Casual Friday Every Day

Hold Me Tenderly

Admin — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 04:41:01 +0000

This week has been a little unnerving.

I've started my antibiotic treatment for the Lyme disease that has been playing house in my body for so long.

It aint easy.

When killing off this bacteria you often experience a worsening of your symptoms before you get better. It's from the bacteria that is being killed and the toxins it's leaving behind.

As you can possibly imagine that isn't fun or easy and, at times, has even become scary.

But I hang on for the ride.

At least now I experience much needed hope.

I now know why the pain and fatigue have been so present in my body for so long, and how to begin getting rid of it all, getting back to me once again.

I took a picture of the corn field next door.

I edited it to my eyes delight.

It brought me some pleasure, I hope it does the same for you.

I thank God for giving me an appreciative eye for His beauty. Not only does it draw me closer to Him, but it also fills my being with much pleasure…much, much.

{how could i not look at nature and think of Him and thank Him for it every single day?}

Today I spent far too much time in front of the television taking it easy.

Really, I must admit, I wasn't as much taking it easy as I was doing my best to make it through the symptoms that slammed my body after the antibiotic this morning.

That tiny white pill packs a powerful punch.

We watched a lot of the Billy the Exterminator marathon on A&E today.

The boys were intrigued by the wild animals and why the Billy Man was saving everything except the wasps.

I walked past my two older boys room tonight and caught a glimpse of them in the same bed, watching tonight's new episode of Billy the Exterminator.

Made my cheeks hurt from grinning.

And then, I joined them.

Sweet ending to another day.

Another day closer to my full recovery.

Another day further away from the hell of not knowing what, why, when, how, if…

Tonight.

Tonight I rest in the Lord's arms, for I need His comforting embrace.

That warm, sweet, tender embrace I've come to know and need and love so much.

A love so tender… an embrace equally so.

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{b}hap{e}

Admin — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 01:20:04 +0000

a girl and her boys

a boy and his silly expressions

another boy jumping behind the camera for his turn

a girl looking at life through the lens

getting behind the lens when the mood calls for it

happy…

sleeping{beauty}

Admin — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 23:39:12 +0000

sleeping beauty makes me smile, makes me laugh, makes me smile again.

he's a dash{ing} little boy, who laughs at his Mama, runs to her when he needs a snuggle, and loves to annoy his brothers already.

special since the day he was conceived, he made his personality known even while growing inside my womb, such a gentle and lovely soul.

he is the baby, and knows it.

spoiled? maybe, a little.

loved immensely? yes.

he is the baby, though i think he'd be a wonderful big brother to a baby sister.

{a mother can dream}

watching him drift to sleep, whether in my bed or in his own, is still one of my most favorite parts of motherhood.

i love him deeply.

{real} beauty: Silver

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{___}is…

Admin — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 18:42:49 +0000

A cute little silver elephant necklace.

A baby {with a really rad name}, playing around with Daddy's hat.

Playing 'hide the thimble' with my boys, with the thimbles that me, my brother and my Granny played with as life time ago.

Making silly faces with my children.

Old family photo's.

My three children playing nicely together, looking at a 'buggie' on the window.

{Happiness} is so simple.

What does your uncomplicated happy look like?

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A Moment Like This

Admin — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 16:48:52 +0000

Moments float by, easily missed in the mayhem of each day.

The noise and the pulling and tugging of daily tasks keep one's mind busy and unfocused.

So many moments are left to move on without me, leaving me sitting on the sidelines with fatigue.

but in their place are the moments that might never have seemed that important before…

might never have been special or picture worthy.

Now, those moments fill my heart with a joy not defined by words.

Appreciating each day I have with them.

Truly appreciating.

Like Nick and Zane climbing the ladder their Daddy is using to put in a new ceiling fan…. making their "mean" faces while I snap the picture that will live on long past that moment in time.

And walking into the kitchen, where Zane plays nosily with his lego's, finding him in his Daddy's hat on backwards.I stopped, looking at how grown up he has become. How did he get so grown up so fast?

While laying down on the couch, catching a much needed moment to rest I look over at my "baby", who doesn't look a whole lot like a baby anymore, I over hear him talking on the phone to "Daddy". He looks at the phone, smiles wide and shows me those big beautiful teeth that fill his mouth so perfectly, and squeals. I sigh, sucking in the joy that is floating through my home, and appreciate each moment I have with my beautiful children.

I'm not the mom I once was. I'm not capable of taking long hikes, chasing them through the yard or going to the zoo on a hot summers day…

I miss that mom and I know they do too.

But no matter what my body is telling me, my heart will always find a way to appreciate and live fully (whatever that looks like at the time) in this moment.

This moment where my children are children.

Their moment.

I'm so grateful to be living in this moment with them.

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i wait while it continues

Admin — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 21:20:10 +0000

in pain.

much pain today.

the lyme is getting worse.

i'm counting down the days until my LLMD appointment next month.

next month.

too long.

i'm lucky to have gotten in that soon.

i can't sleep now. or nap. i'm lucky to get 5 hours. not helping my symptoms, either.

right now my feet, toes, hands, fingers, ankles, wrists are burning and hurting worse than before. my skin is burning, i have a full hot feeling in my head, my joints are popping (even my hips) as i walk, i'm struggling to type as i'm missing letters or typing the wrong ones. i'm waddling as though i were pregnant because of the pain in my feet and hips.

it all comes and goes.

some days are really bad, others not so bad.

my body has been taken hostage by this baceria.

i want it back.

need it back.

will get it back.

the waiting, while the disease progresses, is the scary part.

august 17th couldn't get here any faster, if it tried.

i long for the days when i'm healthy again so i can put what i've learned through this to paper, or to canvas, or something.

even with everything i've gone through in recent years, i know i'll learn the most about myself and life through this experience.

i will make something good come from this.

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blog post: the get to know me edition

Admin — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 02:09:28 +0000

I'm reading through the Bible, currently am in Exodus.
I always root for the underdog.
I'm not afraid to voice my opinion.
I'm a wee bit sarcastic and silly.
I like people but am a loner at heart.
I've had a crush on Leo DiCaprio since, like, forever. (and yes i call him that and yes i will see his new movie, inception)
My husband and I eloped to Branson, Missouri almost 8 years ago.
I daydream a lot.
I'm really good at Family Feud.
Nature makes me so happy. It centers me, makes me calm and reminds me of the greatness of God.
I miss the natural "high" of walking, running and hiking. I can't wait until I beat Lyme disease so I can do these things again.
I watch the Golden Girls every night from 11pm to midnight.
Falling asleep with the fan running is the only way I can catch some zzz's.
I heart snail mail! I love sending it and receiving it. Cards, presents, pictures… all of it!
Looking through really old black and white photo's of my family stirs my imagination.
Favorite Movies: fried green tomatoes, now and then, steel magnolias, driving ms daisy, the notebook, wizard of oz and white christmas.
I have a major love/hate relationship with my nose.
Watching my children sleep makes me happy.
I like being constantly stimulated…. rocking in our chair, chewing gum, playing with my hair…
I only get baby fever when my 18 month old lets me cradle him like a newborn in the crook of my arm and rock him.
Desperately I wish I had a baby girl but have come to the realization that most likely we won't have more children…I haven't closed the door on that option completely but currently don't see another child added to the family.
I always say please and thank you, yes sir and no ma'am.
I speak with a slight southern drawl. Not all my words, but occasionally it comes out and I have no idea where it comes from. My oldest son is the same way.
I am keeping a dream journal where I jot down the previous nights dreams. I am a vivid dreamer and usually remember them the next morning.
I'm compassionate, caring and concerned about people and their well being but do guard my heart. I wouldn't say I have walls up anymore but I do have a small fence.

((26. i updated my about page. it was getting old, dusty and stale.))

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