cats and cake

it wasn't the jury it was the justice system.

noreply@blogger.com (Ali B) — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 15:15:00 +0000

surely he deserves more than one?

I mean I believe it was an accident but how she got only five days jail time? what in the goddamn manslaughter hell???!

NO WEBERNETS

noreply@blogger.com (Ali B) — Mon, 16 May 2011 19:32:00 +0000

The place that I work is the same place that I live and when the boss is on we are not allowed internet access. soooooo that means no blogging. He is on for four months. See you in October.

do you sea what i sea?

noreply@blogger.com (Ali B) — Sat, 26 Mar 2011 21:21:00 +0000

Finally on the ocean again. The maiden voyage for this vessel in fact! When the weather sorts itself the fuck out I will happily jot down the legit reasons why I've been so busy and un-posty as of late. As well as the not so legit reasons, like discovering pubs and grub and making friends in Germany! At the moment the yacht ( a brand new 60 m A & R - hint hint to the busy) is just turning the corner coming out of the Bay of Biscay, which is on the west side of France and over the top of Spain (named Biscay after the Basque region in Spain). We then straight line down the coast of Portugal and in a couple days will hit Gibraltar to bunker (refuel). The Bay of Biscay is notoriously bumpy at sea so I can't complain feel like we are pretty lucky. That being said though, here is a vid looking out my porthole in my cabin today in the "lovely" weather. Yeah we're lucky. No fuck that. I am lucky that I never get sea sick!

Happy birthday Spock.

noreply@blogger.com (Ali B) — Sat, 26 Mar 2011 20:45:00 +0000

Cannot believe Leonard Nimoy is 80!

ummmmmm.... alright then Germany

noreply@blogger.com (Ali B) — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 08:59:00 +0000

CARTOON BLOW UP DOLL FACE. SERIOUSLY
it's a drawing.yes it is

HIGH-LIGHT KIT FOR BLOW-UP DOLLS?

THE FUCK?

Really, there I was looking for some dark brown (to cover the ginger again!) and this is what I see. Who would actually buy this? Lars?

Ici et La

noreply@blogger.com (Ali B) — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 12:38:00 +0000

Not abandoning blog at all. Have been in North Germany for about a week now on a 60m vessel that has not yet been launched and am flat out with work. When things regulate I will be posting again.. At the moment not even enough time to scratch my ass. Choo-oooos!

Ha! It has to be my hangover...

noreply@blogger.com (Ali B) — Sun, 13 Feb 2011 14:10:00 +0000

That is some funny shit
(and if it's not, it's because my hangover is in charge of humour today)

As was pointed out, he beat the shit out of it.

Lady Gaga's new single "Born This Way"

noreply@blogger.com (Ali B) — Sun, 13 Feb 2011 12:35:00 +0000

Express Yourself. You're doing it wrong

true confessions

noreply@blogger.com (Ali B) — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 05:18:00 +0000

THIS IS MY WORK

THE FRENCH RIVIERA...

IS MY PLAYGROUND

BUT THIS IS MY DREAM!

Nothing wrong with living here but I am a country girl at heart. I see chickens and donkeys in my future. Someday....*sigh*

Elmo has a dad??

noreply@blogger.com (Ali B) — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 18:16:00 +0000

I didn't know that. It's been about 30 years since I regularly watched Sesame Street but it's been getting a lot of airtime at my sister's house in France for baby Dexter (we have to download it) but imagine our surprise to find out he has a dad.

But you know what we think????

maybe a dye job too..

It's Telly with a wig

my lack of posting is directly related to the weather.

noreply@blogger.com (Ali B) — Sat, 05 Feb 2011 13:24:00 +0000

I've been in a slump but am emerging. watch this space.

35? Is this what happens?

noreply@blogger.com (Ali B) — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 08:42:00 +0000

It just occurred to me that I have not been able to post since my birthday last week. I mean I actually feel as if I've nothing to say when really most of my posts don't have a purpose anyway. Maybe it has something to do with staying at my sisters? . I need a job, maybe that's it. I don't know what it is but it's something. Maybe it's the cold weather & having a cold? Hmmm...

no i am still not pregnant. it was the virus.

noreply@blogger.com (Ali B) — Fri, 26 Nov 2010 10:13:00 +0000

and just for the record i don't want to be pregnant.

so here is the picture of myself and crazybaby. as you can see, and as i did see, i do look pregnant. Truth be told i gained a lot of weight on my last boat and i just thought it was that. I also thought "fuck vanity, this is an amazing photo of two friends playing together. who cares if i look fat". Anyway what the severe bloating was (under the rolls i mean) was the onset of the virus attacking me. The one I got from cow? The one that turned into a bacterial blood infection? Yeah that one. I ignored the first stages of the virus because I thought it was gas. You know the really painful kind that feels like a knife? And vanity aside for this photo , it was still in check when I was rushed by ambulance to the hospital and was thinking to myself "oh my god i am going to emergency for farts". Anyway, it's all better now. And my hospital room was the best ever. I didn't want to leave. But I did, they discharged me into the night with raging floods and only my passports,a lighter and the pyjamas I'd been wearing for days. i am happy i had the lighter. oh and the meds. they saved my ass

my loves

noreply@blogger.com (Ali B) — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 21:53:00 +0000

true confessions

noreply@blogger.com (Ali B) — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 19:10:00 +0000

i really really very badly want rhinoplasty. and i'm pretty sure that will be my next big expenditure. and it's not just to straighten out the kinks from the breaks

splish splash

noreply@blogger.com (Ali B) — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 15:43:00 +0000

the best part of the day was always going to be bath time. even though cutting 500kg of cane by hand (and 1 small scythe) was shed loads of fun it is all about the shower at the end of the day. they el's love love love their water. the mahouts love telling their el's to dunk us under the water. i took a lot of video for this but all you can hear is laughing and i'm shaking so much from laughing you can't see much. anyway, here are some pics

THE TWINS! learning how to swim but mostly just rolling around

snorkel

she was asked to do this. face down ass up dunk

My friend Nini, Pong and Vanda

Shower time

a crazy love affair with crazybaby (one word)

noreply@blogger.com (Ali B) — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 13:17:00 +0000

attempt to climb over the fence. more play time on this side

I didn't mean for it to happen. I already had my favourites, the twins. but no. slowly and surely crazybaby, not so subtley charmed his way into my frozen heart. I would walk past his house at lunch every day and with each step saying to myself "do not look, make no eye contact. show no emotion!" and then I would see it. this small bundle of grey goodness trundling over to the fence with dust puffing up with every step. reaching out to play. SO FREAKING CUTE. yes elephant babies are cute, all of them and they have the most mischevious personalities. But this baby is crazy. It's play play play, trunk around the neck, arm in the mouth, blowing air in my face, hair pulling etc

I blow in his trunk and he blows back. ridiculously cute.

it was a mutual love and i've heard mothers say before - the time went by so quickly, i wish that he wouldn't grow up in a way. anyway, i will try to attach a video to this later but it was nearly impossible to get one of crazybaby because he is so crazy. super frisky at all times. i love him and i miss him.

more crazybaby after the jump

Standard procedure for trying to get arm in mouth

Nini and Crazybaby

Foot vac

Apple and Crazybaby

it's in the ears

noreply@blogger.com (Ali B) — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 06:00:00 +0000

Crazybaby 5 months old. My obsession!

As elephants age the upper part of their ears start to curl down. As evidenced in the following pics. I tried to remotely write the age of the el's on the phot's but it was very small (ha because I was still in Thailand?) so have written underneath in caption instead.

Vanda 12 years old

Noi age 47 years

Old guy, don't know his name AGE 70 years!
Check the wrinks on his shoulder/legs

No fucking way

noreply@blogger.com (Ali B) — Tue, 09 Nov 2010 12:59:00 +0000

finally landed in a place that despite the torrential rain, has electricity and an ok wifi connection. But guess what ? Laptop didn't survive the flood. I am at the 9 DAY FASTING retreat. My mom suggested I dry it out with rice and I'm like what rice? There is no food here. nobody eating around these parts. can i dry it out with a colema board? oh well. still happy. pretty hungry though. this fasting is not boding well with my emotional eating.

Bragging rights revoked

noreply@blogger.com (Ali B) — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 05:49:00 +0000

Sorry about lack of posts. I was going to brag about how I only got 2 mosquito bites the whole time i hve been here but I ended up in emergency ward for 3 days having contracted a virus from cows (fucking cows!). It infected my blood and attacked my bones and muscles. the whole time i was in hospital a typhoon raged outside. I was oblivious to all but when I was discharged at night, in the dark, that was when I found out the place i was staying, and most everywhere, had water up to the waist. Most of the island is flooded and the devastation is unbelievable. I am trying to get off the island now but the planes and ferries are halted. I walked in the street where the water was a "good" level, shin height, and it literally tore my shoes apart and off my feet. electricity is intermittent and internet - well this is the first time in a week and i've walked miles to get to it. that's the latest. I'm not licking my wounds, it's great to be part of such an adventure. Just want the damn cow disease (what does that mean? is it mad cow? fitting...)to go. x

Volunteer project in elephant village Thailand. Mahout mania

noreply@blogger.com (Ali B) — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 16:20:00 +0000

Sawadee-kah, my name is Noi.

So the village is called elephant village not because they made it for elephants but because there are about 500 homes and over 300 elephants. They are everywhere! It's like coffee shops in Canada or karaoke bars in japan. You cannot imagine. The ellies live underneath the homes of the mahouts. Mahouts are there carers, 1 mahout to 1 elephant. They live sleep breath their elephants. Kind of like babies they need 24 hr care, over 500kg food a day. Plus bath's and scratching time. Each elephant has a different way of letting you up. Some lift their leg for you to climb. Some sit down, some you stand on their trunk and climb over. Our role as volunteers was to assist the mahouts with their daily activities and immerse ourselves in their lifestyle. There is a lot of work to do with just one elephant and it's not the kind of job where you can call in a sick day. The 500 kg of cane they eat? Well you chop that by hand, with a scythe, a few times a day. Shovelling shit? Kind of like mucking a stall for a horse only this stall is the size of a small house. Shower and bath time is also important. We are assigned to one elephant for the duration of our stay and with the elephant comes the Mahout. My mahouts name was Yan and my Elephants name was Noi.

me knees, Noi's head taking me to the pond.

Noi is quite the curvy gal. Rounder than most.

WE ARE BOTH SMILING!!!

Yan and Noi

I have loads of pics. Can anyone tell me how to make a separate page of photo gallery? with the link at the top of the homepage?

shower time

true confessions

noreply@blogger.com (Ali B) — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 14:27:00 +0000

I am scared of cows. Thought it was just Irish cows but it seems to be an international issue. Side-eye and I am running into an electric fence. That's me done. Show me horns and I could probably cry.

It's all white on the night

noreply@blogger.com (Ali B) — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 14:22:00 +0000

I'm a natural

So as much as us Westerners obsess about getting that perfect bronzed tan, the Thai’s obsess with getting that perfect luminescent white skin (tradeja?). The first thing I noticed in the first 7-11 (the first of thousands I might add) I was in, were the rows of face cream and wash for both men and women with “whitening” agent. I even took a picture. This coming from a girl (me) who although I am far from girly I still have bronzer, summer glow body cream and other things to make me more brown. The irony isn’t lost on me. If that’s not the pot calling the kettle bronze I don’t know what is. Oh I am also told by people, Thai people , that Thais are obsessed with skinny-ness. But don’t they know that everyone looks slimmer with a tan??

I have nothing to say about this. I still look pregnant.
My two signature looks seem to be pregnant or man. lucky me.

One Night In Bangkok

noreply@blogger.com (Ali B) — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 14:02:00 +0000

So I have arrived in Bangkok. I travelled with Emirates for the first time and though I had previously heard great reviews, for me it was hell – H E double hockey sticks. I have never felt so cramped into a space. Like a cat box. Fuck. My knees touched the seat in front and there was a box under the chair in front so where the heck was I supposed to put my legs? I am a pretty average 5’9” but the geezer next to me was at least 6’ and it was like an unusual game of twister at some points. Luckily he was about one hundred so we developed a knee share/stretch leg out routine – as you do. Oh it was also about minus twenty degrees so we all had blankets on and were using the plastic wrap as scarves – as you do? Had quite the layover in Dubai. What did I learn in Dubai? I am probably not suited for Vegas. I felt like I just came off the farm. Flashing lights, loads of people, money money money! Not my cup of tea.

First view from first stay in Thailand

So I arrived in Bangkok, no mystery there. But there was a mysterious factor. 12 years ago I spent a fair bit of time in Japan., enough to pick up the basics of the language and like many skills, if not kept in practice it tends to fade away. This past summer in fact the only words I could recall were iikura dessu-ka, which means “how much?” Quelle surprise right? So touch down Bngkok and what do you know the ENTIRE Japanese vocabulary comes back. Explain that one please? Even weirder, when I met the other girl on this volunteer trip she had the same experience. By “same” I mean she also lived in Japan 12 years ago, forgot everything, it all came back. We also both have huge feet. My ride back from the airport was with a guy from the volunteer group who didn’t speak a lick of English but his little girl’s mother is Japanese and there we were, chatting away, in Nihongo. The little girls name? Shalala. And it only gets better from there…

First awesome meal with volunteer coordinators. Bottom right dish my new favourite thing.

in the land of heffalumps

noreply@blogger.com (Ali B) — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 12:25:00 +0000

seriously no time to post right now but i made my way through bangkok and up to Surin through torrential floods (over waist deep). At the sanctuary now and did my first elephant bath today. An outstanding experience. They have really really really big poo and that's what I will be turning into paper tomorrow. More later. Will find a way to post dammit! Sorry for no comments lately, it has been a whirlwind since I left France. Soon I will have tons of pictures, I finally got a camera!!! and it's waterproof!!!