My blog used to be my online journal, and somewhere along the way I stopped sharing. Life was busy, no doubt, but I also attribute my silence to a new desire for privacy. It’s weird, and probably doesn’t make sense how I’m articulating it, but it felt like a piece of my heart was out of my body with Winnie, just walking around, and I had less and less control over her experience in the world. The more independent Winnie got, the more I wanted to keep her, and our life, to myself. I didn’t always have a problem being vulnerable in my blog posts, often putting my heart out there and crying…err, sobbing (ha!) into cyberspace. But now I feel like so much of my heart is already “out there” with Winnie and now Etta, that I have a hard time opening myself up even more.

It’s an oddly deep reaction to publishing a blog post, right? I can’t help feeling alllllll the feels.

Anyway, I think that Etta has toughened me up a little bit. She’s forced me to give up control. I have to let them both forge their own way more, simply because of the sheer logistics of having two kids and only one of me most of the time while Neil’s working. So I’m feeling more like myself than I have in a long time – probably since before Winnie was born – and I’m finding that sharing my work and growing my business restores some peace in my chaotic, puke-filled world. I realize that I haven’t formally introduced Etta to my blog, so that’s coming soon…but in the meantime, here are some favorites from a day at the apple orchard with my gal pals.

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Photographing families with more than two kids used to scare the living daylights out of me. I would stress for days before the shoot, frantically planning ways to get everyone looking happy at the same time. But my work changed when I stopped trying to deliver a gallery full of Pinterest-worthy images…I don’t want to be the photographer that spends an hour trying to get everyone looking at me and smiling at once. I want to be the photographer you call to document your family, today. All of the chaos, all of the beautiful imperfections that make your connection unique. Something beautiful happens when I’m not out to capture THE shot. I always seem to end up delivering a gallery full of images that I love.

I think my new direction to families is going to be this: don’t tell your kids to look at me and smile; don’t tell them that we are going to take pictures and they need to cooperate. Heck, don’t even dress them in something noticeably different than you normally do (errr…or dress them in the white/blush/grey/ivory/muted version). Tell them we are going to go meet this crazy girl named Caili, who wants to have dance parties with you, play with you, sing like a mad woman for you, oh – and she always has a camera with her. Weird.

There’s a saying that no one can be you better than you can, and no one is better at being the Soukups than these five.

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I admire this couple for so many reasons – and one of them is their approach to parenting. They’re raising such kind and considerate children, and it’s by no accident. One thing that I loved about our time together was the emphasis they placed on capturing just Beckett for his first birthday. They made every effort to give him the spotlight when often, the second child’s birthday ends up being a good reason for family photos. They are very intentional in every aspect of their parenting, making sure to celebrate his milestones equally. He is such a beautiful addition to their family, and our session celebrated that.

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These photos were taken on a warm spring day, during that all-too-short window of time when the weather is mild and things are blooming…and the sun sets early enough that you don’t have to keep your babies up until 9pm to get the best light. Nobody wants that. :) Now that we have two kids of our own, I see the first baby’s first year so differently. It’s a whirlwind, for sure…but relatively free of distractions. You can soak up every milestone and live forever in each moment. I have always enjoyed photographing families of three, but I have a new appreciation for it now.

This family opted for a quick mini-session and I’m so happy with all we were able to capture in such a short half hour. We even threw in a quick cake smash at the end, because a baby covered in frosting will never get old.

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These new parents welcomed sweet Colette in the midst of a big move. And while it sounds overwhelming, it turned out to be the best timing. They’re temporarily living with family, and are able to soak up all the memories (and help, let’s be honest) together in one big house – with plenty of room for the rest of the family to come visit. Next time we have a baby, remind me to move in with my parents for a month. ;)

This little girl is so, so precious. Those early days are so special, and I love to see families embracing the challenges and uncertainty while savoring every moment.

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Can we talk about baby fever for a moment here? I was doing fine in my toddler world until I sat down to blog this session. I’m sure I’ll come to my senses the next time Winnie sleeps for more than 45 minutes straight and actually tells me what she needs instead of screaming until I guess correctly. But sometimes I worry that we’re going to become the Midwestern Duggars if someone doesn’t teach me how to reel in the newborn obsession. Maybe I should quit photography and become a newborn nanny. I’m all yours, until your baby turns 6 months and then it’s see-ya! Off to the next newborn baby. Worst business idea ever, you say? Got it.

On to what I know best – photos! This lifestyle session was just what those early newborn days should be like – relaxed, sleepy and so full of love.

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These two are getting married THIS WEEKEND! As in, two days from today! The weather looks perfect and I have been looking forward to this day for what seems like years. In our house, I refer to this as The Royal Wedding because first of all, Barrett and Kathleen just sound like regal names. And secondly, these two have timeless class and elegance that makes me green with envy. Literally. I bought a new green dress to wear to their wedding.

The sun never came out for their engagement session, which made for such a soft, creamy collection of photos. I love how romantic these feel and can’t wait to see these two as a bride and groom. Excuse the photo dump – I just couldn’t narrow them down! Barrett and Kathleen, I will see you two love birds so soon!

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The people in today’s post are so so so special to me! Last summer, my brother and his wife anxiously awaited their third child. It was a bittersweet time – they had been a family of four for so long that in some ways, it felt like the end of an era. Obviously, their littlest has only added to the craziness and laughter in their home. But before there was baby sister Pepper, it was just Mom and her three boys…and there was something so sweet about that dynamic. I’m so glad they had me capture their last memories as a family of four.

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Guys, toddlers are hard to photograph. You know this, I know this, but you don’t really feel the weight of that statement until you’ve invested in professional family photos and your child is onto you. The moment they realize that this is important to you, and they’re in control, there are not enough M&Ms in the world to get them to just “act normal,” whatever normal is.

I know this professionally, and I can now say that I know it personally as we have a toddler who was determined to flush our photo investment down the toilet with her tantrums and candy smiles (you know, when they finally smile but have red dye number 5 all over their mouth and they’re somehow simultaneously drooling blue). I’ve always had advice for my clients that sounds something like this: just smile no matter what, try not to talk too much so I don’t catch you mid-word, and RELAX because I swear they can smell your fear. It’s so hard when you spent way too long on your hair and makeup (guilty!) and money on clothes you might not wear again (guilty again!) – and especially when you have a Pinterest vision in your head of what you want your family photos to be (guilty x 3!) But I promise that the moment you let go of those expectations, you allow yourself to let the moment unfold into what it was intended to be. You aren’t models recreating a pose, you’re a real family documenting authentic moments and you’re capturing your toddler’s “I don’t want to look at the camera because you told me to and I want to do the opposite, but I kinda wanna see what that lady is doing over there and why she’s screaming like an idiot” face. Forget that I’m your photographer – from one mom to another, if you do these things and if you let go, I promise the product will exceed your expectations.

With all this lead up, you probably think I have some disaster of a session lined up to show you what will happen if you don’t follow my advice. Quite the opposite is true! These three showed up ready to play when Wyatt wanted to play, cuddle when he was tired and let him cry when he felt like crying…and quit when he’d had enough! I loved photographing them and hope that more families like them find their way to my camera. :)

I’ve decided that Wyatt is going to be set up with Winnie whether he likes it or not, so may I present my future son in law?

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Would you believe that this couple went to preschool together? Even better, their parents set up a carpool to take them to and from school. Ryan’s mom remembers Wendy kicking the back of the driver’s seat and chatting away in her car seat. That’s right, her mother-in-law remembers strapping her into a car seat. Their story cannot be beat.

Now grownups themselves, they’re the kind of parents we all want to be. They dressed up as Ninja Turtles as a family this past Halloween. They go on hunts for the best walking stick (classsssic kid move) with their eldest. And they listen, really listen, when their kids talk. I look up to them so much. Here are a few of my favorites from our time together!

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