CARNALIS

dotty love, part 3

noreply@blogger.com (Carnalis) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 20:33:00 +0000

One of my favourite outfits. There is nothing else to it, except perhaps a smile.

dotty love, part 2

noreply@blogger.com (Carnalis) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 14:34:00 +0000

I dream of kissing with men I love. In my dreams there is never any guilt and the combinations surprise even myself.

skin-deep

noreply@blogger.com (Carnalis) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 22:30:00 +0000

I've always been happy with my freckled limbs, happy enough to have shown them to you frequently, and never shy to show a lover.

Now one of these brown dots has turned bad, and another is heading the same way. I have had one slice taken, and there will be more. And a skin graft .. I can't deny i would like a little tuck too, but I don't suppose they will oblige. Once the freckles are removed then I am not to worry about them - at the moment they are only in the epidermis and can be removed completely and without further treatment. I am very lucky.

I have a series of dotty pictures which I will post here in celebration.

In the main

noreply@blogger.com (Carnalis) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 22:04:00 +0000

I don't know how to make this plate of pasta pretty, so have gone for simplicity in black & white; simplicity is it's beauty in the pan for sure. Crushed garlic and 6 slices of bacon thinly scissored into strips gently sizzled in olive oil, then a can of tomatoes and one anchovy added (it just adds a depth of flavour). Simmer while the pasta cooks, at the last minute add a can of drained and rinsed cannellini beans and a few black olives. Season.

The children eat this without complaint (one hates tomatoes, the other, beans, so i was delighted with their clean dishes) and it has a good quote of protein (keeps you fuller for longer!). My current favourite after-swim supper. What's yours?

Simplicity in smut is equally appealing.

"I want to see you naked" is, for me, a charming and extremely effective enticement.

Coconut, Banana & Dried Cherry Loaf

noreply@blogger.com (Carnalis) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 21:50:00 +0000

This cake is too good. Sweet, fruity, moist with a slight (almost oaty) texture as you bite down. That texture .. is so important, don't you think?

Nigella Lawson's Coconut, Banana & Dried Cherry Loaf

125g soft unsalted butter
4 small-medium ripe bananas (approx. 500g with skin on)
150g caster sugar
2 eggs
175g plain flour (or 170g gluten-free flour)
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
100g dried cherries
100g shredded sweetened coconut

Preheat the oven to 170ºC. Put a loaf liner into your loaf tin – I always use loaf liners, it makes life much simpler.
Melt the butter in a saucepan, and take it off the heat. Peel and mash the bananas in another bowl.
Beat the sugar into the cooled, melted butter, then beat in the mashed banana and the eggs. Fold in the flour, baking powder and bicarb. Finally, add the dried cherries and coconut.
Fold well so that everything is incorporated, then pour and scrape into the lined loaf tin and smooth the top.

Bake for about 50 minutes, but start checking after 45. When ready, the bread will be coming away from the sides of the tin and feel quite bouncy on top.
Once out of the oven, leave it in the tin for 10 minutes before removing to a wire tray to cool.

newness

noreply@blogger.com (Carnalis) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 17:30:00 +0000

wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Yeh, lots of that happening here.

Did I mention that I had a 'bound to please' gift box from coco de mer for christmas? All manner of slippery, shiny, silkiness. And glass. The combination of sweet scented orange blossom lubricant on a curve of glass, warmed in hot water then my own internal heat, a twisted solid skein in my hand extending deep inside me, a brutal hardness that dissolves my cunt to a molten nest.

Happy New Year.

Neat

noreply@blogger.com (Carnalis) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 11:15:00 +0000

He has large hands that swamp mine when we hold hands even though I am no small-boned hen. This has the added benefit that, during his welcome administrations, my bottom seems exquisitely neat within his cupped embrace. Happy New Year to you all xx

a final HNT

noreply@blogger.com (Carnalis) — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 14:33:00 +0000

"Half-Nekkid Thursday. It all started on May 19, 2005, among a small handful of friends. It exploded to become an internet phenomenon! There's no way to accurately predict how many individuals participated in HNT. Some people only joined in once or twice. Many have done literally hundreds. But based on estimates from a couple of years ago, it would not be outside the realm of possibility that 2500 or more people have joined the fun! Add to that the number of lurkers that enjoyed checking out HNTs without posting their own, or even commenting, and you might be able to double that number" ... read more here

or go here for mine ..

A compliment

noreply@blogger.com (Carnalis) — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 23:11:00 +0000

I've been sick for days and had a minor op so sex hasn't been as appealing as usual but I had no intention of allowing Christmas day to pass without some mutual satisfaction. Happily one of my presents was suitably stimulating .. A gift box from my favourite emporium of tricks, Coco de mer. I'll post pics later (why can't I upload pics to blogger from my iPhone?) Anyway, my gift included a book, which entertained us for while before we took to our bed and forgot to turn the pages. "you don't need a book" he says later, breathlessly, "you could write one instead". And I thought with amusement of my beloved blog and how much I used to enjoy the salacious detailing.

Full stockings

noreply@blogger.com (Carnalis) — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 23:28:00 +0000

I can't remember a Christmas eve when I have felt so utterly content, and shall never again underestimate the importance of such a state of mind. Merry christmas to my wonderful readers, few tho you maybe I treasure every one of you Xx

The title of the post refers, of course, to my children's festive treats, and to my boyfriend's bedtime surprise too.

Tap tap

noreply@blogger.com (Carnalis) — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 19:35:00 +0000

Still sick and not really with it. Merry Christmas everyone, will post some festive food when I get a chance x

My Waldorf

noreply@blogger.com (Carnalis) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 23:28:00 +0000

I had forgotten how good this salad can be.

a handful of chopped, slightly toasted walnuts (or pecans)
2 sticks of celery, thinly sliced
1 cup green seedless grapes, sliced
2 sweet red-skinned apple, cored and chopped

Whisk together the following:

2 tablespoon mayonnaise
1 tablespoon greek yoghurt
1 tablespoon dijon mustard
half a freshly squeezed lemon to taste
Salt
Pepper

Combine all the ingredients with a generous portion of watercress.

Today I am in a dreamy, subby contentment that can really only be achieved by a firm hand against my cheek plus his assured determination to make me gasp out loud repeatedly. He understands that my act of capitulation is restoration. I ache everywhere.

loss

noreply@blogger.com (Carnalis) — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 00:00:00 +0000

We spend too much time apart, him and I. I sleep with a hot water bottle behind my knees and imagine it his body that keeps me warm. He sleeps with my nightie tucked under his pillow so he has my scent as he drifts off. Would it change and be less significant if we lived together?

possibly pregnant

noreply@blogger.com (Carnalis) — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 20:46:00 +0000

.. at 43. Ironically I had ignored my body's patient but plaintive messages for several weeks until i started to bleed. So it is just a fleeting possibility; nothing more but never less.

I am detached. I feel better and healthier now as if a physical weight far, far greater than the fraction of an ounce of soul has been lost. As much as i would love to carry another child I know it would be exhausting. The advantage of being 43, i have discovered, is that it doesn't matter that i was pregnant, nor that i am no longer pregnant. Either way is bearable, neither way is terrible, i am at peace with whatever my body needs.

Some of you may know my history when it comes to failed pregnancies. I don't suppose anyone is more surprised than I that I can accept with just a little sadness to have lost again.

battered

noreply@blogger.com (Carnalis) — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 12:51:00 +0000

Today I have a tender point on my upper lip, a puffiness barely visible in the mirror but exaggerated by the sensitivity of my mouth to feel distorted and decadent. Last night I lay on my belly and found twin circles of heat as I flattened my breasts against the mattress. They are an echo of his teeth and cock, a sensory moment to enjoy in the quiet of departure.

My hot chocolate cake, sugar beaten into butter until the cream is silky smooth. The trick, it appears, is to bake twin loaf cakes so the batter doesn't spill during cooking. I took 5 minutes off the cooking time towards the end; perfection in a chocolate cake.

revelations 1.1

noreply@blogger.com (Carnalis) — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 23:32:00 +0000

Walking down Marlow highstreet on a crisp cold saturday afternoon, window shopping lingerie together. He turned to me with a small smile.

"You're my posh girl who's just a little filthy underneath"

Possibly the sweetest thing he's ever said to me.

walls have eyes

noreply@blogger.com (Carnalis) — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 22:53:00 +0000

It was a small gesture, but I think significant.

I deliberately left him alone in my bedroom to strip the wallpaper.

Which meant he moved the bed .. and found my literature. All of it. The swinging manuals, the girl on girl romance, the stud stuff, the BDSM, the kinky, the arty and the explicit. And laughably, my copy of Wonder of The Universe with the slightly bedraggled pages of the beautiful Brian Cox (which he carefully put under my pillow, for later reference).

"I wouldn't have you any other way" he says.

I have my period," I said "but we could work around it."

Thank you for all your comments on the last post. I'm anxious about hurting his feelings, I hope that taking it slowly will avoid any discomfort (in every sense of the word).

Oh yes .. and i got smooooth walls, too.

You want some savoury?

Try this:

A 5lb pork shoulder, with generously scored skin.
Place in a colander over the sink, douse the fatty side with a kettleful of boiling water, allow to dry for 15 minutes or so.
A big pinch of dried oregano, and tablespoon of flaky salt, rubbed into the open creases in the fat.
20 minutes in a hot, hot oven.
5 hours in a low oven, about 150ºC
Very happy boys at my table ...

rhetorical

noreply@blogger.com (Carnalis) — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 22:27:00 +0000

How would you feel if your girlfriend kept lube and a couple (at least) of vibes in her cosmetic bag? For some reason I have become self conscious of my sexuality, or perhaps I am worried that he imagines I am insatiable. I should ask him whether it bothers him, shouldn't I.

it is not always sweaty

noreply@blogger.com (Carnalis) — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 21:00:00 +0000

Lying side by side naked in my bed, watching his fingers grip mine as we contemplate the sky.

makeshift

noreply@blogger.com (Carnalis) — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 11:59:00 +0000

He makes an appreciative noise and I realise he has pushed my knees deeper for a clearer view. I wriggle in protest at the discomfort of exposure so he simply sinks his weight heavier on my hips and pauses while we gently battle until my thighs eventually spread further to a rigid, open acceptance.

Because it incenses me he lets fall from his mouth a frothy puddle of saliva with a practised aim. The hot spit floods the crease between my cheeks, shockingly wet on the most sensitive spot on my body, a marker for his intent.

perfect synergy

noreply@blogger.com (Carnalis) — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 21:11:00 +0000

We are lying in our bed on a sunday morning, listening to the seagulls taunt us from the brightness outside, contemplating darker days.

"What card games do you know" I ask "for when it is wintery and cold and we don't want to go outside?"

"We don't need card games" he says sensibly, "we can just stay in bed and make out."

soft centre

noreply@blogger.com (Carnalis) — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 20:16:00 +0000

Sticky, mallowy soft meringue, eaten out of my lap. I didn't mind so much that i got sweet fondue in my hair but i was mortified to discover that i had proudly worn a chalky white smear of icing sugar across the right breast of my snug sweater during a dash around Waitrose.

*

My boyfriend and my husband, both angling for a invitation to stay over on friday night. It's as bizarre as it sounds.

at my table

noreply@blogger.com (Carnalis) — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 20:43:00 +0000

The weekend is my time to be a kitchen goddess (so I like to imagine). I took no photos during the last few days but I am going to transcribe my recipes regardless because they all worked so very well. Happy tummies all round.

Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall is going vegetable mad this season, and I agree with his thinking ... autumn is the time to break free from the dogma of meat, even if briefly.

Big Baked Mushrooms

1 tsp oil
8 large portabella mushrooms
20g unsalted butter
2 garlic cloves, finely chopped
60g mature cheddar, grated

Preheat the oven to 190ºC. lightly oil a roasting tray. Out the mushrooms, open-side onto the tray, dot with butter, scatter over the garlic and season.

Bake for 15 minutes until the mushrooms are tender and juicy. Serve as they are or sprinkle with cheese and return to the oven for 5 minutes until golden and bubbling.

And yet another recipe I picked up from Waitrose: don't be put off by their anaemic photo. I used chicken thighs, a packet of lardons and a pheasant from the freezer which i pot roasted in a little red wine, and then cut up into big bites. The pan juices from the pheasant contributed greatly to the dish. Nor did I bother with a pea and bean mix and instead used a swede, cut into little cubes, and a handful of mushrooms that I had in the freezer. I did add the tarragon and the sour cream, for a happy conclusion.

The leftovers worked even better: I reduced the sauce for 10 minutes, dissolving some frozen spinach as it heated. Added to a panful of pasta, more sour cream and a healthy dose of parmesan we quickly scoffed the lot.

I am on a mission to educate my children so make them a different curry every week or so. This is my (and their) favourite so far.

Roopa Gulati's Weekender Lamb Curry, unashamedly copied verbatim from the October edition of Waitrose Kitchen.

1 tsp fennel seeds
3tbsp vegetable oil
1 tsp cumin seeds
6 cardamom pods, split
1tsp dried chilli flakes
1 cinnamon stick
3 red onions, grated or very finely chopped
6 garlic cloves, crushed
5cm fresh root ginger, grated
750g lamb neck fillet
2 bay leaves
400g can chopped tomatoes
1tsp turmeric
3 green chillies, deseeded and roughly chopped
1 tsp garam masala
250g charlotte potatoes, halved
175g turnips, peeled and cut into 4cm cubes
350ml chicken stock
2 tbsp chopped coriander

Heat a small frying pan on a medium heat and toast the fennel seeds for about 20 seconds or until they give off a sweet aniseedy scent. Using a pestle and mortar, pound them to a powder and set aside.

Heat the oil over a medium heat in a large, lidded ovenproof casserole and add the cumin, cardamom, chilli and cinnamon. Stir and fry the spices until they give off a nutty aroma (about 20 seconds)

Add the onions and fry for 10 minutes, stirring often, until goden. Add the ginger, garlic and 75ml water; cook for 1 minutes until the water has evaporated.

Preheat the oven to 170ºC. Tip the lamb and bay leaves into the pan and fry for about 10 minutes until well browned, stirring all the time. Add a dash of water if the meat starts to catch.

Stir in the tomatoes, turmeric, green chilies, garam masala, potatoes, turnips and crushed fennel. Simmer for 5-7 minutes til the tomatoes have cooked down.

Pour over the stock, bring to a simmer and cover. Transfer to the oven for 1 hour 15 minutes, until the meat is tender. Scatter with the chopped coriander and served with flatbreads or rice, and some yogurt.

A photo, just because i can.

every time the same

noreply@blogger.com (Carnalis) — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 14:26:00 +0000

I walk down the stairs as he comes through the front door.

We clash lips on the 3rd step up, me rubbing my face into his hair and neck to absorb his scent, his hands cupping me from rear and front in urgent succession. My skirt hem is around my hips, his shoes kicked to the hall floor, his feet now slipping on the silk lining of his suit trousers as they descent to his ankles. We hold on to each other as support becomes more necessary than heat, laugh and head for more stable ground but the haste is still upon us and it is good.

seasonal bounty

noreply@blogger.com (Carnalis) — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 19:33:00 +0000

Did I mention crumble? My children love the sweetness and crunch of a crisp baked crust.

Before, then after.

Particularly when there is soft, moist cake underneath. I fiddle with this recipe often, using hedgerow fruits or berries from the garden (or freezer). I then offset the luxury of butter and sugar in excess with a wholesome (if similarly rib-sticking) soup. Red peppers, chorizo, butter beans and black nero; a huge bear hug in a bowl.

We are going to supper with friends on Saturday. He assures me that he has passed on my dietary needs, and my preferences. Well, hopefully not ALL my preferences.