The Stir By CafeMom: Blogger Sasha Brown-Worsham

Devastating Oklahoma Tornado Hits With Terrifying Force (VIDEO)

Mon, 20 May 2013 18:15:00 EDT

Post by Sasha Brown-Worsham

A suburb of Oklahoma City has been leveled by what appears to be a massive tornado that some are calling the most destructive in the history of the world. Yes, seriously. The terrifying storm struck just south of the city on Monday afternoon, ripping apart homes and other buildings, including at least one elementary school.

The National Weather Service issued a tornado emergency, which is apparently unusual even for this part of the Midwest. It indicates that widespread damage and fatalities were likely. The images from the scene are horrifying and one news anchor said it was the "biggest destructive tornado in the history of the world."

Terrifying does not even begin to cut it. Here is what we know so far:

Houses are destroyed: "The houses are destroyed. ... Completely leveled," a helicopter pilot for CNN affiliate KFOR said. A school was leveled: An elementary school was apparently among the structures leveled by the twister. CNN reports that children were being pulled from the school. Medical Centers have been evacuated: Moore Medical Center in Oklahoma was evacuated. It was damaged by the storm. All patients went to centers elsewhere. At least 2 are dead: Though the number is likely to grow, as of 6 p.m. at least two elderly men are confirmed dead. Residents are being told to go underground: More are expected to come. Downed power lines and gas continue to pose risks: As always with any disaster, the aftermath can also be very dangerous. The extent of the damage is not yet clear, but the scene is likely very unstable, chaotic, and dangerous. Afternoon government sessions were canceled: Oklahoma House of Representatives canceled its afternoon sessions so Capitol employees and state lawmakers could take shelter in the basement. Storm was said to be two miles wide: The storm was likely two miles wide.

The story is developing so much more is likely to come in over night. But one thing we do know is that this is not over and that this is likely to go down in history as one of the worst storms in history. "Our worst fears are becoming realized this afternoon," Bill Bunting, with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration's Storm Prediction Center, told CNN Monday afternoon.

See below:

Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.com

It is not the kind of thing you can get out of your head. This story will continue to develop and we will follow it, but for now, our hearts are with everyone in Oklahoma City and we are praying that most were able to take shelter.

Have you been following this story?

6 Ways to Make Sure Your Baby Is the Gender You Want (PHOTOS)

Mon, 20 May 2013 16:59:00 EDT

Post by Sasha Brown-Worsham

Admitting that you have a gender preference when you are going for a baby is one of those crazy taboos that few people are willing to cop to. After all, some people say you ought to be grateful just to have ANY healthy baby. Of course we will, but some of us can't help but have SOME preference. Perhaps we already have two of one and are going for the third to get that other sex. Or maybe we want our kid to have a same (or opposite) sex sibling.

Whatever the reason, we have every right to wish and hope, and there is science that backs up the idea that we can actually have our way. Here are 6 different methods of choosing which sex you get during conception. Let us know if they work for you! See below:

Image via simplyla/Flickr

Why Keeping Kids From Funerals Is a Bad Idea

Mon, 20 May 2013 15:59:00 EDT

Post by Sasha Brown-Worsham

Last week, my mother-in-law died suddenly of a heart attack in her sleep on Mother's Day. There are no words for the grief and shock and pain this sent through our family as we rushed to pack all of our things and start the 10-hour drive back to my husband's hometown to be with his family and friends.

As we loaded our 6-year-old daughter and nearly 5-year-old son into the car, we had many questions about what they understood and didn't understand. Our daughter immediately cried and seemed to understand while our son reacted with more shock and some silly behavior. He didn't seem to get it.

When we arrived late the first night, the children were asleep, and as the family gathered to quietly talk, cry, and pray, we left them out of it.

Our collective sorrow was so strong and the emotions so raw I was afraid we might scare the children. When they did see it the next day, they seemed confused: "Why is everyone so sad?" We explained it. Again and again. Multiple times over the course of the week. But they didn't get it. Until they came to the funeral.

At first we assumed that of course our children would come to the funeral, but then we second-guessed it. Were they too young? Would my son make embarrassing, loud remarks while people grieved?

He had been acting out by announcing her death to strangers and saying inappropriate things about death to anyone who would listen. Still, all the research says we needed to include them, that they would regret being left out and perhaps even be angry in later years.

So we allowed them to come to the end of the viewing and see their grandmother one last time before they closed the casket. As we stood over her, I could tell my son was afraid, his eyes were wide and confused, but then he started to cry. He finally understood. Our daughter did the same. We all wept together.

About a half hour later, we had a neighbor bring them back to the house while we stood in the receiving line. The next day, they came along to the funeral where they sat quietly, holding hands with their grandfather and curling into us. They didn't understand the service or the scope of their loss, but they understood that others were sad and that they had, indeed, lost someone who they could never get back.

As I looked at their beautiful faces, dressed in navy and dress clothing, my heart broke a little. My grandmother was one of the closest relationships in my life at their age. Her visits filled me with excitement and her love for me always made me feel so special.

I know what they have lost. It's every bit as enormous as what the rest of us have lost. Nothing can replace a grandmother taken too soon and suddenly. They needed to be there, to honor her with their family and to be part of the service. She loved them deeply.

As they left, they started to get silly and hungry. They started to act like children again. The grief has come and gone in the days that followed, but not for one second have we regretted allowing them to be there. We had a backup plan -- a neighbor would have taken them outside had it come to that -- but we never needed it.

Their presence brought enormous comfort. They are a living, breathing reminder that her life isn't completely over. She lives in them. They are a reminder of the future and the parts of her that will continue to grow and thrive. They belonged there.

It's hard to believe I ever questioned their presence. When people ask if children belong at funerals, it isn't a simple answer. It does depend on their age and level of comprehension, but I have no regrets about bringing them. It was the right thing in every way. It helped them grieve and really say goodbye.

Our hearts are breaking, but they are breaking together.

Do you take kids to funerals?

Farrah Abraham's Strip Club Tour Is Real Bottom of the Barrel Fame

Mon, 20 May 2013 14:15:00 EDT

Post by Sasha Brown-Worsham

Farrah Abraham is not just content to have a sex tape and the drooling mouths of millions of Vivid subscribers. Now, she will also be embarking on a strip club tour of several places over the summer to the tune of $10,000 per visit. Can anyone say fame whore?

To be sure, she is not the first reality "star" to cash in on her fame this way. Heidi Montag did the same thing at Crazy Horse and Adrianne Curry found herself in a few strip clubs over the years. So what gives? Is she really going to find fame this way?

I have $100 that says no way. This is more or less the last ditch efforts of someone on their way out. Sure, she will make money, but she has sunk about as low as she can. Is Montag a celebrity now or is she a joke? I'd say the latter.

Farrah is walking down a path (er, a cat walk) many have tried before and it simply doesn't work. She would have been better off sticking with the restaurant idea.

Hopefully Farrah is going to be saving some of the cash she is making, but I wouldn't put money on that. Farrah has been notoriously irresponsible with the cash she has made thus far, touring $3 million homes and throwing it away on silly trinkets.

She should be cashing in now. But this money train won't be lasting long. She should be saving every penny she makes. The reality is, she has gone straight to the bottom of the barrel with this plan. There is no lower she can sink. Porn is usually the last stop, but with Farrah, it was the first.

Does anyone REALLY believe this was accidentally leaked or that it's ANYTHING but a purposely made porno? I mean, good luck to her, but this seems astoundingly obvious to me.

Farrah can take a million strip club tours and it will be the same result. Hold onto your money Farrah. No one will care in a couple years.

Do you think Farrah's "fame" is here to stay?

Image via Vivid Entertainment

7 Things Married Couples Should Keep Doing Long After the Honeymoon Is Over

Mon, 20 May 2013 12:26:00 EDT

Post by Sasha Brown-Worsham

All marriages inevitably go through some rough patches. It's just impossible to spend more than 50 years (God willing) with a person and never have any difficulties. But one of the most telling signs of rough waters ahead is when you start to give up things you used to love together.

Early on in dating, there is almost non-stop smooching, texting just to see how the other person is, and butterflies in the stomach. I know when my now husband and I started dating, I couldn't think about anything else but him, when I was going to see him again. Things have changed, though, 12 years later. I still adore him, but some things -- kissing, hand-holding, staying up all night talking -- have fallen by the wayside. They shouldn't, though. Here are 7 things married couples need to take from newly dating couples:

1.) Holding hands: Sometimes you should hold hands like you are in middle school. We all know you graduated to sex years ago, but remember a more innocent time when his hand around yours could make you squeal.

2.) Flirting with each other: For some reason, married couples always let this one go and they need to STOP that. Flirting is the way men and women communicate. So bat those eyelashes and brush his knee in a dark theater. Let it send a thrill up your spine.

3.) REALLY listening to his stories: We have heard each other's stories a million times and tend to get bored. Well don't. Really sit and listen to his tales. Hear about his day at work and rediscover the man you married.

4.) Trying new restaurants: The kids shouldn't stop your exploration. Visit news places, eat new foods, and go on adventures. You will be much happier.

5.) Buying little gifts/flowers: When you are dating, these things are part of the package, but they quickly fall away as you get deeper into marriage. Stop that! Make it happen again. Bring home flowers for no reason or small trinkets you saw that he might like.

6.) Dressing up: Change out of those sweatpants once a week and care about what he thinks about you again. I promise it will make many things happen all over again.

7.) Butterflies: Remember how he used to make you feel? Do your best to remember that and get that butterfly feeling again. It's just appreciation, pure and simple. Nothing feels better.

What have you stopped doing that you would like to do again?

College Student Killed in Home Invasion Rescue Attempt While Her Identical Twin Escapes

Mon, 20 May 2013 10:20:00 EDT

Post by Sasha Brown-Worsham

Hofstra University on Long Island is in mourning today after a student living in off-campus housing was killed during a terrifying home invasion. Andrea Rebello, 21, was killed by police fire after ex-con Dalton Smith allegedly used Rebello as a human shield, and screamed, "I'm going to kill her." He had broken into the home Rebello shared with her twin sister earlier Friday morning. He was also killed in the gun fire.

The tragedy is made even more horrific by the fact that Rebello was a twin. Smith allegedly forced his way in after seeing the twins spending money at a local bar and followed them home. Now her sister will forever live with losing someone who was clearly both her sister and her best friend. All for a few bucks.

Two other people were present in the home during the invasion, one of whom was allowed to leave, and it's thought that she called 9-1-1 and alerted the police.

With a situation this sad, there is always the coulda, woulda, shoulda. My heart breaks for Jessica Rebello, though. Having just read Her: A Memoir by Christa Parravani, I know the loss of an identical twin is a unique blow. There is something about that bond, that sisterhood that almost makes it as if you lost yourself.

I don't have a twin, but I can imagine that if you spend your whole life feeling like you are looking into a mirror and having someone by your side, suddenly being alone will be a shock. These two were clearly especially close given they chose to live together even after high school graduation when they clearly had other options.

This is just a horrific story. The cop has taken a sick leave and I am sure is full of guilt. Still, he can't blame himself. When a gun was turned on him, what choice did he have? The perp might have killed her anyway.

This story is one that will sit with me for a long time. So, so sad for this family.

Do you think the cop and girl did the right thing?

Image via Editor B/Flickr

Mother's Day Is the Saddest Day of the Year for Women Who Lost Their Moms

Fri, 10 May 2013 20:00:00 EDT

Post by Sasha Brown-Worsham

When I was in elementary school, there was one little girl whose mother had died when she was four and every year, we would make these little gifts for our moms. Sometimes they were potted plants or painted plates or mobiles we carved from tree branches and painted like rainbows, destined to get big hugs on mother's day and then sit in the back of the closet for decades. This little girl always smiled and did the project. She made her card just like the rest of us, only instead of making it out to her mom, she left it blank.

I don't know if she had a dad. I don't know if she had an aunt or grandmother or step mother. I just know that watching her make that project year after year, I knew she was sad and that her sadness made me uncomfortable.

At 7 we all avoided the topic. After all, we were "normal." We had our moms and we were busy thinking about breakfast in bed and pretty dresses we could wear for brunch on the second Sunday in May. I look back on that and I cringe. If only one of us had told her it was all right or that she could sit this one out or offered her some kind of alternative, then maybe it would bother me less. But no one did. When my own mother died just a few years later, when I was 16, I often thought of that girl.

And now I think of her even more. With just a few days left until Mother's Day, I am always reminded of just how much I hate this "holiday" every year. Nearly 20 years after my mother died, you would think I would have it more together. After all, I have my own two babies who are now four and six and they always make me sweet presents and honor me in ways that make me want to bottle up their beautiful innocence and hold some part of it through the teen years.

But I still hate it.

I hate the flowery cards with sappy messages "for my mom and my best friend rolled into the same person." I hate the messages on television from various greeting card companies that show moms and their children reunited juxtaposed with photos of them growing up. I hate the happy people at brunch with their moms and the flower stores that sell bouquets "just for mom." I hate Facebook and the cheesy quotes most days anyway, but on Mother's Day it is even worse.

Sure, I am used to it by now. It used to send me into hiding from about mid-April until the Monday that followed. Now I can at least venture out and pretend to be happy. I can hang out with my family and be grateful for them.

I also have the adult perspective to know I am not alone now. It is not just people who lost their mothers who hate it. People who have lost children or had miscarriages or been unable to carry babies also find it difficult to get through. People whose mothers were difficult or who had bad relationships also tend to want to hide on the second Sunday in May. In fact, I would say about 25 percent of the people I know have some kind of issue with this holiday.

It's not that we need to stop celebrating. By all means, moms need a day to be honored, both the living and the dead ones. But I do think we ought to be able to have some space for the things this brings up for so many people. For anyone who has lost a maternal connection on any end, this holiday is really like lemon on a cut.

So what do we do? We smile. We pretend. We try not to ruin the day for others.

Well, I propose a new approach. I propose we speak honestly about our losses and what makes this day hard. I propose we stop pretending it is all happy and take some of the bitter with the sweet. Even those of us who have lose mothers or children or have been unable to have children we want deserve to not have to hide.

It's OK to not love Mother's Day. It does not make you a bad person or the ghost of Christmas past or some horrible harbinger of doom. It makes you human.

It's a hard day for a lot of people and for those of you who are suffering, you are not alone. The only thing that has helped me over the years is to try to find my own way of honoring both my mother and myself. When I want to bury my head, I do. When I want to spend it with my kids, I do.

And when I celebrate my father and husband on Father's Day, I try to be a little more sensitive to those who might be suffering on that day, too. It's the one thing loss does that is good. It makes you a more well rounded person and increases empathy. You have to take the good where you can, right?

Do you hate Mother's Day?

8 Ways Having Kids Makes It Harder for You to Make Another Baby (PHOTOS)

Thu, 09 May 2013 15:29:00 EDT

Post by Sasha Brown-Worsham

Baby number one is the easiest one to make (assuming you are healthy and fertile, etc.). It’s just you and your partner and oodles and oodles of time. Have sex in the kitchen, why not? There are no little people there to stop you. Have sex in the morning? Why not? There are no tiny feet at your head and extra people in your bed.

For us, even baby number two was easy enough to make. Our baby was a great sleeper so every weekend we had hours of “nap time” to get horizontal ourselves and then an early bed time that gave us lots of alone moments.

Then those babies grow. They become big kids with schedules of their own and constant noise and demands. They can’t be placed in one area and expected to stay in that area for longer than three minutes, which is why making that third baby is probably the hardest one at all.

The barriers are not hormonal or physical or even the kind made by big pharmaceutical companies. Nope. These barriers have names and big, loud voices and they may never get a sibling because they are the king and queen of the @#$@ block. Literally. See the reasons why making a third baby is the hardest of all below:

Image via jlz/Flickr

Jodi Arias on Suicide Watch After Asking for the Death Penalty (VIDEO)

Thu, 09 May 2013 08:25:00 EDT

Post by Sasha Brown-Worsham

Yesterday, a jury of her peers convicted Jodi Arias of First Degree, premeditated murder after she stabbed her on-again, off-again boyfriend Travis Alexander to death in the shower. The crime was horrific -- she shot him in the head, stabbed him 27 times, and slashed his throat -- and it does possibly mean she could get the death penalty.

If she does, it would be a mistake. Why? Because she wants it.

Soon after her conviction, Arias told Fox 10 that she did not want life in prison and that death would be like freedom. And this is EXACTLY why the death penalty is such a completely ridiculous punishment. For the person who commits the crime, it is freedom. It is a get out of jail free card. In most cases, it is what they prefer. And I don't blame them. I would rather be dead than imprisoned for life as well. This is what Arias said:

The worst outcome for me would be natural life ... Longevity runs in my family, and I don't want to spend the rest of my natural life in one place. I said years ago I'd rather get death than life and that still is true today. I believe death is the ultimate freedom, so I'd rather just have my freedom as soon as I can get it.

See what I mean? She knows death is easier than life confined to one space. Now she is on suicide watch and hell, given how manipulative she is accused of being, it is entirely possible she is saying this just to make them give her the opposite. But I doubt it.

The death penalty IS easier. Sure, some might say it saves the state money since they don't have to house criminals, but actually given the number of appeals necessary for a death penalty case, that is actually just not true.

Even more to the point, unless you believe in an after life, then giving a person death is just ending their days. It ends their suffering. Personally, I would find living decades behind bars far more horrific and painful than a few minutes of agony followed by black stillness.

If Arias is manipulating us, she makes a compelling case. The death penalty is not a good punishment. Once the bad guys are dead, no one is paying for the crime any more. That's not justice. It's retaliation and a poor form of that, to boot.

I say let Arias rot for life knowing what she did. I say let her pay for her crime and think about it for the rest of her (possibly long) life. I say that's a worse punishment than anything that comes in a syringe.

See the verdict below:

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Do you think Arias should get death?

State of the World's Mothers: How Does Your Life Compare?

Wed, 08 May 2013 14:33:00 EDT

Post by Sasha Brown-Worsham

Where do you think the U.S. ranks in terms of maternal and childhood care in the world? If you said number one, you would be wrong. By 30 spots actually. The Save the Children foundation released its 14th annual State of the World's Mothers Report and that global distinction goes to Finland, where mothers have greater overall health, education, and economic and political status.

The report ranks 176 countries in terms of maternal and infant health. This year, the U.S. lost five spots from last year’s 25th-place ranking. Still, we are lucky compared to so many other mothers across the world.

The reality is that, while globally, the number of children dying has declined by more than half, we still have a long, long way to go before newborn infants aren't at risk for dying from preventable illnesses and mothers aren't in danger just because they have given birth. The report highlights so much progress and also so many places we still have to go. See below:

Global Maternal Health by the Numbers:

• 1: The day that is the most dangerous for women and newborns. Children have the greatest risk of dying on the day they are born.

• 7: Number of countries that score in the bottom 10 BOTH in maternal health outcomes and newborn health. These include: Central African Republic, Chad, Cote d’Ivoire, Democratic Republic of the Congo, Mali, Sierra Leone, and Somalia; they score in the bottom 10 on both indices.

• 40: Percent more likely a poor newborn will die than a wealthier one, even in countries that score lower overall.

• 60: The percent of infant deaths that happen in the first six months.

• 75: The percent of newborn deaths that could be prevented with simple, preventative care.

• 98-99: Percent of newborn deaths that occur in developing countries where pregnant women and newborn babies lack access to basic health care services.

• 176: Number of countries indexed by Save the Children in their State of the World Mothers report.

• 800: The number of women who die every day in childbirth worldwide.

• 360,000: Number of newborns in India who would be saved if poorer children experienced the same survival rates as newborns from the richest Indian families.

• 423,000: Number of babies who die in South East Asia every year.

• 3 million: Number of newborn babies who die every year, almost 3/4 of which are from preventable diseases.

• 40 million: The number of women who give birth every year worldwide without the assistance of a trained professional.

As Melinda Gates says in the report:

Any report on the state of the world’s mothers is by definition a report on the state of the world, full stop. Women and girls -- in many roles, including their role as mothers -- drive improvements in the human condition. When we invest in them, we invest in a powerful source of global development.

Mothers matter. We know this. It's very easy to ignore global poverty until it stares you in the face, stark as day. Those of us who take our health for granted and who expect the most from our healthcare system ought to be the most outraged. We have come so very far thanks to organizations like STC, but we still have so much more ground to cover.

Do these numbers surprise you?

Image via Sasha Brown-Worsham

10 Must-Pack Items for Your Romantic Spring Getaway

Wed, 08 May 2013 13:00:00 EDT

Post by Sasha Brown-Worsham

It's spring and romance is in the air (can't you smell it within the pollen?). Every spring my husband and I take our annual anniversary five-day weekend, and every spring, we wish it could be 10 days longer. Honestly, is there anything better than luscious weather and your man by your side? I don't think so.

Personally, I think you need next to nothing (literally) to make it a romantic weekend. The less clothing, the better, naturally, but it's more than that, too. There are so many ways to up the romance factor and make your getaway so special, you will never want to return.

Here are 10 must-pack items for your ultimate romantic spring getaway:

1.) Books: I know it sounds counterintuitive, but waking up with nothing to do and no one to care for and reading together, intertwined, is probably the most romantic feeling in the world. It just doesn't get better than that.

2.) Massage oil: Relax and give each other massages (or, even better, side-by-side couples massages -- yes please!) and take the romance to the next level.

3.) Romance playlist: Bring your wedding songs and other romantic music that can help you set the mood.

4.) Finger foods: If you want to lock yourself in the B&B room all day long, bring sustenance. It will help.

5.) Perfume: Nothing says romance like a lingering scent. Make it subtle for the best effect.

6.) Gifts: Last year my husband surprised me on our anniversary trip with necklaces. I had no idea he planned it and was thrilled with the surprise.

7.) Makeup: Dress up for a change! Make him see you the way he used to. Tease him when you are out for the night.

8.) Candles: Obviously, this is a no brainer.

9.) Camera: This can be used in so many ways, but best of all, you can take photos and remember this trip in the dead of winter and look forward to it again come next spring.

10.) Poetry: I mean, really, why not go all the way? Read to one another? The more romantic, the better. Make it a competition. Sigh. I can't wait!

What do you bring for a romantic weekend?

A Spring Family Hike Can Be Extra Special With These 5 Tricks

Wed, 08 May 2013 10:30:00 EDT

Post by Sasha Brown-Worsham

There are few things more pleasurable than a spring or summer hike with your family. Getting the kids out on the trails and spending quality time together costs nothing and yet can often lead to fantastic conversations you would never have otherwise. It's a big win.

Of course, spring hikes in particular can come with some issues, depending on what part of the country you are hiking in. Last year, my kids and I ended up covered in ticks after a fantastic five-hour hike near our lake house in Maine.

If you are prepared, though, a spring hike is about the most perfect way to spend a day. Here are five tips to make your hike as calm and fun and possible:

Bring food: If you have children, it's vital to bring snacks if you will be out for more than a half hour hike. Overpack and make sure you pack your trash as well (no littering!). Bring healthy things they can eat while walking like granola, raisins, bananas, apples, whole wheat PBJ, and more. Don't forget wipes and hand sanitizer as well! Look out for bugs: Whether this means a clean sweep after you get home of everyone's hair and ears (places ticks like to hide) or tucking your pant legs into your socks and spraying a ton of bug spray, do what it takes to keep your family bite-free. Otherwise your fun day will become a nightmare. Games: Do a round of stories where every family member tells part of it. Or sing songs that you all know and love. Count every step to the next tree and create scavenger hunts for the way back down the mountain. Be creative. You don't always need electronics to have fun. Encourage kids to use their imagination. Backpack for kids: Kids under 4 may not make it all the way up the mountain, so make sure you have a backpack where they can go when they get tired (and plenty of sunscreen, to boot!). Let the little ones rest in there. For older kids, have them carry their own packs. It will help them for when they get bigger and want to plan hikes themselves! Don't bite off more than you can chew: Don't try to climb Kilimanjaro with a 4-year-old. Keep it simple. Most 4- and 5-year-olds can make it 90 minutes, so plan on that for your hike and assume anything over that will include some whining and meltdowns. Older kids, you can probably start to add a half hour or so for every year of age. You know your own kid and his or her limits. Try to respect them. Don't pick an all uphill, rocky climb for a kid who hates major obstacles. Start slow on flat, local trails and work your way up to the big guys.

Keep them well fed and give them plenty of rest and you will be surprised at how well hiking will fit into your regular, happy family life.

What are your hiking tips with little ones?

Cleveland Kidnapping Cases May Not Have Been as Random as They Seemed

Wed, 08 May 2013 08:35:00 EDT

Post by Sasha Brown-Worsham

The Cleveland kidnapping story of Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus, and Michelle Knight couldn't be more tragic and bizarre. Emerging details are still largely rumor, but it sounds like all three women were forced into unthinkably awful positions, even being spotted naked and on all fours by a neighbor at one point. Meanwhile, the alleged kidnappers, Ariel, Pedro, and Onil Castro, all brothers, taunted investigators and reporters with comments.

In fact, the entire Castro family had bizarre connections to the girls. Arlene Castro, daughter of Ariel Castro (the man who owned the home where the girls were found), actually commented on the America's Most Wanted episode about the disappearance of DeJesus and said she was best friends with Gina.

See video below:

It's chilling to think that Castro may have targeted DeJesus because she knew his daughter. But that isn't the only connection. Over the years, the Castro family would intersect with the missing persons case time and again.

Anthony Castro, the son of Ariel Castro, had written about the changes in the neighborhood after Gina disappeared as part of a class assignment at Bowling Green State University. The article said:

Since April 2, 2004, the day 14-year-old Gina DeJesus was last seen on her way home from Wilbur Wright Middle School, neighborhood residents have been taken by an overwhelming need for caution. Parents are more strictly enforcing curfews, encouraging their children to walk in groups, or driving them to and from school when they had previously walked alone.

"You can tell the difference," DeJesus’ mother, Nancy Ruiz said. "People are watching out for each other’s kids. It’s a shame that a tragedy had to happen for me to really know my neighbors. Bless their hearts, they’ve been great."

Of course the great irony here is that even the Castro family themselves missed what was under their nose. Let alone the neighbors who ignored it for years or the cops who ignored leads. It's just unimaginable how many opportunities were lost to rescue these girls from this horrifying captivity.

Perhaps the most shocking of all the connections was the comment from Pedro Castro just last year while crews were searching a local area for Berry's body. "It's a waste of money," Pedro tells the camera. At the time it seemed like a bitter old man ranting and raving, but now it's chilling. See below:

It's amazing that the answer was right there, that members of the very community from which these girls were stolen were also possibly responsible for their captivity.

Perhaps most disturbing, Ariel Castro may have even comforted DeJesus' mother at a vigil and helped hand out fliers, all when he knew where she was. Just beyond sick.

In so many ways, this case makes you wonder if you know your neighbors. Having just moved to a new town, I know there is a great deal I don't know about my neighbors, but even so, I expect them to be decent people. For years, the Castros floated in and out of the spotlight in regards to this case and these men knew what they had done.

It's just chilling.

Do you feel like you know your neighbors?

'DWTS' Results Recap: Kellie Pickler's Jeopardy May Be Thanks to Len

Tue, 07 May 2013 23:00:00 EDT

Post by Sasha Brown-Worsham

Dancing With the Stars always loves to use the results show to completely recap the show we just saw 24 hours ago. It's rarely as entertaining as the Monday night show. And yet tonight gave the show a real run for its money.

Most of it was thanks to Derek Hough's gravity-defying Stars of Dance performance, which took to the ceiling, the walls, and all over the set. It was pretty impressive and unique. In fact, it was one of the better dances I have seen on the show. Emeli Sandé also performed her hit "Next to Me," which was totally fantastic.

Of course, everyone is really tuning in just to see who is going home. This week, in my opinion, it was pretty obvious. Still, the show tried to throw us through some loops. The bottom three were Kellie Pickler, Sean Lowe, and Jacoby Jones. Come on, now?

It's a little known fact that the bottom three don't reflect voting. They only reflect the show's desire to keep up the suspense. Did anyone really think Jacoby or Kellie would go over Sean?

The reality is, Sean is lucky to have made it as far as he did. He never really improved all that much, and now we are down to the really good dancers in the semi-finals, with one really obvious lame duck left to go (sorry Ingo).

So now it's on to the semi-finals. Hard to believe we have come here so quickly.

It's really anyone's guess as to who will win. I could see Aly Raisman coming from behind, but as of now, my money is on Zendaya. She just has that certain thing. Of course, you never REALLY know until the end.

I wasn't sad to see Sean -- "just a guy from Texas" -- giddyup and go tonight. He was way overdue.

Onward!

Were you happy with who went home?

Image via ABC

'Teen Mom' Farrah Abraham's Explicit Tape Crashes the Internet

Tue, 07 May 2013 12:55:00 EDT

Post by Sasha Brown-Worsham

Teen Mom Farrah Abraham may not be a celebrity for any kind of major talent, and last week, some may have argued she wasn't even a "celebrity" at all. After all, a girl who gets famous for having a baby thanks to MTV's reality cameras is not exactly the same as Jennifer Garner. But Vivid Entertainment, the company who bought Abraham's sex tape, said it would do well and people would want to see this "celeb" get down and dirty.

Now, it turns out they were right.

Yesterday, the teen mom's tape release broke Vivid's servers for a full nine minutes. About two million visitors came to download the tape and overwhelmed the servers. Nine minutes may not seem like much, but consider that Kim K and Ray J's tape attracted 600,000 during the same time frame. In other words, people would rather see Backdoor Teen Mom than Kim. Yuck. And congrats.

I feel at once horrified and also happy for Farrah. After all, this is what she wants, right? She wants it to sell well. Will her future include more Teen Mom? Doubtful. But will it have more porn? I guess we will wait and see.

It's kind of sad how quickly she made the jump from potential entrepreneur to porn star. And make no mistake, this is no "sex tape." This is a porno, plain and simple. You don't hire a porn star to be part of your "sex tape." How desperate was she for money?

For one million dollars, maybe she really wanted the money. It does set her up for an awfully long time. Although, after seeing the clips from the video, I am beyond horrified. Clearly this isn't some demure sex tape. This is a full-on porno.

The reality is, if it sells well, she will have more opportunities like this. Is it a mistake? Maybe. But it's also sad.

I have no doubt that in 10 years, no one will know Farrah's name. This is a blip on the life of pop culture, but will change hers forever.

Do you think Farrah wanted this from the beginning?

Photo via FarrahAbrahamOfficial/Instagram

'Girls Gone Wild' Founder Joe Francis Convicted of Terrorizing 3 Women

Tue, 07 May 2013 10:48:00 EDT

Post by Sasha Brown-Worsham

No one would ever mistake the founder of Girls Gone Wild Joe Francis for a feminist. The man made his living exploiting drunk girls and paying them nothing for exposing their body. He has been in trouble in the past, but his latest conviction -- despite all of the other ones -- is perhaps most shocking of all.

The 40-year-old was convicted of terrorizing three women back in 2011 by taking them out of a club, keeping them in his house when they thought they were going home, and then beating one of them. Francis was convicted on five charges total, including assault, three counts of false imprisonment, and one count of dissuading a witness from reporting.

Wow. He is an even bigger jerk than I would have imagined.

Joe Francis has made an empire on taking vulnerable women at ages when they don't know any better and turning them into unwitting porn stars. For a long time it worked. He was rich and he made a lot of money. But the reality is, those girls grow up and then feel disgusting about it. They feel badly about themselves and have nothing to show for it.

Meanwhile, Francis was making a fortune.

Sure, he lost the money and he has been in trouble with the law in the past, but maybe nothing was so blatant and obvious in terms of his complete and utter disregard for the fairer sex than this. This should be a sign that one cannot be both a pornographer and a feminist at the same time.

Maybe that seems obvious to some, but the line gets blurred a lot. Larry Flynt happens to support the right causes and I am sure many pornographers claim to love women and not exploit them. Also, the reality is, most women do choose to be in porn. They aren't coerced or forced (or at least I assume they aren't), but many also end up regretting those choices and often feel as though their naivete was exploited.

Francis faces five years in jail and I, for one, hope he gets every single last year of it. What a complete and total sleaze bag this guy is.

Do you think Francis is a dirt bag?

Image via Girls Gone Wild

Missing Girls Found ALIVE 10 Years After Disappearing Off the Street

Tue, 07 May 2013 07:35:00 EDT

Post by Sasha Brown-Worsham

The stories of almost 17-year-old Amanda Berry, who disappeared one day before her birthday, and 14-year-old Gina DeJesus, who went missing on her way home from school, are the kinds that rarely have happy endings. They both disappeared from Cleveland, Ohio, in 2003 and there was little hope of ever finding them alive. Now, miraculously, the two, along with a third woman, Michelle Knight, who disappeared in 2002 at age 21, have been found alive in the home of a school bus driver named Ariel Castro.

It's just unbelievable. Berry called 911 from the house where she says she was kept captive and possibly tied up for a decade. All the women have been reunited with their families at the hospital, although, sadly, Berry's dedicated mother who searched for her for years died in 2006.

It's hard to even know where to begin. There are so many questions and probably always will be. It brings back all the feelings of when Elizabeth Smart was found alive or even Jaycee Dugard.

It's hard to believe there are people sick enough to take a child from her family, let alone more than one. Usually these stories have such gruesome endings that this seems almost happy. I mean, it's happy in many ways. But it also represents a decade that these girls lost with the parents who loved them. It represents an important time for a girl growing up and that was stolen away from them.

Dugard's memoir A Stolen Life explains it all. She is thrilled to be home with her family, of course, but who wouldn't feel sad about all that time lost? All that childhood missed?

It's also probably extremely painful for the families of missing girls who did NOT have "happy" endings, whose stories ended with bodies found and a life full of pain. Or maybe they have no closure at all, and maybe a story like this gives them hope, but sometimes having hope is worse than having none.

I can't even imagine what these women have been through or what their families have been through. The amount of pain of not knowing, of having to endure "psychics" telling them that their children are dead or all the countless "leads" that went nowhere. That pain doesn't just disappear.

This story is amazing, but if the man who lived in the house IS found guilty and the story is as straightforward as it seems, then it's not exactly "happy," and the men involved should pay every bit as much as a murderer. For the families, the kidnapper did, in fact, steal things that can never be given back. Berry's mother died never knowing her daughter was alive. It's just so sad, it's hard to see this as a "happy" ending.

Still, obviously, the fact that these women are alive is something. They will be able to go on and live full lives now. With a lot of counseling. My heart goes out to these families. They have a long road ahead. But at least they will be on it together now.

Would you call this a happy ending?

Image via FBI

If Marriage Is So 'Hard', You Might Be Doing It Wrong

Wed, 01 May 2013 15:52:00 EDT

Post by Sasha Brown-Worsham

Marriage is so many things at so many different times. It can be hilarious, wild, sexy, frustrating, boring, exciting, and productive and then suddenly turn on its head and be 15 other things all at once. But the one thing almost everyone tells brides-to-be and women in general is that marriage is "hard." I am not sure I would agree, though.

I guess it really depends on your definition of "hard." It can be challenging, but many good things are. Sometimes compromise can be a bummer and you would really rather do your own thing. Sometimes sharing the remote is depressing when you would rather watch your own show, but I would never say that marriage itself is "hard."

My husband and I recently chatted about this and I asked him this same question. Did he think our marriage was hard? His answer: Not really. When two people vow to spend forever together, there are bumps, sure. And some days are harder than others. But overall? Being with my husband is a joy. I wouldn't describe it as "hard."

It always seems like such a negative thing to say. Oh marriage is HARD. Challenging might be a better word. Because running a marathon is challenging, but incredibly worthy. Raising kids is challenging, but the most loving thing you can do. Most of life is challenging, but that's part of what makes it so incredible.

Challenges are part of the joy of life. But when I think of hard, I think of tasks I hate. Writing late at night is hard and I hate it. Dealing with my dog's poop on the floor is "hard" and it makes me insane. Getting up at 5 a.m. is "hard" and no fun.

Saying it's hard somehow implies that it isn't worth it or that there are many parts of it that are bad. I disagree. Why would anyone stay in a marriage that feels like drudgery and makes you unhappy?

So stop saying it's "hard," people. Say it's challenging. Say it's interesting. Say it's rarely boring. Even say it keeps you on your toes. All of those things are so much better and they sound it, too.

Look, you aren't toiling in the fields. You are building a life with a person you love and cherish, whose body you find attractive and whose face you wake up next to every day. You are forging new ground with your BFF and having a slumber party every night. Does that sound "hard" to you?

Would you say marriage is "hard"?

Image via Wagner T. Cassimiro "Aranha"/Flickr

A 10-Year 'Marriage Contract' Could Save Us All From Divorce

Wed, 01 May 2013 15:44:00 EDT

Post by Sasha Brown-Worsham

With a divorce rate hovering around 50 percent, a figure I see very clearly in my personal life, it's easy to see why so many people think the current model of marriage is dead. Clearly, this "'til death do us part" stuff isn't working for a whole lot of people and something has to give. After all, why do so few marriages really make it over the long haul?

Writer Emma Johnson discusses this in her latest blog post on Wealthy Single Mommy. She says marriage is dead and we need a new model. In particular, we need a 10-year contract that we can either renew or discard depending on how the marriage is working.

The truth is, she is right. For some people, the old model IS dead. Actually, not just for some people. It isn't working for about half the population. That's a whole lot of people. If half the population were infected by some kind of disease, we would want to cure it, right? But what could really "cure" marriage? Is the idea of "forever" really just dead in the water?

As someone who really IS honest to God, really happily married after 10 years together, I love that this contract idea honors my commitment as much as it honors someone who is less happy.

I love our relationship and probably would say it's the best thing in my life. The shared intimacy, trust, and love I feel are amazing. That said, I think our secret formula IS what this contract implies. We are always reassessing, communicating, and throwing out what isn't working while building on what is.

Part of it may just be luck. That's what a cousin I know who is happily married once told me. Her secret to their 50-year union was simply this: "Dumb luck." The end. But we also manage it. We talk. We take our relationship seriously as the foundation of our family and we move the pieces around to keep our fit.

The truth is, I do know probably more unhappily married couples than I do happily married ones. It's possible human beings are really not meant to stay together 50 years and be totally faithful and passionate. It's possible we were all sold a bill of lies.

The old model really may be dead.

Of course, the first thing is we define our own marriages. No two marriages should look alike. We don't need a marriage "model" so much as we need to accept that our marriages won't look alike. Even now, there is no "model" I am following. I am still happy and he is still happy, so whatever we are doing, we just keep on doing it.

For other people, long-term marriage is just not the solution. They probably could never find a person they would be happy with for life. Just like some women can curl their tongues and others can't and some women can have vaginal orgasms and others can't.

Johnson's solution is a 10-year marriage contract, and the reality is, it really could save marriage. It honors everyone -- those who plan to stay married forever AND those who want to part ways amicably. Sure, there are flaws -- what happens if there is a disagreement over the resigning? But it's also the clearest idea I have ever seen that addresses the realities of marriage. Forever is not working for a lot of people.

What about you? Would you do a 10-year marriage contract?

Image via rosmary/Flickr

17-Year-Old Girl Goes Out of Her Way to Make Prom Special for Her Date With Autism

Wed, 01 May 2013 12:51:00 EDT

Post by Sasha Brown-Worsham

There is no doubt that teenagers tend to get a bad rap. Between the bullying and the weird YouTube videos and the drug use and the sassiness, most parents of children dread the day our precious babies turn 13. But there are some teens who make us realize things aren't really as bad as they might seem.

Maddie is a senior in high school, and in a story that is floating around Facebook this week, it's revealed that she went to the parents of Jon, a junior, and asked them if she could take their son to prom. She chose this way because Jon is autistic. “He’s a junior,” she explained to Jon's mom. “So it’s his prom too. I just think he should have the chance to go.”

Cue the tears. Apparently the two met through a group that pairs teens with special needs with kids like Maddie and she took a special liking to Jon. What a moving story.

It's not that prom is really such a huge thing. I mean, it is. For many kids, it's the pinnacle of the high school experience. But it's also that a 17-year-old girl spent so much time thinking about a 16-year-old boy who she could have just as easily been mean to or cruel toward.

Apparently she spent a lot of time learning about Jon -- his favorite color so she could get an orange dress; his favorite food so they could go to a restaurant that served it.

They went with a group just like any other couple and they probably had fun just like any other couple.

When I was a teen, there weren't groups like this and special needs students were separate and we rarely saw them. This is what made it feel "other" and different. Today's teens do a lot of stupid things, but this is one thing they are getting right.

Every teen should have the opportunity to enjoy typical teen events like prom or homecoming or a football game or dinner with friends. Maddie recognized this and she looked underneath all the labels and saw the person.

It's a heartwarming story and something I am sure both Maddie and Jon (and surely his parents as well) will remember the rest of their lives.

Happy prom to them all!

Does this story move you as well?

Image via Facebook

Deadly Plane Crash Caught on Film in Shocking Footage That May Put You Off Flying (VIDEO)

Wed, 01 May 2013 08:13:00 EDT

Post by Sasha Brown-Worsham

A cargo plane crash in Afghanistan has claimed the lives of seven Americans and also been caught on dashboard cam in one of the scariest videos I have ever seen in my life. The plane (which looks the size of any commercial jet) first appears to take off normally, then it pitches to the side, spins, and crashes into the ground in a fireball.

The story is made completely tragic by the loss of life. As of yet, no one knows the exact cause of the crash, though shifting cargo in the back is one theory. What is clear is that for many, this video is going to be too disturbing to watch.

Truly, if you have any kind of fear of flying, DO not watch this. See below:

See this video on The Stir by CafeMom.

It's especially harrowing to know that there were people on that flight who lose their lives.

Still, for anyone who has a fear of flying, it's exactly the nightmare in your mind's eye when it comes to flight. Most plane crashes are never seen by witnesses, so this makes it especially frightening.

Or maybe we are all so traumatized by the images of 9/11 that any time we see a plane in the sky, we can imagine the worst. Every time I see a plane and it manages to stay in the air, it seems like a marvel to me.

I know there are physics involved and somehow it works, but it always just seems like a miracle. My heart is so sad for the families who lost someone in this crash. As of now, the National Air Cargo plane wasn't thought to be shot down as military officials say there was no enemy activity. But we will see in the days to come what actually caused the crash.

Whatever it was, I won't forget the images from this video or the families affected by this tragedy.

Are you afraid to fly?

Image via YouTube

'DWTS' Results Recap: Jacoby Jones Should Not Be in Jeopardy

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 23:00:00 EDT

Post by Sasha Brown-Worsham

We are moving along in season 16 of Dancing With the Stars and the bad dancers are being picked off one by one. Though, honestly, after this week, I feel a little guilty calling anyone a "bad" dancer. Andy Dick made it pretty clear on Monday night that he was hurt by all the people calling him a "non-dancer", and after this show, everyone IS a dancer.

Still, someone has to go home. *SPOILERS AHEAD.

Tonight's bottom three actually were a bit of a shock. There is no way that Jacoby Jones should have been in the bottom. Ingo Rademacher was also in the bottom and he is at least a little more likely to have gone home. But Jacoby? Really?

Personally, I think they had to do that just to keep it even and less than obvious about who was going home. Somehow Sean Lowe managed to create a Rumba that kept him safe, but it was really either Lowe or Dick going home tonight.

More From Our Partners: Andy Dick Has a Surprising New Girlfriend

It was genuinely sad to see Andy go. Sometimes it really does feel like the show just purposely finds people who will be "bad" and then leads them like lambs to the slaughter. Of course, Dick, who is much older than, say, Zendaya, is going to look bad compared to her.

Kellie Pickler is young and limber, Aly Raisman is an Olympic gymnast, and Jacoby Jones is a professional athlete. Now, does it seem fair to put Dick up against them?

The show had some really moving portions tonight. The beautiful young dancer from Boston who had her leg blown off in the bomb has vowed to dance again (and on the show, to boot), and she was on the show discussing her recovery.

Maybe that is why I wanted to cry when Dick went home. Or maybe it was because I do think he really wanted it and was trying as hard as he could. That is what the show is all about. It's not about the Zendayas who come in with skills. It's about the people like Dick who come in lacking skills and learn and grow throughout. Good for him for lasting as long as he did. He created an unforgettable season.

Were you sad to see Dick go?

Image via ABC

'Teen Mom' Farrah Abraham Wants Kim Kardashian's Career (and She Just May Get It)

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 15:00:00 EDT

Post by Sasha Brown-Worsham

Teen Mom star Farrah Abraham was so afraid her 15 minutes of fame were almost up that she went and made a porn with adult film superstar James Deen. We all laughed and mocked, but it was Farrah who had the last laugh when her porn sold for the "high six figures" to Vivid Entertainment who compared her to Kim Kardashian.

All in all, I would say that is a pretty apt comparison. She does look an awful lot like Kim. And like Kim, she is using her personal life and a sex tape to further her fame. No one can blame a girl for trying, and you know what? She is succeeding, too. To the tune of nearly one million dollars.

That isn't chump change. We all doubted her ability to sell that high, but obviously there is someone out there who wants to see Farrah have sex on screen. So more power to them, I guess. I mean, right?

Look, Farrah has a dearth of talents. Apparently she can cook, but as far as big money, it seems that is going to be in her looks, and why shouldn't she capitalize now?

Would I do it myself? Hell to the no. But I am not going to judge another person for making money in the best way they can. How else would a 21-year-old girl with no discernible talent all the way from Iowa make that much?

On the other hand, I think MTV should have been paying her more. Personally, I think what she revealed on the show was far more intimate than anything she could reveal in bed. Seeing her cry was more revealing than seeing her have sex for show.

I feel sort of sad for Farrah who is so clearly caught up in this fame game. Between the implants and the other surgeries I suspect she has had, it's obvious this is what she wants. But at what cost? I guess we will see how it all plays out in the end.

For her, money might be worth more than anything else, so good for her for getting it. I just hope she is socking some away for little Sophia. I shudder to think of that poor little girl growing up with a porn star mom. Let's also hope she just wanted one big pay day.

Becoming a full-time porn star isn't a good move for her. She should make like Kim Kardashian and find another way to market herself, stat.

Do you think Farrah is like Kim K?

Photo via farrahabrahamofficial/Instagram

Good Wives Try to Make Other Men Want Them, Says Totally Delusional Writer

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 14:40:00 EDT

Post by Sasha Brown-Worsham

Any wife who says she never tries to look good for her husband is probably lying. The reality is, no matter how long you have been married, you still want your husband to fancy you and find you irresistible. But what about OTHER men finding you hot?

A British writer (in the Daily Mail, of course) says that IS the key to a spicy marriage. In an article titled, "Why It's Every Woman's Job to Make Other Men Fancy Her," writer Angela Epstein explains that it really is a wife's duty to make sure she is pulling attention from other men to bring out her man's "inner neanderthal."

I kind of get what she is trying to say. Kind of. The reality is, the kind of attractive that appeals to women and the kind that appeals to men are often two very different things.

Women might like the clothing another woman is wearing or they might think her hair is a hot style. But men look at other things. Does she look inviting? Does she have clear skin and nice eyes? What is her body like?

They also often like a heavier woman than other women like. I agree that dressing for men should be the plan. But whether or not other men are attracted to me is kind of beside the point. I am only dressing for one man.

Is that sexist? Maybe. But it's also just part of marriage. Just like I expect my husband to at least look somewhat hot, I know he wants me to do the same. He knows I like a scruffy beard and so he keeps one. He knows I like his body and so he keeps it up.

I do the same. But it isn't for other men. Maybe back in my 20s before I had children, I dressed hot and loved male attention, but at 35, that ship has kind of sailed. I would be pretty pathetic if I were hanging out a bar in hot clothing, hoping some man would look my way at this point in my life.

For many men, "sexy" doesn't mean revealing clothing or trying to recapture some youthful thing that no longer suits. It's more a state of mind, something between the two of you. Sure, it makes my husband happy when other men find me attractive, but whether they do or they don't is irrelevant. HE finds me attractive.

I know this because he paws at me all the time. I don't keep up my appearance just for him, either. I do it for myself. It's for us. When I feel hot, I feel more frisky and more apt to believe him when he tells me I am beautiful.

To a man, THAT is irresistible.

Do you dress so other men find you sexy?

Image via Public Domain Photos/Flickr

Bride Saves Wedding Guest's Life by 'Kissing' Him Instead of the Groom

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 08:37:00 EDT

Post by Sasha Brown-Worsham

The 24-year-old bride wore a white dress and was trained as a nurse, the latter of which came in handy last weekend when one of bride Kylie Cox's guests keeled over and nearly died at her wedding. The quick-thinking bride gave him mouth-to-mouth until the paramedics arrived and then spent the rest of the evening in the hospital.

In this case, no one cared that the bride "kissed" another man since it likely saved his life. So much for that hateful "bridezilla" myth, right?

It might seem like this whole event ruined her wedding (the horror!), but given the happy outcome, I would say it actually did the opposite. It probably reminded Cox and her husband of just what they were celebrating. Saving the life of another human being completely unselfishly? Seeing your friend through to the hospital and helping him live through a trauma? Now that's a true merging of souls.

Cox pretty much gives that bridezilla myth the kick it deserves. I have known a lot of brides in my day and very few "bridezillas." The reality is, planning a wedding IS stressful and some women take that stress better than others.

But like any wife knows, the day of the wedding, a million things can go wrong, and most of the time, you won't care. We had nothing like a medical emergency at our wedding (though one guest left in an ambulance thanks to alcohol poisoning), but we did have a bag piper who deafened people, a ceremony with no seats for our guests, a planner who forgot to put the cameras on the table, and a fan so loud, no one could hear our vows.

You know what? It didn't matter. We had friends, family, love, and a big old blast. All that stress? Had been totally pointless. A wedding is just one day. It's just a blip on a lifetime and it isn't nearly as big a deal as people think it is. You know what is a big deal? Friendship. Love. Caring gestures.

This bride did more than marry her groom. She proved herself to be a great person to have around in an emergency as well as a loving and brave human being. She will make a fantastic wife and maybe, someday, a great mother as well.

This isn't a ruined wedding. This is a true inspiration. I am betting on this couple lasting forever and I am so happy their friend is OK.

Do you think weddings are overplayed?

Image via Shelley Panzarella/Flickr