The Captain's Log

1204.28 TURNING POINT

2012-04-28T17:00:00.000+01:00

I've hinted before about some of the dark times we as a family have been through over the last few years. Recently I find it has been hitting me hard, although I've done my best to hide the effects I can no longer afford to keep kidding myself. Comfort eating, laziness and general apathy cannot continue. Even my cycling has dropped off to bare minimum. My weight has increased although I'm not near my heaviest if things don't change then it won't be long. Also my family history means I have to watch myself, weight gain could be fatal and I need to take that more seriously instead of putting it off until 'tomorrow'. Today needs to be my turning point. I've done it before, I can do it again...

1204.26 THANK YOU VERY MUCH

2012-04-26T23:48:00.000+01:00

This time tomorrow I will be reunited with my Morticia. For the last 2 weeks I've been a single father whilst my good lady has been on holiday in the United States of America, to be more exact Memphis on a pilgrimage with her mother to the land of Elvis.

I've never seen what the big deal with Elvis or the industry that has grown up following his demise. As a Star Trek fan I'm the last one to cast aspersions on any one's obsessions and I'm not about to start.

She flew out a week last Monday, we've been separated before but never in our lives (and I'm talking about the time before we were even together) have this many miles been between us. Her plane landed on Tuesday morning but has been staying with her mother mainly because of the difficulty picking her up midweek, and to give her a chance to get over the jetlag.

I've missed her terribly and I've realised that she is the one that keeps me in line. You hear all the time about people's other halves, it's no exaggeration. She's my everything and it shouldn't take being apart for me to realise and appreciate her. I can't wait until tomorrow.

1203.25 BATTLESTAR GALACTICA

2012-03-25T19:05:00.000+01:00

When I was a kid I remember watching Battlestar Galactica, it was the early 80s and I was (and still am) sci fi mad, these were the days of Star Wars, Star Trek was back and Buck Rodgers was having his adventures in the 25th century.

I was overjoyed in 2003 when the re imagined mini series came to our small screens. I avidly watched the 1st season of the newly commissioned TV series. Unfortunately because of my shift patterns and the fact that no one in my household would entertain it for me, I lost my way and gave up trying to catch up.

I had to wait for Sky+ and for re runs to be able to complete my viewing, I started again from episode 1. It was worth the wait, what an epic series, twist and turns, mysteries and enigmas abound and for once a solid proper conclusion. I need to buy myself the box sets now.

1203.18 DAYTRIP TO WHITBY

2012-03-18T22:17:00.000Z

I've never been to Whitby.

Hard to believe that I have lived over 40 years without visiting this fine seaside town. So when we were deciding what to do on Mother's day this year we decided to rectify this (Morticia has never been also and really fancied a day out to the coast) and head north to the town famous for whaling (in the past), Captain Cook, fish & chips and Goths.

Arriving we found that lots of others had the same idea. The town was packed and finding a parking space was difficult. We managed to find a car park with a few spaces left.

I wasn't sure what to expect, what I found wasn't the traditional seaside resort. Sure there were arcades and bars, ice creams but the feel of the place was distinctly different. The shops obviously took advantage of the gothic, there were some fun and interesting things on offer.

Highlight of the day was fish & chips in one of the many fish & chip restaurants. I didn't go with any recommendations so I think we were lucky to pick a good one, Robertson's Fish Restaurant.

We had a much needed family day out, it was like a relief from the stressful times behind us and I hope a turning point as we move forward together as a family.

As we (or I) drove into the sunset, well sort of, I took a slight detour through Scarborough, a place I knew very well. A place with a lifetime of memories.

We all said we must visit Whitby again someday.

1203.06 DAD

2012-03-06T23:47:00.000Z

Some years ago I fell out with my dad (or he fell out with me). This lead to becoming estranged from my family, as time progressed I realised that the damage grew deeper with every passing year and I faced up to the reality that I may never speak to them again.

Things changed at the end of last year. My uncle died at a very young age which shocked the whole family. At the funeral my dad spoke to me, we agreed that life was indeed too short and that the situation has to change. A few weeks later I visited my parents and spoke at length about the things I believed led to our estrangement. We ironed a lot out and a few weeks later (delayed because of other events, see previous post) they came over to our house to visit, and re-get to know their grand-children.

Tonight we all went out for a meal at Meadow Farm, one of our favourite eateries. All went well and the feeling I feel at having my parents back in my life is truly indescribable. It's still early days but I have high hopes for the future.

1203.01 HOW LOW CAN I GO?

2012-03-01T16:43:00.000Z

I haven't blogged for a while. There's a good reason for that, life recently has been hard, there has been issues and trouble abound. I'm not going to go into detail about it, that's personal stuff that isn't really for sharing. All I'll say is that the last month has been a very dark time for our family. We've asked for help. But it's yet to materialise despite being promised. I'm struggling day to day even though I try to put a brave front up, sometimes I wonder how I will get through or if all this effort is worthwhile. Then I look at my family and realise that they are the reason I do this and we are worth saving.

1201.13 UNCLE ADRIAN

2012-01-13T14:30:00.000Z

Today we said goodbye to Uncle Adrian, he passed away between Christmas and New Year. I haven't seen him for a number of years but we had reconnected on Facebook in recent times. I have many memories and he was an integral part of my childhood, the summers at my Nan and Grandad's house.

He's passed at 47, all I feel is that he was taken too soon. No parent should outlive their child, I can't imagine what my Nan must be going through. At the funeral today I looked on at his wife and daughters and tried to imagine what impact it would have on my girls if it were me after all I am 40, not much younger.

Funerals are a chance to say goodbye but they are also a very selfish time, you think of how you will miss the person and how your life will be affected. As it should be.

If there is one good thing to come from his passing it is that I spoke to my father for the first time in many years, we've been estranged for such a long time. Maybe we have a chance to put the past behind us?

After all life is too short...

1201.01 HAPPY NEW YEAR

2012-01-01T01:52:00.000Z

I'd be lying if I said 2011 had been good to us. Yes there has been some good times but we've had some hard times too. Now is the time to look forward, not back. We begin this new journey as usual at Morticia's mother's in St Neots over a few beers.

Our eldest continues to be our greatest challenge at this moment, the mission to keep her on the right path. I start the year with a wish to rebuild the lost relationship with my parents and to strengthen my family.

As I tap this entry I finish off my last beer of the evening/morning and my thoughts turn to my Uncle Adrian who passed away yesterday (1112.30) suddenly aged just 47. I'm still in shock about his passing.

1112.28 EXCESS

2011-12-28T21:30:00.000Z

Now that all that Christmas malarkey is over it's time to deal with the aftermath. Putting the decorations away is a mammoth undertaking that if not done right means more work and messing about come December when they emerge again.

Of course the bills have to be paid, a month or more of overspending needs to be addressed. Then there is the personal over indulgences, a few weeks of over eating and drinking can mean all sorts of issues if not sorted come January.

1112.25 CAPTAIN'S CHRISTMAS MESSAGE

2011-12-25T13:00:00.000Z

Every year is a journey to this table, the Christmas dinner table. This year I'm thankful that we all, the 4 of us, made it. There were many times along the way when I thought we weren't going to make it through.

There have been some real difficult times again this year, Morticia's condition doesn't get better but I do feel sometimes we are learning how to cope. Her disability was at last officially recognised which meant we could get a little help.

Our eldest daughter has also been the cause of many sleepless nights. Getting her back in line has been a major priority this year. We still have a way to go but hopefully we are on the right track.

Highlights include our holiday to Wales as usual. It never fails, the place is almost magical. I also got a new bike, after year of wanting and striving I made it happen.

Anyway, now is the time to be thankful for what we've got and to get on with enjoying the season.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL MY FAMILY, FRIENDS, FOLLOWERS, SUBSCRIBERS AND MINIONS.

1112.23 THE PUNCTURE FAIRY

2011-12-23T22:37:00.000Z

Over the last few weeks I have been suffering from a large amount of punctures whilst cycling. I have become quite expert and fast at changing an inner tube and tube repairs. Quite a few have occurred during night time commutes in areas I'd rather not stop in. I'm putting it down to the weather + road conditions causing debris to stick to the road surface and them embed into my back tyre.

Well done to Mark Cavendish who won the BBC Sports Personality of the Year 2011. I'm a big fan and it was great to see his achievements and the sport honoured and recognised.

1112.18 PROPER CHRIMBO

2011-12-18T22:49:00.002Z

I'm just getting over my hangover from last night's festive night out with my bestest bud, Mr C.

Christmas 2011 is almost ready. Morticia has been stressing about being ready and this has meant extra pressure to make sure everything gets done as swiftly as possible. Although we are almost done, except for food and I have to sort out a few bits myself.

I have 4 days of work between now and the big day, but I'm on lates so that makes it difficult. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day, the plan is to go to Iceland, Morrisons and Tescos. Sounds like hell to me.

Why do we put ourselves through all this shit year in year out? It's stressful, unpleasant and in the end usually doesn't live up to expectations. I'd just do the basics, as long as you are with friends and family what else to you need? We are all searching for the perfect Christmas, but is there such a thing?

1111.19 MY BIG DAY OUT

2011-11-19T21:00:00.000Z

I've previously said that I almost never spend much time alone. So when Morticia planned a day out with her Mum and the kids I jumped at the chance to to go out and about on my own. We are staying at my Mother-in-law's so my day out, unless I planned to jump on a train or bus, would be in the town of St Neots. The town centre is only 20 minutes walk, it was dry and a little misty which made for a lovely walk.

I'd been looking forward to the idea for weeks, it's not a big deal but the solitude was really therapeutic. I had lunch in the local cafe, a mooch around the charity shops and visited a few pubs and sampled a few ales. Reading my cycling magazine in the pub whilst drinking ale all on my own was absolute bliss.

I returned and followed my big day out with a visit to the chippy, mmmmmm.

For those interested in the ales;

Elgood's Black Dog (3.6% ABV) - A proper English mild, smooth and flavourful.

in the Coach House, St Neots.

Potbelly Brewery's Potbelly Best (3.8% ABV) - Easy drinking bitter.

in the Pig & Falcon, St Neots

Young's London Gold (4.8% ABV) - A light refreshing ale.

in the Cambridgeshire Hunter, Eynesbury.

1111.18 SINGLE FATHER

2011-11-18T16:22:00.000Z

Sometimes it's advantageous to sent Morticia away to her Mum's for the week. Her ME can take it's toll on her so a short restbite break is in order. This week, following a visit from her Mum, she went down to the little town of St Neots for the week and left me home with the kids.

It probably sounds like I get quite a lot out of this, you know, suddenly being on my own, doing my own thing etc. this couldn't be further from the truth. The kids, even though they're older are still a handful. Add to that the fact that I still go into work (albeit for half days). Rest for me? Not a chance. It's been all go until 22:30 each night when I have myself a chance to catch up with my Sky+ recordings. Come bed time I find that I don't enjoy sleeping alone (I found this out many years ago).

Today, in fact tonight I drive down to be with her. We return home on Sunday.

1111.06 BONFIRES, WITCHES & CHRISTMAS TREES

2011-11-06T22:37:00.001Z

I'm more than a little annoyed that my mobile blogging app, BlogPress, has not worked since I updated my iPhone to iOS5. I am using the native Blogger app to compose this for formatting later on a PC.

Anyway, this is not the purpose of my post today. It's the beginning of November and that means Guy Fawkes night, the traditional celebration of a failed Catholic terrorist plot from 1605. Whilst for us there was no bonfire (we rarely have one) we did set of some fireworks whilst down visiting my Mother in Law.

That's where the witches come in, well one in particular. The aforementioned Mother in Law who returned with us to stay for the week. It's been a difficult preparation getting the house together for the visit. I'm hoping Morticia will get a lot from the visit, at the end of the week she will be returning with her mother to St Neots for the following week. It will mean rest bite for us both, I think we both need it.

I noticed over the last few weeks Christmas trees have been appearing and television adverts have turned to seasonal subjects. I'm not a big fan of Christmas commercialism and I hate how early the 'silly' season starts. How long until Christmas starts in August?

1110.30 A DIFFICULT TIME

2011-10-30T11:15:00.000Z

I've had a very difficult few weeks. I suffered with a nasty chest infection which knocked me off my feet for a while, I had to take a week off work (and anyone who knows me knows that it takes a lot to keep me from work). On top of that we had more difficulties with our teenager. Thankfully we managed to sort out most of the issues, the challenges remain of course, as they do for most parents of teenage girls.

There are changes afoot in our outlook too, Morticia is being a lot more open about her condition with a view to learning to live with it and come to terms with her life. She is now accepting that she is disabled and she has to live to her abilities and not push herself. I find myself accepting the fact that I am officially her primary carer and also the target for many of her frustrations. Juggling work, being a parent and a carer isn't easy, in fact it is sometimes frustrating and feels impossible. The last few weeks I've had all that on top of illness and teenage issues, thankfully I managed to get through. I feel drained at this moment but determined to make Morticia's life more comfortable.

http://www.actionforme.org.uk/family-and-friends/family/i-am-an-adult/i-am-the-husband-wife-or-partner

1109.14 MOBILE BLOGGING

2011-09-14T10:37:00.001+01:00

Mobile blogging has always been my holy grail and never quite attainable. Emailed posts were always a make do and when I finally got an iPhone I thought it would finally be realised, that is until I found out that there wasn't an 'app for that'. At least not an official one. I purchased 'Blogpress' which worked but the formatting wasn't quite there.

Today I found out that Blogger have finally released an official app. This post is the first from there and so a test for format and function.
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UPDATE: I've found the official app a little disappointing. It lacks formatting and layout tools, you can only add pictures to the foot of a post. Blogpress is not perfect but it has the basic picture (but not text) formatting tools. Until Blogger update the app I'll be sticking with Blogpress. Maybe one day we'll get to that holy grail of blogging.

1108.30 BANK HOLIDAY WEEKEND

2011-08-30T13:33:00.001+01:00

As we sometimes do, the family decided to go south to visit Morticia's mother in St Neots. Even though I'd already returned to work I considered this part of my holiday. I booked a couple of extra leave days and we went down Thursday evening. We were late setting off because I had to take Morticia's dad and his dog to the vets.

On the Sunday Morticia's mother and her partner took our girls to a local air show. This gave Morticia and me some time together. This almost never happens, we decided to go into town - they were having a little festival or fayre.

There's a pub in St Neots called the Pig & Falcon, we've been past it a dozen times and I've always fancied popping in. Today we could, and did. It was a lovely little ale house which was full of character and looked like it had live bands on at weekends. Whilst there I sampled a couple of local ales;

Potbelly Best
Citra

We decided to stay an extra night so we could return and sample the atmosphere of this place on a night out. Sadly Morticia's ME kicked in and pit paid to our plans.

Whilst down there I love to rummage in the local charity shops. Managed to bag myself Stephen Fry's biography for £3.

The original plan was to come home on Bank Holiday Monday. In the end we left on the Tuesday.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

1108.25 ALES OF WALES

2011-08-25T22:51:00.000+01:00

I always buy a few bottles of local ales on my holidays to remind me of my time there. This year's haul includes;

Tomos Watkin Cwrw Braf
Tomos Watkin Cwrw Haf
Brains Rev James
Brains Original Stout
Felinfoel Double Dragon
Rhymney Dark

Whilst in Wales I enjoyed;

Brains Bitter
Brains SA
Brains Black
Gold Wing

I've discovered that Morrisons are going to be selling Rev James, so that I can now get Brains SA, SA Gold and Brains Original Stout here in Yorkshire. I'm also intending to order some ales via mail order from Tomos Watkins with whom I've been conversing with on Twitter.

I'm Recording my real ale adventure on an iPhone app called 'Brewski Me'.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

1108.22 BACK TO REALITY

2011-08-22T22:57:00.000+01:00

Work to live or live to work? Ask me that 20 years ago I'd probably have answered the latter. Nowadays I know the answer. Work is a tool for the good things in life, once you've paid all the bills.

I now have to go back to work. I don't want to go, I've enjoyed myself too much this holiday. I've lived the good life but I know that must end. Besides if I don't get back on my bike soon I'll need to buy a larger size trousers.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

1108.16 POSTCARD FROM CEI NEWYDD

2011-08-16T22:53:00.000+01:00

As soon as I arrived in Cei Newydd (New Quay) I knew I'd arrived home. It's like my regular life is all fake and as soon as I get here I come alive.

The excitement builds as we pass through Aberaeon, the colourful row of houses that adorn the main road. We then turn off the A487, pass the caravan park where we used to stay years ago, then the Seahorse Inn where we turn right. Passed the Black Lion, we then get our first proper look at the bay and the famous stone pier (our first look is from the main A487 on our approach), the lines of boats, we pass the Natwest bank and then our beloved Penwig Hotel which will be our home for our stay here. Parking is 'round the back so we continue on past the shops, turn the corner passed the always closed Blue Bell pub, passed the Watch House, Mariner Restaurant, Chocolate shop, they're all still here as if time stands still when we leave until we return. The £1.20 (used to be a pound) shop and finally the Dolau Inn. We turn up the drive to the rear of the Penwig where the cottage is (our home). We've arrived.

Our week here was utter relaxation. I don't know another place on earth which makes me feel so at ease. If I could make it happen I'd leave Yorkshire forever and live here. Days on the beach, swimming in the sea, drinks in the local pubs, the atmosphere and air. Also, one of the benefits of staying in the heart of the place is that later in the evening most of the tourists from the nearby camps and the holiday park go back and you are left with the real heart of Cei Newydd. The people are friendly, welcoming and I am so jealous that they get to live in such a wonderful place.

Then there's the Penwig itself which is a great pub which serves great food and Brains beers (a favourite of mine). The pub would be nothing without it's staff and management. Mike, Chris and Sam have always made us feel so welcome, another reason we keep returning.

We took a boat trip as usual, but this year we opted to go with the SeaMor and we are so glad we did. It was so much more personal (smaller group than other trips) and a great experience. Brett and Luke were awesome.

Sunday lunch in the Wellington Inn has become a tradition which we enjoy, plus a couple of pints of Double Dragon.

This year we rediscovered the Black Lion, Dylan Thomas' favourite watering hole. This was mainly because it was halfway up the hill and a good stop off for Morticia with her condition. The beer was crap (no local/Welsh ales) and they'd stopped serving food. The pub was for sale so not at it's best. Maybe next year it'll be improved.

Of course the holiday ends too soon and we have to leave. It's almost heart breaking. This year to soften the blow we decided to visit Cillgerran Castle on our way home (well not quite on our way). My heart sank as we drove past the lion at the side of the road signifying that we were back in England.

Our return to Cei Newydd is planned and if everything goes to plan we may even be there more than once next year.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

1108.08 ARE WE THERE YET?

2011-08-08T21:36:00.001+01:00

05:32 - I'm up and almost ready to get off. Hoping to get away in half an hour. Next stop will be Chester services.

08:22 - We're at our only stop off before crossing Welsh border, Chester services. Traffic around Manchester was heavy but moving. Glad to put that behind us. Onward to Wales. Might make another stop yet, Morticia might take a little turn at driving in Snowdonia.

10:05 - We're in Snowdonia and there's no signal on my phone (so no tweeting). I'm resting while Morticia has a short drive.

10:30 - A little sleep, still very little signal on my phone.

14:50 - We arrived at the Hotel Penwig almost 2 hours ago, we had a drink, my first pint of Brains before having a little walk around. I just finished a pint of Rev James, that's pint no 2 of the day. Need to unpack now, just waiting for the cottage key.

19:38 - After an afternoon nap and unpacking we are now enjoying our holiday. I'm going to get off and enjoy myself. Lloniannau.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

1108.07 THE LONG JOURNEY

2011-08-08T00:09:00.001+01:00

I honestly didn't think this day would come. Tomorrow is our annual summer holiday, we are just about prepared but it all nearly didn't happen.

The finances had to be sorted, then we had to manage my eldest daughter's behavioural issues and also take into account Morticia's CFS/ME.

It's been long hard slog to get to the night before. I have high hopes for next week. I need a holiday like you don't know.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

1107.05 NEW TOONS PAGE

2011-07-05T14:00:00.001+01:00

Creating and changing my website is very therapeutic so it's perhaps no surprise that since I'm feeling so down at the moment that I've created a new page. As from today my 'Toons' page is online. I'm hoping to add some more insight into my creative process in the future but for now it's a display of my personal favourites. Enjoy.

1107.03 ANNIVERSARY FOR ONE

2011-07-03T14:18:00.001+01:00

Today it's our wedding anniversary. So what's the plan? Dinner? Day out? Perhaps but not with me. I'm at home with the kids whilst my wife is in Paris with her friend. It's not an issue, we agreed to this months ago. So what am I doing for our anniversary? Nothing I wouldn't do on a regular Sunday, I'm considering having a curry for one tonight but I'll see how I feel later.