Career Mom Speaks

The Manager With No Leadership Experience

2010-01-02T00:31:00.000-08:00

"How would you lead a team if you don't have any experience in managing people?"

This question has been hurled at me many times in the past. Management positions that entail managing a group of people more often, was the deal breaker. That is what managers are for, right? Right. Well, I hated that question. You see I've been a running a one-man-team for years and it has been quite a challenge to justify my lack of management skills. The hard part was there wasn't any opportunity to develop it anyway. But that didn't stop me from trying. I know I'll get a break somehow. There's got to be somebody out there who will take a chance on me - on my skills and experience. And as luck would have had it, it came true.

Now, going back to my earlier question, how do I do it or how will I do it?

Having had no hands-on experience, I admit that I'm nervous. This time, it's no longer about me entirely but rather, it's about people, my team, and helping them achieve success in their jobs.

I thought about my own work ethic and I would like to see the same in my team. I also thought about my previous "mentors" i.e. the slave drivers, the micro-managers and those who allowed me to work independently and exercise entrepreneurship in my department. These people taught me a lot of things.

I'm not sure if reading Jack Welch again would help me but it won't hurt revisiting his book.

Lastly, there's my future boss. I have worked with him in the past albeit, indirectly. I know I'll learn a lot from him as well. There's going to be some adjustments and I know that things will run smoothly once I settle down.

Cheers to 2010!

What To Do With Christmas Bonuses? Yes, Plural With The -es

2009-12-25T09:51:00.001-08:00

In some industry, employees are fortunate enough to receive bonuses this Holiday Season. People have been saving more because of the recession which started in 2007. But despite the unfavorable economic landscape, one can't help but celebrate and that includes spending money on gifts.

I love giving gifts and I love receiving gifts more! The part I dislike most is choosing the gift. Shopping eats up a lot of my time so instead of tiring myself in search for the perfect gift, I just give them cash or gift certificates. This, in my opinion, is the practical way of gifting.

Now, going back to gifts, the bonus kind you receive from a year of hard work. What do you do with the excess money? Two things: save and pay off debts.

I save a big chunk of the money I receive and pay down my credit card debts. While it's tempting to splurge more during the holidays, I have learned that the urge shall pass. There will be other sales in the future and since retail hasn't been doing well in the recession, the promos will be all year round. There's no need to rush in buying stuff. And as for paying off loans and debts, if I have more than enough money saved, I pay a hefty amount on my credit card.

I'd rather enjoy life's simple pleasures than be cash-starved after the holidays. This has been a common trend among my peers. I'd love the idea of wealth but not the one-day rich kind. I've been there and I know how it's like. Well, enough said. I hope you enjoy the Holidays and your bonus or bonuses!

Dealing With A Bait and Switch Boss

2009-12-19T14:55:00.000-08:00

If you happen to work for a bait and switch type of boss, what do you do? Do you defer to everything the boss says to keep your job? Or would you rather leave and look for another boss, someone who is fair and treats you with respect.

Despite the bleak economic climate, there are options. While it's true that the chances of switching jobs nowadays is entirely dependent on the industry or the field you are in, it pays to have a good set of friends, acquaintances and former co-workers to help you out when you decide to leave your job, regardless of the reason/s.

My most important rules are to maintain communication with previous co-workers and network with a lot of recruiters in LinkedIn. In my career as an insurance professional, job hopping is not that difficult. Most jobs in the insurance industry are not posted online rather people are sourced via referrals and headhunters.

It's been over three years since I quit the industry to explore opportunities in the outsourcing field. There are a lot of things I learned especially on the technology side. If people in the local market are dreaming of a paperless office, this is it. It is possible. The downside is that there will be lesser jobs available because most of the tasks are automated. That's the ugly trade off, unfortunately.

Other than the learning part, there are also dead ends. The opportunities are limited if you're a specialist. Difficult if you're a stubborn specialist like myself who wouldn't accept other projects that are not insurance related. Well, let's just say that I have other plans and the day job is just a job because I have other sources of income. But if we turn the tables around and put me in a situation wherein I'm completely at the mercy of my day job, then that's a different story altogether. I will accept any project offered to me in a heartbeat.

And as for the bait and switch boss, there are a lot of them. The tricky part is adopting to their style. Sometimes, they like you. And on other days, they'll say nasty things about you, about other people and the whole world in general, to put down your morale and of course, to get rid of you. In my opinion, these types are not the best in confrontation. They prefer skirting the issues and furtively drop the bomb when you've gotten comfortable with them.

When faced with this type of employer or boss, take extra caution, always be on your guard and if possible, look for another job.

Opportunity Is Like A Thief In The Night, It Will Grab You When You're Most Vulnerable

2009-12-02T20:38:00.000-08:00

When thoughts run dry, do you force yourself to write?

In the past, I try to post as often as I can. But I've been terribly busy the past few months and I have somehow, neglected my blog. I still write though. Every single day, in fact. But it's part of my gig thus, it's work.

Anyway, a lot of things have been going on lately. I moved into a new apartment (perhaps, the end of Generation B?) and I took care of my sick dad. I thought I'll end the year broke but I was wrong. I didn't win the lottery or something like that. I wish I did. But seriously, it's much more than that.

Let's just say I'm off to starting the new year with a bang. A really big bang. I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for making it happen.

After A Year Of Freelancing

2009-11-14T07:52:00.000-08:00

When you're a full time freelancer, there is no such thing as vacation. When you don't work, you don't get paid. And if you plan to take a day or a week off, there's no such thing as paid vacation either. A working vacation, more often, is the solution to cope up with the deadlines.

Freelancing doesn't give you the usual benefits a regular employee is entitled to. So, health insurance, child care subsidies and the like are non-existent. Also, since being a freelancer requires you to work on a per contract basis, you have to continually search for new clients.

These, by far, are some of the downsides of freelancing. It's really not that bad if you have a set of rules (authored by yourself, of course) to guide you through any job. It's true that you have to have a schedule and stick to it. And just like any job, quality of work and networking are important.

I've been freelancing for a year a now with a full time job to boot. It was a great opportunity to begin with because what I do on the side is something I am passionate about. The hours can be tough but it taught me to be value my time more. Procrastination has no place in this kind of set up.

I haven't really given myself a timeline to do freelancing. I'm still enjoying it. Plus the perks are something I couldn't find elsewhere. It helped me on the financial side, too. Overall, it's been a productive year.

Generation B: Generation Boomerang

2009-11-03T19:47:00.000-08:00

It looks like my folks would never ever have an empty nest. My brothers and myself included, are boomerang kids.

Boomerang kids or boomeranging is going back to your parents home and living with them again. Reasons vary and the length of period a child spends to cohabitate with their parents varies as well. In some cases, children don't leave the nest at all.

But why do children, mostly Gen X and Gen Y's, go back?

There are many reasons and each situation is different. Some are purely economic e.g. loss of a job, bankruptcy, inability to support oneself due to debts or student loans, it's more cost effective to live with the parents and more. I could probably add emotional such as the need for constant moral support. But I'm on the fence about the latter because one can have the moral and emotional support he or she needs without having to move in with the parents.

Boomeranging is a sticky situation to be in. One, you have lost your privacy and two, you have to abide by the rules of your parents. Not really to abide per se, but more like compromising your principles versus theirs especially when it comes to child rearing.

Another issue is the money. The big issue, in fact. Moving back to the nest for economic reasons means you're strapped for cash. Inasmuch as you want to contribute, you are unable to do so because you don't have enough money to begin with. If you're worse off e.g. you lost your job or your credit card debts are up to your eyeballs, you may end up asking your parents to lend you some cash, too.

In the Philippine setting, I see a lot of kids living with their folks even if they're all grown up. And it's normal I suppose because extended families are tolerated by the society. Parents who willingly accept their boomeranging kids are not in any way, mollycoddling nor encouraging the kids to be dependent on them. I think parents only want to help out their kids as much as they can.

Having all the kids, plus the grandkids (if any) all in one roof may put a financial strain on the parents and not to mention the all-day chaotic environment in the household. That said, it is important for the children to share on the expenses while they're living with their parents. Plus, the parents are already in their retirement age. It will be unfair to burden them with additional money problems.

I don't want to be a boomerang kid forever. It was never my intention, anyway. And it's tough to be one. I say, set yourself a goal that after "x" year/s, you'll be moving out and living independently.

Pinoy Life In Hong Kong

2009-10-26T02:15:00.000-07:00

What is it with Pinoys and the habit of congregating in one place? A public place such as footbridges, covered walkways and the like. Parks are fine but footbridges?

I was surprised to see a lot of my "kababayans" converting these walking paths to a place where they can hang out with other fellow Pinoys. In short, the footbridges became a makeshift "tambayan". They were busy chatting with one another and I was shocked to see one lady eating rice and possibly pork adobo in a paper plate. The exact place was the footbridge in IFC Mall Hong Kong. It was a breezy Sunday afternoon.

I was tempted to take a photo of the interesting scene in front of me but I decided to forego of the thought. Seeing them in groups talking and laughing together also reminded me of Lucky Plaza in Singapore. There, many Pinoys gather and congregate during their off days.

When I got back to the hotel, I thought of the Philippines and I thought of the children of these women who were left behind. These women, most of whom are mothers, chose to work abroad and take care of other people's children so that their own children back home will have a better life.

But how much does a domestic helper earn in Hong Kong?

From my limited readings about OFW life in Hong Kong, their wages amount to PHP25,000 a month including meal allowance. This is the set minimum wage for domestic helpers. If they send half of their earnings to their families in the Philippines, they're left with practically a pittance. The cost of living in Hong Kong is expensive. And if you want to eat a clean and decent meal, you have to spend HKD20 at the least. I'm not sure if the daily meal allowance given to domestic helpers reaches HKD20. I hope it does.

Working overseas is definitely not a bed of roses. People back home think that once you earn $$$, you become filthy rich. What they don't understand is that the OFWs also spend $$$ overseas to survive. They don't convert in PHP because the food, the goods, the fares and everything else are not in PHP anyway. Thus, nothing much is left with them. It's sad but they have to do it in order to survive and send money back home.

How Does Your Company Respond To Natural Disasters?

2009-09-27T15:16:00.000-07:00

On September 26, it rained like never before. The evening prior, it was already raining non-stop. Still, I went on with my usual routine and went to work. That night, it was one of those fateful days when I would rather curl up in bed and sleep the whole night through. I clocked in half past my schedule. I was late for work.

The night was cool and breezy. The rain continued. The double espresso caramel macchiato didn't help me much. I don't usually buy Starbucks coffee but Friday night was an emergency - I was groggy with sleep.

By the time my shift ended, the skies were darker and the rain came to a heavy downpour. I skipped my regular Saturday fanfare at the Salcedo market because I have to run some errands and I didn't want to be stuck in traffic.

I took my son to his Kumon classes despite the bad weather. I thought the rains would stop but unfortunately it didn't. When his class was over, the streets were already flooded. We had to walk past the murky, icky and disgusting flood just to get a ride home.

Homebound, more floods. And at home, the flood is already knee-deep. People started to evacuate their things to higher places. The water continued to rise and by 11 p.m., the power went out.

I got calls from the office and my boss checking if I was okay. Because we didn't have electricity, I had no way of knowing what was going on in other areas. Plus, my landphone and cellphone went dead the following morning. It was only today that I have read all the updates about the lost lives, destroyed properties and stranded people on the streets.

Photo c/o The Associated Press

The office will extend help to those employees who were affected by the typhoon and being one of the lucky ones who didn't suffer as much, I'd like to help out as well. I commend my company for touching base with the employees in the midst of the calamity. It's greatly appreciated.

Immigration Blues - Finding A Job In Another Country

2009-09-10T20:01:00.000-07:00

Immigrating to another country entails a lot of adjustment – settling your family, finding a job, putting the kids to school and assimilation to the new culture. Work-wise, not everyone are as lucky to land jobs that fits their skills and experiences. More often, employers look for “local experience”. But being the new immigrant, how in the world would you get local experience if no employer is willing to take a chance to hire you?

First, don’t lose hope. Despite the bleak economy, there are ways to get around this problem. Plus, if your skills are in demand, you’ll find employment in due course.

1. Take volunteer work related to the job you are targeting. Say, if you’re an accountant, you may want to offer bookkeeping services to no-profits. The important thing is to earn the local experience employers are looking for.

2. Network. If you have friends, families or acquaintances in the area, ask for referrals. They may help you get a job using their connections.

3. Don’t quit. It’s frustrating not to have any job leads even after sending out 50 or more applications. But your frustration shouldn’t stop you from looking for a job. You can’t give up just like that.

The time involved in looking for a job varies. If you're lucky to get a job within a month, good for you. Otherwise, be prepared to wait it out, months even.

Other than the industry, you also have to look into the unemployment rate in your area. While you may have the right skills and acquired the requisite local experience, but if your state or the city you are in are laying off people then be prepared to double your efforts.

Leaving your homeland for good and starting anew in another country is a self-effacing experience. If you're an executive back home, it's not going to be the same (not counting the lucky ones, of course). Most start from the bottom of the ladder just to get their foot in the door. It's going to be tough out there and failure is not an option.

On Not Getting The Job: Bad News Is Better Than No News

2009-09-03T11:24:00.000-07:00

In the past, I hardly receive a note from the recruiter advising that my job application didn’t make it to the shortlisted applicants. But there was one email I received from a hiring manager saying that I wasn’t considered for the position citing specific reasons. No matter how disappointing the content of the email was, this gesture, I appreciate much. This is a lot better than waiting in vain, wishing and hoping that the prospective employer is taking his time mulling, deliberating and crafting my compensation package but in actuality, my application went straight to the trash bin after the interview or before I even get the chance to have a phone or in-person interview.

Why don’t recruiters make it a standard protocol to advise applicants that they weren’t considered for the job? Is that too much to ask?

In my favorite job board, for example, the status of my applications online is regularly updated. Whether the employer viewed my resume or if the recruiter has contacted me for an interview, I get a status online, regardless. As for the other boards, when three weeks has lapsed after submitting my application and I get no updates whatsoever, I take it as a “no”.

Rather than play tag with the HR or go through an endless cycle of waiting games, why don’t recruiters send a notice of decline to the applicant? It may be a tedious task to begin with because I can imagine the number of applications received for just one position. I believe it’s a matter of respecting the applicant’s time and also, it prompts the applicant to move on with his life and quit waiting for a response from the recruiter.

It’s true that procedures vary from one company to another. Some HR policies include sending notices of decline to the applicants who didn’t make the cut and others don’t really bother with the notifications as it takes much of their precious time.

From an applicant’s standpoint, a notice of decline is better than guessing whether I make it or not.

Wishing For Longer Vacations

2009-08-28T10:59:00.000-07:00

When I’m on vacation, I can’t help but check out office emails. I know that I’m supposed to be enjoying the R&R but when you’re running a one-man team, it’s just too tempting not to take a peek at your emails (even while waiting for my next flight). Had there been somebody to pitch in for me while I’m away, I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing. I feel like I’m always connected to my work.

Timing vacations is an art. I have to schedule family and work commitments and make sure that everything is taken cared of during my absence. At work, I give a two month’s notice for a one week vacation. I plan my trips 6-8 months ahead of schedule. Not only I save money on fares and hotels, it also gives my boss and family ample time to adjust.

Another thing that I’m really frustrated about is the number of my vacation credits. It is way too short. In addition, every legal holiday is deducted from my allocated leaves. So if there are 7 official holidays in the calendar year, I only get 8 days remaining to spend on real vacations. I end up coming to work even if I’m not feeling well. And I end up advancing leave credits for the following year.

I am not sure if the same system applies with other organizations. Or are we the only one putting up with this kind of creative employee benefit.

Dealing With Boredom At Work

2009-08-23T11:40:00.000-07:00

I'm at a point (again) where I find myself brooding about career options. You see I'm two months shy of celebrating my third year with my current employer. Although, I'm not 100% certain if I should celebrate or not.

Work-wise, everything seems to be stable. But the stability bores me sometimes. I try to find ways to create more excitement so that my days at work wouldn't be all ho-hum and dreary. Of late, I do more ancillary projects for the boss so that I'll be more productive.

What do I do when faced with bouts of boredom at work?

1. I re-visit my resume and update it.

2. Touch base with former colleagues and other professionals in social networking sites.

3. Check out job boards to see if there are opportunities better than what my current employer offers.

4. Catch up on industry-related trends. In short, I should read up more about insurance and risk management.

5. Consider going back to school? I'm not really sold to the idea. The biggest hurdle with school at this point is the lack of time to do it. And not to mention, the additional expenses that will drain my savings.

No matter how we love our jobs, there will come a point wherein we feel that we've reached the plateau. I believe that it's part of the cycle in one's career and it's entirely up to us how to make it more exciting.

Dear Boss, I Have An Interview With The Competitor Tomorrow

2009-08-14T15:29:00.000-07:00

If you’re planning to seek employment elsewhere and you are very much employed at the moment, will you tell your boss that you are applying with other companies?

The thought sounds silly to me. In fact, I’ll be a 100% idiot if I do that. Should I decide to quit my current job, I would never ever tell my boss that I am looking for a better paying job, let alone tell my boss, in his face, that my salary is just not enough.

Here’s the scenario.

California is bankrupt. We all know that. A lot of businesses are struggling to keep the business afloat. I know that for a fact because my supposed salary increase and bonuses were put on hold. Still, I am thankful that the boss decided to keep me and that applies to my co-workers as well.

In light of the no increase this year, it is normal to look for other opportunities. But to tell your boss that you are actually applying to ABC Company or worse, you are attending interview #1 tomorrow and interview #2 the week after, is just beyond me.

First, you don’t have to tell your boss of your future career plans that doesn’t benefit his company. Second, it is just so stupid giving the boss a blow by blow account of what transpired in your job hunting endeavors. And last, you don’t tell your boss that your salary is not enough; whether the salary doesn’t cover your bills, mortgage, day care, etc., because that is not your boss’ problem. Employers compensate based on performance and your contribution to the company. The boss will not give you an increase because your salary can’t keep up with your expenses or any other reasons that do not concern your duties in the workplace.

Another thing, you don’t brag to your current boss that you’re moving to a much bigger company, even if it’s the top 1 company in your industry, you just don’t. You’ll piss him off and he will cut your hours further.

The most important rule of all: do not tell people, let alone, your boss that you are moving to a new company when you’re not even hired yet!

If you are thinking of leaving your job, do it with finesse. Avoid making stupid mistakes. Creating a bad blood between you and your not so current boss will certainly affect your references in the future.

The Love-Hate Affair Between Coffee Shops And Laptop Users

2009-08-06T11:11:00.000-07:00

I see people lugging their laptops inside coffee shops and stay there for hours nursing one cup of latte. The cup, amazingly, lasts for hours.

In New York, coffee shop owners are (finally) pulling the plug on laptop users. Some have totally forbidden laptop use in their shops by locking the electric outlets while the others have decided to apply rules as to when laptops are allowed – lunch time and mid-afternoons bar laptop use inside the cafes. Businessowners want to give more priority to other customers. Besides, laptops in great numbers occupy so much real estate in the coffee shops which ultimately, push away paying customers. Also, loafing around the coffee shop for an indefinite amount of time while surfing the web or conducting their own little business in one corner, is really inappropriate and unfair to the businessowners.

In Starbucks, before you gain access to their wi-fi, you have to purchase something and in exchange for that, they’ll give you a limited time pass to use their wi-fi. I’m not sure if the other coffee shops like Coffee Bean, Gloria Jeans and San Francisco use the same treatment for their laptop customers.

While it’s true that coffee shops encouraged laptop users to hang out in their businesses, some customers have become abusive over the years. Some people even conduct interviews inside the coffee shops and turned one table into a temporary mobile office!

I’m not affected by the new rules they impose on laptop customers (if the local franchise decide to adopt the same rules) because I don’t bring my laptop inside coffee shops. I always carry a wireless modem with me, anyway. Plus, I cannot concentrate with all the chatter, grinding and hissing of the coffee equipment on the background. It reminds me of the interview I had at Seattle’s Best. I was so distracted with the noise. I don’t understand how can those laptop users focus with so much noise around them.

Coffee And Your Spending Habits

2009-07-31T13:25:00.000-07:00

A lot of people I know treat themselves during payday. It could be a Venti latte at Starbucks or they would order something fancy for lunch. During the 15th and 30th, I don't see a lot of my coworkers in the lunch room.

I'm a lunch room person. I bring packed lunch almost everyday to the office. On days when I'm running late, I have no choice but to buy food outside. But this does not happen a lot. I make sure that I prep something up so I can save on lunch money.

What I don't understand is, people would whine about how they're not making enough when in fact, their spending habits is the culprit. They would justify the frap and the take outs as gifts to themselves all because it's payday. And before you know it, especially midway through the next payday, I'll start to hear people complaining how little their salary is.

Personally, I think it's okay to treat yourself once in a while. The important thing is not to overdo it and not whine about it when you've run out of money from buying lattes from all those overpriced coffee shops.

On a different note, it's funny how expensive coffee has become. Here's a comparison from the coffee shops I've been to in the past and the not so recent past:

Starbucks in the Philippines - Php80+
Nosh Coffee Shop in HK - HK$22 or Php176
Starbucks in Newport, NJ - US$4 or Php184

The price is based on a small cup of gourmet coffee.

These prices are unbelievable. But some people come to these coffee shops other than the actual coffee. Ambiance? Could be. Free wi-fi? Another possibility. Coffee experience, perhaps? But what is coffee experience, anyway?

It is seldom that I buy coffee from these fancy coffee shops. It's a total rip-off, if you ask me. I am not going to spend 200 bucks on a cup of joe. No way.

Interview Over Lunch: Can You Handle It?

2009-07-27T10:00:00.000-07:00

I’m not overly excited about the idea of being interviewed while I’m eating. It makes me very conscious about everything I do on the table e.g. how I chew my food, whether I’m using the right spoon or fork, how to masticate with finesse so that no food will get stuck in between my teeth and so on. It’s difficult for me to focus on the questions the interviewer asks of me when I’m distracted with food.

Interviews over a meal speaks a lot a about the candidate. Carol Smith, Senior Vice President of the Elle Group, makes sure that she does an interview over a meal to learn more about the applicant. She said that having a meal with someone is like a little microcosm of life. You can tell a lot about the person on how he carries himself in a restaurant setting. “Throughout a meal, the personality comes out”, she added.

Having an interview over a meal is similar to having a coffee shop interview. The former is trickier because other than keeping the conversation going with the interviewer, you have to interact with the wait staff as well. How you conduct yourself in front of them tells a lot about your personality. Are you the type who talk down to waiters? Do you order the most expensive food in the menu? Are you a difficult customer? These are some of the things that speaks volume about a person.

The next time you find yourself in an interview over lunch or dinner perhaps, be mindful of your etiquette because the meal will be part of the employer’s decision in the hiring process. Do not let your guard down or think that you have bested the other candidates in the list. Little did you know, all shortlisted candidates may have gone through the same interview procedure.

Interview Preparation: Doing More Than The Basics

2009-07-20T21:54:00.001-07:00

Don't we all dread job interviews? Inasmuch as we want to ace each interview that comes, there are times when we fumble with our words, say the wrong things in front of the interviewer or worse, fail to do an in-depth research about the employer. When you want a job so bad, you just cannot make any of these gaffes which will compromise your chances of bagging the job. It is not enough to rehearse answers to possible questions that may arise or dress yourself up in your best power suit. You have to do more than that.

Here are some tips that will help you in acing that interview:

1. Who will conduct the interview?
If possible, ask the HR manager about the person/persons who will conduct the interview. Is it going to be the operations head? The VP? The CEO? Knowing who you will be up against with during the interview will allow you to condition your mind and prepare yourself for potential questions which would presumably delve with the specifics of the job you are applying for.

2. What is the employer's core business?
You can get this information from the company's website. Check out the "About Us" link and read the current press releases. Familiarize yourself with the company's products and services. These information are also found in the company's annual report.

3. Who are the competition?
It doesn't end with the knowledge of the company's products. You have to know their competitors and how the company stacks up against their peers in the market.

4. Answering difficult questions.
List all potential questions, the difficult ones specifically, and practice your responses. Possible questions that may come up include situations relating to handling conflicts at work and your management style.

Doing the above steps in addition to the basics e.g. looking great and knowing the details of your resume, will put you ahead of the pack.

Growing Apart And Growing Pains

2009-07-20T12:10:00.000-07:00

I love my sons. Their uniqueness fascinates me every single day. Little things have not gone unnoticed. I try not to, at the very least. One is gregarious at home but makes a 180 degrees turnaround in school. He has a tendency to be shy and sometimes, he needs a little more pushing before he volunteers on doing anything in school e.g. leading a group activity, joining a club. My other son is an independent, smart-alecky, the Mr. Congeniality-type of young man in the making. I can see it in him. They’re a year apart, often mistaken for twins when they were little. Of late, I can’t help but feel the growing chasm in their personalities.

In the past, they’re happy with each other’s company, whether it’s playtime or just chilling out, horsing around the house. The younger one looks up to his older brother. He mimics his every move, style and even befriends his brother’s friends. Their world revolves with each other’s circle of buddies.

"My friends are your friends and so are mine."

It was comforting for any parent to see how close they are but growing up seems to create an unavoidable rift between them. The older one wants to spread his wings, go out on his own, create his own individuality. The sad part is that he has to leave the little one behind.

I have mixed feeling about this. I’m delighted to see that my son is growing up to be one independent young man but I’m also saddened by the fact that the phase he is going through would somehow alienate his younger brother.

Perhaps, it’s part of the pains of growing up and raising kids. Yes. I think it is.

The Expat Life

2009-07-15T10:41:00.000-07:00

Five years ago, I wrote on my appraisal report that I would like to be considered for a position overseas to gain more experience in more advanced insurance markets. Singapore was my target then. I dreamed big. But the wait was too long. Far too long in my books. Management reshuffled and even my impending merit increase was shelved indefinitely. The boss said that he didn’t want to bring up salary issue with the new management just yet. He wanted me to wait it out a bit longer. Problem is, I am not the type who waits that long especially if the chances are obviously way below expectation. When an opportunity came up offering the same experience I’ve been meaning to get myself into, I got all excited. To cut the long story short, I left my previous job.

Had I not quit, it should have been seven years. Seven years is like forever. But some of my coworkers patiently waited it out. One worked long hours. Work has become her life and life well, life is work. I don’t know if I have the will power to do the same. And another one is more than happy with the laid-back set up of the organization. The budget are met. Everything is a breeze as the market favors the products he manages.

I have these nagging thoughts of what ifs. What if I stayed? Would things change? It’s useless dwelling on the would’ves and could’ves because I’ve already made a decision and that was to try it out on my own. I have my own share of ups and downs and I learned a lot, too.

I don’t want to sound like I’m griping but after reading what I’ve written so far, it looks like I am. I’ll get over it.

Being Inefficient is Good, Sometimes

2009-07-10T15:29:00.000-07:00

There are 168 hours in a week. I spend around 70 hours attending to my work and part-time projects. The remaining 98 hours is spent on family, personal relationships and other miscellaneous items. Looking at these numbers, I don’t know why I kept telling myself I don’t have enough time to do all the things that I am supposed to do. Could it be that I’m being inefficient in other things? Or could it be that I am being too efficient in a lot of things?

I came across an article in the New York Times that talks about the 168 hours and the issue of being too efficient. Like other working moms out there, I highly value my time to the point of having a rigid schedule day in day out. Here is my usual schedule on a weekday: I must be home by 10 a.m. Chat with my love till lunch time. Grab a quick lunch. Shower. Then I hit the keyboard to do my writing. By 3 p.m., It’s time for me to wrap things up because my son will be home from school. We talk about how his day went and so forth. Another hour passes, my other son comes home. We talk about school stuff and so on. I try to squeeze in cooking time for dinner so that I wouldn’t have to wake up at 7p.m. which is like 3 a.m. in my body clock. I get some shut-eyes for at least 4-5 hours then start my day at 10p.m. (GMT +8). The same routine the following day. Lather, rinse, repeat.

It seems like a boring schedule. Well, it is, sometimes. But I do try to introduce unscheduled events in my routine for some fun and relaxation. It can be in the form of short trips, movies, watch the kids play computer games or just hang around in my room doing nothing even if there’s a pile of freshly laundered clothes waiting for me to fold. At work, there are days when I choose to take the bus over riding the cab. The ride home is longer, much to the chagrin of my boyfriend.

Some of these “inefficiencies” eat up my time alright but it also allows me to take a brief pause and reflect.

They say that working moms hardly have enough time for family. If I do the math, I believe I just have enough time to do all those other items on the periphery without sacrificing my entire career. I’ve raised the kids to the best of my ability without having to quit my job midway even during the tough times when we move around a lot.

So, I think a little bit of inefficiency is okay to some extent.

The Lady Liberty

2009-07-04T12:22:00.000-07:00

I got Friday off because of the holiday. It was a chance for me to make up for the sleep debt that I have been accumulating the past weeks. It was also a chance for me to reminisce the days when I got to meet "The Lady".

Here are some pictures to commemorate that special day:

Confirming our e-tickets at Liberty Park.

Security check before we were allowed to queue up for the ferry.

"Miss New Jersey" will take us to Ellis Island then to Liberty.

Stayed at the upper deck for a better view.

There's Lady Liberty!

First stop, Ellis Island. From 1892-1954, this is the main entry facility for all immigrants entering the United States.

Finally!

The Torch. Closed since 1916.

The lobby of the exhibit area inside the statue. On our way up!

The Lady.

Imagine this guy as the Statue of Liberty? This is one of the many designs considered! Good thing this did not make it.

Happy 4th of July!

The crown is open to the public starting today. Too bad i missed it.

Reduced Hours, Paycut - What's Next?

2009-07-02T16:22:00.000-07:00

"He reduced my hours and pay. Did anything change with you?"

I was having a pay-cut conversation with my Arizona-based coworker. Her hours were cut from 40 to 35 a week. Mine stayed the same but I have to let go of the bonus part this year and no pay increase as well. I guess we all have to make little sacrifices.

She was considering a second job on the weekends but opted not to take it because of her young children. Changing jobs is out of the question, at least for now, she said. Getting a high paying job will require her to commute. That means more time away from her kids. Plus the expenses associated with commuting e.g. gas, work clothes, etc., will just increase her family’s monthly spending.

California is bankrupt and most businesses if not all, are taking the hit. Even though insurance is one product that Americans cannot give up easily because of the consequences of not being insured and non-compliance with state requirements, people are still finding ways to reduce insurance costs. They shop for cheaper rates, go direct with carriers, reduce coverage and increase deductibles to save on premiums.

There are companies who are worse off and have resorted to layoffs and furloughs. People are taking second jobs. That is if there are second jobs jobs available.

The New York Times reported that unemployment was up in June, shedding off 467,000 jobs, the highest in 26 years. I don’t know when things will start improving. I cannot even assure myself of the job I have held for over two years even though my boss tells me that my job is safe. When the boss needs to make tough calls, then that’s it for me.

Anyway, I can’t just sit around and wait for things to unfold before my eyes. I try to save much, spend less on the non-essentials and work on additional projects that fit my schedule.

Dealing with Motherhood Penalty

2009-06-29T00:17:00.000-07:00

Consider two women applying for a job: they have similar skills, experiences and education. One is mother and the other is not. According to research conducted by sociologists at the Cornell University, if two women with similar skills and experiences apply for a job, the mother has lesser chances of getting the job. Why? Motherhood penalty. Simply put, working moms are disadvantaged because they are mothers.

The laboratory experiment found that mothers were penalized on a host of measures, including perceived competence and recommended starting salary. Men were not penalized for, and sometimes benefited from, being a parent. The audit study showed that actual employers discriminate against mothers, but not against fathers.

Does having more responsibilities – being a mom, wife, and employee – make a woman less competent in the workplace? How about the moms already employed? How does a mother stack up against her non-mother coworkers?

What really annoyed me in the findings of this experiment is the sweeping generalization that is the norm (allegedly) among hiring managers in the workplace. A working mom is perceived as less competent because of too many responsibilities on hand. But based on whose standards is this? Which industry? What is the background of the hiring managers? Is this an age-limiting, country-specific issue, as well? Certainly, there will be a host of other issues that will stem from motherhood penalty. Women should be on the lookout for hiring managers who employ such unprofessional HR practices.

Who takes care of the kids when I'm away

2009-06-25T16:21:00.000-07:00

Without my mom’s help, I don’t think I’ll be able to live my life as it is right now.

In the past, I travel out of the country at least twice a year for workshops and conferences. My kids are of school age and I cannot leave them just like that without adult supervision. Whenever I had trips or late night socials at the office, my mom babysat my kids. In fact, she’s been doing that for years now. Even at the time when I went back to school after my second child, she was there to help me out. Back then, finding the perfect nanny, as if there’s one, was like wishing for the moon.

The kids are a lot older now. Still, I seek her help from time to time. We have different views in raising kids but we don’t clash when it comes to disciplining the boys. We compromise. And the kids have gotten used to the fact that grandma’s style is different from mine and vice versa. When I’m away and she’s in charge, I give her full rein. She’s stricter than I am and imposes more rules than I do. But that’s fine with me. As long as we communicate that this and that does not apply to the kids, we are okay.

Things weren’t as smooth as before. My mom believes in a lot of superstitious beliefs, old wives tales and unsupported claims told on TV. She was led to believe that what she believed or was made to believe when she was young were all true. This was the source of a string of misunderstandings in the past because she passed these on to her grandkids. It was like a lost battle telling her that what she believed has no basis at all. But we were able to work out our differences. She still holds on to her beliefs alright. What I do is to explain to the kids which among grandma’s beliefs are true from those which are totally insane.

There was a time I corrected my mom. I told her that some of her so called beliefs don’t apply in the real world. One time I did that, I was asked to leave the house! But anyway, we’ve patched things up and as I’ve said, we have a better relationship now.

My mom has her own unique quirks but she’s still my mom, regardless.

Seasonal Flu or Swine Flu

2009-06-22T10:29:00.000-07:00

I think the school has a virus epidemic.

My boys were down with fever and cough. Last week, it was my youngest son then yesterday, it was my other son. My youngest is already recuperating from the cough. Good thing the fever lasted for only a day. As for my other son, I fetched him earlier from school because I got a call from the school's nurse informing me that he was feverish. His temperature was 38.

What puzzles me is that a number of students were sent home after displaying the same symptoms e.g. headache, fever and that's according to the nurse. Plus, my youngest told me that in his class, only 15 students were present. More than half were sick. On top of that, I heard one student telling his mom that 5 of his classmates were sent home because they were sick. That said, it is obvious that there is something terribly wrong in the school's environment that is causing all these illness among students.

I don't want to think it's the deadly H1N1 virus. But I'm not going to downplay the possibility. I think it is best to have my boys visit their doctor and undergo throat swabbing just to be sure.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the H1N1 virus strain is similar to that of the seasonal flu. So, the symptoms are similar.

What are the signs and symptoms of this virus in people?

The symptoms of novel H1N1 flu virus in people are similar to the symptoms of seasonal flu and include fever, cough, sore throat, runny or stuffy nose, body aches, headache, chills and fatigue. A significant number of people who have been infected with this virus also have reported diarrhea and vomiting. Also, like seasonal flu, severe illnesses and death has occurred as a result of illness associated with this virus.

I am definitely going to keep an eye on how the school deals with this situation. And if necessary, the health department should be alerted.