. One was when I was a stay at home mom and the other was when I was working part time. I went back to work full time during that last year and it was so overwhelming. My husband and I managed it, but we promised ourselves we would never do that again.

We have been lucky enough to live close to my daughter's elementary school and to find ways to be involved without major time away from either of our jobs, but if there were a required duty that I could outsource, like a monthly cleaning or any other kind of commitment that did not really involve my kids, I would do so.

Our second co-op school actually had a rule about outsourcing. You had to sign a contract that even the icky jobs -- composting, gardening, monthly clean ups -- were not to be outsourced. Parents had to do it. You signed on and were locked in and believe me, I would not sign anything like that again. It was a lot of work.

I think we can get past a lot of the sanctimonious stuff by just agreeing that every single one us -- rich, poor, working, staying home, fat, thin, whatever -- wants what is best for our kids. Period. End of story. But we all have different ways of getting there.

We would do a lot better to judge less and lend a helping hand more. If I have an extra 15 minutes, I might help that mom struggling with her stroller and send her home even though today was her day to help with after school enrichment sign out. Then I hope if I am on deadline next week and I have to send my sitter in my stead, that she might be that understanding next week, too. We all have our reasons and hiring someone to bake a cake seems a lot less of a big to me than missing a school play. I say we cut where we can so we can always have time for the big things.

How do you cut corners in school volunteering?

I Love My Kid Too Much to Get Her a Store-Bought Birthday Cake

Tue, 21 May 2013 18:13:00 EDT

Post by Jeanne Sager

I have spent weeks. No days. OK, OK, weeks, combing Pinterest for the perfect idea for cupcakes for my daughter's upcoming birthday party. She wants pandas, and she's going to get pandas if I have to stay up until 3 a.m. crafting cute little black and white bear cubs until my fingers bleed.

Yes, I am one of those moms, the moms Good Morning America called out for being cakezillas who intimidate other moms with their push for perfection this week. A store-bought birthday cake just isn't good enough for my baby.

It sounds nuts, doesn't it?

I know it does. I know I'm trying too hard.

Every year after the party is over and the kids have gone home, I sit down on my couch and vow to lay off next year, to give myself a break. I'll hire someone to bake the cake! I'll go store-bought! I'll bite off something I can actually chew!

And then spring hits, and my daughter's June birthday looms, and there I am, furiously searching for an idea to blow my kid away. Because I just.

Can't.

Stop.

It's a sickness that I'm not quite sure how to explain, but I'll give it my best shot: I feel like making my kid's birthday awesome is part of getting her childhood "right," and that means doing things myself. I just can't bring myself to accept the "help" of an outside baker. The very idea fills me up with dread. Last year I was sick as a dog before my daughter's birthday, and even letting my husband make her "bring to school" cupcakes made me cry.

Call it being a cakezilla. Call it peer pressure. Call it extreme parenting. Or just call it crazy.

But I have a feeling I'm not alone, and not just because of the GMA story on us birthday cake nuts. As a mom there is always something you feel you need to do yourself, that you just won't accept help on.

For me it's the birthday cake.

Maybe for you it was the baby book.

Maybe it's bath time.

Or bed time.

Or being the mom who HAS to volunteer to chaperone the kids' field trips because you just feel compelled to spend a day on a bus full of screaming 8-year-olds.

We all have something we feel like we need to do for our kids and do all by ourselves, if only to prove that we can. Whether our kids will even notice is hard to tell. Every year she thanks me for her cake. But will she remember them in 10 years? In 20? Will she remember that Mommy was up into the wee hours on a muggy June night making a second cake because the first one stuck to the pan?

Maybe she will. Maybe she won't.

But doing this for my kid isn't about judging other mothers (I could give a fig if you go store-bought). It's about me showing my kid I love her in a way that works for me (and my neuroses).

So don't be intimidated by my homemade birthday cake, and I won't be intimidated by your picture-perfect nursery.

We all show love in different ways.

Have you fallen prey to the "must make the perfect cake" monster? Or is it something else you just can't delegate?

Image by Jeanne Sager

6-Year-Old Kid Admits She’s a ‘Freeloader’ in Hilarious Homework Note

Tue, 21 May 2013 16:59:00 EDT

Post by Adriana Velez

Have you got a smart-mouthed kid? Ever catch your son or daughter making jokes on their homework? Well you'll love this kid. On a school worksheet that prompts: "I earn my money at home by ___" a child named Frankie replies, "I don't. I am a freeloader." Oh Frankie! Telling it like it is. That sounds just like my kid, actually. He's a freeloader, too. And he's also kind of a smart mouth.

The Reddit user who posted this note online admits Frankie may have learned that word from his parents -- and that "knowing her parents, it was definitely out of humor." Still, Frankie has a point. Aren't all kids total freeloaders, really?

Who else would you house, clothe, feed, clean, counsel, repair, soothe, and educate all for nothing? Even if your kids do chores, we all know who does most of the work around the house. And we definitely know who earns all the money.

But could you ever possibly find a more lovable freeloader than your own kid? Oh we may complain all the time, but honestly. Having that little freeloader in my home who's constantly sponging off every little resource I have to offer makes me immeasurably happy. The kind of happy that doesn't make sense on a balance sheet. Because what I get back from all that freeloading is unconditional love and the joy of watching someone grow up from a tiny, helpless baby into a strong, independent, fascinating little boy.

So here's to our little freeloaders. We hope they're not still living off our generosity when they grow up! But for now, this is what we signed up for -- and I for one love it.

Have you ever called your kid a freeloader?

Image via allenme213/Reddit

Oklahoma Parents' Tearful Reunions With Their Kids After Tornado Give Us Hope (VIDEOS)

Tue, 21 May 2013 12:28:00 EDT

Post by Adriana Velez

Once again we're all hugging our children just a few seconds longer this morning before we send them off to school. As of this writing, 9 children have died in the Moore, Oklahoma tornado. With perverse precision, this storm managed to focus its deadly winds on two elementary schools, Briarwood and Plaza Towers. And we're yet again witnessing the unbearable news of children in the path of danger, some cruelly wrested from this world.

So we watch reunions. Seeing Oklahoma parents who have found their children and get to hold their babies again is a sweet balm for all of us who are saddened by the tragedy. It's almost as if watching over and over again could undo all the deaths -- almost. But of course, that's impossible. Even now, there are parents still searching for their kids. And if knowing that opens up another gash of heartache for you, bring your mind back to the children who survived.

The Oklahoman/NewsOK.com captured footage of families at Briarwood Elementary reuniting in the aftermath of the tornado. There's chaos, as families try to find each other. And there are unabashed tears of joy and relief as parents grasp their children -- and their children dissolve into the comfort and safety of those embraces.

A father and his son tell what the boy went through as he weathered the storm with his classmates and teacher at school.

See this video on The Stir by CafeMom.

Another boy describes his experience in the storm (at about 1:38) and starts to break down. Fortunately, his mother was able to be with him at the time. She covered him with her body.

See this video on The Stir by CafeMom.

Our hearts go out to all the families in Moore, Oklahoma, but especially to families who lost children, and families who are still looking for their children. Here are 10 ways you can help families affected by the tornado.

Image via NewsOK.com/CNN

Mom Forces Bully Daughter to Wear Thrift Store Clothes for Picking on Classmate’s Outfit (VIDEO)

Tue, 21 May 2013 11:49:00 EDT

Post by Kiri Blakeley

When a woman in Utah was informed by her 10-year-old stepdaughter Kaylee's teacher that Kaylee had been bullying a classmate so badly that the girl no longer wanted to come to school, the woman, Ally (who doesn't reveal her last name), did the unthinkable. She didn't tell the teacher that her precious snowflake couldn't possibly be a bully. She didn't sue the school. And she didn't go to the press to complain about how her daughter is falsely being accused. Instead, she believed the teacher and decided to teach her stepdaughter a lesson. Because Kaylee had been, according to the teacher, making fun of another girl's clothes and calling her a "slob" and a "sleaze," Ally marched straight down ... to the local thrift store.

At the thrift store, Ally picked out $50 worth of clothes that she knew Kaylee would never wear, and the next morning, Kaylee woke up to find her unflattering duds hanging on the bathroom door for her to wear to school. Ally told her this would be her outfit for the day. How ingenious is this?! "She really needed to feel how this felt to know that this was wrong," says Ally.

Kaylee says when she first looked at the clothes, she "died."

Kaylee had to wear thrift store clothes for two days and she says in that time, she herself became the victim of bullying.

Although an expert says that this kind of payback lesson will only make a kid "angry," that's not what happened with Kaylee, who has a "mother-daughter" relationship with Ally, whose father has custody of her.

She says she understands what Ally was trying to teach her. About bullying, she now says, "It's stupid and it's mean."

"I think now that she knows what it feels like," says Ally.

I'm not so sure that two days in bad clothing will erase the bully from this girl's system, but it's a start. And let's all applaud Ally for being willing to believe that her stepdaughter wasn't perfect and might actually be bullying someone. Too many parents are in denial about how mean kids can be -- and sometimes those kids ARE their own!

I really wish there were more moms like Ally. Kaylee is very lucky to have her -- as are her classmates!

Do you think Ally did the right thing?

Image via FOX13

Apologies to My Children, at Ages 7 and 5

Tue, 21 May 2013 08:00:00 EDT

Post by Linda Sharps

(I wrote some apologies to my kids four years ago -- I thought it was time for a followup.)

Riley,

I'm sorry I don't always have the patience to endure the near-constant barrage of pshew pshew pshew sound effects that come out of your noise-hole. I don't know what mental movie is playing so frequently in your active little brain, but I suspect it's directed by Michael Bay and gets a one-and-a-half-star rating on Rotten Tomatoes. I'm sorry if I sometimes fail to assemble my facial features into a properly stunned expression when you show me your latest Lego creation, and I'm sorry for that one time I deadpanned, "Boy, I can't WAIT to step on that thing in the dead of night" instead of marveling over your building skills, which are in fact quite impressive.

I'm sorry I cannot share your unbridled enthusiasm for "Gangnam Style" and I'm sorry for whatever grievous schoolyard situation exposed you to the accompanying dance, which you have no qualms about performing in line at the grocery store.

I'm sorry that you're still such a pain about trying new foods, and I'm sorry you cry so easily over small hurts, and I'm sorry you can be annoyingly rigid about certain things. I'm sorry that I'm not always completely understanding of the ways in which you are sensitive, and I'm sorry that I don't always know where to draw the line between firmness and gentle coaching and I'm sorry that I'm basically making up this parenting shit as I go along. I'm sorry that it doesn't seem fair that you have to endure the clumsy flailings of amateurs, when you are the most important work of my life.

I'm sorry that I still grab your butt sometimes, and that I swoop you sideways into my arms and force you to endure loud gobbly mom-kisses. I'm sorry if I embarrass you by telling you every day how handsome and smart I think you are. I'm sorry I make you hold hands with me and your brother whenever we cross busy parking lots, and that I always shout "Ducklings!" while you two make loud quacking noises. I'm sorry I leap onto your bed every night and say, "WHAT NEVER HAPPENS IN THIS HOUSE?" and you roll your eyes and recite: "Mommy never forgets to tuck Riley in." I'm sorry I like to sneak back in, long after you've fallen asleep, to check just one last time.

I'm sorry, but you'll always secretly be my favorite.

Dylan,

I'm sorry you are so crippled with shyness when you're around other people, but when you're home with me, you never stop talking EVER. I'm sorry for the number of times I've replied to your chirpy question with a distracted "Mmm-hmmm" only to belatedly realize I've just agreed that sharks can be milked or that astronauts put corks in their butts to stop them from space-pooping. I'm sorry your easy good cheer can switch with mercurial speed and that your small fury has the intensity of a thousand burning suns stomping around in 5T pants.

I'm sorry your baby-soft edges and rolls have long been replaced by knobby knees and jabby elbows and a strong little boytorso, but whenever I look at you, I see the improbable perfection of you being your own glorious growing self, stationed in this lovely place past the land of toddlerhood, yet not quite in the school-aged world. I'm sorry I like to tickle you and nom your cheeks and pretend I am a mother whistlepig grooming her baby and I'm particularly sorry about that last one because let's be honest, son, that just sounds weird as hell.

I'm sorry that I can't always give 100 percent of my attention to you. I'm sorry I don't indulge you in as many games of Old Maid as you'd like. I'm sorry I'm kind of over this stage you're in where you want to jump over various things and you constantly demand that I watch all your big, HUMONGOUS jumps and I'm sorry I am seriously just so tired of the jumping, uh-huh, yup, that was a big one.

I'm sorry that there sometimes seems to be a sort of gulf between us, one that has to do with me feeling like you see me as the boring parent who does boring things like work at the computer or run errands, while Dad is the incredibly awesome one you wish you spent your days with. I'm sorry I'm not better about not taking such things personally. I'm sorry you'll never know how I visualize myself erasing this distance every single night when I smother you in kisses and tell you over and over how very much I love you, and remind myself that tomorrow is another day that I get to be your mom, and what an indescribable joy that is.

I'm sorry, but you'll always secretly be my favorite.

Image via Linda Sharps

Why Keeping Kids From Funerals Is a Bad Idea

Mon, 20 May 2013 15:59:00 EDT

Post by Sasha Brown-Worsham

Last week, my mother-in-law died suddenly of a heart attack in her sleep on Mother's Day. There are no words for the grief and shock and pain this sent through our family as we rushed to pack all of our things and start the 10-hour drive back to my husband's hometown to be with his family and friends.

As we loaded our 6-year-old daughter and nearly 5-year-old son into the car, we had many questions about what they understood and didn't understand. Our daughter immediately cried and seemed to understand while our son reacted with more shock and some silly behavior. He didn't seem to get it.

When we arrived late the first night, the children were asleep, and as the family gathered to quietly talk, cry, and pray, we left them out of it.

Our collective sorrow was so strong and the emotions so raw I was afraid we might scare the children. When they did see it the next day, they seemed confused: "Why is everyone so sad?" We explained it. Again and again. Multiple times over the course of the week. But they didn't get it. Until they came to the funeral.

At first we assumed that of course our children would come to the funeral, but then we second-guessed it. Were they too young? Would my son make embarrassing, loud remarks while people grieved?

He had been acting out by announcing her death to strangers and saying inappropriate things about death to anyone who would listen. Still, all the research says we needed to include them, that they would regret being left out and perhaps even be angry in later years.

So we allowed them to come to the end of the viewing and see their grandmother one last time before they closed the casket. As we stood over her, I could tell my son was afraid, his eyes were wide and confused, but then he started to cry. He finally understood. Our daughter did the same. We all wept together.

About a half hour later, we had a neighbor bring them back to the house while we stood in the receiving line. The next day, they came along to the funeral where they sat quietly, holding hands with their grandfather and curling into us. They didn't understand the service or the scope of their loss, but they understood that others were sad and that they had, indeed, lost someone who they could never get back.

As I looked at their beautiful faces, dressed in navy and dress clothing, my heart broke a little. My grandmother was one of the closest relationships in my life at their age. Her visits filled me with excitement and her love for me always made me feel so special.

I know what they have lost. It's every bit as enormous as what the rest of us have lost. Nothing can replace a grandmother taken too soon and suddenly. They needed to be there, to honor her with their family and to be part of the service. She loved them deeply.

As they left, they started to get silly and hungry. They started to act like children again. The grief has come and gone in the days that followed, but not for one second have we regretted allowing them to be there. We had a backup plan -- a neighbor would have taken them outside had it come to that -- but we never needed it.

Their presence brought enormous comfort. They are a living, breathing reminder that her life isn't completely over. She lives in them. They are a reminder of the future and the parts of her that will continue to grow and thrive. They belonged there.

It's hard to believe I ever questioned their presence. When people ask if children belong at funerals, it isn't a simple answer. It does depend on their age and level of comprehension, but I have no regrets about bringing them. It was the right thing in every way. It helped them grieve and really say goodbye.

Our hearts are breaking, but they are breaking together.

Do you take kids to funerals?

Expert Questions Flu Vaccine's Safety, Effectiveness

Mon, 20 May 2013 15:27:00 EDT

Post by Lindsay Ferrier

Based on my pediatrician's advice, I have made a point of getting my kids and myself a flu shot every single year.

So you'd better believe I sat up and took notice when a Johns Hopkins scientist released a study recently that questions whether the flu shot is as safe and effective as we've been led to believe.

Suddenly, I'm not feeling so good about those flu shots.

The article was written by Peter Doshi, PhD, a scientist at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, and published in the British Medical Journal. In it, Doshi had some pretty strong words for the CDC.

For one thing, Doshi says the shot has been poorly tested in studies that used subjects who tended to be healthy, as opposed to the general population.

"Here the salesmen are public health officials, worried little about which brand of vaccine you get so long as they can convince you to take influenza seriously," he wrote. "But it is essential to base those messages on solid science, and here is where CDC is failing when it comes to influenza."

As for the flu shot's safety, Doshi wrote, "For most people, and possibly most doctors, officials need only claim that vaccines save lives, and it is assumed there must be solid research behind it." But he questioned whether that was really the case, citing an Australian study that showed one in every 110 kids under 5 had convulsions after getting the flu shot in 2009 for H1N1. The H1N1 vaccine also has been linked to cases of narcolepsy in adolescents, according to NewsMax.

The bottom line, according to Doshi? "The vaccine may be less beneficial and less safe than has been claimed, and the threat of influenza seems to be overstated," he wrote.

It's food for thought.

My father's a doctor and has long been opposed to my family and me getting the flu vaccination. He's always believed that the risks outweigh the benefits -- still, I thought I knew best.

Now, I'm not so sure.

What are your thoughts? Do you get the flu shot for your kids? Will you continue to do so?

Image via Zaldylmg/Flickr

Mom Wastes $35K a Year on Designer Wardrobe for Son

Mon, 20 May 2013 14:51:00 EDT

Post by Mary Fischer

You know how sometimes you hear something that makes you shake your head so hard you wind up all dizzy? Yeah, that's how I felt after hearing about a mom who spends thousands on her 8-year-old son's wardrobe -- and is actually proud of it.

Vicky Antonia is so dead set on her son Zak being dressed to the nines that she admits shelling out over £20,000 on designer name clothes for him. (That's $35,000 a year. OMG.)

Want to know why? Because she apparently likes "dressing him like a doll."

(For reals.)

And when I say designer -- I mean designer. Some of the labels in Zak's closet include Armani, Prada, Gucci, Burberry, and the list goes on.

Of her decision to outfit her son in the best attire money can buy, Vicky says, "I know it must sound like I am spoiling him, but I just want him to look his best, what is wrong with making your son look good? I just didn't know that there was any other way. I didn't think to get him clothes from anywhere else."

Ok, so it's obvious this mom has more disposable income than any of us can hope to have over the course of a lifetime -- but is she nuts?!?

Does she not a.) realize how fast little boys grow out of their clothes, and/or b.) understand that boys are basically magnets for things like grass stains and food spills?

Ever since my son was a baby, I've stuck to stores like Target and Old Navy to purchase all of his clothes, unless he needs some sort of fancier outfit for a special occasion. Sure, some of the pricier brand names offer really cute pieces in their lines -- but I just can't justify spending over $20 or so on something that will likely only be worn a few times before it becomes too small or gets ruined in one way or another.

And don't even bother trying to tell me I'd feel differently if I were a gazillionaire or something like that. Even if I'd been the lucky woman who won the $600 million Powerball jackpot Saturday night -- I still wouldn't shop at high-end stores for my son. Any way you look at it, spending that much on a kid is basically like taking money and flushing it directly into the toilet. And even if you have a lot of it -- who wants to waste it like that?

You never know when your circumstances can change and it can all be taken away in an instant, so isn't it a good rule of thumb to hold off on throwing it away on children's clothes -- at least until they're teenagers and stop growing? (Or until they turn 18 and get a job and can buy their own clothes. That's an even better plan.)

Do you spend a lot of money on your kids' clothes?

Image via Stewart Black/Flickr

Soldier Surprises 9-Year-Old Who's Waited Nearly 2 Years to See Him in Unexpected Place (VIDEO)

Mon, 20 May 2013 12:53:00 EDT

Post by Jeanne Sager

Who doesn't love a military homecoming video? Grinches? Well, even their hearts will grow a few sizes once they catch what a soldier dad returning from Afghanistan did to surprise his 9-year-old daughter at a Tampa Bay Rays baseball game the other day.

Lt. Col. Will Adams knew his daughter deserved a little something special after putting up with life without Daddy for nearly two years. So he arranged for Alayna to throw out the first pitch at the Major League Baseball game. And then he put on a uniform ... but not the one he wore to fight insurgents in Afghanistan. Just watch:

Ohhhh. Her face! That's a girl who loves her daddy!

I've been trying to figure out why I can't stop watching this video, and it finally hit me. Here's a dad who gets what his kid has been through.

Yes, the homecoming is a big moment for him; he's spent nearly two years far away from home in the middle of a warzone. But his third grader has put in her time too. She's missed bedtime with Daddy tucking her in, and walking across the street with Dad's hand to hold. And while the soldier's sacrifice deserves to be celebrated and marked, so does the child's.

But it takes a really good Dad to remember that!

Why are YOU obsessed with this video?

Image via Tampa Bay Times

School Bans Kids From Making Mother's Day and Father's Day Cards

Mon, 20 May 2013 11:12:00 EDT

Post by Julie Ryan Evans

Is it just me, or does it feel like disdain for Mother's Day and Father's Day has been growing in recent years? For what are supposed to be a couple of sweet days of celebration for some people in our life, there's been a storm of backlash, including this latest move from a school that has eliminated both days altogether and replaced them with Family Day.

According to CTV, Astral Drive Elementary School in Nova Scotia has chosen to do away with any projects for (no cute hand-print cards!) or mention of either traditional holiday and instead now celebrates the International Day of Families, so non-traditional families are included. School officials said they did it to avoid children feeling isolated, which is lovely in theory ... but complete overkill in general.

I grew up in a traditional two-parent family, so I don't profess to know how uncomfortable or painful it might be for children who have lost a mother or father, or who have two mothers or two fathers (or any other combination that makes up their unique family) to watch other kids make sentimental gifts for their parents. I do, however, know that life is full of such occasions that make people feel different, feel left out, and feel pain. And that's okay -- that's part of life.

We simply can't keep trying to make schools and the world in general places in which no one will get their feelings hurt. We will never create a perfect utopia that is all-inclusive. It's not possible, nor is it even desirable. We all are different. Different is not bad.

The fact is that children grow and learn from situations like this, and by whitewashing the world to attempt to protect them, we're doing them a disservice. Should teachers be sensitive and work with students on alternative ideas during such specific holidays? Absolutely. But to completely do away with it is not just a progressive sign of the times, it's overkill. It's killing off something that has been a sweet tradition for many families, and it shouldn't be eliminated just to spare the feelings of a few.

Adding a celebration of family is great (the more homemade cards and gifts, the better!), but sacrificing Mother's Day and Father's Day to do so is just too much.

Do you think schools should do away with Mother's Day and Father's Day celebrations?

Image via edenpictures/Flickr

25 Things That Belong on Any Mom's Spring Travel Packing Checklist

Mon, 20 May 2013 10:45:00 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

Remember traveling before you had kids? Packing was a breeze: A few of your favorite wrinkle-free outfits, makeup/toiletries bag, Advil, iPod, a good book (Kindles weren't invented yet when I was still childless, okay?), maybe a protein bar or two, and you were good to go! Fast-forward to filling a suitcase (or several) with everything your family needs to survive sans the comforts of home: Wait a second, are we going on vacation or are we moving?!

It's true, there's really no such thing as traveling light when kids are involved. But if you plan ahead and keep organized, packing doesn't have to feel like punishment. Here are 25 things every mom should have on her spring travel checklist:

Stuff to keep 'em busy on the road (or plane):

1. Books (either actual books, a Kindle, or audiobooks on iPod -- remember headphones)

2. Travel games (such as magnetic bingo)

3. Coloring books or sketchbooks and colored pencils (won't stain or get all over fingers like markers/washable markers or melt into car seats like crayons)

4. Etch-a-Sketch or Magna Doodle

5. Mad Libs or Question & Answer games like Brain Quest

Stuff to keep 'em safe, comfortable & clean:

6. Baby wipes (no matter how old they are!)

7. Neosporin and Band-Aids

8. Anti-bacterial wipes

9. Sunscreen

10. Aloe

11. Bug spray

12. Anti-itch cream

13. Tylenol/Advil

14. Anti-nausea medicine/pressure point wristbands

15. Changes of clothes in case of accidents/spills

16. Benadryl (Epi-pen if necessary)

17. Thermometer

Stuff to keep disaster from striking:

18. Batteries

19. Chargers for cellphone, camera, laptop, etc.

20. Printouts of reservations, tickets, etc.

Stuff to keep 'em full:

21. Individually packed healthy snacks (crackers, pretzels)

22. Dried fruit/fruit rolls (sturdier than fresh fruit)

23. Bottles of water

24: Granola bars

25: Lollipops (for take-off and landing if flying)

What are your spring travel checklist staples?

Image via Kristen Taylor/Flickr

5-Year-Old Who Saved Mom's Life Wants to Be Known as Batman From Now On

Sat, 18 May 2013 07:28:00 EDT

Post by Jeanne Sager

The biggest hero of this week isn't big at all. He's just a regular 5-year-old from North Carolina. When Caleb Taylor woke from a nap in the backseat of his mom's car, he saw her having a seizure, and like any true superhero would do, he unbuckled, leaped forward, and managed to steer the car off the road and turn it off.

Naturally, the little boy has told reporters that he'd like to be referred to as Batman in the future.

Whatever you say, Kid, er Batman. You deserve it! Caleb's mom, Sandra Taylor, is OK thanks to her son's quick thinking. A passerby called 911 and helped the little guy out at the scene until emergency workers could come.

The Taylors' story gives us a happy ending to a long and not necessarily happy week (seriously, I wrote about a mom putting her toddler up for adoption on Craigslist this week ... and that wasn't the WORST news of the week). It makes me want to grab this adorable little superhero up and cover him with kisses ... which is pretty much why most 5-year-old boys hate moms like me.

But it's more than that.

Caleb's story is one of those in-your-face reminders that sometimes our kids are going to surprise us.

It's not always by leaping to our rescue. More often it's something far simpler ...

A few weeks ago my daughter came home with a random plastic bag in her backpack. I was confused, until my husband explained that she'd spotted it on the ground near her dance center and wanted to bring it home to put it in the trash ... so no animals would be hurt by it.

Did she save my life? No. But it made me grin. She did something without being told out of the goodness of her heart ... because the lessons I'm working so hard to impart ARE sinking in!

Little Batman is a pretty incredible kid, but behind him must be two pretty great parents. They're doing something right here!

Have your kids ever surprised you in this way? What happened?

Image via TobyOtter/Flickr

Krim Family's Pregnancy Announcement Is Sweet News for Their Surviving Daughter

Fri, 17 May 2013 10:50:00 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

A joyful announcement from a couple who has suffered more sorrow than anyone should ever have to experience: Marina and Kevin Krim are expecting a baby this fall. I still can't think about the incomprehensibly tragic murders of 6-year-old Lucia Krim and her 2-year-old brother Leo last year without feeling physically sick, so to even contemplate what these past months have been like for their parents -- well, it's virtually impossible. As a mom, though, I would venture to guess that their surviving daughter, 4-year-old Nessie -- spared from her siblings' horrible fate because she was at a swim class with her mother when nanny Yoselyn Ortega allegedly stabbed the children to death -- is why they've managed to keep getting up in the morning.

In January, Kevin Krim said of Nessie: "Marina and I couldn't be more proud of her -- she is very smart, beautiful, and tough. And she's grown so much over the past two months. She saves us every day."

And perhaps part of the reason the Krims decided to have another child is to save Nessie. She, too, is coping with tremendous loss -- how can a 4-year-old be expected to understand why she'll never see her big sister or little brother again? Her siblings can never be replaced, of course, but her parents are giving her another little brother or sister to cherish and love in Lucia and Leo's absence. They're also saving Nessie from the burden of growing up as the "sole survivor," a title that invariably comes with guilt, isolation, and a sometimes crippling amount of pressure.

On the Lulu & Leo Fund Facebook page, Kevin Krim posted of the pregnancy:

We are very happy to let you know that Marina is expecting a baby in the fall. Nessie can't wait to welcome her new baby brother. We are filled with many emotions as we look to the future, but the most important one is hope.

We are very grateful to you all for your amazing support.

The most important one is hope, indeed. And isn't that what a new baby is all about?

Are you happy to hear about the Krim family's new baby?

Image via Facebook