Call Her Blessed

Notecards {a perfect gift idea}

2010-09-02T22:33:00.000-06:00

I've been having the time of my life designing notecards!

In this age of electronic and instant communication, a beautiful hand-written note means so much. Please look through my designs and let me know which one is your favorite - and if you can, buy a handful to bless your friends and family with (either drop them a note, or give them as unique gifts). This starving artist would certainly appreciate your business! ;-)

Last Week's Shoot {sneak peek}

2010-08-30T23:02:00.000-06:00

Wow - what an honor to be asked to photograph an event as special and personal as saying goodbye to a great man. I have to say - I'm so thankful for the joy and hope that Jesus offers...after hearing so much about a wonderful man, I can't wait to sit and chat with him in heaven some day. If he can see the photos I captured for his family, I hope he approves :-)

The Funny Pages of Our Lives

2010-08-30T09:53:00.000-06:00

With kids around, there is an abundant supply of funny things being said. I thought I'd better get them documented before this sieve of a mommy brain forgets...

"Ben, it's time to turn off the TV. If you keep watching that much boob tube, you're gonna turn into one giant boob!"

"Mom, that's just disgusting."

__________________________

"Clara, you can come out of the corner now. Are you going to cooperate with a cheerful attitude now? Did you have a chance to think about it?"

"Well, yeah. And I also noticed that the baseboards over there really need a good cleaning."

___________________________

(Ben) "Mom, I know the little kids really like him, but I noticed something about Elmo: he has terrible grammar!"

___________________________

(Samantha) "Mommy, you need to change your clothes! Just LOOK at you! What if someone SEES you?!"

(Pardon me, my sweet and oh-so-stylish girl...I do believe that there is a law written somewhere...there is a statute of limitations on insulting your mama, and you do not meet the requirements. I'm quite certain that you must be a non-resident of my WOMB for no less than 10 years before you start giving me fashion advice. Maybe it's not 10 years, it might be less...I am quite certain, however, that it is more than your mere 4 years. Thank you for listening. I love you. Now excuse me while I go change these ratty clothes.)

___________________________

(Luke, sarcastically) "Yeah, I know, I know. I'm a TERRIBLE Daddy, aren't I. I can't believe I said 'no'. I'm just so cruel. Am I the worst Daddy ever? Is this what a mean and evil Daddy looks like??

(Clara) "No, I think the meanest daddy probably eats his children."

?!?!?!

_____________________

(Ben) "Mom, why do so many grown ups smoke cigarettes if it's so bad for them?"

"Well, honey, it's a tricky thing. Some people just enjoy smoking because they like how it makes them feel. Some people don't want to smoke anymore, but they can't quit because their bodies are so used to the drugs in cigarettes that it's painful to not smoke. That's the thing about being a grown-up. As long as your choices don't hurt anyone else, you are free to do pretty much whatever you want. There will always be people who make different choices than you would make...just like you'll make choices that they might not like."

"Do they WANT to die? Is that why they smoke?"

"Of course not. They just choose something that's not totally healthy for them. I make choices like that sometimes too - like when I choose to eat foods that aren't good for me, or when I don't exercise as much as I should. That doesn't mean that I want to die, it just means I made an unhealthy choice."

"Mom, smoking is different. Smoking is like putting POISON into their body. If they want to die so bad then why don't they just go buy a gun, give it to another grown up, and say 'here's my gun, just shoot me already, it will be better than being poisoned to death!' "

(Oh my. The 'just say no' campaign is surely working on my boy. Now, just to work in a little compassion...)

______________________

(Ben - he's been full of zingers lately) "Mom, did you know that boys are smarter than girls?"

"Wow, no. I didn't know that. In fact, I think you might be mistaken about that, my son. Boys are not smarter than girls."

"Yes they are! I'm smarter than....(proceeds to list several girls he knows)"

"That might be true, I don't know..."

"Maybe you don't know because you're a girl!"

"Well, you didn't let me finish what I was saying, and by the way, that was a rude thing to say. I was going to say that I'll bet there are plenty of girls who are smarter than you. Ben, being smart or not doesn't have anything to do with being a boy or a girl. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I'm smarter than you."

"Oh yeah, well I can play chess, and you can't!"

"That's true. But you're sitting here saying rude and insulting things to a girl...the ONE girl in your life that can take away your DS, the Wii, your bike, your scooter, can ground you, and who can cancel your allowance for this week. Do you think that's a very smart thing to do?"

"Huh. I guess not."

"I, and every school teacher you've ever had, are girls. Guess where you learned about 90% of what you know? From us dumb girls. Still think you're smarter than all girls just because you're a boy?"

"Um. No."

"You ARE a very smart boy, Ben. You're excellent at observing, solving problems, figuring interesting things out, and even inventing. You're smart for lots of reasons....but none of those reasons are because you're a boy. Understand?"

"Yeah....do I still get my allowance this week?"

"Only if you get over here right now and give me a big squeeze, Mr. Smarty-pants."

(I think he got the point...but he still thinks that only girls clean bathrooms. Might need some help from his Daddy to clear that one up.)

_______________________________

(Sammy) "Hey Mommy, do you know what a 'milky throat' is?" (pronounced miwky fwoat)

"No, what's that?"

"It's when you have a throat that just keeps saying 'milk please' over and over and over again. If you have a milky throat, then you want milk every day over and over and over again. That's what I have, a milky throat."

__________________________

Thomas's speech is coming along - he's able to communicate more and more lately. It's the non-verbal communication that's sometimes the sweetest, though.

I opened my eyes this morning to his big blue eyes staring at me from about 3 inches away. He was lying on his tummy, propped up on his elbows. Apparently, Daddy had tucked him in next to me after he'd padded his way downstairs in the wee hours of the morning. He sat there staring at me in smiling silence...just waiting for me to open my eyes. He had a big toothy grin and a "Hi Mama" for me the instant I opened my eyes. I smiled, said "Hi sweet pea", and then (to spare him my morning breath) turned my face away and closed my eyes to fall asleep again. He reached over with his pudgy baby boy hand, rested his had on my cheek, and gently pulled my face back toward him. He kissed me on the cheek, then pressed his cheek to my lips so I could kiss him.

"oooo Mama"

"I love you too, sweet boy"

Then he wrapped his arm around my neck, squeezed in tight with his soft breath on my shoulder, and fell fast asleep. Sleep was gone for me though. I didn't want to miss soaking in his wonderful snuggle, so I stayed awake and just thanked the Lord for my wonderful life.

First Day of School {In Pictures}

2010-08-25T13:04:00.000-06:00

I simply can NOT believe that it's time for school to start again! Piles of notes and papers, homework, drama with friends, school programs, a crazy schedule....really? again? already?!

We spent the day yesterday buying the last few school supplies, labeling everything, and stuffing the new backpacks with goodies. We also sorted through the new school clothes and the kids chose their favorites:

What special morning is complete without special pancakes? We're Star Wars fans around here. Thomas can't quite say "all done"...but he can say "Yoda" :-)

It's not quite her first day of school yet, but Sammy was plenty excited with all the activity this morning!

The girls both got haircuts yesterday, and I bought a special shampoo to get the summer's chlorine out of their hair. It's so shiny now! Of course, we also put the pink rollers in Clara's hair. She feels (and looks) so beautiful with curls:

I know, I know...I have a thing with feet. This is one of my favorite shots:

This one is pretty darn sweet though too:

It's starting - the kids are starting to give me the "awww mooOOOoom" when I ask for pictures. Before you know it, they'll refuse to stand still for me. Can you tell how enthused she is? ;-)

I gotta say - when Ben insisted on having a bag like this one instead of a backpack like usual, my heart skipped a tiny beat. When Luke and I first met, he carried a bag that was this same style, and he wore it slung across his chest just like Ben does now. Ben also got his daddy's broad shoulders.

Pay no mind to the little ones running around my street in their jammies:

Even this rose seemed to be smiling this morning:

These pictures - nearly kill me. I married a man who turned out be such a tender-hearted daddy:

Watching for the bus...

I caught Ben checking the time as he waited for the bus - something about this picture just makes my heart ache a little. My baby boy is such a young man already.

My sweet girl - all ready and excited for her adventure today:

Here comes the bus! I love all the different expressions on the kids' faces...happy, nervous, anxious...

I love this angle:

This seems like a boring shot, but it's what my kids will be facing every school morning. I'll bet they'll like this picture some day :-)

Have a wonderful year, my big kids. Remember who you are and that your Mama loves you!

My Best Dream

2010-08-23T04:00:00.001-06:00

It was a cool evening in late summer. I was leaving home the next morning - my family would drive me to my first year of college the next morning. I was excited. Scared. Uncertain. Conflicted. Was I doing the right thing?

As I often did, I opened my bedroom window and removed the screen from the sill, and climbed out onto the little section of roof outside. I curled my knees to my chest, took a deep breath, and sighed as I stared up at the evening sky. Are you there, God? I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. Please help me figure this out.

I waited and waited. The navy sky deepened in to a heavy blanket of black with stars twinkling through the fabric of night. The crickets chirped their reliable song from the grass below. The air became chilly...cold even as the breeze fluttered through my hair and chilled the tears that trickled down my cheeks.

When no answer streaked across the night sky or even whispered in my ear, I gave up. I crawled into my bedroom to sleep in my childhood bed for the last time as a full time resident there. As I laid in bed, I thought of the black shoebox still sitting on the bed near my feet. It was filled with an old dream.

Love notes. A little stuffed gorilla. A worn and faded football t-shirt. A tape filled with his voice. A small bottle of his favorite cologne. Memories of what I once thought was real and lasting love.

He had asked me to marry him. I graduated from high school, and he came back from college to whisk me away just as we'd planned just a couple of years before. He still felt it. He still wanted the future we'd both dreamed of. But my heart, no matter how I tried to re-kindle what I'd once felt, had moved on. There was no going back. I didn't love him anymore. I cared enough that it nearly killed me to tell him the truth - to see the pain in his eyes - to feel him fight tears as he held me and asked me to just try a little harder.

But I couldn't. I couldn't love him, and I didn't know why.

He was two years into a college program in another state. I was signed up and ready to follow him there - to try convincing my heart to love him. I was also signed up to go to a state college just 4 hours from home. When I woke in the morning, what would I do? Would I go with the plan of going to school closer to home, or would I announce to my parents that I wanted to go even farther away to chase what might be my one chance for love?

The what-ifs and the should-I's and the can-I's circled in my brain as I drifted off to sleep. One last call to the Maker of the stars...help...please help me...I don't know what to do.

Help came in the form of a dream.

In my dream, I was walking alone in a golden ripe wheat field. The wheat was high,

and I skimmed my fingers over the soft heads of grain as I walked.

The color...oh, the color...the field glowed with the light of sunshine.

It was the most beautiful color I'd ever seen in my life.

Was this real? Was beauty like this even of this planet?

The sky was a vibrant blue, with puffy clouds floating on the breeze.

Suddenly, I was no longer walking alone. A man came up to me on my left, and

draped his arm over my shoulders. It was second nature for me to

wrap my arm around his waist. We walked side by side. We

fit perfectly. Being with him was...bliss.

I was overcome by the...rightness...of being with this man.

He was perfect. He was mine.

He was who God made just for me, and I for him.

I can still feel the swell in my heart in that dream as if I just woke from it.

I thought I'd burst with sheer joy and contentment.

I longed for nothing, but to be with him.

And then, a voice. What was this voice?

"This, Daiquiri. This is how it is supposed to be. Wait. He is not the one."

Yes. Yes, I know. This is how it is supposed to be. I looked up and to my left.

I wanted to see his face. I wanted to know who he was.

He had golden hair - his hair was the same color as the wheat field we

were walking through. But his face...somehow I knew that he was

looking down at me and smiling...but his face was a blur.

And then I woke. It was morning, the day I was to leave. With utter confidence and peace, I got out of bed, put the lid on that shoebox, and slid the box under my bed. It would stay behind. God has a different future planned for me.

Fast forward a year.

I had spent my first year at college at that state school. I had a lot of fun. I changed my major about 5 times. I learned for certain that I was not supposed to be an accountant. I went to parties. I drank too much. I made friends I'll have forever. I dated. I got good grades. And the next thing I knew, I was registered to go to a different school the next year. I was having a "who am I and what should I do" crisis, and somehow, somewhere along the way, I decided that I needed to go to Moscow, Idaho and attend the University of Idaho.

I truly don't remember making the decision. Suddenly, it was just...done.

What I do remember, though, was driving to northern Idaho for the first time. I'll never forget driving up that windy mountain road with my mom in the passenger's seat...cresting a hill...and feeling the wind sucked from my lungs as I saw a view a lot like this (photo rights to Jean Yates):

I gasped loudly. "What?!" My mom asked. "Nothing". But it hit me, and I knew. The place I was entering was the place of my long-ago dream.

Fast forward another two years. Luke and I had met and began dating. For the story of the beginning of "us", click here (but finish this story first!).

We had only been dating a couple of weeks, and I knew that there was something special going on. Heck, I knew there was something special from the first time I heard his voice and my knees betrayed me my turning to jello! But my suspicion that this was something REALLY special came, again, in the form of a dream.

That same field.

The same me walking through the field.

The same clouds floating through the sky.

The same arm tucking me safely to his side.

The same feeling of bliss and contentment and overwhelming love.

The same golden-haired man.

But now...I look to see his face...and I see Luke smiling back at me.

I woke with a smile on my face, thinking "I knew it. Thank you, God."

We dated for almost exactly 2 years before we took our vows before God to love and honor each other forever. And now...impossibly...here we are. We've been together for 15 years, and married for 13 years. Four babies and all these years later, I'm still crazy about the incredible man that God made just for me. The man I was made for. There has never been a moment of doubt in my mind or heart as to whether I belong with Luke.

Happy Anniversary, my sweet and strong (and totally hot) man! I love you with all I am, and I'm thrilled that my future is with you. You make me a better person. You still make my pulse quicken and my knees turn to jello. You make me feel safe and loved and cherished. You in my life is my proof that God is good and that He loves me - you are my grandest and sweetest blessing.

And you...quite literally...make my every dream come true.

Finding My Inspiration

2010-08-22T14:49:00.001-06:00

I was pretty discouraged the last time I wrote. It's amazing how a few days can bring such a change in perspective! I decided, like I said, to get back to the basics a little bit. I pulled out the good old camera. I tinkered. I adjusted settings. I played with the self timer. I shot in manual more than I usually do.

(It also didn't hurt to have someone looking through my portfolio last night...she asked "These are amazing! Are they by xyz?" I'm not telling you "xyz"s name...but she's a well known photographer in my city who is generally considered to be an incredible photographer, so I was flattered :-) )

I had FUN taking pictures like I haven't had fun in a really long time.

I just shot what I saw. I prayed "Lord, show me please. Show me beauty where I've been missing it." I didn't have to look far.

Two of my wonderful babies:

A sunflower about to burst into color:

The onions growing in my garden. I've never had luck with onions...will this be my year?

A delicate speck of prettiness resting on the grass:

Like I said, I played around with the timer. It pains me to put this picture up. I mean REALLY pains me! But I'm trying to be honest here...sort of honest, anyway. Maybe next time I can put a picture up of myself without brushing some wrinkles out first ;-)

We took a family stroll that evening, and I brought the camera. My girl scooting through the neighborhood:

The little ones enjoying a summer treat:

My cautious oldest - being sure he doesn't get sprayed:

There was something about the pattern and texture to the rusty storm drain cover that caught my eye that night:

Having this child in my life just makes everything a bit more joyful (and loud and chaotic, but it's worth it). Here he is, sprinting toward me to show me his treasure:

"Look Mama!"

Shot from the hip as I held hands with my baby girl and she told me a story:

It didn't take long for someone's little legs to get tired, so Luke took the kids home and I kept walking. We have a wonderful little path that winds out of our neighborhood and through some undeveloped land. The sun was getting low and setting the fields to glow. I love evening light.

I can't describe what this color does in my soul...I think it has something to do with a dream I once had and the resulting love I found. I haven't told you that story yet - it's coming soon.

Southern Idaho is an arid place. If not for irrigation, the whole place would be dried grass and tumbleweed. Somehow, I even saw some beauty in the tumbleweed:

Seriously? This all happened by chance? Coincidence? Luck? I think not. My God - He is a spectacular artist.

I'm loving textures and patterns lately. There's just something about a plain old chain link fence - it brings my childhood roaring back...the tingly feel of my fingers and the jingly sound as the fence rattled while I ran down the sidewalk with my fingertips skimming the fence...the smell of honeysuckle creeping up the edge of the fence...the vines that tangled themselves in the links as they reached for the sun.

When I run, I often take this same path, and I always eagerly look forward to getting to the spot where I have this as my view. It's especially beautiful in the evening because the mountains are lit beautifully, and the clouds have a little extra something as the sun sets:

As the sun set, I hardly knew which way to look! To the west, the sunset was a blaze of light and color:

And to the west, my favorite mountains with the fields aglow and the sky saying goodnight.

Thank you, Lord, for loving us so much to show us your beauty. You are Awesome.

"The heavens declare the glory of God;

the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Day after day they pour forth speech;

night after night they display knowledge.

There is no speech or language

where their voice is not heard."

Psalm 19:1-3

Caffeine Induced Rambling

2010-08-18T17:51:00.000-06:00

I usually have a coffee around 3 every afternoon. Today, 4:30 rolled along and I wondered why I felt like crawling in to bed....then I realized that I'd skipped my coffee!

So I had a Diet Pepsi.

Then I had another Diet Pepsi.

Then I had some chocolate.

Then I sat down to type.

Fasten your seat-belts.

I've been stressed lately. It's my husband's birthday tomorrow, and I want to make it special. My kids are going back to school next week, and I think we're all a little agitated by the anticipation (and mind-numbing boredom of the end of summer). Oh, and there's the minor detail of us throwing an end of summer party in three days.

I'm looking forward to the party - I really am. So why the stress? Well, so far we have just over 90 people coming. 90. Nine-Zero. NINETY. PEOPLE. It's my party and I'll stress if I want to.

Thankfully, I don't have to cook. We're having our favorite Mexican restaurant pull their taco truck right into the driveway, where people can order their dinner. Theoretically, the whole shin-dig should take place in the backyard...but I'm my mother's daughter, which means that my house must be white glove spotless. I've been cleaning like a crazy woman for the past 3 days - a very happy thing for the door to door cleaning solution salesman who I actually allowed to sell me some of his potion two days ago! (By the way - being my mother's daughter is a good thing - she's a spectacular homemaker and gracious hostess.)

But do you know what's really keeping me up at night?

No, it's not the strange dreams I've been having. Although...last night was a doozy in the dream department. I dreamed that a circus train de-railed in my neighborhood, and we had dangerous wild animals roaming our lawns. My last recollection was some strange dance I was doing as I kissed my children goodbye for the last time - there was a tiger stalking the neighbor's toddler, and I was going out to save her and surely be eaten by a tiger for my efforts. I don't know about the dance part...probably had something to do with the 'mamba' tune I had my iPod alarm set to (which began to rudely wake me up just as I was going to save that little girl). I can't even go down with dignity in my dreams...gotta go out doing the mamba.

Sorry. Diet Pepsi is to blame for the previous paragraph. You were warned.

Really...what's keeping me up at night is the realization that I just spend too much time trying to grow up to be someone else.

I can't even let myself read other blogs or look at photography websites lately. Someone is always a better writer...a better photographer...a better...whatever. And then I think something like "she's only been in business a year, and she has a full schedule of clients and a rockin' website!"

And then I get discouraged that the only clients I have seem to be the one's I've offered to shoot for free.

And THEN I realize that I can hardly keep up my house and spend quality time with my kids the way it is, and I wonder if maybe it's asking too much of this limited 24 hour day to try and squeeze one more thing into it. Four kids need a lot of attention. I WANT to give my four kids a lot of attention. But is all of that just an excuse to avoid doing what I love because I don't want to fail at it?

And THEN I wonder if God is trying to guide me away from this photography thing because He wants me to be doing something else?

And THEN I remember (or am reminded) that when I spent a few days alone with the Lord at the beginning of the year to seek His guidance in this photography thing, He gave me a very clear direction. A direction the I was (am) really frighteningly excited about...but I've avoided going all-in. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of spending a bunch of time and money to make "art" that no one will buy. My walls will be covered, but my pocketbook will be empty.

Why am I working so hard to shoot like "that other photographer", when God gave me THESE eyes? THIS vision? THIS life?

I feel like I've wasted the past 8 months spinning my wheels trying to be someone else.

Heck, why not try the thing God showed me? I'm not exactly making any money doing what I'm doing now!

But it's not all about money either. At least it wasn't when I started. I started this business because I love photography, am pretty darn good at it, and thought I could help my family's financial situation a little. But the money part...it became validation for me. If I'm not making money, then I must not be any good.

In the mean time, my joy in this is dying. I adore shooting babies and young kids. I love God's artwork, and capturing it with my camera...my small part in revealing His glory. But, I rarely pick up my camera just for the fun of it anymore. In fact, I grabbed my camera this afternoon, sat in my backyard, and decided to sit there until I saw something I just HAD to snap a picture of.

I sat there for a long time.

Then I took a picture of my own foot. Looked at it in the viewfinder. Called it good enough, and stomped into the house in disgust.

I have to get back to the basics. Pictures of my ugly feet just won't do.

Addison {6 months}

2010-08-16T16:24:00.000-06:00

Sweet little Addie is 6 months old! She was such a great sport during her photo session - even let me snuggle her when we were done {sigh}. I love the perks of this job!

::Recipe:: Homemade Maple Syrup

2010-08-15T12:35:00.001-06:00

We go through syrup like it's the air we breathe. Crazy!

It's not that syrup is very expensive (at leas the imitation not-really-maple-anything syrup that I buy), but it is loaded with high fructose corn syrup. While the recent ads might be telling the truth when they say that high fructose corn syrup is fine in moderation...the kind of consumption that we've been averaging wouldn't be considered "moderation" by any definition of the word.

So...I decided to try and make my own. It's loaded with sugar. It's loaded with calories. And...it's delicious. I make a batch each weekend, refill the old plastic syrup bottle that is the last remaining remnant of the store-bought stuff we used to use, and the kids go through it by the next weekend.

I made an interesting observation since switching to the homemade stuff. One of the complaints I've heard regarding HFCS is that it somehow inhibits our ability to get the "I'm full" signal from our stomach (or brains? I don't know). I'm no scientist, but I can say with certainty that there's a more satisfied feeling in the belly after eating a stack of flapjacks coated in the real stuff vs. the HFCS version.

And, even though the kids adore the new syrup, their consumption of pancakes is down quite a bit. Are they just past a growth spurt, or are their bellies and brains finally able to come to the conclusion that they're full after 5 pancakes instead of 10? I don't really know...I just know the syrup is YUM-O.

Here's the recipe I use:

1 cup brown sugar
1 cup white sugar
1 cup water
1 tsp mapeline (or other maple flavor concentrate, found in the spice isle)
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp cream of tartar (supposed to help prevent crystallization)

Combine all ingredients in a saucepan, whisk together, and heat over med-high heat until boiling. Reduce heat to medium and boil for 5 minutes. Reduce heat to low and keep warm for another 5 minutes. Remove from heat and let cool completely before transferring to container. Can be stored at room temp or in the fridge.

PS. One of the things I've always disliked about homemade syrups is how water thin they are. This recipe yields a nice thick syrup. Enjoy!

The Acts of Daiquiri

2010-08-12T09:46:00.000-06:00

I've been slowly reading through my Bible during breakfast lately. Right now, I'm reading Acts. After yesterday's revelation about how I've been living, something struck me today.

The story told in Acts is really incredible - it's basically a play by play account of what happened after Jesus was resurrected. What hit me today was what the apostles' lives looked like. It seems that every other paragraph begins with something like "The Holy Spirit said..." or "The Holy Spirit Let them to..." or "The Holy Spirit showed them..."

And what was their reaction? They listened. They went. They saw.

That's what I want my life to look like!

How does all of this relate to my writing yesterday? When I have my head down, burdened by the load I'm trying to carry...I cannot see.

When I fail to put on that protective armor of Truth and let the voices of uncertainty and doubt and failure spin in my mind all day and night...I cannot hear.

When I'm working and striving to do my thing - to do all that I want to do and feel I should do or need to do...I can not be led in a way the Spirit might want me to go.

So here's to a day of freedom! Freedom in Christ to find joy right where I am. Freedom to live free from fear or doubt or guilt. Freedom to ask with humble boldness, "Where do you want me to go today, Lord? How do you want the "Acts of Daiquiri" to read?" and then

Hear

See

GO...

Seriously, if I Had a Nickel...

2010-08-11T16:52:00.000-06:00

...for every time I've had this conversation with God and myself, I'd truly be rich. Or I'd at least be knee high in nickels.

I. Am. So. Exhausted.

And it's my own darn fault. I haven't been living like the free woman I am. Slowly, one by one, I've unintentionally picked up a whole slew of burdens that I once laid at the foot of the Cross. So here I am, carrying. Huffing and puffing. Sweating. Crying under the stress. Feeling weak in the knees and with a sick feeling in my gut for all the darn GUILT.

I'm just not good at this.

They need and deserve so much more.

Some moms do this all with such grace. Why can't I?

I had such big plans.

I hate how impatient I am. I yell too much.

Why can't I ever follow through?

Over time, I get worn down. I can't do it quite right, so I don't do it at all. I lie on the couch and sleep and cry and call out to the Lord..."where are you? why is this so hard all of a sudden?"

There is no reply.

So I sit in my exhausted state and just do whatever comes my way...and that doesn't require me leaving the comfort of my sweat pants. I read books. I play cards. I straighten the kitchen just a little. I play lego space guys with my boy. I sleep. I snuggle.

And suddenly, there's an answer.

"It's hard because you shouldn't be doing it all in the first place, my Love."

As if blinders are lifted from my eyes, I finally see all the stress and worry and effort I've taken on myself lately. There they were...all the most important things in my life, tucked safely in the most capable Hands that exist...and somewhere along the way, I decided that I would be better suited to take care of things.

And when I am in charge of making life go right? When I'm in charge of my children's well being? When I'm in charge of making the budget fit neatly together each month? And when I'm in charge of worrying sufficiently to ensure that nothing bad can happen?

It gets heavy.

And really really scary.

The next thing I know, I'm sitting on the couch crying and feeling like nothing is going right and that I'm a lousy wife and mom.

Oh, the sweet freedom and liberty of being a follower of Jesus! I sit and close my eyes, and I think about all the garbage I've been worried about and working so hard on....

Take it, Lord. And that, and that, and this too...

Whatever you want to happen here? And there? And over there too? Please, just do it your way and let what will be...be.

I'm sorry for trying to do all of this on my own. You're so much better at it than I am!

Thank you for taking such good care of us.

Thank you for freeing me....saving me...loving me.

I love you Lord. I'm yours. Guide me. Carry me. Show me. Speak to me.

Tomorrow, Lord? Please help me remember that I need to give all of this to you tomorrow too. And the day after that, and the day after that, and...

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

My Poor Little Neglected Blog

2010-08-06T11:01:00.000-06:00

"Is there something WRONG with you?", she asked.

"No, why?"

"Well, you haven't written on your blog for real in...well...forever!"

I guess she's right. Frankly, I just haven't been that into it!

It hit me when I went shopping for a new patio set that we finally got the courage up to spend money on. And what did I find where I expected the summer goodies to be? SCHOOL SUPPLIES.

I feel summer slipping through my fingers, and the mommy guilt settling deep into my heart. The zoo? Not once. The water park? Nope. The library? Surely, we've been to the library! Nilch. And then there's the reading program, the sewing project I wanted to share with Clara, the ten thousand sno-kones I was planning on...summer bliss.

Our summer days this year have settled into a predictable routine. The sun peeks through my curtains, and I roll over and go back to sleep. Then the parade begins. One child after the next..."Mom, can I have a granola bar?"..."Mom, can I have a pop tart?"..."Mom, can I have some toast?"

"Sure, sweetie. Get one for your little brother/sister too."

Roll over, catch a few more winks.

Luke has been long gone. He parted with a sweet kiss to my bare shoulder and a nuzzle to my neck at 5 AM. Working two jobs is a big undertaking. Work on the house before heading to the office each morning, then back to it for a quick task at lunch time, then the office again all afternoon. Home for dinner (maybe), then head out to the house again after the kiddos are in bed. He's a hard working guy, my husband.

We watch some cartoons. I make some eggs to round off the stream of sugar the kids have been gobbling since they got up. I sip my coffee and read the Bible. I pray. I turn on the worship...crank it while I clean the kitchen. Encourage kids through their morning of "make your bed, brush your teeth and hair, get dressed". Start answering the door. A ring at the front, a knock at the back. The kids swoosh out on their bikes or scooters. Our house ebbs with the tide of kids in and out...in and out...in...out...

Before it seems they've been gone for 10 minutes..."MOOOOM, can I have a popsicle?"

"POP! POP! POP! ME TOO!" chimes Thomas.

and then

"Mama! My yellow dress is clean! I see it in the laundry room! It's my be-oooo-tiful dress. I wanna wear it! Will you help me change?" from Sammy.

How can I deprive my girl of feeling so be-ooo-tiful every.single.solitary.blessed.day? :-)

Before I know it, it's lunch time and the dishes.
And dinner, and the dishes.
And bedtime.
Whew.

Again...

Doesn't leave me much to write about :-)

Wonderful Military Homecoming

2010-08-03T22:50:00.000-06:00

An amazing friend asked me to photograph her husband's homecoming this evening. He's been off at war for the past 9 1/2 months. I tell her that she's strong and amazing...incredible, even. She doesn't believe me. That's just the way she is. Don't believe her though, she really is incredible. I was so honored to be there to see this family together again.

Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

Hey Hey, Ha Ha & Hoo Hoo

2010-07-22T14:16:00.000-06:00

Isn't this the sweetest picture of my baby and my Dad? Dad was helping Thomas pull the string on the little poppers the kids enjoyed on the 4th of July. I love the looks on both their faces!

By the way - Thomas Robert is named after his Papa. I hope he grows to be as good a man as my Dad.

Thomas has been talking more and more lately. He was very slow to get started, but he's really taking off now. It's so fun to know a bit more about what's going on in his sweet little head...like lots of "NO", "MINE", and "ME DO". The kid knows what he likes.

My favorite expression so far is "You ooo, Mama." I had snuggled up to him and was nuzzling his soft little neck, and I whispered "I love you Thomas. Mama loves you so much." And his response..."You ooo, Mama" almost brought me to tears. "You love me too?" "Yeah", with a big squeeze around the neck and a puckered kiss on the cheek.

This mama job is tough...but so wonderful.

He's also assigned some fun names to his little lovies. It started with a stuffed monkey. He'd curl his arm and hand over his head and say "Ha Ha Ha" like a monkey does. Eventually, the monkey just became "Ha Ha."

Then he took kindly to a pillow with a picture of a train on it. Since he likes to name things by the sound they make, the train pillow became his "Hoo Hoo".

And then, the mystery name. Or maybe Thomas just likes the letter H, I don't know. But a little stuffed Bob the Builder doll? You guessed it, "Hey Hey". Don't ask me.

So bed time around her is interesting for my little boy. He gets all tucked in, but not before he has his whole crew of snugglies.

"Hey Hey!"
"Ha Ha!"
"Hoo Hoo!"
"Night Night."

Now that he's tucked in for his afternoon nap (which we've started up again since no name = monster boy), I'm off to dump some toxic poison on my backyard. My little Thomas was playing in the grass, and walked through some clover. Bees love clover. Bees don't like getting stepped on much...no matter how soft and squishy and tender the foot is. Thomas got stung, and this mama bear is going to do something about it. I might kill the clover. I might kill some bees. I don't know...but somethin' is gonna pay! ;-)

Vacation Over-Load (in a good way)

2010-07-19T11:01:00.001-06:00

Well, we're back from vacation...but not really. Luke's older brother and his family arrived last week, and his younger brother and his family arrive today. We have a full and crazy (and FUN) house!

I keep thinking that I'm going to sit down and do a giganto blog post to share our Wisconsin vacation photos, but it doesn't seem to be happening. You'll have to settle for one or two here and there as I get a chance.

This picture was taken by my Dad when we were out shooting off fireworks with the kiddos.

I Mean Really, How Much Cuter Can They Come?

2010-07-15T15:22:00.000-06:00

This is my little Samantha Ruth. Her amazing smile was what beamed back at me every time I looked at her last week - she was in heaven at Yaya & Papa's cottage. She walked around with dripping braids, a bright yellow life jacket, and bucket full of snails for days on end.

There are few things better in my life than seeing my kids truly and deeply happy.

May it always be so.

Summer

2010-07-14T07:55:00.001-06:00

Isn't summer a beautiful season? The constant pursuit of relaxation and fun...all with purple crocs :-)

We had a wonderful time at my parents' lakeside cottage this year. The kids ran outside and blew bubbles after a rainstorm one afternoon. The ground was soaked, so the bubbles settled on the driveway without popping. It was magical!

Many (many) more Wisconsin photos to follow. Stay tuned!

The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, and rich in love.

Psalm 145:8

Oh Baby!

2010-07-13T11:01:00.001-06:00

My favorite photography subjects? NEWBORNS! Please call me to schedule a photo shoot for your new little super-star! For contact info, see my photography website: DRosePhotos.com or my Photo blog: DRosePhotographyBlog.blogspot.com

(yes, this is shameless self promotion :-) )

Home

2010-07-13T10:13:00.000-06:00

We just flew into our little Boise airport last evening. It struck me how COOL 98 degrees can feel when it's closer to 25% humidity (rather than 60 or 70% humidity). Wisconsin is green for a good reason...water, water, everywhere! We had a wonderful time playing and relaxing in beautiful Wisconsin. Man, are we blessed!

Speaking of blessed, I just love how my Lord cares about the most mundane little parts of my life. We crawled our way through traffic in Milwaukee trying to make it to the airport in time...but we didn't get there until about 20 minutes before takeoff. Yikes. We were certain to miss our flight. As we were inching our way through construction on the highway, I said to the kids, "Now would be a good time to pray, kiddos." They did. I did. And I was suddenly so peaceful! Traveling with our whole family to try and grab the last flight out? Peace? That's a miracle in itself!

We got checked in, but were scattered all over the plane...and it was still questionable as to whether we'd actually make it through security and on the plane in time.

We made it through security and to our gate. The plane was just getting unloaded from the previous flight - we had enough time for bathroom breaks, a diaper change, and to fill up the water bottles. Whew!

As we got settled on the plane, we had to ask fellow passengers to switch seats so that all the kids had either Luke or me near them. Normally, we're met with scowls and answers like "I suppose" as they huff of to their new seat that they feel obligated to take since so many eyes are watching.

But not this time. This time it was all "What can I do to help?" and "Sure, I'd love to switch"...with smiles and comments about our beautiful children.

I'll tell ya...pray, and sometimes the answer is to be surrounded by angels dressed in business suits.

We had a tight connection to make in Minneapolis. Our flight was running late...would we miss our connection and end up sleeping in the airport?

As we landed in Minneapolis, the pilot came on and welcomed us to MN and announced that we were on the plane that would be departing for none other than Boise, Idaho!

We let everyone else get off the plane, switched to our assigned seats for the next flight (which were all together), and got off the plane for some potty breaks and dinner. We even got to leave out bags on the plane - what a relief to not have to schlep them along!

Both flight were smooth, the kids were (mostly) in good spirits, and no one barfed ;-)

We didn't have a ride from the airport to our house, so we decided to take a cab. I was wondering if we'd have to take two in order to fit our whole family plus our bags. Burt no...there was a long line of cars....and one lone minivan. We fit perfectly.

I don't always perceive an immediate response to my prayers, but I sure did yesterday! It was as if He put his arm around my little family and whispered in my ear, "I've gotcha, my precious little one."

Thank you, Lord. Thank you for watching out for us and taking such good care.

Taking Hold of the Power of Prayer

2010-06-29T11:25:00.001-06:00

Well, I was all set to just put blogging aside for a bit so I could focus on getting ready for our fantabulous vacation coming up. And then God showed me something incredible that I just have to share.

A friend and I were chatting yesterday about some of our struggles and frustrations and fears, and the conversation inevitably turned to God as it always does when I'm talking with a Christian friend. To be more specific, we talked about prayer and it's power. At one point, we started talking about "those Name It and Claim It people" :-) In my circles, "those" types of folks are always spoken of with a hint of curiosity, and slightly larger portion of disdain. The general feeling is that they treat God like He's some sort of genie in a bottle who is sitting around waiting to make our dreams come true.

After we got off the phone, that conversation really stuck with me. God was trying to show me something, I could feel it. I searched the Word. I prayed. I considered many of the amazing things that God has done in my life.

And you know what? I think I've been wrong all this time. I've been selling God and His power in my life far short.

No, God is not a genie in a bottle waiting for just the right "type" of prayer to bless me with whatever I ask. No, praying in a certain way will not ensure that I avoid suffering or pain. No, praying about everything that comes to mind will not result in the precise Heavenly answer I want.

But here's the thing....who am I to edit my prayers?

All this while I've been measuring my prayers to God against what I think is "appropriate". I don't pray for certain things because it feels "wrong". I don't ask about certain things because who am I to know such things? And even when I DO find the courage to pray a bit more boldly, I don't really expect great things from God...I am amazed when I get great things. Not because God is amazing, but because He actually answered my prayer.

Why do I expect any less??

In this area of my life, I see now that I've been sucked into being falsely humble (Colossians 2:18). The idea that I need to pre-screen my prayers before a God who already knows me inside and out is not humble...it's not "appropriate prayer". It's pride. Plain and simple - ugly pride...taking control in an area of my life where it is only God's place to be in control.

IT IS NOT MY PLACE to pray for less than everything that's in my heart! To do so puts me in a position of power before the Lord. I am instructed...ordered, even....to pray about every single thing I have going on. When I let my prayers be hindered by a need to pray for appropriate things or in an appropriate way, I am blocking the power of God in my life.

The way I should be praying is this: On my face in humility before Him, baring my every fear and concern and praise and joy...my every dream. And then I leave it at His feet to do as He pleases.

I should be praying for (and expecting!) my every single dream to come true or for my dreams to be changed by a God who can change hearts.

Yes, it's a bold way to pray. Boldness can sometimes be interpreted as arrogance, and if my boldness is based on confidence in my own power to get something done it IS arrogance. But in this case it is just the opposite. My boldness is based on a faith in the power of God - THAT is true humility!

So what's the point? Why be sure that I'm praying "right"? Well, isn't it obvious - I want to win the lottery and I want my kids to always be healthy and I want to look beautiful and lose 15 more pounds- and God can do these things for me if I just ask the right way! Hahahah - just kidding!

I want to pray in a way that opens the door to God doing all things great and wonderful in my life and in my heart, so yes, I want His blessings. But more importantly, I love Him. I want Him to delight in my heart and my attitude toward him. I don't want to hold anything back from Him. I want my heart and my life to be laid bare before Him, and I want to rest in the knowledge that the one who is best able to be guiding and directing and blessing my life is being allowed to do so.

(By the way - I don't want to forget that we have an enemy who is lying and cheating and stealing his way to making me miserable. If I were him and I knew first hand the power of God and of His people's prayers? One of the first things I'd try to do is convince God's people that there's no power in prayer and that they shouldn't be expecting great things from God. Don't let the slimy little jerk get away with his lies.)

A small sampling of what the Bible says about prayer and God and the desires of my little heart:

Psalm 6:9 "The LORD has heard my cry for mercy; the LORD accepts my prayer."

Psalm 66:20 "Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!"

Proverbs 15:8 "The LORD detests the sacrifice of the wicked, but the prayer of the upright pleases him."

Matthew 21:22 "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."

Mark 11:24 "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."

Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

James 5:16b "The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."

Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."

Zephaniah 3:17 "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

Luke 11:9 "So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."

1 John 5:14 "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.

James 4:2b "You do not have, because you do not ask God."

I Am So Ready For Vacation

2010-06-28T09:20:00.002-06:00

Not the kind of vacation where Luke goes to work and I wrangle kids all summer long. I'm talking the kind of vacation that involves a beautiful lake, s'mores, skiing, fishing, and some of my favorite people in the whole wide world. And trees, lots and lots of trees. I love trees.

We're headed to Wisconsin this week! Yahooo!

Sammy wakes up every morning, comes dashing to our bedside, and says "Okay, NOW how many days until we go to Yaya & Papa's???" The kids talk about little else besides what they want to pack for the airplane ride and how many marshmallows they'll be able to eat. I'm doing laundry like my life depends on it, and Luke is working insane hours each day so that he can get everything wrapped up before leaving and just relax.

Speaking of packing for the plane, I can't stop thinking about it either. We've decided that we're simply not going to pay good money to bring luggage on the plane. So...we're going to pack everything on the plane with us as carry-ons. {shudder} I figure this is a good trip to try it on - we'll need little more than shorts, flip flops, and our swimming suits. Everyone will have a roll-aboard suitcase and a backpack. I'm simply not thinking about how this can't possibly work for a winter trip to Wisconsin.

If you see us at the airport, I suggest you steer clear. We'll be the group with 6 people, 12 bags, and 4 extremely excited kids. One of the kids is finally finding his words, which he enjoys screaming instead of speaking. His favorite new word is "FLASHLIGHT", of all things. Ha! We're the group that you watch come down the aisle toward you on the plane. As we pass the empty seats surrounding you, you heave a big sigh of relief and a "thank you, Lord".

If we end up sitting by you, I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry.

Although, we do take up our very own row on the plane, so it's more like we'll be sitting near you instead of by you. Believe me, these details matter ;-)

Okay, Okay. I'll Wait.

2010-06-23T10:11:00.001-06:00

This is a rooster at my sister's house. He's bold and (ahem) cocky, and is the best watch bird I've ever seen. He crows incessantly at us every time we show up. Drives Luke crazy - he's always saying "that bird would be fajitas soooo fast if it were up to me".

But cool looking poultry is not what's on my mind today. I just like the picture.

What's on my mind is waiting...waiting on the Lord's timing even when waiting is exactly what I DON"T want to do.

Figuring out what I want is half the battle with me. But once I figure it out, I want it NOW. I go after it. I make it work. I find a way and I just do it. This has just been the way I do things - I'm a go-getter.

Based on worldly standards, this is a good trait. It makes me strong and bold and, usually, very successful.

Based on Godly standards, it's not always a good trait. It's good sometimes, but only because God tends to get things worked out despite my arrogance and boldness. And I suppose it's good sometimes because when I see a need, I typically just jump in and get it done. Action is a good thing when it's motive is love.

But I'm not talking about stopping to give a sandwich to the homeless guy or spontaneously telling someone that Jesus loves them. I'm talking about big life stuff. For the big life stuff, I'm working hard to wait on the Lord's will and timing.

My motivation is mostly selfish, I'll admit. God knows best. He's shown me time and time (and time and time) again that He loves me and knows me even better than I do. He wants good things for me. I can trust Him. It makes the waiting a bit more tolerable, knowing that the result will be even better than I could have dreamed up for myself.

God has quite the imagination when it comes to showering me with blessings!

A good example of this is the amazing guy I ended up marrying. I spent many years feeling desperately lonely. I dated. A lot. I found lots and lots of duds, but I also found some wonderful men who were...well...wonderful. Kind. Fun. Funny. Handsome. Sweet. I even found one or two really wonderful men who adored me. And I tried desperately to make myself feel what I knew I should be feeling for the "one", but I just couldn't. I can think of one time in particular when I had to break up with someone who I loved dearly....just not like that...I begged God to let him be the one for me, but he just wasn't. Boy, I cried and cried and cried...and wondered if I'd thrown something terrible away.

And then....Luke.

He's a miracle. The way I feel about him (after 13 years of marriage and 4 babies) is nothing short of a God-thing. See? God had something in mind for me, and I'm so thankful that He gave me the strength and courage to wait on His perfect will and timing.

So that's what I'm trying to do now. I know what I want. But every time I pray about it, do you know what happens? It drives me crazy. The song that goes "Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord, as we wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord....." rings through my head. "Wait upon the Lord" ends up cycling through my head all the darn day. It seems my answer is clear.

And if it's not, my recent Bible reading should give me a clue. The past two times I was feeling particularly desperate, I prayed in earnest to hear from Him. "Talk to me Lord. Tell me what you have for me. Help!" And then, not knowing where to start reading, I just sort of opened the Book and read.

Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."

and

Luke 12:31-32 "Yet seek ye his kingdom, and these things shall be added unto you. Fear not, little flock: for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom."

Both times, I hear Him whispering to my heart and soul...."I see you. I know you. I love you. I'm taking care of things. Rest in me and trust. Just keep your eye on me and WAIT."

As if that wasn't enough, I heard my girls talking the other day. Clara wanted Sammy to go with her to do something and Sammy replied "Just a minute please. You must wait for a second while I finish what I'm doing here."

Oh boy....she sounded exactly like her Mama! With all 4 kids home now, I'm constantly being interrupted. I'm on the phone, I'm folding laundry, I'm making a meal....but they need something NOW. So they get told to "wait a second" a LOT lately.

I can't tell you how happy I was to hear Sammy saying "just a minute please" instead of "GIVE ME A BREAK! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M DOING SOMETHING HERE?! GIVE ME FIVE FREAKING SECONDS OF PEACE, WILL YOU?!"

I don't know where she'd get the idea to say something like that (ahem).

Their little exchange just hit me. It was like God was giving me a nudge and saying, "See? sometimes the kids have to wait while the parent gets some necessary work done."

OKAY....I get it.

So here I sit. My heart and dreams in His capable hands. Waiting...

Father's Day Fun & Rainy Day Rose

2010-06-20T22:11:00.001-06:00

Well, I think fun was had by all this Father's Day. Since it was his day, Luke got to choose how we spent it. His choice? I don't quite get it, but he chose to set his alarm for 5:30 AM. Me, I'm more of a sleep till 9 and wake to fresh coffee and eggs being delivered to my bedside, but not my husband. When he has a project he cannot be stopped, and there's nothing he'd rather do than be covered in sawdust and tile grout...even if it means getting up at 5:30. I guess I'm just happy that his plan didn't involve ME getting up at 5:30 :-)

While he fixed the planet with nothing more than his hammer, saw, and superhero ability to thrive on just 4 hours of sleep, I hustled around the house. I cleaned, I got kids dressed, I made potato salad (that really needed a little something more, but I don't know what it was. mustard?), wrapped a gift, and I even dragged one feverish little boy to the doctor to see if he had strep throat. He doesn't. Whew.

Then, the real fun began. My sister and her family came over (her husband also has that crazy no sleep ability, and worked with Luke all morning). They have the cutest little button of a puppy. She's an itty bitty little pug/chihuahua mix named Molly. She weighs about the same as the fingernail on my pinky finger and is impossibly cute.

Around dinner time, Luke's dad and step-mom came over to join us. I'm so blessed with a wonderful family...just love them to bits.

It was fun. And yummy.

And I missed my Dad. Just not right without my folks. Don't know how to fix that that.

Sammy enjoying the festivities:

Thomas getting a batting lesson from his uncle:

Look at my little man!:

Little miss Molly (yes, her head is the size of my lens cap!):

Extra meeting Molly for the first time:

My kids giving Daddy their gifts. The big kids made him books:

Sammy and Thomas drew him pictures (Thomas was asleep on the couch during gift time):

My sweet Extra dog:

No celebration of my husband is complete without beer. Lots and lots of beer :-)

Here's a good tip for you - get that beer REALLY cold quickly by adding a little rock salt to the ice bucket. There was FROST on the outside of this bin within 15 minutes!

My gift to Luke was a set of these beautiful hand crafted beer glasses - there were four - red, blue, yellow, green:

And of course, we had to have a BBQ. Basque chorizo, Johnsonville brats, and hotdogs for the kiddos:

Happy Father's Day!

**********************************************

We got some rain today too - couldn't resist this beautiful rose with drops of rain decorating it:

You Can Tell A Lot About a Guy From Facebook

2010-06-19T22:55:00.000-06:00

I was clicking through my husband's Facebook profile pictures today, and it struck me how well the sum total of those little thumbnail sized pictures equal....him. I took the liberty of copying the photos and posting them here. I started to run out of time, so I didn't copy all the photos that he's posted in his "albums" (which are filled with the kids)...just the profile pictures.

It's fitting, you know. Your profile picture is the picture that shows up every time you leave a note or a comment - it's supposed to say to your friends "hey there - it's me - this picture says something about me."

Indeed.

Above all, no matter what life is demanding of him, Luke is about us...his family.

Sammy, in her monkey towel making her best monkey face (after her daddy gave her a bath):

Luke and yours truly on the west coast. He surprised me with a weekend trip to the beach for my birthday a couple of years ago. How did I get so lucky to get this guy?

His professional head-shot. He really IS that kind and trustworthy (can't you see it on his face?)! He's the hardest working man I've ever known. He's currently working himself silly...up at 5 in the morning, and sometimes not home until 9 or 10 at night.

There are few things Luke loves more than one of our babies with a goofy look on his/her face. You might think of me as the photographer, but Luke walks around with a camera (in his phone) 24/7.

Oh boy. This is us at our college graduation party. Seriously...HOW did I end up with this amazing man?! After all these years, he still calls me "my girl". And after all these years, he still makes my heart do flip-flops.

All of our babies showing their Vandal pride. Amazing...we have sons. And daughters. This is the most blessed bunch of kids on the planet. These boys only must look to their daddy to see what it means to be a good and kind and gentle and strong man of God. These girls will always expect a love that is nurturing and supportive and respectful and safe.

It's been said that the best thing a man can do for his children is to love his children's mom. One of the many reasons that Luke is "the best".

I love how Luke *always* makes me and our kids his top priority. And our kids all trust him and feel safe with him. They talk to him, share their dreams with him, and don't hesitate to simply run and jump in his arms. When he raises a hand, they do not flinch. When he says he'll be there, they do not doubt. When he says "I love you" and "I'm proud of you" (which he does often), they believe him. You can see it by the glisten in their eyes and the tall way in which they hold themselves when they're around him.

Happy Father's Day, to the most wonderful man I've ever known. Thank you for loving me so well. Thank you for being an incredible Daddy. I love you like crazy. Wanna have another baby? Just kidding. Maybe.

***********************************************

A quick note to my own Daddy...Happy Father's Day, Dad! You know, one of my greatest blessings is being your daughter. See this kind and hard-working man I married? See these happy children? See this strong woman? All of this is part of your legacy, Dad. You raised me to believe that marriage is love AND respect AND commitment. You raised an obedient and joyful kid, who's working hard to pass the same on to her children (hence, the happy kids). And you raised me to believe that I can do anything - it simply doesn't dawn on me that there is anything I can not do!

Most importantly, you live your life as a love note to the Lord. Seeing your walk with Him made it possible for me to know and love and trust Him...the greatest love I've ever known, and the source of my greatest peace and joy.

Thank you for just being you. I love you!

Before and After

2010-06-16T23:02:00.000-06:00

I finally took some pictures tonight. Just for the fun of it. And you know what? It was fun. I was rounding up some of my kiddos for bedtime, and ended up walking through my backyard - what a sight! The storm clouds were brewing, and just look at the picture I snapped of the back of our house:

Just look at that beautiful light! I decided to hop out to the front yard and snap a shot of some of my roses growing there. Here's the SOOC photo - flat and boring. So (of course) I spent some time playing with it after the kids were in bed.

I decided to go with the "antiqued" look for this pretty little rose. And then I played with the composition and added some pop with a texture layer. Isn't it pretty? I just might be getting back on the proverbial horse. Giddyup.