If you like the material here at carlonhaas.com, then you’ll LOVE what I’m, doing at my new blog.

Go on over to:

Don’t Step in the Poop.com.

Get email updates or grab the feed.

Catch you on the flip side,
Carlon

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There are lots of programs on the web. In fact, you can waste a lot of time looking through all the different sites and programs. But this one beats them all hands down:

Remember the Milk

If you follow David Allen’s Getting Things Done system, you’ll find it easy to impliment. How about the covey system? You can implement that one too. But the best part is–it’s free. If you have an iPhone, you pay a minimal fee and it’ll sync right up. It works like a charm on my phone.

Have a look, play around with it…or at least put it on your to-do list.

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True.  But then again isn’t personal development about changing and changing for the better?  I have found that anything worth having never comes easy.  Hence every 5 years or so I find myself going through a mid-life crisis—or better I experience…

DEFINING MOMENTS.

It happens to all of us.  For example, one day you find yourself sitting at your desk and realize that you hate the job you’re in and want to do something else.

Or you look at your unhappy life and KNOW you deserve better.

Or, as happened to a good friend of mine who realized that she’d rather be happy playing the piano the rest of her life than moving up in the high-powered world of business.

The truth is those thoughts don’t just pop up on THAT day.  Those thoughts were most likely a long time coming—probably five years coming.

But there is a key to them.  Those moments pass. You feel them.  They exist.  And then they’re gone.

What do you do about them?

The key is TAKING ACTION.  Take action on those thoughts and feelings.

Because the truth is that thinking about something is NOT an action.

It can be ANY action at all.  Don’t think that you can make a change right away.  For example, if you think of quitting your job, start working on a new resume.  That is an action.  No need to get up and announce you’re quitting your job RIGHT NOW.

And to show that I don’t just talk the talk but walk the walk, I’ll tell you about action that I am taking.  I have always wanted to show people how much FUN it can be to improve your life.  I read a lot of blogs on personal development.  I like 80% of what I read.

But personal development is HARD. And the only thing that keeps me striving to be a better person is a sense of humor about it.  Without a sense of humor, you’ll feel like a failure more often than not (even when you DO succeed).  I’ve tried injecting humor into this blog or making some wild comparisons (Doomsday Cults and overcoming disappointment and failure) to get you to think differently.

And now, I want to do more of that.  I’ll take the actions necessary to turn this blog into an informative but fun place to come to.  The first action was this post.  Look for other actions to follow, including working with some colorful writers to help me inject some fun into all our lives.

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And oh boy did they listen…

From 1840, “Millerism” became a phenomenon.  The ranks were swelling and Miller was pressed to come up with an exact date for Christ’s return.  Finally, after consulting the Bible and the calendar of the Kariate Jews, the date was set–October 22, 1844.

Given the fact that we are still here, Christ failed to return.  And left in the wake of the failed return of Christ, were Miller and his followers.  One follower said of the event:

“I waited all Tuesday [October 22] and dear Jesus did not come;– I waited all the forenoon of Wednesday, and was well in body as I ever was, but after 12 o’clock I began to feel faint, and before dark I needed someone to help me up to my chamber, as my natural strength was leaving me very fast, and I lay prostrate for 2 days without any pain– sick with disappointment.”

The event would later be known as the Great Disappointment.  Miller would die in 1849, still awaiting the imminent return of Christ.

We’ve all experienced disappointments and failures.  But disappointment and failure are often due to forces beyond your control.  For example, no one could predict the economic crisis that hit America.  Many people lost a lot of money and there was in many cases nothing they could have done to prevent it.

Yes, we should take every precaution to give ourselves a chance to succeed.  But this isn’t about preventing failure.  It’s about dealing with it.  So, what can we do?

Decide to change the way you react to disappointment and failure.

One way to do this is to reinterpret the event that led to the disappointment.  Disappointment is a reaction.  Instead follow the wisdom of philosopher Paul Reubens, who said in his treatise Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, “I meant to do that.”

An action that’s already happened cannot be changed.  You can only change your thoughts.  By reinterpreting the event, you look for the positive things to come from it.  I do not suggest you do this right after it happens.  But do it a little bit afterwards.  Write down the positive effects.

Here are two examples from my personal life:

Fired from my job–>led me to a MUCH better job 30 days later that would determine my career

Lost my biggest client–>freed me to do a more fulfilling project, reduced my stress 1000%

Maybe in 10 years, the whole story will change.  Instead of being fired from my job, I’ll say I quit and got a better one.  Or I’ll say I dropped that client to do something meaningful.  Memory is a funny thing.

But that is the key.  The events didn’t change.  My thoughts about those events did change.

And that is the way to deal with disappointment and failure.

Now, how did the Millerites dealt with their Great Disappointment?  They broke up into several groups who had their own explanations for the Great Disappointment.  From one of these groups arose  The Seventh-Day Adventist Church.

Last time I checked, they’re at 17 million members and counting….

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But I did something instead that saved everything.

I told my boss that I was using my vacation days. To this I was told that there was no possible way I could take a vacation. Too much work. This was not the right time. I was “needed.” I’ve heard the same thing every time I asked for a vacation. But this time I made a determined effort to take a vacation, and I did.

It is sad to say that Americans use only about 13 vacation days a year. That’s compared to 25 days a year taken right here in South Korea. And I know there is a lot of fear people have for not taking vacations, especially in this economy.

But is it worth the cost? The most common fear I hear is the fear of losing your job for taking a vacation. I don’t know about you, your business, or your company but mot likely you will not be fired and your business will not go under while you’re on vacation.

Your imagined fears are much greater than your real fears.

Benefits of a vacation

There are three reasons why you need a vacation

1. Mental Refreshment

When I asked for my vacation I was near burnout. I’m not the only one. Vacations mentally refresh you. People who do not take vacations tend to seek mental refreshment through internet surfing or some other unproductive activity. And some people choose quitting their jobs over taking vacation.

Take a vacation before deciding to quit.

2. Physical Refreshment

Stress causes weigh gain, hair loss, and whole assortment of physical ailments. Being away from stress can improve your health.

3. Vacations Make you More Productive

You are more productive BEFORE and AFTER a Vacation. Think about how you prepare for your vacation. Those are THE most productive moments you’ll ever have. I’ve tried working like I prepare for a vacation. It can do it to some extent. But not every day (though I’m working on it).

Most people I know are afraid of returning to a barrage of e-mails, messages, etc. upon returning from their vacations. But most work can wait. In fact, how much of your work e is time sensitive?

So, now you know you need a vacation. But how do you have a real vacation versus setting up a mini-office?

How to Avoid Getting Sucked into Work

1. Leave your iPhone/Blackberry/laptop/whatever at home

If you really need to check your mail, go to a library/internet café/whatever. You may think checking email is important when you have the opportunity right in front of you, but you’d be shocked at how unimportant it really is if you have to travel for it.

Some people will advise you to change your mindset about vacations. But changing a mindset takes years. The easiest way to avoid working is to not allow yourself to work.

2. Change your messages
Setup an email autoresponder to say you are out of the office and specify when you’ll return. Do this on your voice mail as well. Do NOT give them a number where they can reach you.

3. Give your contact information to ONE person only

If everyone knows how to reach you, the greater the chance someone will want to contact you. Just let one person know how to contact you, and make sure that person knows that contact is for a true emergency. And leave them a hotel number since you won’t have a phone with you.

The best vacation I have ever had involved me climbing Mt. Fuji. It was a vacation 10 years in the making. And I didn’t need to blog from the mountaintop or call anyone. No one could get a hold of me on the mountain and later when I went to an internet café to check my mail—no messages.

A vacation is a vacation. Work is work.

I’ll leave you with that.

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• The Stealth Murderer of Productivity Part 3 of How to Be More Productive And Eliminate Useless Activities That Murder Efficiency (0)
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They might even work. Who knows? The problem with most of us is not going on a diet. One of my friends goes on a diet almost every day until dinner when he hits his favorite diner for a monster burger and batter-dipped fries.

The problem is sticking to a diet.

Today, I’ll show you a way that will significantly improve your chances of sticking to a diet.

Here goes:

Start a food journal.

A food journal is a great way to keep track of your calories. And the best part is that there are a lot of free programs on the web that will tell you about nutrition information and break down the carb-protein-fat content of your food if you’re so inclined to go into detail.

The main part of any diet is the old maxim: burn more calories than you take in and you’ll lose weight.

A food journal lets you keep track of the calories you take in and burn.

But to make it successful, I’ll give you three tips:

1. OVER-estimate calories.

Sometimes you are not sure if you had 1 serving or 2 servings. Write 2 in your food journal. It’s better to over-estimate than under-estimate. Under-estimating can give you an excuse to eat more than you normally would. As an addendum to this, don’t over-estimate the times you exercise (some online journals will allow you to note activities to see how many calories are burned)

2. Write down calories in beverages

Yep. Coke has calories. Put sugar in tea? Better write it down. We take in more calories from beverages than we’d care to admit (I never realized how many calories I took in from that ice cold beer!)

3. Note the times you eat

Do you eat like a bird in the morning and binge at night? Take note of these things so you can more carefully space out your meals.

I found that while a food journal is not a way to lose weight, it is a powerful tool to help you. It can hold you accountable and help you identify what kinds of foods are giving you the most calories.

A couple of decent online food journals I’ve used are:

www.fitday.com
www.calorie-count.com

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Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something. I don’t know, I wasn’t really paying attention.

As my friend and author Steve Harper likes to say, we have two ears and one mouth and we should use them proportionally.  I agree with this 100%. But the movie got me thinking: Harry obviously listened to his girlfriend (he has ears, doesn’t he). But is listening itself important?  Or is it how you listen that’s important?  And is listening the same thing as paying attention?

The truth is we listen to people every day.  And a ton of books tell us how we have to be good listeners.  But can we take a cue from Harry?  If Harry had just “paid attention,” would his girlfriend had felt like he had “listened” to her?

Actually, there are many different types of listening.  In today’s post, I will talk about five of them.

Appreciative listening

Appreciative listening is where you listen to simply enjoy the listening experience.  This is the way we tend to listen when we are at a concert, club, or other fun venue.  Here you are listening for the joy of listening itself.  However, if you’ve ever talked to someone and it looks like they have “lost interest” in what you are saying, most likely they are utilizing appreciative listening.  Mostly likely they no longer “appreciate” what you’re saying.   This is what Harry was doing in the movie.  Obviously, he did not “appreciate” what his girlfriend told him.

Empathetic listening

Emphatic listening is when you are listening to support the person speaking.   We’ve all done this.  When our friends or spouses vent about their problems and we just listen to it, we are using empathetic listening.  We are showing how much we care when we listen like this.

I get the feeling that when Harry’s girlfriend talked to him about her troubles, she might have been looking for him to listen like this.

Comprehensive listening

Comprehensive listening is listening to organize the information given by the speaker. When you re listened like this trying to apply the information to your personal experience. Some examples might include taking directions, trying to figure out what to do next, etc.

Discerning listening

Discerning listening is listening to gather information.  With discerning listening, you are listening to find the main message.  An example might include going to a seminar and trying to find out what the whole point of a speech is about.

Evaluative listening

With evaluative listening, you are listening in order to solve the problem of the person speaking.  For example, if someone is telling you about their annoying co-worker, the evaluative listener will problem offer up different ways in which the person can deal with the co-worker.

Evaluative listeners are typically in problem-solving mode.

Now, how does this all apply to you?  Surely it can apply in more ways than I can talk about in one blog post.  But consider this:

You are venting to your friend about your bad day looking for a little sympathy, and your friend starts telling you about ways in which you could have made it better.  How does it make you feel?  Do you think your friend is really listening to you?

He is, just not the way you wanted him to.

So, keep these things in mind.  Try to see how you are listening to others.  And be aware of how others are listening to you.

I’d like to give a brief plug for Tim Ursiny’s book, “The Coward’s Guide to Conflict” that introduced the ways of listening to me.

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Did the diet work?

Well…it’s been a while since I’ve posted to the blog. What happened?

Did I go crazy from the lack of msnbc.com? Think maybe I couldn’t cope without knowing what was going on in the world? Wait! Presidential election? You mean there was an election? I finally checked out msnbc.com today and that guy looks nothing like Bush!

Just kidding. It seems that I was so productive at work that I was sent into a spiral of work that nearly led me to complete burnout. I am not kidding at all. The big downside of being productive is you might be expected to kick it up a notch. And like some people, it took me a while to get skillful in understanding my limitations and the need to pace oneself.

The great thing is I am still alive. I’ve learned a ton of life lessons all along the way, and I regret not sharing them with my readers.

But all that is about to change. As you can see, I have revamped the blog and I will be making more exciting changes along the way.

With renewed vigor I bring back Possess Less Exist More to help others find fulfillment in life from within instead of from without.

Special thanks to all my friends who stuck with me through my difficult times (you know who you are).

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To paraphrase Al Pacino, “The more I try to get productive, the more they try to suck me back in to un-productivity.”

Since I was getting my work done so quickly, people in my office started asking me if I could “help” them (do their work for them) or “discuss a few things” (talk about nothing).

These time vampires (to borrow a term from Dan Kennedy) literally sucked all my productive time away.

Well, today I will employ a tactic my 4-year-old uses—the NO tactic.

I have written about it before, and have used it to great success. But it seems that when you start getting more productive, the time vampires smell blood. They figure that since you’re not “busy” you have time for them.

So, I will be cultivating my “busy” image even more. And when people ask me for help, I will use some phrases like:

“I’d love to, but I really have to take care of something right now.”

“I only have a minute because I’m on my way to X. Let me see what I can do now.” –Only at the end of yesterday did I employ this tactic (because it was true). But by forcing people to deal with me right then and there and putting a short time limit on it, those “emergencies” completely disappeared.

Do not and I repeat DO NOT let them say they can talk to you about it later. With the time vampires, if you leave the door open for them to “ask you later” then by gosh they sure will come by and ask you something later.

We’ll see how combining NO tactics with my media fast improves my productivity.

On the LeBron Front

It’s amazing what you can learn from headline news! I heard briefly that there was some trade to help out LeBron.

Now, I wasn’t able to read commentary telling me what to think about this trade. And I don’t even know the details. So, I can’t be so sure if this qualifies as giving LeBron respect.

I mean the media could spin the trade in so many ways so as to show utmost disrespect to LeBron. I’m sure they can. But since I’m not reading it, I don’t know.

I just have to deal with the raw facts of the matter and make up my own mind about what it means. Here goes that critical thinking again.

But with all the stories about the trade I’m sure some joker of a sportscaster will talk about how LeBron has “no more excuses” or use some other term that shows disrespect to LeBron. So, I’ll hedge my best and say they are still disrespecting him.

The protest continues…

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The results so far?

Here are a few things I’ve started to notice from my media fast:

#1 Productivity has nearly doubled, but I have a lot of work

I roughly doubled my productivity. I’ll give myself a few more days to see if this wasn’t just a fluke. But what used to take me all morning and half and half an afternoon now took me only 3 hours.

I’d say that’s pretty good. Was I mindlessly surfing that much?

But this sudden jump in productivity made me realize I do have a lot of work. I’ll need to address that issue pronto!

#2 Is my critical thinking kicking it up a notch?

I do love politics and political news. As one my regular commentators to this blog Corinne Edwards said she couldn’t live without MSNBC, I was starting to feel the same way.

You see, I like election coverage. From headline news I know who’s winning the primaries. But without reading all the commentary, it feels like I don’t have anyone to tell me what to think anymore.

I may have to start thinking for myself. Perish the thought.

Seriously though. I get this same feeling I used to get in college. I used to read primary sources so I could come up with my own conclusions before reading others’. But with news, I find myself looking to see what others say before I make up my mind.

Media fast day #1 is showing me that I can come up with my own opinion about Barack Obama’s victory sans three columnists telling me what I should think about it and all the major implications thereof.

#3 Playing toy animals with a 4-year-old is quite fun

Cutting out some TV, I instead played animals with my daughter. I mean WOW! That kid does a spot on imitation of me and her teachers at school. She thinks I’m a zebra.

I thought I should be the lion, but nope…zebra.. There you have it. In the animal kingdom, I’m a zebra. Her teacher, however, got to be a tiger. My daughter was a small tiger.

I think I preferred it when my daughter was on a Star Wars kick and I got to be the Emperor.

#4 Lost is a cool show

I picked up the first season of Lost on DVD. I took in 45 minutes of TV this evening and watched an episode. Cool show.

I’ll tell you though. It pained me to listen to Daniel Dae Kim’s Korean. I’m sure most Americans don’t know, but I certainly hear the difference in his Korean and Kim Yunjin’s. No matter though. I liked Daniel Dae Kim in Crusade, so I won’t hold his Korean ability against him too much.

#5 Somewhere out there is LeBron James still getting disrespected?

Of course, my protest continues! Because I am not reading any sports pages, I have no idea whether or not LeBron is getting any respect. I assume he is not.  But this media fast continues until LeBron James is shown some respect.

Those are my thoughts for today. I’ll keep you posted on this media fast and you can read more on how it is affecting my work and my life.

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