Celebrity Semiotic

Big Brother Drug Dealer

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 13:51:35 Z

Former Big Brother winner Adam Jasinski is in big trouble: CHERRY HILL native Adam Jasinski used his $500,000 prize from winning CBS' "Big Brother" to buy oxycodone pills to re-sell,...

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A Tale of Two Daughters

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 12:28:13 Z

This is the tale of two daughters -- each born of rocker passion and into money. In the same week, one daughter accused her dead father of having sex with her for a decade while the other found her...

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Ellen on Idol?

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 16:09:15 Z

The depressing news that Ellen DeGeneres has been hired to weigh down American Idol as the new fourth judge is the only proof we need that the show is cooked, done and over and a satire unto...

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Hiding Dominick Dunne's Death

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 14:34:29 Z

In a strange twist of one celebrity having more fame than another, the family of writer Dominick Dunne tried to hide his death from the media so his death wouldn't be overshadowed by the demise of...

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Megan Wants a Murderer

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 13:47:08 Z

The horrific murder story of Ryan Jenkins allegedly killing his girlfriend and then cutting off her fingers and pulling her teeth -- is perhaps the beginning of the end of irresponsible reality...

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No Victoria for Paula

Fri, 07 Aug 2009 13:45:24 Z

We were delighted to learn this week that Paula Abdul had done herself in by getting removed from "American Idol." We are in love with the doe-eyed Kara DioGuardi and with Paula out,...

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Shatting on Palin

Fri, 31 Jul 2009 14:42:10 Z

William Shatner's goofing on Sarah Palin's farewell speech was funny the first time. The second time, when Shatner tried to make fun of her Tweets, he plopped and flopped -- all while the...

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Wondering About Wintermint

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 13:34:10 Z

What is "Wintermint" and why must we have that word forced into our common vocabulary? "Wintermint" is neither "winter" or "minty" and trying to make it into...

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Pitching Billy Mays

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 11:56:26 Z

It's been a rough few weeks in the land of celebrity. First David Carradine died. Then Ed McMahon died -- quickly followed by Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson and now, pitchman Billy...

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Vote Heidi and Spencer Off the Earth!

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 16:43:57 Z

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt -- of MTV's "The Hills" -- are, for some reason, clamoring to return to the Costa Rican jungle set of "Get Me Out of Here, I'm a Celebrity" after...

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As Farrah Fades

Fri, 15 May 2009 13:28:46 Z

We learned this week in gory and vibrant detail that Farrah Fawcett -- the love of many a young boy's life -- is fading from us as cancer cancels her body. Over the arc of her public and private...

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Manny Ramirez Springs the Mortal Coil

Fri, 08 May 2009 12:50:25 Z

Manny Ramirez has been banned from baseball for 50 games. He can kiss $8 million and the Hall of Fame goodbye. We wonder why so many professional baseball players value hubris over hard...

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Melissa Rivers Shits the Bed

Fri, 01 May 2009 14:23:59 Z

We hate the title of this article, but after a week of careful thought, we decided -- "Melissa Rivers Shits the Bed" -- is precisely what happened this week on Celebrity Apprentice. We...

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Susan Boyle: The Ugly and the Unkissed

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 16:26:00 Z

We find the rise of television and internet singing phenomenon Susan Boyle confusing and disappointing. What the world is confessing in their stunned sycophancy for her is ritualistically simple: ...

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Kathy Griffin Cuts a Bitch

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 17:58:44 Z

We have loved Kathy Griffin because she is an outsider and a rebel. What, then, happens when your favorite celebrity stone-thrower becomes a fawning morass of sentimentality instead of a biting,...

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Marco Pierre White Gets Chopped

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:09:59 Z

NBC -- the "Nothing But Cowards" television network -- unceremoniously canceled the outstanding and exciting Marco Pierre White "Chopping Block" series last week. We loved...

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Survivor Tocatins Team Color Enhancements

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 13:34:25 Z

Survivor Tocatins is especially pleasing this season as we get our first exposure to the intentional color coordination of each team in the clothes they are wearing: In previous Survivor seasons,...

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Joan and Melissa Rivers Ruin Celebrity Apprentice 2

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 17:05:29 Z

We were looking forward to Donald Trump's "Celebrity Apprentice 2" until we learned that the "Apron Strings" tag-team of Joan and Melissa Rivers would be competing separately on...

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Cancel American Idol

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 15:01:18 Z

We previously loved American Idol 8, but now that we're down to the nut of it, we realize the show is fatally flawed. American Idol has become Karaoke with the worst singers. The contestants are...

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Marie Osmond: Eat Something!

Fri, 20 Feb 2009 13:03:46 Z

We all know Marie Osmond has an obsessive-compulsive nature. We've seen the results of her overeating and her over-dancing. Now, as she pitches a weight-loss program tooting how she lost 50 pounds,...

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