What struck me was the amazing relationships that you make with people in hospital. In the six bed bay I made good friends with others. None of us had the same illness but somehow we all had a common bond.  A bond that saw us all stripped bare of almost everything you see about us in the outside world. Almost nothing is a secret when you are in such close proximity to others 24 hours a day. Sharing the daily highs and lows of our illnesses, what the doctors had to say on their visits to which was our favourite item from the food menu.

There was also an enormous sadness we all shared the burden of dealing with a serious illness. In our own and real worlds it is easy to say that we all felt fine. Together it was great to be able to continue conversations long into the night how our lives really were. In between treatments enjoying coffee in my pyjamas sitting in Queen Square feeling as though I had escaped for an hour from the ward with another patient, is one of the highlights of my visit. Time to talk one to one in the beautiful autumn sunshine with squirrels rushing around and both of us getting strange looks in our PJ’s and a central line hanging out of my neck.

We laughed so much together, cried together. We swapped magazines and texted each other when we were supposed to be resting.

Whilst none of us had chosen to be in hospital our time together helped us make it special. A moment in time, that will never happen again but will be treasured forever.

 Just getting up some mornings has felt a real effort. Thinking of washing my hair or worrying about getting dressed has been far from my mind. I am not worried if I don’t clean my teeth it just doesn’t seem important some days.

During the dark days as they seem to me I wonder if I will ever get well again. I try and focus on not worrying about what will happen about tomorrow; will I feel well again tomorrow. Instead I have found it more helpful to think about the moment I am in. In my heart I know the tough times will pass.

Last Friday I suddenly felt able to do so much more. It is tempting to rush around and do everything that hasn’t been done for so long. But I know there will be a price to pay. I will overtire too easily and could be back at square one.

I have had to make some tough decisions about how much work I can take on. It seemed a tough decision before I had the courage to jump and finally make the decision. It feels now a complete weight has been lifted off me. It feels as though in my head I had all sorts of ‘untidy cupboards or piles of paper’ to go through. That is just a metaphor for how I was feeling. Now the cloud has lifted and I can just concentrate on living today the very best I can.

Feeling well again means I can see the colours on the flowers and trees and hear the birds sing. I am not thinking about my next trip to hospital in 2 months. Thinking that far ahead won’t serve any useful purpose today.

I didn’t choose to get sick. But I so much stronger mentally and feel that I will always be able to handle any obstacles that come my way. It’s not that I didn’t do that before; it just feels as though I have learnt more about myself in a way that I can use in such a positive way.

If you are having a tough time how can you think differently about your situation?

Lilach Bullock is Managing Director of Network Waves. If you would like to learn more about Lilach please see her website www.networkwaves.com

Social Media for Business

How your company will adjust and respond to social media is the most important question of all. Moving forward, businesses that embrace the waves of social media will gain competitive advantage. To sail to success you must stay abreast of the swift changes, differentiate and embrace
the risks, continually developing your online tactics as internet marketing evolves.

The businesses that sit back quietly waiting to follow the pack, will do exactly that; follow the pack.
If you want to make your business known in cyber world, you’ve got to be a leader, or at least try to be. Make your mark before someone else does.

Due to the emergence of our ‘social world’, brands now succeed based upon the experiences that they provide online. These experiences are no longer created for people, but alongside them; with them. And if the experiences are not managed effectively, brands can be either damaged or
strengthened in the waves of social media.

Get clued up, do your research, understand what is happening out there and why. Stay up to date with the trends and become tech-savvy. Simply put, if you can’t utilise social media tools, employ someone who can. Don’t get left behind, or your business will suffer.

Social media isn’t just an idea to brighten up your marketing strategy, or to try something new and innovative. In order to use marketing effectively, you must fully understand and work with your consumer. This is life today; this is how your consumer communicates, gathers information, creates
relationships and expresses their opinions. To be a modern marketer, you must enter and emerge yourself in this world.

Don’t be web-anxious, it doesn’t take long to grasp. In fact, it is exciting. You can begin to engage with your consumers in ways previously unheard of before. Soon you will be able to monitor, respond to, and play a part in social media experiences that massively impact your brand value.

With first-rate internet marketing and clever social media your brand can become a global phenomenon. Understand the tools, use them effectively and be smart. Be a leader and get the success you deserve.

On New Year’s Eve 2007, she was horrified to learn that not only did she have breast cancer, but that it was a particularly aggressive form. Of course, Sara was very angry at first. She thought, Why me? It would have been better if I hadn’t gone for a mammogram. She was also very scared. She said, When someone says, You have cancer, you immediately think you’re going to die. I have to wait six weeks before my surgery and I have no idea how I will stay sane until then. What on earth am I going to do?”

After a few very bleak days, Sara decided she was determined not to give in too easily. Her mother had, after all, fought the disease, so she, too, could do the same. When she was calm enough to answer her question What on earth am I going to do? several answers came to her, as she was walking her dog. Find out as much as possible about breast cancer. Talk to other people who have faced similar situations. Be realistic about what she could change and what she needed to accept. When Sara opened her eyes and started to believe that she had choices, she was amazed at the different ideas that popped into her head.

She discovered practical ways to prepare her body and mind prior to her mastectomy and reconstructive surgery. She was able to make a number of choices in her life, including exercise, changing her diet and learning how to chill out with meditation. By the time Sara went into hospital in February, her frame of mind had shifted from a very negative one to that of how she could take control of her life. She said, I can’t stop the cancer running through my body but I can change how I deal with it. It’s taking over my body but it doesn’t have to take over my mind. I can control how I deal with it.

Sara is certain that her excessive workload, poor nutrition and lack of exercise had taken a toll on her body and were contributing factors to her state of health. She sees her illness as a new chapter in her life rather than the end of it. As well as conventional medicine, Sara has also discovered the power of laughter. “It is impossible to laugh and feel stressed at the same time. I think laughing brings about release.” If you are feeling stressed you might not feel like laughing. But laughter really is the best medicine. As Sara pointed out, it is difficult to laugh and feel anxious at the same time! Try it!

How do you feel when you have a really good laugh? As soon as you start to laugh, the power of the stress is lessened. I have recently been very involved in setting up a charity, Clowns in the Sky, which supports children suffering from brain tumours. Children with tumours spend many weeks in hospital undergoing painful treatment and we have found that bringing some fun into their lives makes a huge difference to their well-being. If they can laugh, so can you! My favourite films are The Full Monty, Bridget Jones and Hitch. Why? Because they make me laugh! This Christmas we tried out a really funny game. Try saying “purple sprouting broccoli” with your lips over your teeth; it is almost impossible to do. You will laugh with frustration that no one can understand you and others will laugh at you because you look and sound so silly. Don’t worry, everyone including you will be laughing! Is everything perfect for Sara? Of course not.

Her initial surgery was successful although she was diagnosed with breast cancer again a few months ago. The fear that the cancer might return again has always been the hardest thing for her to deal with and it is something she thinks about every day. But she feels much more in control of certain aspects of her life. She is trying to focus on what she can change, just a day at a time. She still finds the visits to hospital very stressful, but she doesn’t allow herself to dwell on negative aspects of her illness for too long as she has found it very counterproductive. Sara didn’t have any choice about having breast cancer. She did have choices, however, about how she chose to deal with life each day.

You may not be able to influence and overcome every stressful situation, but you can take charge over how you respond. If you are facing a major change and finding life very stressful, what changes can you make to how you view the situation today? If you want to manage stress in your life, you need to begin with yourself. None of us are able to predict the future, but we can make the present better if we choose to. What makes you laugh? Do you have a favourite video, a story, a joke or a friend who helps you to lighten up? Focus on what you can change and you will start to feel more in control of your life.