Change of Heart Stress Solutions

Attuning Your Antennae to Inspiration

2012-02-10T06:00:00.001-08:00

Image courtesy of Craig Hauger.

Do you remember how the antennae on My Favourite Martian's head would rise up and lock in on a signal?

What if your antennae could lock in on inspiration, ensuring that you'll always have a topic for a post?

Inspiration is all around - gifts from the people you speak with, the programs you watch, the tweets you read, the music you hear, the nature you enjoy.

One of the best way to attune your attennae is to undress your stress. Stress is the great distractor - your thoughts get hijacked and your focus shifts to the things that are stressing you. Looping thoughts may keep you awake at night. Too many sleepless, restless nights and you may miss the fluttering wings of inspiration.

Where have you found inspiration? When is it more noticeable?

Suffering and Significance

2012-02-03T06:00:00.001-08:00

On Quicksand of Feelings, I talked about how discouraged and frustrated I was about the low visitor count to A Rheumful of Tips - my year-long blogging project where I provide tips that have helped me move through thirty-four years of living life with rheumatoid arthritis.

I was suffering, because of the significance I attached to that blog. You can blame it partly on the ego ("I should be further along by now." "So and so's blog has X number of visitors and commenters.") and partly on falling into old patterns of behaviour (Comparatitis - measuring myself against others and falling short. Not keeping the porthole of perception as streak-free as I could).

Image courtesy of Katherine Halliburton.

Things have significantly turned around. My readership has gone up, but not drastically. I still write those posts and publish them on a daily basis. The biggest change, however, is how I view that blog. I transformed my stress (soaking in negative thoughts and emotions trigger the stress response), and changed my perception, which provided me a better view.

When you practise techniques that smooth out your heart rate variability (HRV), your perception changes - gently and without a great deal of effort. That has made all the difference to me.

Writing for A Rheumful of Tips is no longer an onerous task; in fact, when I once thought I wouldn't have enough material for 365 tips, I now have ideas hitching rides on the backs of other ideas. I'm in the flow and since I love to swim, it's a great place to be!

How about you? Is it time to clean your porthole of perception? Can you recall an example where a perception change has made a difference in your life?

Related posts:

Black Arm Band

2012-01-27T06:00:00.000-08:00

Image: S. Braswell

Over the centuries, grieving customs have changed. It seems that along with the speeding up of everything else, we are expected to also do our grieving at warp speed.

The black armband, once de rigeur as a sign of mourning, is vanishing. It can still be seen on the arms of some Irish, German, Austrian and northern and central European Catholic groups.

As restrictive as some of the rules regarding mourning were, they at least allowed others to have an understanding of how the mourner was feeling and presumably, would cut them a bit of slack.

Have there been times in your life when you have not been at your best? Perhaps someone had recently died, or was critically ill and you were focusing on this rather than what you were doing. As a result, you may have been less than present and done or said something that others may have found heedless or heartless. However, if they had known your circumstances, which you probably wouldn't share with strangers, they may have chosen to show you some compassion.

Life is made of ups and downs. There are times when a series of downs seem to be strung together like so many burnt-out Christmas lights. When these events hit, performance is affected. Perhaps more mistakes are made, you have less patience or your temper is shorter.

When you have good emotional management techniques in your repertoire of daily living skills, they allow you to better handle not only the downs in your life, but the ups, as well. These skills help to keep you afloat in the ocean of life, where sometimes you are in the trough, other times you are on the crest of the wave or somewhere in between.

When you learn these techniques, you not only learn to undress your stress, but you also learn to augment your performance, for those times when you don't have any stress. Think of it as accruing interest - building resilience. That's something you can Bank on!

What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do

2012-01-20T06:00:00.000-08:00

Image: Michel Meynsbrughen

Something unpleasant, unfortunate or horrific happens - an accident, a dire diagnosis, job loss or even a death of a friend or family member.

You feel awful, but rather than express it, you say and do nothing. One reason for your silence may be that you feel uncomfortable and just don't know what to say. Perhaps the situation has stressed you so much that it has caused cortical inhibition, freezing up your ability to adequately express how you feel.

How do you get around this?

Here are a few ideas for you to consider:

A simple "I'm sorry," or "I'm sorry for your loss/pain/or whatever words fit."
A hug.
A touch on the arm.
A card.
Ask some leading questions and be prepared to just listen. The person may need to talk, cry, scream.
Offer to do something practical - pick up some groceries, vacuum, share a meal.
Balance your nervous system - start from a position of compassion.
"Flashlight" the situation. When you turn on a flashlight, you typically look at where you focus the beam of light, not at your hand holding the flashlight. Put the focus on the other person, not on how awkward you may feel. This shift alone will do wonders - for both of you!

Your Body Speaks

2012-01-13T06:00:00.000-08:00

This week began with a "Pop!" - and not in a good way, either! You can read about my misadventure on Not How I Planned to Spend My Monday.

I've been thinking (and chuckling) about how my arm shot straight up in the air just as the doctor was beginning to put my hip back into the socket with the Captain Morgan Technique (if you're squeamish, you may not want to view this video).

A raised arm, palm-outward hand is the Stop command I use with Holly. A dislocated hip is excruciatingly painful. If I wasn't yet fully sedated, it stands to reason that even though I couldn't speak, my body would go ahead and do it for me. I believe that by raising my hand, I was signalling that I wanted the doctor to stop.

I also think that this action epitomizes what a habit is. The unconscious performance of a behaviour. It's been practised so often that the body remembers what to do - consider it muscle memory. Think about riding a bicycle, swimming, driving a car; even simple activities such as brushing your teeth or tying your shoelaces. You perform all those actions without thought. In fact, you can do them while doing something else.

I also see this habit formation when I work with clients. When under stress, breathing becomes shallow. Repeat this often enough and this becomes the normal way to breathe. Instead of breathing using the diaphragm, they are using the muscles of the neck and chest. If you have tight shoulders and neck muscles, check how you are breathing. More importantly, learn some powerful stress undressing techniques and get back to breathing naturally, not normally. (You may like: Change the Channel; Tree of Life.)

Here are some questions for you to consider:

What is your body saying that you are unable to say? How?
Are there some habits that you wish to develop that you have not yet repeated often enough?
Which unwanted habits need reframing? Do you have strategies in place to fill the void of the unwanted habit?

About Dog Training, Stress and Me

2012-01-06T06:00:00.000-08:00

Holly, our high-spirited, rambunctious rescued dog has been with us for a little over two years.

Although nothing can be confirmed, I suspect that she was mistreated. When she moved in, she:

didn't know any commands
wasn't house-trained
was afraid of men
didn't look at me
lacked muscle definition
was likely muzzled a great deal of time, judging by the funny imprints along her nose.

We've come a long way together. However, every so often, I have to go back to basic training with her. After all, she is a highly intelligent and stubborn girl, which is a challenging combination! :)

Call it what you like - back to basics, a refresher, habit reinforcement - it seems it's a vital practise for beings - both canine and human.

It's funny how a series of events can lead you astray and stop you from doing the very things that help you move through the agility course that is life.

What things have you stopped doing that allow you to live your life well?

I had a pretty rough start to December. I realized that I wasn't doing my stress techniques nearly enough. (They don't take a lot of time, if that is of concern to you.) As a result, my perception of daily events had shifted, much like some out-of-focus image in a kaleidoscope. I've written partially about it on Quicksand of Feelings. Not only was I affected emotionally, but physically, as well, which I blogged about on Somewhat Out of Tune.

Learning to adjust your perspective is vital for emotional, mental and physical health. It increases resilience, enhances creativity, builds immunity, develops intuition and brings your life into focus.

Just like riding a bicycle, it didn't take me long to get back on track. I'm happy to say that the picture has now changed to one that is sharper, brighter and more in focus!

Image: Barbara Bar

Related Posts:

New Year's - Looking Back

2011-12-29T20:15:00.000-08:00

Image: Pedja Mi.

About a month ago, an eighty-three year old family member and I were discussing her most recent health issues.

"Whatever happens, I've had a good long life," she said.

Sadly, those words were part of the last conversation I had with her. She passed away just before Christmas.

I've been thinking about what she said, ever since.

You may think this is a strange way to begin a new year, but I hope that her words will inspire you, as they have me.

As 2012 stretches, awakens and gets up, can you say that you've had a good life? If you hesitate to answer in the affirmative, take heart, all is not lost. Each day is a gift for you to do something differently, to learn something new, or to simply enjoy and give thanks for what you have.

What small, incremental and consistent changes can you make to allow you to not only survive, but to thrive?

To help you get clear, you may wish to check out last year's post: A Quick Year Planning Exercise - Stop! Start! Continue....

Health. Finances. Work. Relationships. Recreation. Look at each of these areas separately. Are you able to apply the "good life" statement to it? Perhaps only one area is causing you grief, but it casts shadows over the others, colouring your perspective.

The good thing about perspective is that it can be changed.

How? By learning and practising stress transformation techniques. These techniques bring about subtle, yet profound changes in many areas of your life.

It's never too late to change the course of your life. What would it feel like to be able to say, "I've had a good life,"?

I wish you a Happy New Year - one that is just right for you!

It's in the Spirit

2011-12-16T08:30:00.000-08:00

Last week, on CBC's Passionate Eye, I had the pleasure of watching a documentary, Becoming Santa.

Jack Sanderson, a.k.a. Santa, even has a Twitter account. However, I think he may be far too busy at this time of year to be tweeting his Santa thoughts and impressions.

As the film rolls on, you witness him growing into his larger-than-life role. He is everything a Santa should be; not only in looks, but also in personality and persona.

This documentary is about more than the commercial frenzy that signifies this season. It's about honesty, the sharing of secrets and the wonder and kindness of a larger-than-life myth that represents hope and possibilities.

It is obvious that by the end of the film, Jack feels it, too.

However you are celebrating this holiday season, may it be one that is filled with safe travels, booming laughter and joyful memories. Merry Christmas!

Wish on stars

Take time for wonder

Enjoy a beautiful, peaceful holiday season!

~Author Unknown

Image: Ilco

Quicksand of Feelings

2011-12-16T06:00:00.001-08:00

Image courtesy of mn-que

I was thrashing about in an emotional pit of quicksand. As I wildly kicked at feelings of depression, annoyance, frustration and hurt, I sank deeper into the sludge of negative emotions.

In September, I enthusiastically and whole-heartedly began a year-long blogging project. On A Rheumful of Tips, I share an assortment of tips, tricks, techniques and strategies that document how I've moved through thirty-four years of living life with rheumatoid arthritis.

By providing an intimate look at how I live with this disease, my goal is to inspire people to live their life well, in spite of a devastating diagnosis.

It sounds good so far, right?

You see, I was getting mired by things over which I had little or no control.

Before I go on, I'd like to share a definition of stress with which I like to work. Then, I'll explain how I used it as a "big stick" to help me move onto solid ground.

Stress is your interpretation of external events that causes internal distortion or strain. How you feel determines whether or not the stress response is triggered - a cascade of fourteen-hundred chemicals that flood your body, prepping it for flight, fight or freeze. By learning to treat the cause of your stress, not just the symptoms, you can transform our stress.

Problem

I was getting bogged down (internal strain) by my interpretation of what I thought should be happening with my blog by this point in time. My readership was something over which I had no control (an external event).

Fortunately, I soon recognized that I was feeling disappointment. I was doing the best I could by sharing a part of my life that I don't typically discuss in such detail - three-hundred and sixty-five days worth of details! I was condensing thirty-four years of my life into one year. It seemed that my common-sense strategies for living with a disease that is debilitating wasn't of much interest to many people.

Hurt Solution
Quit! After all, I know these strategies, so why spend so much time blogging about them, if it doesn't matter?

Heart Solution
Undress my stress! I did a heart-based stress technique that helps to bring the nervous system back into balance. This then enabled me to make a better and more informed decision - one that was not made from the position of stress. In my case, the negative emotions I felt - disappointment, frustration, hurt - only contributed to more of the same. I was up to my neck in it!

I gained several insights from doing the technique:

Continue on with A Rheumful of Tips because I am helping the readers I do have.
It takes time to gain a readership.
Recognize that I am in over-care, which impacts the quality of my writing.

Now, you may be thinking that these are common-sense solutions. Indeed they are! Remember, that stinkin' stress thinkin' often results in far-from-common-sense self-talk.

Your turn
Are you able to recall examples of when your stinkin' stress thinkin' caused you to sink even deeper in the pit of despair? What changed it for you?

Please note that Blogger is experiencing some sort of comment hitch. If you have left a comment and it doesn't appear, please let me know via email.

Does Your Marriage Have A Flat Tire?

2011-12-09T06:00:00.002-08:00

Image courtesy of Petr Kovar

Whether it's a new romance or one that has rolled easily along, life has a way of creating break-downs. Those break-downs could be as quick as a blow-out or could be like a slow leak. Regardless, both have the same result over time - a flat tire or a flat relationship.

Very few people drive around without a spare tire in their car. In fact, they may be better-prepared for a flat tire than they are for relationship break-downs.

Your married life can change in a heartbeat. Serious illness. Job loss. Relocation. Increased work load. Unexpected bills. Troubled children. Family issues. All of these events can put even the soundest of relationships to the test.

Without adequate tools and techniques, the stress that results from these pressures continue to wreck havoc, both externally and internally. Each bout of negative thinking results in a cascade of 1400 chemical changes, which affect you in the short and long-term.

Externally, there may be an increased incidence of addictions (alcohol, drugs, food, etc.). Communication breaks down and people may choose to withdraw in order to cope. Or, the number of arguments grow. In either case, intimacy suffers.

Internal changes include changes in sleep patterns, digestive upset, irritability, loss of memory. Stress has a connection to a number of serious illnesses. Over time, it may lead to heart disease, high blood pressure, stroke, diabetes, high cholesterol and immune and fertility issues.

Stress is defined as your internal interpretation of events that leads to internal strain. If your marriage is developing or has a “flat tire,” one of the best things you can for yourself is to ensure that you have tools and techniques in place to transform your stress. This allows you to look after your emotional, physical and mental health, and get back on the road, whichever one it may be, faster and with more ease.

What is Stress Doing to You?

2011-12-02T06:00:00.000-08:00

It's not "just stress". There's nothing "just" about the impact that stress has on you and your family.

Empower yourself with tools and techniques that treat the cause of your stress and not just the symptoms.

If you're ready for results, please email or visit my website.

* Why not put a gift certificate from Auntie Stress - that's me - on your gift list? Either to give or to receive.

Grateful for these Fine American Folks

2011-11-25T06:00:00.000-08:00

In Canada, we celebrate our Thanksgiving on the second Monday of October. For more information on this, please visit the Canadian Heritage site or Wikipedia.

A visit to Twitter and it doesn't take long to realize just how BIG the Thanksgiving holiday is for our neighbours to the south.

In honour of American Thanksgiving, I'd like to devote this post to giving thanks:

1. To Twitter, for without this medium, I would not be writing this post.

2. To the following Americans who have, through their friendship, impacted me:

Jacqui Barrett-Poindexter - As I once tweeted, Texas got another star when she moved there. Jacqui is gracious, generous and caring. One of her gifts is her ability to paint a picture with words - crafting a story that is personal, instructive and entertaining.

Carol Dunn - I am impressed with the depth of her concern for the well-being of others. I have pleasant memories of our time spent working together. Diffability is my salute to her.

Conrad Hake - I'm not sure if Conrad realizes the impact he had on me when he invited me to be a part of the Loose Bloggers Consortium. Delighted, encouraged, honoured and yes, even uncertain - how could I keep up with such skilled bloggers?

Conrad has the ability to make you act, cry, engage, laugh, think and reflect, and of course, write. Here is a post that caused me to do all that!

Steve Finikiotis - We haven't "spoken" much of late, but the "conversations" we have had have been meaningful to me. On his blog, Touchpoints, Steve enlightens us with his vast experience of working with cultures from distant shores.

Beth Havey - In Twitter-time, Beth is new to me. I hope I'm correct in saying that we're part of the "Mutual Admiration Society"! :) I am always learning something new on her blog, Boomer Highway.

Kayt Hoch - Although Kayt is no longer visible on Twitter, she is not forgotten. She unearthed the poets within the Twitter community with her daily poetry prompts that made it safe to take poetic risks and make them public. To read more of her positive influence: Playing with the Big Kids and Poetry Pollination.

G. L. Hoffman - He no longer has a Twitter account, but you can find out more about his adVentures on his blog, What Would Dad Say. His invite to write a guest post provided me with a powerful reminder. You can read about that on Reverberational Effect.

I am also grateful for his generosity in sharing resources. You do know what I mean, right G.L.?

Rob Longert - We've shared a few tweets and a couple of emails. Rob's interest in getting and staying healthy is generously shared on his blog called Fit City.

I am grateful for his meaningful testimonial on LinkedIn.

Dorlee M. - Considerate. Courageous. Curious. Unselfish. Her tweets and blog are a reflection of her spirit.

Casper McFadden - This friendly and multi-talented ghost is quick to make an appearance when support is needed.

If you're so lucky to have this ghost in your court | @CasperMcFadden is one terrific good sport | Level-headed and oh, so smart! | This one's got a great big heart!

Rose Pena - I was inspired to write a post entitled Forgifting Yourself after Rose shared her family history with me. Thank you.

Zebra Finch - Despite on-going health challenges, Zebra Finch is a relentless advocate for those who don't have a voice. A generous nature - a big heart!

These are people with whom I've had the pleasure of speaking, sharing, learning, laughing, crying, caring. I may not regularly communicate with them, but I want them to know that they occupy real estate on my heart.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I thank you for your friendship.

May your table be filled with food, your heart full of love, and your home a safe haven where good memories are made. Happy Thanksgiving!

Appreciation to Cecile Graat for the image.

Your Toe-Tappin', Time-Keepin' Heart

2011-11-17T20:30:00.000-08:00

Image: Christian Ferrari

Blue Rodeo has been a favourite of mine ever since I first heard them in the eighties. I love them - as a friend of ours would say - enthusiastically, unequivocally and wholeheartedly!

We had the pleasure of attending one of their yearly under-the-stars concerts in Malkin Bowl. Even the moon made a spectacular attendance on that warm September night in Stanley Park.

The playlist included all those Blue Rodeo tunes that have created a decades and generations long fan base. The songs are singable, danceable, memorable and memory-tickling; just hearing a song such as Five Days in May instantly transports me back to another time when I had fewer miles under my feet.

As I watched, sang, danced and swayed to all those Blue Rodeo favourites, I caught myself doing something that I don't usually do when I attend a concert.

Music
I was looking for entrainment, which is what occurs when organisms synchronize their rhythms to the rhythms that are produced by another organism. At times, Jim Cuddy, Greg Keelor and Colin Cripps may have started out tapping opposite feet or either swaying left or right in time to the music. However, a few bars in, and their movements became synchronized, almost as if there had been a choreographer hiding off to the side, whispering get-it-together instructions.

Evidence of entrainment was found within the audience. You could see it occur during the songs, as row upon row of fans sang and swayed in time with the music, and with one another. Also, you could hear it at end of each song, when the applause changed from a disparate sound of clapping to a more unified and rhythmical sound.

Image: Doug Brown

History
During the seventeenth century, Christian Huygens, a Dutch scientist, made an important discovery about synchronization. He noticed that when set in motion, the pendulums of two clocks, suspended from a beam, would eventually synchronize and be heard at the same time. Even when the clocks were stopped and started again, they would soon resume the same rhythm.

Nature
Next time you take a walk through a farmer's field at dusk, listen for the synchronized crkcrkcrk sound - known as stridulation - that is made by crickets. Entrainment in nature.

Brain
Brainwaves have been classified into five categories based upon their electrical activity, which is measured in cycles per second (Hertz). Alpha, beta, delta, gamma and theta are identifiable by their frequencies. Your brain will shift through these states, dependent upon the task, much like you shift gears in a car with a manual transmission. Currently, there are a number of programs on the market which aim to entrain the brain, using auditory, and/or visual stimuli that will help the user balance the brain in order to achieve a more desirable state of being.

Women
As I was writing this post, I thought of another example of entrainment. In fact, you may be familiar with it if you share a household with a number of women. The menstrual cycles of women who live in close proximity (think university dorm) have a tendency to synchronize.

Stress
When you regularly undress your stress, entrainment occurs with many of your bodily systems. It can be equated to that regular tune-up you get for your car - afterwards, it runs better and more efficiently because all parts are working well together, as intended.

Heart, respiratory system, heart rate variability, blood pressure rhythms. What would it mean to your emotional, mental, physical and spiritual health if you could synchronize these systems? Rather than "outsourcing", you can do some "insourcing" with a unique set of techniques and tools that empower you to live a better life.

In five one-hour sessions, learn how to address the cause of stress, simply by using that great "rhythm-master" - your heart!

A Burnt Pot = Another Stress Lesson

2011-11-11T06:00:00.000-08:00

I set the rice to boil, while I quickly went to edit a post on my new blog - A Rheumful of Tips. I was so engrossed with what I was doing that I forgot about the rice.

As you can see in the picture, I made quite a mess of the pot.

I could scrub and sweat and scrub some more, all in an effort to get that pot clean.

Instead, I used a trick my mom taught me.

Let denture cleaners do the work!

I'll bet you're wondering how I'm going to tie this in with stress.

Are you vigorously trying to scrub that stress away? In stress transformation, you're allowing, your heart to do the work.

Do you recall those times when you were in-the-flow? When answers came easily to you? When you slept soundly? When you felt a great sense of inner- strength?

Those are times when your heart sent messages of well-being to your brain, rather than releasing chemicals that trigger the stress response - that famous flight, fight or freeze response.

Learn and practise changing the way you think and feel so you change the way you think and feel.

How? Maybe this will help you remember the keys to stress transformation:

Awareness - if you don't know that the pot is burnt, you won't clean it. In stress, if you're not aware that you are frequently engaging in negative thinking and feeling, you won't know that you need to change it.
Knowledge - use tools and techniques that make it easier to scrub that pot. I can teach you how stress impacts your life and how to transform it using educational technology that shows you in real-time how your heart responds to how you think and feel.
Practice - no one wants to burn a pot just to practise cleaning it. Nor does anyone want more stress in order to practise transforming it. However, learning to change the way you think and feel is a skill. Learn the skill and your heart will take care of the rest - just like those denture cleaners did on my burnt pot!

Mirthful Monday - MozART Group

2011-11-07T06:00:00.000-08:00

Thanks to my sister for this "smile".

Celebrations = Stress Transformation

2011-11-04T06:00:00.000-07:00

I often have trouble hearing, especially if someone is speaking to me from behind. These new hearing aids of mine are performing well. Please read on to discover why.

Behind me, at the Olive Garden in Bellingham, there was a commotion of a celebratory nature. A couple was having lunch in honour of their seventieth (Yes, that is 7 - 0! ) anniversary. The staff, upon learning of this monumental milestone, poured out the compliments with the same amount of attention they provide when they wait on tables. To put the icing on the anniversary cake, the manager, Kara Mech, informed the couple that their meal was on the house, which was a complete and pleasant surprise to them. (If my hearing aids served me right!)

Image: Fleur Suijten

When I turned around to offer my congratulations to the couple, the woman told me that they had married young, and proceeded to describe their double wedding ceremony.

It was a touching moment on so many levels. The length of time that they had been married. The kindness and consideration shown to them by the staff at the Olive Garden. The generosity of the restaurant for picking up their tab.

It was an honour to share, if only from the sidelines, in their celebration.

One of the keys to transforming stress is to mark the important events in your life. Celebrations are more than what they seem. When you know what they can do for you, you may begin to look at them differently.

A stressed person may not have the energy to celebrate. They may feel like there is nothing to celebrate, anyway. Life can seem like it is too much work and effort. "Fun? That's for other people."

So, how do you crack through the ice to defrost that frozen-in-stress person? By starting small. By learning to balance your nervous system with techniques that activate the power of your heart. Things like honouring your values and scheduling time to do the things you love. Amping up your appreciation and forgifting yourself.

Celebration is another way. This doesn't mean that a party is thrown each and every time, with invites to the fête going to half the neighbourhood. You can do a private happy dance.Give yourself a little pat on the back for completing a small task. Smile. Begin honouring your successes - big or small. Privately, or with friends and family. With co-workers, too, as Dr. Ellen Weber beautifully explains in her post entitled "A Brain on Celebration".

With the right tools and techniques, celebrations make for a happy heart.

Care to share? Have you witnessed or been part of any celebratory milestones? What do you do to celebrate your small successes?

The New ABCs

2011-10-28T06:00:00.000-07:00

Approximately a month ago, I sent out the above tweet. I like it so much, that I am re-gifting it, especially for you.

Appreciation - when you activate genuine feelings of appreciation - much as Ramana does regularly on his blog with the Gratitude List - you are triggering a different set of chemicals.

The trick is not just to think these feelings, but to actually go deep into your heart and feel them.This was a big challenge for me, but I have learned to discriminate the difference between the two. How do I know? Well, when I see the change in my heart rhythms, that's proof enough for me.

When you are able to achieve that, grasshopper, the pay-off is well worth it.

What's the pay-off? Well, it is different for everyone, but how would bliss and calm do, for starters - or finishers, for that matter?

I Hear and See You

2011-10-21T04:00:00.000-07:00

We all want to know that our life counts for something - that we've been seen and heard. That we matter.

Do make some time to listen to the stories of friends and family members; in sharing, you're caring. In caring, you're building connections that will sustain you, long after the light of your relationship has dimmed.

If you're young, document the history of your family; don't just wait for "one day" because that day arrives too soon, and then it becomes "yesterday" - and it's too late.

As I read David's post today, I realized that blogging is another way to preserve those memories for family and friends.

Surgical Success - Activating Your Control

2011-10-13T06:00:00.000-07:00

There's no doubt about it. Going for surgery is stressful, regardless of which way you look at it – mentally, emotionally and physically. So, it stands to reason that in addition to following your doctor's orders – quitting smoking, losing weight and/or following a special diet - you also get your stress under control. Stress affects your physiology – increases your blood pressure, heart rate and the production of chemicals, which have their own set of side-effects. Why not prepare in advance, and give your surgical team (and you!) a helping hand?

Learning to control your anger may also speed up the healing process after surgery, US research suggests.

The Brain Behavior and Immunity study indicates stress has a major impact on the body's ability to repair itself.

Surgical Success

Over the years, I've had a number of surgeries, but 2006 topped them all! I did extremely well in recovering from all four of them by developing my own surgical success list, which included learning to transform those negative emotions associated with surgery. For me, they included fear, worry and frustration.

Exercise Control

When you're stressed, you often think that you don't have any power in whatever situation you may find yourself. This is the conundrum – you feel stressed – you act in a certain way – you act in a certain way – you feel more stress...and 'round and 'round it goes.

Surgery can make you feel as if you have no control. What you can and can't do is dictated by the type of surgery you have. You spend a lot of time waiting - for nurses, doctors, appointments, results, recovery. Wouldn't it be great to be able to take back some of that control? To misquote the toddlers, “You are the boss of you.”

If you are scheduled for surgery, take some time to learn techniques to augment your recovery. Please email me for details.

Image courtesy of Zern Liew.

Please visit my other blog, A Rheumful of Tips, where I provide a daily tip on how I move through life with rheumatoid arthritis.

This article originally appeared in the White Rock Valley Women's Network newsletter.

Amp up Your Appreciation

2011-10-04T07:00:00.000-07:00

Even animals can say thank you.

.

Did you know that by amping up your appreciation, you are undressing your stress?

When you activate positive feelings - ones that are genuine - you affect your heart rate variability. The smoother the rhythm, the better it is for you. (Learn to tell when you've actually made the switch or are just thinking you've made the switch, which is what I did until I had the program to show me the difference.)

Go ahead and amp up your appreciation by finding some small thing that has brightened your day in some way.

For example, while I was out shopping yesterday, someone sat down at the electric keyboard in the store and began playing Fur Elise. I love that! It was a welcomed interlude to an otherwise dreary chore.

Your turn. What is on your appreciation list today?

Weeding-Out Wednesday

2011-09-28T07:00:00.000-07:00

In physics, stress is described as an external force producing internal distortion or strain. As a working definition, I like to use the following: It's our interpretation of external events that produces internal distortion or strain.

To sum it up in one word - perception.

But, there's more. It has to do with values. When you honour your values, you feel better, more alive. It's as if you've listened to yourself - listened to what is deep in your heart. Many things can get in the way and soon, your values - the things that are important to you - take a back seat.

Ironically, the more stressed you are, the less likely your true self shines. The likelihood of you living your values lessens. The less you live your values, the more you experience stress. And around it goes.

Time and time again, I hear people say that they need to clean out their closet, the garage or the buffet, but yet they never seem to get to it. (Orderliness or neatness is one of their values.) It becomes an irritant, a tornado of unused and unwanted items that have taken on a life of their own. It's always present and it is a painful reminder of a job unfinished.

Stress transformation doesn't take a lot of time. What it does require, though, is a willingness to do it, consistency and a plan. I can help you with that - email for more information, please.

What is Weeding-Out Wednesday?
I thought it may be an interesting and hopefully, a fun experiment for you to join me in Weeding-Out Wednesday. Choose a small area in your home and set the timer for fifteen minutes and "Go!"

If you're stressed by the lack of orderliness, then this may be the "push" you need. You'll be surprised what you can accomplish in just fifteen minutes.

In addition to taking that important first step, your efforts may result in something to donate, discard or display.

Why not make every Wednesday a Weeding-Out Wednesday?

Here's the next step, now that you're done:

Take a picture of the newly cleared/cleaned out area, an object that didn't belong there, or something you've been looking for. Then, share the link of where you posted the picture. (I can't seem to find a way to do so in the comments section in Blogger.)

Suggestions:

a drawer in your filing cabinet
your tool box
one book shelf
the glove compartment in your car
the button box
a dresser drawer
the magazine rack
the odds 'n ends drawer
a bulletin board

Today, I tackled the "I don't know where to put it, so I'll stick it in here drawer" in the office.

Vice grip image courtesy of luvlymumsy.

New AdVENTURE

2011-09-19T13:27:00.000-07:00

When my age could be told in the single digits, I was often not far from a notebook, pencil and my imagination. Pages later, I had spun a tale or three. I loved to write.

Then, something happened and the decades passed. I stopped doing what I loved. It wasn't until 2006 when I learned how to transform my stress that I found this lost love. It started with periodic articles for the monthly newsletter of a networking group, of which I was a member. Some encouragement and soon this blog appeared, followed by Heart to Heart, my quarterly, now monthly newsletter.

Now, I'm embarking upon a new writing adVENTURE. I've had rheumatoid arthritis for thirty-four years and had to adapt, change and let go of the way I do things in order to find a new way of moving through the world.

A Rheumful of Tips is my year-long, once-daily blog project. You're invited to walk a year in my shoes.

The Word Store

2011-09-16T07:00:00.000-07:00

Tom Guadagno recently indited several synonymous groups of adjectives; all of which were available for the plucking on Twitter.

This has led to some fanciful thinking on my part. What if, when you're stuck, you could pop into The Word Store? You'd walk in and find shelves and drawers heavily laden with words of all sizes, manner and method. A system for cross-referencing would be a necessity. It would be a polyglot of an emporium. Assistance? - Swift. You'd be welcome to scurry through or to linger for the day.

Words of pain, words of worth

Words of joy, shelves of mirth

The Word Store is there

They can help you prepare

A sonnet or a song

A letter, that's gone wrong

Adjectives and adverbs

Nouns, to help with your blurb

Words of laughter, books of care

The Word Store is beyond compare!

Stress can rob you of many things...

I'll complete this post by briefly discussing three of them.

Frivolity - A manner lacking seriousness. The ability to take a break and partake in some frivolity.

When you are stressed, everything may seem heavily-weighted with the woes of the world or those closer to home - closer at heart.

Your life may be imbued with a sense of seriousness that is excessive. When the work is done and it is time to play, you may find that you cannot spend a few moments doing something that seems to have no inherent value.

"Play is more than fun," says Stuart Brown. In this TED talk he explains why play is essential and how we establish the basis of human trust through play. He also points out that many people begin to lose the ability to play as they age.

Transform your stress and increase your play propensity. It works. I know this from experience.
Courage - The state of mind or quality of spirit that enables one to face danger, fear or vicissitudes with self-possession, confidence and resolution.

Fear can rule your life or ruin your life. It can make you see danger in everything and everyone. Your mind gets so busy searching out the danger that it obliterates the ability to enjoy your life.

Courage is that ability to take risks. They may be little ones, like I did here, or bigger ones. The size and scope are totally coloured by your own experiences. What may constitute a big risk for you, may be small by someone else's standards.

Transform your stress and your risk-assessment meter improves.
Vulnerability - Open to censure or criticism.

In this case, the type of vulnerability I'm referring to is tied in to courage - the ability to take risks and be vulnerable, within limits. It is the showing and sharing of yourself, knowing that you may receive less-than-kind comments.

Note: I thought this post was finished after my poetic(?) offering. After engaging in a bit of frivolous fun, the words flowed, and I was able to add more depth to this post.

Play, frivolity and laughter does serve a purpose. A very serious one. As stress is transformed, different chemicals are released and a different part of the brain - the pre-frontal cortex - is engaged. That means more flow - the brain does what it does best; classify, create, reason, solve, sort, etc. (A trip to The Word Store could help me round out this list! :) )

Your turn: When did a bit of frivolous fun lead to more productivity for you?

Change the Channel!

2011-09-09T07:00:00.000-07:00

I had the following conversation on Twitter:

From @zebrafinch Getting eco-depressed, time to stop tweeting. See you all at the end of this week. Resting up for HBOT, loooong walk to dr office.

From @AuntieStress to @zebrafinch Great idea to walk away for the time-being.

From @AuntieStress to @zebrafinch I watched the doc. "Surveillance" and noticed a sudden plummeting in my mood. Should have heeded my own advice!

From @ZebraFinch to @AuntieStress LOL, Marianna, saw yr tweet just now abt yr watching "Surveillance" -- you're human! Even the teacher is allowed. : )

How often does your mood shift based upon what you see, hear, smell or do? Until you begin to build awareness to these often subtle changes, you may not even notice that you are feeling differently.

To be human is to have emotions. Those emotions add quality and depth to your life. A lack of awareness, knowledge and/or practise, can cause you to get stuck in negative emotions. The paradox is that those negative emotions then generate more negative emotions.

Life happens. Death. Illness. Job Loss. Serious and not so serious events. Do you have the skills to neutralize those negative thoughts and emotions and balance your nervous system? Are you able to change your channel and switch to a program that is more enjoyable?

Start by checking your breathing. Are you using your diaphragm? Remember that the stress response is designed for flight or fight.This means that breathing changes. Prolonged stress makes these changes normal - you may notice that you are not engaging the diaphragm, but rather the muscles of the chest and neck.

If you're ready to learn how to change your channel, please call or email.

What's the crackle of Northern Lights without awe?

That first kiss without a stirring deep within?

What's the sound of your baby's laughter?

How do you feel with

A near-miss while driving, a found set of keys?

What's your life without appreciation?

A harvest moon over the pumpkin patch

A meal to tantalize the taste buds

How do you feel with

Friends and family gathered 'round?

Image courtesy of Ry Young.

Roundabouts

2011-09-02T10:00:00.000-07:00

Roundabouts are still fairly uncommon in Canada; at least that's what I've noticed in the cities that I've visited across this country. In the Lower Mainland, they're being constructed more and more frequently. I love them! They remind me of my travels to places where roundabouts are de rigeur.

Not only are they efficient, but they're also fun to drive; provided that everyone understands the rules of the roundabout. (It seems that a lot of people omit Step 4. Turn signals are not optional. Other drivers, by and large, are not clairvoyant!)

Another type of "roundabout"

Not an official term, but it gets the point across. This type of roundabout produces stress and is a result of stress. It is both a sign and a symptom.

Looping thoughts - the ones where you recycle the same conversation, replay the vicious argument or circle around the What-do-I-do's?, all without arriving at viable solution.

Like the above sign indicates, 'round and 'round you go, until finally you stop, something interrupts you, or you crash. However, unlike a traffic roundabout, this kind of thinking and feeling is not a lot of fun, nor is it efficient. You end up burning a lot of fuel. In other words, a lot of energy.

How do you exit this "roundabout"?

1. You need to know that you are approaching a roundabout or are in one. Catch yourself in looping thoughts.
2. What are the rules specific to roundabouts? How do you execute those rules? Learn how negative thinking and feeling affects you. (There's a lot of information in my posts and on my website about this.) But knowledge alone isn't enough. You need to know what to do to change or improve it.
3. Think about drivers who gain experience by practising driving roundabouts. In other words, practise the new behaviours so that you are now able to automatically do them, regardless of the conditions.

What can you do right now?

Check your breathing. Are you using your diaphragm to breathe?
Do the things you love. They are restorative.
Amp up the appreciation factor.
Call or email me to discover which program is right for you. I'd love to be your "driving instructor", providing you with all you need to know so you can travel safely where and when you want!