“Things are seldom what they seem.”

If you can tell from the picture, that is the title of the book I recently used to make a cover for my Kindle. I selected the title for the sheer irony of what is now inside the cover;  an old book on the outside, with electronic ‘paper’ on the inside.

This got me thinking about a couple of scripture passages:

Proverbs 14:12 There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death.

Proverbs 12:15 The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.

Often times we look at things that happen to us and label them as being good or bad based on how we perceive that they affected our lives. We get a job promotion and we call it ‘good’, or we get into a fender-bender and we call it ‘bad’; however things are seldom what they seem.

We tend to apply similar logic to making decisions. We try to look ahead and make the determination as to whether the decision is a good one based on how it will affect us in what we would consider a good way. For example, we get a promotion and we see it as a good thing. After all, who doesn’t want to have better pay and climb up the proverbial corporate ladder? Or we fudge our taxes because it will benefit us and the government doesn’t really need all the money they are taking from me. Perhaps this one is closer to home; you enter into a physical relationship with your significant other because you are ‘in love’.

Any one of these can seem to be, and perhaps might be ‘right’. However, it underscores the need for counsel in every area of our lives. Taking a promotion might be good for your career, but will it take you away from your family (if you are married). Fudging your taxes might get you a tax refund, but will it destroy your testimony when you get audited. Having physical relations with the significant other that you love may feel good and bring you closer, but is it what God expects of you?

All of these have potentially unforeseen consequences. Not only having, but listening to Godly counsel is imperative. I know there was a time in my life when I grudgingly listened to advice from my parents regarding someone I was dating, which ended up saving me a lot of heartache (and probably money) down the road. If I hadn’t listened to them I probably would have married the person, but I would also most likely be divorced as well.

My advice is then to make sure that you find Godly counsel and avail yourself of it. Godly counsel will help you to see things for what they are, rather than what they seem.

Guys try so hard to make porn out to be nothing more than admiring the female form, but what most guys don’t realize is that when a man sees a woman naked, even if there is no outward arousal (erection), a chemical is released in the brain, and a guy can over time become addicted to the euphoria that the chemical creates.

So pornography becomes addicting!  That is a huge problem!  The other big issue with porn is that it is almost always used for masturbation, which further gets into the addiction issue.

Now is the part of the discussion where we have to talk open and honest!

When you use pornography while masturbating to reach your climax (orgasm), it is going to take more images the next time to reach the same sexual high.  Then the time after that it will take even harder porn, until you are looking at hardcore porn just to reach that same feeling that you used to get when you were just looking at pictures of nude women.

One of the first questions that I ask a young man who comes to me for help with pornography is, “What are you looking at”, meaning, How hardcore is the porn that you are looking at?  That gives me an idea of how far down the road that you are.

If you are trapped in the clutches of pornography and you are needing a way out, talk to your youth pastor.  You might think that you can’t talk to him about “that issue” but I can guarantee you that he would be more than willing to talk to you about the issue.  Most all youth pastors/leaders do what they do because they truly care and love YOU!

Don’t let yourself get 20 or 30 years down the road and find that you are addicted to pornography and have no way out!  There are a lot of great tools to help you keep accountable!  You just have to be willing to use them.

The biggest thing that you need to know is that you are not the only one that is struggling with this issue!  You are not the only christian young man who has given into this desire.  Don’t be afraid to speak up and talk to your parents, Pastor, Youth Pastor or Coach, and if you feel like you need to talk to someone who doesn’t know you, then contact us, either by email or by using the chat button in the bottom right hand corner of the screen!

DC Talk is not the only ones that worry about stumbling!  You are probably reading this because you are either worried about stumbling or you have already fallen and you are looking for some sign that there is still hope for your journey!

Isaiah 40:30-31 says “Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

The second half of this verse is always used to encourage people who are tired, or spiritually weak to keep pushing on, but there is an amazing first part that is almost never read, but the truth that is spoken is no less amazing!  “Even youths [that’s you and I] grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall [emphasis mine].   How amazing is it that even as far back as the book if Isaiah, does the Bible acknowledge that we will stumble, we will fall!

The hardest lesson that we have to learn is that in the pursuit of purity, you will have times when you fall back into those old ways!  In every accountability relationship that I have ever been in, there comes a season where the mentee (the guy that I am mentoring / holding accountable) wants to give up because they “don’t see any progress”.  They are allowing themselves to buy into the lie of the devil that says something like, “you are not good enough”, “look you messed up today”, or “you are still having those thoughts, you’re not changed”.

You are going to struggle, you are going to have days when the “flesh is weak”!  The amazing thing is that we serve a God who is able to do “exceedingly and abundantly more than we can ever ask or think” (Eph 3:20)

The Pursuit of purity is a journey, not a sprint!  The process of changing your mind and methods, your habits and heart is a life long process.  If you are struggling with pornography, masturbation, homosexuality, or are abusing sexual relationships, you didn’t get that way overnight, you didn’t just wake up one morning and say, “I think that I am going to become addicted to sex today”, it was a slow process that began with just one step followed by a continual decline, until you are where you are today!  In like manner, being a man of integrity is going to be a journey that starts today with just one step, followed by a continual walk toward Christlikeness!

Graduation is quickly approaching and already in the air are statements like  “Dad… I’m 18! I’m an adult now! I can make my own decisions!”

Just like every other guy at the cusp of adulthood, I also said these words more often then I care to admit, but looking back on my life now that I am a few years down the road, I can see that while the statement was absolutely true! I was in fact an adult, what I lacked was the life experience that comes with adulthood!

Can you make it on your own?

Absolutely you can make it on your own, many people have, the problem is not in the ability to achieve the goal, the problem is in the how of accomplishing the goal! At 18, the ability lies within you, but the journey is potentially much more difficult because you lack the life experience that goes along with the choices that you are faced with day to day. When your parents are saying “You” are not ready to be on your own, or they are still trying to “tell you what to do”. It is because they have been down the road already and have probably fallen in a few pit holes along the way!

Being an adult is more than physically turning 18, it’s about making decisions and living with the consequences!

Time after time when I am talking with a guy, they are already well past the point in the situation where the consequences of their actions are starting to unfold. Then they begin to understand that all choices have consequences, some are positive and some are negative.

It’s great to say, I am an adult and if I choose to have sex, that’s up to me! While again, that statement is true, it is up to you, the consequences of living a promiscuous (having more than one sexual partner) life are long lasting. Just ask the guy who is living with some STD, or the 17 year old daddy who is trying to do the right thing by raising his baby after the mom bailed.

There is so much more to being an adult than just turning 18 or 21, take time to continue to learn from your parents wisdom, ask your college pastor to share some of his/her more difficult transitions into adulthood.

One of the greatest resources that I have found on the transition from being a teen, to becoming an adult is a book that I read when I was 18, the book is called “Life on the Edge” by Dr. James Dobson. If you haven’t read it, you should pick up a copy and give it a read.

Every day when we get up in the morning we go through the motions of getting ourselves ready, we take our shower, brush our teeth (I hope), and we choose the clothes that we are going to put on for that day! When we choose the clothes that we are going to put on, there is a lot that goes in to that choice for many of us…

• What image do we want to portray?
• Do I want to dress down, up, flashy, classy, hipster
• Do I want to attract the opposite sex or repel them!

Unfortunately, we don’t spend the same amount of time thinking about what we look like to the rest of the world when we put on Christ! We put on the label of Christian without really thinking through what that is going to look like to the rest of the world as we go through our regular day!

The world already thinks that we are Holier-than-thou, and hypocrites, then we go out having put on the label of Christian but continue to live as the world lives! We attend movies that have graphic sexual situations, or make light of sexual identity, we hang out at bars, we hit the clubs on the weekend, drinking and partying without any reservation as to who we are as men of God! No wonder Christians are the ridicule of the world!

Romans 12:2 “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Now I am not saying that when we become a Christian we no longer get to have “fun”, We can have fun, we can have friends, we can have a life, we just redefine what that fun looks like! We have to have a changing of the way that we think when we put on Christ! We are in this world but we are not of this world! (John 15:19). Have you truly allowed God to change your heart, when you look at where you are today versus where you were before you came to Christ! There may be a confession, but has there been heart change!

If you find yourself thinking that maybe there was not a heart change, stop and ask God to start the process right now!

Know that when you walk out your front door you are an ambassador for the Most High God! People judge Christ, based on what he looks like in you!

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From the creators of Fireproof comes an inspiring new story about everyday heroes who long to be the kinds of dads that make a lifelong impact on their children. As law enforcement officers, Adam Mitchell, Nathan Hayes, and their partners willingly stand up to the worst the world can offer. Yet at the end of the day, they face a challenge that none of them are truly prepared to tackle: fatherhood. While they consistently give their best on the job, good enough seems to be all they can muster as dads. But they’re quickly discovering that their standard is missing the mark.

They know that God desires to turn the hearts of fathers to their children, but their children are beginning to drift farther and farther away from them. Will they be able to find a way to serve and protect those who are most dear to them? When tragedy hits home, these men are left wrestling with their hopes, their fears, their faith, and their fathering. Can a newfound urgency help these dads draw closer to God . . . and to their children?

Work description
Responsible for daily posts/tweets to all applicable social media outlets.  Other duties include coordinating the marketing calendar with online activity, tracking social media influence measurements, partnering with other areas of the ministry to ensure proper online messaging and relevance, ensuring consistency of messages across multiple networks, submitting reports to ministry leaders on usage statistics, and continuous monitoring and coverage of all sites.

Duties can include but are not limited to: 

• Create and maintain a social networking posting schedule that includes but not limited to, New and previous website articles, humor, job openings, fundraising requests, quotes.
• Monitor fan/follower comments and respond appropriately.
• Submit a monthly stats report, including but not limited to # of new fans/followers, # of engagements, # of conversions to the website.
• Continuing education on social media strategies
• Being available in the rotation for Live Coach to be available to guys when needed.

Expectations

• Be a man of prayer and scriptural discipline.  Daily time in the word (the Bible) and prayer is essential to keep ones self focused on God.
• Be logging into the site/social network on a regular basis (daily, every other day) to check in, and monitor the progress of the network.
• Be continually educating yourself in social networking and Christian living through training by various means (podcast, webcast, webinar, or self-directed web-based training or any other method used)
• Be men of integrity and to have no outside contact with the fans/followers unless first obtaining pre-authorization form from the administration of the site.  This would include but not be limited to person to person email, Instant messaging, or face to face meetings.  If there is an emergency the volunteer is expected to contact the appropriate authorities as well as the administration of the site since contact originated at christianguys.org.

Requirements:

Skills and Abilities

• Strong project management or organisational skills
• In-depth knowledge and understanding of social media platforms and their respective participants (Facebook, Digg, Youtube, Twitter, Flickr etc.) and how they can be deployed in different scenarios
• Ability to effectively communicate information and ideas in written and verbal format, and build and maintain relationships
• Good technical understanding and can pick up new tools quickly

This position would be a great volunteer spot for someone looking into a career in Social Media or IT.

Contact
Mike Gonzalez
Christian Guys Ministries
PO Box 576
Willard, MO 65781
Email: mgonzalez@christianguys.org

God why am I in the situation that I am in?  God why am I always broke?  God why are all my relationship failing?

There are all kinds of Why questions in our life!  We all have them, Christian or not!  We all ask Why? at some point in life!  In the movie “Facing the Giants” a story is told “about two farmers who desperately needed rain.  And both of them prayed for rain, but only one of them went out and prepared his fields to receive it. Which one do you think trusted God to send the rain? The one who prepared his fields for it!  God will send the rain when he’s ready.  You need to prepare your field to receive it.”

We spend so much time praying and begging God for the answer to our problems, waiting for Him to come down and magically fix all the issues in our lives!  The problem is that we have not done the work to prepare our hearts or minds to receive what God wants to do in and through us!

• What could God do through you… if you didn’t care what people thought of you?
• What could God do through you… if you didn’t spend time filling your mind with the things of this world?
• What could God do in you… if you spent more than just a couple of minutes, but real-time in His Word on a daily basis?
• What could God do in you… if you spent as much time talking to Him as you do texting or talking on your phone?

Preparing your heart and mind for the flood that God wants to pour through you takes effort, just like anything else in this world!  You have to decide what type of Christian Man you are going to be, are you going to be the Christian who sits on the sidelines wondering why God doesn’t work through you the way that he works through other Christian men that you see, or are you going to be the Christian Man who works the field, even through you don’t see what the result is going to be, but you continue to press on toward the Goal (Phil 3:13-14).

So… the only question you really have to ask yourself is “Which one are you?”

“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. ¹³ Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. ¹⁵ Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you.¹⁶ Only let us hold true to what we have attained.” Phil 3:12-16

Christian Guys Ministries is pleased to announce a new section of our site!  After six years of ministry to young adults & college age guys, we are launching an entirely new section of our ministry focused directly at the Christian Teen!  Teens today face a completely different set of challenges than their fathers did, just a generation prior!

Christian Guys Ministries has never shrunk in its willingness to discuss any topic, regardless of subject or details!  In like fashion, we will be answering questions from our site, “live chatting” with guys and making available information necessary for every teen guy to become the man that God has called them to be!

We will talk openly and honest about the male anatomy, answering question about sexual development, nocturnal emissions (Wet Dreams), erections,  Contraception & STDs, Girls, Homosexuality, Lust, Masturbation, Pornography, Puberty, Sex, Sexual Addiction & Virginity!

We pray that we become the place for Christian Teen Guys to come and get appropriate answers to some of life’s most difficult questions!

You have spent your traditional 30 minutes at the neighborhood convenience store mulling over the plethora of amazing gifts to give to those you love this holiday season, all the while, mumbling to yourself, “why do we even give presents, they know I love them without all this rigmarole.”  Now whether this is your or not, there is a bit of history to gift giving, especially around the holidays.  Part of being a great guy is “knowing stuff” so as part of our “Christmas” posts, we are going to take a quick look at gift giving through history!  I bet there is at least one bit of history that you will find interesting!

Tradition says that it started back when the three wise guys (men) came from the east, bearing gifts of Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh to honor the baby Jesus, the King of Kings. Traveling many miles and dealing with King Herrod, but the tradition of giving gifts at this time of the year started even before that. The Romans gave gifts in celebration of the winter solstice festival of Saturnalia. They believe that the gift of giving would bring them good fortune next year.

When paganism was replaced by Christianity in Rome, the two holidays merged. The gifts that were once given at Saturnalia were now given at Christmas. The same “give and you shall receive” message remained and when the Roman Empire expanded, the tradition followed throughout its Empire.

The tradition of Santa Claus giving gifts to children came around the fourth century. It started with St. Nicolas, a loved and respected priest, who was traveling through Asia Minor at that time. During his travels, he gave presents to poor children.

In the tenth century, King Wenceslas further added to the tradition. Rather than receiving gifts from his people, he started giving food and clothing to the poor in his kingdom.

The Puritans, who believed that Christmas was a worldly tradition not worth celebrating, had the celebration of Christmas ban here until the 1800′s. However, once the holiday finally took off in the United States it really took off. The average American spends over $1,000 on Christmas gifts each year, and with all the commercial aspects that have been put on Christmas, it is easy to forget the meaning and the message of those who started the tradition in the first place. Giving gifts has a long time honored history. It is better to give than to receive.

Acts 20:35 “In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”

Do you have a response to today’s post?  Why not write it down and send it to us!  We would love to post it!