Seashells & Colored Stones

Link Love : May // Taking a Summer Break

noreply@blogger.com (Caiti) — Fri, 31 May 2013 16:30:00 +0000

A Spanish Roadtrip by The Perennial Plate (I want to go back to Spain so badly!)

Link Love is a monthly series featuring my favorite links and bits around the interwebs.

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On Money, Work & the Pitfalls of Spiritual Entitlement via Elephant Journal
"We are rarely told that our chances of success are not equal to our level of desire, or even necessarily our level of talent. I truly wish this wasn’t the case. I wish I could tell every young person to follow their bliss and everything else would work itself out, but I think this is a naïve and potentially dangerous assumption. I never tell young people that they can make it as a writer simply because they love it and they are good at it. No writing career is ever guaranteed, no matter how passionate you are. Making it as a successful writer, like anything else, depends on many different factors, not excluding some amount of blind luck."

Under the E-Fluence: How I Broke the Cycle of Compare and Despair via Huffington Post
"My experience is that when I am in touch with my most authentic self, I am not engaged in the bottomless pit that is social media. When I am busy being myself, I am not looking over my shoulder to see what other people have or what they are doing or what they like. Some might call this "being in the present moment." When I am in this state of mind, I believe that whatever is meant to come will come (boyfriend or not, kid or not, job or not, new shoes or not)."

Information vs. Overload via The Equals Record
"... it really comes down to me, my browser, and my will power. Even a genius search engine and a fabulous curator can’t tell me when enough is enough, those extra slices are just giving me a stomach ache, and one more article is only going to tip the scale of my time in the wrong direction. There is enough incredible information in this world to fill lifetimes; it’s up to me to decide how much of it I can really handle in this one."

{Podcast} How to Live a Life Less Bullshit: Nicole Antoinette on the BSL Insider Podcast
Great podcast from the always inspiring Nicole in which she shares insight on how the stories we tell ourselves hold us back, using an alter-ego to achieve what we don't think is possible for ourselves, setting ourselves up for success in our pursuits, and more.

Pen & Ink : Tattoos and the Stories Behind Them
My favorite new Tumblr. "My tattoo was Step Three in a four-step process of learning to trust myself and make increasingly permanent decisions while simultaneously breaking bad news to my mother." - MJ Craig

What a Trapped Bird Teaches Us About Where We Want to Go via Fast Company
"It made me think of the way so many of us live our lives. We can see what we want, and nearly kill ourselves trying to get it in a way that’s not working. Meanwhile, if we just stopped, got quiet for a minute or two and looked at things a little differently, we’d notice the door to what we want being held open for us by the nice lady in the bathrobe across the room. Then all we’d have to do is fly through it. Oh, the drama we create for ourselves!"

Identity-Based Habits: How to Actually Stick to Your Goals This Year via James Clear
"If you want to get motivated and inspired, then feel free to watch a YouTube video, listen to your favorite song, and do P90X. But don’t be surprised if you burn out after a week. You can’t rely on being motivated. You have to become the type of person you want to be, and that starts with proving your new identity to yourself."

Destination | Maldives via Dustjacket Attic
I WANT TO GO TO THERE.

Seeing a Whole New World Through the Power of Words via Positively Positive
"As children, we were taught to never look at, touch, or address another person in a way that would make them feel small. If I were to walk by a beggar in the street and casually toss him a coin, I would not be practicing Genshai. But if I knelt down on my knees and looked him in the eye when I placed that coin in his hand, that coin became love. Then and only then, after I had exhibited pure, unconditional brotherly love, would I become a true practitioner of Genshai.”

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Offline Loves: San Diego weather, tacos, In-n-Out animal style cheeseburgers (sans tomato), neon pink toenails, officially declaring this The No Pants Summer, striped dresses, new baby succulents, my two adorable and hilarious nephews, reading Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg, the local farmer's market starting up again, The Fresh20 cookbook making meal planning and weeknight meals SO EASY, and finally getting cracking on a few goals I've been putting off.

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Note: Inspired by Amy's summer break from blogging, I realized I could really use a full vacation from social media myself. I've been talking about doing a lot of different things that haven't happened yet for one reason or another, and I know the time I'm distracted by social media has been a big factor. I'm dissatisfied with how I'm handling my time, and for me, the first step in getting back on track is freeing up my schedule for the most important priorities. I've already cleaned out my blog roll to only my 20 favorite reads (I downloaded a backup of my RSS feeds first so I can restore my full blogroll in the future, if I want), I organized some Twitter lists, and reduced the number of people I follow on Instagram. I'll probably still post regularly to Instagram and occasionally Twitter, but I won't be blogging. And on that note, I'll see you in September-- refreshed and refocused, with lots of new content!

Keep your eyes on your own fries.

noreply@blogger.com (Caiti) — Mon, 13 May 2013 21:30:00 +0000

Seemingly out of nowhere, I noticed myself referencing certain details of my past over the past few weeks-- where I went to undergrad and grad school, my majors, previous employers. I've even noticed myself doing this in recent blog posts to an extent. Most of these topics have come up naturally, especially when meeting new people, but I got the itching feeling that there was something more to my recent desire to highlight my résumé.

When I asked myself why I wanted to focus on these details of my past, I realized that it was all about the ego. Not necessarily in a too-big-for-my-britches braggart way-- my flagging self-confidence would never allow for real boasting, but I can't deny there hasn't been a touch of humblebragging going on.

The fact is that I went to two amazing schools, both of which consistently rank among the top five programs in the US for my specific majors. I was surrounded by skilled, ambitious, and hungry people for six years. And what showed up as impostor syndrome while I was a student ("I don't belong here among all this talent!") has now turned into a badge of honor now that I made it through the rigorous programs.

It's no surprise that my talented classmates have turned into talented professionals. Given that this area of study tends to lead to careers in the public sphere (and is only amplified by social media), I have been witness to more and more of their successes, a few of which include:

- A prominent lifestyle blogger who just got her first book deal.
- A news anchor in a metropolitan market who won a few regional Emmys for his reporting.
- A web producer for the style section of a top US newspaper who recently attended the White House Correspondents Dinner and met a boatload of celebs.
- An advertising copywriter that just had a hilarious ad go viral that will likely lead to a new job for him.
- A director of social media for a major communications firm who is writing her first book and regularly appears as a correspondent on local news segments.
- An actress appearing in commercials that air during the Oscars and starred in a music video for a popular band's first hit single.
- A photographer shooting editorials for Rolling Stone and album covers for the likes of Kelly Clarkson and Frank Ocean.

These people were friends and acquaintances. Some still are. While I'm so happy for their success, I can't help but want to throw myself onto the floor and moan about how I seem to be falling short and how my life pales in comparison with theirs. It's no surprise that I noticed myself bringing up my own accolades around the same time that all the hard work of my classmates has led them to their own successes. I hardly felt the need to mention it when we were all newbie graduates fighting to forge our own path. Now there's a little bit of an impudent-yet-actionless "I could do that if I wanted to" attitude.

But here's the Stupidest of Stupid Things: When I ask myself if I really want what they have, my gut immediately shouts a resounding, "NO!" Well, it would have been my dream to meet Amy Poehler, and I do want to write a book someday, but certainly not about styling and throwing chic soirées or how to use social media. And while I loved my time in school, I've learned that I don't love my major as much in a professional or corporate capacity.

I'm comparing myself and my work to these high achievers simply because they are in more public positions than I am. I'm sure there are dozens of my fellow classmates who have quietly gone back to school, changed careers, taken time off to raise their children, or quit their jobs to travel the world-- all of which are things that appeal to me greater than the public life and accomplishments of my aforementioned classmates.

There's been so much written lately on how social media makes us depressed about our own lives or makes us feel bad that our own existence isn't as pretty or perfect as what we see online. This conversation sort of annoys me because it seems to suggest the fault lies within the blog world or specific networks like Facebook or Instagram. No-- the onus is on you to choose your feelings and examine why you're triggered, online or otherwise, and assess the role of social media in your life. It's ridiculous to expect someone to reveal the negative side of their lives just to make you feel better or more secure. Do you really want to see people posting a Facebook status about how much they hate their boss or Instagramming a photo in the middle of a fight with their husband? Would that make you feel better about yourself? I certainly hope not.

I share the good moments because I'm happy and I want to share in that happiness, not because I want to make my friends and social media followers jealous. And if I am going through something challenging, I'll sometimes share that because I'm looking for support or connection, not because I want you to know how "real" I am.

I'm now realizing I need to apply this healthy and balanced view of social media to the feelings I've had around my own career path and the successes of my former classmates. The mantra I can use to best sum up my attitude is, "Keep your eyes on your own fries." This was a phrase a high school teacher of mine used during exam time, but it also applies so well to life.

My career path thus far has been full of false starts, detours and sometimes driving alone in the dark while only being able to see as far as my headlights shine. I've worked in cafes, taught college classes, slaved away at an advertising agency, assisted law professors, and worked "client-side" in professional services marketing. Over the past year and a half, I've put the time and the effort to cut back my expenditures so that I don't have to work in an office job at the moment. I have been able to live in Ireland for six months and travel Europe while doing freelance graphic design work and running an Etsy shop for wedding invitations and other paper goods.

Because I haven't been keeping the focus on my own journey, I have let myself feel so much shame around my alleged lack of a "real" career. There's not many things I dislike more than having to answer the question, "What do you do?" I know I often tend to shrink when answering it. The comparison game leads me to label myself with a lack of traditional success, not enough income/too much dependence on my husband's income, and less professional accomplishments than my peers. Then, mix in a dose of first-world guilt and a heaping spoonful of societal expectations, and you have my brain on careers.

Yet, when I keep my eyes on my own fries, I see a life centered around my values. I have the flexibility to travel/move to another country(!) when the opportunity arises. I have the chance to engage my creativity everyday and grow myself as a creative person outside the limiting constructs of modern corporate environments. I have the time to focus on wellness and am far healthier than when I worked in traditional offices. Though I don't know exactly which direction I'll go, I see options and possibility in my future, instead of the same thing day after day, year after year. If we're able to have kids at some point, I will be able to be home for them while also continuing my side gigs.

There is nothing in the previous paragraph that sounds disagreeable or shameful to me. So I'm putting away the yardstick I using to compare myself to others' paths-- especially since what others are doing is rarely something I want for myself.

In writing this whole post, I'm reminded of a time during our travels when Mark and I took a chauffeured ride up to Piazzale Michelangelo in Florence, Italy, with a few fellow guests from our hotel. In exchanging pleasantries with the other passengers, I immediately began dreading the inevitable "What do you do?" question, and I was relieved when they focused on my husband's (real/professional) job and how it brought him to Ireland. Later, after we'd gotten to know each other a little better (and had a glass or two of champagne), it circled back to me, and I decided to be completely open and not be ashamed of my lack of a "real" job-- "Me? I'm a freelance graphic designer and writer, but mostly I'm fully taking advantage this travel opportunity with Mark and enjoying the living heck out of Ireland and Europe." And then, to my surprise and delight, my new friends clapped and cheered for me, and told us they deeply admired our enthusiasm to make the most of traveling while we're young. The fear I have of judgement and the comparisons between what's a "real job" and what's not are entirely made up in my own mind. In reality, people are happy when I am happy with myself.

Own your story. Repeat, ad nauseum: Keep your eyes on your own fries. And then get to work!

(PS - Ashley wrote about comparison today, specifically in regards to creating, making your ideas happen, and avoiding "brain crack." It's a great post, and I'm thinking a lot about it as a compliment/continuation of my feelings in this post.)

(PPS - Nicole wrote about changing your story regarding "not being a real ____." Seeing as I mentioned my freelance work as not being a "real job" at least a few times above, I think Nicole's post also came at just the right time.)

Wordless Wednesday : La Boqueria

noreply@blogger.com (Caiti) — Wed, 08 May 2013 22:30:00 +0000

Mercat de Sant Josep de La Boqueria
Barcelona, Spain | September 2012

Goodbye, April. Hello, May.

noreply@blogger.com (Caiti) — Wed, 01 May 2013 16:00:00 +0000

May Desktop Calendar via Oana Befort

I skipped out on my April intentions post, but it ended up being quite nice to have a free-form month that acted as a reset button, or-- perhaps more accurately-- a pause button. I didn't have the best track record for my March health-centric goals, so I used April as a chance to catch up on what I'd missed.

The best bits of April included:
1) The welcome arrival of some beautiful weather (finally)-- 73 degrees, sunny, breezy.
2) Going to see Michael Pollan give a lecture at a local college. He is one of my food activist heroes and hearing him speak in person was really inspiring.
3) Going out for sushi for the first time in a LONG time. Mark and I have certain cuisines that are reserved for specific seasons (such as Indian in the fall/winter, BBQ in the summer). For sushi, one of our favorite foods, we try to wait until the weather is at least 70 degrees, which happened a few weeks ago.
4) Re-painting our office/spare room from a boring tan/latte color to Benjamin Moore's Iceberg, a light smoky blue-gray. I love it! As of a few days ago, we've been in our condo for 5 years now, and our bedroom and spare room have remained embarrassingly unfinished. I am excited to get them liveable before the end of the year.
5) Healthy eating! I think the warmer weather made me eager to eat green veggies again. On the menu, there has been lots of smoothies (made with my newly purchased maca powder), veggie fritattas, pestos, salads, stir fry, etc.
6) Getting my back/hip injury checked out. I don't know if the particular doctor/regimen I'm working with right now is helping, but it feels really good to have taken the first steps to getting my pain under control. I will probably be seeing a physical therapist for a second opinion soon.
7) Buying myself pink tulips.
8) Going to a Chicago Wolves hockey game with Mark and his best friend, who recently came home from Afghanistan, where he was working as a civilian contractor. We're glad to have him back safe and sound for good!
9) Iced coffee. LOTS of it.
10) Taking a nap in the park under a tree. A perfect way to spend an afternoon.

I'm really excited for May. The weather should continue to be awesome, and we have a trip planned for Arizona and California in a few weeks. We are both feeling a bit wanderlusty after getting used to traveling somewhere almost every weekend when we were living in Ireland, and we haven't gone anywhere since we've been home. Yep, major #firstworldproblems.

As for my theme for May, I plan to focus on Creativity. This includes:
- Starting the Artist's Way by Julia Cameron (which emphasizes morning journaling, which I want to make a habit)
- Taking a ton of photos in AZ/CA
- Sketch out some new wedding invitation designs for my Etsy shop now that I have a better idea of what's selling/popular.
- Sticking to my newly created weekly schedule. I've realized that unscheduled time is often wasted with me, so I'm going to see how a routine works to help my productivity. I also need to brain-dump a list of non-creative/non-fun tasks I need to do for my creative projects (things like organizing my Photo folders, backing up my computer, editing photos, etc) so that I can DO these things when I have spare time, rather than falling down an internet black hole.

For my book pick of the month, I plan to read Creative Inc. by Joy Cho and Meg Mateo Ilasco, though I'm currently looking for additional recommendations for books about creators/makers/artists/writers, either memoirs or books about the creative process (moreso than the business of creative work).

Happy May!

Link Love : April

noreply@blogger.com (Caiti) — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 12:00:00 +0000

Roadtrip USA by Mike Matas

Link Love is a monthly series featuring my favorite links and bits around the interwebs.

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Does Facebook Want You to Miss Your Life? via Accidental Creative
"I’m more concerned that we are training ourselves that momentary boredom is a travesty, and must be remedied by digital entertainment. In following the Ping are we losing our capacity to be here, now, in the moment? We often skim across the surface of our life experiences like a skipping stone rather than being present and mining those experiences for wisdom and insight. Everything is familiar, but we know less."

40 Inspiring Workplaces of the Famously Creative via Buzzfeed
Nigella Lawson's study is my ultimate fantasy. Can you say book hoarder? Virginia Woolf's is also appealing, though in the completely opposite way.

These Are the Lines of a Story via The Actual Pastor
"All our lives, our bodies manifest evidence of an existence marked by gains and losses. We gain and lose pounds, muscle, bruises, teeth, and hair. We lose elasticity and gain wrinkles. We gain scars. Our bodies process and carry our experiences, not without complaint, but with an unfailing perseverance that is worthy of both gratitude and honor. And one of the very great privileges of this life is to cherish the bodies of those I love through all their gains and losses for as long as I get to have them."

Is it Possible to OD on Personal Growth? via Positively Present
"Take a break from time to time. Be un-coached for a while. Let the fields of self-actualization lie fallow for a season. Ask yourself what you think instead of your girlfriend or guru. Read a novel for a change. And then, the next time you walk into a seminar, take a course, or open a personal growth book, you’ll be coming from a place of fullness instead of emptiness."

A Mountain I'm Willing to Die On via Momastery
"The problem is always me and the solution is always me. If I want my world to be less vicious, then I must become more gentle. If I want my children to embrace other children for who they are, to treat other children with the dignity and respect every child of God deserves, then I had better treat other adults the same way. And I better make sure that my children know beyond a shadow of a doubt that in God’s and their father’s and my eyes, they are okay. They are loved as they are. Without a single unless. Because the kids who bully are those who are afraid that a secret part of themselves is not okay."

Energy Leaks + Enlightenment via Positively Present
"Every time you make REPEATED contact with aggravating tasks and situations, you make a conscious or unconscious choice to endure (the root of the word endure is “to suffer”) and to settle with less than ideal."

Citygram Magazine by Chris Perez via Kickstarter
While I'm not an Austinite, the concept of this magazine is so exciting to me. If you watch the video, it demonstrates an integration of digital content with the hyperlocal. Given my background in journalism and advertising, I think about the effects globalization, the internet, and social media connectedness have on our local communities, businesses, and media (such as city newspapers and magazines). I do not want to see local businesses fail because we spend so much time in a digital sphere where location doesn't matter as much and national or online brands hold more of our attention. This is an interesting approach to integrate technology into local content, and I'm hoping to see this project come to fruition, and potentially spread to other cities.

Celebrating Kindness.

noreply@blogger.com (Caiti) — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 12:00:00 +0000

In an effort to place more attention on love than fear, I've been mentally collecting my own round-up of "helpers" (as Mr. Roger's would say) and other sources of light and inspiration in my life. There are so many genuinely good people out there if you keep your eyes open for them. I'm trying my best to acknowledge and thank them whenever I can! As I mentioned in my last post, I want the ripple effect of kindness to keep spreading and growing.

- A few years ago, my husband and I went out to dinner to celebrate our anniversary. We were happy, enjoying wine and seafood and reminiscing on the past few years. An elderly man was seated alone at the table next to us, and I could tell he was eavesdropping on our conversation given his smiles in our direction. At the end of the meal, he leaned over and asked us what we were celebrating. When we said our anniversary, he said enthusiastically, "That's so wonderful!" and offered to buy us dessert.

- My upstairs neighbor volunteers constantly at the local animal shelter, and she always has a rotating cast of foster animals. Most recently, she's been hosting the sweetest little Cocker Spaniel named Lady, who I got to pet and kiss last week, and it made me ridiculously happy.

- My husband's uncle left his wallet in a cab in Chicago a few months ago. Just a few days later, he received a package in the mail. Someone had found his wallet and mailed it back to him.

- From the day I left for college until the day I graduated, my step-grandparents sent me a $50 check on the first of the month to help me with my bills. That generous and consistent gift helped me out so much throughout my school days.

- There was a guy at my grad school who would stand out on the quad with a sign that read, "Free Hugs." I took advantage of his hugs on more than one occasion, and was always glad to see others stop and give him high-fives or hugs as well. There's something that's just nice about a random and casual hug between strangers. And you're not really strangers after a hug; it makes the world feel a little bit more friendly.

- My husband Mark is an inspiring role model for random acts of kindness. He's paid for tolls for the cars behind us on the highway; he's opened a bag of snacks to share with a homeless man who asked him for money on his walk back from the grocery store; he's run outside in the middle of a snowstorm to help push a stuck driver out of a snowbank in front of our condo; he wrote thank you letters to both our senators for supporting the recent gun bill (including Republican Mark Kirk!) and asking for their continued support in pushing for progress; and he recently played in a charity hockey game to raise money for the Inner City Education program in Chicago.

I'm sure I could go on, but these are the ones that stand out in my mind right now. Each one of these people inspire me to look at how I can be more generous and kind to others, especially in bolder ways than I already do.

If there are any kind people you'd like to share a story about in the comment, I'd love to hear about them! Share the light and spread some love :)

Be Soft.

noreply@blogger.com (Caiti) — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 12:00:00 +0000

“Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.” ― Kurt Vonnegut

I once read an article in which an author (it might have been Elizabeth Gilbert?) described two words she had tattooed on her wrists. One wrist read, "Fear"; the other, "Love". To her, they represented what all of our choices, thoughts, and actions boil down to-- we either act out of love or we react out of fear. Her tattoos were a reminder to herself to choose love.

I acknowledge that life is often more nuanced than that. As Donnie Darko says, there's a whole spectrum of human emotions and you can't dump everything into two categories and ignore the rest. Yet I still tend to agree with the tattooed author; I think there is a lot of truth in this duality. Even though there may be great variability and nuance between different emotions, their roots are often intertwined, sprouting from one of these two seeds. For example, hatred and racism are clearly fear-based, non-loving attitudes that are destructive forces in our society. Also destructive is the shame we feel about expressing vulnerability, the self-deprecating way we talk about ourselves that comes from a fear that we aren't good enough, or the risks we don't take out of fearing the unknown or failure.

The same goes for love; there are a hundred different shades. My love for my husband is obviously different from my love of dark chocolate which is different from the love I feel when I'm hiking through nature with the sun shining down on my face. However, they all come from a place inside me which recognizes with benevolent gratitude that I am a part of this world, just like everybody else, trying to make the best of my time here. Happiness, respect, joy, kindness, empathy and compassion are all different branches of this same source.

I'm thinking a lot about this love vs. fear concept in the aftermath of the Boston marathon bombings. Like most others, I'm deeply affected by massive tragedies and stories of people hurting other people, which is only amplified by my sensitive nature. I think I cried for 4 days straight after the Newtown shooting. It is impossible for any of us to try and understand the mindset of the people that carry out these horrific crimes.

Unfortunately, some people try to make sense of or avenge for tragedy in their mind by generalizing and stereotyping. In trying to comprehend a world in which terrible things happen, some people have been posting horrible Facebook statuses painting all Muslims with broad (and ugly) brushstrokes, or commenting about how much better off we'd be if more people were armed. I read horrible news stories about Islamophobia, harassment, and attacks aimed at people with brown skin who hadn't done anything wrong.

This ripple effect hurts me almost as the events that caused it (not at all to belittle the deceased and injured, which is of course a tragedy in the first place). I have been disheartened by the people I see reacting from a place of fear. I understand their impulse to protect themselves from a scary world, but I don't see that as a viable solution. We will never solve any problem if we are acting from a place of fear and putting forth an us-against-them attitude, especially if we teach this attitude to the next generation-- children will mirror our current behavior back at us. I think about issues like bullying or gun violence, and I know that solutions to these problems do not come from a hardened heart and a tough exterior.

I really believe kindness and love is the only solution, both to cope with these tragic events as well as to move forward into the future with progress and peace. That's why I was so happy to see so many news reports coming from Boston about people's acts of compassion and bravery. Stories of runners continuing to run on to the hospital to donate blood, people opening up their homes to anyone needing a place to stay, people sharing cell phones and giving away the coats off their backs, people rallying to help from around the world. I wish we could hear these stories on the news more often to remind us of our interconnectedness and humanity.

The best thing we can do in response to tragedy, and in our daily lives, is love fiercely and outwardly through whatever medium that is most effective for us. We should speak compassionately and kindly with those whose views differ from our own, and lend a helping hand to someone in need. You never know what a kind gesture, or even a simple smile, could do for another human. Let's do this everyday, not just in times of need. Let's continue to make a ripple effect of kindness that will spread to those we love, and then to those they love, and on and on.

On the evening after the Boston attack, a family member expressed their relief that Mark and I, in a city 1,000 miles away from Boston, were not going to a sports game in Chicago because they'd worried about us being in an arena for fear that something might happen. Again, while I understand where this sentiment stems from, that is not how I am going to live my life. Something could happen at any time. There are always a million excuses I could make to avoid travel or getting outside my comfort zone. I will not harden my heart or be frightened into closing myself off from the world, new experiences, and new people. I will not sit on the sidelines because I might get hurt in the game. Yes, outside the four walls of my condo exists some scary things, but I believe the beauty and the goodness far outweigh them, and I refuse to give up being an active part of that. I choose love.

Loving Lately : April

noreply@blogger.com (Caiti) — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 15:00:00 +0000

In Audio // Lord Huron - Lonesome Dreams. This album is really great from start to finish, and I think anyone who is a fan of Fleet Foxes or My Morning Jacket will enjoy their sound. I'm trying not to listen to it too much right now because I think it'd make perfect road-tripping music for this summer when paired with open roads and the windows rolled down. My favorite songs: Ends of the Earth (looooove it) and The Ghosts on the Shore.

In Visuals // YouTuber EmilieofNewGloom. At some point over the last two months, I fell into a rabbit hole on YouTube (it's so easy to do!). I came across some YouTubers who weren't just uploading funny cat videos or telling me how to put on eyeshadow, but were posting beautiful, honest, and refreshingly creative vlogs and, dare I say, short films (I thought "short films" were reserved for Vimeo!). EmilieofNewGloom is a newly graduated filmmaker, and her videos are lovely, whether they be vlogs, videos promoting a charity as a part of the Vlogbrother's Project for Awesome, or behind-the-scenes/making-of videos for her film The Water's Fine. Emily also has a second channel with her friend Jamie called Daughterland detailing their preparation and move from Canada to England.

In Food // Salted Brown Butter Rice Krispie Treats. I'm typically not a fan of sweets unless they're in chocolate form, but homemade Rice Krispie treats are totally nostalgic for me. Mark and I had the brilliant idea to try making a grown-up version of them with brown butter and topped with sea salt... and then I saw Smitten Kitchen had already done that, like five years ago (of course!). We made them two weeks ago, and dang they're good. We dipped a few in dark chocolate ganache (as seen on my Instagram) but I honestly preferred it sans chocolate because I could taste the salt and the rich nuttiness from the brown butter better.

In Writing // Amy & Roger's Epic Detour by Morgan Matson. After reading and completely loving the YA novel The Sky is Everywhere last year, I sought out other similar books and kept seeing this one pop up as a recommendation. I read it over a few days and enjoyed it (though not as much as The Sky is Everywhere). As the title suggests, this is about two characters who go on a cross-country road trip, but end up taking a massive detour, both physically and emotionally. I loved the way that the road-trip is the setting for the characters' emotional journey, and I identified with a lot of the characters' challenges, such as forgiving yourself for past mistakes, not running away from your problems, and facing an unknown future. The book incorporates Amy's scrapbook of sorts with photos, receipts, travel journal entries, and playlists, so you kind of feel like you're riding along with the characters. It would make a fun (and super easy) summer read. (Of course, I recommend The Sky is Everywhere more enthusiastically, if you haven't read it, as the writing and the depiction of grief is stronger, in my opinion.)

Link Love : March {Belated Edition}

noreply@blogger.com (Caiti) — Sat, 13 Apr 2013 12:00:00 +0000

A Holy Thing by The Perennial Plate on Vimeo.

Link Love is a monthly series featuring my favorite links and bits around the interwebs.
This edition is a little late given my blog hiatus, but these links are too good not to share.

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Looking Forward: Starting Over via The Equals Record

“Let’s start over,” someone suggested. “Let’s make tonight New Years Eve.”
So at midnight (actually, for honesty’s sake, it was 12:06), we toasted the New Year. It was February 24^th.
“Here’s to a wonderful year,” I shouted.

On Slowing Down (An Update) via Design For Mankind

Whenever I find myself saying, “I don’t have time,” I mentally re-word the phrase into “That’s just not a high priority for me right now.” Because I have the same 24 hours as you do and your neighbor does and the uncle who took you to your first movie growing up had. But our priorities are different.

The Secret to Connecting with People via Thought Catalog

Really, really listen to what they say, and recognize that they are saying what they’re saying because it is important to them. In every single thing every person says, they reveal what they value. When you can get a glimpse of what people value, you can see the humanity in them. And that is how humans connect: by understanding each other’s values.

Work-life Balance: How to Do Less and Live More via Kris Carr

For years, I had dreamed about taking a vacation with my husband, but something else always trumped our plans [...] Finally, even though the week landed in the middle of a crucial time for my company, we booked the tickets. Of course I was nervous about what would happen in my absence. But did the world explode? NO. My team actually thrived more without me.

The Best Blogging Advice I Have Ever Read via Ashley Riordan
As alienating as it sometimes seems, writing about your weirdness will make you more interesting to other people, and bring to your life the kind of people who will like you for being you. The internet does not need another top ten list of how to do something that is either common sense or so complicated that it cannot be solved with bullet points.

Feeling Lost and How It Can Help You Find Yourself via Tiny Buddha
Failing is what makes us grow, it makes us stronger and more resilient to the aspects of life we have no control over. The fear of failure, although, is what makes us stagnant and sad. So even though I couldn’t see the future as clearly as before, I took the plunge in hopes that in the depths of fear and failure, I would come out feeling more alive than ever before.

Offline Loves: Dark chocolate covered almonds from Trader Joe's, arugula salads, sunlight, long neighborhood walks, Mark's willingness to forgive me for acting like an idiot, the cheerful attitude of almost everyone around me now that the cold weather in Chicago is beginning to break, the mix of excitement and (good) stress over picking out my next book to read.

Starting Again.

noreply@blogger.com (Caiti) — Fri, 12 Apr 2013 12:00:00 +0000

Fog by FladagerPhotography on Flickr.

As posting grew less and less frequent on this blog over the past 2-3 months, I began to wonder if a new place to put my thoughts would be a welcome change. So I began a Tumblr, but as most Tumblrs go, I mainly use it as a place to collect images and quotes that resonate with me. It didn't feel quite right to post at length over there. So do I make a new blog? Just quit the internet altogether and write in a paper journal?

I'm an expert level procrastinator who knows that changing the resting place for my writing would not make much of a difference in the frequency in which I actually sit down and write. As a designer-y type of person I could re-design my blog monthly and still not get around to actually writing much of substance. So when I began to think about a new blog, I brushed off the idea. I've gotten my hair cut when I'm actually craving a deeper personal shift often enough to know that an outer change is not the same as doing the inner work.

But the decision to move forward with some blog housekeeping happened when I got a silly PR email about a new app and it referenced my blog as Caiti Did Designs, instead of Caitidid Designs. Not only did the bad grammar rub me the wrong way (I don't DO designs), but I was sort of touchy about the mistake. My grandfather, the one who just passed away, gave me that insect-inspired nickname when I was young, and I was annoyed that this random (albeit innocent) PR person messed it up. It hit me that I don't want to keep on using that name, especially if it is misunderstood or misinterpreted. That nickname means something different to me now that he is gone, and I want to keep it sacred and move away from using the moniker online.

So here we are. Sick with a cold, I laid in bed on Sunday and whipped up this new blog design, which greatly pleases my minimalist side. There are still a few things I want to change, like writing a new About page, organizing and linking categories properly, some image re-sizing for the thumbnails, and displaying a whole post on the main page instead of just a snippet (but I don't know how to change this and I don't really mind it, so it might remain). I'll get those things done in due time.

I'm also changing my domain to my own name (just trying to figure out some technical issues as we speak). This scares me, as I'm so publicly attaching my name to my blog and online life. In fact, when I first started thinking about Blog 2.0, I wanted to go completely anonymous-- start a new blog detached from my name and this site so that I could write what I wanted to write and "trim the fat" in terms of inactive readers that wouldn't care to follow me over a new blog. I even went so far as to Google audit myself, deleting old profiles on networks I don't use and taking my last name off of my main social networks so I'd be harder to find. But (obviously) this was just a form of me wanting to hide and protect myself from feeling too exposed, which is destructive behavior for anyone who wants to create and write and photograph and grow. It's a reaction that runs parallel to the decision-making issues I wrote about yesterday. It's like the proverbial tree falling in a forest-- I may be taking action, but if I create something and no one's around to experience it, did I really do anything at all?

I'm coming out of a period of feeling sort of misunderstood by people around me. Instead of continuing to be myself and pursue my goals regardless of what others think, a process that would likely lead others to understand me even better over time, I've withdrawn from both doing the work and putting myself out there. I observed it as it was unfolding, and luckily I have enough self-awareness at this point in time to pull myself out of this hermiting habit. It's a slow course-correction, but at least I've got it (more) under my control.

It's hard for me to bridge the gap between what's going on inside my brain (read: A LOT) and the perceptions of those around me. If only they could climb inside my brain, then they'd understand! But such is the curse of the introverted over-thinker. But if writing and photography and art help me to give others a glimpse of what's inside, then I need to and want to keep working towards that goal. It's one of the things I love about the internet-- blogs, vlogs, the sharing of art and thoughts all give me the opportunity to connect with and get to know others in a completely different way than if we were hanging out at a party together, especially since I can be quite reserved with personal and emotional details until I'm comfortable around someone. I love that feeling of "me, too!" when I read a post that resonates with me, and I want to be a part of that connection and exchange. So, I'm back at it again, and I'm bringing more of myself to the process.

Some of you may wonder about the title of this blog 2.0 that's on my new header. I knew I wanted a reference to nature since it's the one thing that never fails to make me feel fully alive. I brainstormed several names, the majority of which were already in use around the web, but when I read the Osho quote below, something clicked for me.

"Life is purposeless. Don′t be shocked. The whole idea of purpose is wrong - it comes out of greed. Life is a sheer joy, a playfulness, a fun, a laughter, to no purpose at all. Life is its own end, it has no other end. The moment you understand it you have understood what meditation is all about. It is living your life joyously, playfully, totally, and with no purpose at the end, with no purpose in view, no purpose there at all. Just like small children playing on the sea beach, collecting seashells and colored stones." ~Osho

As is probably obvious, I spend so much time thinking about purpose and meaning and the future and generally taking myself far too seriously. I think a lot of good can come from personal reflection, but I know I've taken a lot of joy and playfulness out of my life by carrying too many burdens and letting them weigh me down (emotionally and physically)-- so much so that I stop doing enjoyable things pretty much altogether. It's kind of a revolutionary thought for me to ask myself how I'd be in the world if I gave up the search for meaning and purpose, if I could just do and be without worrying about what it means or how an action appears to others. Because (surprise!) it really doesn't matter, and I'm learning how to take that to heart. Seashells & Colored Stones became the perfect name for my blog 2.0, and I hope that the phrase will be like a mantra for my life, too, reminding me to let go and enjoy the little moments, with the presence and joyfulness of a child.

Shades of Gray.

noreply@blogger.com (Caiti) — Thu, 11 Apr 2013 20:00:00 +0000

In doing quite a bit of offline writing in my journal, I’ve realized that so many of the questions I churn over in my head time and time again involve choices that lie on opposite ends of my mental spectrum.

Is it better to be interested in many topics, or is it better to focus on a niche and specialize?
Do I want to go back to school/focus on a new career path, or do I want to put all my energy into expanding our family?
Is it more beneficial to push yourself to do things you don't want to do for the sake of growth, or should you focus on pursuing only the things you naturally enjoy doing?
Do I continue to grow my Etsy shop and increase graphic design skills because it makes me some money (even if it isn't a passion project), or do I head towards a new career, academia, or ___?

I placed these thoughts against each other, like heavyweight boxers in a ring where only one can come out victorious. The allure of a cut-and-dry, black-and-white decision is strong for me. I want the assurance of the "yes" or the "no," the "this way" or "that way," but this is something I rarely feel. I've have too many battles with regret, and they've left me scarred and tentative to fully commit to one side or another for fear of missing out. The opportunity cost, the road not taken, is a siren song that often leaves me frozen in place and unable to discern what direction is true north for me.

You know you have a serious problem making decisions when grocery shopping sometimes takes you two hours because you spend ten minutes staring at shampoo bottles or internally debating Skippy versus Jif. I can be so non-committal that I even created a new word for it (that I actually use in conversation)-- "may-per-probably-be-haps." I couldn't just pick one word to express my lack of commitment! < Insert all of the eyerolls. >

At best, I appear indecisive or a little unsure of myself. At the worst, I'm letting life pass me by because I'm afraid to choose.

I recently started seeing a chiropractor for some intense and expanding pain through my hip and back. The pain, the doctor told me, was from the significant amount of time I spend sitting at a desk, hunched over my books, keyboard and notebooks with poor posture. The solution? To limit to how much I sit, to stand up as much as possible, to do a series of exercises to strengthen my core, and to go for walks whenever I can.

Phrased another way, I'm being advised to get up off my ass, take a stand, strengthen myself, and move forward in my life. Hello.

In the past, I've flipped through the self-help book You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. A section of the book is devoted to explaining how physical ailments in the body are often a sign of unresolved emotional issues. For example, kidney stones could represent unresolved anger, or throat problems could mean you are holding back your voice. While it's almost too hippie-dippy for my analytical mind take seriously, I can't help but see the parallels between the ways in which I'm struggling mentally and the physical ailments I feel.

Much like the way that my weekly chiropractor appointments and prescribed hourly exercises will slowly build up my strength, I need to work on slowly strengthening myself emotionally so that I have the flexibility to know that I can bend and not break, that I can make awesome decisions and so-called mistakes and be able to celebrate both. I can't dwell on the past and how I've gotten myself to this point, a point that I'm often so judgmental and harsh to myself about. I can't predict how and where I'm going to be in the future, either. As much as I want there to be, there is no such thing as The Right Decision, or even The Best Decision.

There's only the The Decision That I Make. And by the fact that I made it, it makes it the right choice for myself at that point in time. We can always change course, take a breather, or turn down a different road as we continue to gain new information and grow.

“Life is not linear, it’s organic. We create our lives symbiotically as we explore our talents in relation to the circumstances they help to create for us.” ~ Sir Ken Robinson

My mistake has been forcing my choices into false dichotomies. How much more freedom and flexibility would I allow myself if, instead of either/or, I assumed there was an "and," a classic Venn Diagram-y overlap?

I can go back to school/pursue a new career and I can think about having a baby.
I can focus on a few important pursuits, and I can balance that out with times where I'm consumed with new projects and ideas.
I can work on my Etsy shop and I can look into new and different careers that I'm considering.

I can do it all... until I decide to do something else. There is no secret, inherent worth prescribed to one option over another, despite what my brain wants me to believe and despite what I may think other people think.

My new goal for myself is to live in the shades of gray, and to simply pay attention to what's in front of my headlights in the dark, to paraphrase what one of my favorite bloggers, Sarah at Pink of Perfection, wrote recently. This life isn't a screenplay, where every carefully planned-out scene reveals something deep and meaningful about our main characters and ultimately leads to a tidy ending and a moral to the story. Or maybe a life well lived is like that, but we wouldn't ever know it until the end (and who knows when that will be). I can already tell you that I don't want to get to my finale and reflect on a story about a person so paralyzed to make a decision that she literally made her ass numb!

So get up and go make a scene.

____________________

PS - In a spontaneous fit of inspiration, I re-vamped my blog top to bottom, including a new title and a soon-to-be new domain name. If you're on a RSS reader, click through to see the change, if you'd like (though it's still a work in progress). I'll have a lengthier post tomorrow about why I decided to make some changes and what they mean to me.

Winter into Spring.

noreply@blogger.com (Caiti) — Tue, 12 Mar 2013 20:00:00 +0000

On Sunday night, as I walked down Monroe across the Chicago River on my way to the theater, I inhaled the scent of wet concrete as pleasantly mild gusts of wind whipped my floral dress around my legs. I passed lumps of old gray snow, shrinking smaller by the minute. The air was thick with humidity from the afternoon rainstorm, causing the hair at the back of my neck to slowly transform into frizzy little ringlets that stuck to my dampened skin. Normally, this drives me absolutely insane, but on this night it felt like Spring was standing behind me, sweet breath on my neck, whispering, “I’m here.”

Today, not even two full days later, I woke up to freezing temperatures and a fresh white blanket covering up my Spring dreams. I don’t know whether Spring is just a big tease, or if Winter is a cold-hearted jerk.

This winter has been hard, and I’m more than ready to bring the season to a close. Not only was I coming down from the high of living in Ireland and traveling through Europe for months, but there have been deaths and sickness and family issues and All of the Feelings. I became quite the hermit, lacking the energy and motivation to do much of anything beyond basic daily routines. It was hard to think about being around people or doing anything fun when you feel like the love child of Sad Panda and Eeyore. Even more, after being admittedly spoiled by Ireland’s temperate climate and beautiful landscape, I’ve been restless and frustrated that my suburban Midwestern existence affords little opportunity for hiking or being surrounded by nature, especially in January and February.

Even though Winter keeps showing its ugly face, each little peek at Spring has been a promise, a quiet voice saying, “It will get better.” Sunday’s rain and fresh, breezy air. A rare bright blue sky. The birds’ singsong. The first buds appearing on naked tree branches. When 5pm seemed noticeably lighter out, and then 6pm.

These moments have thawed me just enough that I can see through the mental fog. I’ve always believed that if something in our lives isn’t working, we have the power to change it. But sometimes, when you’re in the thick of it, determining how and what to do can seem daunting and tiresome in itself. The promise of Spring reminded me that any dark period we go through will end.

With thoughts of a new season filling my head, I’ve been trying to incorporate as many little actions as possible into my daily life to help me crack through the cold and darkness. I stop and admire the bunches of tulips on my way in to Trader Joe’s. I’ve been ordering iced coffees no matter the outdoor temperature because they taste like Spring and Summer. I rearranged our furniture so that my desk now faces out a window, making my workday much more pleasant. I crack a window for some fresh (but chilly) air, even if I can only tolerate it for 15 minutes. I take a walk around the neighborhood whenever the sun is shining. I ordered the Spring 2013 issue of Kinfolk, and I can’t wait to escape to its ice cream filled pages soon.

It may not yet be Spring in Chicagoland, but at least it’s beginning to thaw. I’m beginning to thaw, and for that I am grateful.

Hello, March.

noreply@blogger.com (Caiti) — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 11:30:00 +0000

Hello March Desktop Calendar from Oana Befort

Sheesh-- How did it get to be March?! The short month always throws my mental calendar off every year.

My intention to focus on Connection in February went pretty well. I saw friends, got together with Mark's and my families on a few occasions, had some fun outings with Mark, and looked into some different volunteer opportunities, and I'll be attending training for one of them in March. I didn't make it to a Unitarian Universalist service, and I still sucked at sending out birthday and Valentine's cards on time/at all-- I'll try again this month! I completed the book The Five Love Languages, and it was definitely a beneficial read. It was interesting to see how Mark and I rank the five love languages in almost exact opposite order, so the book was a good reminder for me to practice expressing love languages that don't come as naturally to me. Overall, I came out of February feeling like I have a better sense of the balance I need between alone time and social time, and also how I can better show people how much they mean to me.

Looking towards March, Wellness will be my main focus. As we (hopefully) head into spring this month, I want to do some spring cleaning for my body as well!

To support my value of Wellness, my intentions are to:

Move well: Use a Groupon for a local yoga studio this month. Sign up for a tri-weekly group fitness class at my gym. Whenever the weather begins to clear up, incorporate daily walks into my routine, even if that just means a 10-minute walk around the block to clear my head during the workday, or a weekend hike. Stretch.

Eat well: Focus on simple, clean foods. Rotate between smoothies, oatmeal, and scrambled eggs with veggies in the morning. Continue with my Monday meal planning and Tuesday grocery shopping routine. Do basic prep of veggies and meals all at once after grocery shopping so that meal time is even easier. Figure out some healthy afternoon and pre-workout snacks.

Treat my body well: Schedule doctor appointment(s). Take my vitamins. Floss. Use the gift certificate I have for Thai massage and bodywork. Wash and moisturize my face every night (even if I don't wear makeup that day).

Be well: Read for fun. Journal when I'm feeling grumpy/stew-y/melancholic. Go to bed by 10:30. Do things I enjoy-- I've already signed up for a cooking class and a letterpress workshop.

Featured book of the month: Beauty Detox Solution by Kimberly Snyder
Nutritionist and beauty expert Kimberly Snyder helps dozens of A-list celebrities get red-carpet ready—and now you're getting the star treatment. Kim used to struggle with coarse hair, breakouts and stubborn belly fat, until she traveled the world, learning age-old beauty secrets. She discovered that what you eat is the ultimate beauty product, and she's developed a powerful program that rids the body of toxins so you can look and feel your very best.

(and if I finish that quickly, I'll read Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver)

Happy March!

Monthly Link Love : February

noreply@blogger.com (Caiti) — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 11:30:00 +0000

A Bird Ballet by Neels CASTILLON (thanks for the link, Mom!)

Monthly Link Love is a series featuring my favorite links and bits around the interwebs.

_____________________________

•How often do you stop and say, "I ADORE my life"?
• An interesting perspective to flip FOMO, the Fear of Missing Out, on it's head-- The Joy of Missing Out
• There are some incredible photos in the 2013 Sony Photography Awards.
• I'm just a little jealous of this little girl who grew up among African wildlife.
• Take a mini virtual tour of my adorable town (or come visit for real!). Hemmingway! Frank Lloyd Wright! Boutiques! There's something for everyone :)

• How to Induce a Flow State on Command
• "... the process of setting a goal and actually accomplishing it depends very little on talent or magic or circumstance and very much on creating rituals and habits that support simply showing up and doing the work over the long haul." via Lisa Sanchez, The Equals Record
• The importance of rest when you're working towards a goal
• Digital Detox. I identify with a lot of the issues brought up here, and I've taken steps to better utilize my online time (and not fill spare time with the "endless scroll").

• I find impermanent, natural-made artwork so interesting, and these snow pieces are so beautiful.
• Need some free icons for your website? Check out Entypo or Gemicon.
• A new company is offering a cute way to print Instagram photos.
• These photorealistic oil paintings by Lee Price are gorgeous. I don't go crazy over paintings too often, but I love this intimate (and relatable!) series.
• A sneak peek into photographer Brian Ferry's home
• I just watched every single one of these "Inside the Episode" clips of GIRLS. They're a little too brief for my liking, but I could listen to Lena talk for hours! I'll take whatever I can get.

• A 97-year-old runner provides me with some serious motivation to get to the gym! Love her spirit.
• My food philosophy has been shifting lately, and I adored this post so much-- Which diet is the best?
• Need some new smoothie recipes?
• I've been enjoying exploring these two new-to-me sites: Cook Smarts and Detoxinista (I just really wish their RSS feeds didn't show up as "click to read more" in my Reader, womp womp).
• I really related to this post about the connection between food and emotions when trying to pursue a healthier lifestyle.

Foodie Friday : Crock Pot Chicken Tortilla Soup

noreply@blogger.com (Caiti) — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 14:30:00 +0000

This recipe is a perfect insight into my cooking process. My internal monologue goes a little something like this:

"Oh, we have some chicken, and a jar of tomatillo salsa. Can I make something out of this?"
"You know what sounds good? White chicken chili."
< Looks up 17 recipes for white chicken chili online. >
"Not one of these recipes contain tomatillo salsa, and only one of them is made in a crock pot... I'd really rather use my crock pot since I'm seriously lazy."
"Hmm."
"Okay, most of these recipes contain chicken (duh), some sort of veggies, a bunch of spices, and some broth. That doesn't seem too hard. And bonus, I won't have to go grocery shopping first if I just use what I've got."
"You're not really considering winging this, are you?"
"LET'S WING IT."
[5.5 hours pass...]
"OMG, this tastes awesome. Tangy from the salsa, pleasantly spicy, perfectly comforting for a cold night."
"But, Caiti, I hate to point this out-- this isn't white chicken chili AT ALL. It's, like, not even white."
"It's okay, we'll just tell people it's Chicken Tortilla Soup!"

And done.

Crock Pot Chicken Tortilla Soup

Ingredients
2 large boneless, skinless chicken breasts (about .75 lb)
Salt and pepper (white pepper if you have it)
1 cup diced onion
1 (14 oz) can of pinto beans, drained
1 (4 oz) can of chopped green chiles
1 cup frozen corn (I used the fire roasted corn from Trader Joe's)
1/2 (14 oz) can diced fire-roasted tomatoes
1/2 (16 oz) jar of green tomatillo salsa
2 cups chicken broth (or vegetable/"Not Chicken" brand broth)
1 1/2 t. cumin
1 1/2 t. dried oregano
1/4-1/2 t. cayenne pepper
3/4 t. chili powder
2-3 T. jarred jalapeno slices, diced (optional)
To add halfway through cook time:
1/4 cup plain Greek yogurt
1/4 cup diced Monterey Jack cheese

Garnishes
Sour cream
Shredded cheese
Cilantro
Tortilla chips
Tabasco sauce

Instructions
Generously salt and pepper both sides of the chicken breasts (use white pepper if you have it). Place chicken in the bottom of a crock pot. Pour onions, pinto beans, green chiles, frozen corn and tomatoes over chicken (note: if you prefer a thicker consistency to your soups, you can choose to puree half the beans in a blender prior to adding them to the crock pot). Add all spices and jalapenos (if using). Pour chicken broth and green tomatillo salsa over the top of the chicken, vegetables and spices. If there isn't enough liquid to cover the ingredients, add up to 1 cup of water.

Cook on the Low setting for 5 hours. Halfway through cooking time, add yogurt and cheese, stirring to incorporate.

Optional: At the halfway point, you can choose to shred the chicken if the chicken is cooked thoroughly by this time. Using a meat thermometer, check that internal temperature of the thickest part of the chicken is at least 165 degrees. If so, remove chicken onto a plate. Let cool slightly, and then using two forks, shred the meat into chunks. Return the meat to the crockpot, and cook for an additional 2-3 hours.

When cooking time is complete, shred the chicken breasts if you haven't already, and return the chicken to the crockpot. Taste and adjust seasonings if necessary. Serve. Garnish each bowl of soup with any of your favorite chili/taco toppings.

Eat up. It may not be white chicken chili, but it's pretty darn good.

Fancy a Cuppa?

noreply@blogger.com (Caiti) — Tue, 19 Feb 2013 11:30:00 +0000

It's pretty common knowledge that I'm obsessed with tea. We have an entire 3-shelf cabinet in our kitchen devoted solely to loose leaf and bagged tea, plus a large Ball jar next to the stove where I keep all the random individual tea bags I've acquired. Tea has been my comfort drink of choice for several years, save the several weeks I spent trying (and failing) to like coffee. And I thought I was obsessed before, but then came six months in Ireland, where electric kettles come with apartment rentals and the day isn't complete without a cuppa (fun fact: Ireland has the highest rate of tea consumption in Europe, and is third in the world!). Now I'm even more entrenched in my tea-drinking habit.

Want to join me for a cup? Here are my current favorite teas, and all the best supplies for a perfect tea break.

Teas (from left to right)
Organic Detox Green Tea from David's Tea. This is my favorite green tea at the moment. It's not at all bitter, and has light notes of lemongrass, ginger and juniper berries, and contains moderate to medium caffeine levels (so you get a nice mild boost).
Moment of Calm - Orange Mango & Cinnamon Tea from Twinnings Tea. This caffeine-free tea is probably the most flavorful I've ever tasted (though I don't taste any cinnamon as the name suggests). If you've ever had hibiscus iced tea (which I order every time I'm at Big Bowl) or even Starbuck's passion fruit iced tea, this tea tastes very similar-- fruity, bold and refreshing.
True Blueberry from Celestial Seasonings. This is another fruity herbal tea. I tend to enjoy herbal teas since I'm easily affected by caffeine, and fruit teas help to curb my sweet tooth. Now, I hate fake blueberry flavor-- blueberry bagels are among the most vile carbs in existence-- but this tea tastes like actual blueberries. I drink it unsweetened, but I know some people like this one with a drop of honey.
Read My Lips from David's Tea. This is a black tea flavored with vanilla, peppermint, peppercorns and actual chocolate pieces that melt into your tea when you pour hot water over it. Oh, and some red lips sprinkles too! Despite it's dessert-like desciption, it's not overly sweet, just really yummy.

Necessities
Tea Strainer for loose leaf tea. Mark likes the mesh spoon kind pictured above, but I prefer the mesh cups that sits down in your tea (I use this one from Bodum). Either way, you want to make sure that there's room for the tea leaves to expand-- if you crowd your strainer too much, the leaves won't have room to expand and release all their flavor, and can lead to a bitter tasting tea (this is among the reasons I prefer the cup strainer).
A favorite mug. I love the antique feel of this hobnob-like beaded mug from Target. I often find myself buying random mugs from Target; they always have a great selection.
Electric Kettle by Cuisinart. An electric kettle used to seem like such a frivolity (why do I need a separate appliance for boiling water when I have a stove?) But, again, after using one multiple times a day in Ireland, I can say that they are wonderful. For Christmas, we got this kettle and it's FAB. It has 6 settings for different temperature teas (160° for delicate teas through boiling for black teas), a warming feature so it will keep your water at the selected temperature for a half hour, and it only takes a minute or two to reach the desired temperature. We even use it to heat up water more quickly when making pasta-- a technique I hadn't even thought of until I saw Jamie Oliver do it on his UK cooking show. Our previous stovetop kettle is long gone, and we're never looking back.
A tea cookie (or two). I enjoy Trader Joe's Triple Gingersnap cookies with tea, or their new Speculoos cookies, which are based off traditional Belgian speculoos (or Biscoff) cookies, and taste like the cookie version of TJ's infamous Cookie Butter. Both are perfect for dunking.
A good book. Another thing I like about tea is the ritual involved. Coffee always seems like it's so rushed, slurped down in a hurry for a bolt of energy before rushing off to a meeting. But tea takes time to fully develop; it wants to be savored. I love to take a moment during my tea breaks to sit and take a literal breather. Other times I crack open a book, especially when it's the kind of literature that is meant to sweep you into the story (as opposed to my frequent non-fiction/personal development book choices). Recently, I downloaded One Day by David Nicholls to my Kindle, which many people seem to have read and enjoyed lately, and The Secret Lives of People in Love by Simon Van Booy, which I know almost nothing about except that it's a collection of short stories on the topic of love from a new young writer.
A Perfect Cup of Tea Spoon from Harney and Sons. Of all the "necessities," this is probably the most unnecessary, but it is a sweet addition to the tea lover's collection. It measures exactly 1 teaspoon (and says "A perfect cup of tea" down the handle); if you don't want to splurge on this spoon, you can just pull out your usual measuring spoons.

Join me for a cup of tea in the comments! Are you a tea lover? What's your current favorite tea, or your favorite tea time edibles? What's your favorite tea shop? We recently got three David's Tea stores in Chicago, and I'm excited to stop in since I've only ever ordered online. I also have a Teavana gift card burning a hole in my pocket-- I've never shopped there either!

Creative Overwhelm, Again

noreply@blogger.com (Caiti) — Sun, 17 Feb 2013 11:30:00 +0000

Recently, I was the recipient of a free lot of beautiful hand-dyed ombre fabrics in a rainbow of hues. Conveniently, my grandma had also recently given me her old sewing machine. Put two and two together, and the wheels of my creative brain were immediately turning as to what I could sew out of these gorgeous fabrics. I'd settled on a quilt, and found some fresh modern designs that excited me. I'd even planned out a blog post to solicit opinions about which quilt design I should use.

And then I panicked.

How many creative projects have I talked about starting here on the blog? For every one I mention online, there's probably 3 or 4 more that I haven't even talked about publicly. And how many projects have you seen me share in their completed state?

(Spoiler: Not many.)

That thought bummed me out so much that I actually sat down and brain dumped a list of everything I've got going on and everything I'm interested in. The list quickly got so long that I broke it down into categories: Ongoing projects (Etsy shop, my blog, Project Life, writing, etc.), "educational" projects (improving my photography, trying film photography, etc.), single projects (granny square blanket, decorating the office and bedroom, etc.), non-active projects (art journaling, TTV photography, scrapbooking, etc.) and future projects (film and edit a video with my DSLR, create travel photobooks for Ireland and Europe, gardening, etc.).

This list of projects doesn't even include normal Real Life necessities like grocery shopping and cooking healthy food and exercising and and and remembering to take a shower or eat lunch before 2pm.

Are you anxious just reading that? Welcome to my life.

This isn't the first time I've noticed my short attention span and lack of follow through; I wrote a post on Stratejoy last year detailing what my creative life is like. As a person whose core values include "Creativity" and "Learning," I'm on a constant treadmill-- I keep busy with new ideas, but I never really get anywhere.

I said in my Stratejoy post that I had the goal to determine how I can balance my multiple interests in a healthy, productive way. My recent rainbow-quilt inspired meltdown was a wake-up call that I'm far from conquering this goal.

It's not surprising that these feelings of overwhelm around my projects are coming at the same time that I'm trying to minimize my home and belongings. Why can't minimalism be applied to my creative life too? Artists and makers sometimes have the tendency to hoard ideas and materials because we're afraid to limit our work by not having inspiration or the necessary supplies within reach when that bolt of creative genius strikes. Or we're afraid that we'll run out of ideas if we're not surrounded by inspiration.

But there's a fine line between inspiration and hoarding, and I want to stop the squirreling projects and supplies away. Just because I have all of these ideas and projects I want to do doesn't mean I have to actively work on them all right now. Even more, I'm recognizing that trying to do too much dilutes my efforts and skills with things that I truly care about and love; my true, unwavering interests have no space to breathe and grow. I'm so often distracted by the shiny and the pretty-- like the rainbow pixel quilt (have I mentioned that rainbow-colored anything will match exactly nothing in my house?) or whatever other random DIY I come across on Pinterest.

(Note to self: Also spend less time on Pinterest.)

This time I want to get serious about focusing and minimize my projects. It's easiest to start with the projects I'm not currently drawn to. I've gathered all my old art journaling supplies and books and I plan to box them up in the basement for a while. If I'm not compelled to pull them out over the next 6-12 months, away that stuff will go. It's uncomfortable to think about, since I've been published in magazines based on my journals. I almost feel like I should keep pursuing it since I've received some attention for my work, but that's hardly the right reason.

Project Life might be in danger too. Despite only starting Project Life last month, I can already see that I'm not in love with it. Right now, I have 5 or 6 half-finished layouts. Mark has made sweet comments about how he's glad I'm doing it, since we've had so many years together without any photos to depict our life. That feedback is hard to ignore, but so are my ambivalent feelings towards making layouts. I think I'm going to switch to digital because, hello, I was trained as a print/layout designer, and love to do that kind of stuff-- and I didn't spend a ton of money upgrading my Adobe software this year for shits and giggles! Finding my flow with Project Life might be as simple as going digital and printing a Blurb book at the end of the year. That would likely be more my speed, and take less time since I'm much more proficient with digital design than physical scrapbook-style pages.

(Update: I converted 5 weeks of spreads to digital on Friday, and it took maybe 2 hours, compared to the 15-ish hours for the physical spreads. And, more importantly, it was more fun for me. Yep, I think digital is the way to go.)

As for narrowing down the projects I want to actively pursue, it's actually really simple and touches on the areas that I mentioned in my newly re-focused "Loving Lately" posts-- good stuff to listen to, good photography, good food and good writing. My Tumblr has been a great exercise for examining what's really important to me. Take a look at a page or two and tell me if you're surprised when I say my dream life includes not much more than traveling through nature with just my camera, a notebook, and a good novel (with Mark by my side, of course).

All of this extensive babbling is to remind myself: Focus on what's important and forget the rest. I've learned how to simplify my personal fashion style, home decor, and even my diet, and it's been nothing but freeing. Why wouldn't it have the same effect on my creative life?

I can only hope that post isn't just another addition to the "Started But Never Finished" pile.

Eff Yeah! // Eff That. Vol. 2

noreply@blogger.com (Caiti) — Sat, 16 Feb 2013 02:30:00 +0000

Eff Yeah!
- This is the first year that Alt Summit, the design and lifestyle blogging conference, came and went without me feeling one pang of jealousy that I wasn't attending. In fact, I barely saw a peep about it in my Twitter feed-- which goes to show how I've unfollowed many lifestyle bloggers over the past year. In the past, I used to dream about attending, but I can sincerely say that I no longer desire to be a part of that sparkly and perfectly-styled world ;)

- Also on the topic of Alt, I love that some women are offering a refreshing perspective on the conference. Here is an insightful reflection on Alt by Jessika of Oh My Handmade. She speaks of the kind of conference I've always hoped to attend, and why I no longer feel pulled towards Alt specifically. "I think if Alt was less desire (sponsors, readers, luxury, things) and more about what we deeply deserve (creativity, connection, inspiration, support) that it could change the world of blogging and online creativity forever." Megan at The Fresh Exchange expressed a similar feeling in her recap: "When arriving at Alt I found a group of women searching. Searching for sponsors, connections, publicity, and maybe even a book deal [...] Watching all these talented ladies searching and “working it” made me personally question if this was a world I wanted to be in. I am not a sales person… I am a creative; someone that just wants to inspire and challenge myself." I personally found a really amazing creative community at Squam Art Workshops, which I hope to attend again this year, though it was obviously focused on art/writing/photography and not necessarily the business of creative work. Does anyone know of any other creative, inspiring gatherings/workshops/conferences?

- I had a belated birthday party/craft day with my family a few weeks ago, and I found it hilarious that every single birthday card I received had a cat on it. I can't tell if people just get me, or if I'm turning into a legit crazy cat lady. Tomato, tomahto. Related: I recently bought myself a mug from Target with a cat illustration on it and it brings me a great deal of happiness.

- I'm now the proud owner of a fully manual 35mm film camera from the 1960's! Some ladies buy shoes; I buy old cameras. I love the look of film photos and I haven't used film since my high school photography classes. I'm particularly pumped because the lens that came with it can also easily be used on my DSLR with an inexpensive adapter ring. I'm planning on lots of weekend hiking + photo adventures as soon as the weather gets a little warmer.

- On Sunday, I'm going with a friend to see Susan Cain, the author of Quiet, speak at a local college! I'm excited (though I haven't finished the book yet).

Eff That.
- I despise the way (some/most) insurance companies handle therapy/counseling. Upon looking into coverage, I discovered that counseling or therapy will qualify for coverage "if the expense is for medical care, and not just for the general improvement of mental health or relief of stress." What kind of language is that? 1) How is improving your mental health or relieving stress NOT "health care?" and 2) Wouldn't we be better off if people did use therapy to relieve stress and improve their mental health? 3) I hate that preventative measures are treated less seriously by insurance companies than diagnosed conditions. {See also: Said insurance will cover the fee for gym memberships if exercise is prescribed as part of a weight loss plan or for an injury, but not if the gym is for maintenance of health. I get it from a corporate/business standpoint, but it sucks in reality}.

- How insanely awful and misogynistic has some of the feedback been about last week's GIRL's episode?! I think the worst was the Slate article in which two dudes postured that it must have been a dream sequence because nowhere in the real world could someone who looks like Hannah/Lena Dunham hook up with someone who looks like Josh(ua)/Patrick Wilson, and suggested her comfort and assertiveness in their affair was out of line. I refuse to even link to it, it was so infuriating (and don't dare glance at the majority of the comments on any article about the episode). I'm okay with people not liking the episode since it was clearly a departure from the rest of the season's arc, but the body shaming is so unnecessary. I'm personally thankful for Lena and her body for helping to break stereotypes of the female form in the media, and agree with this response.

- I keep waking up in the middle of the night to find my cat sitting on my chest and staring me in the face. And this happens multiple times over the course of any given night. I can't tell you how disconcerting this kind of wake up call is. She's also returned to her habit of knocking over any and all glasses of water left on tables. Fuzzy jerk.

Wordless Wednesday : Birthday Flowers

noreply@blogger.com (Caiti) — Wed, 13 Feb 2013 16:00:00 +0000

2013: Year of the Honey Badger

noreply@blogger.com (Caiti) — Mon, 11 Feb 2013 11:30:00 +0000

My Patronus is a Honey Badger by EntropyTradingCo., $15

According to the Chinese zodiac, 2013 is the year of the Snake, which began yesterday, February 10th. To anyone who celebrates the Lunar New Year, I say Happy New Year!

However, I've decided I'm going to kindly ignore the year of the Snake and declare 2013 to be the year of the Honey Badger. Yep. This guy is my inspiration.

Why? Because honey badger don't care, honey badger don't give a shit. It just takes what it wants.

I could use a little bit of honey badger attitude in my life. Life is always easier when I let less things get to me, when I don't worry about what other people are thinking, and when I just let myself be me and not give a shit otherwise.

I think it's a great companion to my 2013 theme of "Courageous Truth." While the phrase "Courageous Truth" brings to mind an earthy, organic, yoga-doing hippie sun goddess who loves herself and the world (at least in my over-active imagination), I think the honey badger will bring a little fun, unapologetic confidence, and sasspot attitude to the equation. Because I know I can't be a living beam of sunshine all the time. Not even half the time.

2013 is a big year. I just turned 30. Mark and I will celebrate 10 years as a couple (holy shit!), and 5 years of marriage (seriously!?). We have a possible temporary move to Portland on the table, which is a place we've always hoped to end up someday. There's talk of the future, which could include kiddos (hopefully) and more international travel (certainly).

With all these big milestones on the horizon, it seems fitting for me to embrace more of a devil-may-care, honey-badger-don't-care attitude. Why not really sink into my skin and do the things I've always wanted or needed to do, while not giving a shit about what other people may think? Why not get a little more comfortable with getting outside my comfort zone?

(Let's not talk about the fact that it's taken me over 30 years to get to this point.)

In lieu of a "30 Before 31" birthday list, I've put together this Honey Badger List. Now, I don't necessarily think it's typical Honey Badger behavior to plan out a list of things to achieve over the course of the year. Honey Badger is much more likely to say in any given scenario, "Eff it, LET'S DO THIS," which is an attitude I'll also be trying to channel. But one thing I've learned in 30 years is that I can't run and hide from my over-planning nature, so I will work with it for now. Note: I'm not sharing 100% of my list publicly, as there are some things that are just better off kept behind closed doors ;)

In the Year of the Honey Badger, I want to:
- GET A TATTOO! (preferably a biggish one)
- Take photos somewhere I'm surrounded by a lot of people and bound to be stared at, or in a quiet public place where my camera shutter will seem deafening to me (because I need to get over being so self-conscious to draw attention to myself and my camera!)
- Travel somewhere alone
- Submit my artwork or writing to a magazine for publication consideration
- Regularly order the weirdest sounding thing on the menu
- Play hooky for a day/weekend and go somewhere fun
- See a therapist (I had been shamed about this by someone in the past and I've been sadly resistant to start going because of what they said to me/how they made me feel)
- Make a habit out of saying "yes"
- Go to several concerts, especially the ones where no one wants to go-- go anyways, alone! I've done that before, but I need to make it more of a habit
- Show up at the airport and fly to wherever the cheapest ticket will take us and spend the weekend there
- Consider taking part in Second City's "Improv for Anxiety" class/group (this is completely terrifying and I can't really imagine doing it... but that's sort of the point)
- Run a 5k race (I'm thinking the Color Run)-- provided my current hip issues allow me to train and run
- Take a dance class

Is there anything you'd like to do this year with a "honey badger don't care" attitude?
(You should totally do it! GET ON IT!)

10-Second Reviews

noreply@blogger.com (Caiti) — Sun, 10 Feb 2013 12:00:00 +0000

It's the middle of winter. I'm in dreary Chicagoland. There's nowhere to go, there's even less to do. The only solution: Read and watch movies and shows and listen to podcasts. Obsessively. Here's what I thought about what I've read/watched/listened to lately. (Thanks to Ashley for inspiring the format for this post and for several of the podcast recommendations! I love so many of the podcasts she recommends.)

Books
$100 Startup by Chris Guillebeau // So many people love this book, and I did not understand the hype. Too short on actual, applicable business advice. If you need a general cheerleader for starting your own small business, it might be a worthwhile read. 2/5 stars.

7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker // The concept: A woman decides to give up one area of excess each month (food, clothing, spending, etc.) for seven months to examine how excess plays into her family's life. It made me think, but it tried to cover too much in each area of excess. At the end of the book, I felt like the family didn't actually make any lasting, significant changes to their lives, so I wondered what the point was; it seemed a bit shallow and "first world" to go through this exercise only for the purpose of writing a book out of the experience. 2.5/5 stars.

Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson // I had high hopes for this book due to its popularity and my familiarity with Jenny's blog... and it let me down. I loved the core message of the book about how there is no normal and that the crazy/uncomfortable scenarios are what make us who we are. I loved how humor was used as a coping mechanism for physical and mental challenges. But Jenny really rambled. Some stories did a great job of connecting to the core message and her life story. Others felt out-of-place or filled with so many tangents and exaggerations that I questioned the point. Yes, this is part of Jenny's style, which works great in blog form, but I felt it became tiresome in a 300+ page book. It could have been stronger with more editing, IMO. I'll stick with being a fan of Jenny's blog, as I think her style translates better to short-form writing. 3.5/5 stars.

How to Be An Explorer of the World // A decent, quick read full of creative exercises and suggestions about how to engage your senses and become a collector (of words, images, sounds, things, etc.). I took a few notes from the book on suggested activities, but many of them felt just a little too silly or pointless. I'm glad I read it because I came away with a better sense of how I could keep my eyes open and observe the world around me-- I don't know many actual exercises I'll do, though. 3.5/5 stars.

(And a few reviews from last year that I've been promising...)

The Sky is Everywhere by Jandy Nelson // I ADORED this book, and it immediately made its way onto my "favorite reads" list. The story: A teen girl is dealing with the death of her older and much adored sister while navigating new relationships and who she is as a person without her sister's presence. It is definitely geared towards a YA audience, and is full of capital-F Feelings in all the ways you'd expect a YA love story to be. But the writing was fresh and colorful (the author was trained as a poet), the characters were complex, and the theme of grief and the loss of a loved one was unlike anything I'd read before. My favorite read from 2012. 5/5 stars.

Daring Greatly by Brene Brown // A really important book for me to read, as I struggle quite a bit with vulnerability. It was difficult and uncomfortable for me to read at times, since I could see myself on many of the pages. The book is full of research and stories about how we can chip away at the armor we wear to keep us from feeling vulnerable, and other strategies we can use as teachers, leaders and parents. It is aimed at changing the way we think about vulnerability and shame to be more authentic and engaged with our lives and those around us. 5/5 stars.

Age of Miracles by Karen Thompson Walker // Unique coming-of-age story set against an apocalyptic backdrop as the earth's rotation is slowing. It was a much more subtle story than I was expecting, but the ideas in the book stuck with me for a long time after reading it. 4.5/5 stars.

Beyond Snapshots by Rachel Devine // Very basic photography book. Good for someone who doesn't know much about photography and shoots on full auto. If you're even an amateur photographer, you'll be too advanced for this book. Not worth rating.

This Year I Will... by M.J. Ryan // Covers a lot of ground on the topic of goal-setting and resolutions, but does so at the expense of depth. Each chapter is only about 2-3 pages long, covering one tip about resolution-keeping. The tips are thought-provoking on their own, but the author never dives in past the surface level. There are hundreds of blogs out there with more thorough information. 2/5 stars.

Movies
Lincoln // A standard historical bio-pic. The acting was pretty good, especially from Daniel Day Lewis-- I felt at times like I was watching some sort of wax-figure, animatronic movie because Lincoln was so spot-on and believable. But all-in-all, I was ~~sort of~~ pretty bored.

Zero Dark Thirty // I liked this movie, and enjoyed it much more than Kathryn Bigelow's The Hurt Locker. We all know the story behind ZD30 by now (tracking down Osama bin Laden), but it was well done and the last 45 minutes of the movie are super tense. I wasn't completely wowed by Jessica Chastain's performance, so her Golden Globe was a surprise.

Silver Linings Playbook // The best part about this movie was Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper. They're fantastic and I love them. The story was pretty good but not amazing. I appreciate the twist on a rom-com using two flawed, complicated characters.

Looper // Time-travel stories confuse me with all of their paradoxes. But my boyfriend was in it (and did a great job taking on the mannerisms and characteristics of Bruce Willis), so I still enjoyed it.

Beasts of the Southern Wild // This is the "Winter's Bone" of the 2013 Oscar ballot. I was most interested in the directing of this movie, as it was unique, artistic, and fit with the story quite well.

The Help // I kept putting off watching this movie since I was trying to finish the audiobook first. Well, that never happened so I watched it. Good movie, but I can see how some critics felt the movie was a polished, "Hallmark version" of the book.

Sleepwalk With Me // I love Mike Birbiglia and this did not disappoint, even though I knew the story already. I enjoyed all the cameos throughout the film, too.

Tiny Furniture // I'm in the midst of a Lena Dunham obsession, so I had to watch her indie film. I can see how it was the loose premise for "Girls" and I think she captured the confusion and insecurity of being a directionless new college grad pretty well.

Documentaries
Jiro Dreams of Sushi // A documentary about a sushi chef at a $300-a-seat restaurant in Japan. It was beautifully shot and made me crave sushi like whoa. Jiro's story had some good moments about being dedicated to your craft, but for "love your work" profile stories, I liked Being Elmo better.

Fresh // Great sustainable food documentary. I've watched a lot of docs on food activism, so the information wasn't too new, but I loved that necessary changes were presented in a very positive way. Many food documentaries take on an alarmist tone, which often works, but doesn't always present clear solutions. This one felt more forward focused and upbeat.

PressPausePlay // Interesting documentary about how changes in technology and media distribution are affecting artists, musicians and other makers. The first half in particular made me think a ton, but the second half lagged a little bit. Lena Dunham was a contributor to this film.

Television
GIRLS // Obsessed. Haters be damned ;) It's awkward and funny and deals with twenty-something situations in a refreshing way, even if the characters act like assholes to each other sometimes (I've been there, on both sides of that equation).

Parenthood // This season was even more of a tear-jerker for me than the previous seasons, if that's possible. Kristina's situation, Drew and Amy, Julia and Victor, Amber and Ryan's relationship, all of it. I could have done without Ray Romano, though. And I miss Haddie.

Podcasts
After the Jump Ep. 27 - End-of-Year Design and Blog Trends // Grace Bonney discusses what was popular this past year in design and blogging, and predicts what 2013 will bring. I definitely predicted several of the things that made her list. Good listen if you're interested in design.

Slumber Party with Alie and Georgia Ep. 2 - Joy The Baker // Loved hearing Joy speak out of "Joy the Baker" mode, and-- confession-- I liked her chemistry with these two funny ladies more than with Tracy Shutterbean. Yep, I'm sort of tired of the JtB podcast.

(PS - I also enjoyed the Slumber Party episodes with YouTubers Grace Helbig and Hannah Hart, because I sort of love both of them.)

The Nerdist - YouTube Titans: Grace Helbig, Harley Morenstein, and Hannah Hart // As I just mentioned, I love Grace and Hannah. This episode was crass at times, but I found their discussion of content creation and online communities really interesting.

By The Way, In Conversation with Jeff Garlin - Ep. 2, Lena Dunham // My Lena Dunham obsession continues. Jeff Garlin is a total character, but he and Lena have great chemistry and it was such a fun listen.

Here's the Thing - Lena Dunham // Again with the Lena! I'm not in love with Alec Baldwin's podcast, but it was a good conversation, though I could feel the age gap between Alec and Lena.

Loving Lately : February

noreply@blogger.com (Caiti) — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 11:30:00 +0000

A few posts ago, I alluded to the fact that I wasn't in love with my "Loving Lately" series. Hello, irony!

The format of these posts aren't original-- "Loving Lately" had been my own take on the popular monthly favorites blog posts and vlogs that are everywhere. Like others have done, I'd include anything from food to clothes to candles to beauty products that I owned/consumed and enjoyed.

Recently, I found myself seeking out new items for the purpose of having something new for my favorites list-- this is when I knew I had a problem. I don't always want to be on the lookout for the newest nail polish or the best moisturizer or the trendiest t-shirt.

I live very simply, especially these days. I'm constantly trying to clear out space in my home, and I've made a commitment to myself not to buy any new clothes this year. I don't go shopping for fun, ever, unless someone else drags me along with them. Impulse buys are almost non-existent for me. My routines-- makeup, clothes, food-- are simple and unfussy. Lately, I find myself eating the same types of foods over and over again; perhaps this is an effect of living in Ireland with a tiny kitchen and less ingredients to work with. Either way, I'm not seeking out new food products or recipes in the voracious way I used to.

In light of these lifestyle considerations, I've revised my approach to my "Loving Lately" column-- and to a wider extent, my blog as a whole-- so that I can hopefully love it more. I like sharing information and enjoy personal recommendations from others, so I don't want to drop the series all together. But instead of consumer-y stuff, I'm going to focus on just four specific categories. As I've been learning through keeping up my new Tumblr blog, my enjoyment of life is deeply intertwined with these four things-- something great to listen to (music or podcasts, old or new), beautiful pictures to look at, wonderful food to eat (even if it's a recipe I've made hundreds of times), and words that inspire me.

Loving Lately : February

In Audio // Tegan and Sara's new album, Heartthrob. I have had this on repeat for DAYS. Tegan and Sara always remind me of grad school, since I listened to their earlier albums constantly while I was a student. This album is much pop-ier and dance-ier than their previous work, but it is so addictive and just good. Favorite songs: Shock to Your System, I'm Not Your Hero, and Closer.

In Photos // Amy Messenger's Instagram stream. This is the Instagram account of musician Amy Seeley (Messenger is her married name). Her photos represent pretty much my fantasy life-- creating art, living in an old country house, traveling, trekking through nature, eating in cafes. She captures simple moments in a beautiful way, the light is always gorgeous, and each photo is like a peaceful breath of fresh air. Now that I think about it, her photos are like the visual form of her own music.

In Food // Asian Chicken Noodle Soup from Fudge Banana Swirl. My Twitter friend Meg raved about this soup, so I gave it a try. It was so simple but really flavorful, kind of like a not-as-spicy Thai Tom Yum soup. We used some leftover pre-cooked chicken we had in the fridge, and it only took 15 minutes max from prep to table, which is a huge bonus in my book. My only adjustment was that I used dried lemongrass from the Asian section of the grocery store in place of the prepared/tubed lemongrass (and pulled the piece out before serving), though I have seen the prepared stuff in the refrigerated produce section of grocery stores in the past.

In Writing // The Power of Story by Jim Loehr. The concept of this book boils down to this: The most important story about our life is the story we tell to ourselves about ourselves, and it explores how we can change our story in order to better our personal and professional lives. I'm about halfway through, and it's definitely thought-provoking. Nicole of Life Less Bullshit (formerly known as Nicole is Better) wrote a post last year that dives into the ideas in the book, which is how I first heard of the book.

Food For Thought : The Power of Language, Part II

noreply@blogger.com (Caiti) — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 17:30:00 +0000

{image by Raising Will via Styling You}

You all know I believe in the power of language, especially when it comes to the subtle choices we make with our words. I've written before about how re-framing situations from "have to" to "get to" can open up a new perspective.

Today, I need to pick on a habit I've noticed among bloggers as of late. In blog posts and tweets, too many ladies have been referring to "my little blog," "my little business," "my little e-book," or even "little ol' me." (I specify ladies because I've never seen a male blogger or businessman use this language, which is potentially telling in itself.)

When bloggers use the word "little," it could be an attempt at appearing self-deprecating or humble... a classic humblebrag, if you will. As in, "oh, I'm so surprised that so many people read my little blog." (I fully admit that I've done this in the past, for shame. Note: That's annoying. Stop it.)

Or, it could be a side effect of twee blogland, where cupcakes are adorable and "little" is just the cutesy jargon some ladies choose to describe everything from kittens to craft projects to their "little corner of the internet."

But I have the feeling that, many times, "little" is used because we are trying to downplay ourselves. Just this week I was reading a post by a blogger I really admire, and I was surprised to see her reference her growing creative pursuits as "little." It made me so sad. She's wonderfully talented, and it feels like she's selling herself short.

Whatever the reason, I really think we should stop it, okay? Let's think about what this language choice is actually doing. Using "little" to describe your dreams, goals, and creative pursuits undermines your ambitions. Imagine you were in a job interview. Would you ever refer to a past job this way? Oh, I was just a little lawyer/teacher/designer/whatever. No, because that would be ridiculous. It shows a lack of confidence in yourself; it says you doubt what you have to offer the world. Using "little" is apologetic. It says, you don't have to pay attention or listen to me-- I'm "little," after all. Having a small business is nowhere near the same as having a "little business." Do you see the difference?

Here is my message to you {and me}: Whatever your dreams are-- whether you are building a small business, or growing your blog, or writing a book/ebook, or pursuing a passion project on the side-- you are worthy of your dreams. Own them. Be honest with your words; if you are growing your blog or business, say so. Don't call it a "little blog" or a "little business" and stop there because you're equivocating and afraid to claim your dreams. I know it's scary to be in the beginning stages of any dream or goal, but you have as much a right as anyone else to be chasing after it. Maybe the steps along the way are "little steps," but YOU are not "little." You don't need to play it small, and in fact it's better for everyone if you don't. As Marianne Williamson wrote in her beautiful piece, Our Greatest Fear:

"Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won't feel insecure around you.
[...]
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others."

Have you noticed the word "little" being overused online in this way? What's your take on its use? Am I being entirely too sensitive about this? :)

PS - Tara Sophia Mohr wrote a great HuffPo piece on tips for women and communication that brings up several other words to avoid ("just," "actually," etc.) so that you communicate more confidently and without apology or tentativeness. Recommended read.

Hello, February.

noreply@blogger.com (Caiti) — Sat, 02 Feb 2013 11:30:00 +0000

love is in the air desktop calendar by oana befort

Throughout the past few years, I've often used the first of the month to set a few intentions for the following 30 days, like the good little hippie that I am. In reflecting on the past year, I realized that I often use this "intentions list" as a sort of mental/emotional to-do list-- i.e., focusing on gratitude in November, reducing my stress in December during the holiday craze, etc. There's nothing wrong with this approach, but I don't necessarily think that I made the most of this exercise since my intentions were based upon external circumstances rather than internal.

This year, I decided to get even more hippie and tie each month to one of my own personal values, giving myself 30 days to further explore what that specific value means to me, how it shows up in my life, and how I can better express it outwardly. This will give some framework to my monthly intentions and make them hold a little more weight for me. And, of course, it will help stay true to my yearly theme of "Courageous Truth" by keeping me on track with the activities, goals, and mental attitudes that best support this theme. I even plan to read one book each month that examines a topic related to that value.

While I plan to focus on one primary value each month, I do not intend to ignore the rest of my values, lest this turn into one big exercise in procrastination. I'm not going to put off exercise just because I won't be focusing on my value of "wellness" until April. Nor will only focus on "creativity" in, say, June. No way. Instead, each month will provide a chance to focus on feeling the way I want to feel (thanks, Danielle LaPorte) and cultivate some good habits that relate to my personal values, starting with Connection for the month of February.

To support my value of Connection in February, my intentions are to:

- Explore how I can become a more active member of my community. Find a volunteer opportunity that is a good fit for me. Reach out to one or two local organizations, such as a literacy/tutoring group, a children's mentorship program, or the library. Attend a service at the Unitarian Universalist temple.

- Emphasize my relationships. Continue to have a date night with Mark once per week. Focus on spending quality, fun time together, and not resorting to watching mindless TV. Have 2 or 3 girlfriend dates. Reach out to some potential new friends. Email or text my faraway friends. See my family twice this month. Go on a card buying binge, and get everyone's birthday written on the calendar one week before their birthdays.

Featured Book of the Month: "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.
From Goodreads-- "Quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch are the five basic love languages. Dr. Gary Chapman identifies these and guides couples towards a better understanding of their unique languages of love. Learn to speak and understand your mate's love language, and in no time you will be able to effectively love and truly feel loved in return." I hear it's a great resource for understanding all relationships (with friends, bosses, etc.), not just partner relationships.

I'm excited to see how this subtle shift in the way I set my monthly intentions changes how and what I achieve throughout the year. As I mentioned, I didn't set any specific or detailed goals about what I wanted to happen in 2013, so focusing on a few things each month that mean something special to me seems like a great approach to work towards being happier and more fulfilled.

PS - Don't know what I mean by "personal values?" Check out this post I wrote when I first started working through Stratejoy's "The Joy Equation" program. I highly recommend it if you're feeling a bit out of alignment with your life, job, relationship, etc. If you're interested in "The Joy Equation," click here to view more details. The "Joy Juice" daily prompts are also a great option for exploring and expressing your values. {Note: I am a Stratejoy affiliate, but I'm also a Stratejoy tribe member, former QLC blogger, and loyal fan of all of Molly's programs, and highly recommend them, affiliate or not.}

Freebie! : Liz Lemon Project Life Journaling Cards

noreply@blogger.com (Caiti) — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 18:00:00 +0000

As someone who often quotes Liz Lemon and can rock a pair of glasses with the best of 'em, I knew I had to incorporate one of my favorite fictional leading ladies into my Project Life album in some way. I first thought about custom stamps, but I didn't want to pay a ton of money to have them made. So, these 3x4" journaling cards were born, featuring a few of my favorite Liz Lemonisms. I think they'll be perfect for expressing those random, silly and awkward moments that are bound to happen. Especially to me. Because they happen ALL. THE. TIME. (See: The time a chocolate croissant almost killed me. Full story to come in an upcoming PL layout.)

When I shared a photo of these cards on Instagram, I got a lot of requests to make these available to others. Being the people pleaser that I am-- and in honor of tonight's final 30 Rock episode (*tear*)-- I present you with this freebie...

Liz Lemon Journaling Cards for Project Life!

Just click this link and-- fingers crossed-- you should be able to access this PDF file through my Dropbox account, even if you don't have Dropbox. I noticed the fonts look totally wonky and messed up in the Dropbox previewer on another computer, but everything was golden once the actual PDF was downloaded (just click "Download" in the top right corner if the link takes you to a preview screen). If anyone has any issues, just send me a comment/tweet/email, and I'll try to fix it.

After you download the file, I'd greatly appreciate you to pin either of these images on Pinterest to help share it with other Project Lifing Liz Lemon fans. Thank you! :)

The required small print: This Liz Lemon Project Life journaling card download is for personal use only and is not for redistribution or resale. Design is by Caitidid Designs/Caiti Santa Maria; I claim no copyright or ownership to the words and phrases used.

I recommend printing these cards on cardstock. I've only printed on white paper, but I'm excited to try it on yellow or light green soon. The cards are 3x4" and laid out on a 8.5x11" document, so when you cut them apart, you might need to trim a little bit inside the lines to fit in your page protector pockets easily. For those of you who do rounded corners, I'm 90% sure that these cards will all work with corner rounder punch thingies. I had every intention of testing that out to be sure, but I cannot find my rounder punch for the life of me. BLERG.

And, please, if you use these cards in your Project Life album, I'd love to see! Tweet me or tag me on Instagram @CaitiSantaMaria, or send me an email with photos.

I'll be sharing my pages for January in the next week or two, so you'll be able to see how I incorporated a few of the cards myself.

And I hope all you Liz Lemonheads enjoy the final 30 Rock episode tonight!