All that to say… I feel you. I do.

Before I was diagnosed with cancer last summer… I thought all of the pink ribbons was pure overkill and a bad example of how something good can quickly be distorted. And then last October, I had to go through chemotherapy while looking at pink ribbons every where I turned. It angered me deeply and made me cry almost every moment of every day. Its hard enough to have a devastating illness but to be consistently and constantly reminded that its there and there’s no cure and you’re just going to have to suffer — assuming you don’t die of it — can be too much.

I read your post thinking it would anger me, but it didn’t. I can understand why you feel the way you do. But I wonder if any one can understand why I feel the way I do. How do I say this? Every where I turn, there is a pink ribbon. On a car. On a bracelet. On a t-shirt. On a cup… at a bakery. Just everywhere. There is NO ESCAPE.

Right now, I’m transitioning back to “normal” life — whatever that is. My treatments are almost done so its time to return to work. The pink ribbon movement has sort of imprisoned me in a particular place. I can either embrace it, or spend extraordinary energy trying to ignore it. I’m actually choosing the former. But honestly… it feels like a burden. I am now the poster child for breast cancer for everyone who knows me. I represent what they fear most for themselves or their loved ones. The pink ribbons don’t give me strength or even hope right now — just another label I get to wear for someone else’s benefit.

So… while you may feel like the wallflower at the dance. I feel like the girl forced to be in the spotlight. Neither seems like a really comfortable place to be.

Anyway’s, I had ordered a shirt for a dear friend of mine who has stage iv lung cancer and i had not heard anything back or received it, so thought I would send you a quick email to let you know I had done so. Paypal did go through though.

You can email me back whenever you get a chance!

Glad to hear you are doing great!!!!

Lisa

I was just as glad to see the end of all that as I was to see the end of Presidential campaging in the US on Nov 4th!!

I’m entirely glad that I’m not the only one that has that funky feeling inside as I walk past the shelves and shelves of endless pink everywhere.

I try to be normal, I try to be polite (sometimes) but it’s f’ing tough. I’m coming up on treament #6 of 12 and already have been back to work for over a month.

A great example of both these happened about 3′ish weeks ago:

I know I don’t feel good, but I’m tired sitting at home, but I’ve got the grumpy-chemo-face (at least inside) and can smell it everywhere. Then I ran into a group of Boobifiles who were actively recruiting donations and that was the ’straw’.

It might have been different if I didn’t encounter the only militant group of BC supporters (and if it wasn’t the Sat after my Wed chemo) but I simply explained to them that that I already committed $120,000 of my health insurance companies money to the cause as a whole.

Thanks for listening.

Loretta

Cheers, Geoff

Tom Whiteside here. We emailed on MySpace once or twice. I’m Sherry Talley’s godson.

What part of Tejas are you in? I’m from Lubbock, and Sherry of course lives in San Angelo. I live in Austin now, but just wanted to see where and when you’d be around.

Hope you’re well.

-Tom
512.810.9085

PS- I work at Planet Cancer now; you came to a couples’ retreat a while back, right?

I feel like half the people who wear all this pink junk don’t even realize or fully comprehend what it entails. Marketing/Advertising companies just go “hey, chicks like pink, let’s plaster our products with little ribbons and these women will think they deserve some sort of humanitarian award for buying it.” Works for them. But I doubt that they really buy it to “support” research. They think the little symbol looks cute as a charm hanging off their cell phones, or that their friends will be sympathetic and they’ll fit in better if they wear a funny shirt saying “save the ta-ta’s”

Me, when I was dx’d, my grandparents ordered custom-made little wristbands. They are purple, and in lime green writing they say “BRING IT ON” with a heart, and a smiley face. I wear them for me. I wear them because I wake up each day and every decision I make is made after considering how it will affect my body/chemo.
Not for a fashion statement.

Ultimately, though, my point was to thank you for speaking up. I thought I was being selfish in harboring this mutual feeling, so I was afraid to. But now that I know I’m not alone, …I might be a little more open. Plus it felt good to rant ^^^ a little. haha.