The Birth of the Virgin Mary – Esteban Murillo (Louvre, Paris)

Today we celebrate the birth of Mary, the mother of God. This perfect fruit from the trunk of Jesse through the branch of David became the living tabernacle, the living ark of the new covenant. Through her our salvation was born into the world. And as Christ our Lord hung on the Cross, he gave her to all of us and all of us to her to be mother of us all.

So, remember your mother Mary’s birthday today and say a prayer. Ask her to pray for you. She will. Remember too that Christ listens to his mother. How blessed we are to have her. Thank God most high for the wonders he has done in and through and because of her and that most glorious fiat.

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Pope John Paul II greets children who received holy communion in the Holy Family Church in Zakopane, Poland on June 7, 1997. (AP Photo / Massimo Sambucetti)

As summer winds down, most of us can reflect and express gratitude to the Lord for the extra time we have spent with our families, on vacation and around the home. All of us recognize the importance of family. I am fairly certain all of us wish civil institutions would do more to recognize its importance.

Surprisingly (at least for some) the United Nations did just that towards the end of the last millennium. The UN proclaimed 1994 as the International Year of the Family. The Vatican followed suit and Pope John Paul II issued a lengthy, energetic Letter to Families: Gratissimam Sane.

We will be looking at various aspects of this letter over the next few weeks. But let’s begin at the, er, beginning!

The Pope opens with words both affectionate and personal:

The celebration of the Year of the Family gives me a welcome opportunity to knock at the door of your home, eager to greet you with deep affection and to spend time with you.

A true father!!

His letter continues, noting that there are many paths that men must walk in their pilgrimages on earth but clearly

the family is the first and the most important

He delves into the genealogy of the person as the foundation of the family, responsible motherhood and fatherhood, the common good of the family, the meaning of the fourth commandment, the reasons for familial and marital breakdown, and more.

Examining the marital covenant (para. 7), the Pope laments that today

emphasis tends to be laid on how much the family…owes to the personal contribution of a man and a woman.

This, he points out, is incorrect, in as much as the family is a community of persons living together in communion.

[Community] arises whenever there comes into being the conjugal covenant of marriage, which opens the spouses to a lasting communion of love and of life, and it is brought to completion in a full and specific way with the procreation of children: the “communion” of spouses gives rise to the “community” of the family.

I love the language the Holy Father uses here. But there is more: we are presented with a task and a challenge.

The task involves the spouses in living out their original covenant. The children born to them – and here is the challenge – should consolidate that covenant, enriching and deepening the conjugal communion of the father and mother. When this does not occur, we need to ask if the selfishness which lurks even in the love of man and woman as a result of the human inclination to evil is not stronger than this love.

The desire to remain an individual in a marriage is the roadblock to communion and to community, without which there is no authentic family. How, then, do we complete the task and conquer the challenge? With God:

From the outset [husband and wife] need to have their hearts and thoughts turned towards the God “from whom every family is named”

For us husbands and fathers, I see allocation of time – how we spend those moments with our spouses and our families – as one of the biggest challenges.

Your thoughts?

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Or what king marching into battle would not first sit down
and decide whether with ten thousand troops
he can successfully oppose another king
advancing upon him with twenty thousand troops?
But if not, while he is still far away,
he will send a delegation to ask for peace terms. – LUKE 14:31-32

This past Sunday we heard in the Gospel that a smart King will evaluate what is to come. I know that I am taking this verse a little out of context but it is the example of a very important lesson for many of us fathers… I don’t think that I am giving it an unfair rendering.

evaluating our challenge

As fathers we are often going to be faced with battles or challenges that we want to race into with our sword waving and our courage blocking out any possibility of defeat. There is a time for this… but it isn’t for every battle. We need to know when God wants us to take our fear and pocket it away and trust in him, regardless of the odds. Most of the time though, he wants us to prayerfully evaluate what we are up against. He gave us reason and common sense and intends for us to use them.

It is important to evaluate our battles, because we have limited resources. It isn’t about only winning, it is making sure that we care for our “army.” Battles take tolls on families, parishes, friends, and others. We don’t want to tax and tire those around us because we are needlessly marching them into battle.

the battles worth fighting

It is hard to evaluate battles, it is hard to evaluate where and when we should expend our efforts and our resources. The best way to do this is prayerfully, that is obvious. But how do we know when to fight and when to offer a peace offering? More often than not we are told: “Seek peace, be charitable, don’t cause chaos to prove a point.” Often this advice is sound, but it isn’t always the case. Unfortunately, men have been emasculated even within Catholic ranks. Since the 1960′s and 70′s men have been downgraded within the Church in an effort to prop up women. By downgraded, what I mean is that their roles have been reduced or shifted, the underlying philosophy relating to the proper mentality of men has changed, and we have even seen the neutering of language within the readings from the bible. This effort to elevate women to the same level of men, has in turn pulled men down from certain places that they were uniquely different than women, but for the sake of equality they were downgraded in these areas as well.

So, we as men have to be willing to accept that there will be battles. Next we have to be willing to accept that there will be battles that we have to enter with 10,000 troops while facing 20,000 enemies. This is when we have to pocket the fear and trust God.

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I am not worried that most men will enter battle too often…I am worried that they wont enter it often enough. I am worried they will allow their children to be taught by unknown teachers, unknown things. I am worried that men will allow parishes to support anti-Catholic teaching, emasculate men, and indoctrinate their children in socialist ideas in an effort to teach social justice.

The best rule to live by is that our children are worth fighting for. The safety and care of their souls are worth fighting for. Any time that they are implicated we should be ready to go to battle, and pay the ultimate sacrifice. We must not flee in fear of wolves, or the notion that we should be “kind, gentle, and compassionate.” Let us realize what the Gospel of Luke doesn’t say: it doesn’t say that just because you are outnumbered 2:1, that you should retreat. Instead, it says, if you are outnumbered 2:1, evaluate…

…when the evaluation is done, and the battle is still worth fighting. Don’t look back in fear, look to God for strength and courage. Trust in the Lord.

I command you: be firm and steadfast! Do not fear nor be dismayed, for the LORD, your God, is with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9

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With this in mind, I cherish every minute that I spend with him these days and try not to yell at him for every little flaw. Instead of ordering him around, I give him a hand with his chores and I ask him to ride with me so that we can have a conversation. That way, I get to understand what led him to punch his 7 year old sister the night before.

I am also spending my retirement savings on his schooling as I enrolled him in Catholic school this year. I figured, how can I enjoy my retirement if my son turns out to be a bum. He is just in middle school but I think it’s time to take him out of public schools. It’s the environment. Even if I opt out of having him take sex-ed, everyone else will be talking about how they did it. As a former educator, I am well aware of the tremendous impact of peers on kids his age.

Some people say that he’ll be exposed to that anyway even in Catholic schools. Even if that is true, the exposure is limited. It won’t be the culture but rather a deviation; in public school, it is the atmosphere. A speaker in my wife’s convention this year shared how he got lost in a public school restroom and found kids huddled together watching others engage in oral sex.

Some think that I am being snobbish and elitist but putting my kid there. They don’t have a clue that it is about faith not elegance or prestige. Still others consider that purity is overrated. They say just teach my kids about protected sex so they don’t get pregnant or masturbation is natural and is really no big deal. I guess they can only speak of what they know. Talking to them about purity, innocence and chastity is like casting pearls to hogs.

To St. John Bosco who produced almost a hundred canonized saints over the past 100 years, purity is everything. A chaste mind, heart and body is a practical submission of oneself to God, a faith lived out and the beginning of the love of God. The world and the tempter dismiss these as little things because, that is how people fall – little by little.

I have 5 kids. Catholic middle school is 6 grand a year and high school is 13 grand. We’ll take it one day at time. The Lord’s prayer says, “Give us our daily bread…”. Even if I never retire in this life, I’ll just rest in heaven. St. John Bosco used to say that.

Though I know I can’t shelter them all their lives, but I sure will do everything I can when I have the chance. At the end, I will have no regrets because, I would have done everything I can. Also, if I do that, then God will never be outdone in fidelity and generosity.

(painting by Norman Rockwell)

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The Sacramental Nature of Work

While we recognize seven sacraments (efficacious signs instituted by Christ to confer grace), life is replete with activities and events that possess a  sacramental nature. Through these everyday life activities, God transforms us with His grace. Not only does God work through these events to make us holy, but we participate in them and become sacramental signs as well. Work is one of those activities that bears a sacramental nature. When we work, we are signs that point to God the Father who created the world and rested on the seventh day; and we are signs that point to Jesus Christ who asks all disciples to pick up their crosses and follow Him. Through our work, and a receptive disposition, the Holy Spirit transforms us and conforms us to Christ.

A Father’s Labor

Work is one of the first commands God gave to man.  In Genesis 1:28 God commands humanity to “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it….”  For a man, the command is to be a father, and in following this command we imitate God the Father who is creator of the world. Through our sharing in creation and our ongoing work God continues to create the world while transforming us, if we are open to the gifts he bestows.

The fruit of our labor that is most important to a father is often completely overlooked in the secular world.  It is not so much the object of our work that is of greatest importance, but what the work allows.  Labor enables a father together with a mother, to create a safe place for a family to grow and thrive.  Father and mother each have their role in creation of this family space, and neither role can go unfulfilled without damaging this space.  One role that falls to most fathers is providing the primary means that make this space possible.  Through the sweat of our brow we create the most precious fruit of our labor, a sacred space for our families to grow. This activity is sacramental in all its parts, both in sign and in grace.  God is revealed in this, and He pours His blessing on it.

A Father’s Cross

This call to imitate God the Father is also a cross.  Just as Christ, bore His salvific Cross in obedience to the Father, so too our call to fatherhood and work is a cross.  In addition to joy we find in work, it is also difficult, perilous, and can be rather unpleasant – due in no small part to our fallen natures.  Our work lives are fraught with anxiety and temptation to despair. Unemployment or its prospect can be particularly difficult. If not for Christ’s gift of Himself, this suffering would be overwhelming.  But if we join our daily suffering to Christ’s, we transform our labor into something far greater.  Through our cooperation with grace, our suffering takes on meaning and we participate in our salvation and even in that of others through Christ. God allows us to share not only in His creative work, but in his redemptive work.

Pray For Fathers

Let us remember beyond this day the sacramental nature of work, and let us pray that God uses work to transform us and our neighbors. Let us give thanks for Catholic fathers, the work that they have and continue to accomplish, and the blessings that it affords.  Let us pray for those who are seeking work, particularly fathers, that they may be blessed abundantly.  And let us pray, that all, working or not, tie their effort to Christ’s cross, transforming it into something so much greater.

St. Joseph, pray for us.

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Ant, who is 19 and at University, said that having good Catholic friends had been particularly important. We were lucky (or blessed, to be more accurate) when she and Bernie were younger to meet some other Catholic families whose eldest children were a bit older than ours, and whose youngest were about the same ages as ours.

Two of them in particular have been, and continue to be, excellent role models for Ant and Bernie. As we talked about this, the kids were quick to amplify Ant’s idea. “Not just nutty ones,” said one of them (I can’t remember who). It’s true that we have met a few eccentric families and that’s fine – I value people who are different from the surrounding culture, particularly when that difference is inspired by Faith. But from the kids’ perspective, the ones who have been their role models have been the girls who have managed to be robustly Catholic, but also fit in to a certain extent, with the rest of society.

Bernie (17) said one of the things that had been important to her was going on pilgrimages. In particular, they have all been on the legendary Pentecost Pilgrimage from Paris to Chartres (Ant and Bernie several times). This is a grueling walk, covering more than thirty miles on each of the first two days, with Mass in the French countryside, sleeping in huge communal tents, and ending with a triumphant march into Chartres and High Mass in the magnificent 13th century Cathedral. The sight of thousands of young people fervent about their Faith, praying the rosary, singing Marian hymns, having their confessions heard, kneeling in the mud for the consecration at Mass; all this has a huge impact, and despite (or perhaps because of) the physical hardships involved, all the kids are always desperate to go back next year.

And there have been other retreats too, also important. Some have been organised by the little group of Catholic families we found, so have felt like holidays with extended family, but with a proper spiritual input.

Charlie’s idea was simply ‘Make it Fun!’ He then started to laugh as though he was joking, but the others all piled in and agreed how important that was; and qualified it: “Not in a contrived way, like those Catholic board games and stuff some of the families have.” In fact their discussion of this very much reflected my last post, and the two ideas his bigger sisters had.

Dominique said how important it was to meet lots of other Catholics who actually take their Faith seriously, particularly young ones like themselves. That’s why pilgrimages and retreats and family days were all so important.

So the themes that came through, at least as I discerned them, were about fun and community – not being the only people who see the world this way. I have always brought them up to look critically at social and cultural norms, as a way of helping them to resist peer pressure and going along with the crowd. But clearly, it has been very important to all of them to realise that we are not alone in standing aside from contemporary culture. And in particular to find that the other people we come across who do so are interesting, vibrant, and fun-loving – as well as devout and virtuous.

So here’s your challenge for this week: what can you do either to strengthen your friendship with a family who will be a good influence on your kids, or to befriend a family with kids younger than yours, so that yours can be a good influence on them?

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This is the latest book by Dr. Kevin Vost that I have read. With each of the previous I felt that I have came to know the author by his self-revelation in and through his writings. In this latest book it is even far more so. For Dr. Vost takes us with him through a journey of philosophy and through the humanities that once lead him away from God and the Church but then became tools that helped him to return to the church.

The Sections in the book Are:

Foreword: God Bless the Atheists
Introduction: Neither Bird, nor Plane, but Superman!

PART I: GOD IS DEAD?
1. Friedrich Nietzsche’s Superman
2. The Lord and Lord Bertrand Russell
3. Albert Ellis: Reason, Emotion, Psychotherapy, and Jehovah
4. Aristotle Shrugged: Ayn Rand and the Intellectual Soul
5. Darwin and Dawkins: Genes, Memes, and “Me’s”

PART II: SIGNS OF LIFE
6. Alfred Adler and the Fictive Goal of God
7. Stoic Strivings: The Slave, The Lawyer, The Emperor, and God
8. Mortimer Adler and the God of the Philosophers

PART III: CHRIST HAS RISEN FROM HIS TOMB!
9. St. Thomas Aquinas: The Angelic Doctor Effects a Cure
10. C. S Lewis: God Save the Queen
11. G. K. Chesterton: What Could Be Right With the World
12. Pope John Paul II: Faith and Reason, Body and Soul

Conclusion: The Real Super Man
Afterword: An Ode to the Real Super Man

Vost takes us on a whirlwind tour through those topics, helping us to experience his own spiritual journey; some of it mirroring our own or people we know. Then by using him as an example, we can develop the tools to argue and refute the claims of the secular humanist, and those we know who have slid away from the church and its teachings. This was not an easy book to read; philosophy is not my strong suit. But Vost presents it in such a way that almost any layman can approach the topics with confidence and faith in their interpretation. The book is well written and easily engages the reader. The personal nature of the writing makes topics that would normally be inaccessible to some readers much more accessible. It is very well written. Thank you Dr. Vost for another great tool to help us in our spiritual development. His other books also help to strengthen us in either Body, Mind or Spirit.

Books by Dr. Kevin Vost:
From Atheism to Catholicism
Unearthing Your Ten Talents
Fit For Eternal Life
Memorize the Faith!
Full Range of Motive

You can find more book reviews by Steven at Book Reviews and More.

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Many people try to fill that gap with things of this world. They pursue power, money, and personal gratification. They are concerned with status and the respect of others. Imagine digging a hole, a gap, in the ground. Now imagine filling that “gap” with water. You can probably fill it up, but it won’t stay filled. Eventually the water will seep into the ground, and you will be left with the need to fill it again. Filling the gap in your life with things of the world is like trying to fill the gap in the ground with water. You can fill your life up with money, power, status, and personal gratification, but eventually the satisfaction you feel from those things will fade. It will seep into the soil and you will be left wanting once again.

Now imagine filling that hole in the ground with concrete. That concrete will not seep into the ground, but it will form a hard, firm, solid foundation. Filling the gap in the ground with concrete is like filling your life with faith in Christ. The more your fill you life with faith, the harder the foundation will become. You will never be left wanting if you fill your life with Christ.

The pursuit of filling the gap in our lives is the pursuit of faith. Many of us don’t see that day to day. I know I try to fill the gap in my life with things of this world. We all need something in our lives to remind us that the gap in our lives needs to be filled with faith, not the things of this world. That is where fasting comes in. I know, I know. We’re no where near Lent. So, why am I talking about fasting? Because fasting is a good practice year round, not just during Lent.

We fast because we want to remind ourselves of the gap in our lives. We intentionally create physical a gap in our lives so that we can remember to fill the spiritual gap. We should fast year round, not just during Lent. It is a necessary component of our faith journey. I’m not saying you should stop eating for a whole day. If you can do that, then great! But your fast does not have to be that dramatic. It just needs to be enough to remind you that you need to fill a gap in your life.

My wife and I like to spend time on the computer. She enjoys playing on Facebook and reading blogs of other homeschool moms. I enjoy playing games. We had let that computer time take over our lives. Last Saturday we made a promise to each other. We promised that neither one of us would play on the computer when we were both home for an entire week. We decided to fast from the computer. This self-sacrifice has allowed us to fill a gap in our marriage. We spent more time talking to each other this week. We spent more time just enjoying each other’s company. I haven’t talked to her about it yet, but I would like to make this “computer fast” a permanent thing in our house.

Taking the time and energy to fast is an important component of our Catholic faith. It is not meant to be reserved for Lent alone. We need to fill the gap in our lives with faith in Christ. We need to fast to remind ourselves of that gap.

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Anyone I’ve ever heard talk about Matthew 6:19-21 has always made the obvious point about the falsity and temporal nature of the accumulation of things in contrast to making our life about gathering up those things which have an eternal nature and everlasting consequences. Indeed, this is a good point to make – Jesus made it.

I find myself considering not only how I, how we, store up material goods, physical things but about how we gather in and hold to worldly ideology, relativistic, populist concepts and constructs that are at best temporal and at worst antithetical to God’s ways and Word.

Read the complete article on the blog.

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Content Changes

At the end of July and beginning of August we made two changes. First, we instituted an editorial process to more effectively publish articles (e.g., spacing time of publishing, editorial help). Second, we launched a series of featured columns that have been quite successful. These were just the beginning.

Look for new content features ahead. These will include an “Ask A Catholic Dads” section, with theologically sound responses from informed Catholic Dads. We will also incorporate a section that highlights content of interest to Catholic Dads from other sources online. We are seeking to provide a more active review and recommendation section. Other ideas are also in the works.

Visual Changes (including the new logo)

The current modifications are more visual. These changes also started in August with greater incorporation of images into posts. This has evolved into creating a more visually engaging site.  The current design provides room on the front page for more information and features (coming soon). Do look for changes in the sidebars in the weeks to come.

Part of the visual change was a new logo – the shield at the top of the page. This shield was designed with symbols representing fatherhood, marriage and Catholicism. It is a shield, which signifies a father’s duty to defend both his family and his faith. It is blue, because that is the color of our Blessed Mother. The CD are the Catholic Dads initials. The keys in the upper right represent the Pope, and demonstrate our Catholic loyalty. The two rings in the lower left represent marriage. The fleur de lis (a lily) is here a symbol of St. Joseph, foster father to Jesus and spouse to Mary. Finally, the Sacred Heart is at the center of the shield, just as Christ must be at the center of our lives.

We Need Your Help

We are a completely organic group.  We are an all volunteer squad. There is no major funding (I do provide a minuscule amount hosting and legally buying images). We do this because we love our faith and our families and are compelled to share that with the world. To do that we need your support. No, not in money, but perhaps in time and certainly in prayers.  Here is how you can help.

1. If you are a member of Catholic Dads, please continue to post articles on Catholic Dads – while building up your own site, it also contributes to our efforts to provide an authentic and organic voice for Catholic Dads.
2. If you know someone who would be interested (and qualified) to write a regular column on issues of marriage, theology of the body, or finance – let me know (robk@catholicdadsonline.org). We are looking to expand the regular columns by one or two more authors.
3. We are looking for reviews and recommendations (books, movies, sites, etc.) for Catholic Dads.  If you have a review, please submit it.  If you are interested, or know someone who may be interested in a larger role coordinating reviews, please let me know.
4. Actively support us; first, by prayer and then by getting the word out. Friend us in Facebook, re-tweet the posts that you like, share a link to Catholic Dads on your site. We see this as a growing apostolate and appreciate the support.

If you have any other comments or suggestions, please send them to me (robk@catholicdadsonline.org).  We have not thought of all that could be done, and we are eager to hear your ideas.

Thanks for being part of the Catholic Dads community.  May God bless you, this endeavor, those who help create it,  and all who are touched by it.

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