New Every Morning

I'm so tired!

noreply@blogger.com (Cahleen Hudson) — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 13:55:00 +0000

Babies, heck, kids for that matter, do not know how good they have it. Every time I walk up the four grueling (maybe not that grueling but I'm being dramatic) flights of stairs to our apartment with a gurgling, raspberry blowing Jonathan on my back I think "Enjoy it while you can, kid!"

I'm too tired and lazy to write about everything we did over Chinese New Year, and it really wasn't that interesting anyway. We were blessed with incredibly beautiful weather just for the holiday, and we took advantage of Ian not having to work and went all over the place. Jonathan also enjoyed his first trip to the zoo!

Anyway, here are a few pictures to enjoy instead of me rambling on and on. Hopefully I'll have the energy to write an actual post of substancesometime soon!

Jonathan enjoying his first jiaozi. He's my little Taiwanese baby!

First time in the little kid seat of a cart. This is at Costco. What's next, driving? He's growing up so fast!

Guess which one my son is. This is at the Taipei zoo.

I thought this Orangutan was quite regal looking.

Father/son profile shot.

We ate some food dipped in here on our vacation. What, is that bad?

I think Jonathan had a lot of fun hangin' around us. Ha ha, bad joke!

That is all for now. Now I have to do some chores while the baby sleeps, then crawl into bed only to be woken five minutes later. Good thing the person doing the waking is really cute and cuddly!

Something is wrong with our wall, and a bit of landlord wisdom...

noreply@blogger.com (Cahleen Hudson) — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 13:20:00 +0000

ETA: Apparently I have no idea how Flickr works and photos don't just stay in there forever, so now the photos for this post are unavailable. I wish I was a more photo-y person and properly maintained a functioning Flickr account, but I don't have time to add one more thing to my already too full plate, so this post is now photoless. Sorry!

I know it seems like I've been whining and complaining about various Taiwan-related things lately, so sorry to continue in that rather negative and annoying thread. But once again, I find myself wondering why the apartments are made of pure concrete, essentially making it a concrete block. Actually, I'm not really complaining, because maybe that's just the best way to build something in Taiwan's humid climate. Really, I don't know! Would wood or some other material get moldy? Anyway, not only do the very walls of your home soak up and retain the relentless summer heat, but they also hold on to the winter cold. And now, we're experiencing another problem with these annoying concrete walls - the inaccessibility of damaged pipes!

I'm not sure how it works in American homes because I never really lived life as a "grown-up" in America (Ian and I graduated from college, a month later got married, and a month after that moved to Taipei), so I never paid much attention to home maintenance. But here, the pipes that lead to the kitchen and bathroom(s) are encased in the concrete walls of your apartment. This has never been a problem in our previous residences, but here the pipes make a loud clanking sound when we take a hot shower (making it rather difficult to do when the baby is sleeping, which every mom knows is the only time you actually have to take a shower). Also, the parts of the wall that have a pipe behind it get warm. Is this normal?

In addition, and definitely worst of all, whole patches of the paint on many places of our walls (the problem is currently affecting four walls and part of the ceiling) are bubbling, peeling, and crumbling from moisture. This is what it looks like:

At first I was concerned that there was mold too, but thankfully, that darker color appears to just be a combination of the concrete showing through and something called efflorescence. Still, not only is this unsightly, it can lead to wall deterioration, mold could develop in the future since we obviously have a moisture problem, and I don't want my baby eating flecks of nasty toxic paint. However, getting things fixed in Taiwan is often not simple.

I'm not complaining about my landlord, because she's actually very nice and in fact, I've never had a bad landlord in Taiwan (more on that a bit later). I just get frustrated with the way things are done sometimes! It seems that whenever something needs fixing, it's the norm to call in someone who owes you a favor and have them do a half-ass job as a first resort. For every apartment I've ever lived in, the landlord has had some sort of general handyman that they somehow have a connection with through family or friends, and they'll always call that person in first and only call a real professional when things get really bad. I actually don't really care, who am I to complain as long as the job gets done? But in this situation, it started to get a little ridiculous.

I understand a person's reluctance to tear apart an entire wall (actually, several walls) in order to get to a leaky pipe, but really, you might as well get it over with. It was very obvious to me that this would have to be done, but I think our landlord was in denial at first. So Mr. Handyman comes over with some old lady, they sand the affected areas and repaint them. Done. Of course the problem came right back, so they came back and did the same thing. This cycle repeated itself three times.

Our landlord now realizes that some real professionals need to be called in, and apparently she's coming by with some wall/pipe people sometime next week. I'm not sure what will happen. She will have to put us in a hotel or something, right? I have a baby who takes two naps a day and goes to bed at 7, and two of the walls are in the room he sleeps in! I can't have a bunch of construction and big gaping holes around him. I guess this has had to be fixed before and it's still under warranty, so the same people that didn't really fix it before are coming back. If it's under warranty, why didn't she just have these people come back at the first sign of a problem? I can't really figure that one out.

This is all rather irritating, but it could be a lot worse if I had a horrible landlord who refused to take care of the problem. Yes, this all could have been handled much more efficiently in my opinion, but trust me, it could be worse. I've always had pretty good landlords, and this one is the best of all for many reasons (this one situation isn't really representative of our entire relationship with her). Now here's the part where I impart my landlord wisdom on to you -- make sure you meet all potential landlords in person, and then trust your gut.

When Ian and I went apartment hunting in the past, there were times when an apartment was shown to us by a real estate agent that the owner had hired. We always passed these places up, because meeting the owner is so important. Whenever we met a potential landlord, I could always tell within a few minutes of conversation if they were an all-around good person. Of course it's important to ask them questions about the apartment and the contract, but also just have a good chat with them - about their work, family, life, whatever. Then listen to your gut. It hasn't failed me yet!

Our trip to No. 4 park without Mr. Sun.

noreply@blogger.com (Cahleen Hudson) — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 13:14:00 +0000

Do you see the lady sitting behind Jonathan? She was reading or studying, glancing up from the pages every now and then and relaxed as can be. Her kids were running around the dried up rock/fountain/display thing, keeping each other entertained and just calling out a word or two over their shoulder at their mom once in awhile. I thought to myself, "Wow, so the constant vigilance ends one day?" The constant listeninwatchingworryingdiapercheckingpullingthingsoutofhismouth vigilance will come to an end, and I'll be able to read a book at the park. Will I be able to tear my eyes away, give him the space he needs? Will I miss it?

I'm quite pleased with my hair color in this picture, not that that's what you were looking at.

Not to sound all obsessed with my hair, but please ignore how incredibly short my bangs are right now. It kind of sucks that I can't see what my hair stylist is doing when I take my glasses off.

Enjoying the view from Daddy's shoulders in the lobby of the library at the park. He was babbling quite loudly because the echoing sound of his voice amused him.

It was good to get out, and Jonathan appreciated the change of scenery. We're at a bit of an awkward age for the park because he wants to get out and explore his surroundings, but he can't run and jump on the playground yet. In the summer I'll put a big blanket with some toys on the grass (at least that's what my friend and I did last summer, now he might make a break for it and crawl right off the blanket), but everything is damp and muddy now. Ahhhh, summer can't get here fast enough!

If you listen to me complain about the weather you get to see a cute video of my kid.

noreply@blogger.com (Cahleen Hudson) — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 13:36:00 +0000

First I want to complain about the weather. Geez, it is so cold this year! I don't remember it being nearly this cold last year. It's hard for me to really compare though, because last winter I was pregnant and always hot. I had my own little mini space heater attached to my stomach. If only I had that now! Wait a minute, what am I saying???

A lot of people have been wondering how I can sit over here on my little subtropical/tropical (depending on what part of Taiwan you live in) island and complain about the cold (I'm looking at you, Aunt Colleen!). Well, allow me to explain.

For starters, I just found out that Taipei gets more rain than the Amazon Basin. The freakin' Amazon Basin! It's also extremely humid all year round, so we're dealing with a VERY DAMP cold. Wet cold always feels colder than dry cold.

True that at it's coldest, Taipei may get into the 40s F (8-10 C maybe), but not only is it very damp, THERE IS NO ESCAPING THE COLD! The apartments here are concrete blocks with tile floors and poor insulation. There is no central heat, so you end up wearing a bunch of layers indoors and dragging a piddly little space heater with you from room to room. The space heater only heats up the area a few feet around it, and all in all, it's only a degree or two (celsius) warmer inside. And the sun doesn't come out for weeks and weeks at a time! Nobody listens to me because I'm from Southern California, but even my Canadian friends think it gets really cold here. So there!

So I've been dreaming about summer. Shaved ice, the sound of the cicadas in the trees, icy night market lemonade with cranberries, and all that good stuff. I would try and make the most out of this warm weather and go to a hot spring, but I'm not sure how to make that work with a curious 10-month-old. I don't think it would be quite the relaxing experience it was for us pre-baby! For now, Jonathan and I have been spending a lot of time inside, and it's getting boring for both of us.

Now, as promised, here's a video showing one of Jonathan's really cute new favorite games:

Dihua Street 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Cahleen Hudson) — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 12:14:00 +0000

The theme of this winter seems to be COLD and DREARY! I'm actually quite sick of it and find myself strangely looking forward to the sauna-like environment of summer in Taipei.

These are samosas, except of course not really samosas. They were really tasty in a Chinese food masquerading as Indian food way though!

Aboriginal style BBQ mountain boar. Sometimes you find the odd coarse boar's hair still poking through the layer of fat. This stuff is really good, but the meat is a bit too fatty for my liking. Taiwanese people like a bit of fat on their meat, which really grosses me out. I still like ordering this stuff for the flavor, but I pick all the fat off, which is tedious (and sometimes doesn't leave me with very much meat).

A close-up of the BBQ mountain boar.

Was this guy using Taiwan beer as a spice?

Tasty sweet Taiwanese sausage. Again, I totally like the flavor of these things, but I don't eat sausage in general because the little fat globules in sausage gross me out. Why am I so picky about meat? I'm also the annoying American that only eats the breast of a chicken. Ewwww, dark meat is yucky!

About to go head-on into the crowd. Believe it or not, we actually always go during the least crowded time, which is a weekday morning or afternoon. So this is nothing!

Jonathan actually fell asleep shortly after this picture was taken, in the middle of all the chaos. I truly have a Taiwanese baby!

At the MRT station, ready to go home.

All in all we had a lot of fun, but I always forget how annoying some of the college students working there can be until I'm back the following year and once again hear them showing off in front of each other by yelling English phrases at us and then giggling (not all of them, just some). One guy randomly yelled, "Peace, love!" at us, and then looked quite pleased with himself. Little did he know it totally sounded like he said "piss love," so I guess the joke's on him. Annoying college guy aside, we had a great time!

A Mother's Mourning

noreply@blogger.com (Cahleen Hudson) — Sat, 22 Jan 2011 13:56:00 +0000

Never have I been so achingly aware of the swift passage of time as I have as a mother. Instead of picturing it as sand steadily passing from one wide end of the hourglass to the next, I picture it as sand slipping through my hands, and I can't
stop it no matter how tightly I tense my fingers together.

It just keeps slipping through.

Relentlessly.

Each day my baby is less a baby. Each day more a toddler, and before I know it an actual kid.

Right now, I'm mourning the loss of a gummy smile, one I'll never see again.

Here are the new additions that wreaked havoc on our sleep for a few nights...

He's such a little man now!

Just a Little PSA

noreply@blogger.com (Cahleen Hudson) — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 13:15:00 +0000

I spend a lot of time with this guy. Here we are at a playdate at Y17. That's his girlfriend, Olena, in the background.

To the small number of people who subscribe to this blog via reader or email (Hi Mom!):

Come check out my new look! I used this tutorial to make my own header, and I'm very pleased with the results. Now my blog looks all snazzy and professional (at least to my own admittedly untrained, non-professional eye), and I'm so proud of the fact that I did it myself and didn't spend any money.

Why, oh why, haven't I just given up on blogging already, you ask? I thought about it. I don't have a lot of free time anymore with this wildly demanding 10-month-old underfoot (literally, under my darn feet crawling around everywhere I go). At the end of the day though, I still see value in developing some sort of creative discipline, ad I'd like to be more faithful in carving out some time for it. I also read this super awesome, enlightening book, and it's inspired me to make some changes and let myself off the hook in some areas. Some of the changes that the book has inspired me to make around here are:

1. To clarify my purpose for blogging. I've decided that I only have the time and energy to blog for my own enjoyment and to keep my family and friends in the States updated. So I'm just going to write about whatever I want, mostly just my day to day adventures over here. If other people get something out of it, then great. But I really don't have the time to worry about stats or a following anymore. The pressure is off.

2. I simplified my little space. I got rid of the cluttered sidebar, transferred a lot of stuff onto separate pages (listed at the top), and generally trashed everything that wasn't serving a purpose.

3. I made it clear on my contact page and on my comments disclaimer page (ETA: I actually ended up taking this off because I thought it looked stupid, and it probably wasn't really necessary anyway) that I don't have time to respond to every email and comment anymore. Maybe no one will read it or pay attention to it, but I feel good that it's there. I feel like I now have the freedom to just write what I want without worrying about keeping up with every comment and email that comes my way. I'll still read them, and I'll respond when I can, but I can't really be on the ball with it. Especially with emails. I've gotten quite a few lovely emails from people, but most of them would require me to do some research in order to answer the questions the person has (tip: check out my rather extensive links and resources page). I definitely don't have time for that! If this puts people off from commenting or emailing me, that's okay. While I appreciate feedback (it's nice to know people actually read what you write), I now know that my purpose for blogging is not to see how many subscribers and comments I can get.

Enacting these changes is the only way I can have the freedom to keep writing and still be the kind of mom and wife that I want to be. I have no idea how so many moms with multiple children are able to maintain the awesome blogs that they do. I don't doubt that they're marvelous, engaged mothers. They must have extremely good time management skills. I'm a stay-at-home mom with a housekeeper (we're not rich, it's just more affordable in Asia) with ONE baby and I have no freaking time! I'm sure a lot of it has to do with the fact that I don't have the village of extended family to provide assistance and childcare that a lot of people back home might have. That would certainly be nice!

So, if you're still interested in sticking around and reading what I have to say after I've basically said "I'm just going to blather on about my life now and I don't care what you people have to say about it," bless you! I hope you won't be disappointed.

I broke my comments!

noreply@blogger.com (Cahleen Hudson) — Wed, 15 Sep 2010 01:34:00 +0000

It's seems I broke my comments! I experimented with installing Intense Debate for comments, decided I didn't like it, and then uninstalled it. Now it seems that there's no way to leave a comment on my new posts. I've been trying to figure out how to get that little "comments" link back at the bottom of the post with no luck. If anyone knows how to fix this, please email me. Thanks!

ETA: Comments are back! I guess I just can't get them for the last big post I did, which is a shame. Oh well.

6 months later...

noreply@blogger.com (Cahleen Hudson) — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 12:14:00 +0000

Jonathan William was born 6 months ago, and now my brain is a pile of lifeless mush. Not only have I not blogged since I announced his birth (6 whole months ago!), but I have only read one book during that entire time (Operating Instructions by Anne Lamott, just so you know)! Reading is one of my greatest pleasures, and the quality of my writing noticeably deteriorates when I stop reading. It's like I need to feed off the skill of other writers or something. Besides the fact that I can't read, write, or basically sustain a train of thought anymore, it's been so long since I've written in this little space of mine, and so much has happened. The thought of bridging the gap and filling everyone in on the past six months is exhausting and overwhelming!

So I'm just gonna jump right back in, not because I want to be Mrs. Cool Mommy Blogger, but because I need something that is just mine that allows me to flex my creative muscles. I may sort of suck at first, and I may write a lot about the day-to-day reality of raising my little boy over here in Taiwan. Hopefully someone somewhere will find my ramblings interesting. As I learn how to manage my time better and read more, maybe I'll be able to churn out a well-written, thought provoking post or two. For now, in honor of Jonathan's half birthday, I leave you with a little recap of these past six months:

1st Month

March 10, 2010, he is born. Finally! We're in love and I cannot believe this little person grew inside me for nine months and then just came out and joined our family. God is so cool! Things are hard at first, but then we all get used to each other and enjoy the sleepy newborn honeymoon phase (little did I know that I should be enjoying his nice 2+ hour naps now while I still could).

2nd Month (about 1 month old)
Ian's parents come to visit, and my little guy is still a sweet little sleepy bundle (but not for much longer).

3rd Month (about 2 months old)
All of the sudden Jonathan wakes up to the world, and sleeping IS NOT on his agenda. Because he's all of the sudden quite wakeful, he realizes that his little difestive system isn't mature and is quite aware of every gas bubble and stomach pain. I've been exclusively breastfeeding from the start, and I cut all dairy from my diet, which helps. Ian and I are exhausted and sleep deprived, and spend HOURS every day and night trying to get this child of ours to sleep. Ian gets home from work at 10 PM, and I usually haven't even had a chance to eat dinner or shower yet.

Craziness!

He starts smiling all the time. That dimple alone makes him worth all those sleepless nights.

Mommy friends become a valuable lifeline.

Month 4 (about 3 months old)
Still an absolute terror to get to bed. We're definitely in the thick of the fussy phase. I look at pictures of babies that peacefully drift to sleep willy nilly in the bouncy chair or whatever, and wonder how the heck I ended up with a kid that seems to be downing cups of coffee behind my back. I hear rumors that some babies even start doing this thing called sleeping through the night, but Jonathan hasn't heard of that silliness.

Month 5 (about 4 months old)
It's all still a blur, but I think this is when things started to get easier. I became comfortable with my "parenting style." His digestive system began to iron out all the kinks, and I started co-sleeping and I no longer care whether he sleeps through the night. I go out with my mommy friends a lot and we nurse our babies over cups of coffee and Mister Donut. And he just gets cuter every day!

Month 6 (about 5 months old)
Jonathan finally gets to meet his family in the States! I'm nervous about the long flight and jet lag, but he does great. There are so many firsts: first flight, first ride in a car seat, first swim, first foot dip in the ocean.

With his Aunt Colleen on Catalina Island.

I've known these girls since junior high, and now we all have babies!

Month 7 (about 6 months old)
Things are a lot easier, and I love being Jonathan's Mama. He's had nothing but breast milk up until this point, and now he gets his first bit of food.

I'm not sure he likes it.

This is what he looks like when he wakes up from one of his 40 minute micro-naps (gone are the days of 2+ hour naps). His smile is just pure joy to me! He's such a sweet little guy, and I can't wait to get to know him more.

For all of you who stuck around, thank you. =)
ETA: I experimented with a different commenting system for this post, and I ended up screwing everything up and making it impossible to comment. Sorry! Feel free to send me an email instead.

Birth Story

noreply@blogger.com (Cahleen Hudson) — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 08:11:00 +0000

I had my baby! Hurray! A lot of people have been asking me about the birth, and I know that if I don't take advantage of this little window of time I have now, I'll never get it out. That's one of the things I've learned about being a mother; I have to get used to doing everything in 1.5-2 hour intervals. That's about how often he nurses during the day now (I get about 3-3.5 hour stretches at night usually), and when it's time for him to eat I have to drop everything and feed the little guy. Then he goes into a nice sleepy milk coma (unless he's fussy), and I can get stuff done or take a nap until the next cycle. So, with that being said, I'm exhausted and I don't have much time. I'm going to have to just regurgitate the story here without worrying about writing well or making it sound nice. Sorry!

Jonathan William Hudson was born March 10, 2010 at 2:10 AM at 38 weeks. He was about 6.7 pounds and 20 inches long. Here's what happened:

I woke up at about 11:00 AM (little did I know that would be the last time I got to sleep in) on March 9th. Our bed was so uncomfortable for me at that point, so I was sleeping on our couch. As soon as I woke up I felt a little gush, so I stood up quickly to try and avoid getting whatever it was on the couch (I was not successful). The fluid leaked a little bit on the floor as well. It may sound stupid, but like many first time moms, I wasn't convinced that this was my water breaking. For one thing, I was only 38 weeks and I was convinced that I would never be one of the lucky ones that went a couple of weeks early. Everyone I know who has had a baby recently has suffered along until about 41 weeks usually! It also wasn't a huge gush. I knew it didn't have to be a huge gush, but I thought this could be my mucus plug or something. Don't ask me why I thought it could be my mucus plug, but as far as I knew, I hadn't lost it yet. I also hadn't had any bloody show. Nothing was what I expected it to be, so I was in denial.

I woke Ian up (we were really living up our last days of sleeping in) and told him that my water may be leaking. We were both excited at the possibility, but didn't want to get our hopes up. I called my doula, Angie, and she tried to convince me that I was starting early labor. I still wasn't convinced.

Ian and I took a walk to our favorite Sichuan restaurant for lunch, and I had to stop every once in awhile because I felt a little crampy, especially in my lower back. Believe it or not, I still didn't think I was in early labor. For one thing, I knew that it's normal to feel a bit crampy sometimes during pregnancy, and for all I knew I was experiencing braxton hicks contractions. I never once had braxton hicks contractions during my whole pregnancy, so I had no idea what they were supposed to feel like. I also kept feeling little gushes, but when I looked at the pad I was wearing later I couldn't really tell if it was wet or not because it was so absorbent.

Throughout the next couple hours Ian and I were trying to figure out whether I was really in labor or not, and whether he should go to work that evening or not. Angie, who I was keeping in touch with the whole time, was sure I was in early labor but told us not to expect things to really move along until much later that night. I was still in denial, so I sent Ian to work but decided to get my hospital bag ready and tie up a few loose ends around the house just in case.

As the evening went on, I allowed myself to admit that my "waves of crampiness" that seemed to be coming closer and closer together were actually contractions. They were still manageable, but definitely bordering on painful. I cursed myself for not getting my hospital bag ready early, because it was so hard to focus and pack all the necessary crap when I was having to stop what I was doing and focus on getting through a contraction every couple of minutes.

Ian kept calling me every chance he got to check on me, and I started timing my contractions. At first they were about 8 minutes apart, then 5 minutes, and before I knew it 3 minutes apart. I wanted to really try and let Ian finish his shift at work, but by the time they were 3 minutes apart they were becoming more painful and I wanted to get to the birth center. Ian ended up leaving work to come home at 9:00 PM instead of 10:00 PM; an hour early.

On his way home he flagged down a taxi and had it waiting for me downstairs, I had everything ready, but I swear, it was the most messy, ridiculously packed hospital bag ever. I ended up bringing a million outfits for the baby because I had no idea whose responsibility it was to clothe the child during our stay. We got in the taxi and were on our way. My contractions were still about 3 minutes apart, and every bump in the road made them worse. Ian just reached his hand back and I squeezed his hand and breathed through them each time. It was the most uncomfortable car ride ever!

We arrived at the birth center about 20 minutes later. I couldn't wait to get in the LDR room and start laboring with the shower and the tub and the cool ceiling rope thingie, but they made me lie down and be monitored for 20 minutes so they could get a reading on the baby and Ian could fill out paperwork. Lying on my back like this was so uncomfortable, how do women handle having continuous fetal monitoring? Anyway, I was contractions were good and the babies heartbeat was good. They checked me (I was surprised at how uncomfortable this felt, but I guess anything feels uncomfortable when you're lying on your back having contractions), and I was 2 cm. I was happy that I wasn't 0 like I feared, but also a bit disappointed that I wasn't further along. They also checked for amniotic fluid, and it appeared that my water hadn't broken yet, but that I was just leaking a bit earlier.

Finally, I was admitted into my LDR room. I was eying the nice tub, but I decided I wanted to save the big guns for the end when my contractions were really unbearable. I sat on the ball, hung on the rope, and got in their amazing shower. The shower and the ceiling rope thingie were soooo helpful! It's weird how hanging off of a rope can help with pain, but it does. Angie also arrived by this time with some McDonalds for us since we had forgotten to eat dinner and I was starving.

So we ate, I did my thing, Angie massaged me, and Ian learned NOT to ask me questions during a contraction. A nurse would come in periodically to check the baby's heartbeat with a doppler, and everything was going well. At some point my OB showed up and checked me, and also stripped my membranes to speed things up a bit (I was okay with this since I was already in labor). I was more than 4 cm at that point with a bulging bag of water. Progress!

A little bit later the nurses came in to get another 20 minute reading on the fetal heart monitor. This is when things started to go south. Jonathan's heartbeat was faint and difficult to find. Angie told me not to worry because it could have just been due to his position, but then some more nurses came in with oxygen. They said I needed the oxygen because Jonathan needed more oxygen. Then another nurse came in with an IV of glucose for me, and then Dr. Li, my OB, was there. Jonathan's heart rate was a lot lower than it should have been (somewhere in the 80s I think); not good! Dr. Li started talking to Ian in Chinese, thinking that I couldn't understand. I didn't understand everything, but I heard her tell him that she wanted to explain things to him first so I wouldn't be scared. That freaked me out more!

Dr. Li broke my water (with her finger in the middle of a contraction; not comfortable at all) to make sure there wasn't any meconium (this would have been a clear sign of distress). The water was clear, so at that point we were going to keep monitoring his heart rate closely and wait and see if it went up. It wasn't going up though and Dr. Li started to get worried. Apparently, it wasn't good that Jonathan's heart rate was so low this early on in labor, and it seemed Jonathan wasn't getting enough oxygen. I found out later that they were also worried about a prolonged lack of oxygen causing brain damage. It's a good thing I wasn't aware of that possibility at the time! I would have been freaking out even more.

At this point it was pretty clear that Jonathan's cord was being compressed and that he was not getting enough oxygen. Things went into emergency mode and they quickly wheeled me into the OR (Ian and Angie came too) for an emergency c-section. Everything happened so fast, and the situation had become so serious that all the nurses and doctors were just preparing everything without explaining a whole lot. Thank God Angie was there to talk us through everything! They had paged the anesthesiologist and she was on her way, but there was no time to waste and they needed to prep me before the epidural was in.

This part was a little scary. They had to put a catheter in, which kind of sucked because I didn't have the epidural in and it sort of hurt. Then they put the little sheet up, gave me a bunch of shots across my stomach to numb my uterus, painted my stomach with iodine, and kept saying the anesthesiologist would be there any minute. Then Dr. Li said they couldn't wait anymore and that they would just have to knock me out. The last thing I remember is the room swirling around and me thinking about that movie, Awake, where the guy goes through heart surgery awake and can feel everything. Don't see this movie!

I really need Ian to come on here and write everything from his point of view, especially from this point on because I was knocked out. Both Ian and Angie told me later that they were really scared but neither of them let any of that show in front of me. When I started to come to, I heard a baby crying, but at this point I didn't really know it was my baby or that I had even given birth yet. Dr. Li was by my head, holding my hand and explaining everything that had happened. I said, "Where am I, what's that crying?" I was so out of it and had to have to situation explained to me at least 5 times or so. Apparently I was also using quite colorful language! I saw Ian across the room holding a baby, and it slowly began to dawn on me that it was actually our baby.

Here's the weird thing that I think is a bit different than the way they do things in the U.S. They manage the post-operative pain from a c-section here with an epidural, so even though the surgery was done, at this point the anesthesiologist (I don't know when she arrived) was there and put an epidural in. I'm glad I was still kind of out of it for this! I also remember complaining that I could feel pain and wondered why the epidural wasn't making me numb from the waste down so I didn't have to feel anything. Later I found out that epidurals are typically a lot lighter in Taiwan, and this wasn't an epidural for having a baby but one that they put in place just as a way to keep pain meds going into me at certain times (the epidural was in for about 2 or 3 days for this purpose). So I could still move my legs and feet, and they gave me a shot of morphine in my IV to hold me over until the epidural medication kicked in.

Finally, I was wheeled into the recovery room, and it was just me, Ian, Angie, and our little Jonathan. Ian was holding Jonathan, and everyone kept asking me if I wanted to see him. The most surprising thing is that I actually said no at first because I was so drugged up and didn't really know what was going on, and I wanted to wait until I came to a little more and my pain was more numbed, and then have this beautiful moment with my son. Very soon after that I was a lot more lucid, and the nurses helped me sit up and they brought my son to me. I'm not sure, but I think we had been separated for about an hour at this point. He latched on right away though with this ravenous little appetite of his, and he's never had any problems latching or nursing. This is when our whole bonding and falling in love with each other began!

I learned a few things from this experience. I wanted this beautiful natural birth, and I suppose if I had been more lucid during the process I would have been worried about possible bonding issues or whatever because of the way Jonathan was born. Nothing bad happened though! We bonded fine, he nursed fine, and I don't feel like a beautiful experience was robbed from me. I realize now that worrying about every little detail of birth is silly (this isn't to say you shouldn't prepare though). You can't control everything, and in the end, things usually work out fine. I'm so happy that he's healthy and safe!

My recovery has been good. We stayed at the birth center for about 4 days. The first day I didn't get out of bed, the second day I began moving around and walking slowly with help (and they took the catheter out -- yippee!), and on the third day I think they took out the IV and epidural. Now I'm moving round and doing everything like I normally would at home, and I have to remind myself to take it easy because I just had surgery. Everything is great though! We're all exhausted and adjusting to life with a newborn, but I love my little man and wouldn't change a thing.

I finally have my camera back!

noreply@blogger.com (Cahleen Hudson) — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 13:11:00 +0000

While I may be no photographer, and while I'm usually very lazy about taking pictures, I missed my little point-and-shoot Canon so much once it was gone! It was dropped from quite a big height for a wee little digital camera months ago, and I've been waiting for it to get fixed ever since. I took it to a camera repair shop that came highly recommended and usually does good work, but for some reason they just kept not completely fixing it. Of course it would be fine at the shop when they gave it back to me, but then it would start acting funky again as soon as I got it home. Finally, after taking it back to the shop for the fourth time, I laid on the guilt pretty thick and told them that I was beginning to think that I would have no camera to capture my first child's first precious moments of life. They felt really bad and kept it for two weeks, and finally did a thorough check and discovered the real problem. The real problem ended up being much more complicated and expensive than the other minor problem that I paid them to repair, but they fixed it for free. So now, I've been trying extra hard to be mindful of photo opportunities and taking advantage of them when they come my way. I still kind of suck at taking pictures, but hopefully I'll improve with practice. Here's a few moments from my life that I've captured recently:

I don't know why I thought this looked cool. I'm spying on the comings and goings of the worshipers at Longshan Temple through a space in the outside wall.

Going to get some dou hua. I actually don't like this place so much because they're a chain and skimp on all the good gloopy bits, but they were there and I had a craving.

Here's my favorite dou hua combination: dou hua with boiled peanuts (I never cared much for peanuts until I came to Asia and had them boiled) and glutinous balls made from sweet potato and taro. There should be way more glutinous balls!

Wow, I just realized that most of my pictures seem to be food related! I spend a great part of my day looking for and consuming good food. Anyway, here is one of my favorite Zongzi places, which happens to be right outside Dingxi station, which happens to be the MRT near our apartment. As you can imagine, I come here a lot to take care of my Zongzi cravings.

Here's some of that delicious Zongzi hanging. I guess they're hanging out to dry? I'm not too sure of the process, but they always have to be hung for awhile.

Here's Ian looking handsome as ever. We were at Warner Village with our friend Catherine, who is my PPIC (pregnant partner in crime, she's the clever one who coined this phrase), about to go to the Taipei International Book Expo (where we bought our first children's books for Jonathan). You can tell that people are gearing up for Chinese New Year by all the lanterns hanging in the background.

That's it for now. Stay tuned for more mediocre but interesting photography!

Something lost, something gained

noreply@blogger.com (Cahleen Hudson) — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 10:29:00 +0000

Let's start with the negatives; I've lost a lot since becoming a mom (or more accurately, a mom-to-be). Perhaps the most glaring among these is the loss of bodily autonomy. No one really warned me about this!

I used to think that being pregnant would just involve my normal body with a large ball-like tummy instead of my usual one. How wrong I was! Although my son supposedly just weighs a little over 3 pounds at the moment, he is somehow disrupting every single fiber of my being. I've stopped questioning all of the weird stuff that's been happening to me, because a quick Google search ALWAYS confirms that whatever strange bodily phenomenon I'm experiencing is yet another symptom of pregnancy. Did you know that hair loss can be due to pregnancy? But pregnancy can also cause your hair to become more thick and lustrous, so really whatever happens to your hair during this time is because of pregnancy.

As of right now, this little 3-4 pound child (along with all the fluid and what not that he's happily floating in) has caused my belly to swell to the point where I can no longer bend at the waist to pick something up off the floor. I have to squat, bending at the knees in order to lower myself. Sometimes getting up from this position is a problem because my center of balance has shifted. I have back pain, and my joints and hips keep spreading and stretching, despite their painful protests. Sleeping has become a nightly exercise in "creative pillow placement". Taiwan has crap maternity pillows, so currently I rely on five pillows, all placed at strategic points of my body. This gets me through the night, but I wake up in pain.

My couch is a quicksand of cushions and unnecessary fluff. Why did I used to think this Ikea contraption was the most comfortable thing in the world? Now when I sit on my couch, I put about four pillows behind my back to keep me from sinking back too far into the abyss. Otherwise, I need to gather all my strength and literally HEAVE my pregnant body off the couch.

I've had to give up really fun stuff. This isn't counting the whole first 22 weeks where I pretty much had to give up leaving the house, allowing scents to enter my nostrils, and eating food in general due to extreme "morning" sickness. No longer can I drink a nice cold beer in the evenings, or ~~boil~~ soak in a relaxing hot spring, and how I miss the pungent, delicious flavor of feta cheese!

This loss of bodily autonomy means that I can no longer flippantly enter into dangerous situations. Not that I was some sort of adrenaline junkie before, but I enjoyed zipping around Taipei on my little 100cc scooter. Open on all sides, the wind in my face -- it was glorious (when it wasn't raining)! I can't do that anymore. I would never forgive myself if I got into an accident and my son was hurt or killed. As he's grown beyond the confines of my pelvic bone, I sense his vulnerability. He's just hanging out there, and all I have to offer him as protection is my skin. I can't possibly jump onto a scooter with the same abandon that I once did.

But last week, I did. For the last time, I drove my beloved purple scooter. We realized that we no longer needed two scooters. I couldn't drive mine anymore, and once Jonathan gets here only one of us can drive at a time because there is absolutely no way that we're bringing him on a scooter (yes, it's quite common to see a Taiwanese family on a scooter, weaving in and out of traffic while the person on the back clutches their baby to their chest). That was it. I'm a mom, this is what needed to be done for my son. We sold my scooter instead of Ian's because we could get more money for it, and frankly, we need the money to pay for my doula and hippie dippy water birth at the birth center.

So I drove my scooter for the last time, straight to the guy who was buying it. It was a beautiful day! This of course reminded me of how much I would miss that wind in my face, that freedom. I realized that I was bound by some sort of biological destiny to sacrifice a ton of stuff for my son. I'm the one who can't ride a scooter in dangerous Taipei traffic anymore because he's living in my body. I'm the one who still has to watch what I eat and drink once he's born because he'll be eating from my body. As I rode my scooter on that beautiful day, I thought about how much this sucked.

I reached my destination, and reluctantly sold my ~~freedom~~ scooter. I began walking to the MRT (my new best friend), and I continued to reflect on how no matter how equality-minded you and your partner are, parenthood seems to require more of women in so many ways.

The sun was shining, and in spite of this realization, it was still a beautiful day. It was then that I felt Jonathan move, a lazy sort of movement that suggested he knew nothing of all this inner turmoil I was experiencing -- otherwise he would have been more apologetic about it, like, "Sorry to disturb you further, Mommy, but I just need to find a more comfortable position." I stepped over to the side of the sidewalk and placed my hand on my belly and felt it shift beneath my fingers. I watched people hurriedly passing me by, but I was no longer thinking about how much more was required of me, how much greater my alter was. What was a scooter, really, compared to enjoying this moment with my son? What a blessing, to be able to feel the first stirrings of life, and to feel them grow stronger day by day, finally culminating in a new little person on this earth. I'll feel the freeing feeling of the wind on my face again, but for now a certain patient slowness is called for. These last two month's before Jonathan's arrival are a time for preparation and reflection, and although I've lost some, I've gained much. So I'll take these moments, and surrender to the stretching of heart and skin, and trust that it's all worth it.

Ultrasound Update

noreply@blogger.com (Cahleen Hudson) — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 13:21:00 +0000

Here's little Jonathan on the ultrasound at almost 24 weeks. It could be that only my family is interested in this, but I wanted to find some way for them to "participate" in this whole process even though they're so far away. Sorry, it's a little blurry. But to the expecting parents and grandparents, it's still beautiful!

Belly Pic #1

noreply@blogger.com (Cahleen Hudson) — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 17:05:00 +0000

It's getting a little bigger, but I still think it looks more like a fat belly than a baby belly.

As of right now I'm about 18 weeks. Almost halfway there! =)

Shaking off the Dust

noreply@blogger.com (Cahleen Hudson) — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 12:53:00 +0000

It's been awhile and I feel like my writing brain is dusty, covered with lots of rust and cobwebs. I wasn't writing because not only are all these pregnancy hormones making me feel extremely nauseous and completely lacking in energy, but they have robbed me of my once firm (if I do say so myself) grasp on reality. I used to love living in Taiwan! Then I got pregnant and all of the sudden it's a terrible place full of sooty car exhaust and oily chou dofu fumes, and they don't even have pumpkin spice lattes! I'd walk over a sewer grate, do my best not to vomit, then I'd run for cover in an alley only to come face to face with a boiling, simmering pot of duck innards. I started to think that Taiwan isn't the best place to be pregnant.

I also got depressed and sort of sank into this sick, useless feeling. Being so sick, compounded by the smells and the heat and the crowds, made me start to wonder if I now hated living in Taiwan. I was also very bored. Before I found out about our little "surprise", I was studying Chinese like mad. I went to class every day and even quit all of my English teaching gigs so I could devote all of my attention to studying Chinese. We felt this was what God wanted me to do. How could I really love and understand Taiwan's people and culture without knowing the language? Then that second line appeared on the home pregnancy test. It was faint, but clearly there and not going away. At first I didn't really feel any different and thought I would just continue my intensive Chinese studies (3 hours of class every day, about 5 hours of homework every night, and weekly character tests), maybe stop for a few weeks when I needed to have the baby, then just pick right off where I left off. I was so naive.

The vomiting started at about 6 weeks (I found out I was pregnant at about 4 weeks) and didn't stop until ... uh, actually it still hasn't stopped. I'm 15 or 16 weeks now and it has abated somewhat. I now can go about 2 days without vomiting if I concentrate real hard. When I do start throwing up again I have medicine I can take, but it puts me in a weird, psychedelic coma-like state that I don't wake up from for about 6 hours (it's just a prescription combination of B6 and an antihistamine, but it is one STRONG antihistamine). This isn't very pleasant and makes my already slipping grasp on reality more tenuous, so I try to just deal with the nausea and think fresh, good-smelling thoughts.

The useless feeling mentioned above comes from the utter boredom of being home sick all the time. Once the morning sickness made itself at home, my Chinese classes came to an abrupt end. I would like to pick them up again as soon as I'm feeling a bit more energetic, but I'll probably get a tutor. I just can't handle the stress of a class with actual academic expectations right now! There's really no sense in me looking for another English teaching job now for several reasons. First of all, I'd probably have to run out of the class to vomit a lot, which wouldn't be good. Second, they'd have to be willing to hire me knowing that in about 6 months I would be taking time off to have a baby. Third, who the heck is going to take care of the baby when he/she gets here? This last question is something that hadn't occurred to me prior to getting pregnant. Our family is in America, so we can't just drop off the baby at Grandma's house on our way to work. My husband has a good job (unusually good for English teaching in Taiwan) and he's in the middle of getting his master's degree, so it just makes sense for me to be the one that stays home for the time being. I've somehow become a SAHM without ever intending to!

Now that I'm home most of the time, I'm trying to figure out how to still have a fulfilling life. It's a bit difficult now because I'm sick and tired all the time, and I'm also pretty bored because the baby isn't here yet (I'm sure once the kid gets here I'll have more to do). I look forward to the weather getting a bit cooler and my energy returning so I can start getting things in order now. For example, I need to make sure I have things in my life that AREN'T directly related to taking care of a baby (although I will do my best in that area of course). I need to make sure I'm still learning. What I want to have as "mine" right now is learning Chinese, improving my writing, reading a lot, continuing to help out with different OMF ministries as much as I can, and friends. Friends is especially important because being home a lot has been lonely. That's a whole other post, though!

So that's where I've been and where I'm at. I'm feeling a little better, but not that great. I'm waiting for the nausea to go away and my energy to return so that I can start figuring out how to live this new life of mine. Until then I guess I'll have to try and do stuff on the days I feel good, and try not to feel guilty about doing absolutely nothing on the days I feel like crap. I have the best husband! On top of working and studying like a fiend, he still does his best to satisfy my food cravings and keep the house clean when I'm too sick to move. My dog, Mei Mei, has also been great company on my can't-get-up-off-the-couch days. I'm trying to remember that the disdain I feel for Taiwan on my bad days is not real, it's just a combination of hormones and sickness driving me nuts. Normally I love living in Taiwan for so many reasons! I think pregnancy just brings about "culture stress" in a lot of new ways. I hope to really work on my writing, so hopefully you'll be hearing from me more. Thanks for listening!

Announcement and Apology

noreply@blogger.com (Cahleen Hudson) — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 07:54:00 +0000

Hello everyone! I found out that I'm pregnant (a bit of a surprise, but a happy one) a few weeks ago, and have been planning on writing a nice deep, beautiful post about the joys of expecting my first child. I can't though because I've been puking my brains out. I feel so sick and sometimes all I can do is lie on the cold floor and moan. So, this post will have to serve as my official announcement and my official apology for not blogging in so long. For now, this is as good as it's gonna get because I have to go throw up again. Ugh.

My mom talks to the Wallflowers!

noreply@blogger.com (Cahleen Hudson) — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 03:31:00 +0000

My brother went to a Wallflowers concert and for some reason decided to call my mom during the show. I'm not exactly sure what happened, but my brother ended up onstage and one of the Wallflower guys (sorry, don't know enough about the band to know their names and all that stuff) ended up talking to my mom on the phone. Naturally, my mom is very excited about this.

In other news, it's the 4th of July and I get no BBQ or fireworks over here in Taiwan! What a tragedy. Happy 4th to all my American friends and family! Please eat a chicken wing slathered in fatty, tangy BBQ sauce for me, and light a few illegal fireworks from Mexico. Might as well go all the way, right?

NCCU Chinese Class Update

noreply@blogger.com (Cahleen Hudson) — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 12:23:00 +0000

I've been super super super busy, and I haven't had time to tell everyone what happened with my whole finding-the-right-Chinese-class drama. However, it just so happens that right now I'm procrastinating on studying for a test I have tomorrow, so right now is a perfect time for a little update.

First of all, I found out that my whole concept of how they divide the different levels and classes at NCCU was screwed up. This was due to the fact that I was still thinking in terms of the old PAV (Practical Audio-Visual Chinese, THE book for Chinese study in Taiwan), not the second edition. Many of you may already know that the old edition of the PAV series was comprised of (as far as I know) two big honkin' books -- level one and level two. Now it looks prettier and it's divided into 5 or 6 books I think, maybe more. This means that I don't have to carry as big of a book to class, and each level book starts at chapter one for that book. So although my new class is starting in chapter 7 of book 2, this is really chapter 19 of the old book 1. So basically, I freaked out for nothing because I thought I would be starting in chapter 7 of the old book 2. To make a long story short, I'm in the perfect level for me now (besides the fact that I still have some major catching up to do with character writing), and I'm learning so much in my new class!

Now, allow me to sing the praises of my class at NCCU. It's 3 minutes from my house, and it's in a beautiful part of Taipei -- that's a plus! I have to walk up a steep hill and a bunch of stairs to get to my class, which is actually a plus because it's forcing me to exercise. There's a 7-11 with City Cafe coffee on campus right across from the foreign language building -- sweet! My teacher is really energetic and fun, and uses a lot of modern teaching techniques in our class (by the way, it turns out she has a blog). The three hours just fly by, and I get a lot of speaking practice because the classes at NCCU are really small (there's just six of us and we all sit at one big table). And guess what? I even like the fact that I have to get up at 7:15 AM to go to class every day! I've always wanted to become a morning person, and while I'm definitely not there yet, I'm getting a little closer every day. It's like there's this whole other world outside when you wake up early! I discovered on my first day of class that there's a vibrant morning market selling all kinds of fresh meat, fruit and vegetables right downstairs from my house. I just never knew because I never got up early enough to see it.

Well, I really do need to start studying for my test tomorrow. We're learning the whole 把 sentence construction, which is actually really easy but I have to make sure I know how to write all the characters that I'm going to need to know for the test tomorrow. I'll leave you with a little bit of cuteness to make your heart happy:

Here's the background story: Mei Mei used to sleep under the table by my feet whenever I was at the table doing something (i.e. eating, studying, playing around on the computer), but lately she's been hopping up on a chair and from there actually hopping up onto the table.

I guess she thinks she's helping me study?

First Day at NCCU - Lord, help me!

noreply@blogger.com (Cahleen Hudson) — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 08:22:00 +0000

I left my first day of Chinese class at NCCU today with very mixed feelings. In fact, I'm quite perplexed over what I should do. Here's my situation. I took their placement test just so they could officially tell me what I already knew; my speaking isn't bad, my writing sucks, and since writing trumps speaking in this system*, I'm going to the beginner class. I mentally prepared myself to be stuck in a class full of "ni hao" learning, but I still didn't despair for a few reasons. One, I knew that the teacher, once I impressed her with my stellar speaking skills, could chose to send me to the next level up (why are the office people often more picky about knowing characters than the actual teachers themselves?), and two, I knew that the class would probably have quite a few students that were in the same boat as me (being able to speak okay but not able to write), and so even if I didn't get moved up I could still have some substantial Chinese conversations and just tune out all the boring stuff. I was also looking on the bright side by telling myself that I could just breeze through this class and easily get a score of over 80, which is just what I need to get a scholarship and then start taking my "real" Chinese class for free next session. Also, as much as I hate to admit it, I do need time to get caught up on my characters.

I looked at the Summer class schedule that they posted on their website, and I thought it said I was in level one. Well, apparently I just don't understand how to read their crazy schedule. It turned out I was put in the next level up. Cool! I was so happy because that would mean I would still learn some new stuff, but it would be easy enough for me to spend time getting caught up on my characters. The class is still book one of the infamous PAV (Practical Audio-Visual Chinese) book, but it starts at lesson 11. This was just what I wanted!

My joy was very short lived. As soon as I got to the class and started chatting with the teacher, she told me this class would be too easy for me. I thought she was just flattering me because I don't think I have a firm grasp of all the grammar constructions in the class material yet. Then this guy comes in. I think he said he was German, but I don't know for sure because he was very hard to understand. He was what you would call a hippie type, which I gathered by the fact that he wore weird pine cone jewelry and had really long hair. Anyway, this guy couldn't really speak Chinese. That's fine, we've all been there. But shouldn't he be in the beginner class? No, because he just finished that class and was indiscriminately funneled up into the next class. I kept waiting to get into PAV, but the teacher had to spend the whole class teaching this guy stuff like how to tell time and the difference between shang ke and xia ke. Where was he during level one? Out gathering pine cones apparently.

It was only me and the hippie guy in the class, so he ended up (although I know he didn't mean to) determining the pace of the class. I learned absolutely nothing new and was not able to have a single substantial conversation. And get this, on the break he tried to English bandit me! He had been using English the entire class (even though both me and the teacher kept trying to guide him back to Chinese), and on the break he asked me if he could please speak English with me because he was also learning English at TLI. I told him, in a very nice way, that he should speak English at TLI and Chinese at NCCU, and that I come to Chinese class specifically to speak Chinese. It didn't do much good though.

Here's where I'm at now. The teacher wants me to try a different level class tomorrow morning, but that class is in lesson 7 of book 2 of PAV. That seems like a huge jump to me! I just don't feel like I'm there yet. I peeked in the book and I'm supposed to already know how to say things like "psychology" in Chinese by the time I get to lesson 7 of book 2. I also have the option of going to a class that is starting lesson 1 of book 2. This seems like the most logical choice, right? That's what I want to do, but my teacher insisted that that class is basically the same as hers, and if her class is too easy then that one would be too. I don't see how that can possibly be true, because there are 14 lessons between her class and the other class that starts at lesson 1 of book 2.

I'm annoyed, to say the least. I'm annoyed because I think that I'm actually in the right level now, but I have to go to a level that's too high for me in order to get away from this guy that obviously should have been repeated and is now slowing down the class I should be in. I'm annoyed because the teachers keep telling me that I should go to another level if I actually want to learn anything, but I'm going to fail all the tests in that "better for me" level because I don't know the Chinese characters. So I basically have to choose between really learning and failing their "system" or succeeding in their system and not really learning anything. I'm also annoyed that they act like they expect so much of you when you take the placement test (and make you feel stupid and guilty for not knowing characters), but then once you're in the system they won't hold back the people that need to be held back (I know this because they're even very reluctant to let people willingly repeat courses at places like NCCU and Shida).

I realize that this is a very ranty post, and maybe I'm being a bit hard on the hippie guy. It's not his fault that he's in the wrong level. He's only been in Taiwan for 3 months (as opposed to my 3 years), and he's obviously just being rushed through their system. Also, his character writing is very good! I did my best to encourage him, but I draw the line at letting him use me for English practice in Chinese class.

There are a lot of good things about NCCU. The teachers seem good, and they have the smallest class sizes that I've ever seen. I'm just so worried about being put in the wrong level. Is it okay to be put in a level that's too high because it'll force me to play catch-up and learn quickly, or will this be completely overwhelming and drive me crazy? Help! Please give me some advice!

*Some may wonder why I'd willingly subject myself to such a stupid system that valued writing Chinese ~~hieroglyphics~~ characters over more important things like speaking. All I can say is that in the 3 years I've been here I've tried learning Chinese many different ways, and as flawed as this system is, it just works the best for me. I struggle with laziness and motivation, and the only way I can get myself to study is with a test looming on the horizon. Also, as I progress in my Chinese, I'm starting to want to learn characters more and more.

Student Writing #1: Mr. MoJoJoJo and the Big Crocodile

noreply@blogger.com (Cahleen Hudson) — Mon, 11 May 2009 11:38:00 +0000

I've decided to introduce a new semi-regular feature to this blog. Sometimes I read something that one of my students has written, and I think, "Wow, this is too funny/good/ridiculous not to share!" So, with their permission of course, I'd like to once in awhile share those writings with you. I know I should edit their work before I post it on my blog so that they'll look good and not be "English shamed," but sometimes the mistakes are so cute that I just have to leave them in! This student wrote a very funny essay (with my husband and I as the main characters), and the mistakes were too funny to take out. When you're reading it, please be aware that it is VERY difficult to become a good writer in a second language, especially English with all it's crazy grammatical rules and exceptions to said rules. Realize that although there are some mistakes in this essay, it's actually quite good considering that this was written by a 14-year-old Taiwanese girl. So be nice! Now, without further ado, I bring you this fine masterpiece:

Mr. MoJoJoJo and the Big Crocodile
by Sarah Wang

Chapter 1

Cahleen was a girl who lived in a farm. Her father was a kind person. Their whole family always cherishes the food they got. Cahleen was very in love with pigs. She thought pigs were the most cutest and smartest of all creatures. When she was 16 she met her only love Ian. Ian was a handsome pig seller. They got married very soon. Ah~ that's so romantic. However, they didn't live happily ever after.

Cahleen always think too much she always think that Ian had a fair. She had a lot of imagination abut it. She loved him too much. Somehow, she got very angry about it (even though she wasn't sure it was true). She ran out her house. She thought "Ha ha ha. Since you betrayed me, I will not be alone any more. You got a mistress. I will get a man too. Wu ha ha ha!" She made a specific laugh and went away.

One day she went into a bar. She saw Mr. MoJoJoJo. She saw him picking his nose. "Oh my gosh that's like a pig" she thought. She got in love with him immediately. Mr. MoJoJoJo said he loved her too. But she didn't notice that Mr. MoJoJoJo was using her. He wanted to kill all the crocodiles in the earth. If you ask me why he hated them? I would tell you that Mr. MoJoJoJo's eyebrow had been bitten off by a fat crocodile. He felt ashamed and even tried to commit suicide. Poor him. Cahleen and Mr. MoJoJoJo pick their noses together. They always play their boogers. Ewwww! Cahleen had a good time with him. But she didn't know that a big plan was going on: Mr. MoJoJoJo's revenge.

My husband and I are waiting with bated breath to see what chapter two brings!

*The above picture is my little aspiring writer student. When I told her I wanted to put her picture on my blog, she said, "I'll be famous!" I laughed quite hard at the fact that she thought being featured on my blog would make her famous.

Working at Starbucks

noreply@blogger.com (Cahleen Hudson) — Mon, 04 May 2009 14:35:00 +0000

I worked at Starbucks for awhile and absolutely loved it, so I know what this guy is talking about!

h/t to Accidental Blog for the link.

Housecleaning

noreply@blogger.com (Cahleen Hudson) — Mon, 04 May 2009 07:44:00 +0000

I'm back and it's time for a little housecleaning on this blog. It's weird; blogging is something I love to do, but when I let too much time pass between posts it's hard to get started again. I'm sure some people can relate. I also used to think that I should only post if I had something extremely cool and deep and valuable to say, but that was just way too much pressure to act intelligent all the time. So I just decided to say, "Screw it, I'm blogging anyway!" Sometimes I'll be deep, sometimes I'll post pictures, and sometimes I'll just post about whatever nonsense comes to my head. Besides, I've come to appreciate the more lighthearted sort of blogs in my Google reader. The deep stuff is nice and all, but sometimes I'm too tired to really interact with such heady material and I just want to read about someone's weird experience in the frozen food section at the store. Besides, commenting on those sort of posts is so much easier. You can say something completely mundane and stupid and it's okay!

Speaking of comments, and delving further into the housecleaning aspect of this post, who still reads this blog and why don't you comment more? I obviously don't expect loads of comments because I'm a bad blogger and post rather sporadically, but according to my stats a fair amount of people subscribe to this blog. So where are the comments? I do have a theory as to the lack of comments. I'm guessing that about half the people that read this blog are family members of mine that aren't really into blogs anyway (they only read mine because I'm related to them), and the other half are Taiwanese students of mine who aren't confident enough about their English to leave a comment. For those of you that are into blogging though, I've decided to sweeten the deal for you a bit. I've added a "recent comments" widget to my sidebar, so now whoever comments on my blog will get a little more exposure. Currently, most of the comments are mine, which is embarrassing.

As for this a fore mentioned sidebar, I have so many neat goodies for you there! If you're into blogs and interesting internet articles, you'll love my sidebar. While I may not post on my own blog as often as I'd like (which is going to change, for real this time), I'm an avid reader of other people's blogs. I consume massive amounts of info every day (because it's fun) and I post all the extra juicy bits to del.icio.us, Facebook, and sometimes I even tweet about it. The cool thing is that if you're into reading the kind of stuff I read and share (stuff about Christianity, the Church, feminism and gender equality, social justice, social science, Taiwan, doggy love, etc.) then you can just get all the links on my sidebar. I also share awesome blog posts from bloggyland there, as well as a lot of helpful Chinese learning links and pretty pictures of Taiwan.

**Okay, let me refer to my little housecleaning list here. Let's see, complaining about the lack of comments...check. Shameless self promotion of my awesome sidebar...check.**

My next order of business is to tell you about what I've been up to lately. I have to bring you up to speed because I haven't been blogging about these events like I should. I won't go into a lot of details now because it would take too long. What I am going to do is just write them in the form of a list, and if anyone actually finds any of it interesting I might devote a post or two to this stuff later. Here it is:

1. After living in Taiwan for 3 years, I finally have friends who don't know English and only speak Chinese with me. It's awesome!

2. One of those friends is a girl from China (daughter of one of the ladies in Wanhua) who just became a Christian. I'm so happy for her! Please pray that she'll continue to grow in her faith when she heads back to China.

3. I've been instant messaging with people in Pinyin. It's so fun!

4. In addition to volunteering with OMF for the prostitute ministry in Wanhua, I'm also involved in a ministry where I get to help take care of HIV babies at an orphanage (although not all of them have HIV).

5. I'm addicted to Twitter and my new iPod Touch.

6. I feed my dog the BARF diet now. It's beyond awesome, and no I'm not some weird hippie.

7. For the first time in my life, I feel pretty okay with my weight (and no, I haven't lost any weight recently).

8. My husband is still the most wonderful, sexiest man alive, and I love him more and more every day.

9. Ian and I stopped going to the ~~song and lecture club~~ institution of church (although we still have Church with other believers quite often), and I've never grown so much in my faith. This is an incredible journey.

10. Ian's parents are in Taiwan for 3 months and are staying in Danshui because Ian's mom is taking an SBS class. We get to see them about once or twice a week, and it's so much fun!

11. We got a Costco membership. Yippee!

I know I'm forgetting something, but this will have to suffice for now. I leave you with these funny pictures ...

I saw this in a little gift shop in Danshui, and I found it to be incredibly funny because it is so obviously not a real Disney product, yet they felt the need to put a fake copyright logo on it.

The hilarity of the sign should speak for itself. This was also in Danshui.

** I just want to say that I stole that snarky little "song and lecture club" remark from someone else. I'm not that witty on my own!

New Apartment Pictures

noreply@blogger.com (Cahleen Hudson) — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 17:14:00 +0000

This post may only be interesting to my parents and my grandmother, but they really want to see pictures of our new apartment. Here they are! If you could care less about what the inside of my apartment looks like, feel free to skip this post.

This is the part of our living room facing the front door. The floor is actually white, but somehow the camera made it look yellowish.

A peek down the hall from the living room.

Still the living room, these are our cozy couches. We like the way you can see into the next room, which is the office.

This is still technically the living room, but I guess you could call this part of the living room the dining area. Those windows look out onto the lane. Just on the other side is the river, but we can't see it because the row of apartment buildings across the lane from us block the view. Also, it may interest you to know that we usually have a nice rug on the floor. However, for some reason my dog loves to throw up on it. The rug was in the wash at the time this photo was taken.

Haven't you always wanted to see the inside of my bathroom? I like the blue color, and I like that we have a typical Taiwanese bathroom with no bathtub. It's just a shower head that comes out of the wall with a drain in the floor. The fact that we even have a shower curtain is very Western, and according to my students, completely unnecessary. I have to disagree with them on that one though. I prefer to keep the spray of the shower contained in one area.

I finally have cupboards! The thing on the wall in the corner is a dish dryer, which I love! You can't see it, but there's a door at the end of the kitchen that leads out onto the balcony.

Office/storage room. I feel that having an extra "storage room" is necessary in a place where most apartments don't have built-in closets or cupboards.

The bedroom -- smaller, but also cozier than the one in our last apartment. My side's the right side (left if you're actually lying in bed).

I just threw this in because it's cute. Mei Mei is saying, "Come to Taiwan and visit me!"

For all my family in the U.S. who wanted to see these pictures -- I love you guys!

I'm sick!

noreply@blogger.com (Cahleen Hudson) — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 12:51:00 +0000

I have a cold now, and although I've been trying to write an interesting post that's been swimming around in my head for the past 30 minutes, I don't seem to be capable of producing anything of any sense. I feel like crap! So here's a short little ditty for you. There's this really, really, really good Vietnamese restaurant by our apartment. Its so good that I took a picture of the food!

Here's a hot, steaming bowl of beef pho.

Here's me looking happy because I get to eat the pho.

Here's Ian drinking some sort of interesting green milk drink.

What the heck was going on in that head of his?

I have a few interesting things I want to post about, but I just don't feel very well now. Hopefully I'll be back to my normal self soon!

Impromptu Activism

noreply@blogger.com (Cahleen Hudson) — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 12:35:00 +0000

I was near Taipei Main Station the other day, which also happens to be by all the buildings for the various branches of government for Taiwan, and I somehow ended up getting brought in to a small-scale protest. There's pretty much always a little DPP camp protesting outside of one of the government buildings (I'm not sure which one). However, last week was the first time that anyone from the protest has actually approached me.

On this particular day, there happened to be some well-spoken academics or professors of some sort among the bunch, and the protest seemed to be particularly lively. I was walking by them, minding my own business, when one of the professors asks me in perfect English, "Hey! Do you know that Taiwan is not China?" I have no idea why he asked me. He probably wanted to stir up more excitement by bringing in the token foreign opinion, but I was kind of happy to be asked nonetheless. Let me just say that I don't presume to be an expert on Taiwan, and I realize that I'm sort of a guest here. However, that doesn't mean I don't have my opinions. I think it would be horrible if Taiwan were forced to become a part of China against the will of the majority. That's basic democracy, isn't it? So I told the people, that no, I didn't believe that Taiwan is a part of China, and they all cheered. At this point I was speaking Chinese, and one of the people asked me if I could speak Taiwanese. I looked at my feet and sheepishly told them no. You should have seen the look of disappointment on their faces. To be honest, Taiwanese is just not as practical as Mandarin, and there aren't as many resources for foreigners to learn it. I was feeling pretty bad, but then I said "uh, pai se" and they all cheered again. I sat down and hung out with them for about 20 minutes (unfortunately I could only speak with them in Mandarin, but they didn't seem to mind too much). It was kind of surreal.