The Stir By CafeMom: Blogger Jacqueline Burt

Taylor Swift's Look-Alike Suffers Broken Jaw for Resembling the Most Irritating Pop Star Ever

Fri, 24 May 2013 13:55:36 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

Oh, Taylor Swift. When will your reign of terror finally come to an end?! For a pop star, the 23-year-old sure does seem to bring a lot of "trouble" into other people's lives. Usually these people are ex-boyfriends, but this time The Curse of Taylor Swift has befallen an 18-year-old girl who doesn't even know Taylor personally! British college student and professional Taylor Swift look-alike Xenna Kristian was just minding her own business when another female student (clearly NOT president of the Taylor Swift fan club) attacked her for no reason (well, no reason except that she looks like Taylor Swift) and gave her a suspected broken jaw.

“Some girls at college had started making nasty comments, but it escalated really quickly," said Kristian. "The girl came up behind me and dragged me off my chair by my pony tail, then started kicking me in the face.”

Yikes!

Kristian reportedly sustained bruising in addition to the suspected broken jaw, which seems a rather unfair price to pay for resembling Taylor Swift. No matter how annoying Taylor Swift may be. I mean, how annoying she most definitely IS. And that must be the reason why Kristian got jumped, because, according to her mom, “Xenna has never got into a fight or even a scrape before, but she’s been getting some remarks since she started the Taylor Swift look-alike thing.”

That's just not fair, people. Look, I know sometimes you can't help but fantasize about dragging Taylor Swift off a chair by her ponytail, but once you start having daydreams about kicking the girl in the face, it's time to take a good, honest look at yourself and figure out WHY you're obviously a violent criminal in the making. (Seriously, that's messed up. You should talk to somebody about that sh*t.)

Are you surprised to hear that being a Taylor Swift look-alike is such a dangerous job?

Image via avrilllllla/Flickr

Amanda Bynes Kicked Off Flight for Telling Pilot to 'Look Her Up on Google'

Thu, 23 May 2013 19:05:59 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

Amanda Bynes is so crazy. How crazy is she? Amanda Bynes is so crazy, she reportedly ordered a pilot to "look her up on Google" when he refused to let her fly because she didn't have an official form of identification. AHAHAHAHA! Oh, snap!

I know, I know, the slow rapid decline of a former child star's sanity is nothing to joke about. Except here's the thing: Most of the stunts she's pulled so far, from the topless Twitter photo to the crazy creepy dancing video to the head-shaving to the cheek-piercing, have been truly worrisome. But telling a pilot to Google her because she doesn't have any ID (because her license was suspended because multiple car crashes)? I'm sorry, that sh*t is funny.

This beats Reese Witherspoon's "Do you know who I am?" by a mile. And, not for nothing -- I get that Googling someone to prove their identity is against the rules, but aren't millions of online pics more telling than one blurry little driver's license photo? Jussayin.'

Consider, too, the different modes of transportation available to Bynes. Which poses the greatest risk to the population at large? I'd rather have that girl on a plane than behind the wheel of a car, wouldn't you?! If flying the friendly skies means Bynes will stay off the road, let her on the freaking plane!!!

Apparently the pilot had a similar epiphany, because he did in fact call the jet company to see if an exception could be made for Bynes. (They didn't go for it.) Oh well, points for trying.

Do you think the pilot should have let Amanda Bynes on the plane?

Image via condoungtula/Flickr

Police Accuse Dad of Kidnapping His Daughters Because They Don't Look Like Him

Thu, 23 May 2013 10:30:00 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

Can you imagine how it would feel to have complete strangers question whether or not your children were, in fact, your children? I can. In fact, I don't have to imagine what it would feel like, because as the mother of two biracial children, I know. I know how it feels, for example, to have someone I've never met approach me in a grocery store and say of the daughter I gave birth to weeks before: "She's absolutely adorable! Where did you get her?" (Why, just down the street at the Cute Asian Baby Store, of course! They're even having a sale!)

Thankfully, the experiences I've had along these lines have been more annoying than anything else. Nothing like the terrifying episode Virginia parents Joseph and Keana (last names withheld) recently went through.

Joseph, who is white, and Keana, who is African-American, were out running errands one day with their three young daughters -- just your average family outing. Until they got home, that is, to find a police officer waiting for them.

At first the couple was confused. Then the cop explained why he was there: A security guard at Walmart, where they'd just been shopping, called the police to report a possible kidnapping. "I just need to make sure that the children that you have are your own," said the police officer.

Keana says she was "dumbfounded. I sat there for a minute and I thought, 'Did he just ask us if these were our kids knowing what we went through to have our children?'"

When Keana and Joseph called the Walmart demanding an explanation, they were told that a customer alerted the security guard because he was "alarmed" at the sight of Joseph with his daughters (a 4-year-old and 2-year-old twins). The customer "didn't think that they fit," apparently.

Keana wasn't about to let that one slide: "I said, ‘What do you mean by they don't fit?’ And I was trying to get her [the Walmart employee] to say it. And she says, ‘Well, they just don't match up.’”

This whole thing is beyond outrageous, but what's truly sad is that Joseph and Keana say they're "not surprised," and neither am I. Even in this day and age, narrow-mindedness runs rampant; combine that with our society's tendency to judge and condemn, and you have ... a big mess. It's just a shame that innocent families have to deal with it.

Are you surprised that this dad was accused of kidnapping his biracial daughters?

Image via Vox Efx/Flickr

'True Blood' Season 6 Spoilers: Bad Boy Eric Is Back But Is He Going to Die?

Wed, 22 May 2013 17:41:00 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

You know what's so great about True Blood? Besides Alexander Skarsgard's naked torso? True Blood isn't just entertaining, it's educational. Educational television. And if you don't believe me, just consider the many, many things we've learned from the show: Faeries are like vampire potato chips -- no vamp can eat just one. Witches are the most boring "supe" on the block. Were-panthers are a thing. And now, thanks to a new poster for season 6, we've learned that "No One Lives Forever." (OMG, the Fame theme song was a lie!)

The question, of course, is which character is gonna stop living forever this season?!

Some (twisted, malevolent, and BLIND) people are insisting the blurry vamp in the poster is Alexander Skarsgard. Which simply cannot be the case. I mean, frankly, killing off Eric Northman would quite literally be the worst decision made by any TV show writers in the history of TV show writers. Ever. Got that, True Blood writers? EVER. Ahem. In my personal opinion, the fanger in the poster looks an awful lot like Mr. Bill Compton, who definitely has some bad karma headed his way after the Billith fiasco.

Anyway. According to Alexander Skarsgard, Eric will be getting back to his bad boy roots in season 6. “[Eric's] doing some evil stuff this year, some stuff that’s not so nice,” says Skarsgard. Guess that means we won't be seeing puppy dog-eyed, hoodie-wearing pushover Viking again anytime soon, though Skarsgard says he likes good Eric AND bad Eric:

“I like them both. It’s fun to go back and forth, you get to play around with both sides. It’s always more interesting than one extreme or the other ... when you have both within, and it’s an internal struggle.”

He's sooooooooo deep!!

Where were we? Oh yeah, who's gonna die?? If I had to choose a vamp to vanquish, I think I'd go with Steve Newlin (sorry, dude). Now that Russell's gone, he really serves no purpose, does he?

Which vampire do you think is going to die in True Blood season 6?

Image via HBO

Helen Mirren Makes Dying Boy's Wish Come True After Queen of England Turns Him Down

Wed, 22 May 2013 14:16:00 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

The thought of a child being given only weeks to live is absolutely heartbreaking. The thought of that same child being denied his dying wish is heartbreaking beyond words. Sadly, that's what nearly happened to 10-year-old Oliver Burton of Leicester, UK. Diagnosed with leukemia at the age of 3, Oliver, who also has Down syndrome, recently had a severe relapse -- an untreatable relapse, according to his doctors. Devastated but determined to make their son's final days the best of his short life, Oliver's parents vowed to spend the rest of his time checking off items on his "wish list."

What Oliver wanted more than anything was to visit the Queen of England at Buckingham Palace. Unfortunately, his family was told this wouldn't be possible.

As for why this wouldn't be possible, no explanation has been given (although whatever it is, I doubt it's a good enough reason for saying "no" to a dying 10-year-old). But thanks to the National Children’s Tumor Leukemia Cancer Trust and actress/amazing human being Helen Mirren, it doesn't matter.

See, Mirren happens to be playing the Queen right now in her West End play, The Audience. So she graciously agreed to play the Queen for Oliver, too.

First, Oliver got to ride in a stretch limo from his home to London to see Mirren's play, then he and his parents were invited backstage for tea and biscuits with Mirren (still in full costume and makeup) and the corgis from the show!

"She stayed in character for the whole thing," said Oliver's dad, James Browne, of Mirren. "Oliver thought she was the real Queen, and well, that's good enough for us."

Mirren even knighted Oliver "Sir Oliver"!

I absolutely adore Helen Mirren and the National Children's Tumor Leukemia Cancer Trust. Not because they made a dying boy's dream come true, but because the reality they gave Oliver was even better than his wildest dreams: I'm sure that the love, attention, and warmth Oliver experienced meeting the "Queen" was a million times more than what he would have experienced meeting the Queen.

Do you think Helen Mirren made Oliver's dying wish come true?

Image via Facebook

5 Reasons Why Being Lindsay Lohan's Assistant Is the Worst Job Ever

Wed, 22 May 2013 00:36:00 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

Having a bad week at work? Having a bad month at work? Is your favorite song "Take This Job and Shove It"? Just remember, it could always be worse: You could be Lindsay Lohan's personal assistant. (As in, Lindsay Lohan could be your boss.) Just ask Gavin Doyle, who had the questionable fortune of being LiLo's right-hand man during the lowest phases of her protracted downward spiral. Somehow the dude escaped with his sanity and is now writing a tell-all book about his experience (come on, wouldn't you?!), and WHOA, get ready to appreciate whatever it is you do for a living.

Need the dirty details? Here are 5 reasons why working for Lindsay Lohan is a nightmare:

Dragging her out of bed in the morning is YOUR responsibility.

How exactly does one wake up the girl who used "exhaustion" as an excuse for getting out of everything from work to court? Apparently with eggs, bagels, loud music, and bright lights at the crack of dawn. Am I still at the club? Who brought breakfast? I need more Ambien!

You have to go places with her IN A CAR.

And if she crashes it and you get hurt, she's still gonna say YOU were driving.

The paparazzi follow you everywhere even when you're all by your damn self!

The only way to distract them is by yelling, Hey look! Amanda Bynes!

All you ever do is fill goddamn prescriptions.

Will you be able to carry all of these out to the car yourself, sir, or will you be needing assistance?

You have arguments with porn stars.

Particularly the ones co-starring with LiLo in The Canyons who want to shoot the foursome scene early in the day. (Lindsay just isn't comfortable shooting foursome scenes until late afternoon.)

What do you think the worst thing about being Lindsay Lohan's assistant would be?

Image via Splash

Pathetic Excuse for a Human Being Calls Baby 'Ugly' on National TV (VIDEO)

Mon, 20 May 2013 19:43:45 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

My great-grandmother used to have a saying: "Every baby is beautiful, so where do all the ugly people come from?" Okay, she was a bit senile, but she had a point. Which is: All babies are beautiful. So for a grown man to call an 18-month-old baby girl "ugly" is both insensitive AND inaccurate. But that's exactly what a panelist on Australian rugby sportscast The Footy Show did -- and what's worse, he didn't even have permission to use the baby's photo on TV!

Apparently The Footy Show has a "Look-a-Likes" segment which compares viewer photos to pics of famous rugby players, and poor little Bella Richmond was mocked for her supposed resemblance to "league great and Channel 9 commentator Peter Sterling." After the panelist called her "ugly," of course. If you're wondering what sort of parents would send in a photo of their baby to be insulted on air, it turns out Bella's mom and dad, Melanie and Michael Richmond, didn't send it in at all! The Footy Show claims the pic was sent in by a "family friend" of the Richmond's who lifted the pic from Melanie's Facebook page.

"We are going to seek legal advice because they (Channel 9) still haven't gotten back to us. We were going to let it go but we can't. Someone has put our baby on TV. We want to get some feedback on what our legal options are now," said Michael.

I don't blame Bella's parents for wanting to throw the book at these buffoons (though I doubt they'll get any sort of settlement, unfortunately). As a mom, I would be furious if someone did this to one of my kids. Furious and disgusted and hurt. I'm disgusted that this happened to little Bella, and she's not even my daughter! Making fun of a defenseless, innocent baby? How mean can you get?!

Maybe next time the panelist from The Footy Show will stick to picking on somebody his own size.

What would you do if someone called your baby "ugly" on national TV?

Image via Channel Nine

VIDEO: Footy Show baby uproar

'Brady Bunch' Kings Island Reunion May Be the Most Humiliating Child Star Comeback Ever (VIDEO)

Mon, 20 May 2013 13:15:00 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

Get ready to kiss your fond memories of Johnny Bravo goodbye: Three original cast members of The Brady Bunch -- Barry Williams (Greg), Christopher Knight (Peter), and Susan Olsen (Cindy) -- reunited at Kings Island amusement park in Ohio to commemorate a Brady Bunch episode filmed there 40 years ago, "The Cincinnati Kids." You remember, the one where Mike has to present his blueprints to the directors of the amusement park so the whole family goes and then hijinks ensue involving Greg going after some groovy chic and Bobby and Cindy going on a junk food binge and Jan nearly ruining everybody's lives? (Pretty much the plot of every episode, come to think of it.)

Anyway, the aging Brady Bunch-ers went for a ride on the roller coaster and posed for pics with (no joke) hordes of adoring fans and signed books and whatnot, which is sort of depressing to contemplate considering Cindy hasn't had curls (or braids) for almost 50 years now and why do we force grown-up child stars to pimp out their former personas decades later?

But if that was "sort of" depressing, what happened next was ... oh hell, I'm just gonna come right out and tell you: Williams got up on stage and performed a parody of Eminem's "The Real Slim Shady" called "The Real Greg Brady."

Won't the real Greg Brady please sit down?!?!

The man is 58 years old! Like I said, going on a roller coaster and waving at the camera is one thing, but rapping about the curse of Tabu (thanks again, Jan) is no way to look back with dignity.

After all, a wise bunch once sang:

When it's time to change, you've got to rearrange.

Do you think it's humiliating when former child stars make "comebacks" like this one?

Image via USAToday

25 Things That Belong on Any Mom's Spring Travel Packing Checklist

Mon, 20 May 2013 10:45:00 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

Remember traveling before you had kids? Packing was a breeze: A few of your favorite wrinkle-free outfits, makeup/toiletries bag, Advil, iPod, a good book (Kindles weren't invented yet when I was still childless, okay?), maybe a protein bar or two, and you were good to go! Fast-forward to filling a suitcase (or several) with everything your family needs to survive sans the comforts of home: Wait a second, are we going on vacation or are we moving?!

It's true, there's really no such thing as traveling light when kids are involved. But if you plan ahead and keep organized, packing doesn't have to feel like punishment. Here are 25 things every mom should have on her spring travel checklist:

Stuff to keep 'em busy on the road (or plane):

1. Books (either actual books, a Kindle, or audiobooks on iPod -- remember headphones)

2. Travel games (such as magnetic bingo)

3. Coloring books or sketchbooks and colored pencils (won't stain or get all over fingers like markers/washable markers or melt into car seats like crayons)

4. Etch-a-Sketch or Magna Doodle

5. Mad Libs or Question & Answer games like Brain Quest

Stuff to keep 'em safe, comfortable & clean:

6. Baby wipes (no matter how old they are!)

7. Neosporin and Band-Aids

8. Anti-bacterial wipes

9. Sunscreen

10. Aloe

11. Bug spray

12. Anti-itch cream

13. Tylenol/Advil

14. Anti-nausea medicine/pressure point wristbands

15. Changes of clothes in case of accidents/spills

16. Benadryl (Epi-pen if necessary)

17. Thermometer

Stuff to keep disaster from striking:

18. Batteries

19. Chargers for cellphone, camera, laptop, etc.

20. Printouts of reservations, tickets, etc.

Stuff to keep 'em full:

21. Individually packed healthy snacks (crackers, pretzels)

22. Dried fruit/fruit rolls (sturdier than fresh fruit)

23. Bottles of water

24: Granola bars

25: Lollipops (for take-off and landing if flying)

What are your spring travel checklist staples?

Image via Kristen Taylor/Flickr

Krim Family's Pregnancy Announcement Is Sweet News for Their Surviving Daughter

Fri, 17 May 2013 10:50:00 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

A joyful announcement from a couple who has suffered more sorrow than anyone should ever have to experience: Marina and Kevin Krim are expecting a baby this fall. I still can't think about the incomprehensibly tragic murders of 6-year-old Lucia Krim and her 2-year-old brother Leo last year without feeling physically sick, so to even contemplate what these past months have been like for their parents -- well, it's virtually impossible. As a mom, though, I would venture to guess that their surviving daughter, 4-year-old Nessie -- spared from her siblings' horrible fate because she was at a swim class with her mother when nanny Yoselyn Ortega allegedly stabbed the children to death -- is why they've managed to keep getting up in the morning.

In January, Kevin Krim said of Nessie: "Marina and I couldn't be more proud of her -- she is very smart, beautiful, and tough. And she's grown so much over the past two months. She saves us every day."

And perhaps part of the reason the Krims decided to have another child is to save Nessie. She, too, is coping with tremendous loss -- how can a 4-year-old be expected to understand why she'll never see her big sister or little brother again? Her siblings can never be replaced, of course, but her parents are giving her another little brother or sister to cherish and love in Lucia and Leo's absence. They're also saving Nessie from the burden of growing up as the "sole survivor," a title that invariably comes with guilt, isolation, and a sometimes crippling amount of pressure.

On the Lulu & Leo Fund Facebook page, Kevin Krim posted of the pregnancy:

We are very happy to let you know that Marina is expecting a baby in the fall. Nessie can't wait to welcome her new baby brother. We are filled with many emotions as we look to the future, but the most important one is hope.

We are very grateful to you all for your amazing support.

The most important one is hope, indeed. And isn't that what a new baby is all about?

Are you happy to hear about the Krim family's new baby?

Image via Facebook

Brave 5-Year-Old Boy Uses the Alphabet to Save His Dad's Life (VIDEO)

Thu, 16 May 2013 18:57:00 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

It's tough to stay calm in an emergency -- I know more than a few adults who have a hard time keeping a level head when things go haywire. So the way 5-year-old Nathaniel Dancy Jr. responded when his dad got violently ill behind the wheel is nothing short of amazing. Thirty-three-year-old Nathaniel Dancy Sr. was driving his son home from a shopping trip for school shoes when he suffered an aneurysm and stroke. Somehow, miraculously, Nathaniel Sr. managed to pull over -- but he couldn't speak or move. That's when Nathaniel Jr. took over, grabbing his dad's cellphone and calling his grandma, Susan Hardy-Blackman. As soon as Grandma heard that Nathaniel Jr. and his daddy were in trouble, she had one foot out the door (being a grandma and all), but there was one major problem: Nathaniel Jr. had no idea where he and his father were.

Luckily, the little boy had been paying attention in his kindergarten class. When Hardy-Blackman conferenced in his mom, Janel Blackman, and asked him to look around and describe what he saw, Nathaniel Jr. was able to spell out the letters of a nearby sign: F-U-R-N-I-T-U-R-E.

Okay. So now grandma knew there was a furniture store nearby, but that still wasn't enough to go on, which frustrated Nathaniel Jr. to no end. "He said to me, 'Grandma, use your active listening skills!'" said Hardy-Blackman. Then he mentioned that they were close to a tunnel. AHA! Mom and grandma figured out that the car was near a store called Furniture 22 on New Jersey's Route 22, and an ambulance was on the scene in minutes -- most likely saving Nathaniel Sr.'s life. (He's currently in intensive care.)

Nathaniel Jr. doesn't know how sick his dad got in the car or how seriously ill he is now. "He just thought his dad needed help. He’s not aware of the full severity of the situation," said his mom.

But the 5-year-old does know that he was able to help his dad, and that's something he can always be proud of. Also, have I mentioned he has the cutest smile in the entire world? Just watch:

What a sweet kid!

Do you think your kid would know how to describe his surroundings in an emergency?

Image via Huffington Post

Kelly Rowland Admits She's Jealous of Beyoncé But That's Not Her Only Secret

Wed, 15 May 2013 23:54:51 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

So, let's say you (Kelly Rowland) are one-third of a super-successful music group (Destiny's Child). And let's say one of the other thirds (Beyoncé) goes on to get way, way more successful than your group ever was or could be. Would you support her career? Sure you would ... but there's supportive -- and then there's supportive. Like, there's Mrs. Brady Supportive: "Marcia, you made the cheerleading squad! That's wonderful!" And then there's Jan Brady supportive: "Marcia, you made the cheerleading squad. That's wonderful. MARCIA, MARCIA, MARCIA!!"

Well, Rowland has a new album coming out (Talk a Good Game) with a new song ("Dirty Laundry"), and that song is basically Rowland's way of admitting that yes, she is Jan Brady supportive of Beyonce's career. Or to put it more bluntly, yes, Kelly Rowland is jealous of Beyoncé.

Hey, we all suspected as much, but I give Rowland credit for claiming sour grapes. The lyrics are pretty straightforward, too:

"When my sister was on stage killin' it like a (expletive)/ I was enraged, feelin' it like a (expletive)/ Bird in a cage/ You would never know what I was dealin' with/ Went our separate ways but I was happy she was killin' it/ Bittersweet she was up, I was down/ No lie, I feel good for her but what do I do now? ... Post-Survivor, she on fire/ Who wanna hear my (expletive)?"

Indeed, it must suck to be Princess Beyoncé's less-flashy stepsister. But Rowland sings about more than status envy in "Dirty Laundry," and her next secret is of a far more serious nature: Apparently while Beyoncé was skyrocketing to uber-fame, Rowland was stuck in an abusive relationship with a guy who took advantage of her insecurity. Sadly, I can see how something like that could have happened -- as destiny's forgotten child, it was probably all too easy for Rowland to believe her abuser when he said no one loved her except for him.

A sad story, and a familiar one for many women. But it seems Rowland is finally in charge of her own destiny.

Are you surprised to hear about Kelly Rowland's abusive relationship?

Image via Amazon

Mom's Failure to Call 911 When She Finds Her Toddlers Drowning Is Sad and Confusing

Wed, 15 May 2013 18:19:00 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

As a mom, I can't imagine the horror of finding the limp bodies of your two beautiful babies floating in a swimming pool. Panic? Shock? One would think the first priority of any parent would be to call 911 immediately, which is what makes the reaction of Tassie Anne Behrens of La Mesa, California, so difficult to understand. The 26-year-old mom woke up Monday morning at the home of a friend where she'd been staying for several days and walked outside to find her 2-year-old son Jason Bradford and 16-month-old daughter Harley Bradford in the pool. The children were unresponsive when pulled out of the water, so Behrens and a "man who lived at the house" reportedly put the babies in a black truck "with the intention of taking them to the hospital" -- but they didn't take them to the hospital. Instead, they took the kids to La Mesa fire station. WHAT?!

From there, the children were transported by ambulance to the hospital -- but why the hell didn't their mom go straight there?? Or call 911?!

Harley passed away at 10:27 a.m. Monday morning. Jason followed his little sister at 11:25 p.m. Monday night.

Apparently Behrens told investigators that she "drove the children for help" instead of calling 911 because she didn't want a "friend who lives at the house to get in trouble for not having a gate around his pool." And that's more important than saving her children's lives?! According to the authorities, she initially lied about where the kids were found, claiming it was a pool at Lamplighter Mobile Home Park. What gives??

Later that day, 44-year-old Larry Dangelo, a resident of the La Mesa home, was taken into custody by members of the regional Narcotics Task Force and booked on several charges, including possession of marijuana for sale and running a hash oil extraction lab. (Police don't think Dangelo is the same man who helped drive the kids to the fire station.) So clearly the people at that house had something to hide, and it had nothing to do with a gate around the pool. I also have a feeling there was a lot more to hide than some pot and hash oil. But that still doesn't really explain why a mother would be more concerned with getting her friend in trouble than saving her kids. At least not to me.

Why do you think this mom chose not to call 911?

Image via Beatrice Murch/Flickr

Teenagers Interrupt Their Prom Night to Rescue Family From Car Accident

Wed, 15 May 2013 14:01:00 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

It's something of a stereotype, but the average teen tends to be a bit on the self-absorbed side. Even the ones who aren't all that self-absorbed. Adolescence is simply a time when human beings are completely wrapped up in their own personal dramas -- and never so much than at the prom, an entire event devoted completely to angst and formalwear. That's why I'm seriously impressed by what a bunch of Florida teens on their way to the prom did when the van traveling in front of their limo started swerving, hit the guardrail, and flipped over on its side.

When limo driver Danny Izzi pulled over right away and got out to help the passengers trapped inside, the kids didn't stay behind snapping pics with their phones and posting them on Instagram (which wouldn't have surprised me). Instead, they followed him -- gowns and tuxes and all -- and went right to work.

"We kind of reacted to it, ran out of the limo and did what we had to do," said Western High School football player Frank Tucker.

Seven passengers were rescued, including a 9-year-old boy and a 2-year-old girl, all of whom were taken to the hospital in ambulances with minor injuries. And the kids made it to the prom only 15 minutes late, even though some of them, like Krista Pulcini, had blood all over her dress. Still, "it was a good prom," she said.

Wow. Now these are some kids who have their priorities straight. Getting teens to focus on anything other than their own immediate needs and wants can be quite the parenting challenge, but clearly the parents of these prom-goers did something right.

Do you think most teens would stop on their way to prom to rescue people in a car crash?

Image via Tai Gray/Flickr

'Dracula' Mini-Series Trailer: Is the New Vamp on the Block Hot or Not? (VIDEO)

Tue, 14 May 2013 21:23:00 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

If there's one thing we need in this world, it's clearly MORE vampire shows on TV. Seriously! True Blood isn't on all year round, you know. So I was totally rooting for NBC's new mini-series, Dracula -- even if the original Bram Stoker tale seems to be getting just a teensy bit played out at this point. Maybe this shiny new version, starring Jonathan Rhys Meyers of The Tudors, would be innovative and clever and sexy! Optimism, friends!! Did I mention Dracula is from the producers of Downton Abbey?? How bad can this thing be?

Then NBC released the official trailer ... and I watched it.

And, well, it was ... confusing. Like, at first I could swear I was watching a scene from The Phantom of the Opera. Because Dracula's love interest, Mina (Jessica De Gouw) totally looks like she's about to bust out some uber-soprano stylings. But just when I was expecting a big chandelier to fall on everybody, the scene changed ... and I could swear I was watching any/every Jack the Ripper movie. The dark streets of Victorian-era London, carriages drawn by spooked horses and rain and shadows ... and then it shifted to standard Dracula territory, and I was all like Where's Keanu Reeves at? As for Jonathan Rhys Meyers, I personally think he makes a better corrupt royal than immortal icon.

More from The Stir: 5 Best Vampire Movies of All Time (PHOTOS)

Eh. In short, I'm not like jumping up and down in gleeful anticipation. But that's just me -- you might jump up and down all night long after watching the trailer:

See this video on The Stir by CafeMom.

Sooooo ... are you jumping? Sitting? Standing on one foot?

What do you think of the new Dracula trailer?

Image via nbc

'True Blood' Season 6 Spoilers: 10 Sizzling Pics That Reveal What’s Next (PHOTOS)

Tue, 14 May 2013 17:50:00 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but these just-released photos from True Blood season 6 are worth so much more ... a thousand drops of blood, perhaps? These super-hot pics pack some serious hints about the perilous plot twists and risky romantic entanglements to come. Like this shot of Tara, Sookie, and Lucy, for example: By looking closely, we can tell that the three vamps are watching something shocking and dangerous go down ... and that Tara has developed a taste for leopard print pants. (That's gotta be Pam's influence!) Anyway. Just wait until you see the rest of 'em!

Images via HBO

Suri Cruise Launches Her Own Fashion Line at Age 7 (Will Be President at 13)

Mon, 13 May 2013 18:51:00 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

Like most 7-year-old girls, Suri Cruise seems to be obsessed with pretty dresses. Particularly pretty pink dresses. And shiny/sparkly shoes, also ideally in pink. Unlike most 7-year-old girls, however, Suri Cruise is turning her love of fashion into a career: The only daughter of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise has reportedly signed a deal to launch her own clothing line for approximately $2.2 million. The line, which will be for young girls and called (appropriately) Suri, is set to debut at an as-yet-undisclosed New York department store this fall with plans to expand across the country (if all goes well).

Okay, so, certainly there are many eyes rolling at this news. And I must admit, if I were, say, a struggling designer, I would pretty much be banging my head against the wall in frustration right about now.

But hey, it's not like Suri's actually going to be cutting fabric and sewing samples (though she will have "creative input"). Nor is her line likely to give somebody like Marc Jacobs a run for his money.

More from The Stir: Suri Cruise's $100,000 Tree House Is Worth Every Penny

Suri had a fun idea and her parents have the money to make it happen. I'm sure, in Katie Holmes' (very expensive) shoes, I would do the same. Anyway, it's an experience sure to make Suri confident in her abilities. Just think: If she's launching her own fashion line at age 7, what's next on the Suri Cruise Timeline of Accomplishments?

Age 8: Branches out into shoes and bags

Age 9: Directs her first film

Age 10: Writes tell-all autobiography

Age 11: Releases solo album produced by Jay-Z

Age 12: Takes over OWN, the Oprah Winfrey Network

Age 13: Elected first female president of the U.S.

After that ... space travel? Becoming pope? Better get on that kid's good side now, if you know what I'm saying.

Do you think Suri Cruise should have her own fashion line?

Image via Splash

'Walking Dead' Season 4 Spoilers: If Rick Dumps Daryl, We'll Never Watch the Show Again

Mon, 13 May 2013 17:16:00 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

Best news of the month so far? Season 4 of the Walking Dead has finally started filming!! Oh, happy day. Granted, we have to wait until October for the season premiere, but at least now we can find some comfort in the promise of spoilers to come -- not to mention pics straight from the set. Case in point: This lovely-to-look at shot of Andrew Lincoln (Rick) back in action. Awww yeah, baby! Except ruh-roh ... turn around, Rick! There's a walker behind you with, um, a very unique style. Seriously, is that a dress over pants (never a good look) with a suit jacket on top? And what's with the hair? Silly walker, Jesus hair is for ... well, not zombies.

Anyway. About those spoilers -- we've got some!!

First up: Were you a fan of the time jump in between seasons 2 and 3? Like how at the end of season 2, Laurie was only mildly preggers, and then suddenly at the beginning of season 3, she had that great big basketball under her shirt and we were like, Aha! Looks like a few months have passed? If you thought that storytelling device was a pretty nifty trick, you'll be happy to hear that a similar "time jump" will occur between seasons 3 and 4. (Without a pregnant character, I can only assume the passage of months will be marked by Carl growing a beard.) If you didn't like the time jump ... yeah, sorry.

I'm cool with the time jump, but the NEXT spoiler is full-on freaking me out. Rumor has it one of the characters is going to "betray" Rick. Someone he trusts. Rumor ALSO has it that Tyreese (Chad L. Coleman) will become "Rick's right-hand man and co-leader of the group." Whoa, whoa, whoa. Does that mean Daryl (Norman Effing Reedus) will be the one to betray Rick?! And if he does, will Rick kick Daryl to the curb?!

Look, Rick (let's just pretend like Rick is a real person and can hear me, okay?), if you even think about messing with Daryl, you're gonna wish those walkers got ahold of you two seasons ago!!

Do you think Daryl will be the one to betray Rick?

Image via AMC

A Mother's Day Manual: Dos and Don'ts for Treating Her Right

Sat, 11 May 2013 14:04:35 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

No pressure, all you non-moms out there, but DON'T SCREW UP Mother's Day. Just saying, moms don't typically ask for much. Seriously. And whatever we do ask for -- someone to clean his or her room, for example, or load the dishwasher, perhaps -- oftentimes we don't get it. No, I'm not nagging! You bought your own ticket for this guilt trip, young man/lady/mister. Ahem. The point is, this is one day out of the year that you really want to try extra hard to make mom happy. Which is pretty simple, really. Here are a few basic tips to keep in mind.

Image via Loozrboy/Flickr

5 Mother's Day Gifts Stressed-Out Moms Will LOVE

Sat, 11 May 2013 12:45:46 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

Are you a stressed-out mom? HA!! As if there were any other kind. Or perhaps you have a stressed-out mom in your life (again, if you have a mom in your life at all, then YES, you have a stressed-out mom in your life). One more question: Are you a last-minute shopper? (I'm just gonna go out on a limb here and guess the answer is "yes" yet again.)

Anyway. Whether you're still on need of the perfect Mother's Day gift for a certain stressed-out someone or you're looking to drop a few hints, we've got a few suggestions guaranteed to save the day. Because you know what they say: If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. NOBODY. You got that?!

Image via Eamon Curry/Flickr

25 Ways You Know You're the Mother of a Teen

Fri, 10 May 2013 21:09:00 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

Congratulations, Mom! You've actually made it all the way to the teen years without (technically) losing your mind. Except there's a good chance you'll lose it in the very near future, because this gig is NOT for the faint of heart. Seriously, did you put your parents through the same torture?? Because if you did, you better buy your mom something better for Mother's Day than that pair of slippers you found on sale. Speaking of which, all you really want this Mother's Day is 24 hours without someone rolling their eyes at you. Am I right? Here are 25 more ways you know you're the mom of a teen.

Image via Jenelle/Flickr

5 Ways Your Teen's Prom Will Be Nothing Like Your Lame One

Thu, 09 May 2013 22:59:00 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

These kids today and their crazy, uh, promposals. Yes, that's a combination of the words "prom" and "proposal," and it's the latest teen trend: Going to extreme and elaborate measures to ask someone to the prom. Like the high school guys in this viral video, who staged a super funny (if mildly disturbing) childbirth skit which ends with the "newborn" dude going straight to the object of affection and "promposing."

It's all very creative and sweet and entertaining, which is to say NOTHING like the typically underwhelming invitations extended in my day: Some guy mumbling "So if you're not going with anybody I guess we might as well go together" while you pull your books out of your locker or that other guy passing you a note in science class reading, simply, "Yo. Prom?"

Sheesh. Proms sure done gone and got fancy since we was young'uns. And I'm not just talking about promposals. Here are 5 more ways your teen's prom will be nothing like your lame one:

You rented a limo with your two best friends (everybody chipped in $50!) and felt all kinds of glamorous.

Your kid rents a blinged-out "party bus" with 20 other people that looks suspiciously like Poison's tour bus from 1986.

You got a key chain printed with that year's theme song ("Heaven" by Bryan Adams) for prom favors.

Your kid gets a swag bag filled with a champagne flute, glittery picture frame, sunglasses, bubbles, a necklace and individually wrapped mints printed with this year's theme song ("Pants on the Ground" by That Guy Who Sings "Pants on the Ground").

You had a strapless prom dress.

Your kid has a middle-less prom dress.

You had the same DJ who played at your Grandma's 80th birthday party as prom entertainment.

Your kid has pole dancers, a 3D laser light show and fog machines.

You went to an after-prom party in some kid's basement whose parents were out of town.

Your kid goes to an after-prom party in a hotel penthouse.

Sigh. Just wait til you get a load of this promposal business:

See this video on The Stir by CafeMom.

Fancy, huh?
What made your prom lame? Image via VPCProduction/YouTube

'Here Comes Honey Boo Boo' Season Premiere Announced and All Is Right With the World

Thu, 09 May 2013 21:03:41 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo ... but when?! For months now, the world has waited and wondered when Alana and Mama June and Sugar Plum Fairy and Chuckles and Ding-Dong and Little Bunny Foo Foo (yes, I know those aren't the actual names of Honey Boo Boo's family members but close enough) would be back on TV where they belong. It's been sheer agony, quite frankly. But chin up ... hmm, what are Honey Boo Boo fans called? We've got TwiHards and Truebies ... Boobies, perhaps? Anyway, chin up, people who like Honey Boo Boo, because we finally know when the Boo Boo Bunch is coming back: July 17th at 9 p.m.! Woo-hoo!

Now, of course we're all desperate to see the big fat camouflage wedding episode, but what else is in store this season? You will totally die when you find out! Like, you will faint dead away. For reals. Boobies, I honestly don't think you ready for this jelly, but here goes: This season of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo will feature "butter-rolling, tap dancing lessons and wrestling." Butter-rolling!! What in the holy heck is butter-rolling, you ask? I don't know, but I know it's gonna be freaking awesome. And what if -- this would be epic! -- what if the wrestling involves sketti?! SKETTI WRESTLING, like on South Park! Omg, I just died.

What are you looking forward to on this season of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo?

Image via Facebook

Dad Complains About Sexist 'Hey Babe' Stickers for Kids and Discovers Most Americans Have No Problem With Street Harassment

Wed, 08 May 2013 23:32:33 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

As a parents, one comes to expect certain standards from the companies which manufacture the toys we waste our children's eventual college funds purchasing: Durability (hopefully); the capacity to entertain our kids for brief intervals ... maybe even teach them stuff! At the very least, we assume the playthings we buy our kids will be appropriate. So you can imagine the shock Massachusetts dad Josh Stearn experienced when he realized the package of LEGO stickers he bought his 4-year-old son included the image of a construction worker waving and shouting “HEY BABE!”

Stearns posted photos of the stickers online, writing: “I was so disappointed to see the brand affiliated with a product that normalized street harassment and cat-calling."

A pretty awesome thing for a dad of two sons to do, if you think about it. Now there's a man who must be raising his boys right! They might actually RESPECT women someday, can you imagine?!

Anyway. Two rather surprising things happened next. First, a representative from LEGO contacted Stearns to apologize for the sexist construction guy cartoon, explaining that the stickers had been licensed by a separate company called Creative Imagination and were discontinued in 2010. Nice! Gigantic corporations don't go out of their way to say "sorry" to individuals on a regular basis.

The second surprising thing was not so nice, unfortunately. See, the public didn't have as positive a reaction to Stearns' complaint as LEGO: Commenters all over the internet slammed the dad for being an "oversensitive" and "silly" jerk with nothing else to do all day but complain about "fluff."

Well, that's disturbing, huh? People actually went out of their way to criticize this concerned dad for being ... concerned about a sticker normalizing sexual harassment?!

I guess that clears up the question of "who buys this crap, anyway?" Lots of people who think cat-calling is perfectly acceptable. Hmm, wonder if their boys will grow up respecting women?

Do you think this dad was right to be concerned about the cat-calling LEGO stickers?

Image via amazon

Kristen Stewart Totally Didn't Deserve to Be Voted 'Least Trusted Movie Star' (Hello, Lindsay Lohan?!)

Tue, 07 May 2013 22:22:00 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

Okay, people: STOP the madness! I thought we were over the whole "burn Kristen Stewart at the stake" thing. Yes, she allegedly cheated on Robert Pattinson (still reeks of conspiracy theory to me), but she doesn't really deserve the dubious distinction of being voted the "Least Trusted Movie Star in America," does she?! Apparently quite a few people think she does, because Reader's Digest just released the results of their nationwide poll "100 Most Trusted People in America," and guess who came in dead last? Not Tom Hanks, who came in first -- of course. Not Sandra Bullock, who came in second -- yawn. Nope. According to the presumably perfect people who participated in this poll, Kristen Stewart is officially the least trustworthy famous person in all the land. Seriously?!

I have just two words for the moral highground dwellers who probably wouldn't leave their goldfish with KStew for the weekend ...

Lindsay Lohan. How is it that people think of Kristen Stewart as less trustworthy than Sticky-Fingered Rehab-Dodging Car-Crashing Gypsy-Punching Lohan?!

Oh, wait -- I have two more words: Amanda Bynes. You're telling me Rehab-Dodging Car-Crashing Twitter-Terrorizing Half-Head Shaving Batsh*t Crazy-ing Bynes is more trustworthy than Kristen Stewart?!

Hell, the list of more deserving celebs goes on and on: Chris Brown. Justin Bieber. That Teen Mom with the sex tape. Scott Disick. Tom Cruise. (Ooops, actually Tom Cruise was voted least trustworthy male celeb. Never mind about him.)

Anyway, you get the point. Them's some effed-up priorities, America. I mean, think about it: Would you leave your goldfish with Lindsay Lohan for the weekend?

Only if you were tired of having a goldfish. Flush.

Do you think Kristen Stewart deserved to be voted Least Trustworthy Movie Star in America?

Image via the_stir/Flickr