Catnabbit!

Top 16 Signs of an Overweight Cat

Gumbie — Sun, 21 Oct 2007 22:32:52 +0000

16. Your cat door is retro-fitted with a garage door opener. 15. Confused guests constantly mistake you for a beanbag chair. 14. You always land on your spleen. 13. There have been fewer calls to the fire department, but there has also been a sudden upsurge in broken tree branches. 12. You have had a [...]

Mailroom: Licking the air when scratched at the base of the tail

Gumbie — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 02:56:41 +0000

I have 2 cats whom love to be loved. Recently while petting both (at different times, of course; both like to be the center of my attention)near the base of their tail, I noticed they put their nose into the air, while rapidly licking at nothing, then starting to nibble on anything that is within [...]

Slacker Cats – New TV Show

Gaston — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 23:18:46 +0000

It’s been a long time since we’ve had a new TV show to watch that features a cat or cats as the main star. Although the felines are portrayed by human voice actors, Slacker Cats aims to emulate the life of cats in a humorous, yet accurate way. We at Catnabbit got a [...]

Help Me, Jesus Cat! – Feeding the Masses

Callas, Psychic Cat — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 17:45:28 +0000

For thousands of years, humans have clung to the belief of a superhuman who had the ability to conquer death and turn water into wine. Felines have long-held that their savior, too, would come. In recent startling events, many cats have considered that the Jesus Cat has indeed come. On Wednesday this week, the [...]

Britney Spears Uses Designer Clothing In Place Of Kitty Litter

Gaston — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 00:51:57 +0000

Just days ago, Britney Spears was caught using an expensive Zac Posen dress to mop up the feces of her newest little dog, while she was on the set at OK! Magazine. During the event she was also observed performing other strange behaviors such as scratching and rubbing on her perhaps-itchy genitals and urinating [...]

Mailroom: Reader alerts us to inaccuracy

Gumbie — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 06:15:34 +0000

clearly you madeup that hole story for your sight and it is compleate and utter B.S that so called picture of a swat member is a picture of my friend who plays airsoft (a shhoting sport with replica firearms, not dangerous) who was dressed up as well as his brother in a replica swat uniform! and were mearly making a [...]

Cat Changes Legal Name to Sound of Can Opener

Hazel — Thu, 03 May 2007 16:25:13 +0000

NEW YORK – A 2-year-old mixed Domestic Shorthair – Russian Blue cat has officially changed her legal name to the sound of a can opener. The cat formerly known as Weeza, pictured above with her pet human, chose to change her name because she feels that the name suits her better. “They [...]

The Top 16 Signs Your Cat has a Personality Disorder

Gumbie — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 18:48:35 +0000

16. Couldn’t muster up sufficient disdain if all nine lives depended on it! 15. You’ve repeatedly found him in the closed garage, hunched over the wheel of your running Buick. 14. Sits for hours in fascination while listening to Bob Dole. 13. Teeth and claw marks all over your now-empty bottles of Prozac. 12. No longer licks paws clean, [...]

Floonces the Drunk Driving Cat Busted for DUI

Hazel — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 15:34:49 +0000

MICHIGAN – Toonces has long enchanted the hearts of television viewers after his appearances on Saturday Night Live starring as Toonces, the Driving Cat, but little did anyone know that his evil twin sister, Floonces, really does have a drinking problem. Late Sunday evening, Floonces was arrested on charges of Drunk Driving and Public [...]

The Feline Bill of Rights

Gaston — Fri, 23 Mar 2007 13:47:16 +0000

The Feline’s Bill of Rights (Of the Cat’s Constitution) Just like humans, cats are part of the family and have the following rights: 1. The right to be full members of your family. They thrive on social interaction, praise, and love. 2. The right to stimulation. They need new games, new toys, new experiences, and new smells to be happy. 3. The [...]

Menu Foods Pet Food Recall

Hazel — Sat, 17 Mar 2007 15:53:47 +0000

Beloved Brothers and Sisters in Paws, Although we at Catnabbit try to bring you the lighter side of news, we have found that it would be very important to share this with you. There is currently a pet food recall that could affect you. Please check your cans of food to make sure that they were [...]

Top 10 Signs A Cat is Planning to Kill You

Gumbie — Sat, 17 Mar 2007 10:19:01 +0000

16. Seems mighty chummy with the dog all of a sudden. 15. Unexplained calls to F. Lee Bailey’s 900 number on your bill. 14. He actually does have your tongue. 13. You find a stash of “Feline of Fortune” magazines behind the couch. 12. Cyanide pawprints all over the house. 11. You wake up to find a bird’s head in your bed. 10. As the wind blows over [...]

2007 Top 100 Worst Cat Names Ever

Subbes — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 20:50:15 +0000

Welcome to the 2007 Top 100 Worst Cat Names list. This is a list of reported names that real cats have encountered and these names really do suck. If you are an expectant mothercat trying to think of names for your new kitten(s), be sure to avoid anything on this list! Swimmer Ducttape Chewtoy [...]

Cat Writes Ban to Stop Snoring

Hazel — Mon, 05 Mar 2007 17:29:24 +0000

Although uncommon in cats, snoring does occur from time to time in short-nosed breeds and it isn’t anything to worry about. That is, unless the cat is trying to prowl around at night. It’s terribly hard to sneak up on your prey if they hear the rattle of your “nasally repetitive” nose, from [...]

E-volution: Cat Vaccine Against Internet Virus and Worms

Hazel — Sat, 03 Mar 2007 05:04:20 +0000

Cats of the Internet are tired of drama, spyware, spam, and a number of other terrors that an online presence can bring. However, today Darwin Laboratories has announced the E-volution Cat Vaccine, a new product that can cure many online ills. E-volution Cat Vaccine: Prevents worms, contagious through vigorous online activity. Treats and controls spyware that might crawl [...]

Real Questions Roundup #1

Subbes — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 07:58:47 +0000

Over the last year and a half, we have received countless questions from cats just like yourself and we have tried to answer them all. Unfortunately, we haven’t been able to get around to some of them because we either didn’t know the answer or we were too busy chasing a moth that managed [...]

Mailroom: How Much Do Cats Contribute to Global Warming?

Hazel — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 19:10:48 +0000

(Above: Video of farting and pooping cat) Dear Catnabbit, I’ve heard that Global Warming is a serious problem. How much do we as cats contribute to Global Warming? Sincerely, Andromeda (Zanesville, OH) Hi Andromeda, It’s true that Global Warming is occurring – the ice caps are melting and the oceans are rising. It’s getting a little easier to cozy [...]

Cat Pay the Devil: A Book to Dig Your Claws Into

Gaston — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 01:18:48 +0000

Catnabbit gives Cat Pay the Devil by Shirley Rousseau Murphy 2 paws up! It’s true that the cats who can read, talk, and write blogs on the Internet are a select few. Fewer still are the cats who go the extra mile and fight crime with their human-esque talents. If you are tired of humans stealing [...]

Winky the Safety Cat

Hazel — Thu, 22 Feb 2007 17:40:04 +0000

Winky the Safety Cat was one of the first cats with frickin’ laserbeams. He rode in the backs of peoples’ cars and signaled when the car signaled. However, the flashing red eyes must have caused several wrecks and murdered several people, because the original Winky family is no longer in business. Now, cats who live [...]

Practice Makes Purr-fect: Piano Playing Pussycat

Catnabbit! Purr-sonals — Thu, 22 Feb 2007 16:55:06 +0000

Greetings! I am Nora, a gray marble tabby who has purr-fected playing the piano. Few cats are able to master the tonal contrast and beauty that the 1812 Catnip Overture has to offer. I am looking for an agent rather than a partner. I have dreams of becoming a concert pianist, [...]