The Stir By CafeMom: Teen

Teen Fakes Own Kidnapping to Avoid Telling His Parents About a Bad Grade

Tue, 21 May 2013 16:14:00 EDT

Post by Lindsay Mannering

Some kids would do anything to keep their report cards from their parents, but one 19-year-old college student took it to the extreme. Aftab Aslam, a freshman at Georgia Gwinnett College, was so afraid to tell his parents he was failing English, he faked his own kidnapping. Using a cellphone he'd purchased at Target, Aftab sent an anonymous text to his parents pretending to be his kidnappers. The cops were called, the FBI got involved, and 10 days later, Aftab had more problems than just that F in English.

He told authorities he'd been drugged, but eventually came clean and admitted that he camped out in a tent in a less-developed part of town, and when the weather turned bad, that's when he decided to head home.

And now he's in major trouble. He's turned himself in to the police and faces charges for three felony counts for false statements, tampering with evidence, and terroristic threats.

An F in school seems like child's play compared to that news.

Here's the thing -- while I think Aftab needs to pay for his mistakes (an FBI search doesn't come cheap, guys!), I can't help but feel a little sorry for him. Clearly his parents put an enormous amount of pressure on him to do well in school, and when he failed, he felt like he had to run. That's not good.

As parents, it's our job to encourage our children and push them to reach their potential in school, sports, art, etc., but we have to strike the balance of being ardent about success and approachable about failure. It's not easy to be the bad guy and the good guy all at the same time, but it's necessary.

The last thing we want to do is scare our kids into thinking the only solution is living in a tent for 10 days while the FBI searchers for their kidnappers.

How do you strike the balance?

Photo via Wonderlane/Flickr

Throwing Water Balloons at School Gets Kids Arrested -- Yes, Really!?

Tue, 21 May 2013 12:19:00 EDT

Post by Jeanne Sager

Oh America, are we TRYING to fill up our prisons until there is no room left? Have we actually gotten that far? Because I can't really see another other reason for having a bunch of kids arrested for ... wait for it ... throwing water balloons. In school. As part of a prank.

Y'all have heard of spring fever, right? End of school ants in the pants? Just being kids?

Anyone? McFly?

The water balloon situation at Enloe High School in Raleigh, North Carolina, would be less troublesome if it weren't for the pattern of criminalizing youthful behavior that we've noticed developing in this nation.

Take note:

Last month, Kiera Wilmot, a 16-year-old doing a science experiment at her Florida high school, was arrested when the mixture of chemicals blew up. She was charged with possession/discharge of a weapon on school property and discharging a destructive device. For a SCIENCE EXPERIMENT! The charges were eventually dropped -- due to public outcry.

Back in February, kids at a Georgia high school were arrested for "inciting a riot" ... over a food fight. Again, the charges were dropped.

And now this debacle in North Carolina, where the school admits the balloons in question contained just tap water. The juniors and sophomores -- all were 16, save for one 17-year-old -- could have been hauled into the principal's office for a tap on the wrist. Instead cops were called, and they were served with charges of disorderly conduct after a security officer in the school was hit.

For water balloons.

Unless public outcry once again shows prosecutors the error of their ways (fingers crossed), these kids will have criminal charges haunting them for the rest of their lives over a harmless prank that any one of us would have done as kids.

This is where we've gone, America. Kids aren't getting worse. They're simply facing harsher consequences for the very things we did as kids.

And why?

Somehow we've lost sight of our own teen years and what we were like, what it was like when the temperatures rose and we started the countdown to the end of school, and we were high on life. We did stupid things too. Our kids are bound to do them because they are no better (or worse) than we were.

It's time that we start treating our kids as we would have liked to have been treated when we were their age: like kids.

Do you agree with the arrests for throwing water balloons? Are kids being thrown to the wolves in America?

Image via stevendepolo/Flickr

Teen Behind Goodbye Song 'Clouds' Dies and His Parents Should Be Proud (VIDEOS)

Mon, 20 May 2013 17:09:00 EDT

Post by Emily Abbate

It feels like just yesterday when we were first inspired by Zach Sobiech, an 18-year-old from Minnesota fighting bone cancer. Sobiech, who was diagnosed with osteosarcoma, shared his smile with the world with his viral hit about facing death, "Clouds," last December. This past month, Jason Mraz, Colbie Caillat, and dozens of other celebrities joined together to lip-sync Zach's "Clouds" in a moving tribute to his cancer battle. This morning, Zach Sobiech died.

It's heartbreaking. Sobiech quickly became a role model for so many across the globe so quickly. His message, which was that you shouldn't find out you're dying to start living, is a true testament to his loving spirit and compassion.

And whereas it's never easy to lose a child, I'm sure that Zach's parents are overjoyed knowing the legacy their son had, and that with "Clouds," a piece of him will always live on.

Giving up hope is easy. Zach didn't want to do that. Zach wanted to take his predicament, share it with the world, and empower others to not only seek out a cure for osteosarcoma, but to grab life by the reins and take control.

For Zach's parents, I can only imagine how heartwarming and empowering it was to see their son truly succeed; to see their son in such a weak state, wanting to help others and not just himself. The song is beautiful, the movement he started is fantastic. Through his efforts, a significant amount of money was raised for the Children's Cancer Research Fund, and that is an amazing act he'll always be remembered for.

Watch both Zach's version of "Clouds" and the celebrity lip-sync, here:

See this video on The Stir by CafeMom.

Does Zach's story inspire you?

Image via soulpancake/YouTube

School Officials Refuse to Read Transgendered Boy's Name at High School Graduation (VIDEO)

Mon, 20 May 2013 16:45:00 EDT

Post by Kiri Blakeley

It must be confusing enough to be born the wrong gender. But add to that that your school refuses to call you by your real name (as opposed to your legal name) and now you've got humiliation on top of confusion. That's what's happening to 18-year-old Issak Wolfe, a transgender student in Red Lion, Pennsylvania. Wolfe will be graduating from high school soon -- only he won't be graduating. His legal female name, Sierra Stambaugh, will. That is, if the school gets its way. But Issak is fighting to have his boy name read and had a petition of 2,000 supporters to help him out.

Isaak is in the process of changing his name legally, but since it hasn't been completed yet, the name he was born with, Sierra, has to be printed on his diploma. Issak and his parents are fine with that. But all of them really want his male name, what everyone in school knows him as, read at graduation. But the school is refusing, saying:

The position has always been to read the legal name. We don’t do nicknames or alternate names.

Issak feels he's being belittled and bullied, especially after he was a candidate for prom king, but the school used his legal name, Sierra, and put it on the ballot for prom queen!

C'mon now, school. Don't you know your students? Couldn't you see that this boy is a boy and goes by a boy's name and identifies as male? I find it hard to believe that if a Robert wanted to be listed as Bobby, the school would have such an issue. This is 2013, we all know about transgender kids. Cut them some slack, they are dealing with enough as it is.

I know a lot about how it feels to have name identity issues. Until I was 18, my legal name was my father's last name, and my first name was the name I was born with. However, I didn't go by either.

I went by my nickname, Kiri, and my stepfather's last name, as I didn't live with my father. I can't blame my school for being confused, and my mom should have done more to make my name legal when I was younger, but I hated it when some teachers insisted on calling me by my legal name. Which they couldn't even pronounce. It was like they were talking about someone else, and it was embarrassing in front of my friends. (These days, I don't care what you call me as long as you don't call me late for dinner!)

Issak did win one important battle though -- he's allowed to wear a boy's black graduation gown instead of a girl's yellow one.

Do you think he should have the name read that he wants? Do you have any name issues in your family?

Image via WGAL

School Bans Pregnant Teens' Baby Bumps From Yearbook Pictures

Mon, 20 May 2013 13:55:00 EDT

Post by Jeanne Sager

Usually when school rules make the news, you wonder what administrators were thinking. I'm wondering if the higher-ups at the high school in Michigan that has banned baby bumps from the yearbook were thinking at ALL. The school's pregnant teens were told they needed to have their photos re-shot so they didn't show their tummies because -- according to the superintendent anyway -- a baby bump in the yearbook violates the "state’s abstinence-based approach to sex education."

Huh. So parents look to the yearbook to educate their kid? Since when?

My kid came home with her yearbook the other day and I didn't give it a second thought. It's not a book of math facts we need to go over to make sure she's on the right track. It's a book full of pictures of kids she sees every day. What is she going to see in there that's different?

What is a kid at White Cloud High School going to see if their pregnant classmates' photos aren't cropped at the shoulders? Nothing they don't see every day, that's for sure.

So what, exactly, is the harm of showing pregnant teenagers in the yearbook? It's certainly not "educating" kids that sex without contraception makes babies. That's something they're already getting just by sitting in English class next to the girl with the sleeve of Saltines.

Teen pregnancy is a sad fact of America. We can't just pretend it away. We can't whitewash the girls' photos out of their yearbooks so the school can push a squeaky clean image to the world.

That doesn't change anything for the pregnant girls or their peers.

Heck, let me go out on a limb here ... if you really want to hammer home that knocking boots makes babies, you give them irrefutable evidence. Say, maybe photos of their classmates with bellies out to here that will live on for eternity because they're in the permanent record of their school year ... and 900 kids have a copy?

What do you think? Would you be upset if your kid's yearbook had pregnant girls in it?

Image via Lina/Flickr

Parents Press Charges Against Girl for 'Turning Their Daughter Gay'

Mon, 20 May 2013 13:51:00 EDT

Post by Adriana Velez

When you hear about charges of "lewd and lascivious battery on a child 12 - 16," you usually picture some gross middle-aged adult molesting a young teenager. As far as crimes go, this one is considered among the lowest. But what if those charges are against an 18-year-old girl? Florida teen Kaitlyn Hunt has been charged with two counts of this felony based on a relationship she had with a 15-year-old girl.

Kaitlin and the unnamed teen began their consensual relationship at the beginning of the school year. When the younger girl's parents found out, they went on the offensive, calling the police, pushing to have Kaitlyn expelled from the high school both girls attend, even pressing charges. If you ask Kaitlyn's mother, the charges are motivated by homophobia.

Kelly Hunt Smith says in a Facebook post, "Free Kate":

They were out to destroy my daughter, they feel like my daughter "made" their daughter gay. They are bigoted, religious zeolites [sic] that see being gay as a sin and wrong, and they blame my daughter...

Those parents have forced the State Attorneys office to go thru [sic] with felony charges and are trying to ruin my daughters life. This is insane. This should have never been a legal matter, it is a family matter. They are trying to send an innocent young girl to prison because they are full of hate and bigotry. These girls are teenagers in high school, who had ONE mutual consenting sexual experience. My daughter isn’t a criminal, she isn’t a predator.

Wow, at least Kaitlyn's mom is supportive of her. The state is offering Kaitlyn a plea bargain of two years house arrest plus one year probation. And it's all for fooling around with another girl.

Quick raise of hands, everyone: Did any of you have an slightly older boyfriend when you were in high school? Can you imagine your parents pressing charges against him for some consensual heavy petting in the back seat of his car? Sure, they might be pissed. But pushing for a felony -- against a kid who is still in high school! Kate's mom is right. This is about homophobia.

Right now, all over this country, there are teenagers engaging in same-sex fooling around. Some of these kids are definitely gay, others are wondering if they are, and many are just plain curious. It's kind of how you figure it all out. (Be safe, kids!) I know there are parents who are deeply uncomfortable with this. But it's the reality.

What's not reality is this notion that you can "turn" someone gay. For the five billionth time, gay does not work that way. There's no gay switch. And it doesn't matter how much Kaitlyn is punished, it's not going to change who her friend is inside. There is nothing, NOTHING her parents can do to change her sexual orientation. And it's just fucking sad that her parents are incapable of offering her love and support and can only lash out in fear and hatred. Someone please tell me the next generation of parents is going to get this better.

There is a Change.org petition asking Assistant State Attorney Brian Workman to stop prosecuting Kaitlyn Hunt.

Do you think Kaitlyn should be charged with a felony?

Image via Free Kate/Facebook

'Whip Up' Blogger's Tragic Drowning Leaves 2 Kids Orphaned and Our Hearts Break

Fri, 17 May 2013 09:30:00 EDT

Post by Jeanne Sager

Oh, my heart hurts today. The mom blogging community has lost one of our own: Kathreen Ricketson, better known on Twitter as WhipUp, is gone, as is partner Rob Shugg. And the couple's two children saw it all -- their parents drowning, rescue workers trying desperately to revive their mom, to no avail.

Those poor kids. Can it get much worse than that?

Ricketson was on a cross-country family adventure in her native Australia, an adventure the mother of two and blogger behind sites Action Pack and Whip Up was chronicling for a book. According to news reports, she and Bob went in for a swim, and their 10-year-old son, Orlando, is the one who sounded the alarm that his parents were drowning. He reportedly went into the water to join his parents and saw them face down.

Orlando and his 13-year-old sister, Otilija, then had to stand there and watch it all go down, from their mom being pulled to shore and folks doing CPR to emergency workers searching the water for their dad.

There are some things kids should never see. Their parents' dead bodies top the list. At least not like this, not in the throes of death under tragic circumstances.

But we never really get to choose this, do we? There's more time to plan when a parent is sick, more chance to talk to your kids about what is going to happen and whether you want them to be there in your final hours. Even letting kids in to an open casket funeral allows for planning -- you can sit the kids down and talk to them about what THEY want.

Not everyone wants to remember a loved one that way. And for kids, well ... it's hard enough for a 13-year-old and a 10-year-old to deal with the loss of a parent. These kids lost two, very suddenly, very tragically. And they didn't have a choice about seeing (or not seeing) how it all went down.

Our hearts go out to Ricketson's and Shugg's kids today. I can only hope that they'll be able to look back at their mom's blog and see how much she loved them and loved doing things with them.

Already the blogging community has set up a way to help the kids:

Enquiries can be directed to Julie McMahon via email to procrasticraft {at} gmail {dot} com or mailed to PO Box 370, Dickson ACT 2602 Australia. There are also directions on how to make contributions straight to the bank over at Whip Up.

Were you a Whip Up or Action Pack fan?

Image via KathreenRicketson

Spy on Your Teen While She's Driving Without Leaving Your House

Thu, 16 May 2013 17:09:00 EDT

Post by Lindsay Mannering

Looking for a loophole when it comes to spying on your teen? Here's a great one. Dr. Claire McCarthy of Boston.com explains that she uses her family's cellphone bill to see if her teens are texting while driving. She points out that her bill, if not all cellphone bills, lists the exact date and time in which a text is sent or a call is made. Using this information and the general knowledge about the moments her teens are behind the wheel, she can guesstimate whether or not they're texting while driving.

Genius!

Obviously, this method doesn't have any guarantees, but what I like about it is that it's a conversation starter. If you catch a text sent while your teen is supposedly driving to school, you can confront them with a question that's back up by data. And they might have a very valid excuse -- "I'd stopped for gas and wanted to text a friend," etc. -- but the fact that you called them out on it will let them know that you're keeping an eye out for possibly bad, if not illegal and deadly, behavior.

The more we hammer home the message that texting and driving kills, the better. There are already many eye-opening and attention-getting (and hopefully effective) anti-texting and driving campaigns out there, but Dr. McCarthy's idea adds the personal touch that's been missing; it's a parental monitoring system that makes the teens more accountable.

Even though it's not fool-proof, it can inspire a discussion with your teen that could solve a problem and maybe save a life.

What do you think of this plan?

Photo via Lord Jim/Flickr

'Teen Mom' Farrah Abraham Should Stick to Doing Sex Tapes and Leave Our Daughters Alone

Thu, 16 May 2013 09:49:00 EDT

Post by Jeanne Sager

Ready for more proof that Farrah Abraham is nutters mcgee? The Teen Mom and recent porn star has started a Twitter war with former co-star Catelynn Lowell over -- get this -- who is the better role model.

Ohhhhh, ohhhhh, ohhhhh. I needed that laugh, didn't you? Go on and just let it out!

Let's forget, for just a wee second here, how sad it is that young girls in America have such slim pickings for role models that they'd be turning to reality television. Because, really, that just depresses the ever living hell out of me, and I can't go there right now.

I'm too busy trying to wrap my head around Farrah Abraham the "role model." But that's just what she said she was -- while slamming Catelynn's weight in an interview with US:

I know what jealousy looks like. I am trying to be a role model for the other Teen Moms. I try not to knock them down; I try to better them. Catelynn has a weight issue and I don't say harsh things about her to hurt her self-esteem.

So how has this role modeling worked? Let's just do a quick run down, shall we? Farrah Abraham has:

1. Shot a porn film

2. Gotten a DUI

3. Waxed her 3-year-old's eyebrows

4. (Allegedly) dated a guy for the sole purpose of getting back on reality TV

5. Released a memoir detailing her sexual romps with her boyfriend as a teenager ... in her sister's bed

6. Admitted to serious drug use

7. Gotten thousands of dollars worth of plastic surgery

Am I missing anything? Oh yeah! The fact that she was a pregnant teenager! If that's role model material in America, I'm packing up my daughter and heading out. Now.

Granted, Catelynn was likewise a pregnant teen. But after placing daughter Carly with a family in an open adoption, Catelynn has been a vocal advocate of both birth control and adoption. She's also kept her nose pretty clean.

If it's her or Farrah for my kid, you can guess who I'd pick.

Although, come to think of it ... Farrah's story is useful to parents in America. I would have no problem with sharing that list with my daughter as a "what not to do with your life" warning.

How about you?

Is Farrah a role model for young girls in America?

Image via Farrah Abraham/Twitter

Teenagers Interrupt Their Prom Night to Rescue Family From Car Accident

Wed, 15 May 2013 14:01:00 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

It's something of a stereotype, but the average teen tends to be a bit on the self-absorbed side. Even the ones who aren't all that self-absorbed. Adolescence is simply a time when human beings are completely wrapped up in their own personal dramas -- and never so much than at the prom, an entire event devoted completely to angst and formalwear. That's why I'm seriously impressed by what a bunch of Florida teens on their way to the prom did when the van traveling in front of their limo started swerving, hit the guardrail, and flipped over on its side.

When limo driver Danny Izzi pulled over right away and got out to help the passengers trapped inside, the kids didn't stay behind snapping pics with their phones and posting them on Instagram (which wouldn't have surprised me). Instead, they followed him -- gowns and tuxes and all -- and went right to work.

"We kind of reacted to it, ran out of the limo and did what we had to do," said Western High School football player Frank Tucker.

Seven passengers were rescued, including a 9-year-old boy and a 2-year-old girl, all of whom were taken to the hospital in ambulances with minor injuries. And the kids made it to the prom only 15 minutes late, even though some of them, like Krista Pulcini, had blood all over her dress. Still, "it was a good prom," she said.

Wow. Now these are some kids who have their priorities straight. Getting teens to focus on anything other than their own immediate needs and wants can be quite the parenting challenge, but clearly the parents of these prom-goers did something right.

Do you think most teens would stop on their way to prom to rescue people in a car crash?

Image via Tai Gray/Flickr

Mom Whose Kid Was Described as a 'Freak' in Yearbook Overreacts Big Time (VIDEO)

Wed, 15 May 2013 10:01:00 EDT

Post by Jeanne Sager

It's the question of the decade. How far should schools go to stomp out bullying? Should a school, for example, confiscate 900-some yearbooks, destroy them, and print new books ... all because one student was called a mean name on one page of the book? That's what the mom of a teenager called a "freak" in a caption of his marching band photo wants.

Dylan Worthen's name was adjusted by someone prior to the printing of the South Paulding High School yearbook this year. Every book purchased by students at South Paulding features a photo of the 16-year-old with the addition of "freak" as a second last name.

It's cruel. It's awful. But does that mean the school should shoulder the burden of printing new books?

I don't mean to be insensitive.

If my daughter were labeled a freak in her yearbook, I don't doubt that I'd be right where Dylan Worthen's mom is, shaking my fist and demanding things be put right.

But my daughter wasn't, and I'm not.

And so my view isn't clouded by a personal bias that makes it hard to see the bigger picture.

Her son was bullied, and the kids responsible should be brought to heel for it. They should be punished.

But how far should this school go? What does zero tolerance really mean?

We are finally at a point in society where school bullying has gone mainstream, so to speak, and we're really talking about it. No longer are we telling kids that they need to buck up and deal with it.

As a formerly bullied kid and mom of a kid who started dealing with bullies in pre-school, I'm glad to see schools taking action. But we need to be careful not to swing too far in the other direction.

Common sense must prevail!

What happened to Dylan Worthen was awful. It sucks.

But in the scheme of things, being called a "freak" in your high school yearbook is not the worst thing that could happen. Some kids saw it and probably laughed. Most probably saw it and rolled their eyes.

The real damage is if the kids who did it get away with it and aren't punished. If that happens, then ... well, isn't that enough?

Surely it's not bad enough to require a school district spend thousands of dollars on re-printing a yearbook. Thousands of dollars that could be spent on educating kids?

What do you think the school should do here? Is it enough just to punish the kids?

Image via KSDK

Jada Pinkett Smith's Son Wants to Give His Parents the Heave-Ho -- Like, for Real

Tue, 14 May 2013 16:01:00 EDT

Post by Adriana Velez

Will and Jada Pinkett Smith have gone out of their way to raise two kids who feel confident expressing themselves. But are they prepared to hear everything their kids have to express? Their son just announced what he wants for his 15th birthday: Jaden wants to be emancipated from his parents.

Will Smith describes it as the backlash. "I know if we do this, he can be an emancipated minor, because he really want to have his own place, like ooh," Will told The Sun. He understands how kids want "command" of their lives. But ... at 15? Isn't that so very young for a kid to be living on their own?

Of course you want to raise your kids to be independent young people. And it's to Will and Jada's credit that Jaden feels ready to strike out on his own at such a young age. There's a difference between thinking you're ready to live on your own and actually being ready to live on your own. Most teens are constantly pushing for more and more independence. But when they're not pushing for that, they're actually crying out for more security and guidance in some subtle and not-too-subtle ways.

Will thinks this may be about father-son rivalry. "It's very similar for Jaden and me -- your father's the biggest movie star in the world, and you're struggling for your little piece of dignity in this extreme shadow." But aren't there other ways to support your kids in carving out their own identities besides letting them move out?

Only Will and Jada and Jaden can decide if he's truly ready to strike out on his own. But if I were them, I wouldn't take Jaden's request at face value.

Do you think 15 is too young for any teen to live on their own, or are some kids just more mature?

Image via Pacific Coast News

School Bribes Kids With iPads and Other Prizes to Get Them to Show Up

Tue, 14 May 2013 15:56:00 EDT

Post by Lindsay Mannering

A middle school in New Jersey lost $1.3 million in funding because of the district's high absentee rates, so they decided to take action. Using money and gifts donated by local businesses, the school is using iPads, bikes, and other gifts to incentivize kids to come to class. So far, it's working. The principal reports that attendance is up and that the kids are loving the contest, which ends June 11.

Sure, the incentives may be working, but ultimately, aren't they working against our children?

If we give them prizes for things they should do, and are legally obliged to do, we are failing them. If we can't incent our kids to go to school with the simple fact that it makes them better people, will help them get a job, will make them productive members of society, or at the very least, will enable them to go to college where they can roam free for four years and skip all the classes they want, we're not doing our best.

It's also a failed system in that it sets them up for disappointment. In the workforce, you don't get a prize for showing up. You don't get promoted for showing up. Showing up is a given ... shouldn't kids be taught that they won't be handed presents for doing what they're supposed to?

I mean, I'd love an iPad for filing my taxes on time, or a pizza party in my honor for obeying traffic laws. Unfortunately, that's not the way life works.

Comedian Chris Rock says it best when riffing on dead beat dads.

"I take care of my kids."

You're supposed to, you dumb motherf*cker! What kind of ignorant shit is that?

"I ain't never been to jail!"

What do you want, a cookie?! You're not supposed to go to jail, you low-expectation-having motherf*cker!

When our tweens and teens are taught in school, by school that they'll get a cookie just for showing up, it's not helping them. I understand the quick-fix mentality to try and get more kids in the classroom -- it's kind of like when a seventh-grader runs for student body president and promises candy and soda for lunch -- but it's an unrealistic, if not damaging formula that is possibly detrimental in the long run.

What do you think about incentives aimed at getting kids to go to school?

Photo via davitydave/Flickr

'Teen Mom' Farrah Abraham Wants to Share All the Dirty Details of Her Life With Her Daughter

Tue, 14 May 2013 14:30:00 EDT

Post by Jeanne Sager

Leave it to Farrah Abraham to come up with a parenting method that makes us want to go take a shower. The Teen Mom has been making headlines lately for her new porn star venture, Backdoor Teen Mom. Fortunately daughter Sophia is too young to read any of those headlines.

But she won't be forever ... and Farrah has already come up with the "perfect" way to introduce the little girl to mom's porn career. Have a barf bag handy? You're going to need it.

The Teen Mom did a radio interview recently and revealed she's already saved a copy of the Vivid Entertainment flick for her daughter:

I have, like, a baby box for her ... and basically it has all the DVDs of Teen Mom and it has my book and of course my video ...

And here all I've saved in my daughter's baby box is her first lock of hair and her coming home outfit. Sigh.

As for when Pandora Farrah will open up this box, she had this to say:

When she’s around that 13/14, you know, gets on her period and is all "Ooh, I kinda wanna boyfriend" I think that’s when ... that’s the year to be like, "Look, Soph."

Oh. My. God.

Talking to your kids about sex when they're teens? Yes, absolutely, you must do this. Actually, you need to start even younger. Giving them your sex tape? That's crossing the line just a weeeeeee bit.

Farrah says she's all about being open and honest with Sophia. I respect honest parents. But there's such a thing as too much honesty.

Parents, might I remind you that your kids are your kids, not your friends?

There are some lines that just shouldn't be crossed, for both of your sakes.

I don't want to picture my parents having sex. They don't want to picture me having sex. It's not being prudish; it's just about having boundaries.

You might tell your girlfriends about your sexual exploits, but your kids really don't need all the dirty details. Just a simple admission that you had premarital sex can be enough for an honest discussion about sex and birth control.

Leave the sex tapes out of it.

Do you think Farrah's crossing a line here? Should her daughter be given a copy of mom's sex tape?

Image via Farrah Abraham/Twitter

Car That Prevents Teen Pregnancy Should Have All Parents Rejoicing

Mon, 13 May 2013 20:00:00 EDT

Post by Ericka Sóuter

Buying a used car is always a gamble. You could be driving off with a total lemon. If you are lucky, next time you are in the market for one, you will come across an ad like the one recently spotted on Craigslist. Not only does it detail all the dings and various other crappy parts, but it offers something that all parents of teenagers will appreciate: it guarantees no one will ever have sex with the car's owner!

If you can get past the malfunctioning engine light, this attribute is too good to pass up.

If you're a parent considering buying and fixing up this car for a teenager in your house who imagines they'll use it to go to the local drive-in theater with a cute boy / girl and let their hormones run wild, rest assured, this car is an automotive chastity belt.

Ha! An "automotive chastity belt." Gotta love that. How can a car keep kids from getting it on? Read on, parents, read on.

I mean, look at it. Every part of the car is shaped and styled like the least attractive parts of the human anatomy. The back is too small to lay down in, the rear seats are contoured in such a way as to make love-making impossible, and the center console is loaded with enough protuberances and jagged edges that necking could lead to a visit to the emergency room. This car is the anti-boner, its pastel paint job and fabric interior dousing any hormonal flames. Trust me on this, I drove this car for four years. Your teenager will experience a baffling streak of abstinence when they drive this car, to their frustration, and your relief.

Making it even less romantic, the car smells like blueberries and has "The Godfather" soundtrack stuck in the tape deck. Yes, a tape deck. Some teens won't even know what the heck that is.

You have to admit, this is a brilliant advertising technique. I don't know about you, but the success of Teen Mom has me completely freaked out. It seems to have lifted the fear and stigma surrounding teen pregnancy. Those girls have actually become bona fide celebrities just because they had babies at 16. Of course we should still teach our teens about safe sex (and abstinence, if you think that will get through to the horny iPad generation). But why not throw in a little extra protection -- a car that makes you kid a total turn-off. LOL!

I would get my son this thing in a heartbeat if it meant keeping him from having sex too soon. In fact, I think a lot of parents would buy into this marketing scheme. This plays into our parenting fears perfectly. Why limit it to cars. This could work for loads of things: crappy, second-hand clothes (no one wants a guy who smells like a church basement); cheap shampoo (that doesn’t silken or detangle); deodorant that smells like paint fumes; squeaky shoes that sound like fart every time you take a step; gifting them with Discmans rather than iPods for Christmas. Honestly, the possibilities are endless.

Would you buy your kid a crappy car if it meant keeping them from having sex?

Image via MSVG/Flickr

Dying Teen's Last Wish Made Possible By Thousands of Twitter Users (VIDEO)

Mon, 13 May 2013 14:35:00 EDT

Post by Emily Abbate

Despite being given just days to live, Marie Sowler has a lot to be happy about right now. Diagnosed with stage 4 leukemia, the 19-year-old's father and sister pitched in with a double bone marrow transplant that failed to work. Her last last wish? To meet Kellin Quinn, the lead singer for an indie band by the name of Sleeping With Sirens. Marie made a YouTube video revealing her big wish last Thursday. Thousands of shares, likes, and tweets got her message seen by the singer, who tweeted at her at 7:59 p.m. -- "How can we make this happen?"

And so just like that, the two set up a Skype meeting. Seriously, talk about the power of social media, eh? In a world where technology can often be a parent's biggest nemesis, it's got to be pretty cool for Marie's parents to see something so magical happen for their daughter.

Watch Marie's plea, here:

See this video on The Stir by CafeMom.

Awesome. Just awesome. The fact that a little YouTube video like this can get something so fantastic to happen for a teen during what could be her last few days on this earth -- it's touching.

Like I mentioned, from a parent's perspective the Internet can be a scary place. It's hard to monitor what your teen's doing, who they're talking to, what sites they're checking out, the whole nine yards. For Marie's parents to see the GOOD that the Internet can bring, it's heartwarming and comforting. It's a sign of the changing times and proof that if a cause is really good and worthwhile, people from all walks of life will listen.

Does Marie's story make you smile?

Image via Martino Cartier/YouTube

Soldiers Teach Self-Defense Classes to Tweens -- Hooah! (VIDEO)

Mon, 13 May 2013 11:04:00 EDT

Post by Jeanne Sager

Steubenville. Rehtaeh Parsons. A high school "hotness" tournament. These are the stories that keep parents of little girls up at night. Finding respect for our daughters, finding a safe space for our girls, is like searching for a needle in a haystack. But it's out there.

Take Project Bold. It's run by soldiers in the Indiana National Guard. It's teaching tween girls self-defense. But it's so much more than that.

The program at the U.S. Army's Camp Atterbury was developed because Indiana is ranked as the second most sexually violent state for young girls. Girls as young as 10 are learning from soldiers how to defend themselves in case of an attack.

The girls are learning take-downs and basic combative techniques.

But they're also learning confidence.

They're learning empowerment.

They're learning that they can do what these brave soldiers can do -- stand up for themselves.

They're developing self-esteem.

Because despite the idea that people with self-esteem are successful, it's just the opposite. Studies show that performing well actually builds self-esteem for kids.

Being able to defend yourself is part of performing well in life. You feel more in control over your own body.

I know. I was a shy, awkward teenage girl with an eating disorder who became more boisterous and self-assured through years of karate classes. I learned what I could do with my body, and I became less afraid of being me.

In a world where teenage girls continue to be blamed for their own rapes, where teenage boys can run contests that cut girls down to nothing more than a ranking of their breast size and weight, we need more Project Bolds. We need more girls to be put in positions of power: power over their own bodies and power over the a society that continues to subjugate them.

Because programs like the one the soldiers at Camp Atterbury are running aren't just about readiness should the need to physically defend themselves arise. They're about helping girls develop a confidence that carries over into everything they do.

Check out the awesome that is Project Bold ... and the awesome soldiers who are running it:

Would you sign your daughter up?

Image via Fox 59

25 Ways You Know You're the Mother of a Teen

Fri, 10 May 2013 21:09:00 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

Congratulations, Mom! You've actually made it all the way to the teen years without (technically) losing your mind. Except there's a good chance you'll lose it in the very near future, because this gig is NOT for the faint of heart. Seriously, did you put your parents through the same torture?? Because if you did, you better buy your mom something better for Mother's Day than that pair of slippers you found on sale. Speaking of which, all you really want this Mother's Day is 24 hours without someone rolling their eyes at you. Am I right? Here are 25 more ways you know you're the mom of a teen.

Image via Jenelle/Flickr

5 Ways Your Teen's Prom Will Be Nothing Like Your Lame One

Thu, 09 May 2013 22:59:00 EDT

Post by Jacqueline Burt

These kids today and their crazy, uh, promposals. Yes, that's a combination of the words "prom" and "proposal," and it's the latest teen trend: Going to extreme and elaborate measures to ask someone to the prom. Like the high school guys in this viral video, who staged a super funny (if mildly disturbing) childbirth skit which ends with the "newborn" dude going straight to the object of affection and "promposing."

It's all very creative and sweet and entertaining, which is to say NOTHING like the typically underwhelming invitations extended in my day: Some guy mumbling "So if you're not going with anybody I guess we might as well go together" while you pull your books out of your locker or that other guy passing you a note in science class reading, simply, "Yo. Prom?"

Sheesh. Proms sure done gone and got fancy since we was young'uns. And I'm not just talking about promposals. Here are 5 more ways your teen's prom will be nothing like your lame one:

You rented a limo with your two best friends (everybody chipped in $50!) and felt all kinds of glamorous.

Your kid rents a blinged-out "party bus" with 20 other people that looks suspiciously like Poison's tour bus from 1986.

You got a key chain printed with that year's theme song ("Heaven" by Bryan Adams) for prom favors.

Your kid gets a swag bag filled with a champagne flute, glittery picture frame, sunglasses, bubbles, a necklace and individually wrapped mints printed with this year's theme song ("Pants on the Ground" by That Guy Who Sings "Pants on the Ground").

You had a strapless prom dress.

Your kid has a middle-less prom dress.

You had the same DJ who played at your Grandma's 80th birthday party as prom entertainment.

Your kid has pole dancers, a 3D laser light show and fog machines.

You went to an after-prom party in some kid's basement whose parents were out of town.

Your kid goes to an after-prom party in a hotel penthouse.

Sigh. Just wait til you get a load of this promposal business:

See this video on The Stir by CafeMom.

Fancy, huh?
What made your prom lame? Image via VPCProduction/YouTube

8 Things Teen Boys Need to Know Before Heading Off to College

Thu, 09 May 2013 16:35:48 EDT

Post by Lindsay Mannering

As our sons grow from boys to men, it's important to make sure they have all the tools they need to blossom into those fully functioning adult males we've heard so many wonderful rumors about. That doesn't just mean a fully stocked fridge and gas money, there are some life lessons they should learn along the way that will help them become a solid individual.

We've already covered the girls, now it's the boys turn. Here are 8 things your teenage son needs to know how to do before leaving the nest.

Embrace their inner nerd. Sure, college is filled with parties and girls and freedom, but it's also about, you know, books, and learning, and "finding yourself." There's no shame in turning down a rager to study for a mid-term, even if that mid-term is Biology 101 and no one else is studying because the professor grades on a curve and COME ON, DUDE, ONE BEER WON'T KILL YOU. Make sure your son has a sense of humor about the situation, but knows how to put his foot down. (A reminder about how expensive his school is never hurts.) Use birth control. Is it more awkward asking your son if he knows how to use a condom, or raising your grandchild while he finishes up sophomore year? He should know every last thing about safe sex from pregnancy to STDs to Plan B. If you have to, sit them down for a Teen Mom marathon -- that should make him buckle up below the belt. Venture out of his comfort zone. Trying something new is scary, but pretty much necessary. See to it that he's got enough confidence to try a studio art class, or a speech-writing class, or a Poly Sci class, or whatever diverges from his path. Plus, ladies dig a well-rounded guy. Prioritize. There are only one billion distractions in a college student's daily life, so talk to your son about how to decide what's important, and what's not. Cut you some slack. You've been raising him since he was a baby! Of course you want to hear how things are going. Would a text every now and again kill him? Make sure he knows how important it is to stay in touch, even if talking every week seems sooooooo annoying. See the bigger picture when it comes to fraternities. If he's heading to a school where Greek life is important, make sure he's savvy enough to do his research. One may throw killer parties, brah, but another may have excellent alumni connections. Also worth noting: Frats aren't cheap. Ask a girl on a date. And by "date" you don't mean taking her to the dining hall for breakfast after a night passed out on a pile of books and beer cans. Does he know how to use the talky part of the phone? Make sure he knows how to treat a women right, and most importantly, with respect. Stay healthy. Washing your sheets is not that fun, gotta be honest, but it's necessary. So is wearing clean clothes, exercising, and eating right. You used to be there to see that all that was taken care of, but now that you won't be, take a moment to drive home the importance of taking care of one's self.

What are your tips for boys heading off to college?

Photo via justine reyes/Flickr

Teen's Inspiring Lecture for Lazy Teacher Is a Must Hear (VIDEO)

Thu, 09 May 2013 10:23:00 EDT

Post by Jeanne Sager

Ever heard of Jeff Bliss? Mark his name down, stat! The long-haired teen caught giving a lazy teacher a tongue-lashing in the latest video to go viral could end up changing the world some day. Or at least turning the education system on its ear.

Teachers who are just in it for the paycheck are the lament of parents everywhere. But how often does anyone stand up and do something about them? Jeff Bliss just did. He stood up in his world history class at Duncanville High School in Duncanville, Texas and gave his educator what-for for not engaging her students. Just watch:

See this video on The Stir by CafeMom.

Folks, can we give this kid a medal? Get him a job working with Arne Duncan?

In case you couldn't hear everything he said as the angry teacher rudely tried to push Jeff out of the classroom, this was my favorite part:

I'm telling you what you need to do. You want kids to come into your class, you want them to get excited for this? You gotta come in here, you gotta make them excited. You want a kid to change and start doing better? You gotta touch his frickin' heart. Can't expect a kid to change if all you do is just tell him. You've got to take this job serious. This is the future of this nation. And when you come in here like you did last time and make a statement about, 'Oh this is my paycheck," indeed it is. But this is my country's future, and my education.

He just hit the nail right on the head.

As a mom, I've been lucky to encounter only good teachers so far with my daughter, teachers who know how to touch -- to borrow from Jeff -- my kid's "frickin' heart."

But I remember all too well some of the less engaged educators I encountered as a child, and I dread the day my child ends up in one of those classrooms. Nothing kills a kid's excitement to learn faster than a teacher who can't be bothered to lead her students to drink at the fountain of knowledge.

Teachers have the opportunity to change the world one kid at a time. They actively pursue a profession that gives them that opportunity, and they sure as heck better take advantage of it ... because kids' lives are depending on them.

What do you think of Jeff's lecture? Is he right on?

Image via James Smith/YouTube

High School's 'Hotness Tournament' Is Just as Disgusting as It Sounds

Wed, 08 May 2013 10:30:00 EDT

Post by Jeanne Sager

There may be no harder time to be a girl than during high school. Your body's changing, your hormones are all out of whack, and you're trying to figure out just WHO you are. And for girls at one Washington State high school, all that is being done with the added stress of a high school "hotness tournament."

It's everything the name implies: a tournament that rates teenage girls on their "hotness" factor. And parents in the Issaquah school district should be ashamed of themselves.

Technically, they don't run the tournament site. Neither does the school, which has been trying to shut it down for the past five years but been unsuccessful because it all happens off-campus.

The "hotness tournament," which pits the girls of Issaquah High School against each other each May, is run by teenage boys. Teenage boys who could use some lessons on misogyny and basic respect for humanity.

And for that, I blame the parents.

With a daughter at home, my instinct is to think of the girls' side in all of this. What are they feeling? How are their parents supporting them?

But in a case where the girls are the clear victims, the people we really need to be talking about are the boys responsible for this "hotness rating" project. What are they thinking? Who raised them to think this is acceptable? What are their parents doing to stop it?

I wondered today what I'd be feeling if my son were one of the boys behind the hotness tournament, and my stomach twisted. I'd be angry, but I'd be more embarrassed. I'd feel like a failure as a parent.

These boys are treating the girls in their school not as human beings but as objects to be mocked, to be lined up and judged. Sounds like someone forgot to teach their kids to treat others as they'd like to be treated.

Who do you blame here? Is it the boys? The parents? The school?

Image via rcbodden/Flickr

Girl Stood Up for Prom Is Saved By Boy Every Mom Wishes Were Her Son (VIDEO)

Tue, 07 May 2013 14:32:00 EDT

Post by Lindsay Mannering

It's like something right out of a teen romantic comedy -- all that's missing is a convertible Jeep Wrangler and a Smash Mouth soundtrack. Bryan Hayes, 18, was working the evening shift at Jim's Hamburgers and Hot Dogs in Graham, North Carolina, when a freshman girl walked in -- she was wearing a yellow prom dress and was in tears. A senior had stood her up on prom night, and she was understandably crushed.

Bryan, however, knew just what to do.

A customer put on some music and Bryan asked the heartbroken girl, Kelsey Baker, to dance with him in front of everyone.

The two cut a rug right there in the restaurant, and Kelsey couldn't have been happier.

Solid guy.

I guess what they say is true: teenagers, although fast and dangerous behind the wheel, really do serve a purpose. Bryan's act was thoughtful, totally sweet, and 100 percent selfless.

We all want to raise our sons to be like Bryan and do our best to ensure they don't turn out to be the douchey senior who stands up a girl on prom night.

No word on why Bryan didn't have prom plans himself, but something tells me he won't have a problem finding a date in the future. After he posted the photo of Kelsey and him on Reddit and Imgur, he got over 900 comments and 740,000 views.

Bryan and Kelsy actually danced to "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None the Richer ... which is on the She's All That soundtrack. A rom com night if ever there was one.

Laney Boggs forever.

How great is this prom story?

Photo via imgur

It Takes a Village to Keep 'Teen Mom' Jenelle Evans in Line

Tue, 07 May 2013 13:15:00 EDT

Post by Jeanne Sager

They say it takes a village to raise a child. For Jenelle Evans it might take more than that. Her mom, Barbara Evans, clearly has her hands full -- as we could see on the Teen Mom 2 finale recap with Dr. Drew this week. She's trying to parent a daughter with a drug problem and play mom to her grandson at the same time. Good thing the parents of her Teen Mom 2 co-stars aren't afraid to get their hands dirty to help her out.

Chelsea Houska's dad, Randy Houska, and Leah Calvert's mom, Dawn Spears, laid down some parental guidance this week for Jenelle on Twitter.

Randy waded in first right into a Twitter argument between Jenelle and ex-boyfriend Gary Head during last night's reunion special. Gary couldn't believe he'd been left off, and words got heated between him and the reality star. Considering how heated, Randy was practically risking life and limb to get involved, but he did it anyway:

@PBandJenelley_1 @gary_head Time to block each other and move on kids

Truer words have not been spoken! No wonder Dawn chimed in to back him up.

The two parents got a lot of support on the social media site for wading in. As one user noted:

if they only had parents like you to raise them this never would have happened

They've got a point.

Randy is more or less the darling of the TV show, the menschy dad who is always there to tell Chelsea like it is ... in the nicest way possible. He's that dad we all want; the father who can tell you what you're doing wrong but doesn't bash your head in with criticism. And Dawn isn't too bad herself. She's had to handle a teenage daughter getting pregnant with TWINS, weddings, a divorce, a miscarriage ... and she's always at Leah's side with a gentle word.

They're the kind of parents you can tell their kids' friends gravitate to. Which is why Barbara Evans should be happy to have them.

We as parents are responsible for guiding our own kids, but it doesn't hurt to have a few helping hands out there. The village parenting concept only gets more useful as they get older, when they really start to buck our authority. If they aren't listening to us, we should be so lucky to have some other straight talking adult there to back us up.

Barbara Evans can only do so much to convince Jenelle that she's making bad choices these days; she can't lock her in her room and force her to listen to reason. But the more people who weigh in, the harder it will be for this girl to blame everyone else for her problems.

How do you feel about other parents helping you parent your own kid? Could it work with Jenelle?

Image via MTV

Help This Housebound Autistic Teen Stay Entertained ... It's Easy!

Mon, 06 May 2013 17:10:00 EDT

Post by Emily Abbate

Usually at 16 years old, teenage boys are learning how to drive and spending their weekends roughing around with their friends. For Colorado teen Weslee Lawrence, he's gearing up for two brain surgeries in the coming month. Weslee is autistic, has severe seizures, and has stopped going to high school and leaving the house to run errands. Since January, he's pretty much been cooped up at home, trapped by epilepsy and his condition.

It's heartbreaking, really. Because of this debilitating disease, Weslee doesn't get to enjoy life like the other kids his age. But there's something we can all do to make Weslee's struggle a little easier: put pen to paper.

Yup, Weslee wants letters. Well, his mom Vicki Lawrence Williams thinks he does. Lots of letters. Since he can't leave the house, his mother wants her son to be able to share what he loves with the outside world. And what he loves is movies. The teen watches movies every day and tells the local news outlet that one of his favorites is Bolt.

In the letters, Vicki asks people from far and wide to tell Weslee what their favorite movies are and why. Forget the sympathy cards. Forget donations. Vicki just wants her son to find some more good movies.

Think about it: For each of us, it's just one little thing we can do to bring a smile to the struggling teen's face. For the price of a stamp, you can do something for someone that means the world -- with minimal effort. That in itself is fantastic.

I know I'm gonna write one. Will you?

Weslee Lawrence
44011 Morning Star Ct
Elizabeth, CO 80107

Image via 9News