Celibaciez.com Latest Blog Posts

New study outlines economic impact of same-sex marriage

Thu, 02 May 2013 12:56:39 GMT

Rhode Island's same-sex marriage debate is often cast as a civil rights issue, but a new study suggests legalizing gay weddings could have a measurable economic impact as well.

The new study released by UCLA School of Law's Williams Institute argues that extending marriage rights to same-sex couples in Rhode Island would bring an estimated $7 million into the Ocean State's economy, primarily through the local wedding and tourism industries. The study predicts that in the first three years after legalizing same-sex marriage, Rhode Island's wedding and tourism businesses would see total spending increase by $7 million, including $5.5 million in additional wedding spending and $1.5 million in tourism expenditures made by out-of-town guests.

The 2010 U.S. Census found nearly 3,000 same-sex couples living in Rhode Island. Using patterns observed in Massachusetts and other states that already allow same-sex marriage, the Williams Institute study predicts that around 800 marriage licenses would be issued in Rhode Island in the first three years after legalization.

Those 800 additional weddings would generate new local revenue in Rhode Island, as the couples would have to pay for venues, caterers and other costs associated with weddings. Weddings typically attract out-of-town guests, which would further boost tourism sales, the study suggested.

"These are just a few of the financial benefits of extending same-sex marriage in Rhode Island," M.V. Lee Badgett, research director at the Williams Institute and economist professor at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, said in a statement. "Rhode Island would see a surge in spending related to weddings by same-sex couples and their guests who choose to marry in the state, generating additional tax revenue for the state."

The study did not take into account the potential impact of out-of-state couples who may travel to Rhode Island in order to legally marry. The bill to officially recognize same-sex marriage in the Rhode Island passed the Senate last week and the House Judiciary Committee on Tuesday, setting up a final vote Thursday. Gov. Lincoln Chafee said he's planning to sign the bill Thursday evening if it passes the House.

Source: wpri

Everything is Not "Fine": Passive Aggressive Behavior is Destroying Your Relationships

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 12:41:34 GMT

I'll never forget hearing a relative tell me that she would secretly add V-8 juice to her (now ex) husband's food because he "hated" tomatoes. It seemed unbelievably cruel, dishonest and incredibly passive aggressive. Surely it had little to do with his hate for tomatoes and a whole lot more to do with her dissatisfaction with her marriage. Why else would she do that? Why do we lie, cloak our feelings, and destroy so many of our relationships?

As it turns out, while you may not secretly spike your beloved's food with something he hates, chances are you've exhibited some other passive aggressive behaviors. Most of us do at some point or another. It's not that we're inherently bad people. In fact, it's a lot more complicated than that.

The complexity of modern life has infused our experiences with many incredible wonders and joys. It has also separated us from one another in profound ways, leading us to feel unsupported and confused by intimacy. We can often interpret kindness as competition, and love as an attack. Most of us simply haven't been taught how to take responsibility for our actions, and we're afraid to speak up and say what we feel about a situation without blaming or being misunderstood. It's also why passive aggressive behavior is so common, according to Tim Murphy, a psychologist and coauthor of Overcoming Passive-Aggression: How to Stop Hidden Anger From Spoiling Your Relationships, Career and Happiness.

Passive aggression is, for all intents and purposes, the lazy person's way of dealing with uncomfortable situations. It is "very sneaky behavior that people can hide and deny," says Murphy. For example, rather than saying "hell no I don't want to go to your cousin's Downton Abby viewing party!" we may more likely agree to go and then sulk the whole time making people feel awkward. My relative could have tried to find a healthy food her husband liked rather than sneaking tomatoes into his soup. Or she could have just accepted that it wasn't really her problem in the first place.

But, when we make other people's problems our own, or when we're not quite sure what we're feeling or how to deal with that, we can take a number of passive aggressive actions. And the classic passive aggressive behaviors: hostile jokes, procrastination, stubbornness, sullenness, lying and resistance, can become incredibly taxing on relationships—be they professional or personal.

The girl in your office who thinks you're out to get her job may sabotage your work by failing to meet team deadlines or intentionally doing a bad job, if it could somehow impact your perceived performance. It's enough to make you want to retaliate. But don't, says Murphy. And don't play dumb or take the peacemaker route, either, as you may become an even bigger dumping ground for the behavior. Instead, call it out. Ask your attacker to speak up. Let them know you don't think they look happy about your working together and it needs to be addressed. Or suggest your partner stay home and skip the Downtown Abby party if you know he really doesn't want to go.

I recently heard an empowering speech about our need to experience collective grief. Grieving the pains and losses in our own lives as well as the pains and losses of our planet can be a much healthier process when we do this together. When we do it alone, we're more likely to experience deeper depression, anger and resentment. When we're given the safe space to speak up about what's on our minds, we will. As a society, we're still taking baby steps towards that reality. So remember that you don't need to defend yourself against what someone else is feeling. Those are their feelings. They own them; they are responsible for them. You are not. Remember what don Miguel Ruiz wrote inThe Four Agreements: be impeccable with your word, don’t take anything personally, don't make assumptions and always do your best.

Source: organicauthority

Everything is Not "Fine": Passive Aggressive Behavior is Destroying Your Relationships

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 13:47:24 GMT

Source: organicauthority

Could your sexual habits put you at risk for gonorrhoea?

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 09:12:45 GMT

It’s not only the dangers of contracting HIV/AIDS or even an unknown pregnancy when you have unprotected sex. There are a number of diseases that are transmitted via sexual contact with an infected person. In India, although the number of people suffering from gonorrhea is dropping, it is still a condition that most people suffer from and don’t even know about it. Here is a post on all you need to know about gonorrhoea.

What is gonorrhoea?
Gonorrhoea is a bacterial infection that is transmitted by sexual contact with an infected person. Caused by an organism known as Neisseriagonorrheae, the disease can be transmitted by contact with body fluids as well. The organism multiplies well in warm and moist parts of the reproductive tract like the vagina, uterus, cervix, Fallopian tubes, and urethra of both men and women. It is also known to grow in the mouth, throat, eyes and anus.

How is it transmitted?
A person who is sexually active and has multiple sexual partners are most prone to this condition. The CDC recently estimated that approximately 19 million people get infected with gonorrhoea every year*. The bacterium is transmitted by sexual contact with a person who already has the disease. Sexual contact includes penetrative sex, oral sex or anal sex. The infection can even get transmitted from one partner to the other by a mere exchange of body fluids. It also can infect a new born born to a mother suffering from the condition during child birth.

Symptoms
Gonorrhoea is one of the most under-diagnosed STDs. In most cases people don’t have any perceivable symptoms, but the most common amongst men is to have severe burning sensation while passing urine, and in most cases they will notice a whitish or greenish discharge from the penis. In some cases they may also experience painful and swollen testis. Men will usually notice these symptoms one to 14 days after being infected.

In the case of women the symptoms are usually milder and are most often confused with a urinary tract infection or a vaginal infection. The most common symptoms in women are – experiencing a burning sensation while passing urine, increased amounts of vaginal discharge, and vaginal bleeding between periods.

Apart from the above symptoms, in cases of gonorrheal infection of the anus both men and women are likely to experience symptoms such as anal discharge, itching in the anal mouth, soreness, bleeding or painful bowel movements. In the case of gonorrhea of the throat, the person may experience soreness of the throat.

Diagnosis
The diagnosis of gonorrhoea is usually a very simple procedure. Usually a urine sample should suffice to diagnose the condition. In cases where a person has had oral or anal sex, the technician will either take a throat or anal swab. If the doctor suspects that a patient is suffering from uterine or urethral gonorrhea, he may advise the technician to take a swab sample from either the urethra in the case of men and the cervical opening in the case of women.

Treatment
A doctor will treat gonorrhoea with a number of antibiotics like doxycycline and cephalosporin. These drugs are to not to be shared with anyone else and it is important that a patient completes the entire course of treatment. Leaving the medical regime incomplete could lead to antibiotic resistance.
Although antibiotics are the most effective against this organism, a new cephalosporin-resistant strain of the bacterium has emerged. Since the discovery of this form of the bacterium, a number of governments have altered their antibiotic regimen.

In some cases a person may suffer from a chlamydia infection along with gonorrhoea, in such a case a doctor may prescribe medicines for both conditions at the same time. While being treated for gonorrhoea the regimen could vary from a single dose of antibiotics to a long term regimen.

Complications
Untreated gonorrhea can cause severe and sometimes life threatening complications in both men and women. In the case of women, they may develop a condition called PID or Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. This occurs when the infection travels to the uterus and Fallopian tubes. The symptoms usually include severe pain in the uterus and several complications like the formation of internal abscesses, this is an extremely complicated and difficult condition to treat. It causes the formation of pus filled abscess within the uterus. Another condition is chronic pelvic pain, a very painful condition that is again very difficult to cure. PID in itself also increases the chances of a woman’s Fallopian tubes being severely damaged, which increases the risk of having an ectopic pregnancy or possibly losing the ability to become a mother all together.

In men untreated gonorrhoea could lead to a condition called epididymitis, which is an infection of the tubes that connect the testis to the penis. This infection wreaks havoc within the man’s body and could lead to infertility.

Another very severe complication of this disease is that it can spread throughout the entire body through the blood into the joints, skin or heart. This condition is also known as DGI or Disseminated gonococcal infection and could be life threatening if not treated promptly.

Preventive measures
The best prevention a person can take is to use a condom while having sex. Research has proved that condoms are the best device when it comes to protection from sexually transmitted diseases. Another way would be, to avoid having sex with multiple partners and to avoid sexual contact with unknown partners.

A person who has been diagnosed with gonorrhea should inform all their sexual partners to get tested for the same. People who have had the disease should not engage in sexual activity till they have completed their antibiotic course and are completely free of the symptoms. If a person’sprescribed treatment consists of a single dose of antibiotics, he/she should ideally wait for at least seven days before engaging in sexual activities.

Lastly, gonorrhoea is a condition that has the potential to make a person more susceptible to HIV and AIDS. So remember, prevention is always better than cure.

Source: health.india

When it comes to Sex with EX, women are more nostalgic

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 09:05:17 GMT

The survey of 1,100 men and women found a total of 38 percent of women confessing to having the best sex of lives in a previous relationship. A study in Britain has found more women than men look back with longing on past relationships and admit to having had better sex with their ex than their current partner. The survey of 1,100 men and women by sex toy retailer Lovehoney found a total of 38 percent of women confessed having the best sex of lives in a previous relationship. However, just 29 percent of men said their best sex was with an ex, Daily Mail reported.

According to Sex expert Tracey Cox, the "grass is greener" sexual syndrome isn't new, as she says: "Women don't tend to marry the guy they had great sex with. They marry for more 'sensible' attributes - like whether he'll be loyal and a good father."'I get lots of emails from women saying they love their husbands but fantasise about sex with their exes. They don't regret not choosing them as long-term mates, but they do miss the great sex they had.'

Responses gathered from both the genders also revealed that sex gets better with age with just seven percent of both -- women and men -- naming their first love as their best lover. Casual sex was no match for 'committed love-making' with both men and women in agreeing that what makes the best sex is 'love' and 'passion'. Only four percent of the women and three percent of the men said their best sex was a one night stand and just one percent of both sexes described a holiday fling as their best sex. Where the responses differ in the poll are in the levels of sexual satisfaction with their current partners, as 62 percent women and 71 percent of men said that their best sex was with their current partner.

Source: haryanaabtak

Our Marriage: Relationship Q&A

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 14:29:46 GMT

A few months ago the girls over at Darling Companion asked me to share a little on relationships "and pass down some wisdom perhaps". I was immediately intimidated. That may seem a little silly to some- my husband and I have been married for 5 years- but the thing about relationships is that they are always growing and evolving, and you are always working at them. I don't think 5ohHubby and I have a perfect relationship- not by any means- but I do know that we try. So I told them I'd be happy to answer a few questions and share the things I have learned along the way. I thought it might be fun to repost it here.

How did you know you were ready to get engaged?
I think the "are we ready to get engaged" question is different for everyone. My husband and I were 22 and had been dating for a few months shy of a year and a half. We went to college in a town where neither of us was from and neither planned to live and my husband was about to graduate and move away. Cheesy as it sounds, when you find the person you want to be with for the rest of your life, you just know. Something I think that was different for us than for most people these days is instead of making sure we were established in our careers, owned a home, etc, we decided we wanted to build our lives together. Now, we didn't just on a whim get married and think "well, someone will take care of us!" -we had the ability to make money and pay for our own way in life- but we wanted to head toward our "dream lives" together. Looking back on things now we can see how we both worked together to build what we have, and for us, that is really special.

Do you have any strategies to increase communication?
Communication is one thing 5ohHubby and I have been blessed to be skilled at in our marriage. We decided from day one we would always talk about everything. We ask each other before bed or in the morning what the day ahead of the other will look like and when we get together at night we ask about how the day went. My husband usually tells me as much as he can about his work day with details about his personal reactions to things. Even when me and my daughter stay home all day I still tell him what we did, what we played with, or other things that happened in our family. The hard part (for every relationship) is when you need to talk about something important or uncomfortable or *gasp* have a fight. Yes, its true, married couples argue. But the trick is to always fight fair. This means that in every argument we have we don't accuse or fight to "win", we argue to understand a situation and come to a decision for the direction we will go together. An amazing tool, both for arguments and just to communicate your feelings about a situation to your significant other is this dialogue guide. It is centered around how you feel with out accusing the other of anything.You just start with a behavior that is affecting you in someway and share with the other person how this makes you feel and what you'd like to do about it. The trick is to let the first person go ALL the way around the wheel before the next person has their turn. For example you could start by saying "I notice you are on your phone a lot when we are together... I assume this means you are bored spending time with me...I wonder...." and so on. To be fair and totally honest, in the beginning this wheel was spoken through clenched teeth with tight grips, but by the end of things it always helped us work things out.

What surprised you most about marriage?
Honestly, I was surprised by how much work marriage can be. And I know everyone says that, so I'll get specific with you. First of all, I love love love being married. It is seriously so fun to be able to spend time with your best friend every day and share a life and grow a family together. BUT. No matter how good your relationship is, every day isn't sunshine and roses. There is work stress, family stress, medical stress, financial stress, stress of children and sometimes you're just not in a good mood. These can be things that last a day, a week, or even a few years. Relationships go in waves: there are valleys and peaks. Some days all I want is to spend time with my husband and laugh together and serve him... but some days things are just.. meh. The thing is, we made a commitment in front of God and our family to love and honor one another no matter what. And friends, love is a verb. For the times when it is hard for you to actively love your spouse I'd suggest The Love Dare by Alex Kendrick. It is great for actively loving your spouse regardless of the situation in your life.

Do you think having problems is a normal part of relationships?
If my last to answers haven't answered this question for you let me say "YES" I think problems are a normal part of relationships. However, I think what kind of problems and how you are handling them is very important. First of all, I think any abuse of any kind within your relationship is not ok in any way. If you are not married to the abuser then END THIS RELATIONSHIP. Immediately and without hesitation. If you are married to the abuser I would suggest talking with your pastor and a counselor about the proper and safest way to separate yourself from the situation.

Aside from abuse, I think it is important to realize that having problems isn't bad, its how you handle them that is important. My husband and I have had problems but we always are working toward resolving them. I truly believe (and it is biblical) that in your relationship, the order of who you care about is: God, spouse, everyone else, yourself. So if both people in your relationship are putting God first and the other person second, you should be trying to work things out for the other person's benefit. Its great to know that I have someone who always is looking out for my best interest and I'm sure my husband feels the same.

Do you have any advice about gaining trust in a relationship once it's been broken?
This is something that I really struggle with, as someone who has had broken trust in every relationship I've had since I was a little girl- sometimes it's been my fault and sometimes it's been others. I would say, first and foremost, regardless of the situation true repentance and forgiveness is an absolute must. Saying sorry is just empty words unless there is action behind it. "I'm sorry about X situation, I behaved in X way and am sorry that I hurt you. I am willing to do X action in order to gain back your trust slowly. I realize YOU are the one who will determine when trust has been reestablished. " I know that if I broke 5ohHubby's trust there is nothing he could ask me to do to gain it back that I wouldn't be willing to do (and obviously I know he has my best interest at heart and would never do something to humiliate me or gain revenge). An excellent and Godly example of true repentance and forgiveness can be found on Jami Nato's blog

What advice would you give to younger girls about dating/courting?
I would say first and foremost you need to respect yourself if you want respect from your man. This means sexual purity, not pretending to be ok with things you are not ok with, and being true to yourself. Secondly, I would remind you that anytime you are dating/courting that other person is on their best behavior. This is them trying to make a good impression on you. Do not think "oh, I can change him" or "Once we are married, surely he won't (fill in the blank)". You can't and he will. When I asked my husband how he knew he wanted to marry me (years ago) expecting something lovey dovey and romantic sentiment, he really shocked me. He told me "I thought about the most difficult day we had had together... and I thought if every day for the rest of our lives is that day would I still want to be with her as opposed to without her". Obviously, every day has not been the worst day.. but I think that's a really great perspective. If things were at their toughest, would you still be with this person. And finally, I would say that I would only date someone I had the intention of marrying. I would know what my list of non-negotiables was, ASK THEM what they think, and if it wasn't in line then we would just be friends. For me, my non-negotiables were that we were of the same faith, that we both wanted children, that we agreed on how we would raise them. An example of negotiables, for me, was where we would live and what we would do for a living. Just know what you want and don't settle for anything less.

Source: writtenonherheart

10 Turn-offs women commit!

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 16:31:26 GMT

We ladies like to do a lot to turn on our men, from (painful) bikini wax, to getting in shape to taking hours to dress up ‘perfectly’. All are ways to turn-on our guys but there are many things we do sub-consciously that can turn them down.

Here is a small list:

1. Yes, you deserve to be in a relationship but please don’t tell the world how desperate you are! Guys come to know this desperation and know that you’ll settle for less than you deserve. Even those womanizers come to know all that a girl wants is to get married. This isn’t the right image girlies!

2. You’ve proposed to every guy you dated? Was it because you thought he could be The One?

3. You can’t stop bitching. Trashing people is very easy, it takes a woman of stronger character not to judge people.

4. You start smothering your guy. You hate when he hangs out with his friends, family, or office people. Lets just say you are jealous of everyone in his life. No guy wants to date his mom! Give him some space; the ‘me’ time is essential for both him and you.

5. You can’t stop nagging. Do you love nagging your guy? Stop immediately. Constant nagging hugely turns off men.

6. Your weight! OMG! The constant complaining about your weight gain. Your clothes not fitting, your paunch, the calories you consumed.. can kill a guy. Men hate discussing weight. Period.

7. Being too ‘easy’. Most guys know what a female wants. We should behave a bit mysteriously. Stop sharing everything and anything with the guy. Guys shouldn’t need to play detective but being easy is so not happening.

8. The dumb lass. Guys don’t want a dumb female. No guy digs on a girl who acts like a bimbette! Have some self-respect and behave intelligently!

9. Never discuss exes with your man. No guy needs details of why your exes was a unfair to you! You are with your new one know, why discuss pass and make things uncomfortable? Are you not over him?

10. Incessant shopping, women, a date is a date. Shopping or meeting in the mall as you blindly go about shopping can irritate any man on the face of this earth!

Source: allaboutwomen

7 Sneaky Ways to Win an Argument With Your Husband

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 10:15:55 GMT

It's another Monday night, and you're just getting home. Your kids are whining about something, dinner has to be made, and your husband is doing that thing that always pisses you off. So you start arguing with each other. Wouldn't you love to learn how to win that argument for once? And quickly?

A recent article in The New York Times revealed some surprising negotiating tactics that can help you win. And by "win" I mean win-win, for both of you. (You knew that, right?) Because hopefully your ultimate goal as a couple is peace, love, and understanding. So get out your cushions, couples -- I'm not kidding.

1. Watch out for transitions. Researchers say the biggest fights happen when family members are either saying hello or goodbye: When you're trying to get the kids off to school, when you're coming home from work, when you're trying to get the kids off to bed. The worst time is between 6:00 to 8:00 p.m. So be aware of that, and if you find yourself getting testy during a transition, bite your tongue and save that argument for a better time.

2. Sit at the same level. Weird, but true -- the levels where you sit or stand can influence your argument. If you're both at the same level, you're more likely to deal with each other as equals.

3. Get comfy. Another weird one -- people are more flexible during an argument or discussion if they're sitting in soft chairs or sofas than when they're sitting on hard chairs.

4. Set a timer. Apparently people make the most important points in their opening statements. After that, people end up just repeating themselves and yelling. So it actually helps to set a time limit (make sure each person gets equal time). If you haven't reached an agreement, call a time-out and take a five-minute break before getting back together again.

These tips were all new to me. Here's a couple more that I've tried and found worked pretty well.

5. Make gentle physical contact. If you haven't reached the boiling point, sometimes holding hands or even touching toes can help you feel connected even if you're not seeing eye to eye at the moment.

6. Don't use his talking time to prep your arguments. When he's explaining his side of things, do you ever find yourself tuning him out and planning what you'll say next? You really need to stop and hear your partner. Pause after he finishes talking if you need time to think about your response.

7. Stop what you're doing. This is no time to multitask. If you and your husband have something important to discuss, you both need to give it your full attention. Don't fold laundry and argue at the same time. Even if you think you can still listen, it gives the message that your relationship and the conflict aren't worth your full attention -- and it makes your spouse feel like you're not listening.

Here's some more important tips for arguing to win: "5 Ways to End a Fight," "10 Ways to Stop Fighting Before It Gets Really Ugly," "5 Most Common Relationship Fights."

Source: thestir.cafemom

5 Relationship Mistakes That Could Be A Good Thing

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 10:02:16 GMT

Here they are: the things you shouldn't do in a relationship but you end up doing anyway -- sometimes with unexpectedly romantic results.

So-Called Mistake #1: You Drop The Love Bomb
Oh, God... you had the weird dark beer (with the hugely high yet unmarked alcohol content), or the two of you spent the night together for the first time (and it not only wasn't awkward, it was almost spiritual), or you witnessed him save the life of a puppy by diving into the street just before a speeding car barreled by, or -- and this is by far the best-case scenario -- you looked across the table at him just as his eggs fell off his fork and onto his lap and felt as if this particular guy might just be the goofiest, funniest, most-perfect-man-for-you-ever. At which point you thought, "Why not just say it? I'm a grown-up," and the words "I love you" came out of your mouth. On date three.

Or some other timeframe officially known as "way, way too early."
The odds are, the guy is not going to say it back. (This is a good thing; you two really don't know each other yet.) So... you're going to have sit through one of the longest silences in your life, one in which you will be able to hear the sound of cells dividing and molecules moving through space. He may eventually stammer, "Thanks?" or pretend it never happened. But the gulp-inducing truth is out. If he flees in terror, there is an upside: You will not have to waste a lot of time with somebody who is afraid of commitment. That kind of individual will be out of there, but he was always out of there, and you just saved yourself the heartache of trying to convince him otherwise. For the undecided but interested guy, the one who likes you right now but is a bit overwhelmed at your revelation, things might be a little weird. But you have set an admirable precedent for the relationship, one that is exceptionally helpful on month three or year three: honesty above all else.

So-Called Mistake #2: You Continually, Endlessly, Can't-Help-Yourselfly Do More Than Your 50 Percent
Just about every expert in the world warns against this -- with good reason. If you're finding the new house, arranging the mortgage, supervising the movers, picking out all the furniture and installing it (before he comes home; he gets so tired on Fridays), you're doing too much. You're not only going to be mad, you're also going to do humiliating things to your own self like scream at him in the middle of the Ikea cafeteria or run over his Sunday newspaper with the lawn mower and pretend the teenager next door did it.

That is... unless your partner is also continually, endlessly, can't-help-himselfly doing more than his 50 percent. This is an idea, I know, that at first sounds preposterous. But it's one that can change both of your notions of love: He does too much for you; you do too much for him; and thus the two of you are knocking yourselves out while simultaneously being supported and replenished. Afterward, of course, the two of you can write a best-selling book together called The End of Resentment.

So-Called Mistake #3: You Keep A Big Ugly Secret (For A While)
Big ugly secrets, in love, are no-no's. Except when that big ugly secret may, if given some time, shrivel down into a small, more understandable secret that you eventually reveal. For example, it's probably helpful to your relationship if you hold off until you're already happily married (and maybe have a few kids) to tell your husband that way back in time, when he was your fiancé and you were nervous about marriage, you booked a Greyhound ticket to anywhere, just in case you fled the altar at the last minute. I'm not saying lying is okay, or that even omitting the truth is okay. I'm saying waiting is okay, because giving yourself some time to evaluate the magnitude -- or triviality -- of an issue is also an opportunity to understand what you really want.

So-Called Mistake #4: You Yell At Him Using An "Always" Or A "Never"
Relationship-saving professionals everywhere agree. When you're mad, you shouldn't say "always" or "never" to your other half. In many cases, this is excellent advice. He doesn't always ignore you in front of his mother (at least once or twice he has had to look at you in her presence), and it's not possible for you to have never ever listened to him when he was talking about the importance of air fresheners (words make it down the ear canal, even words like "pine-scented"). "Always" and "never" tend to exaggerate the complaint you're describing, both making your partner feel horrible and discrediting you in the process.

However, there is one set of circumstances when "always" and "never" have a place. This is when they are true. Let's say my husband and I are whisper-bickering, which is what we do if we happened to disagree between 8:30 p.m. and 8:50 p.m., when the kids are pretending to try to fall asleep. If the issue is cookies-back-in-the-drawer, it is perfectly fine for me to say, "You always leave the cookies out!" Because my husband always, always leaves the cookies out, so that they get dry and stale and are unusable for lunches for the rest of the week. My point: Housework is not part of the always-never rule. It's one of those things that people approach with compulsive regularity or compulsive refusal. You can nail your partner on these points! You can slam-dunk him and be totally, eternally right -- while he is totally, eternally wrong! This is really helpful for a relationship, because you (and you alone) will feel like the All-Mighty Lord of the Universe... for about five seconds, until he slam-dunks you back with a comment like "You never clean out the car." At which point you can either laugh cutely, hoping that charm will get you out of this mess -- or you and he can sit down and talk about how to divide the household drudgery so that neither of you feels as if the other is always never doing anything to help.

So-Called Mistake #5: You Go On The Overambitious Vacation
The overambitious vacation is #17 on the list of the world's fastest ways to break up (yes, this list does exist, but it's stored in a secret bank vault, the one mentioned in Harry Potter guarded by goblins). Nothing kills love more quickly and effectively than a 10-day sprint through Central America to visit every single Mayan pyramid, with stops to throw up from a parasite, pass out from heat exhaustion, and sleep in the dirt while being relentlessly attacked by mosquitos because your jeep broke down in the jungle, the jeep that every goddamn person in the village told you not rent -- but you took anyway, because it was 15 dollars cheaper.

Except, that is, when the exact same 10 days kindles passion, riveting stories and a lot of laughs. What transforms a trip into the latter, I believe (and I speak from a lot of experience, including: Mexico in July, Ecuador during a kerosene riot, camping with a 4-week-old newborn), is whether or not the two of you are able to recognize that you chose this trip. You could be at work. You could in a line for carpool. But instead you decided to do something extraordinary. Be it extraordinarily wonderful or disastrous, you didn't settle for a mother-in-law's condo. Lots of things in life are overambitious and unforgettable due their deviation from the so-called norm. One of the most rewarding, of course, is love.

Source: huffingtonpost

The Best Hot Russian Brides Dating Tips

Wed, 03 Apr 2013 09:07:56 GMT

If you're serious in your search for a Hot Russian bride here are 5 of the most important points that will help in your searches and probably save you alot of heartache and money. 1. The most important point to always remember is that NO Russian women will Ever ask you for money. What ever her situation is in life she will not ever ask a total stranger for money, just like anyother women in the worl Russian women have pride in themselfs. If a women ever asks you to send her money you can be 100% sure it is a scam and you will loose that money. This is the biggest and most important warning to you.

2. Never fall in love with the first hot Russian bride you start communicating with and certainly dont start suggesting she come visit you the next week. She's a human too, and may be offended you thinking she is so desperate to jump on a plane and meet with a complete stranger in a strange country. Take your time to get to know her, it is impossible to meet someone over the net and after just a few short words decide it is time to meet, however beautifull she maybe.

3. Although it is a good idea to get to know your women well before you plan your first meeting, you must also be carefull not to stretch the time out to long. Some men have been known to stretch it out aslong as two years before they finally meet, this is way to long and a women can soon loose interest. If you genuinley think there is common ground between you and chemistry , then you should try to meet within a 3/4 month time scale. An important factor to remmember here is all these Russian women are communicating with many men and keeping all options open. this is perfectly normal as with any other women in mainstream dating.

4. A good idea before you even sign up to a Russian dating site, is to do some research into Russia,Ukraine and all of Eastern Europe, try to learn a little about their culture as it is very different to Western Europe or USA. if you can learn even some simple Russian words it will go a long way to show how keen you are to get it right. If you show her you have taken a genuine interest in her country it will go a huge way towards bringing you together with some common ground.

5. When you sign up to a hot Russian brides dating site you need to do all possible to maximize your chances of attracting a Russian women. one of the best ways to do this is to upload a selection of good quality photos and be sure they are recent. Put yourself in the womens place, would you write or even communicate with a guy who has no photos? It is also important to write to as many women as possible in the first few weeks, and dont just stick to all the ones that look like they have just walked off the catwalk.

Source: articlesbase