Coffee Break With Me

De-cluttering my space-challenged wardrobe

2012-01-23T01:36:00.001+08:00

Tonight I have nothing better to do so I decided to de-clutter my wardrobe and make room for new clothes (heh, my new year resolution is to buy nice clothes that I will feel confident in my own skin!).

I started the de-cluttering process at 8pm. At first I wanted to change the shelving system by moving the lower shelf to above the hanging rod. But my ever so helpful hubby told me that the cupboard is not designed to be flexible.

Immediately I hate my cupboard. Baru nak berangan2 ada wardrobe macam dalam katalog IKEA. Ces.

Anyway I had to work around the same look but I lowered the shelf to just above the bottom box where I store our kain batik and pelikat. I'll probably nail the shelf tomorrow when we can do noisy work (night-time is a no-no).

I racked my brain and godek2 the Internet to find some inspirations as to how to fully maximize my very small cupboard to store our clothes.

To my irritation, when I googled 'how to organise clothes in small cupboard' the images that appeared are wardrobe that are not small at all, they can even hold a few shelves of shoes! Hmmph. I guess the Western people's idea of small is not that small. Spacious to them is a walk-in wardrobe or closet after all!

So yeah, i was on my own to create a tidy, organized and highly functional wardrobe out of such a confined space.

The first thing I did was to take out all the clothes and separate them according to 'daily use', 'work wear', and 'cannot use anymore'. The latter is then further filtered into two categories - 'torn/yellowed/broken zip' and 'can't fit anymore but can still wear'. I then decided that I could make some money by selling the expensive pre-loved and not fit clothes anymore later.

I bought this top at Communique, price RM79

Once I've sorted out the clothes, I chose which clothes to keep folded on racks and which to hang. Basically those that are hung are jackets, trousers, coats, robe, and baju Melayu/kurung, while daily wear like blouses and work wear shirts are folded and kept on racks.

My biggest headache when it comes to messy cupboard are t-shirts. They are worn on daily basis, and therefore cannot be stacked folded because they'll end up coming undone when we pull them out. Knowing my dear hubby the type that can't be bothered to keep the cupboard in pristine conditions, I had to find a solution to store then in such a way that won't create a mess when we need to take one.

I had the 'a-hah!' moment when I remembered that we had a shelving organizer bought from IKEA we hardly used now that we had moved into new house. Previously I kept our little stuffs like socks and undies in the organiser but it was usually under-

I tied the organiser to the rod, rolled the t-shirts and slot them into the small shelf according to colours. When I was done, I beamed at my own creation:

Don't they just look lovely and tidy?

Same goes for the bath towels. Initially I plan to keep the towels in the bathroom cabinet once it is installed. But since our bathroom is still in progress, I just stack them vertically in the box so it can easily be pulled out when we want one without messing the others.

The de-cluttering process ended at 12am. Phew! But overall I'm happy with the result. It just goes to show that even with limited space,I can still have a pretty organised cupboard.

I've also made up my mind with each new item I purchase, I'll take out one item that I hardly use so I won't end up hoarding stuffs that will end up overcrowding my wardrobe.

Now I can stock up on new clothes. Hurray! If only I have tonnes of money to buy clothes right now in the midst of home renovation! :P

Ladida, ladida...

2012-01-07T01:19:00.002+08:00

First of all, Happy New Year 2012 everybody! May this year brings only the best and nothing but the best for each of us :)

It's 1am, I know. I sound a bit too perky at this hour because I had a cuppa two of coffee. Yes, I'm supposed to study because exam is just around the corner. It's waiting to jump out on me, catching me by surprise. I'm freaking out because I have not been studying at all! Why I'm so lazy, only God knows!

Anyway, it doesn't mean that I'm having the time of my life lazing around. I'm pretty occupied with a lot of things - work, for example. Then Khayla is getting a handful nowadays. She just plainly refuses to be with anyone other than me at nights. My lovely wedded husband of 4 years are having fun relishing on that fact - in plain words, he is happy to leave Khayla stuck at my hips (or the boobs, most of the time now) while he... studies.

But the thing that is taking so much of my attention and energy (as well as my financial resource) is none other than our house renovation works. YES, people of the world, I'm doing house renovation on top of my studies and work and a baby, you can spit it out to me now. I'm CRAZY, I sooo know that!

Tonight I received an SMS from a dear friend and ex-housemate who has just embarked on the journey of motherhood - 'Are you taking some sort of supplement to keep you going because you seem to have so much energy juggling work, study and a baby???' I stared incredulously at my iPhone screen. Is she accusing me of taking some energy-boosting drug to turn me into an Energizer bunny?

No, Kak Za. It's called being a Gemini. The one who gets bored easily and needs a lot of things to keep her mind occupied.

But that's not really true. It's just that I'm bad at being patient. I can't wait until my baby grows up before I embark on my study. I can't wait until my studies finish until I start on the house renovation. I want everything to be done NOW! This INSTANCE! AT ONCE! Yes, I'm impatient and greedy. So sue me.

Back to renovation works.

I've been here twice - once before we moved in, and the other, this current project. Both times, it's not an easy process. I can bet that the only people who enjoy renovation is the stores that sell all those renovation materials. Renovation needs constant monitoring. And firm decisions. And constant monitoring. And of course, a really deep pocket. For a person who is fickle-minded, I don't enjoy making decisions especially when I am the one doling out the cash to finance that decision. I am the type of person who don't think deeply and wisely, with that helicopter view because I like to be fast. Fast decision makers are shallow-minded, and zoom in on what they feel is best at micro level. That's me people. So imagine how it feels that after a while, you think that maybe you don't need that much lighting (but it's already installed!), or that kind of kitchen cabinet (but it's already installed and paid for!).

What's worse is renovation work after moving in. You have to put up with a lot of inconveniences - example, the dusty floor (and all the surfaces in your house), the ugly sight of hacked walls, the fact that you can't use your washing machine because the water supply connects with the bathroom that you are renovating so it has to be cut, etc. etc.

But the worst thing is when during renovation, your in-laws decided to come. Gasp, gasp! What to do, ladies and gentlemen? You can't have your in-laws coming in when your house is at its worst!

Thankfully, our contractor feels responsible for the inconveniences that we have to face. So Internet, behold. Tomorrow, we will be evicted from our own house to occupy a serviced apartment in the city for a couple of days while they finish the renovation works. At least, I'll be spared the embarrassment of having a house resembling 'tongkang pecah'.

Anyway, I hope that the renovation is going to end soon (next week please!), so we can go back to our peaceful (and even more beautiful) house after a hectic day at work. I hope so. I am praying for it so. Friends, please pray for us, before I totally lost my marbles.

Amin.

Hello 2012, Hello 3.0

2012-01-01T00:55:00.004+08:00

I'm about to enter the phase of 3.0 . Nope, it's not web3.0, nor is it Globalisation 3.0 as per my MIS lecture notes. The truth is, ladies and gentlemen, I'll still be in my 20s for another 6 months and then hello, age 30.

Before that, have you guys watched Disney-Pixar's cartoon movie 'Up'? The old man's wife fascinated me deeply because she knew exactly stuffs she wants to do when she grows up and actually had it written down in her 'Adventure Book'. Of course I was not that gung-ho, but I do remember some of the things I wanted to do when I grow up.

At the age of 6, I wanted a lot of things to happen. Simple, innocent things like boarding the plane, and going to university. Read my post about my dreams as a six-year-old in my post written 7 years ago (wow!).

At 10 years old, my idea of being 30 years old is well, old. With a few kids (5 to be exact, like what I told my friend Nick Chang when I was 14). Definitely a grown-up. Even being 20 years old is considered a grown-up back then.

Ok, fast-forward to me at age 20.

At that age, I was already in university (cross out this item from my life plan) and working hard towards being what I want to be at age 30. A successful career woman. My vision of me as 30 years old was, well - a confident, wise and very much well-to-do woman (WOMAN ok) who is breezing through her career in an international MNC and married to an engineer (what can I say, I went to an engineering varsity). Oh, I also revised the number of kids down to 2, although I'm still keeping an eye on the 5 kids vision. Let's just be a bit more realistic here, Internet.

So here I am. Almost 30. Have I actually made it, or did I break it?

1. Married, 2 kids (originally 5) - I would say, I almost made it. I got married at the age of 24, in 2006. I first became pregnant at the age of 26 (2008), but it was an unsuccessful pregnancy and left me traumatized for a few months following the miscarriage. Praise be to Allah, I became pregnant again at the age of 28 (2010), and we welcomed Khayla in December 2010. But, if my first pregnancy was successful, I would have taken this off from the list of stuffs I will do when I become 30.

2. Go to land of mat salehs (part 2 - Europe) - Refer to my entry in 2005, this was one of my to-do item back then. I'm proud to say - yes, this is definitely a completed item! Thanks to my sister who read my blog and then offered to take me to Paris in 2007. It was the most fabulous trip of my life. Then we had another accidental trip to Europe when my previous Company sent me to a conference in Madrid, Spain. Managed to persuade En Suami Terchenta to tag along so we could have our nth honeymoon (we lost count of how many honeymoons we had before Khayla come).

3. To own my own car and house. ~~Still working on that.~~ Checked. We bought our first car in 2006 (not a pleasant experience, mind you), but it was definitely a worthwhile purchase. Our CLK had brought us to countless destinations and served us most loyally despite my initial dislike to it because it wasn't the blue car that I ordered. Thank you CLK!
Secondly, the house. Like most things that happen in my life, it was pure accident that we found ourselves as house owner. We were shopping for household items at Jusco and a month later, found ourselves signing S&P agreement. Will blog about the house in details when I have the time.

4. To have enough money to shop for my own clothes - it's a difficult area here. I used to have the figure, but not the money. Now I have the money, and not the figure. But all in all, this is completed as far as I know.

5. To go to Mecca - still working on this.

6. To have a grand wedding (later revised to a simple but sweet wedding) - What was I thinking when I revised the vision?? Of course every brides want a big wedding! I wished I had paid more attention and details to my own wedding. As it was, I was too busy working and being in denial of the fact that I was getting married and forever tied down to a big commitment. So, suffice to say that my wedding preparation was my biggest regret and if I could turn back time, I would take all the time in the world to make it my big day. Yes, on top of a sea cliff, wearing white gown, sauntering beneath a beautiful arch, complete with perfect weather and everything.

7. Confident, wise, earn big salary working with MNC - Alhamdulillah, I had progressed well when it comes to my career. Even though I hate my job, I still do well in it. And money department is quite satisfactory. Although not really that high, I still have excess to save for rainy seasons and home renovations and whatnot.

Of course the confident and wise part is debatable. In fact, this is something that I am still working to achieve - being confident and comfortable enough to break away from the rat race and try my hand at being an entrepreneur and stay-at-home Mom who raise successful kids. Some day maybe.

8. To marry an engineer - My husband is a computer engineer. So yes. I married an engineer all right.

To sum up, I had had a good life, thank You Allah. I had managed to accomplish many things that I visualized myself of doing at certain stages in life, although most of them are done without really thinking (like getting married, having a baby and buying a house). I don't plan them either. It just happened. Life's like that.

This year, again I don't plan for what will happen. But this year, I will do what I did when I was 10 and 20 - I will visualize myself at the age of 40. What will I already accomplished as a 40 years old woman? I have yet to think. Only time will decide.

Sunday Activities

2011-12-12T00:23:00.000+08:00

Woke up this morning feeling not so well-rested. Hubby had crashed next to us after burning the midnight oil finishing his report. Khayla was already awake and doing her favorite activity - standing and holding to the bed head. Thinking to tease her, I shifted over to hubby and cuddled up to him - and as expected, Khayla felt left out and started to crawl over and try to get between us. She is such a jealous baby. Camane la nak ada adik ni?

Morning activity is the same. Prepared porridge for my little girl (broccoli, carrot and blended anchovies), and while waiting for it to cook, bathed her. Khayla soon started to crawl after me and whine for food after her bath - so I gave her a plate of chopped banana which she contentedly ate and afterwards, played with while sitting in her baby chair. After she had had enough of banana, I scooped some porridge and we settled down in front of the idiot box watching Babytv while having a proper breakfast.

Hubby had to leave for a group discussion and there was just the two of us to continue with the day. After finishing her porridge, she nuzzled closer for a cuddle and a round of breastfeeding session. After she dozed off, I put her down and went to hand wash her clothes - then put them for a spin in the washing machine. By that time, Khayla had woken up only to find Mommy is not around. It was already 12pm, I scooped her up and then brought her to the guest room to iron our clothes - we were going to a kenduri kahwin in Bukit Damansara.

After that, I had to leave Khayla by herself while I took a quick shower. She was in full tantrum mode by the time I was done, and yet I could not pick her up because I had to: 1) put on my clothes, 2) re-heat her porridge, 3) prepare a bottle of formula milk for the journey, 4) store the warm porridge in a container for the journey 5) pack her bag, 6) put on some makeup and my headscarf, 7) put everything in a carrier bag ready for the trip. After all was done, then only I picked up my crying little girl and changed her into a matching outfit ;)

Then we went down to the car, but once I had settled Khayla in her car seat, I couldn't find the GPS holder - then I remembered it was on the fridge (dammit!). So I made a quick dash (it was drizzling some more!) back to home (with Khayla) to fetch the GPS holder, and also to fetch her dummy. After she was settled down for the second time in her seat, I noticed that one of her sandals is missing. So it was a third trip to trace the sandal (without Khayla this time). By the time I went back to the car, my little girl was crying - again.

All set and done, we drove off to our first destination - the petrol station to fill up on fuel. Then, to the gift shop to get a wedding gift. After all that needed to be done was completed, then we set off.

It was lucky that I simulated the journey before we went for the trip because most of the journey, the GPS was not working. It is the stupidest GPS navigator I've ever invested in (it's called Papago, installed on iPhone 4). So I had to rely on my memory to reach the destination, based on the journey simulation.

We reached there at almost 2pm, Khayla had fallen asleep in the car after a bottle of milk and a nibble on a biscuit (she dozed off while holding the biscuit - such a dear sight). Getting out of the car while holding the baby, a bag and the gift was a chore - luckily I got a parking close to the entrance.

Khayla was hungry when she woke up and she ate a good deal of her porridge. After the wedding, she was in a better mood and she fell asleep again during the journey back. We decided to stop by at a bakery to order her first birthday cake this coming 15th. Gosh, I get teary-eyed whenever I think of my little baby who is growing up into a little girl. I wished we could spend a lot more time because I never get tired of my little baby.

We reached home at almost 4pm. By that time, I was tired and my hands were aching. After settling down a bit, we both took an afternoon nap - such a wonderful nap it was!

Never will I venture out of the house with only the two of us - it's too tiring! So, how's your weekend, my friends? :)

Vomit Blood Series #2: Feeling overworked, underpaid.

2011-12-08T07:01:00.000+08:00

Everyone keeps pointing out to me how lucky i am to be working with a giant company in Malaysia. Just mention where I work, and everyone's eyes lit up - they start to imagine how big the paycheque is, the perks, the travels, etc.

Maybe some people working here do have the luxury of that feeling, but for me, I feel that my pay does not match up to my workload. I believe a lot of people here share the same sentiments too.

It's not that I'm ungrateful of what I have. I remember the feeling when I first joined the Company - it felt like I had been rescued from raging torrent. Fast forward 3 years later, the energy had run out. I used to have a great leader who is concerned about us, and who is fair and sympathetic to our burdens. But my current leader is - to quote my colleague, she's a nice person but as a boss, she sucks.

She is hardly visible from the bottom perspective, unlike the previous boss. She's surreal to our daily operations, and has no idea the suffering and pressure her staff is going through. She leaves office early every day, so has no idea how long her staff has to stay back to ensure that people are happy with the services provided. If she had to stay back, she does not observe - to her people staying back is normal. If she had an ounce of concern, she might go back and think - my staff also have family, why do they have to stay back? Is there too much workload that they can't finish it on time?

I'm not the perfect boss either. I am strict to my staff, I put high expectations and can be very demanding. I rule by emotions too, and I have little patience for silly mistakes and ignorance. But when it comes to personal time, I don't encourage staff to sacrifice their own time for work. I don't do it, so why should I expect they do it?

But to me, the worst thing she does as a boss is giving unequal distribution of workload to her staff. One department is so overworked, and another is so relaxed. You can practically divide the division into two zones - a happy cheerful zone (goes back on time, not much workload blabla), and the quiet, much more subdued zone (overworked, operations get diverted to them as they are the true implementer of service, blabla).

During year end performance review, I tried to highlight that as the lowest grade executive in the Company, I am being tasked to run a department without a direct reporting line to a manager (or put it this way, other departments have their own managers, I don't). Where the tasks of decision making, strategy formulation and policy-making are given to the managers in other departments, I have to carry those responsibilities in my own department. Of course I have my executive job as well to do, and when my staff get stuck with a lot of work, I help out with their daily operations as well.

So you can imagine how exhausting it is to be in my spot - a manager one hour, an executive the next and occasionally a supervisor or a clerk. Eventually it affects my work quality, and gets me so concerned with such working arrangement that I voiced it up. After all, I'm only paid to do one level of job scope - as a junior executive. Why do I have to be tasked with responsibilities that even senior executives don't carry? Senior execs for example, have only one or maybe no staff reporting to them, I have 2 to manage (previously 3).

But of course she did not see it that way. She said my job is created in a flexible way that even junior exec can sit on it. Of course she can say that, because I get things done. What if I just told her to shove it if she asked me to formulate a policy or write the next board paper? (I'm just a junior exec, get someone else to do it!)

Hmm. That reminds me to print my own PD and put it at my work station so I can point out that I'm paid to do only a certain level of task, so she can give it to someone else or do it her own. If one thing I know best - it's delegating. All this while, I've been delegating downward, maybe it's time I delegate upwards.

Rantings of a Mommy

2011-11-28T11:16:00.000+08:00

Okay, I'm going to admit something. I hate BabyTV. But I love it (for Khayla's sake). And I hate it too. Strange, eh? Khayla only stops wriggling and resisting any attempts to feed her when the channel is turned on. She'll go into this zombie mode - glassy eyes absorbing the Hippa Hippa Hey or Oliver the Discoverer or whatever, and her mouth automatically opening without even seeing the spoon reaching her mouth. Then she'll chew chew chew (or if there's a baby song playing, her mouth will stay still full of food, and when the song is over then only she'll start chewing) without even tasting the food.

If I'm in my easy-peasy Mommy mode, I simply can't thank BabyTV enough for keeping my precious occupied while I hurriedly feed her, or zoom around the house getting things done. But most of the time, I prefer that she crawls around, exploring and learning rather than become a tv addict. So, there. The story of my love-hate feeling with BabyTV.

Talking about Khayla, she has been feeling rather unwell for the past few days. It started when I had to travel overnight to KK. I thought it'd be fine - she had started on formula milk a couple of weeks now so no issue of milk supply like last time. In fact, when we were Skype-ing, Khayla did not even bother to look at me frantically waving and calling out her name. She was just busy with the remote control or the tv console (do you know that babies her age are busier than a CEO?).

But that night, Khayla was down with fever and the next day, she was lethargic and slept the whole day at the nursery (according to her Daddy of course). Apparently Khayla is still having problems to detach herself from Mommy. So there goes our long weekend plan. When Khayla is sick, she changes into this overbearing child - who can't be left alone, needs to be cuddled all the time, needs Mommy's breast all the time, and to put it frankly, she becomes a whiny and tearful baby when she's awake.

I love my baby very much nothing in this world will make me want to part from her, but when she's in this mode I wished that daycare is open during weekend so I can get some needed rest. Do you know how stressful is Mommy's occupation, cupcake? Can't you just give me a 5 minutes break?

By the way, if you are wondering how then I get to write down this whole entry, she's currently having a nap (praying it will be for a couple of hours, but she just coughs and whines and stays quiet so probably her Daddy is lying down beside her till she falls asleep again) and I'm a really fast typist, so there. Phew. Oh yes, I haven't had any breakfast because I was busy trying to catch a moment here and there to fix her breakfast, do laundry and fold clothes. Let alone do my assignment or revision for an upcoming quiz next weekend.

Take a deep breath and try to do one thing at a time. Brunch first. Then study (if Khayla is still asleep). Toodles!

Where weekends are my favourite days of the week

2011-11-15T23:13:00.001+08:00

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I had been keeping this too long in the draft mode that I forgot about this entry. Time to get it out for memory's sake ;) World, cherish your family!
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I had had a good weekend these couple of weeks. A good weekend means quality time I spent with both Suami Terchenta and our precious little baby.

To me, no matter how crappy the week had felt like, I must put in efforts to make my little girl happy. Surprisingly it has been easy to put away any ill-feelings I harboured throughout the week and don my 'World's Fun-nest Mommy' mode.

Just seeing the joy and happiness in my baby's eyes made me forget about work and instead concentrated to live in the moment watching my baby grow in front of my very own eyes.

Last week for example we brought Khayla to Snowalk, i-City in Shah Alam for some fun family outing. Khayla being the cold weather fan baby, didn't complain being subjected to minus 0 degrees but it was obvious it was not her cuppa tea either. She hardly smiled, maybe because she found it impossible to reach out to the snow, being wrapped up in multiple layers of clothing:

She was nevertheless fascinated with the lights and I was pretty sure she would grab those lit-up ice carvings if she could free her hands from the thick jackets.

Before we went home, we stopped by Fruitty-tutty for some ice-cream treat. Khayla enjoyed herself in the shop because she got to sit on a grown-up chair:

It was probably the highlight of her trip, much better than the freezing Snowalk or the lights walk we took later.

This week, we didn't go anywhere but we brought her down to the swimming pool for some splashing fun. The last time she went into the pool was when she was 4 or 5 months old. I brought her toy duck and she loved chasing after the duck in the water.

Unfortunately Khayla outgrown her water instinct and she had learnt that water could be nasty. So when I tried to put her on her back so she could float, she wriggled and stiffened her body. She also tried to lift her head up because she hated water going into her ears. There goes her water baby nature...

Today, we brought her for brunch at PappaRich nearby our house. She enjoyed her bun and even shrieked along to Celine Dion belting out her evergreen songs. Khayla could be really boisterous too.

In the evening I brought her to play at the playground. To summarise, she loves the swing and hates everything else. We also brought her to visit Che Mat's family and she loved Kak CT's boys, and vice versa.

Truth is, I wished we could have a lot more weekends like what we had this week. C'est la vie people!

Parenting dilemma

2011-11-14T02:13:00.001+08:00

Dear Internet,

Today I scolded my 10-month old baby. She was playing near the TV and tried to pull out the Astro card. I called her name several times but she was preoccupied in the way a 10-month old usually is. In the end, I said loudly and in a sharp tone, 'HEPP!!'

Khayla was startled. A moment later, she started to wail in fear - she has recognised when Mommy gets angry Mommy's voice will be scary and loud. It's so disheartening to see my little baby has started to fear me. It took her Daddy to pujuk and calm her down.

This was not the first time I showed anger to her. Yesterday when she refused to eat her meal and threw her spoon down, I scolded her. I pretended to hit her food tray, setting her in tears. I put Khayla on the floor and when she crawled to me, I refused to pick her up. She sobbed and then reached out to my hand - as if begging me to forgive her and also make everything fine again for her. I let her cry for half a minute before I took her tiny hand in mine. When I think about the way I punished my baby for being exactly who she is - a baby, I feel terrible and awful.

Not enough with that, I threatened her emotionally by saying bye-bye when she refused to listen to me calling her name. She knows bye-bye means I'm going away, which she hates. So she immediately looked up to me to make sure I wasn't. I knew then even when it seems harmless to trick her, it means for a second her heart was stricken at the thought of Mommy leaving her like Mommy always does in the morning on weekdays.

Dear Khayla,

Mommy wants you to know how deeply sorry I am for being a terrible mother who instead of showing you the right behaviour, punishes you through scoldings and emotional conflicts. I'm sorry baby. You're just a 10-month old baby who is still discovering your surrounding and has little understanding of the concept of rights and wrongs. All you understand is how much Mommy and Daddy love you and anything that contradicts with that knowledge of yours are surely frightening to you.

I love you to bits, my daughter.

Full of regrets Mom,
Me

Vomit blood series#1: Monday blues

2011-10-25T00:43:00.000+08:00

Ever since I came across the phrase 'vomit blood' which was coined by Diyanazman.com (as far as I'm concerned, she created the term because she is always vomitting blood in her posts. I seriously recommend she go for santau treatment, eh Diyana?)

Anyway, I'm starting vomit blood series to vent out my frustration on (what else?) work. This is a discreet way to say that I do not love my job, my line of career right now and I'm merely putting up with people's idiosyncrasies because I need the dough. A couple of weeks ago, I dreamed that I was given poor rating for work (which I took the news calmly) and then the Company offered me separation scheme totalling half a million ringgits! Of course I was over the moon and signed on the offer immediately. Then I woke up and realized that it was just a dream. I still cling to the hope that it will come true one of these days. YES.

Anyway. Today I feel like heaving off today's sh*t of my chest. I almost had a heart attack when the project department informed me that their staff have not received their safety coverall. I mean, wth?? Wasn't the fitting done when I was still on maternity leave? How come my ex-boss didn't mention anything about it?

So I had to dig through emails, called up from the SCM department to the supplier and the staff who was handling this thing previously. I came to a nerve-wrecking conclusion - no one had initiated the PR. Cr*p. Excuse the bad language today.

I remember, albeit not so clearly, that my ex-boss once mentioned that the safety coverall for head office is not under HR budget, but the project dept budget. Which is why I strongly suspected that is the reason why she forwarded the email from the SCM dept requesting for user to create PR, to the project dept for their action. Otherwise, she would ask my Non-Executive to do it. But when I talked to the project dept, they claimed that it's under HR budget and that is why they have been feeding figures to us for budget consolidation purposes. Eh? They were not entirely wrong because I once requested for the info. Was I wrong back then? See, last year during budget preparation time, I was crazy sick with morning sickness that a lot of things were a hazy memory to me. I had no inkling to budget for what item and I felt that my ex-boss did not spend enough time to guide me on budget preparation. Shortly after that, budget consolidation was assigned to someone else which was a relief to me. Except that now I'm crazy confused over whose budget is it and why was the PR not created back in April, dammit??!

I couldn't check with my ex-boss because she's on long leave. I have no one to verify the facts. It's frustrating me! But at the end of the day, I just want to move forward, create that stupid PR and get the whole thing delivered before January. Otherwise, I'm dead meat. Even though it's not my fault per se. The only fault I could point at myself is for making assumptions that just because that email is directed to someone else, I don't have to follow up on it. The thing is, I even found email back in March from SCM that said that target delivery for head office is in April, which meant that the PR has been created kan? Again, I don't know.

Sigh. Frustrated. I've no idea why ex-boss didn't update me on this and why certain things were communicated late to me. I felt that we spent too much time on one of our initiative and I was instructed to attend stupid, not relevant and useless training programmes for the initiative, of which those times were better spent at keeping track of the BAU items. See where it leads me to. Non-compliance. Sigh.

Jenjalan di Sasana Kijang

2011-10-19T00:10:00.001+08:00

Weekend lepas entah kenapa aku tetiba rajin. Rajin pergi kelas (itu terpaksa, sebab kelas ganti!). Rajin basuh baju, memasak, mop lantai, jaga anak, blablabla. Wah, isteri sapa la ni kan? *mata bersinar-sinar penuh bersemangat waja*

Untuk menambahkan tahap kerajinan minggu ni, aku rajin juga mengajak Kak Ret pergi berfoya-foya. Ecey. Takde la berfoya-foya tapi berjalan-jalan je. Ekceli, nak ajak shopping di Sogo sebab nak sambar cadar dan tuala mandi baru sempena kedatangan family aku minggu ni dan juga ada clearance sales.

Tapi alang-alang menyeluk pekasam, Kak Ret terus la mengajak pulak ke Sasana Kijang lepak-lepak di situ. So apa lagi, tak penah lagi jejak kaki ke situ walaupun sebelah dengan UM City Campus tempat menuntut ilmu. Lagipun En Suami Terchenta ada kuiz keesokannya, maka aku pun merasakan beliau perlu bersendirian supaya dapat konsentret belajar untuk kuiz itu. Wasey, bertuah tak En Junaidix dapat isteri cam aku? Hehehe *jeling En Suami Terchenta*

So melepak la kami berempat di Sasana Kijang. Eh, berempat? Siapakah dua orang lagi tu? Aku, Kak Ret dan...

Jeng3x! Tu dia... bakal pengantin yang diimport khas untuk menjaga anak aku, Khayla. Tengok la betapa suker nya Khayla duduk bersandar di pangkuan Uncle Shai yang empuk. AHAHAHAHAHA! Shai, aku gurau je ye. Ko jangan marah pulak. Aku pun spesies empuk gak *nangis ke-sejuta kali terkenangkan zaman anak dara yang fewittt*

Ahem. Aku harap tiada sesiapa yang terluka melihat gambar ni. Saja nak tunjuk pemandangan di belakang je. Dua orang dewasa dan seorang bayi ini tiada sebarang pertalian darah mahupun ikatan ye. Model hiasan gambar semata-mata.

Camtu la suasana di Kafe Sasana Kijang. Best sebab moden. Makanan pun murah. Terbelalak mata sebab spaghetti bolognese cuma RM5.50. Kat KLCC ada??? Jangan harap.

Anyway dah puas mengalas perut, kami pun beransur ke muzium di Tingkat 2. Muzium duit kekdahnya.

Shai tengah usha mesin interaktif tentang sistem pertukaran barter sebelum orang terfikir nak buat mata wang

Cengginilah muzium zaman sekarang. Interaktif. Barulah ada orang nak datang. Tapi sebab Sasana ni baru bukak, jadi tak ramai orang tau pasal muzium ni. Rasa kesian pun ada sebab muzium yang begitu canggih tapi lengang. Tak buat promotion ke?

Aku terkagum-kagum dengan mata wang pitis ni. Cuba imagine bawak duit cenggini ke pasar, mesti ada alasan beli beg oversize nak taruk serumpun duit syiling ni. Setiap kali nak guna, patahkan sekeping syiling bagi kat makcik jual kuih. Dah abis syiling, buang ranting. Cenggitu ye?

Ada penerangan tentang setiap versi duit syiling dari setiap negeri. Rasa bangga pulak sebab duit syiling Sarawak zaman Brooke dulu yang paling banyak variasi - ada yang bentuk segi empat, bulat, bulat ada lubang kat tengah, heksagon dan macam-macam ada!

Masih ingatkan anda masa kita gunakan duit kertas cenggini? Bila letak sebelah-menyebelah, kiteorang sedar yang bukan setakat nilai duit yang makin mengecik, saiz duit kertas pun makin kecik. Dulu duit RM50 25% lebih besar dari duit RM50 sekarang. Mungkin in the future tak pakai duit kertas lagi, tapi pakai virtual currency je? Hmm... Renung-renungkan.

Oh, cenggini rupa duit syiling siri ketiga yang akan diperkenalkan Januari tahun depan. Canggih. I loike! :) Cuma, sebelum bagi duit tukar 20 sen tu, kene double triple check tak terbagi 50 sen sebab saiz dekat2 syiling 20 sen sekarang je. Kan ke dah cakap duit sekarang makin kecik??

Lastly, ni ialah gambar Kak Ret di muzium. Wah, ada gambar korang terpampang di muzium? Tak de kan?Dahsyat ye Kak Ret. Tapi kan, bukan ke yang kat muzium tu cuma ada spesies yang dah pupus, expired dan tinggal kenangan je? Kak Ret, jangan sentaps! Gurau je ye! Hehehehe... *tetau esok jugak Kak Ret datang balik ke Sasana dan cabot semua gambar dia*

Anyway, best jugak sekali-sekala spend weekend gi muzium. Banyak benda baru yang diperolehi. Khayla siap tertido-tido dalam baby sling sebab aircond yang dingin. Hehe. Apapun, thanks Kak Ret sebab belanja makan dan ajak kiteorang ke sini :) A different experience, tapi still tetap fun!

Letter to My Child: Khayla (10 months)

2011-10-15T22:43:00.003+08:00

Dear Khayla,

Today you turned 10 months old. Altogether now - yeaayy!! For that, I bought you this walker as a changing month gift or more due to the fact that you are officially over with your baby-ish walker. You know, the one that you used to spend delightful hours zooming around the house before you can actually stand up on your own. Girl, you need to learn to show some gratitude, OK?

All grin at the newly-bought toy

My dearest daughter,

As you grow up, there are a few life lessons that I want you to remember - lesson #1: when you decide to descend from the bed to the floor, please go down LEGS first. That way you'll have less risk of knocking your head on the cold, tiled floor.

Yes, hang on like that and then go down on your feet

Lesson #2: I'm always with you even though you can't see me. I know you don't believe me. Every time I put you down so I can attend to chores you start to cry. It's not just 'I don't like to be on the floor' cry, it's 'where are you going? Why are you leaving me?? Are you abandoning me? Don't go, I'll miss you!!!' kinda cry. Your little body just froze on the spot but your cry goes an octave higher with each second that I'm leaving you. By the time I was ready to get you (a minute later), there's a puddle of tears, saliva and snot on the floor, and the front of your shirt was drenched wet with all of them. Of course, if I was gone for more than 2 minutes, you will then creep to wherever I was and then grabbed my pants and never let go. Sweetie, it may be endearing to see you so attached to me, but it gets frustrating when I have to do prepare meals or do laundry or maybe just to get your drink. Khayla, for a 10-month old baby, you are certainly a drama queen. A cute drama queen.

See, Mommy always with you Khayla!

Ok, I think I'll just stop at two. See, too many info, it'll be information overload to you. Like for instance, the day I was trying to read a picture book to you. You look dispassionately at the black and white picture of a cat, and then you turned to another page without even hearing the story of the cat. Just looking at the cat is enough. So it is with food to you nowadays. You used to LOVE eating, darling! Now, you ate a few tiny spoonfuls of porridge and then you turned your face away or made irritating noises if I tried to make you finish your meal.

Speaking about irritating noises, this month I learnt that the meaning to the phrase 'like taking candy from a baby' is a hoax. An outright lie! Ask your Daddy who has faced shrieks, screams and tantrums every time he tried to take away the TV remote control from you. It's not easy at all! Just simply handing a substitute is not enough - we need to persuade how the substitute is wayyy better than what you are currently holding. If you are not convinced, then forget it. You are never surrendering anything that we want.

For the past two weeks, your health was a little bit on the off side. It started with a really high fever (reaching 40 degrees Celsius!) and wham! Two days later you had small, red, angry rashes all over your little body:

Sick little baby

You had measles! To make it worse, I was really busy that week, going on outstation but luckily I could bring you with me because Grandma came all the way from Bintulu to babysit you. I know I should be grateful that the nasty contagious measles had you at this small age but still, it pained me to see you so uncomfortable. Despite being sick, you stayed cheerful most of the time I was around because hey, Mommy's around :)

You also grew more teeth this month. Teeth that you found amazing to grind and it made me grimaced each time you did that. Hopefully you'll outgrow that habit of yours, Khayla.

Perhaps at this point you are wondering whether I have anything good to say about you. Of course there is, munchkin! Plenty that I can't list all of them here. But here are some of the stronger ones:

1. You easily warm up to people and once you like somebody, you show affection easily :)

2. You are quick to imitate my actions so it's easy to teach you by demonstrating to you. For example, you can wave bye-bye at 8 months old. But only to someone you really REALLY like.

3. You love my porridge compared to instant cereal. Yeay!

4. You can reach out to the edge of anything and then stand up by pulling your body up. You can cruise as well this month.

5. You love to babble. You love striking up conversations. I'm never bored whenever I'm with you.

6. Each time you snuggle to me, you put your head on my chest adoringly. Aww...

7. You are cute with a capital 'CUTE'. Yes, even when you are losing weight from all those active moves standing up and cruising from furniture to furniture.

8. You don't complain when you eat veggie.

9. You have loads of sense of humor. Today you pushed your bottle off your tray, which Daddy deftly caught and put it back on the tray. You sneaked a quick look at Daddy, and pushed it again and each time Daddy caught the bottle, you squirmed in giggles, which set us giggling too. You repeated this as long as we laugh because you know we find it cute and funny.

10. You love me with all your heart, it shows whenever your eyes lit up at the sight of me, at the big hug you give me and the way you throw your body just to be in my arms.

And I love you too, my sugar and honey-honey.

Love,

Mak

Letter to my child: Khayla (9 months)

2011-09-25T14:04:00.002+08:00

Dear Khayla,

Last week you turned 9 months old. Happy 9 months, sweetheart! I can't believe that you have spent an equal time being outside and inside my womb. How time flies!

Bath time is play time with ducky-duck

If you could asked me a gift for being 9 months old, I'm pretty sure it's going to be a pair of walking feet and free access to the kitchen area. Feet you may have, but at this stage they still disappoint you. You can't use them to run after me or get to a toy faster than on your tummy. And your beloved walker is no longer your favourite transportation. Nuh-uh. They are only for babies. As far as you are concerned, you are very much a grown-up and can exercise every rights under the Malaysian Constitution.

So what you do right now is demand for a lift, either from Daddy or Mommy. We are now officially your legs to go around the house and inspect everything. In return, you flash us your loveliest smile that mostly works on us. Sigh.

Giving us that 1000-watt smile of yours

Because you couldn't walk yet, you are denied access to the kitchen. This frustrated you greatly because when Mom & Dad participated in this activity called cooking, we don't allow you to join in due to safety reason. You'd be on standby at the kitchen entrance in your walker, complaining loudly and sometimes throwing tantrums because you are not able to come into the kitchen.

To pacify you, we often gave you a spoon and a tin to drum on, which worked - for approximately 5 minutes and then you threw the spoon and then dropped the tin out of curiosity, and after that lost interest in them and back to badgering us to allow you into the kitchen.

My baby,

Earlier this month, you celebrated your first of the many more to come Hari Raya. I was more than excited about this. This is our chance to ~~make money~~ show you off to our relatives! Of course most of them had attended your aqiqah ceremony when you were a little baby but back then you were more interested in sleep than being an adorable little person. We were pretty sure that you would turn on your charming nature this time but then, enter separation anxiety at this age.

Only happy in Mommy's or Daddy's arms

Instead of being happy from having been passed from one hand to another, you screwed up your face and leaked fountains. Clearly this nasty separation anxiety would not leave you even during this festive season. Remember that one night when Mom & Dad left you in the loving care of your grandparents? Two hours later, we received several anxious calls from your Grandpa asking when do we plan to go back as you were throwing tantrums and crying till you vomited. Reason? You wanted us and we were missing.

That night, your aunt Udak Intan had to race us back to Grandpa's house coz you wouldn't stop crying for an hour. The moment you saw us arriving, you kicked your legs in relief and almost fell off from Daddy's brother's arms because you missed us THAT much.

Loving your play time

This month also, you delighted me tremendously coz you finally, FINALLY, can call me 'Mak'. You would babble and rant 'Bapak' at any time of the day even when you don't want Daddy, but when it's milk time you turned to me and called 'Mak'. It certainly made my day each time you correctly called me 'Mak'. Muah!

Growth-wise, everyone told me that you looked tall for your age. When it comes to height, you took after Daddy. People always thought you're one year old already. And the same people always get surprised when I said you are still exclusively breastfed. Eh, breastmilk also can give equal if not better nutrition than formula. So way to go, Khayla!

Playing swing like an older child

Last but not least, I'd like to thank you for being the best and sweetest baby in the world. You certainly showed maturity and understanding beyond your age especially when sometimes both Mommy & Daddy are not around because either one of us has to go to class now that our classes have resumed. One day when we graduate, we'll dedicate our success to you, my loveliest child.

Posing in your first baju kurung

Love,
Mommy

Hari Saya (oleh Khayla)

2011-09-11T23:39:00.001+08:00

Pagi tadi saya bangun awal. Saya toleh kanan. Bapak masih tidur. Saya toleh kiri, Mak pon tidur lagi. Tapi saya rasa nak kacau Mak jugak. Lalu saya buat bising di telinga Mak dan tarik rambut sampai beliau bangun dan kata, 'Kenapa Khayla tarik rambut Mak?'

Sebaik saja Mak tengok saya senyum beliau tak jadi marah. Tapi akibatnya saya akan dicium dan digomol sampai saya jerit marah. Mak suka cium pipi saya. Saya rasa perbuatan mak keterlaluan.

Mak bangun dan mandi, jadi saya kacau bapak pulak. Bila Mak dah selesai mandi, Mak mandikan saya pulak. Saya suka mandi dengan Mak sebab Mak bagi saya main dengan itik getah. Mak nyanyi2 sambil mandikan saya. Bapak biasanya nak cepat jadi saya tak boleh main bila mandi.

Hari ni Bapak bagi saya sarapan. Seperti biasa, makan bubur. Kenapa mak dan Bapak tak faham, saya ni dah besar dan tak suka makan bubur? Bubur untuk bayi je. Saya dah 8 bulan, bukan bayi lagi kan?

Jadi saya cuma makan separuh dan lepas tu saya tak pedulikan Bapak lagi. Lepas makan, Mak bermain dengan saya dan kemudian kami tengok tv sama2. Sekarang saya faham kenapa Mak suka pandang kotak bergambar tu. Ada lagu2 menarik dan kartun2 best!

Bila penat, saya baring2 dengan Mak sambil menyusu. Saya suka minum susu Mak sebab lepas tu saya rasa ngantuk lalu tidur.

Bila terjaga, saya tengok Mak dan Bapak sibuk mengemas bilik tidur. Saya tumpang menyibuk je. Oh, rupanya Mak nak alih almari dan katil. Mungkin sebab Mak jatuh kerusi pagi tadi masa tengah cari baju dalam almari. Mak jerit aduh sambil pegang punggung. Siapa suruh Mak tak berhati2?

Hasil kecoh2 Mak dan Bapak bilik tidur kami kelihatan seperti ni:

Bagi saya itu semua tak penting tapi saya tertarik dengan lampu tepi katil. Ia ada potensi untuk dipanjat saya. Tapi Bapak asyik sekat saya dari lampu tu. Bapak memang begitu. Spoilsport.

Petang. Bapak dan mak bawak saya jalan2. Ooo... Saya suka! Mak letak saya di dalam buaian bayi. Suka suka! Suka sampai ketawa mengekek2 bila Mak hayun buaian tinggi2:

Walaupun saya seorang je yang main buai, tapi Mak dan Bapak yang ketawa lebih. Mereka tu memang over. Sila maafkan perangai mereka ya.

Belum puas main buai, bapak dah keluarkan saya sambil kata saya masih bayi dan masih kecil sangat. Lepas tu mereka masukkan saya dalam kereta sorong saya dan berjalan2. Sambil2 tu, mak suapkan bubur nasi ke mulut saya. Saya yang terkagum2 melihat alam sekitar sampai lupa yang saya benci bubur. So ngap dengan berselera.

Kami tiba di kawasan lapang dan Mak bentang tikar. Saya terus mengamuk sebab saya nak jalan2 lagi! Saya taknak makan! Lalu saya mogok dan muntahkan makanan jugak!

Muka mogok taknak makan

Dengan Bapak

Last2 Mak dan Bapak cepat2 berkemas dan saya masuk dalam kereta sorong semula. Yeay!

Mak sempat belikan aiskrim dan dengan baik hati beri saya makan kon. Saya teruja sebab saya dapat makan makanan baru. Yum yum! ~

Oleh sebab hari ni sangat memenatkan so saya nak tidur awal ye. Selamat malam!

Our Kitchen Window Finally Get A Dressing!

2011-09-10T17:00:00.003+08:00

Three weeks ago, while at Perfect Living exhibition, we stopped by a booth promoting window dressing. I was looking for a roller blind for our kitchen and the previous booth selling the such blinds was rather expensive (priced around RM400+).

We were happy to find out that Maxtrack Curtains are selling theirs for a mere RM200, and they don't charge for measuring visit and installation although our house is quite far from their outlet.

Their service is quite fast - within 2 days we received a call that they wanted to come over to measure our kitchen window (which took about 15mins only) and since it was a working day, they were quite happy to come over after office hours.

I also got to choose the blind's pattern to suit my kitchen and I chose white and grey striped pattern that matched our kitchen cabinet. Maxtrack promised to deliver the blind after raya.

Today they came over to install the blind:

The whole process took only 10 minutes and they did such a professional job that we didn't have to clean up after they did their drilling job (although we did cover our dishes with garbage plastic as a precaution).

So this is how our kitchen finally looks like with the window dressing:

Overall we are quite happy with their service and affordable price.

By the way, hope it's not too late to wish everyone Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir dan Batin!

Kisah Jalan-jalan di Perfect Livin' Exhibition

2011-08-25T07:11:00.002+08:00

Pada suatu petang yang indah, kami keluar berjalan2 di Perfect Living Exhibition di PWTC. Tujuan utama kami ialah mencari perabot rumah (dah beli pun, i.e. Sofa purple) tapi dalam usaha gigih kami memusingkan diri di setiap ceruk exhibition, kami telah terjumpa:

Jeng, jeng, jeng! Sila berkenalan dengan Puan Taiyohoshi, haittt! Konichiwa! Pengering pakaian versi low cost!

Ok, sebenarnya adalah tidak berapa low cost, beratus2 la jugak. Tapi still. Daripada membeli sebijik dryer yang harga ribu-raban, ini ialah kategori berpatutan pada kami. Tambahan kami tinggal di apartmen dan tempat menjemur pakaian langsung tak merasa belaian dan sentuhan Sang Matahari, maka ini ialah produk idaman hati saya (cewah, padahal sebelum ni takde langsung dalam shopping list).

Maka dengan berbekalkan sekeping kad ajaib (kad kredit), kami pon membawa pulang sebijik pengering pakaian ni.

Cara-cara penggunaan:
1. Lepas basuh pakaian bayi (basuh tangan ye!) dan spin dry, gantung la di dalam pengering ni:

2. Tutup zip dan set timer:

Dan 3 jam kemudian pakaian akan kering dan berbau segar. Yes!

Dari segi penggunaan elektrik, menurut salesgirl yang bersungguh2 memujuk kami membeli alat ni, kadarnya ialah sangat murah i.e 20sen sejam. Ia ialah lebih efisyen dari hair dryer. Mari kita tengok bil elektrik bulan depan ye puan-puan!

Tapi yang penting saya sangat hepi dan berpuas hati sebab pakaian kami boleh kering cepat dan berbau harum. Tu yang penting, harum! Hehe. Kalau ada sesiapa yang rasa teruja dan mau Puan Taiyohoshi jugak boleh la carik kedai mereka di Ikea.

Selamat menjemur pakaian semua!

Letter to My Child: Khayla (8 months)

2011-08-14T23:41:00.001+08:00

Dear Khayla,

In more or less 12 hours from now, you will turn 8 months old. That is equivalent to the time I gained 15kgs and a terrible mood to match. I was so looking forward to a trip to the delivery room because I got bored with my pregnancy.

Now let's discuss about a few things that happened in our lives over the past one month. Beginning with the appearance of two pearly white teeth that have made our lives so miserable and you leaking fountains of tears with their appearance.

The white pearls that gave us so much misery...

It just so happened that while you were busy sprouting tooth, I was busy with my final exam and those two events did not see eye to eye. Or at least, you don't want to see eye to eye with my exam timetable. You demanded to be picked up, nursed and comforted ALL the time by none other than Mommy. It is as if your favourite person in the house, Daddy is now re-legated to second place when painful and miserable events take place in your world.

Suddenly you changed personality overnight, from a sweet-natured and independent baby to a cranky little monster who clings to Mommy whenever Mommy is in sight. Even when I was studying in the study room, you stood outside the door in your mobile walker, crying the house down for me to come and comfort you (and then offer you my boob to soothe those teething pain).


Happy baby before the teeth came out...

I shall always remember that those teeth were responsible for me getting only a B+. No kidding. I could hardly study in peace as you wrenched my book away because it was in the way between you and the solution to all your misery - my boobs.

Khayla trying to take away my textbook

Teething aside, there is still something good that happened this month as you learned to sit unaided. Sure, the first two or three trials ended up with you falling backward, sideways and fell flat on your face, thus eliciting more tears and wails together with red bumps for a couple of days. But those are the risks that you had to take on your way to achieve independence.

Sitting has somewhat compensated the fact that you have to endure teething, and boy, did you enjoy your play times more now that you have a pair of hands to reach out and examine toys?

Making video call with Grandpa

But I tell you cupcake, the moment you could sit by yourself, I quickly filled up one of the kitchen sink with warm tepid water and plonked you inside. Ah! You have no idea how long I have been waiting to do that, and that was the main reason why I insisted to get a double-sink - to give you a bath in the deep kitchen sink! :P

Happily playing with toys while taking evening bath

A couple of a weeks ago, while Mommy, Aunty Jen and Aunty Aini were swapping stories on you, WJ and little Izz, I was a bit worried that you might be a late bloomer when it comes to crawling. WJ and Izz were crawling / bergolek-golek at such early age - 6 and 7 months old respectively. You however prefer to zoom around in your mobile walker. Any attempts at getting you used to being on your tummy that will later help you to learn to creep / crawl will be met with terrible shrieks and a few dramatic tears of anger. You are already showing the diva side of you at such a young age!

So it was a big surprise to both Mommy and Daddy that you eventually decided to start creeping on 11 August 2011, to be precise at 9pm. Of course, I had to be near you because you hate losing me (clingy, remember?) and I had to lie down so it won't give the impression that I was leaving. So both of us were lying down in front of the TV, you suddenly flipped over and then started to push both your legs and pulling your body to reach for your toys. Daddy and I started to cheer for you and giving you encouragement to reach for your toys.

No more worries. You are developing at the right age and time, and I should respect and even be thankful for that.

Be happy and be safe, baby.

Love always,
Mommy

Letter to My Child: Khayla (7 months)

2011-08-14T21:28:00.001+08:00

Yet another late post from Mommy to Khayla. May you enjoy reading this some day :)

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Dear Khayla,

Happy 7 months old, baby! Oh God, she grows up too fast! How I wish you remain 6 months old for the next two years :p you are so much fun right now little one, that Mommy is reluctant to see you grow up :(

The past one month, you are finally allowed to eat more than just baby cereal. You had mostly puréed fruits, occasional sips of soy milk and Milo (because you grabbed my cup when I was drinking and tried to drink from it too) and orange juice (made from freshly squeezed orange, of course). You learn to love mashed banana and puréed sweet potato, but you hate puréed apple, much to my surprise. After all, there was this phase during my early pregnancy that I could not stomach anything but apple. Apple was the food that sustained me when everything else was thrown up due to my raging pregnancy hormone. That means, apple is very much in your DNA code, baby.

You also found avocado too peculiar for your Asian taste bud, that after only 2 spoons (that came out from your mouth again), you snubbed the puréed avocado totally. Even when I tried to mix them with your cereal, you still hate it. But the baby biscuit! Ye God! To you, that is probably the best thing that ever happened to your life! Something that you can hold in your hands, stuff in your mouth, taste the sweetness and then when you are full, you can make a mess with it. Definitely the best part of the whole biscuit eating experience. Not that we mind that much though. Usually we only doll out the biscuit when we are on a long journey that requires you to be strapped to the car seat. You can get fully preoccupied with your biscuit the whole journey.

This month, you went to Johor for the first time together with Mommy and Mak Yeng. Did I tell you how much you love Mak Yeng? When Mak Yeng arrived from Bintulu to babysit you during my meeting trip, your face shone in sheer delight. You were in VERY cheerful mood throughout Mak Yeng's stay. Perhaps the fact that you don't have to go to the nursery makes you feel that happy. Anyway, I wished we can have Mak Yeng over more often kan, sayang?

Of all the things that I can proudly say that you got it from me is your speech ability. Sure you can't talk yet, let alone argue with me on why your bedtime should be extended to 2am, but ever since turning 7 months, you are a master of noises and babbles - you shriek when you are in a good mood or the opposite and you can babble all day long in gibberish that only you can understand.

Pretending to brush invisible teeth

But the thing that I still could not get over with is amidst those babbles, the first comprehensible word that you utter is 'Bapak' (Daddy). I felt so betrayed, baby! You love Daddy so much that your first ever word should be 'Daddy' instead of 'Mommy'. As if Daddy was the one having vomit party for the first four months of your life and having backache from carrying you for 9 months. Hmm.

Calling out for Daddy

Something that never changed is how much I love you, sweetheart. When you fall asleep in my arms and as I cradle you, I remember the day you came into my life and life is never the same again. I now look forward to every day of my life because you are now a large part of it.

After bath giggles

Love you in every single ways,
Mommy

Letter to My Child: Khayla (6 months)

2011-07-21T22:51:00.002+08:00

Dear Khayla,

Sorry that this took me so long to post. I had been keeping this entry as draft for too long and now you turned seven months already! Sorry, sweetie-pie. Guess last month was pretty hectic for Mommy, what with crazy work schedule and even crazier study and assignment and stuffs. Phew! Plus, there were sad things that happened last month and Mommy felt really down about it. But, nevertheless I owe you this one, baby. So here goes, a late 'letter' to you:

Last month you turned six months old, baby. I'm so proud to say that you have been exclusively breastfed since day one. Now who says breastfed babies are skinny? They should take a look at you.

Baby,

You turning six months old should be a cause for celebration. Plus, June was my birthday too. Mommy turned 29 - it was supposed to be my year. The year I have an adorable little girl in my life, who completes my life, like, totally and awesomely.

But that month, something tragic happened. After barely a month after he got stroke, Tok Ayeng passed away peacefully at Nek Ngah's place. It is sad that you will never get the chance to know your great-grandpa, sweetie. God has decided that it's time for Tok Ayeng to return to Him after 80+ years in this world. What saddens me the most is he left us on my birthday. We were also not there with him when he left us suddenly and unexpectedly. From now, each time I turn a year older I will remember the demise of Tok Ayeng.

Khayla,

Tok Ayeng was the most loving grandfather who cared about his grandchildren very much. Even on his deathbed, when I brought you to see him the sight of you brightened him up. You are his first great-granddaughter, and he remembered that by giving you a gold ring when you were born, as that is Melanau custom. He loved you until the end - God knows that and so do I. Baby, you are lucky to have met Tok Ayeng before he passed away. At least in that sense, I was really grateful that you came along when he was still alive although I wished that you had more time to spend and love your great-grandfather.

In loving memory with Tok Ayeng...

Last month also you learned to move around in your walker. Finally, FINALLY your little feet can reach the floor and you could move yourself forward. Well, not all the time moving forward though. Sometimes you go backward or sideway. When that happened, we call you our little Mr Crab from the cartoon Spongebob Squarepants. Not that you give a hoot coz you don't watch cartoons. In fact, you show zero interest in television because you can't stuff them in your mouth nor can you throw it across the room.

Yes, at this stage you only show a keen interest in anything that your tiny hands can lift and shove in your mouth, or anything that you can throw. What's up with this throwing things by the way? Why couldn't we play with your nice colourful rattle rings without any of them hurled across the room? No, you insist on throwing them to see how far they could go and how often Mommy will get up to get them for you. At 6-month old, this is the game that amuse you and you know I couldn't say no when you turn to me with a beseeching look whenever you throw stuffs on the floor and expecting them to be picked up only to be thrown again. Hmmph.


Ooops... Khayla dropped toy again Mommy... Pweez...

Another thing about you that is oh-so-delightful is what a social creature you are. You simply do not mind other people, and you love showing the charming side of you. No matter who greets you, be it another family member you barely see (like my elder sister, your Wa Liza), or perfect strangers who love asking to carry you because you are irresistible, you always bestow such friendly and 100-gigaWatt grin at them. Ever since you have recognised faces, you are not stingy with smiles and we your parents have always been stopped by strangers who happened to see you smiling at them.

Keep on smiling my baby, my cuppy-cake and pumpkin-pie.

Love,
Mommy

Khayla yang 'Cranky'

2011-07-20T23:08:00.003+08:00

Lately, si budak kecik ni asyik moody memanjang. Dalam erti kata lain, dia cranky.

Pantang kena tinggal sikit dia dah meraung. Pastu mula follow emak dia ke mana-mana kalau dalam walker. Kalau atas tikar je, dia akan menangis penuh emosi macam dalam gambar tu.

Sejak dia cecah umur tujuh bulan ni jugak, dia dah tak nak kawan ngan bapak dia. Asal pass kat bapak or bapak dia layan dia main, dia mesti merengek-rengek sambil depa tangan kat emak nak suruh amik la tu.

Mula-mula aku rasa seronok la jugak. Yalah, mana tak seronok sebelum ni Khayla sikit-sikit geng ngan Bapak. Ngan Mak tak heran sikit pon ok.

Yang paling menyesakkan dada aku ialah masa gi Johor bawak budak kecik ni and Bapak dia tinggal kat KL, dia paling tak lupa ngan Bapak dia. Sampai bangun pagi mula2 carik Bapak. Mulut dia pon sebut2, '...apak.' Mula2 sekali je. Aku tak heran lagi. Tapi bila dah petang dia repeat byk2 kali sampai dia boleh sebut, 'Bapak!'

Oh noooo, Khayla! Kenapa Bapak ialah panggilan pertama yang Khayla sebut? :( Khayla tau tak sapa yang pengsan masa Khayla lahir? Bapak ok! Mak je yang tunggu Khayla dan mula2 cium Khayla lepas lahir ke dunia ni! Whhhyyyyyy???

Back to story si Khayla yang cengeng. So now sejak dia kena inject last Friday, dia dah jadi 'melekat' ngan aku pulak. Tak penah2 ye. Main2 toy sekejap dah nak manja2 ngan Mak, carik dot..dot Mak. Kalau dalam walker, tak lama kemudian merengek2 nak mintak peluk. Pastu 'melekat' lagi.

Si emak a.k.a aku pulak, dah la tak sihat, kena study for exam pulak tu. So memang la tak de banyak masa nak layan perangai anak kesayangan yang tiba2 manja ni. Sudahnya, meraung lagi.

Petang tadi. Saja je amik dia awal dari daycare. Bukan selalu dapat spend time ngan buah hati intan payung dan lapis lazuli aku ni. Mula2 mood dia fine je masa main toys dia.

Lepas bagi makan dan menyusu, aku letak dalam walker supaya aku boleh kemas2 apa yang patut.

5 minit dalam walker, dia dah start meraung. So aku dukung dia sekejap dan letak balik dalam walker. Tapi benda yang sama berlaku.

Last2 aku pon decide nak main trick jahat kat anak sendiri. Aku pegi menyorok. Si Khayla bila sedar Mak dia takde lagi la menggelupur carik Mak dia merata-rata! Dia masuk bilik tido, intai dalam bilik air yang pintu terbuka, masuk bilik study, masuk guest bedroom dan last sekali carik di dapur ( aku sorok belakang pintu). Bila tengok aku takde di dapur, dia nangis makin kuat! Pastu siap intai lagi ruang tamu dari dapur. Last2 dia beredar dengan tangisan yang makin kuat.

Oleh sebab kesian + taknak anak aku trauma tak pasal2, aku pon keluar dari tempat sembunyi dan panggil nama dia. Dengan laju dia menoleh pastu sepantas kilat menerkam kat aku! Macam tak jumpa 10 hari uols! Siap peluk2 leher aku sambil nangis tersedu2. Kesian pulak aku nengok. Hai, Khayla, Khayla....

Apapun, Mak sayang kat Khayla, just Mak taknak Khayla jadi manja terlebih2 ye sayang... Let Mak buat kerja rumah jugak, Khayla main la sorang2 sampai keja Mak habis.

Hmm... Malam ni still manja lebih2 taknak tido kat tilam tapi nak tido kat pangku aku jugak. Sambil 'melekat', apa lagi la kan? That is what Mommy's are for, isn't baby?

Hopefully mood khayla akan bertambah baik esok dan seterusnya. Atau, adakah Khayla sedang menghidap simptom 'separation anxiety' sekarang?

Good nite folks, and sweet dreams from Khayla :)

Love

2011-07-08T14:08:00.003+08:00

I love watching my baby sleeps. Her arms spread apart. Her face as always so serious, yet so adorable...

Sometimes she smiles in her sleep. Once or twice I caught her chuckling. Other times she cries and then I have to shush her, tell her everything is ok.

Khayla has started to snore. Just those gentle snores that are too cute for words. But as her slumber gets deeper, her breathing gets even and she stops snoring.

Khayla is like her father, a peaceful sleeper. And I like watching both of them when they sleep.

Thank You God, for sending me my two angels on earth. I love them both. Muahs!

Dinner at Pasir Putih Seafood Restaurant

2011-07-01T08:17:00.004+08:00

Memandangkan hari ni meeting kat Pasir Gudang, aku amik kesempatan buat plan awal2 angkut Khayla dan Mak ikut sama sebab nak bercuti2 di Singapore. Yalah, alang-alang esok hari Jumaat, aku pon extend la stay kat JB until weekend then masuk ke Singapore.

Habis meeting tengahari tadi, aku balik hotel and tido. Letih betul sebab bertolak dari KL lepas kelas dan sampai di Pasir Gudang pukul 2 pagi. Malam pulak kiteorang jalan-jalan cari makan. Oleh sebab malam sebelumnya semua yang datang meeting bagitau dinner kat Pasir Putih Seafood Restaurant adalah terbaek, aku apa lagi terus la GPS kan restoran tu. Lebih kurang 20 minit la dari hotel kiteorang.

Lokasi restoran ni atas air. Yang best nya kalau ko betul2 nak makan kat atas restoran terapung pon boleh sebab dia ada pelantar yang terapung. Tapi sendiri mau ingatlah kalau berombak jaga-jagalah makanan jangan sampai terbalik :p Kiteorang sampai2 je terus datang orang amik order. Servis cukup baik. Tak delah macam kat KT dulu :p

Untuk dinner malam ni aku order ketam masak masam manis, udang goreng tepung, tomyam seafood, kerang bakar dan sayur kailan ikan masin. Saja je nak merasa makanan seafood di sini sebab review yang melambung-lambung dalam meeting tadi. Walaupun order bebanyak, tapi sekejap je dah sampai:

ABC special :) sedap giler...

Ketam sweet n sour - ketam fresh tak ingat!

Udang goreng tepung yang crunchy

Menu yang diorder kesemuanya

Tengoklah tu aku order makanan dengan tamaknya. HAHAHAHHA! Tapi siyes aku cakap, memang terbaek! Aku paling heart sayur kailan ikan masin dia sebab dia goreng Chinese style. Mantops kau!

Khayla pulak memang cukup sporting. Sebelum makanan sampai, mak beri dia susu dan lepas tu dia duduk dalam car seat dan makan biskut baby dia. Bila dah kenyang dia terlelap. Mak dan nenek dia pon berpeluang la nak enjoy dinner takyah budak kecik tu :) sayang anak mak ni tau!

Walaupun makan dengan banyak tahap dewa tapi masa nak bayar, total bil tak sampai RM100! Nasib baik aku tak pengsan kat situ bila akak tu bagitau semua sekali cuma RM64.50. Cuba ko order benda yang sama kat KL, kompem ko rasa nak angkut pinggan mangkuk balik sekali sebab rasa cam dah masuk dalam bayaran dinner sekali. Hehe.

Lastly jom layan gambar di Pasir Putih Seafood Restaurant:

Posing ngan Khayla berlatar belakangkan pemandangan air :)

Khayla dan mak yeng

Suasana di Pasir Putih Seafood Resaurant yang mendamaikan

So sapa yang duduk di JB, next time leh la belanja kiteorang kat sini kan kan kan??? :p

Dating!

2011-06-28T01:53:00.003+08:00

Hari ni dengan tak semena-mena dapat sms dari group assignment member:

S: Today class cancel. No electricity @ city campus.
Aku: yeayyy!!!

Tengok tu, kemain seronok kan padahal dulu beriya-iya nak sambung study gittew... Ye la, dulu ingatkan lama lagi nak dapat anak tu yang gigih dan semangat waja nak belajar balik. Sekarang life dah jadi super-duper busy sebab kena balance masa antara study, kerja and family! Tu belum personal time lagi.

So back to story. Bila kelas dah kensel mula la mengajak Suami Terchenta gi dating. Almaklum dah lama tak men-dating kan (ceh, ayat apakah ini?). As usual, dating orang dah ada anak ni tambah-tambah lagi orang super-duper busy haruslah kill two pigs with one bird (ini peribahasa zaman Angry Birds, sila abaikan). Dating+beli barang dapur+makan.

Setel je membeli dan membelah, kiteorang singgah makan kat Secret Recipe. Khayla pun dah tertido dalam stroller so apa lagi, mak bapak dia amik kesempatan la makan dengan sedapnya!

Suami Terchenta asalnya nak order menu feveret dia, blackpepper chicken. Tapi wife dia komplen asyik2 order menu yang sama, maka dia pon order la dory amende ntah, ngan lobster sauce? Jap2, meh google nama betul hidangan tu:

Pan-Grilled Dory with Lobster Sauce

Yeahhh... Aku pulak order yang ni:

Mozzarella-topped fish

Air pulak, Suami Terchenta order ice blended green tea and aku order iced chocolate. Memang best sesangat makan malam tu :) i loike! Hee ~

Selesai dinner kiteorang pon balik la. Itupun sebab si Khayla dah merengek-rengek lapar and apa lagi, masa utk melekat dengan emak la.

Passport Untuk Baby Khayla

2011-06-25T18:33:00.001+08:00

Hari ni, dengan semangat berkobar-kobar kiteorang bangun awal demi melaksanakan a few urgent tasks termasuklah membuat passport untuk si budak kecik. Maklumlah next week mak dia akan outstation ke Pasir Gudang, so dah alang-alang turun ke JB tu teringin la nak bawak Khayla dan nenek Khayla ke Universal Studio di Singapore.

Sebelum keluar rumah, haruslah beri si budak kecik makan bubur dan lepas tu makan ubat memandangkan dia demam. Part makan bubur, dia beriya-iya. Part makan ubat, ye memang sah dia anak aku! :p Kalau dia dapat lari, kompem dah lama dia lari dari bapaknya yang bagi ubat tu. Hehe.

Mula-mula singgah di UM beli buku teks mak dia. Exam dah dekat baru terhegeh-hegeh nak beli buku kan? Huhu... Nak buat camane, buku tu baru sampai minggu ni :( dah tiga kali pegi UM baru dapat membeli buku ni. Setel.

Next barulah kiteorang pegi ke Wangsa Maju untuk membuat passport Khayla. Mula-mula kena buat gambar passport dulu. Mujurlah dia dah boleh duduk tegak walaupun mak dia terpaksa pegang badan dia (Khayla belum pandai duduk sendiri). Oleh sebab dia demam, maka dia takde mood nak senyum. Aku dengan Suami Terchenta boleh tergelak tengok hasil sesi penggambaran dan muka Khayla tu macam nak marah orang! Takutlah mak, sayang! Hehe.

Gambar passport pertama Khayla :)

Adik yang tangkap gambar tu siap tolong isikan borang imigresen unuk kiteorang dan fotostat sijil lahir & IC ayah dia. FYI, kalau nk buat passport bayi kena bawak Mykid, sijil lahir dan dua keping gambar passport. Salah seorang parent kena sign borang tu dan also bawak satu salinan IC on A4 paper.

Gambar dah setel. Next kiteorang amik nombor giliran. Yang bagusnya imigresen ada kaunter khas untuk buat passport bayi dan warga emas. Cuma tadi tak tau la kat mana silapnya, aku asyik monitor nombor giliran tapi takde pulak nombor kami dipanggil dan tup-tup, dah nombor seterusnya appear di skrin. So agak lama gak la kami menunggu...

Si Khayla, as usual la akan dapat perhatian orang sebab pipi dia yang gebu tu kan. Tapi tu la, sebab dia demam so dia takde mood nak melayan orang. There's this family yang sangat teruja melayan Khayla sampai bergilir2 la abang dan akak tu amik gambar dengan Khayla yang buat muka derq je tu. Hahaha! Khayla, Khayla... Bila dah besar sikit biar Mak ajar PR skill ye.

Family ni teruja tengok pipi Khayla yang gebu, Khayla rilek je walaupun kesihatan tak begitu memberangsangkan

So bila dah terlepas nombor giliran kami pun dengan gabranya ke kaunter. Nasib baik dieorang berbaik hati proses borang kami dulu. Pegawai yang proses borang Khayla tu terperasan yang alamat dalam sijil lahir Khayla ialah alamat rumah aku di Sarawak. Dia pun tanya, "Parents dua-dua orang Sarawak ke?" So kiteorang pun cakap yes, both dari sana.

"So you nak passport anak you ada huruf A (for Semenanjung) atau K (for Sarawak)? Sebab ni first time nak buat kan? Kalau nak huruf K tu, kena hantar borang ni next Monday dan kita kena hantar ke Imigresen Sarawak untuk pengesahan dieorang, selalunya amik masa 5 hari la." Dia explained. Aku tengok Suami Terchenta, dia tengok aku balik. Kiteorang berdua confused.

"Tapi dia ni lahir kat sini. Boleh ke dia dapat huruf K tu?" En Suami tanya. Pegawai tu terus panggil kawan dia dan story pasal kiteorang. Rupa-rupanya kawan dia tu orang Sarawak gak. Dia pun explain dalam loghat Melayu Sarawak, "Sebenarnya anak korang boleh dapat K tu sebab korang dua-dua orang sana kan, and bila ada huruf K tu, dia dapat la privilage kerakyatan sana. Better kalau buat passport dia tu, ada huruf K. Cuma kita tak boleh proses hari ni, amik masa sikit sebab nak kena disahkan oleh imigresen Sarawak."

Wah, nampaknya si Khayla tak leh la join kiteorang cuti2 Singapore. Tapi apapun, kiteorang happy gak la sebab kiteorang ingatkan bila lahir di sini, Khayla tak dapat keistimewaan sebagai rakyat tempatan di Sarawak. Rupa-rupanya sangkaan kiteorang ni meleset, which is good jugak la :)

Borang imigresen untuk buat passport Khayla...

Ahem. So sekarang kiteorang tengah carik siapa leh tolong jaga Khayla di JB sementara mak bapak dia bersiar2 di Singapore. Sis Lin? Kak Linda? :p

How to Eat A Watermelon - Khayla's Style

2011-06-14T00:43:00.001+08:00

On one hot day, my kay-poh little girl wanted to have a taste of watermelon after watching Mommy & Daddy devoured the cool, watery and yummy red-coloured fruit:

And so, happily she joined in the watermelon fest, serius comel dan rasa nak gigit-gigit budak kecik ni!

Letter to My Child: Khayla (5 months)

2011-05-29T11:47:00.001+08:00

Dear Khayla,

I must warn you, this letter is going to be a bit lengthy. Why? Because somehow, between the age of 4 months to 5 months, you reached terrific milestones that both annoy and amuse me at the same time. Yes, you giggle. And shriek. And then you swim and do other feats that make me want to gobble you up and then spit you out and repeat it again and again and again. Before I knew it, you'd be moving out of the house and graduating with first class honours. Now I'm being melodramatic.

Baby girl, you are now 5 months old. How cool is that? When I thought you could not get any cuter, you proved me totally wrong. You ooze of cuteness that simply melt my heart :)

Let's start on your milestones one by one.

Remember that time when you first burst into laughter in front of me when Daddy shook my nursing cover to fan you? I thought that was the most hilarious thing ever. I was wrong though. It is as if you had just taken Laughter 101 and then moving on to Laughter 201 when you started to have full-bodied giggle each time Daddy made funny faces at you. The strange thing is, you only laughed so hard when Daddy does whatever that makes you laugh. When I tried to copy Daddy, you just smile as if to humour me. Mommy, you are so lame but I'll just smile politely so you will continue to give me that delicious milk of yours. But it's okay, Khayla. Mommy also thinks Daddy is funny when he's not being annoying :p

Laughing away with Grandma

This month you hit the road quite often as you tag along on my business trips and going for holiday. The best thing about you is that you are a very good traveller. You settled down quickly in your car seat and then immediately fell asleep almost throughout the journey. Unlike most babies that don't like to have their routines disturbed, you simply don't mind being up and about, in fact I truly believe you love being on the go. I don't have to worry about you crying or demanding to be picked up while travelling because you prefer to be buckled up in your seat and just enjoying the hum of the car until you doze off.

In front of the Floating Mosque in Kuala Terengganu

It's also worthy to note that in addition to shoving your hands in your mouth, you discover that you can grab stuffs and those too, should be shoved into your mouth. It is a MUST for you to taste everything that you could lay your hands on. If you can't grab it, you'll bring your head forward to it. For example, the dining table. Or the couch. Or Mommy's hand. And oh yeah, your feet.

Have I mentioned that this month you discovered your feet that resemble your hands, only so much further to reach your mouth? Nonetheless, you never fail to try and are always so determined to catch them so you could taste them too. The first time you discovered your feet was when you got impatient with me while getting you dressed up after bath. You were so annoyed that you bended in two and hey, presto! Feet! Life gets a gazillion times better after that. Sometimes I help to hold your feet while you devour them, just for fun and because you enjoy sucking your toes. Even in your sleep you will occasionally reach for your feet to check whether they are still attached to you. Indeed, you are getting more fond of your feet these days.

A couple of weeks ago, when Grandma and Uncle Ehsan were around, I decided that it was about time to introduce you to the swimming pool. You were not so keen at first. But that did not stop Mommy from taking you slowly and all the time, talking through the whole process and without you realising it, you were in the pool already, floating away. Yes, Khayla. You learned to swim at such tender age :) From there onwards, we bought you your first swimsuit and swim diaper and weekends now are more interesting and enjoyable because we can bring you swimming on hot days.

Posing in your swimsuit

Something really big also happened this month. It started a couple of weeks ago actually. I noticed that you get all excited and salivating A LOT each time we sat down for our meals. Then you started to grab at food and tried to shove them in your mouth. Whenever Grandma and Mommy were drinking out of our mugs, you reached out and pulled the mug to your mouth. AND YOU WERE HUNGRY ALL THE TIME.

So we decided that it's time to give your first solid meal, which is baby cereal mixed with breast milk when you turned 5 months old. I know we are a month early, but hey, when you are hungry, you are hungry, ok?

Khayla loves cereal in the morning

You should see our faces when we feed you baby cereal for the first time. Daddy carried you in his arms while I held the cereal and bring the feeding spoon to your mouth. I think we were more excited than you about the whole thing. You were not so good at eating at first - I figured that more than half of your first meal ended up on your bib. But you were delighted over the whole experience anyway. We all do, despite the mess afterwards.

Where did the food go?

It doesn't end here. Yesterday, you rolled over by yourself! Yeay! The look on your face showed that you were stunned at finding yourself flipped over. Daddy was so excited that he immediately posted it in his Facebook status. I guess if I had not tried to make you get used to being on your own, you would have learn to do this at a later age.

Let's talk about that attitude of yours, little girl. Whenever you were surrounded by many people, mostly my relatives, you tend to get spoiled because you are everyone's first niece / granddaughter. You took that chance to demand to be lifted up ALL THE TIME. The thing is, when we are alone, you continue to expect us to carry you around. If we don't you would scrunch up your face and fake a cry. I know it's fake because the moment you were lifted up, you will smile in delight. Hey, it works!

You also use this trick when you are at the daycare because I get complaints from your nanny that you like to be carried instead of playing by yourself. Which is why I have started to try to teach you to be more independent by leaving you on your rubber mat while I do housework. You still cry though, sometimes you cry louder when I continue to ignore you. Eventually I notice that you will cry after quite some time as opposed to immediately each time you were put on the mat. I'm hoping that along the way, you will realise that Mommy will only pick you up when it's play time or when Mommy's done with house chores.

My little pumpkin and cutey-pie,

Sometimes it's hard to accept that you are growing up too fast. Before I knew it, you'd be a toddler, and then a child, and a rebellious teenager before you finally leave us to start your own life. In the mean time, I will cherish every seconds that I could spare with you. The best moment for me is when we cuddle up together, your fingers wrapped around mine and your head snuggled comfortably in the crook of my arm while you enjoy being breastfed. I want these moments to last for as long as possible - because there will come a time when you no longer wish to be hugged and cuddled.

Khayla, you are the best thing that happens to our lives, and we love you lots and lots. Happy five months, baby :)

Love,
Mak