CATTLEPROD

Mano a Mano

noreply@blogger.com (CATTLEPROD) — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 17:14:00 +0000

Mano a Mano

Does anyone else out there feel schizophrenic? I am. I think everybody is. Maybe that line between your split personalities is less delineated than mine. Most people have a fusion of personas. Overlaps and grey areas. Your personas are all fused into one, or the id, ego and superego if my Psych 101 serves me correctly. Mine are quite distinct. In fact, chalk and cheese, black and white.

Have you ever played Mortal Kombat? That's what happens in my head and in my heart, daily. I have two contenders: 'Rational Rob' whose special power might be derived from his alliterative name... You never know. And in the other corner there is 'Emotional Rob', whose special powers are derived from the collective and accumulative evolution of mankind's spirit.

Now picture a Mortal Kombat battle with these two pugilists engaged in a war of biblical proportions. Equally matched. Each knowing the weaknesses and strengths of the other and exploiting both. 'FINISH HIM' will scream through your crappy PC speakers as 'Emotional Rob' blocks an impressive combo from 'Rational Rob' and counter-attacks with a flurry of impulsivity blows and releases the awesome power of spontaneity, leading with the heart and gut; impervious to the wily, cerebral thrust and parry of his opponent.

Locked in an eternal internal battle. My cranium is a battleground littered with corpses and echoing with victory cries.

Perhaps it's the figurative 'devil and angel' scenario? They sit on my shoulder whispering things into my subconscious. 'Trust yourself and jump' says 'Emotional Rob'. 'Listen to reason. Look before you leap. It would be unwise not to; judging by what others have done and the mistakes they have made. History and experience prove it. Surely you can see that?' mutters 'Rational Rob'. 'Bollocks to that!' shouts 'Emotional Rob', 'I will suck the marrow; jump in the deep end and only then think about learning how to swim.' To which 'Rational Rob' replies: 'You're a fucking idiot! It's going to end badly and you know it!' 'Pfffft, whatever! I need to experience everything. Heartache and pain, love and happiness. It's Yin and Yang. You can't live in fear. You must just do it - whatever it is - screw the consequences. It's the only way to live life. It's visceral and raw and it's the truth. It represents everything that it means to be alive and human. Your rationality is a hindrance and a crutch.'

'It's not a crutch, you myopic lunatic! It's being rational. How can anyone make a case against rationality?' scoffs 'Rational Rob'.

'I can and I will,' replies 'Emotional Rob'.

Every day my mind is a boxing match between these two. I prefer 'Emotional Rob', but I love the way 'Rational Rob' thinks. He always makes so much sense and I would be best positioned to heed his advice more often. However, 'Emotional Rob' has lead me to paths less traveled. He has taught me the most, both good and bad. I trust 'Emotional Rob' implicitly. It's a roller-coaster ride though. Massive parabolic curves, waxing and waning between absolute gut-wrenching darkness and pain, but taking me into atmospheric heights of pleasure, love and happiness. 'Rational Rob' hates the roller-coaster. He is scared of heights. He is a fucking pussy. He does make a lot of sense though.

They both live in my head. Like an old married couple. Constantly bickering, but in a strange way, they both have a deep love and understanding of each other. I am forced to take sides in this argument though, like a reluctant dinner guest drawn into a domestic squabble.

This is my schizophrenia. This is my life. This is me.

Am I right though? Does everyone have this same experience? Or do I really have a split personality?

Who wins in your cerebral Mortal Kombat battles? And why? Who do you listen to? And why? You'll notice question marks are quite prolific. My mind is a permanent maelstrom of questions. I hate them. 'Tis but the curse of what is termed an 'inquiring mind'. I suffer under and rejoice my inquiring mind. It is yet another thing that convinces me that I have a split persona. Question everything! But be prepared for the answer. In fact, be prepared to realise that each answer is coupled with yet another question. Peace in my skull is my greatest wish. It is the reason I do 'extreme sports'. Nothing shuts up those two aforementioned idiots than throwing them both out of a plane or off a 3 metre drop on a minedump or off of a building or into any scenario where any lapse in concentration will result in death or serious, debilitating injury. I enjoy the silence, but I do not wish for the bliss of ignorance. I don't want to be a mouth breather. Living life in some catatonic state of vacuous stupidity. As much as I would enjoy the white noise of ignorance, I still relish my inquiring mind and what I have learnt and experienced because of it.

'Emotional Rob' is often the victor in my life. Unfortunately, it is - more often than not - a Pyrrhic Victory. The battle is won, but not the war.

And now, if you have battled through this post, you will understand me quite intimately. It's my own cathartic release and I can only hope it is either enlightening or entertaining, or both.

'Emotional Rob' signs off with a Shakespearean quote 'This, above all, to thine own self be true!' (tattooed on my chest, by the way)

'Rational Rob' signs off with an Einstein quote: 'There are only two things that are infinite: the universe and human stupidity... And I'm not sure about the former.' (not tattooed on my person, but equally as relevant)

Casey Heynes: Anti-bully champion and viral sensation | memeburn

noreply@blogger.com (CATTLEPROD) — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 12:37:00 +0000

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WantItAll.co.za

noreply@blogger.com (CATTLEPROD) — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 16:49:00 +0000

WantItAll.co.za: "With 14 million products, WantItAll is the premier online shop."

Frank Watts discusses the famous Battle at Kruger

noreply@blogger.com (CATTLEPROD) — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 13:59:00 +0000

We recently went out to Mpumalanga to my client: Chestnut Country Lodge and managed to score an interview with Frank Watts. He was the lucky guide who managed to witness Battle at Kruger, the YouTube hit with over 60 million views (see inset video). We like to think it's a nice addition to the marketing collateral for the client. :)

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noreply@blogger.com (CATTLEPROD) — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 12:41:00 +0000

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The robot armageddon is nigh! | memeburn

noreply@blogger.com (CATTLEPROD) — Wed, 19 Jan 2011 08:58:00 +0000

The robot armageddon is nigh! | memeburn

My latest article on Memeburn is a must-read :)

Group buying explodes on the SA market | memeburn

noreply@blogger.com (CATTLEPROD) — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 14:27:00 +0000

Group buying explodes on the SA market | memeburn

Rymdreglage - 8-bit trip

noreply@blogger.com (CATTLEPROD) — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 12:19:00 +0000

Hit the ground running

noreply@blogger.com (CATTLEPROD) — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 06:17:00 +0000

Hitting the ground running

I crank out this old chestnut every year at this time. Enjoy!

Ah, the halcyon days of a summer holiday. The aptly titled festive season is pregnant with the stuff of dreams. Presents and parties. Beaches and beers. Sunshine and surf. Fiestas and siestas. Mamasitas and margheritas. Mexican revelry aside, the list is boundless and embodies the true reward for our year-long slog at the coalface. Yet all too soon the wrapping paper is lining your kitchen drawers, the tree is dead; the hangovers linger like farts under the blankets, and the final grains of beach sand fall out of your boardshorts as you pack them away to the back of your cupboard.

Your first Monday back at work and cold reality hits you like a cement avalanche. It’s like waking up from a particularly erotic dream involving your tongue down Megan Fox’s throat, only to find your bulldog Winston lapping lovingly at your face. What the (insert preferred expletive)? The New Year is supposed to spell hope and renewed vigour after your relaxing sabbatical. You are supposed to be champing at the bit and rearing to go. Bollocks!

Post-holiday blues they call it. And when it hits, it’s like an uppercut from an amphetamine-crazed Mike Tyson. The causes are numerous and evil:

Fatigue: Yup, that holiday was supposed to recharge your batteries, but nooooo, you had to go at it hammer and tongs. You should have flashbacks of tequila marathons, four course gluttony, dancing on tables, falling off tables, spading anything with a pulse, beers for breakfast, too many sunrises through inebriated eyes. Eish! Basically, you’re fucked. You’re body has taken a Santa-sized rockin’ and now the liver police are a knockin’.

Unfulfilled expectations: You thought that somehow the holiday would magically fix everything and transform your life. Dude it’s just a holiday. Same shit, different day is now your mantra.

Financial reality: Bonus, thirteenth cheque, Xmas cash from Granma, salary for January which you said would last. Sure. It’s all gone. Your credit card looks like a Dali painting, molten and ugly. Screw road fatalities, budgets are the first casualties of the festive season.

Relationship tensions: Your romantic holiday turned into a 2-week emotional hurricane. Bickering, blow outs, snide remarks about map reading etc. Or the typical family gatherings turned into bitter, perhaps bloody, feuds.

Work schmirk: Back at work you have 1434 unanswered e-mails. You slacked off before the break letting stuff pile up. Everyone else is cranky. Everyone wants it yesterday. Ouch!

Essentially, a great recipe for suicidal tendencies. And who can blame you? If you feel bright and chipper in your grey cubicle staring at a flickering PC screen after weeks of sun, sand, beach and babes, then you need your head read. But all is not lost. Here’s some tips on filing that shit under yesterday’s news and looking to 2011 with all that florid shyte you got sent via SMS on New Year’s day. You know, wings to fly, dreams to cuddle, unicorns vomiting rainbows and all that girly bollocks.

Health: Time to pay your debt. Multi-vitamins, fruit and veg, bit of gym or a jog. Few less Patrons on a Friday night. You know the drill, now do it. Waking up with a massive hangover now will only send you deeper down. Feeling healthy will give you renewed energy.

Friends and family: Dude you had a blast with all those people. Why stop now? Visit people, go for coffee, send e-mails, and make a few calls. Just because you aren’t on holiday doesn’t mean the deathknell of your social life. Moping is the worst thing you can do.

Plan your future: Nothing left to look forward to, huh? Make plans. Start planning a weekend away ASAP, or even your Easter break. Mark down in your diary any events like parties, engagements, concerts, sports, hell even braais. This will give you plenty to look forward to.

Cheap, cheap: Conserving precious financial resources is the order of the day. Go out less. If you wanna have a blow-out, have a cocktail party. Ask each person to bring a different spirit or mixer. DVD instead of the movies. Pasta instead of prawns. Picnics in the park. Chill by the pool with a book. Go for a drive in the country. Sleep.

The dreaded Work: Work is gonna be hell the first few weeks. Try and ease into it. Take your whole lunch break out of the office. Even if it’s just a zarm in the carpark. Don’t work late to catch up. Get your colleagues to help out. You’re all in this together.

Hopefully, these crutches will help a little. It’s still gonna hurt, but hey, you should have some awesome holiday memories to tide you over. Don’t dwell too much on them though. Start thinking how you’re gonna top it this December.

Good luck!

Travelling internationally? Need translation apps. Check out these two.

noreply@blogger.com (CATTLEPROD) — Sun, 19 Dec 2010 04:54:00 +0000

Twitter’s promoted products begin to deliver results | memeburn

noreply@blogger.com (CATTLEPROD) — Sat, 18 Dec 2010 23:45:00 +0000

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Fillet! It is here.

noreply@blogger.com (CATTLEPROD) — Tue, 14 Dec 2010 02:27:00 +0000

Meet Super Cow. The Belgian Blue has been selectively bred over the last century to be very muscular, thus yielding more meat and less fat. Now why haven't we done this with chickens? I love chicken wings. A lot. Why don't we breed chickens with four wings and four legs. We would then get twice the amount of wings and drumsticks by killing 50% less chickens? :p

Merry Xmas from Kassie and Rob! :p

noreply@blogger.com (CATTLEPROD) — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 23:18:00 +0000

12 social media personality types to look out for | memeburn

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District 9 director’s strange new viral video | memeburn

noreply@blogger.com (CATTLEPROD) — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 07:35:00 +0000

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Freaky vid. Check it out.

Danny MacAskill - "Way Back Home" - NEW street trials riding short film

noreply@blogger.com (CATTLEPROD) — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 23:33:00 +0000

I'm sure you've seen Danny MacAskill's 1st YouTube hit video? If not then watch here... then watch the follow up. LOVE IT!

How should brands respond when being cyber-bullied? | memeburn

noreply@blogger.com (CATTLEPROD) — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 11:32:00 +0000

How should brands respond when being cyber-bullied? | memeburn

My latest article on Memeburn. Check it out.

@MrDickens 'What are the essential ingredients of Old Spin'

noreply@blogger.com (CATTLEPROD) — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 17:18:00 +0000

WAAAHAHAHA! Old Spin Guy responds to me my Twitter question.

A visit from the Spotted Eagle Owl

noreply@blogger.com (CATTLEPROD) — Mon, 15 Nov 2010 23:13:00 +0000

Sitting watching TV and I hear an eerie sound. I immediately recognise the call of an owl. I mute the TV and there it is again "HU HOO HOOoooo". "THEY'RE BACK," I say in my excited birdwatching brain.

I leap out of bed and run upstairs to my balcony. I have heard them before... Spotted Eagle Owls! But I have never seen them. The call is so eerie and carries so much that I first go to my front balcony. I wonder if they're this side? Then I remember that last time they were perched in the two big blue gums on my property. The one tree is mere metres from my top storey balcony, which is practically at perfect owl-height.

I run downstairs to fetch my torch and bound back up to the braai deck (my back balcony). As soon as I open the sliding door the call booms in the night. They must be right here! My curious cat Clio is following me around (as usual... she's a right Daddy's girl that one) and when she hears the call her ears prick up. I can see a "WTF?" look on her face. It sounds like an animal, a bird perhaps, but it's at night and it's a pretty ghostly sound. She seems both excited and nervous. Normally when there's a bird around she starts shaking and making a "ma-ah-ah-ah-ah" stuttered quiet meow. She is lacking confidence this time and looks to me for support.

I am almost committing suicide by hanging dangerously over my balcony, craning my neck and straining my eyes, peering into the blue gum tree. I KNOW they are there. The male is definitely in this tree. "Hu hoo" he calls and is answered by his mate in the blue gum near the gate almost immediately. "Hu Hoo hooooo" she replies. Assuaging any of his fears that she may have drifted too far from his protection. They mate for life these majestic animals.

Then I see her! She flies straight into the blue gum opposite my balcony to join her mate. I don't hear her massive wings flapping though. As with most nocturnal and/or hunting birds, they have special "fimbrae" on the leading edge of their primary wing feathers which make them fly silently. This allows them - amongst other special adaptations - the element of surprise when hunting.

She flits to another branch and I can see her. Wow! It's very humbling to watch an owl and listen to their call. It's almost spiritual. Hence why the owl has, for millennia, been an animal that has haunted the mythology of humankind.

I managed to snap a picture with the camera, but you can only see her eyes:

Here's a better picture of these gorgeous animals:

And here's the call I was listening to:

Click HERE to play Spotted Eagle Owl call

If you've enjoyed my little midnight liaison with a pair of Spotted Eagle Owls (Bubo Africanus) then perhaps you'd like to read up a little more on these stunning creatures. Please CLICK HERE for the wiki link.

I really do urge everyone to get more acquainted with birds. If it wasn't for my knowledge and love of birds (and all animals) I would have ignorantly continued watching crappy TV while this magical visit happened right on my doorstep. All you need is a little knowledge and to open your eyes and ears to this wondrous life. So many of us are caught up in the hustle and bustle of the daily grind in this concrete jungle that we don't take time to really SEE, HEAR, TOUCH, SMELL and TASTE the world around us.

Bird-watching is one way. Especially at this time of year. We have some amazing summer visitors. Some of you will have heard the Red-chested Cuckoo (commonly the Piet My Vrou) recently. Another beautiful bird! Good luck spotting one though. They are incredibly shy, due to the fact that cuckoos don't make nests. They "hijack" another species' nest and will boot out their egg and lay their own, leaving some poor schmuck to raise an ugly duckling. This is why they are very difficult to spot and rather skittish, because - and rightly so - they are mobbed by other birds who don't want to see their buns chucked out of the oven.

See pic below of a poor adult Karoo Thrush feeding its "baby" - a Red-Chested Cuckoo baba that is twice its size already. Poor Thrush must be thinking that this is a baby only a mother could love. Not to mention how demanding a baby of that size must be in terms of food. Nature is amazing.

I also often hear and see the European Bee-Eater in Johannesburg. The distinctive "prrrrp, prrrp" call will have my head snapping back immediately to see the flock in the sky and it's only seconds before I identify the bird's characteristic wing shape and flight pattern.

I doubt you even knew that a bird as magnificently beautiful as this is often flying right above your head here in Johannesburg?

Distinctive wing shape

BEE-yootiful

So WAKE UP and be more observant. Go and buy yourself the SASOL Guide to Birds of Southern Africa, which is my chosen field guide... so go and buy a copy and get started, but you can also check it out online HERE.

If birds aren't your cup of Earl Grey then how about stars? Everyone loves star-gazing. Even if it just means learning a few of the basic constellations and spending an evening on a blanket outside trying to identify them. Orion, the Hunter, is particularly magnificent right now (November) as well as Taurus, the Bull. Two of the easiest to see and identify. Go on. Do it! Your life will be richer for the effort. I can promise you that.

DOWNLOAD THIS FANTASTIC FREE PROGRAM TO EXPLORE THE SKIES. It's easy, just fill in your location and take your laptop outside. :)

Check out what's happening in our skies this November. CLICK HERE.

Mind-blowing streetstyle skating by Kilian Martin

noreply@blogger.com (CATTLEPROD) — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 14:20:00 +0000

As a Freeborder, snowboarder, sandboarder and ex-windsurfer, water skier and skateboarder, having dabbled in wakeboarding and surfing; I have an extreme affinity for all board sports. They are all very similar in mindset, skill and creativity. Boardriders, of all disciplines, are like a global brotherhood. It is for this reason that I was quite moved when watching this video. It always amazes me at the creativity and skill of boardriders. Someone is ALWAYS pushing the envelope and blowing our minds with innate skill, innovation, precision and talent. Kilian Martin is one of these prodigies.

As one Yootoobs commentator puts it: "That's what I call a mix of street, freestyle, and WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?"

This video is amazing, I'm sure you'll agree.

XMAS Gift Ideas: Shweshwe Poppis

noreply@blogger.com (CATTLEPROD) — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 18:00:00 +0000

Shwe Shwe Poppis™ are living stories of hope from the land of South Africa.

These charming and imaginative fantasy figures are based on a series of original children’s drawings produced by the kids at the African Children’s Feeding Scheme’s Malnutrition and Rehabilitation Creche in Zola, Soweto. Lovingly hand-sewn by women from the community and inspired by stories from South African culture, these quirky, unique and sought-after creations are providing sustainable employment, educational opportunities and a sense of pride and purpose for many deserving men, women and kids from Soweto.

http://www.shweshwepoppis.com/

The true spirit of gift-giving

noreply@blogger.com (CATTLEPROD) — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 13:39:00 +0000

OFFICE CHRISTMAS

It's silly season and many companies will be doing "Secret Santa" gift-giving in the workspace. As my gorgeous better-half points out; people will be blowing R50 on stupid little gifts. Instead of Secret Santa in your office this year PLEASE can you try and mobilise your office to rather take all of those R50 notes and donate to a charity. Of course, my chosen charity is Berea - Hillbrow HOME OF HOPE.

Everyone in the office can nominate a charity and you can put them in a hat and draw one, or perhaps your company already has a Corporate Social Investment charity.

Hell, why not go the whole hog and instead of an end-of-year party you all go and do charitable work for the day. Imagine tossing out all of that conspicuous consumerism and saving the money that would be spent on a lavish restaurant lunch, where everyone gets a bit too tipsy and does or says things they regret afterwards, and donating that money to charity while you all get together and do charitable work. Everyone wins! The company doesn't have to worry about any personal fallouts and runaway booze bills, you and your colleagues will experience great camaraderie and charitable spirit, along with team-building and bonding. Awards can still be given out, and the underprivileged will get a much-needed boost of festive spirit and cheer. Try out http://www.cheesekids.org.za - They will easily set up the whole thing for you, including transport.

If there are too many "Bah Humbugs!" about having to do charity work and no end-of-year pissup, take the team out for some well-deserved drinks or a lunch afterwards.

FAMILY CHRISTMAS

Our family usually has a massive big lunch together with everyone. Instead of ALL of us buying presents for EVERYONE, all the adults donate R50 (or more if you like) to a predetermined charity (Check out The Trust locally or JustGive.org internationally for an easy way to make donations as gifts). Kids still get presents, but it's really stupid to spend so much money on presents for everyone. Do you really need that latest bestseller, or a new pair of socks (actually, I do) but still, can't you just buy that for yourself? There are people out there that can't even read and have never owned socks. Who do you think needs your compassion and charity more? It's a no-brainer.

If you're still not convinced, maybe read what the Dalai Lama has to say about true success and happiness:

I have found that the greatest degree of inner tranquility comes from the development of love and compassion. The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being. Cultivating a close, warm-hearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. It is the ultimate source of success in life.

It is not enough to be compassionate. You must act. There are two aspects to action. One is to overcome the distortions and afflictions of your own mind, that is, in terms of calming and eventually dispelling anger. This is action out of compassion. The other is more social, more public. When something needs to be done in the world to rectify the wrongs, if one is really concerned with benefitting others, one needs to be engaged, involved. - Dalai Lama

FREEBORD Best Submitted Videos 2010

noreply@blogger.com (CATTLEPROD) — Sat, 06 Nov 2010 15:13:00 +0000

As some of you know, I'm a Freebord NUT! SNOWBOARD THE STREETS! :) So here are the BSV submissions for this year. I LOVE the winning video. Oh, but first, let me explain Freebording for the uninitiated.

FREEBORD RIDE EXPLAINED

BSV 2010 - 1ST "Virtual Invasion"

Virtual Invasion. from Manon Gicquel on Vimeo.

2ND -

Freebord BSV- Love and Skate from steven bianco on Vimeo.

3RD -

Directions. from Sam Trowbridge on Vimeo.

Fireworks should be banned on Guy Fawkes

noreply@blogger.com (CATTLEPROD) — Thu, 04 Nov 2010 10:10:00 +0000

With the tradition of Guy Fawkes upon us, I thought it was time for a rant. I have a number of points.

Almost every tradition we know has been hijacked, twisted and corrupted in to some form of capitalist consumerist orgy. Many of them have been adopted for no particular reason at all. Recently we celebrated Halloween or All Hallow's Eve. Historically, it marked the beginning of kak cold weather for the Celts. The Christians hijacked it as All Saint's Eve and then the Yanks just went bos with Trick or Treating and carved pumpkins. WTF? So now we spend cash on costumes and decorations and get drunk, which doesn't really honour anything. Easter, supposed to be a Christian festival to mark the resurrection of Jesus. Now we go away on long weekend holidays and splurge wads of cash on chocolate bunnies. Christmas, once again, a Pagan Winter solstice festival, hijacked by Christians and now we spend wads of cash on presents and decorations, we stuff our faces and get drunk. Which brings me to Guy Fawkes.

I doubt 90% of the population in South Africa could even tell you who Guy Fawkes was or why he has a day named after him. The ignorance is further entrenched when these same people call it Guy Fox and probably spell it that way too. It's pronounced the same as 'forks'. Please read up here. Once again, it's linked to Christianity in that Fawkes (Catholic) wanted to blow up the King (Protestant). So very unlike religious types to resort to this violent sort of behaviour, isn't it?

It is an archaic festival, as they all are, but its relevance to South African society can only be drawn by a tenuous link to British colonialism. In effect, Guy Fawkes Eve is a thanksgiving celebration to say "Yay, the King didn't asplode!" Now if you, like me, couldn't give a rat's tonsil about the English Monarchy - any monarchy for that matter - then this celebration is really a load of codswallop.

However, if you, like me, are a pyromaniac then this celebration is a grand excuse for you to run around with matches terrorising all flammable stuff in the vicinity, wild-eyed and grinning, while shouting in your best caveman voice: "MAN MAKE FIRE!" As I said, I'm a pyromaniac, probably a pyrophiliac too. Fire gives me a woody. Okay, maybe not, but I couldn't resist that.

Contrary to some people's belief, setting off fireworks is not supposed to symbolise the gunpowder that Guy Fawkes was to use to blow up the Houses of Parliament. Unless, perhaps, you are a Fawkes sympathiser? Guy Fawkes night is also known as Bonfire Night. The people were so happy to have this conspiracy foiled and the King saved that they lit bonfires in celebration and even burnt effigies of Fawkes (Sometimes they burnt effigies of The Pope too - this being a Catholic plot after all. I somehow think that many Catholics will be setting off fireworks on Guy Fawkes with no knowledge of this fact). It was even declared a public holiday by the Thanskgiving Act of 1605.

Which brings me right up until today when the night is still celebrated, mostly by ignorant fools, by setting off fireworks.

Without mincing words, fireworks are animal cruelty. The loud percussive explosions combined with blinding light are so terrifying to animals that it literally drives them insane. Their hearing, being exponentially more sensitive than ours, makes these explosions overwhelmingly painful and petrifying. Read THIS to find out how inhumane and cruel fireworks are to animals. An excerpt:

Firework displays and celebrations bring confusion, anxiety and fear into the lives of animals, causing many to run away from their homes in an effort to escape the frightening detonations.

Fireworks are not animal-friendly. Invariably, when communities celebrate with fireworks, local shelters and other animal aid organizations are overwhelmed by the "fallout," which manifests in an increased number of stray animals and reports of injuries and trauma to animals. Those animals who are reunited with their families must consider themselves fortunate. Many injured or terrorized animals run away from their homes to escape the traumatizing detonations of fireworks. Some are hit by cars and injured or killed, some are maimed for life, while others are never recovered alive.

Firework explosions can produce a blind panic in animals that can lead to serious injury, deep-rooted, debilitating fears, or even death. This is, in part, because the events do not last long enough for animals to become accustomed to the explosions. Moreover, the ears of most animals are considerably more sensitive than the human ear. Therefore, the explosion of a firework (which can emit sounds of up to 190 decibels, a full 110 to 115 decibels higher than the 75- to 80-decibel range, where damage to the human ear begins) not only is proportionately more disturbing to an animal, it can also affect an animal's acute sense of hearing. And animals who are too close to firework explosions often suffer significant burns and eye damage. Fireworks generate a noise level higher than the noise from gunshots (140 decibels) and low-level flying jets (100 decibels). Irreversible ear damage, such as tinnitus and loss of hearing in humans starts at the 80-decibel range.

There are no "safe" places to hold fireworks displays either. Residential areas have hundreds and thousands of pets. Rural areas have pets, wildlife and horses. Then there's the birds:

If live fireworks come into contact with birds they can cause severe burns and injuries to a bird’s plumage, limbs, eyes and skin. The chemicals used in fireworks, including combustible powders and toxic inks, can also cause gastrointestinal distress if they are ingested, even in small quantities. The loud concussions made by fireworks can damage birds’ sensitive hearing or may cause enough emotional and psychological stress to drive birds away from nests and babies.

So please, join me in supporting the ban on ALL fireworks. They are not necessary. They are but trivial entertainments. Humans go "Ooooh, aaaah, look at the pretty lights with the loud boom!" while thousands of animals are driven to panic, pain, trauma and injury, sometimes death.

If you really want to celebrate Guy Fawkes then why not make a big bonfire? It's bang on tradition, if that's your thing, but more importantly REAL MEN make fires. Building, making and tending to a fire is about as manly as it gets. Flicking a Bic on a fuse is for pussies.