Call Her Blessed

Retirement

2012-01-23T12:28:00.002-07:00

I'm in my pre-trip panic zone. I am notoriously unproductive and flighty in the days before a big trip. There's some sort of disconnect in my brain that makes it seem more appropriate to play iPad games, re-pot houseplants, and eat lots of chocolate than to straighten the house, do the laundry, and pack. I'm leaving my love and my babies for 6 days?!

This time, I'm at least trying to make reasonably good use of my dysfunction ;-) I'm doing lots of cuddling and hugging and kissing with my little ones. I just want to soak them up before I go.

And yes, I admit, I sort of fear that my plane just might go down...leaving my children without their Mama. I want their last memories of me to be sweet ones.

I KNOW.... completely silly and irrational....but the truth.

So why am I leaving? Well, for a really great and exciting reason, actually. My Dad is RETIRING. I can hardly believe it! Although, I don't think this will be your standard retirement. It's more of a "moving on to something bigger and better". There's a big celebration in his honor, and I wouldn't miss it for anything.

I've been thinking about him and his career lately (for obvious reasons). Something just dawned on me lately. My Rodan + Fields business? I built a team logo recently and the general idea looks something like "Team Fouch....Faith. Family. Service." I chose the 'faith, family, service' to remind me of who I am and what this business means to me. It also speaks to the journey I've taken to really see what this thing is about....first, it was a leap of faith. A calling. Then, I began to realize what it would mean for my family. Finally, my vision became complete when I saw that this is a genuine blessing for me to share with others. It's an act of service - a way of giving back to the world.

But "Faith, Family, Serivce"?? I know now where those core values come from. They come straight from my amazing Mom and Dad. They've always been a team -- they're both retiring -- we're celebrating them both this week.

Faith -- our family moved all over the country. Dad took various positions as he was Called to do so. Mom was the ever-present support and center of our home. Moving was always okay because Mom and Dad made it clear that wherever we were together, that's where we were home. And in retrospect, we were following a heavenly Call, and when you follow? Everything turns out. Always.

Family -- no matter Dad's long hours. No matter business trips. No matter what.....it was always clear to all of us that WE....our family.....was #1 in Mom and Dad's book. Invaluable. I grew up feeling like my family was as solid as a rock. Jobs came and went. Houses came and went. Cities came and went. But our family was always together and the most important priority.

Service -- Mom and Dad have always taught us by example that life is best lived in service to others. Compassion. Love. Integrity. Hard Work. It's always been about building and offering something of value. It's as natural to me now as breathing. This lesson is one of the best gifts Mom and Dad gave me....it enables me to measure what I do against a high and True standard of Love.

As you can see, I'm incredibly proud to be "Bob and Ann's daughter" :-)

I just want to wrap up with words from my very own Thomas, who just walked in and blew me away....

Thomas, "Mama! Did you hear that? I just called you 'Mommy'. Did you hear? Know why I called you that?"

Me, "Why, sweetie?"

"Cuz 'Mommy' means BIG LOVE!"

Okay, I can go now :-)

Christmas 2011

2011-12-31T21:55:00.001-07:00

One of my favorite holiday traditions is to have a custom family tree ornament made. Our names and the year make it so fun to look back and see how our family has grown in the past 14 years. 14 years!

This Christmas was sweet and wonderful. We piled the decorations on the tree until it looked almost droopy. And since we celebrated at our own home this year instead of traveling, Santa took the opportunity to really spoil the kids. The highlight of the gifts this year? A wii to replace the one that no longer worked, and a bean bag chair for each kiddo :-)

We were blessed to be able to celebrate Christmas day with Grandpa Jim and Grandma June --- we had a nice day of opening gifts, deep-frying a turkey, and just generally stuffing ourselves silly :-)

We has lots of fun with the kids' school programs. These brave kids shocked me! Thomas was the star of the show (maybe just to us since he's the only one we had eyes for), and Clara actually got on stage and danced (blue shirt)!

This was a tough year of loss for us, and we really felt it this holiday season. We especially missed Luke's mom as we decorated our home with some of her special things. I felt good to have a little bit of her with us though...

This was also the first time in many years that we didn't celebrate with my parents. Thankfully, my Dad got to come out for a visit after Christmas (we missed you Yaya!). It's been so precious to watch my kids and Dad enjoy each other. I especially enjoyed watching Dad teach my kids the "catch the dollar" game that my grandpa used to play with us :-)

And here we sit enjoying the last few hours of 2011!

This has been a tough year, but s great year. I'm thankful for my healthy family, our cozy home, and the promise of a fabulous year to come. Happy 2012, friends!

Simple Gifts

2011-12-16T12:01:00.001-07:00

...are my favorite

But You Can Call Me "Slacker"

2011-12-08T13:23:00.001-07:00

As much as I'd like to be the blogger I once was, I'm just not. I can't say that I'm all that sorry either. Blogging used to be my way to "get out of the house" and communicate with the world. Now....I more often actually get out of the house and communicate with the world in a face to face way. I'm loving it.

My husband said to me recently "You seem more whole than I've ever known you to be."

He's right.

What I do miss though, is the (mostly) permanent record I was keeping of my little family's life. One of my favorite things is to look back through my old posts and photos. It's amazing how time flies!

I know myself well enough to know that I'm not going to get caught up any time soon -- my piles of old prints waiting to go in albums in the upstairs bedroom is evidence of my "slacker" tendencies. But I don't want to completely let the memories be lost, so I'll do a quick overview instead...

*********************

My baby boy is FOUR! Holy cow - I just can't believe it. He's the most loving, stubborn, energetic, and destructive kiddo I've ever known, and I wouldn't change a thing about him! He is a whirlwind of exploration, destruction, and hugs and kisses....I don't know half the time if I should be hollering at him or giggling at him. So most days? I do both simultaneously :-) I love you, little boy. I can already see the courageous and fun-loving man you'll grow to be, and I am so blessed to be your Mama.

As a side note....the day of his party was one of my hardest days. I was STUCK in San Francisco after an R+F event, and I thought I was going to miss his party because I would be getting in late. If you saw a haggard looking, over-tired, WAY emotional woman blubbering her way through the SF airport....it was likely me. I felt like a horrible mom, and nearly quit R+F all together. Thankfully, I didn't miss his party. Or quit R+F.

Samantha decided that she didn't want to play soccer this last season - so she was my buddy as we sat and watched her siblings play. There is simply no one who is easier to spend time with than my sweet little Sammy:

Ben is turning TEN this coming week! And Clara can wear my shoes even though she's only 8! I'm so proud of my kind-hearted, smart, wonderful big kids!

Clara came home with this little tidbit of joy....made my day:

Samantha took the lead of her older brother and sister, and started saving her money for her own iPod. She worked and saved for over a year, and finally had enough money to make her purchase after her recent birthday. Holy cow, I am SO proud of her!

Yup, Samantha is SIX. Why does six seem like it's about 3 decades older than five? She wanted a "flower" party with a daisy cake -- it was so fun to make it with her :-) We also found a pink poodle pinata, which was just perfect for my little girly-girl. Sammy is going through an interesting phase lately in which she HATES to be called "cute".

"Well Sammy, 'cute' is supposed to be a compliment.", I told her.

"But I don't LIKE it", was her reply.

"Okay. What should I say when you look especially nice then?"

"'Pretty' or 'beautiful'. 'Gorgeous' works too."

Well, okay!!

Samantha -- I love your sweet spunk! I love how you dance and sing and pretend. You are a gentle and loving spirit, and I just wouldn't be complete without you in my life and heart. I'm proud of you, my gorgeous girl!

My work with R+F is going great. I love the people, the "work", and the perks. I LOVE having a hope for our financial future that is now a joy to imagine. And to top it off, I earned a free iPad from R+F last month! My little heart goes pitter-patter every time the UPS guy drives by the house -- can't wait to get it!

Finally -- change -- change is in the air. The season has changed. The kids are growing. The business is growing. People in our lives are movin' and shakin'.....some in fun ways, some in painful ways, but all good. I've been in the mood for change too. I'm going to tackle painting the living room soon, but don't have time for that project today. Instead, I settled on a new, shorter 'do:

Have a great day, bloggy friends! Check back in another month or so for another update ;-) In the mean time, if you'd like to keep in touch with me on a more regular basis, you can find me on facebook here: Daiquiri fb

The Fridge

2011-11-30T10:28:00.001-07:00

You can tell a lot about a family by their fridge, don't you think?

We're not entirely tidy or organized, but we're full of activity, joy, and love.

Wouldn't trade this crazy life for anything....not even a perfectly clean house.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Experiment

2011-11-27T10:32:00.001-07:00

I've been struggling to blog from my phone because the photo quality is so lousy!

A photo sooc on my iPhone:

Too small, I think. Lets resize it to a width of 400:

It looks exactly the same on my phone, but I'll. ER it's blurry on a bigger screen.

Here's a shot I took and I ran it through a filter in Camera+ (one of my favorite iPhone camera apps). It's also resized to 400 wide:

And here's a shot sooc after taking it with a different photo app. It claims to turn your phone camera into a 12 MP camera. It's also resized to 400:

Any difference? Not to me on my phone...will have to go check on the bigger screen.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Daycare

2011-11-27T10:17:00.001-07:00

I'm sitting here watching my girls play "daycare"--which is interesting considering neither of them have ever been in daycare themselves :-) Apparently, they believe that it's all about the pillows...roughly 53 pillows. Ha!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thankful

2011-11-25T20:45:00.001-07:00

For sisters.
For my folks.
For my little family.
For pie.

But most of all, for the blessing of fresh starts and knowing that the ones I love are in Him.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

My Favorite Senior

2011-11-11T15:10:00.001-07:00

I did a recent shoot for my favorite senior in high school, Abby. Here's a peek:

And here's the link if you'd like to see more: Abby's Senior Shoot

Which is your favorite?

From the Mouth of My Babe

2011-11-11T09:28:00.001-07:00

Thomas is cracking me up this morning! We were sitting at the table while I sipped coffee, read my devotional, and prayed. It's a precious time to me each morning -- sitting there with my hot cup of coffee warming my hands and my Jesus warming my heart.

This morning, Thomas joined me because he was setting a puzzle at the table. I was fascinated to watch him -- I had no idea he was so good at setting a puzzle of that size! He finished it, all by his big boy self, and we high-fived and hugged to celebrate.

"Thomas! You did it! And you did that big puzzle all by yourself! How'd you get so smart?"

"Mama, you know!"

"I do? How?"

"Jesus put some smart stuff in me!"

Well of course!

And then, not 5 minutes later, Thomas came to the table to ask me to join him in the other room to see something he wanted to show me.

I admit, I was a little frustrated because he kept interrupting what was supposed to be my quiet time.

"I'll come see in a few minutes, buddy. I'm enjoying my time with Jesus right now."

"Mama! You're silly! Come now!"

"Why am I silly? No, I'm not coming now. I'll come see in a few minutes."

"No (with a grin), you come now. Jesus is with you everywhere, so you come now. You bring Jesus with you!"

I busted up laughing! I guess I can stop wondering if what we're teaching this little man of God is sinking in!

What a great way to spend my time with the Lord....seeing Him reflected in my little boy :-)

Crazy In Love

2011-11-10T09:16:00.002-07:00

Today, I'm just at a near loss for words.

Mighty
Awesome
Wonderful

I look out my window as I eat my breakfast. The neighbor's trees glow orange in the sun and the breeze sends those little flickers of light floating to the ground. Life is so beautiful. So fragile. So short.

My life is nothing more than those leaves. I sit and sip my coffee....enjoying the presence of my Lord.

He is everything. He is the beginning. He is the end. He is my everything in between. It is by His power and grace that I can do all things....including open my eyes and feel the breath fill my life for one more day. He is......stunning.

And I am....
well, I am nothing.
And I'm blissfully happy in this place of being nothing outside of Him.

How can being nothing feel so full and abundant? Only in Him who is everything.

I pray that this day, this moment, this and every thought and breath is as beautiful to Him as those glowing fall leaves floating on the breeze. May this little one of His bring joy to Him.....beauty to His throne room...fullness to His heart.

"Let my soul live that it may praise you."

Psalm 119:175

Is This Really My Life?!

2011-10-25T13:08:00.000-06:00

I recently had the opportunity to spend 4 days in San Francisco, CA with about 2,500 of my favorite people :-) It was a whirlwind long weekend of meeting incredible people, connecting with people I hadn't seen in a while, and learning so much that I thought my head might just explode. A few photo highlights:

I met our Doctors -- smart, beautiful, fun, generous.

I met our founding consultant -- not yet 30 years old, retired kindergarten teacher, in the biz for 2 1/2 years, and our first millionaire!

I met our CEO -- an icon in this industry

And I got a glimpse of my future when the President of the Direct Sales Association (sort of like the BBB for the standard brick and mortar business) spoke as a keynote speaker for the first time ever. He stood on stage, placed his hands on his hips, slowly shook his head back and forth, and looked at us with an incredulous look on his face.

"You just have NO. IDEA. what you all have here, do you? You are in precisely the right place, at the right time, in the right market, and with the right company. I've never seen anything like it.....it's the perfect storm!"

His vision of where we'll be in the next few years....where I'LL be in the next few years....absolutely took my breath away.

And oh man, did we have FUN! As I was walking down the sidewalk on the way to the convention center from our hotel for the 15th (or so) time, I turned to my friend and said, "Seriously! Pinch me! HOW is this my life?!" We laughed as we flip-flopped our way down the sidewalk with our heels tucked in our purses.

Life is good. It feels so wonderful to have a dream in my heart...

Catching Up Thru Photos

2011-10-25T12:08:00.001-06:00

I love fall in Boise!

Evidence of a happy weekend:

My favorite time of day in my office:

Crazy sleepy boy!

- Posted using BlogPress from iPhone

Humble Pie

2011-10-05T11:56:00.001-06:00

There's nothing like the honestly of children to keep a person humble. Sammy was my source of humility this morning. I was brushing her hair before school, and I asked her "If you sing while I brush your hair, will it make me young and beautiful?" (in reference to the recent movie "Tangled") Her reply?

"Well Mama, you're beautiful already, but you're sure not YOUNG."

Well ok!! :-) She sang me a pretty song anyway...I checked the mirror...nope, no change. I guess I'll stick with my new Anti-Age skin care instead.

The fact is, I wouldn't want to be younger....look younger, sure. But BE younger? No thanks. I wouldn't trade my life now for my life a year ago. And for my life 5 years ago? No way -- I wouldn't have my Thomas! Ten years? Ack -- no babies at all yet!

And frankly, there is no amount of money on earth that you could give me to make me willing to be a teenager again!

I'm loving life. My kids are strong and healthy and fun. My husband is my best friend and greatest love. I have God Himself watching over me and guiding my steps.

This.
Right Here.
Right Now.

Is precisely where I want to be.

It feels good to be able to say that, because I've been wondering lately if I'm on the right path. Shouldn't I devote myself full time to running my home and caring for my family? If I go back to work, shouldn't I make use of my engineering degree instead? What about photography?

In fact, someone asked me recently if I miss photography. It really gave me pause. Do I miss photography?

Well no. I don't. Mostly because I'm still shooting! But now, I'm shooting for ME. I'm not shooting to "get the shot" that someone will want to hang on the wall. I've gone back to my photography roots -- shooting God's beauty. It's a sort of prayer or meditation for me when I go out in the world with my camera. "Lord, show me You in this beauty. Help me capture it." And I shoot. I enjoy. I soak up a God who is in the vast expanse of the mountains and sunset....and is also in the details of the wings of butterflies.

"But what about making money as a photographer? What about taking family portraits?", he asked.

No. To be honest, I never made a whole lot of money at it. And it was physically difficult for me to spend all those hours crouched behind a lens, sweating the shot, and then processing on the computer and popping Tylenol to keep my arm, shoulder, and back from hurting with all that computer time.

But more importantly, I feel like I'm adding so much MORE value with what I'm doing now. I'm building something valuable and lasting for my family. I'm helping others do the same. And, when I compare hour for hour vs dollar for dollar.....I'm doing a much better thing for my family. Financial freedom around my family's needs.

But this work is certainly a life lesson for me. It's a team effort, which is hard for the fiercely independent like me. And there's an element of letting go of control that's scary for this type-A control freak. I wake up some mornings with a terrible stomach ache...only to realize that I'm not even breathing right. I want this so badly for my family and for each member of my team.....it has to be a deliberate choice for me each day to simply do my best and rest in that.

All I can do.....is all I can do.

In the end, it's really not about me at all. I believe that this is where God put me. This is what He's called me to. This family. This body. This business. It's where He wants me, and I'll give it my all....but at the end of the day everything about me is for HIM.

It feels good, really. Letting go of that burden to do it all perfectly all the time -- such a relief!

I'm so thankful that we have a Mighty God. A God who reminds me that all things are possible through HIM. All things are held together by HIM. My every thought is known by HIM.

It gets my eyes off of me, and on what really matters.....of course....Him!

Humility. It's not about me. It's about who I am relative to the One who matters most. The One who matters, period.

This humble pie? There's not a hint of bitter or sour in it. It's the sweet flavor of peace.....of trust....of rest in the One I live for.

"Humility is the fear of the LORD;

its wages are riches and honor and life."

Proverbs 22:4

A Lowly Lump of Clay

2011-09-12T13:16:00.001-06:00

I was frightened to the core last night.

Thomas, after having been up in bed for an hour, padded down the stairs looking a little pale in his soft jammies.

"Mama, come see! On my bed...come see! So yucky, you can't TOUCH it! So yucky! Come see!"

For the life of me, I couldn't figure out what he was talking about so I scooped him up and we went upstairs together. As we reached his room, he wriggled out of my arms so he could dash ahead of me into his room. Thomas snapped on the light and climbed up to his bed and pointed at the offending "yucky" on his bed.

I gasped in horror.

There on his bed, were 5 little plastic round toys -- just slightly bigger than marbles, about an inch in diameter each. They sat on Thomas' bed in a smelly puddle of vomit.

It was clear what had happened even before Thomas rushed to explain what I was seeing.

"I had them in my mouth, Mama. ALL of them in my mouth, and my cheeks went like this (as he puffed out his cheeks like a little blow-fish). And then, they all came out with the yucky stuff. SO yucky, Mama. You can't touch it!"

My mind was a whirlwind of anger....scolding him for putting things in his mouth....and of thanksgiving....thank you Lord for protecting him....and of terror....we would have just found him lying in his bed in the morning....he would have just been here all night long all by himself....and of panic....I simply can not protect these children, no matter how hard I try.

My night was one of restless nightmares and trying to control my thoughts from headed down the dreaded "what if" path. Taking my thoughts captive after something like that is harder than normal!

I turned to the Word this morning for a bit of encouragement and perspective. After all, I know that our days are numbered even before our birth. When it comes to ME, I'm just fine with that truth. But my children? I'm okay with that truth....just as long as their number comes up sometime AFTER mine does!

But who am I to hold on to that sort of control? Who am I to turn to the LORD and declare that it will be fine, and good, and He will be called loving....only as long as things go the way I think they should?

Yes, my heart was primarily thankful and awe-struck last night as I realized just what sort of holy ground my life is....ground made holy by God Almighty Himself stepping daily in and around my life and keeping His mighty wing of love and protection over me and my family. Breathtaking.

And yet, in His loving and gentle way, He brought me to my knees before Him as He showed me my heart of sin.

"Woe to the one who quarrels with his Maker -

An earthenware vessel among the vessels of earth!

Will the clay say to the potter, 'What are you doing?'"

Isaiah 45:9

I am that earthenware vessel....that lump of clay in the Master Potter's hand. Who am I to question His methods? His vision?

He's been lovingly and gently shaping me into the perfect vessel. But what if this clay gets a bit tough....will He add water to soften me....making me feel a bit like I'm drowning, but then revealing the beauty at the very last moment? Or will He simply smash the vessel that's distorted because of the tough clay in order to start again?

Or will He create a simple humble pot, when I desire a thing of beauty instead?

Or...will He create what seems a perfect, delicate, beautiful vessel to contain His Holy Spirit....only to smash and crack it so that the Spirit can more easily seep into the world though the cracks?

I won't lie. It's scary to think about.

It's scary in part because I've seen Him work in other people's lives....in ways that I fear would destroy me.

At the end of the day though, I have to rely on who I know Jesus to be. He is the lover of my soul. He is a warrior for my salvation. He endured the impossible because of His love for me. He sustained those people who I expected to be crushed under His hand.

He protected my little boy last night.

And so I sit here a lowly lump of clay in my Loving Potter's hands.

Lord, make my life a thing of beauty in Your sight.

And Lord....thank you for your grace and mercy last night and each night. Thank you for loving this silly little lump of clay.

Game-Changer

2011-09-08T16:43:00.001-06:00

You know, when I started my R+F business, I really had no clue as to what I was getting myself into! I thought I'd found a powerful opportunity. I thought that this could be a good thing for my family. I thought that I could be good at this.

The thinkin' is over -- I'm moving on to knowing.

I've written before about the fear, the doubt, and the way I've learned to live in this personal fox hole of mine...and I've mentioned the fun I had when I got to give a beautiful gift to a business partner of mine who is building an amazing team (I've given TWO of those away now!). But for the most part? I've deliberately avoided writing about business because I don't want to come on too strong.

I'm beginning to see that I'm not doing you any favors by keeping quiet.

Why am I suddenly excited to talk about this? What changed? Well....everything.

The first thing that changed was that I've seen amazing transformations in people's skin with my own eyes. I've seen a friend fix their sun damage with a few months and a couple hundred dollars instead of with the $4,000 and multiple rounds of laser treatment the doctor was suggesting. I've seen the healthy skin of my friend with serious eczema -- this friend had not been able to clap at her sons' ball games because her hands would crack and bleed on the spot -- she's healed for the first time in her adult life! I've seen acne flat out GONE after a week or two of product use. I've had a client call me giggling as she reported that she'd just been accused of "having work done" after using Anti-Age for a couple of months.

The products work, and people love them. I'm thrilled and honored to be the one to bring these goodies to the people in my life!

But most importantly? Even more important to me than helping people change their skin? Far and away, the most important part of my job is helping people change their LIVES.

I know. I'm sounding terribly melodramatic! In fact, I would have rolled my eyes at this blog post just a year ago. But then....the game changer. Two, actually.

The first game- changer happened when we were struggling through the painful time of nursing my husbands beloved mom in our home as her body gave out on her. We knew we only had a matter of weeks with her this side of heaven. Our number one priority, of course, was spending as much time as humanly possible with her until it was time for her to leave. The problem? We have bills. And 4 little kids. And one full time job....my husbands.

We didn't have the luxury of him simply staying home with his mom for weeks or months on end. We figured we could use some FMLA benefit while cutting back to 1/2 time and using some vacation time to collect minimal pay...but it wouldn't have been enough money to keep us afloat.

Just as we were desperate for answers and feeling like we were stuck in a storm of panic? My R+F paycheck arrived. It was, nearly to the penny, the amount we needed to cover the mortgage.

Praise God, and thank you Doctors Rodan and Fields! My husband was able to stay home full time with his mom during the last weeks of her life.

The second game-changer came with a phone call from one of my partners. I get VERY invested in the success of my partners -- sharing this opportunity and helping people start and build their own businesses with this amazing company is my passion. So when my friend and partner called to share some news with me, I took it very personally...

"Daiquiri, I just called to give you some news. You know my desk job? The one I hate? The one that's been sucking the life out of me? I QUIT. I quit because my R+F income replaced that paycheck! Thank you so much for sharing this business with me!!"

I had to pull the car over to cry, I was so happy!

Is she a millionaire? No (not yet). In fact, some might look at her paycheck and think it wasn't very much money. But to her and her family, that was life-changing money. She has freedom from a job that was making her miserable.

Game. Changer.

I could go on and on. I'm waaaay excited about this, and I could talk all day about the billion dollar brand backing my home-based business, the products, this company and business model, and the fact that I -- little ole me!-- get to be one of the very FIRST people to launch this company....someone PINCH me! :-)

But I'll stop. Just know this -- if you have issues with your skin, I would love to help you. And if you're looking to change your life -- I would be honored and privileged to help you build your own business. There's a "contact me" tab at the top of this blog, and you can reach me there or you can simply comment here and we can set up a time to talk more.

Be blessed, friends!

God is in the Thomas-isms

2011-09-01T14:22:00.001-06:00

This little boy keeps me on my toes. I'm continually amazed by the words that come out of my mouth when I'm interacting with him....a small sampling (just from today):

"Thomas, please take your dirty toes out of your mouth"

"Why?"

"Because your toes have dirt and germs on them. Don't put them in your mouth."

"Why?"

"Dirt and germs can make you sick and your Mama thinks it's icky. Please. Just take the toes out of your mouth!"

"I wub my tosies!" (in a slightly offended tone)

"I love your toes to, buddy, but they still don't go in your mouth."

"Mama. You 'atend you in da office and I in the pway-woom." (pretend you're in the office and I'm in the play room)

"Why? So that you can pretend I'm not telling you to take your toes out of your mouth?"

"Yeah."

How am I having this conversation?!

Sometimes it's not nearly as detailed an interaction. Sometimes it's as simple as "Make sure that thing is pointing DOWN when you pee!"

Or, a conversation that I have often....a tidbit from about 20 minutes ago:

I heard Thomas telling Sammy "Heeelp! Get Mama for me!"

I walked in the living room to find him with his head stuck in a strange place between the seat of the glider and it's metal frame. I helped him get his noggin loose and then said,

"Thomas, do not put your head in strange holes okay? It's just not safe! In fact, as a general rule in life, keep your head out of holes as much as possible."

"Much a pow-i-bow?"

"Yes, as much as possible."

"Ok Mama"

Seriously. "Don't put your head/foot/finger/arm/toy in that hole" would have made me a wealthy woman if nickels fell from the sky every time I said them!

And every now and then, I hear God chuckling with me and responding with his own "Yeah! That goes for you too, Daiquiri!" just as I heard today at lunch time.

Goldfish crackers. Sliced up hotdog. A bowl of pineapple. Milk with some chocolate sprinkled in it, and served in a cup with a lid and straw....just how he likes it. Barney singing on the TV in the background.

Thomas saw those hot dogs and went right to town -- loaded his fork all the way up.

"I eat ALL my hog-gogs, Mama!"

"Okay, that's good! Wait....eat them one at a time though."

"NO! I eat dem ALL!", as he continued to skewer those sad little circles of meat.

"No, sweetie. You sure CAN eat all of your hot dog, but putting them all in your mouth at the same time is not a good idea. You'll choke! Please eat them one piece at a time."

"Awwww. Mama, you make me so MAD!"

"Hey..."

"Okay Mama", as he plucked the pieces from his fork and deposited them back on his plate.

It was one of those "Yeah, you too" moments from Heaven.

Do you ever feel like you're that little boy, excitedly trying to do everything ALL at ONCE? I do! And some days I lie in bed in the morning and am positively overwhelmed by what my day holds. Or I find myself wandering around the house gathering up the clutter with one hand, checking messages on my phone with the other, and shouting nuggets of motherly wisdom over my shoulder to my bickering kids. All the while, my metal to-do list is running through my head and I'm feeling like I just might choke.

I love my life, don't get me wrong. I'm living the dream! Wife, mom, friend, sister, daughter, homemaker, writer, business woman. I truly love my life.

It's just that I feel like I'm often the kid who's enthusiastically tackling EVERY SINGLE thing I have going on all at the same time. I need to slow down. Sure, I certainly can have it all....I just need to do it bite by little bite! I CAN have it all, just not all at the same time.

God speaks to us in so many little ways if we're just listening. Today, it's "slow down, do your day piece by piece, and enjoy the meal."

Who knows, tomorrow it might be "Daiquiri, get your head out of that strange hole" ;-)

All Better

2011-08-26T14:57:00.000-06:00

Well, it wasn't but a couple of days ago that Sammy was terrified to start kindergarten. But today? She seems to be over it. She casually looked up at me while strapping her little white sandals on and said, "Mama, you don't need to pick me up from school today. I'll just take the bus."

Well, okay then!

I have to share my favorite recent picture of her in the new dress Daddy bought her, and that came with a matching dress for her baby doll:

Sweet Sammy and the Slow Death of her Mommy

2011-08-23T12:17:00.000-06:00

I heard the bedroom door click open quietly, and soft little feet padded their way to my bedside. I opened one of my eyes a sliver to see who it was, even though I already knew just by the rhythm of her breath. Sammy said, "Mama, can I nuggle with you?" "Sure, baby, climb in."

Her sweet smelling head of silky blond curls spread across the pillow as she tucked her body in against mine and laid her arm across my neck to pull me tight. This little girl of mine. A significant portion of my heart and soul resides wherever she is. I don't quite feel whole unless her soft warm body is pressed against mine. I kiss her forehead, her cheeks, her little button nose that's starting to show freckles, her closed eyelids. "You're my favorite Mama" she purrs. "You're so special to me Sammy -- I love you with my whole heart" is my reply.

My heart breaks a little bit with the thought that this is the last snuggle of the summer. She starts kindergarten tomorrow. Every single day. My Sammy will be away from me every single day. I hardly know what to do with myself at the thought of it. I'm sad and will miss her. I'm nervous for her. I'm overjoyed and excited for her and this new adventure. I'm proud of her and the little lady she is.

But she's not only growing up. She's growing away....away from me like she should. Like she must, I suppose. God has plans for her that are bigger than snuggling with her Mama every day. Sigh.

I'm not the only one who's feeling the strain. Samantha announced yesterday that she was done with grownups and that she was running away.

"Oh, Sammy, I'm so sad to hear that. Why do you want to get away from grownups all of a sudden?"

"Because they keep making me do things I don't want to do!"

"Like what?"

"Like go to kindergarten when I just feel too shy to go!"

"Ahhh, I see. Well, what are you going to pack?"

"Well, I'll need some duct tape to trap kidnappers. And I'll need a big pan from the kitchen so I can roast up animals for food. And my money. And the new dress Daddy bought me. And a tent or something to keep birds from pooping on me. Will you help me find my Tinkerbell backpack?"

She was busy all morning packing her "runaway bags", while I made homemade pancakes for her breakfast and poured myself some coffee.

I can hear her thinking out loud about what she needs. She has her backpack, red purse, and purple bag all packed and ready to go. I looked up from the kitchen as she said "Okay, everyone! It's time to come say goodbye!" She had taken it upon herself to get dressed, but on her shoes, and take a potty break before the big moment.

Then, in a whisper, with the straps of her runaway bags cris-crossing her chest...."Mommy, I'm going out the front and will you come with me?"

So we head out the front door and down the sidewalk as she tells me all about the injustices that grownups have burdened her little life with.

"Well, first of all, they make me do things I'm afraid to do. AND they make all sorts of rules and laws. AND they don't let me have dessert enough. AND they make me go to bed way to early. Mama, I'm a little worried about running away."

"Yeah, I'm a little worried too. I'm really going to miss you and I hate the idea of you being out there all alone. Why are you worried?"

"I'm worried because these bags are really heavy. And what if the police see me out here walking around without a grown-up? They'll want to talk to me and I can't run away from them with these heavy bags!"

"The police are good and safe, right? They help you. You don't have to run away from them."

"Yeah, I guess. And Mama -- do you think you have enough pictures of me to remember me really well? I don't think I have any pictures of my family with me."

"It should be easy to remember me, Sammy. Do you know why?"

"Why?"

"Well, because you have my heart with you. I know this because my heart hurts a little bit every time I'm away from you. I figure it must be because you have a little piece of my heart with you."

"Hmmm. Mommy....these bags are REALLY heavy. Do you think you could carry one?"

"Wait, you're running away and I'm supposed to carry the bags?!"

"You ARE the grown-up, Mama", with a sweet tinkling giggle.

"Okay, but I'll only carry them home. Are you ready to go back home?"

"Yeah. It's hot out here. And I don't have a tent so the birds could poop on me any time!"

She breaks into a skip as she heads back home, her ponytail bobbing behind her. Oh, little girl, I adore you.

Our leaving the nest adventure is done for today, but tomorrow is another story. She'll wear her special dress that Daddy bought for her. We'll do her hair in "a pretty or beautiful way because I'm sick of CUTE!" And I'll walk her into her classroom. And I'll leave her there. I'll leave. her. there.

I'll do what I need to do. I'll be the joyful and excited and encouraging Mommy who "can't WAIT to hear about all of your big-girl adventures in kindergarten!" I'll buy the special first-day-of-school ice cream cone. But me and this heart of mine....I'm not sure that we're going to make it.

Cleaning Day

2011-08-21T15:16:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was quite the day. It was cleaning day for me, in more ways than one.

I've been on the verge of something lately - I could feel it. I could feel God knocking at the door of my heart, but just didn't quite know what to do about it. I was stuck somewhere between "Who closed that door?" and "Ugh. Again? I hate this process. I have too much to do to stop and just listen and rest. Not now!"

But, as I said, yesterday was cleaning day. The windows. The patio. The kitchen. The pantry. The bathrooms.

And my heart.

It's always amazing and disturbing to me to realize how quick and easy it is for me to wander from my heart's true home....so easy for me to take my eyes off of Him and get focused on me, mine, and I!

The day started with resentment. I woke to a sticky kitchen floor, an overflowing bathroom garbage, and smelly toilets. Not to mention the piles of dishes on the kitchen counter. Why me? Doesn't a single other person in this family of 6 see that these things need to be done? Never mind. I'll just do it. And then I'll do it again tomorrow because it never stays clean. I cranked the worship music and got to work (but without a heart full of worship). Woe is me.

Then I moved on to defeated. I'm a failure in so many ways. I can't keep my house clean. I can't keep up on the laundry. I didn't do half of what I wanted to do with the kids this summer and school starts again this week. I'm 30 pounds over-weight and I feel powerless to change it even though I've been eating well and exercising like crazy. I feel a bit stalled out in my business and "everyone" seems to disapprove of the way I'm doing things. Woe is me.

Next came angry. Who cares if "everyone" approves? All I can offer is me and my way of doing things - if they don't like it, tough! And where are the garbage bags? I'm just going to toss all this crap in the garbage can. If the kids can't pick up after themselves, I'm not going to either! And to heck with weight loss - I had four babies and this body of mine is healthy and strong. Pass the chips and salsa!

Then, finally, broken. I locked the bedroom door, sat on the floor, my hands still smelling of window cleaner and Comet...and I cried. "I'm a mess here, and I don't know what do do about it. All of this that I'm upset about....just take it please. Take it and fix it. I can't carry it anymore! I'm just not strong enough, and even when I am carrying it, I do a lousy job. Help!"

To summarize....I got over myself, and it felt so great.

That crazy peace beyond understanding washed over me, and my Abba held me on His lap and assured me that all would be fine....in His time and His way.

Now, to just stay here, that's the challenge. How can something so simple be so difficult? Keep my eyes on Him and let Him take care of the rest. Trust Him. Rest in Him. Delight in Him. I WANT to stay here....but there's just something about this world that makes it tough! Thank goodness for His grace and mercy fresh each day.

Last night, I was browsing through "Pinterest" before bed, and I came across the most perfect little saying:

Here's to being happily weak and at peace... in the arms of a very strong and capable God.

Trust in the LORD and do good;

Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.

Delight yourself in the LORD;

And He will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the LORD,

Trust also in Him, and He will do it.

He will bring forth your righteousness as the light

And your judgment as the noonday.

~Psalm 37:3-6

Sunday Drive

2011-08-01T10:26:00.000-06:00

This little girl has stolen my heart.

She is soft and sweet and tender and always lost in her imagination.

I wonder what's going through her mind in this picture. Is she in her pretend world where she is a princess and the trees outside her window are part of her kingdom? Or is she just enjoying the sensation of the wind pressing against her hand and blowing her hair back?

Sweet girl....your mama is crazy in love with you.

Summertime Fun

2011-07-29T17:44:00.001-06:00

Well, this is a first! This is my maiden voyage into the world of on-the-go blogging. They say that there's an app for everything and I'm starting to believe it!

This first picture (uploaded straight from my phone!!) is what I came home to this afternoon...card houses like nothing I'd ever seen before! I guess this is what happens when you have a structural engineer for a daddy :-)

And here's a picture of me and my little paper-clip warrior. He made himself a 'helmet' out of paper clips, and this is his I'm-so-tough-but-I-also-can't-stop-smiling look. Scary. Wouldn't want to run into him in a dark alley, would ya?

They saw the camera come out so the girls came running. My oldest is somewhere doing what he loves most -- playing games on his iPod.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Possibly the Best Photo I've Ever Taken

2011-07-20T13:21:00.000-06:00

Sure, it's a tad blurry...but I think the full emotion going on is pretty well captured ;-)

Family Pic

2011-07-19T16:18:00.000-06:00

We enjoyed our annual trip to my parents' lakeside cottage a couple of weeks ago -- what a breath of fresh and relaxation that was! More fun pic to follow...

Life, Death, and the Inbetween

2011-07-10T10:00:00.002-06:00

There's heavy stuff going on in my heart, can you tell?

I guess it's to be expected. I'd suspect that there's something seriously wrong with me if I could see two loved ones die, and not have some pretty deep thinking to do.

Deep thinking....that's what I'm all about these days. That, at eating massive amounts of fatty, salty, crunch, spicy, and chocolaty foods. The thinking and the eating seem to go hand in hand for me.

Oh boy. I thought I could write about this today.

I can't.

Till later...