Job Opportunity WIN. (Link)

Keeping the balance in the strip club. (Link)

The ugly truth.

Target your aud*ence.

Help Wanted sign that makes unemployment more appealing.

Ok, we get that you are in a hurry. (Link)

… I’ve played the game Clue. Does that count? (Link)

I’m a SYM master!

Don’t you want at least a little? Also, you really can’t provide the tools? (Link)

Clever idea.

These Bronx Zoo baby otters were born near the end of October, making them just old enough to participate in a Christmas-themed family photo only a month and a half later. Judging by those mugs, these two would rather get presents than sit around taking photos. (Photo) The London Zoo goes all out when it comes to ensuring their critters have a very Merry Christmas -and here are all their happy charges enjoying their tasty and cheerful holiday treats. Even if Pumpkin could fly, I just don’t think he’s quite strong enough to join Santa’s sleigh team, but at least his heart is in the right place. (Photo) Have you ever wondered what a Tom and Jerry Christmas special would look like if the cat and mouse were real? Well, this video might just answer your question. Fuku’s delightful reindeer hat won him the Cute Overload 2011 Hat-Off and, boy, does he ever look proud. (Photo) Just because Oskar is blind doesn’t mean she can’t see how fun it would be to play with this artificial Christmas tree that her owners are putting up. These two are just here to wish you a Bunny Christmas. (Photo) Does your tree look a little bland this year? Then consider letting some chinchillas run around in it to spruce things up a bit. Lizards might not be the first critters you think of when you think about Christmas, but that might be because they’ve never looked quite this festive before. (Photo) This artificial tree might not be all the way up yet, but that won’t stop Whiskey from a****king the branches. Perl here is ready to traverse any winter wonderland with her stylish hat and sweater combo. (Photo) Here is Dante the African Grey Parrot squawking you a “Merry Christmas.” These two cute ferrets certainly don’t need mistletoe to get their Christmas smooches ready. (Photo) Teddy the Talking Porcupine is a big fan of Christmas, as long as it means he gets to enjoy delicious gingerbread treats. Christmas brings people together like no other time of year -and seeing these dogs together with this cat, you can tell the same is true when it comes to critters. (Photo) Here are the gorgeous felines from the Big Cat Sanctuary unwrapping and enjoying their presents. Grapes on pine cones and bags full of other treats? This baby wallaby might have no idea what Christmas is all about, but he certainly is enjoying it. (Photo) What does box-loving Maru have in his stocking? Himself, of course, and he couldn’t be happier about it. Nativity scenes have really gone to the dogs over the last few years -and that is a good thing when it is quite literal. (Photo) Here is little Bo Obama inspecting the amazing array of Christmas decorations in the White House.

Recipe for Ice

There are tons of DIY recipe sites on the Web, and ChrissyG decided she wanted to share hers for making ice cubes. It doesn’t seem like a joke – there are no obvious gags in her directions, which include “take the trays over to the sink and fill them with cold water” and “place the water filled ice trays back in the freezer.” Right away, however, the comments lampooned it: “This recipe is horrible! Maybe I should have left them in longer than two minutes (the recipe doesn’t say how long to leave them in the freezer so I just kind of guessed) but mine came out all watery. I won’t be making these again.” Also, “I was wondering if you had a crock-pot version for this recipe. I work long hours and I just don’t have the time to invest in this kind of hands-on cooking, but they really look yummy.”
These are just 2 of the 550 comments, all hilarious.

(Link | Via | Photo)

a******nplex in Topeka, KS

Here’s an example of people taking a gag and running with it. The satirical newspaper The Onion wrote a story about a giant “a******nplex” being built in Topeka, Kansas. Not only did GOP Congressman John Fleming believe it was real, causing its own uproar, but someone kept the gag rolling by creating a Yelp page for the “business.” Chelsea B. was the first to create a review, saying “maybe this will be good spot to hang out after Mother’s Day brunch!” One reviewer gave it 1 star, saying, “Does not accept Food Stamps.” This is pretty dark humor, much in the spirit of The Onion, and provoked a lively debate and commentary thread.
(Link 1 | Link 2 | Via | Photo)

Veet for Men

Amazon is a hotbed for silly comment threads in their product reviews. In this case, a Brit named Andrew took a hair removal product for men and made it funny with his emphatic headline “DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS.” His detailed description of his experience ends with, “I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.” Other jokers followed suit, claiming to use it for pubic hair removal (which is not recommended by the manufacturer), with painful – and hilarious – results.
(Link | Via | Photo)

Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt

This is perhaps one of the first instances of comment hijacking. The black t-shirt, depicting three wolves howling at a full moon, didn’t receive much attention until Bee Govern from New Jersey tells a detailed story of wearing it to Wal-Mart and picking up a girl, ending with, “Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women. Cons: Only 3 wolves.” Then people started going crazy, with one person claiming that his “doctor says the c****r has gone into remission” and another stating, “since wearing the shirt, I can now control stoplights with my mind.”
(Buy it Here | Via)

Source Code Comment Thread

This one’s for all the nerds out there. Sometimes programmers leave messages as comments in the lines of code, usually for professional use. Other times, they leave snarky and/or silly messages for other coders. One tech website asked a simple question: “What is the best comment in a source code you have ever encountered?” and the resulting flood of comments about comments are now available for you to enjoy. Hits include: “//When I wrote this, only God and I understood what I was doing //Now, God only knows,” and “// drunk, fix later.”
(Link)

Fark “Guess What?” Thread

OK, this one’s on the silly/childish side, but they should have expected it. It’s a posting to Fark.com, a news gathering site, where people offer their own spin on the news post “Tour of cave canceled after discovery of guess what in a cave?”

Of course, everyone and their mother had to chime in, with comments ranging from “chicken butt” to “Osama Bin Laden.” Some are inspired, some insipid, but it’s still an entertaining read.
(Link)

Fodor’s 3-Word Story Thread

Popular travel site Fodor’s is another great place to find hilarious people commenting on different threads. Really funny ones include “Pray for the Leg!” where tracys2cents hopes her grandma’s artificial leg is still in her lost luggage, and BillynBettyJones who ask, “Where is Count Chockula’s Castle?” However, the most creative, collaborative, and wackiest thread is the one where commenters each added a three-word line to create an incredibly long, weird tale through 429 replies.

(Link 1 | Link 2 | Link 3 | Via)

Rachel Ray’s “Light Night Bacon”

Food Network personality Rachel Ray is known for easy-to-make recipes, but her recipe for “Late Night Bacon” was just a little too simplistic not to ridicule: basically, she told you to put strips of bacon on a paper towel and microwave. At first, people actually liked the recipe – the first few comments are real and positive. Then they began to get snarkier, with devilmaster asking if “different paper towels bring different flavours or textures to the meal?” Then all hell broke loose with a variety of hilarious comments, including cookonthefly who asked, “Rachel, do you have a great recipe for ice that’s not too complicated?” thereby tying it in to the Ice Cube Recipe – nice work!
(Link | Via | Photo)

“Gone With The Wind” in Smileys

Finally, we’ll leave you with one of the most creative uses of a comment thread we’ve ever seen. Democratic Underground is normally a website for political commentary; however, in The Lounge anything goes. One clever poster created the entire plot of “Gone With The Wind” in various Smiley Icons. Quite simply, it has to be seen to be believed (and enjoyed).
(Link | Photo)

(Via)

Keyboard Plate

Found on Etsy, this unique hand-made piano key plate is an instant conversation-starter. (Link | Photo)

Guitar-Shaped Sk**let

Perfect for sizzling acoustic riffs. Also, for frying stuff. That too. (Buy it Here)

Music Motif Cookie Cutters

Also good for making pancakes. (Link)

Guitar-Shaped Spatula

Perfect for flipping those musical pancakes! (Buy it Here)

Get Chopin Cutting Board

Chopin, choppin’…. We see what you did there. (Link | Photo)

Shredder Cheese Grater

This thing really shreds. (Link)

Mix Up The Menu Cutting Board

Does anyone remember cassette tapes? This retro cutting board reminds us of making the perfect mix tape. (Link)

Boom Box Mug

Speaking of retro, check out this awesome coffee mug that is designed to look like a portable stereo. (Link)

Cool Jazz Ice Cube Tray

Stir up your cocktail with this funky ice cube/stirrer combo. (Buy it Here)

Mix Stix Spoons

For the drummer in your life, these mixing spoons are half drum stick, half wooden spoon. (Buy it Here)

UV Tattoos have always seemed pretty gimmicky to me, until now. Finally a use of the glow in the dark ink that actually makes sense! Done by tattoo artist Kennith Bryan of Intimate Body Art Studios, this is really great work, and I am sure Yoda would approve. In this case, this dedicated Star Wars fan is definitely doing and not trying. (Link | Via)

This tattoo is not Photoshopped -it IS Photoshop! Megan Orsi is “the girl with the Photoshop tattoo.” The web designer started using Photoshop in middle school, and just recently got the toolbar inked on her arm. (Link | Via)

Tardar Sauce, aka Grumpy Cat, has finally reached the ultimate point of internet stardom by becoming the subject of a tattoo. The person sporting this grumpy ink clearly knows how Tard feels, and has agreed to Hate Everything for the rest of their life. (Link | Via)

You knew it was coming. Here it is: the tattoo of Psy of Gangnam Style fame by music lover and tattoo artist Jefferson Bernardo Correa, AKA Jeffinho Tattow. Most excellent! (Via)

Flowers, angels, hearts or a beloved’s name figure among the most popular tattoo designs. An insulin pump isn’t even on the list. However, for the parents of a five-year-old Quebec boy with Type 1 diabetes, getting inked with an image of a pump — in the same spot on their bellies as their son is outfitted with a real pump — is an act of love.

Camille Boivin and Philippe Aumond of La Sarre, Que. sought out a tattoo artist in Joliette — a nine-hour drive from their home — to re-create a pump that their boy Jacob, 5, has to wear for his survival.
(Link)

This is Eric Hartsburg, an Indiana man who tattooed the Romney-Ryan campaign logo on his face after auctioning off the stunt for $5,000 on eBay. Now he wants to get his tattoo lasered off. It’s going to cost thousands of dollars and take about a year. (Link)

A Dutch tattoo artist has created an incredible optical illusion artwork on her daughter’s forearm that makes it look like she’s taking a photograph. Brunssum-based tattoo artist Helma van der Weide’s tattoo for her daughter Lotte van den Acker shows a vintage 1970s Ashahi Pentax 35mm SLR, an iconic design that influenced generations of cameras.

The picture has received more than 35,000 likes on the Tattooed Women Facebook page.
(Via)

A grandmother who was left completely bald by alopecia has ditched her wig in favor of something a little more permanent – a tattoo covering her entire head. Ann McDonald, 60, suffers from alopecia and also has a thyroid problem which resulted in all of her hair falling out three years ago. The grandmother-of-three was inspired to get the overlapping floral design, which cost £720, after becoming fed up with having to wear wigs and hats. (Link)

Tattoo with a matching owl necklace. (Link)

Barmy Baz Franks spent £1,000 and six hours in the dentist’s chair to get his royal “gnasher tat,” and it wasn’t even done in p****n. (Link)

Clock Safe

This sleek silver clock ($13.10) matches any decor and, although this may look like an ordinary clock, it has a secret hidden compartment where you can hide your valuables. With a simple hinged design, it is the perfect hiding place for jewelry, cash & more. (Buy it Here)

Outlet Safe

The Hidden Wall Outlet Safe ($8.59) is a non-functioning outlet with a hidden compartment for valuables behind the face. Perfect for hiding jewelry, cash, credit cards and more. (Buy it Here)

Pringles Can Safe

Made from an actual Pringles can. The factory sealed can top even has a top layer of chips covering the safe pot ($23.99). (Buy it Here)

Hair Brush Safe

This unique Hair Brush Stash Safe ($17.99) allows you to hide lots of money inside this common household product! (Buy it Here)

Del Monte Can Safe

The Del Monte Can Safe Storage Container ($10.98) is a genuine product container remanufactured into a secret storage container. Just screw off the bottom. (Buy it Here)

Tank Top Safe

What looks like a tank top actually hides valuables.. Made of cotton, this tank top safe ($9.99) looks and feels like the real thing. (Buy it Here)

Lettuce Safe

Place this realistic head of Iceberg Lettuce in your refrigerator with your most valuable small items inside for safekeeping. (Link)

Coca-Cola Can Safe

Effectively hide items anywhere in your home, office or while you travel. This Coke safe ($8.00) is made from an actual product container. Just unscrew the bottom. (Buy it Here)

Candle Safe

The candle safes ($24.99) are made of 100% candle wax. Nobody would ever suspect the candle sitting on your table is actually holding your most prized possessions. (Buy it Here)

Bread Safe

This Bread Safe is made to look like the actual product, but it’s actually a container safe. Without so much as a seam, the bottom snaps off to reveal a secret hiding place. (Link)

(Link)

At first glance, this man looks like he is part-man, part-wolf, but look closely and you will see that it is actually a giant birthmark and body hair. Zhang Hongming from Chongqing, south-eastern China, is nicknamed “Chimpanzee.” He appealed to doctors for help in getting rid of the thick black hair that covers part of his body.

The man has a rare birthmark that also covers a large part of his body. Such birthmarks are seen on no more than 3 percent of the world’s population. (Link)

For two-year-old Connie Lloyd, there was nothing amusing about having a bright red “clown’s nose.” Born with a benign tumor that grew to cover her nose, she suffered cruel taunts and name-calling and was told that the rare condition could not be cured. However, the shy little girl has a reason to smile at last after surgeons defied the odds and left her with a “nose like mum’s.” (Link)

A young lad branded “turtle boy” because of a huge shell-like growth on his body is finally free of the birthmark thanks to a British surgeon. Little Did*er Montalvo suffered from Congenital Melanocytic Nevus, which meant a mole grew so large that it almost covered his entire back.

The six-year-old from Colombia was teased and banned from going to school because of the growth.

Locals in his village feared that he had been cursed by evil forces because he was conceived during an eclipse. Also, his mum, Luz, could not afford to pay for surgery to help rid her son of the birthmark blighting his life. However, when plastic surgeon Neil Bulstrode, from Great Ormond Street Hospital in London, heard about the boy’s plight, he and his team flew to Bogotá to operate on him.

They eventually managed to remove the mole with a series of skin grafts.
(Link)

Doctors have treated a young boy with a large birthmark on his face… by implanting horns in his forehead. George Ashman, 5, was born with a bright red blemish on his forehead and his mother Karen, 33, feared he would endure a lifetime of bullying. So, when he was four he underwent a surgical procedure to stretch the ‘normal’ skin on his forehead so the birthmark could be removed and covered with the new unblemished tissue.

Doctors inserted two tissue expanders under the skin, which gradually inflated so they looked like two perfect devil’s horns. After four months the implants were removed and the blemish was cut out, allowing the new skin to be st*tched together, leaving just a small Harry Potter-style scar on George’s forehead.

During the four months when he had the horns, George was subjected to cruel taunts from passers-by.
(Via)

A six-year-old girl has baffled medics after her skin apparently turned her into “cow hide” girl. Until just a few months ago, Li Xiaoyuan had just a small birthmark on her back.

However, the hairy hide has apparently grown until it now spreads over her entire back and is starting to grow on her arms and face.

Surgeon Dr. Lou Zhongquan of Zhaoqing City Dermatological Hospital believes that the youngster may be suffering from a rare hereditary disease that has sent normal moles out of control.
(Link)

A 16g tragus on a birthmark. Piercing by Cale Belford (Rurekk) @ Anchors Away Tattoo. (Link)

An eight-year-old Chinese boy who has a large birthmark covering one side of his face is going to receive free surgery to remove it. An Qi was born with the large birthmark, which covers the right side of his face. As he has grown older the mark has grown further and has also grown thick black hair. Min Yi Plastic Surgery Hospital in Changchun has now agreed to waive its treatment fee. Zheng Xiaoqin, president of the hospital, said it’s rare to have such a large hairy mole on the face and An’s treatment will be in four stages. (Link)

In 2010, a “Holy Cow” Moses was born at a dairy farm in Sterling, Connecticut. Moses was born with a unique “birthmark” that looks like a white cross on its forehead. (Link)

This puppy was born in Japan with a large, clear, love-heart-shaped pattern in his coat. The Chihuahua was born in May 2008 as one of a litter belonging to a breeder. Shop owner Emiko Sakurada said it was the first time a puppy with the marks had been born out of a thousand she had bred. She had no plans to sell the puppy, which has been named “Heart-kun.” The long-coated male Chihuahua puppy was born in Odate, Northern Japan. (Link)

An unusual cat on a cat’s back.

Let’s hear a round of applause for the parents who go the extra mile to make their kids happy.