If a Conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat. If a Liberal is, they want to ban all meat products for everyone.

If a Conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy. A Liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

If a Conservative is homosexual, he quietly enjoys life. If a Liberal is homosexual, they loudly demand legislated respect.

If a Conservative is a minority , he sees himself as independently successful. Their Liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.

If a Conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. A Liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a Conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels. Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.

If a Conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church. A Liberal wants all churches to be silenced.

If a Conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it. A Liberal demands that his neighbors pay for his.

If a Conservative disagrees with a Liberal president, he is called a racist. When a Liberal disagrees with a Conservative president, it’s patriotic dissent.

If a Conservative expresses his political view, he is called an idiot. A Liberal expressing his political views is expressing his right to Freedom of Speech.

Welfare: yes. Contrary to some belief, liberals don’t want to give money away for nothing. I think government should give every opportunity for someone to get trained, find a job, and receive some support while they’re doing that. If they refuse to work or succumb to illegal drugs or alcoholism, then bye bye benefits. (Though that’s easier said than done in an economy with 10% unemployment.)

Disarm (I assume you mean with nukes.) I think we should take the lead and lead by some example and some reduction, but it’s of course terribly foolish to go down to zero without iron clad guarantees and proof that others are doing the same. We have far more nukes than we need to mount an effective defense or deterrence, so I consider there to be some reduction wiggle room here.