I drove into the quiet village of Tofino, BC in the early afternoon.

It was pouring rain. The sky was grey and black. Miserable sums up the vibe very well.

That is, until I walked into my waterfront cabin to check-in.

Sitting at the check-in counter was this guy, probably in his 20s or 30s. Long, shaggy hair, red and black checkered flannel shirt. He looked a lot like a Californian transplanted in the dreary Northwest.

As I was checking in, I spotted a bio-diesel Land Rover. You don’t see those much where I’m from.

So, I asked him about it and he said it was his. Apparently, it was great to get up and down the coast to surf.

Jokingly I said, “Yeah, if this weather would stop.”

His response was heavy. “This is the best weather to surf, man. No one’s out there. Just you and the waves.”

I went on to ask him where he was from – how he came to be in little Tofino on an island just northwest of Vancouver.

He was a “local” from Vancouver since childhood, moved to California for a few years, but left the rat race to come home. He gave up his high paying job and flashy California lifestyle because his heart was somewhere else.

I walked out of that conversation changed. I wanted to be that guy. I wanted to live a simple life with no stress. Just doing what I love.

In my mind, that was true success.

Fast-forward 9 months and I am that guy, more or less. I quit my high-stress job, moved to a small resort town in North Idaho, and work at a ski resort.

Free season pass, chair lift seconds from my office door, and the nicest people I’ve ever met surround me.

There’s just one thing wrong.

I didn’t feel successful.

My ambitions to succeed had gotten the best of me. I wanted to build something big. I wanted to be someone.

I saw entrepreneurs of the world building tribes and starting movements and that’s what I wanted.

I wanted the never-ending workdays & loads of work. A purpose for life.

You see, I had a problem. A problem I’m sure many of us have had.

There was an ideal me that I wanted to achieve and I could never be happy with the person I currently was.

Whatever I had at the moment, it was wrong. I wanted something different. I was constantly chasing success and no matter how big of a leap I made toward it, it would shoot off in the opposite direction.

I had, what I call, a Sinatra moment: “I want to get away from it all, but not too far away.”

We often view success as one of two things:

1. A life with a prestigious job and a mortgage and two cars and college savings accounts and a boat and a 10 burner barbecue and….
2. A life where experiences trump anything else.

How do you effectively work toward being the person you want to be while being happy with the person you currently are?

Well, I asked that question to my Facebook clan and I got a great response that I think shines light on what success truly is.

“Partially by trusting that you are a wonderful work in progress and at your core you are absolutely a perfect ray of light.”

That is what true success is: Being okay with who you are at this given moment and understanding that what you’re meant to be, will be.

Here are 5 ideas that have helped me and will help you when you find yourself unhappy with your current place in life:

1. Hold a mirror up to your past. – Reflect on what you’ve accomplished already. We tend to focus on the future and lose track of what amazing things we’ve already done. Being mindful of your accomplishments will help you be okay with where you’re currently at.
2. Get competitive – It’s okay to compare yourself to others. The key here is to find others in your similar pool but who have not accomplished as much as you. Not to brag or even get cocky, but if you’re like me, you often compare yourself to others who are better than you. People you aspire to be. Take some time to look at others who may aspire to be you.
3. Write it all out – We often have big dreams and aspirations but never write them down. Not only is this a bad idea because you won’t hold yourself accountable, but it’s hard to “check something off” when you finally do accomplish it. Even worse, you may just completely forget about it.
4. Dig deep – Take a couple of hours to work on the question: “What does success look like to me?” Because success is different to everyone. As I’ve shown, what was success for the Tofino Surfer wasn’t necessarily success for me. When working on this question, really dig in past the superficial junk. Keep asking yourself ‘why’ when you have a reason something means success for you.
5. Pre-evaluate, evaluate, and reevaluate – Always be cognizant of your happiness and success. Take the time to work through what success means to you, how you’re successful right now in this moment, and what you can do better to remain successful in the future. You can’t just go along in life, not defining what success means to you, and expect it to show up.

So, being a professional ski bum or surf bum isn’t necessarily the life for me. Neither is being a fast-paced, corporate drone.

I failed twice at trying to be successful when you look at each situation separately.

But if you look at my life from a 30,000 foot view, I have succeeded.

I’ve experimented with my life and found what I like and don’t like. I took chances and asked myself very clearly what success means to me. I’ve reached a point where I am at ease with who I’ve become and what is yet to happen.

How about you?

Do you feel you’re currently working toward success like it’s an end-result?

Or do you understand success is an ever-changing journey that we are all constantly striving for?

It’s time we let ourselves be okay with being successful in this very moment.

Have you ever tried to make a change in your life to find you just didn’t have the willpower to carry it through?

Well, today I have a simple six step framework for making changes in your life called ‘The Life Enhancing Framework’

Before I go on to show you the framework I’d like to explain it a little more to help you get the most out of it.

If I were to ask you what rituals you have in your life, what would your answer be?

A lot of us don’t even know we have rituals in our lives, but think about these rituals that most of us perform: brushing our teeth, showering, having breakfast, lunch and dinner, going to work, taking the kids to school, going to bed at a certain time – that’s only a few, I’m sure you can think of many more.

A ritual is something you do every day, or most days,  without consciously thinking about it.

Good and bad rituals

There are a lot of good rituals we have in our lives, but there’s also a lot of bad ones we could be getting rid of.  With this framework you won’t have to focus on getting rid of bad rituals as the good ones you are going to create will push the bad rituals to the side.

As an example I consciously created a life enhancing ritual of becoming an early riser and it has really helped push my productivity up and helped with relaxation and exercise.  Now, getting up early is not everyone’s cup of tea, but it gives you an idea of the power of rituals..

The Life Enhancing Framework

Step 1

The first step of the framework is to identify nine rituals in your life that you would like to implement. Don’t worry we aren’t going to implement all nine straight away, that would be overwhelming

Write down life enhancing rituals that you might like to introduce in your life; meditation, yoga, more exercise, walking, drinking more water, actively listening to people, That’s 5 or 6 off the bat straight away and you will come up with others; spending time with family, hobbies, anything that you can think of.

Just make it nine at the moment. This is the first step of creating a new ritual.

Step 2

The second step is to reduce the nine life enhancing rituals down to three life enhancing rituals.

The way you’ll do that is to identity the three most important ones to you. So take your list and pick out the three that are most important to you, and the most likely ones you’ll implement straight away. Remember it’s the most important ones to you, not to anyone else, just to you.

Step 3

Now prioritise them, with most important one at the top of the list.

Step 4

The fourth step is to look at the top priority ritual and look for the path of least resistance.

By that I mean which path is most achievable i.e. You want to implement a new exercise routine at 5.30pm on a Monday, Wednesday and Friday, look at the path of least resistance. If you’ve got children to take to afterschool clubs, perhaps your partner doesn’t come into after 5.30pm or perhaps you have working commitments so 5.30pm might not be a good time to implement that life enhancing ritual.

Whereas if you look at the path: 6 am in the morning, you don’t necessary have to go to the gym but you could go for a walk every morning at 6 am before anyone gets up, so you are available and no one is demanding your time and you can still get the exercise that you want every day. Now this would be the path of least resistance.

If you choose a harder path to follow there are going to be roadblocks that get in your way.  This makes it less likely that you will succeed in making this a ritual.

Step 5

Number 5 in the framework is to set a specific time every day to implementing this ritual in your life.

As I said in the previous example if you want to set a specific time of six o’clock to start walking in the morning for half an hour, which means every morning without fail you get up about 5.30am, get dressed, have a shower, get your clothes on, relax for 10-15 minutes then at 6 am you go out for a walk for half an hour.

The reason it’s important that a specific time is set is to condition your body clock, and if you miss doing your life enhancing ritual, your body, mind and spirit will almost start to yearn for it.

Step 6

The sixth, and final step, is to carry out the life enhancing ritual every single day, if you can.

If it’s a form of exercise it would be great if you could do it every day, that’s if it’s a gentle exercise. If it’s a gym routine it may not be possible to do every single day.

There will be other life enhancing rituals that you can do every day; drinking more water, perhaps a litre or more, but do it at a specific time every single day. You have to try and do it every single day if you can, that way you’re body, mind and spirit will get used to it.

I hope you understand the framework for introducing a life enhancing ritual into your life. What will happen over the weeks and months is that your life degrading rituals will start to diminish as more and more life enhancing rituals come into your life.

Willpower

I also want to speak about willpower.

Studies have shown that you only have a certain amount of willpower. It has been shown that we haven’t got a limitless supply of willpower because it takes mental energy to force your will on something, and this is what you are going to be doing when you are creating a life enhancing ritual
. You are going to be forcing your will, and yourself to start this ritual. It’s going to take a lot of mental energy at first. After maybe three or five weeks it’s going to become an unconscious habit. This is the state we want to get to, we want the ritual to become an unconscious habit because when it becomes an unconscious habit you no longer have to think about it. It means that you are expending much less mental energy on it.

The more life enhancing rituals you have in your life the less mental energy you will be expending while still gaining all the benefits of having life enhancing rituals.

To try and explain a little further here is an example, when you first start to drive you had to concentrate really hard; on the wheel, peddle, gear stick etc. You couldn’t really let your mind wander at all when you first started to drive because you had to concentrate so hard. You had to force your will to concentrate on all the other drivers on the road, as well as focusing on what you were doing. However, once you become an experienced driver you no longer have to concentrate so much, it becomes an unconscious process. You can listen to the radio; you can concentrate on a CD or audio book or the person speaking to you next to you.

There are lots of things you can do when you’re driving. You shouldn’t be driving when you are fully concentrating on something else but your mind is really split in two places at one time. This is because the driving becomes an unconscious act so you don’t have to expend the mental energy on driving anymore.

So that’s the place we want to get to when we are creating life enhancing rituals in our lives.

It’s unbelievable to identify what rituals you have in your life and it’s unbelievable what we can achieve if we can develop more life enhancing rituals in our lives.

Please leave any comments or questions down below about you life enhancing rituals.

“Let my name stand among those who are willing to bear ridicule and reproach for the truth’s sake, and so earn some right to rejoice when the victory is won.” ~ Louisa May Alcott

There comes a time in each of our lives when we must decide who we are and what we stand for.

Truth is, we are called to take that stand each and every time there’s a choice to be made between doing what’s right in the moment, despite our fear and insecurities or the possibility of public scorn and following the crowd into the lukewarm waters of moral mediocrity and self-defeatism.

Each of these decisions becomes the brick and mortar of the rest of our lives that either creates a foundation strong enough to build a life that is amazing, beautiful, passionate and powerful or does not.

So what do you stand for?

Stand for Something Worth Standing for

Stand for Compassion

“If you can’t feed a hundred people, then feed just one.” ~ Mother Teresa

We are limited to the number of people we touch and inspire and lift and bless in this life by the degree to which we keep our hands in our own pockets and fail to reach out to those in need.

A no-brainer, right?

But then how many times have you had the opportunity to reach out to someone in need and you didn’t? In my own life, I can’t count them. I wish I could, but the number would be too high. Still, I’m not suggesting we sell all our possessions and spend all our lives serving the poor.

But there are causes in need of trumpeting. There are people, perhaps in your own family or neighborhood, who need a shoulder, a smile, a word of encouragement.

There are people who are just one visit, one phone call, one note, email or text away from finally feeling loved, accepted, appreciated, like they truly matter.

When was the last time you made that visit, placed that call or wrote that note of appreciation?

“An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.” ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

Don’t get me wrong, I know we have good hearts and good intentions, but when push comes to shove, do we sit and wait for the next person to do what’s needed to help, to bless, and serve or do we step up to the plate and do our part?

We can be such resources for good in the world, if we’re willing.

Perhaps the most important service we can render will be changes instigated in our own backyards and neighborhoods – with a friend going through a divorce, an elderly neighbor struggling to cope with the loss of her husband, a next door neighbor who can no longer push the lawn mower or take out the trash, a son or daughter struggling with their identity.

It will be by reaching out to individuals, one person at a time, loving them and lifting them and serving them, that we can most profoundly change lives and add meaning and purpose and happiness to our lives.

So smile at those who need a smile. Hug those who need a hug. Befriend those who need a friend. Talk to those who need to talk. Be the shoulder, the arm, the muscle, the heart that others will need from time to time as we all stumble through life together.

You’ll soon find that as you give, oh so much more will be received.

Stand for Truth

“Stand upright, speak thy thoughts, declare the truth thou hast, that all may share; Be bold, proclaim it everywhere: They only live who dare.” ~ Voltaire

Are your values the shadows cast by other people’s standards? Does your character change with the seasons, or the crowd, or your mood? Are your standards more like a costume you wear when the occasion calls for it, then discarded when something better comes along? In other words, is your moral core made of such pliable stuff, that it’s easily squeezed into any shape or form?

Well, it’s time to take a stand! We can’t respect ourselves when we have no core worthy of our respect. If our core is no more than drift wood floating on the sea of societal norms and pop culture, or worse, of expediency, then truly there is nothing we can stand on. Only if you’re anchored to something fixed and solid can you build something tall and magnificent. So anchor yourself to universal principles and fundamental truths. There’s nothing more solid than that.

Standing for something means centering yourself on timeless principles. It means committing to live by those principles. It means leaving the crowd whenever they stray from those standards. That bedrock of core principles will return a sense of self-respect to the image in the mirror over time as they are applied, internalized and expressed as a natural extension of who you have become.

Stand for Self-Respect and Dignity

Are you so meek you’ve largely disappeared? Do you bend and bend some more and keep on bending? Are you so flexible that you’ve lost your spine and the ability to stand up altogether? Do you mold yourself into other people’s reality, losing the shape and form of who you most fundamentally are?

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.” ~ Robert Frost

Never become the doormat on which others wipe their feet. Never be the sole giver to a bottomless pit. Never secret your mind for fear of upsetting others by sharing a piece of it. Never deny yourself so as to keep the peace. Never be nothing to let someone else think they’re something. Never evaporate into thin air or turn to liquid or shrink into the cracks in the floorboards of life just because someone else is inclined to walk on you.

It’s time to stand and be counted! Stand tall with your moral footing firmly planted on moral principle and treat yourself with dignity and respect.

And expect it from others. But don’t fall to the noisy temptation of demanding respect by virtue of the volume of your voice, but by the quiet dignity of your integrity to what’s right and a healthy respect for who you are and are working to become.

Stand Even When No One Else Will Stand With You

Standing up to be counted is a daunting thing, especially if most of your life has been lived in the fetal position. But life cannot be lived well if we live it slouched, bent in the perpetual position of a bow or an apology or a question mark.

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

So refuse to be the question mark at the end of someone else’s sentence. Stop being the soggy flakes at the milky bottom of life’s cereal bowl. Refuse to be the whisper behind closed doors or the silence that sinks deep into the heart like a knife.

Instead, be a man or be a woman, standing tall, strong, a person of moral courage, dedicated to truth and principle, your hands outstretched, ready to lift the weary, a voice that is clear and distinct and confident. Ready, in short, to stand and be counted, to make a difference, to help change the world.

That, after all, is what we were meant to be. And together, that’s what we can accomplish.

Afterthoughts

“Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.” ~ Alexander Hamilton

Decide what you stand for and stand for it! Stand for people, for relationships, for those in need, for your fellow brothers and sisters in this 7 billion member family called humanity. Stand on principle and for truth whether others follow or run or condemn.

Develop an inner core that prevents indifference and apathy, that keeps you walking on the same side of the street as the man with the empty eyes and empty pockets and empty stomach, that holds you firmly to high standards and the self-reverence of self- respect.

And then, and perhaps only then, will we develop the power to alter the course and trajectory of our world because we will have exercised the power to stand tall in the face of those who want us to kneel and cower and apologize and slide into the background of life.

But we won’t do it. Instead, we will stand for something greater than our own self-interest. We will stand for truth and dignity and humanity. And, if we must, even if abandoned by others for a time, we will still stand until the whole world is standing with us.

What do you stand for?  Please share in the comments below.

All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.  –Walt Disney

In 1995, at the age of twelve, when most of his buddies are playing ball in the yard, Craig Kielburger was telling anyone who would listen about an organization he created called Free The Children.  He would speak anywhere from India to Washington D.C. to New York to Haiti.  He was even profiled on 60 Minutes about his crusade to stop child labor.

So if you had asked that kid why he did all that instead of just being a kid?  He’d say, “I feel very passionate about child labor and want to do something to stop it.”

Craig Kielburger is living on purpose. 

He has found something that gets his juices flowing and the adrenaline pumping.  His purpose gives him tremendous energy.  For a kid his age, or an adult for that matter, he has done things, been places and met people that has made people take notice.  When there is fire in your belly you can do the impossible.

Why do some people have that burning desire and some do not?

Most people simply go through the motions day-in, day-out.  Caught up in the boring, mundane routines of life.  Almost mechanical.

Finding YOUR Purpose

Volumes of books have been written on this subject.  Google will give you over 100 million results.  I believe it is essential to seek your purpose in life.  To have a clear definition.  If you do this, you will have done something that 97% of people never do.

Most people wander aimlessly about.  Unsure of who they were meant to be or what they are supposed to be doing.

Crossroads of life

Then there are those who come to a crossroad in life and want to figure out what the hell happened.  How did things end up like this?  And what can they do to change it?

This typically happens between ages 35 to 55 years old.  The mid-life crisis.  I speak from experience.  This very thing happened to me.

Is this all there is?

After some serious soul-searching, you begin to feel a void.  Something isn’t quite right.  Something is missing, but you can’t quite put your finger on it.

Money doesn’t satisfy

Money is not the answer to the question.  Buying the adult toys, cars, boats, etc. doesn’t do it anymore.  The bigger house or the second home might be there, but this empty feeling is still there as well.

Learning to Live on Purpose

Does this scenario sound familiar?  Do you wonder about a lack of purpose in your life?  We all hunger for a deeper meaning in our lives.

We need to feel at our core that we matter and that we are making a difference.

Living a lifestyle that is on purpose gives you the opportunity to pour your life into the lives of others.  Leave your imprint in a positive way.  Be a giver without the thought of any type of personal reward or recognition.

Three Steps toward finding your purpose:

1.    Align your purpose with your natural giftedness – We all have our natural talents and interests.  Discovering what these are is what the game of life is about.  Many times, our careers might not be aligned with what we enjoy most or even do best.  Our values and our actions may conflict. 

I believe that every person is born with talent. –Maya Angelou

2.    Living on purpose requires tunnel-vision – Many people lose direction and motivation because they are easily distracted or influenced by other people.  They begin to wander and lose focus.  You need single-mindedness and determination to do what it takes.  This separates the weak from the strong, the procrastinators from the committed.  This ignites the passion and creates a feeling of significance.

Success demands singleness of purpose. –Vince Lombardi

3.    Maintain humility in your pursuits – Don’t let your ego override good intentions.  Those who have the greatest impact are not concerned with fame and fortune.  Just do the work.  Greed and power have not place in a life on purpose.

 I feel the first true test of a great man is in his humility. – John Ruskin

Let’s face it… finding your purpose and living it out is a lot harder than than following anyone’s arbitrary list of 1, 2, 3.  But you must start somewhere.  Do you feel the uneasiness stirring inside you?  Let your search begin.

Today sees the start of a new monthly series for CYT: A Monthly income report.

Over the course of the last 2 years, since I  took the blog seriously, I have been asked how I make income from the blog and have been asked to help others do the same.  Time constraints have stopped me from helping as many people as I would like to, but that will soon be changing (watch this space)

This report is not about showing off in any way it’s a way to motivate others who are blogging to make money online.

I have to say it took me a hell of a long time to find my feet and really, it took 4 years to make any sort of regular income.  So this is not an easy route to take, but for me it’s the love of writing, the love of helping others, and the love of money J that keeps me going.

Another thing to consider before I go on is to tell you that I am still doing this on a part time basis, working maybe 5 hours per day with my online business, and working full time as an addiction worker.  Hopefully before the end of the year I will be working full time at this, but I’ve been saying that for a few years now J

This month is a bit skewed as we had the launch of the Re-Awakening which brought in a few thousand extra than my normal months.

The buzz in April

1. Release of a new product – The Re-Awakening
2. Low key release of Law of Attraction product Create Your Own Life (I didn’t write this, but bought the rights to it)
3. Teaming up with Carolyn Hansen
4. New personal development spotlight site

The release of The Re-Awakening

Myself and Angela Artemis released a new product The Re-Awakening at the beginning of April, officially the 11th April.  This has been in the works for a few months now, and has been an idea of mine for a few years.

It’s a Guided Meditation program with a ton of bonuses to help anybody looking to rid themselves of stress, anxiety and depression.  But it’s so much more than as Angela wrote 3 books for this program and compliment the program really well.

We were helped with a lot of affiliates and blogger friends and have sold around 350 copies of this product to date (sales figures to come later)

Low key release of Create your own Life

I still think the Law of Attraction has a lot to offer us in terms of motivation and future sight setting.  However the film ‘The Secret’ has actually damaged the reputation of the Law of Attraction, but paradoxically it was ‘The Secret’ that actually put The Law of Attraction in the minds of millions of people around the world.

The Secret, is really only an introduction to the Law of Attraction and we need something more to compliment it.  I found this product LOA and made a web page Create Your Own Life as I thought it was a neat little product and wanted to experiment with it.  I released it last week.

Teaming up with Carolyn Hansen

Many of you will know Carolyn already with her health and fitness web sites.  We are teaming up together to offer a giveaway event later on in the year and I am looking forward to working with herself and technical whiz kid Stephen Carter

New personal development spotlight site

I have finally figured out what to do with the top level domain http://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk I have turned it into a personal development products review site.  Where I showcase personal development products, books, videos, and news.

It’s in it’s infancy just now, literally born yesterday with a new design and I have populated, and backdated, some products, news and videos from the last month or so.  I have a plan for this and more time, soon, will allow me to devote some energy to it.

Income Breakdown

Disclosure: Some of the links in these reports are affiliate links so if you buy me from them I will make a commission.  I totally appreciate it if you do and if you have any questions regarding the products please contact me.

TheReAwakening.net Product Sales

• Total Sales: $8,110.10

TheReAwakening.net/LOA Product Sales

•  Total Sales: $408

CYTGuides.com Product Sales

•  Total sales: $385 (the site was down for around 10 days)

Amazon book sale royalties (this includes Amazon Kindle and Createspace sales)

•  Total sales $533.99

Advertising

• Total Sales $400

Total Income from blog + products = $9837.09

Affiliate earnings

Recreate Your Life Morty Lefkoe – $299.04

Weight Loss Bible – $203.80

Conversational Hypnosis – $101.48

Natural Perfect Vision – $92.40

High Self Esteem Kids Coach Training – $70.68

Scott Case Live off Your Passion - $58.20

Business Coaching Certification – $33.22

Binaural Beats – $27.04

Discover Your Passion – $19.50

Hypnosis to Change Your Life – $13.19

Total affiliate income for the month = $891.51

TOTAL = $10,728.60

Outgoings – $5846.85 (affiliate payments, half profits to partner, aweber costs, server costs, virtual assistant costs)

Total Net Income for the April = $4881.75

Lessons learned

I will try and be as candid as possible in this section in case you are interested in learning about making money from blogging.

• When building up an email list it’s important to learn to stay in touch with your email list with personal stories, content, offers and links to blog posts. It’s easy to forget, particularly when you’re part time that it’s your email subscribers and the relationship you develop is going to determine how successful you are online. Yeah I know everybody is saying email is dead, but they’ve been saying that for years, it’s just not true. Building a list of email subscribers and developing a great relationship with them is crucial to your success online.

• It’s easy to get stuck in a launch and focus all your attention on that and keep going until you have everything just right. However it’s even better to have someone working with you and for you to help you ease the strain of making your own product. With the Re-Awakening I was working with Angela Artemis, who was great, and I had an assistant emailing out emails for me and doing other things that helped a great deal.

Okay I think I’ve written enough for now.

If you like the idea of doing these monthly reports let me know and I will keep doing them or save them for a new blog about blogging.

As a junior in college in the summer of 2009, I decided, of my own volition: “I should learn Chinese!”

We’ve all heard the anecdotes about why Chinese is “hard”: it’s one of the hardest languages for English-speakers to learn.  It’s impossible to memorize the characters (“they all look the same!”.  There are in excess of 50,000 characters; a literate Chinese would need to know about 4,000 to read and understand a newspaper).  That’s going to take a lot of time.

I wasn’t a Chinese major (I was an accounting major), so it’s not like I had all day to study the language.  I didn’t know much about China or Chinese, but I decided I didn’t care enough about stories like these: I was going to try anyway.

So I did.

Fast forward to April, 2012.

Three years later, I:

• Studied abroad in Shanghai for a semester
• Know in excess of 1,500 characters, and likely twice as many vocabulary words
• Can read a Chinese newspaper fairly well, with the help of a Chinese-English dictionary at times, especially when the article’s topic matter is complicated
• Can carry on intermediate-level conversations in Chinese
• Entertain friends by my extensive knowledge of Chinese-language “bad words”

So I have quite a ways to go, but I’ve gotten quite far.

Whenever I tell people I meet about my learning Chinese, they’re always very impressed.  They usually mention one of the stories above (“wow, that must have been so hard to learn!”).

They think I pulled off something truly amazing.  A friend commented that I have a true “gift for language”.

A “gift for language”?  Yeah, right.  In fact, there’s nothing impressive at all about my accomplishment.

What I do have—that most people who seem impressed by my accomplishments with Chinese do not understand—is a mindset for success: a desire for accomplishment so strong and so pervasive that it permeates the way I spend my time, the way I think about things, and the things I value in life.  This mindset pushed me through the thousands of hours of study needed to get to even my current high-intermediate, low-advanced level of Chinese.

My mindset inspired my action.  My mindset said “keep going”, and my action was to go to www.dfdaily.com and keep reading newspaper articles.

And that’s why my accomplishment is unimpressive.  It’s unimpressive because anybody possessing a mindset for success could accomplish learning Chinese, or any other worthwhile goal.

But it seems impressive to others, I think, because they misunderstand what’s needed to be successful.  For example, some of my friends—fed up with their jobs—talk about starting a business.  But they have been unsuccessful because:

1. Fair-weather efforts.  They try for a while: they write a business plan, tell their buddies about it… and then nothing.
2. Stronger value on “knowing everything beforehand” rather than action.  They think they don’t “know enough” to be successful, and as such don’t try.
3. Truly believing that barriers are holding you back.  “What if I’m not successful?”  “What if I’m not good enough?”… and therefore not trying.
4. High emphasis on short-term results.  “Only 80 views in my first 2 weeks of blogging?  It’s all over!”

Have you noticed any of these attributes when you try to accomplish your goals?

The solution is to adopt the proper mindset—“The Success Mindset”—to guide your actions and make you apt to be successful in your endeavors.

The Success Mindset is more of a lifestyle.  It’s not something you compartmentalize, and use only on weekends when you want to undertake a new project.  It’s the way you think about all of your actions, and the framework you use to make all of your decisions.

The Success Mindset:

Valuing success over distractions; jettisoning slovenly dispositions. 

What do you do in your free time?  Watch TV or relax, or work on your business plan?  People with a success mindset actually don’t find it enjoyable to waste time.  Being successful is much cooler than that.

Proper sense of temporality: ability to discount the need for immediate gratification.  For example, some of the world’s most successful companies—e.g. Microsoft, Apple and Facebook—were founded years before becoming massively successful.  Do you think these companies would still exist if Gates, Jobs and Zuckerberg gave up after 3 months?

Scaling one’s efforts.  Scaling, in start-up parlance, means a business model that leverages the fledgling company’s current strengths, and smoothly continuing to construct the business at it expands: in other words, “having a plan, and not doing too much (or too little) at any given time”.  Do you try to do everything at once, get burned out, and then give up?  Or do you usually have a plan?

Proper Understanding of Failure: In middle school and high school, I lost 8 student council elections before claiming the ultimate prize: student body president my senior year.  You might say I was obsessed.  I say, I understood that “failure” was not something to be feared, and believed that I would be successful in the long run.  Actually, I kind of like failure, because it’s a sign that I learned, and can do better next time.

Developing the success mentality:

So how do you transition from where you are now to developing an all-encompassing success mentality?  Pages and pages have been written on this topic by me and others.  I recommend starting to develop the success mentality by accomplishing these things:

Have a disinterested, objective perspective (so as to not be held back by limiting beliefs imposed by yourself, society, etc.)

I use the fancy word “disinterested” because it describes the ideal perspective perfectly: impartial and free from bias.  A disinterested perspective is important because it means having few preconceptions and being willing to form opinions based on fact and argumentation.  Think of how many opinions you form based on a “hunch” or irrelevant factors: “the only way I can make money is by having this job I don’t like”.  “I need to watch 3 hours of TV daily to unwind.  What a stressful day!”  A disinterested perspective would say “I can make money through my job, but are there some other options?”, and “I like to watch TV, but do I really need to, and am I really getting value from doing so?”

Good habit formation.  Good habit formation is important because it allows you to automatically want to do things that make you successful.

This is one of my favorites, for exactly the reason that so many people think they “can’t do it”.

The reality is that most of us are excellent at forming habits.  We’re just used to feeling pressure to get us started.  Think of school kids: don’t they get their homework done, though they’d rather play video games?  Think of you: don’t you go to work, even though you’d rather be at home?

Good habits that lend towards the success mindset are:

• Spending free time well
• Constantly reading and learning
• Lowering the importance of short-term goals

Most of us have trouble because we think the pain and discomfort felt at first will persist.  But we know (thinking about it logically, from a disinterested perspective), that the discomfort subsides quickly.

Unwavering drive to improve. Successful people are also humble people: they recognize their deficiencies and want to improve, rather than being swallowed by their own ego and complacent.  Successful people make improvement a habit, and constantly endeavor to get better.

Do you actively try to better yourself, or are you “fine with things the way you are”?

Conclusion

Success isn’t magic.  My experience and observations have shown me that success is actually rather formulaic: it comes from a proper mindset, which in turn leads to actions that secure success.  If you actively challenge the bad habits and debilitating mindsets, you can accomplish you goals.  That is The Success Mindset.

We are all doing things in our life that we should drop immediately in order to live a happier life and be the person we truly want to be.

We have around 70 years of life (on average). 20 of those years are spent learning about people, love, work, money, and living a life of mistakes in order to make the next 50 years enjoyable. The latter 10 years of our life are spent slowing down. So, we really only have around 40 years to really make a difference and truly create a life that we love.

Dropping these 10 things will help you live a much happier, and more enjoyable life…

Drop the negative people around you

We all have negative people around us, and it’s easy for me to say just drop them, but you have to find a way.

Negative people are energy suckers, they suck the life out of you until you get down to their way of thinking. I am sure you can think of a few people just now who are like this. If you’ve ever seen Harry Potter you’ll know what a Dementor is, that’s what negative people are, Dementors in your life.

It can be tough if you work closely with someone who is like this, or have family members who are like this. Drop them gradually or stay out of their way as much as possible.

Another thing you can do is counteract all their negatives with positives, oh! they don’t like that, and the more you do it the more they will avoid you.

Drop caring about the mistakes you have made

Bit of a cliche this one: your mistakes in life serve as a reminder of what not to do in the future, simple as that.

Your mind set about mistakes is what makes all the difference here, you can be in two camps on mistakes:

Camp one: woe is me, I made a mistake I am such a loser, I totally embarrassed myself, I’ll never be able to show my face in public again.

Camp two: I made a mistake, sure as hell won’t be doing that again, but at least I learned what not to do.

Nobody, but nobody, has ever succeeded in life without failing a few times, so making mistakes is inevitable if you want to live a more successful and happier life.

Drop the past

Let me ask you a question about your past…

Can you go back and change it?

No!

So why dwell on things that have happened in the past when there is absolutely nothing you can do to change it, you can make amends for the past, you can say you’re sorry about something you’ve done in the past but the fact remains the past has happened and it can’t be changed.

The more you think about the past, the more your mind lives there, and it can be a hard slog getting back to living in the here and now, and looking forward to the future.

Drop your self portrait image

A self portrait is a painting or drawing of yourself that everyone can look at. Everyone will see something different, just like a piece of art, and so it is in life.

You are not the same person all the time to everyone you meet. You act differently depending on the people you are with at the time, you don’t speak or act the same way with your mates as you do with your parents, but really you should. You should have enough confidence to be the same with every single person who shares your life.

When you meet someone who is truly authentic they totally shine above everyone else, there’s no heirs and graces, you either take them the way they are or you don’t, simple as that. I believe that’s what we should be striving for in life.

We could take this a bit far and say ‘but Steve, I curse and swear when I’m at football matches, you wouldn’t expect me to talk to my mum like that would you.’ of course not, just quit the bloody swearing

Drop feeling sorry for yourself

Sometimes it’s great just to sit on the ‘poor me’ train and just let it roll into ‘Woe is me’ station, but the longer you are on that train the more difficult it is to get off it.

Give yourself a shake, you’ve only got a few years to make a difference in your life, and those around you, so jump off the ‘poor me’ train and head for ‘happyville’ central.

Sounds too easy doesn’t it, that’s because it is easy: buying a ticket for the ‘poor me’ train is a choice!

Drop saying yes all the time

There are times for saying yes and times for saying no.

When saying yes makes you feel uncomfortable, miserable or stressed, it’s then time to say no, however hard it may be, you need to find a way.

The first time you say no to someone, when you usually say yes, will empower you so much that it can turn your life around.

You could take this too far and say no to absolutely everything, but your only criteria for saying no is when it makes you feel uncomfortable, miserable or stressed. So if you’re taking on too much work, say no when it becomes too stressful, if you’re doing too much in your relationships just say no to pull back a bit.

Drop trying to please everyone

It’s impossible, literally impossible, to please everyone, even if you’re the nicest, most splendid, most lovliest, most loving person in the world there’s always someone who will not like you for some reason.

Let it go, it’s okay for some people not to like you, and it’s more than okay for you to stop going out of your way to try and please them.

Be yourself, and if someone doesn’t like you for being yourself at least you’ll respect yourself for being you.

Drop saying the right thing

The world has gone mad over the last few years, talking about what you can’t say, what you shouldn’t say, and what’s a bit risky.

I read on CNN recently that New York wants to ban the words ‘dinosaur’ and ‘evolution’ from standardized tests because they are considered controversial – WHAT! It’s mental with a capital M.

We shouldn’t be censoring what we say because we think someone might be offended, the only reason we think like this is because of our parents, the media, school, co-workers and friends; they are keeping us in check – to comply.

If we have an opinion about something we are entitled to speak our minds. I’m not saying you should try and offend everyone who gets in your way or speak up because you like the sound of your own voice, but if you have a strong opinion about something, speak up and let your voice be heard.

Drop your limiting beliefs

One of the most amazing gifts we, as humans, have developed over the last 100 years is knowing that we can change our beliefs, particularly our limiting beliefs.

We all have them, but a lot of the time we don’t recognize them.

To test your limiting beliefs let me ask you:

What do you truly want to do with your life?

If you know the answer, then the next questions is – What’s stopping you? Your answers will often reveal your limiting beliefs.

When you know your limiting beliefs you can then work on dropping them or replacing them with alternative more positive focused beliefs that will drive you forward in life.

Drop your limiting beliefs today and start working on new beliefs about yourself.

Drop worrying about the future

If you do your best today, your future has already been taken care of.

If you’re one of those positive people who always looks on the bright side and sees life as an endless adventure with only good outcomes, you should skip this post.

For the rest of us, this article offers some fresh insights into why we simply cannot trust our thoughts and what we can do about it.

Whether you’re in a state of transformation, having to make big decisions or trying to figure out the next phase of your life or career, your thoughts are often dictating how far you are willing to venture out of your comfort zone.

Most of us immediately think of all the negative outcomes, the failures that can happen, the worst possible scenarios or all of the other imaginative things your mind comes up with. This is a natural and automatic mechanism that has helped the human race survive for a long time. Long ago, when humans were still hunters and gatherers this instinct kept them from experiencing a lot of harm. In today’s world, however, these thoughts stand in the way of personal and professional success.

Often times we don’t even realize the impact of these negative thoughts right away and instead notice this feeling of uncertainty, fear and sometimes even panic. This affects how we view a situation and leaves us unable to move on and instead respond with sadness, stagnation and  frustration. The threat of the unknown keeps us treading water.

However, these negative outcomes are only guesses. You never know how a situation might turn out. You cannot look into the future and see where your actions lead you and neither can your thoughts. They’ve been wired over hundreds of thousands of years in order to think of the negative, but you can always turn it around.

Instead of constantly imagining the worst, why not force your brain to think of the best outcomes? They are just as likely to happen as the other ones.

Especially when you’re passionate about something, the positive scenarios are more likely to happen because you enjoy what you’re doing and you give it your best.

The future is full of opportunities and the ideas you have, the risks you would like to take, the changes that you want to make happen are absolutely possible. Don’t let your thoughts betray you and instead be proactive about it.

When you imagine your future and you notice these negative thoughts occupying your mind, push them away as being only one possible eventuality and focus on the positive sides of your plans. The more you do that the easier it will get to become a positive thinker and to take your future in your own hands without the constant self-sabotage you have been doing to yourself for so long.

I used to be a very, very insecure person. I saw the world as scary, harsh and life so difficult to live. I was always walking on what I thought was the safe side, which made me quite miserable. But my thoughts dictated that this lifestyle was the best, safest and the only one that would keep me out of harm. When I realized how much my thoughts were betraying me and my true potential and I started to distrust them, I quit my job without regretting it knowing that the world has more to offer for me than working at Starbucks. I decided not to continue my studies and focused solely on my business, which took off faster than I could have thought. I was walking more confidently, became more optimistic and took more risks. I saw a future that was full of possibilities and fun and I didn’t let those naysaying thoughts take over.

Sure, there will always be negative outcomes when you take a different and new approach and there will be some failures along the way. But those are there to learn from and grow. This is your life and you use those lessons to create new opportunities.

But you can only make this happen by immediately and completely mistrusting your thoughts.

I’m going to assume you exercise for your health and you’re busy. You don’t want to waste a lot of time.

And I’m going to assume you would prefer to reduce your chance of injury too.

If so, then there is a simple concept you can apply to your training that will dramatically reduce your chance of injury, increase your caloric burn, and raise your overall level of fitness.

To understand it, we just have to go back in time about 10,000 years.

The Training of a Troglodyte

Trog-lo-dyte: noun; a member of any of various peoples (as in antiquity) who lived or were reputed to live chiefly in caves

So, let’s call our cave dweller Trog.

Trog lived at least 10,000 years ago in a hunter-gatherer world. Exercise was random; fractal. Hunting to eat, climbing trees, running, fighting, sprinting, hauling heavy stuff. It was part of his very existence and he moved, naturally, through the entire scope of human movement – what’s known as the six degrees of freedom of human motion – and trained his muscles, tendons, heart and lungs – his entire being – along the way.

When we move, our bodies travel through space in very defined pathways. These pathways are the six degrees of freedom.

Look at the image and you’ll see what looks like three large sheets of glass inserted through the body. Each one of these sheets is a plane. So, when you bend forward at the waist, you move through one plane, when you bend sideways, you move through another and when you twist or turn, you move through another.

A degree of freedom is just a displacement or movement of the body in a particular manner (and includes the three planes of motion):

1. Moving up and down (heaving or up);
2. Moving left and right (swaying);
3. Moving forward and backward surging) – e.g. bending
4. Tilting forward and backward (pitching);
5. Turning left and right (yawing); – turning
6. Tilting side to side (rolling) – bending sideways

Why The Six Degrees of Freedom Matter to You

Most of us don’t hunt (for our meals at least), sprint for safety, wrestle (except with a remote). So, we “exercise” as a way of developing or maintaining our bodies.

Most exercise routines focus on one or two movement planes and 1 or 2 degrees of freedom at the most. For example, if your routine is pushups, pull ups, squats, lunges, and an overhead press, you’re moving mostly in one plane of motion or direction. As a result, you can develop weakness in the muscles, tendons, ligaments that are not used during those movements. Over time, this is how you develop muscle imbalances and even over-use injuries.

Optimal health is dependent on optimal movement: balanced, strong, fluid motion. Trog achieved this through his daily existence. We have to plan our movements through training since many of us are desk jockeys. We have to think about how to use the six degrees of freedom to achieve a balanced, strong body.

Now, this may sound difficult but here are a couple of examples, using a few of the exercises I listed above, to give you an idea.

How to Change Your Exercise to Move More Like Trog

You can get the benefit of more degrees of freedom in your exercises by adding planes of motion to your movements or by resisting movements into another plane of motion.

Push Up: The push-up, as typically performed, has one degree of freedom – moving up and down – but is also resisting another movement – swaying. If you fail to hold the push up position – body straight – and allow the hips to drop, that is a swaying motion.

To add another plane of motion to the push up, at the top of the push up position, move into a what I call a “windmill” position (see the image). Hold for three, slow, deep breaths. Then return to the starting position of the push up, do a push up, and at the top, go into the windmill in the opposite direction. By doing this, you’ve added another plane of motion to the push up and two degrees of freedom  (moving right and left). So, the push up now has two planes of motion and three degrees of freedom.

Lunge: The lunge has two degrees of freedom: moving forward and moving up and down. You’ll need a staff, broom handle, or a light bar for this drill. In a standing position, hold the staff directly overhead. Now perform a lunge. At the bottom of the lunge, turn your body to the side of the knee that is up (see image). You’ve now added another plane of motion (one degree of freedom) giving the lunge three degrees of freedom.

Bicep Curl: I generally am not a fan of isolated body part exercises like a bicep curl but this drill has a twist.

By standing on one leg and holding the dumbbell in the opposite hand, you create an asymmetrical load. So, as you perform the curl, the combination of the dumb bell and standing on one leg exerts a force in a second plane of motion. And although this doesn’t technically add a degree of freedom to the movement, it gives your muscles a new force to adapt to.

Almost any exercise can be adapted to either add another plane of motion or resist moving into another plane. And as you do this, your body is forced to adapt to a wider variety of loads and movements. Much more Trog-like.

Trog moved without thinking about it through the six degrees of freedom and developed a strong, lithe body as a result. With a little bit of planning and thought, you can create a similar effect in your exercise routine.

Thanks for reading and let me know your views on Trog and the six degrees of freedom. To learn more cool stuff like this, click here.

Over the last few months I have been a busy little bee working on a new Guided Meditation program called The Re-Awakening.  Myself and Angela Artemis have developed this into a full blown program designed to help someone rid themselves of stress, anxiety and depression – bold claims I know, such is the belief we have in the program.

But I don’t want to tell you all about the program, rather I’d like to share with you the story of how it came about.

The Story of the Re-Awakening Guided Meditation Program

We all know the many benefits of meditation, there have literally been thousands of studies which show how beneficial meditation can be for physical, mental, and emotional health.  However I realised pretty early on that there was something missing from my life and it couldn’t be categorised physically, mentally or emotionally.

I believe there is something that overrides all of these areas and it’s the spiritual nature in all of us.  Now, when I say spiritual, I am in no way talking about a religious nature, this is not religious in any way shape or form, however you may interpret it that way.  I believe the spiritual nature inherent in all of us, the part of us that is in touch with intuition, the part that has higher thinking capabilities, the part that overrides the logic, emotion and the physical.  It’s a place I have glimpsed on so many occasions when I was younger but it was such a brief glimpse that it seemed unreal.  I wanted to get more, longer lasting glimpses of this elusive higher nature we all have.  So my quest began….

The Path of Meditation

My quest took me on the path of meditation….

Now if you’ve ever looked into meditation you’ll know there are literally hundreds of ways of doing it: Mindfulness Meditation, Mantra Meditation, Transcendental Meditation, Breathe Meditation, Zen Meditation, Tai Chi Meditation, Kundalini Meditation, and hundreds more…

How on earth do you pick the one that’s right?

Well, as in any area of life, you pick one and try it out for size.

I decided for Transcendental Meditation. I went along to a meeting and met a strange woman who told me about her practice and how she would help me, and how I would be given a special mantra to say and how it would only cost me £640 ($1,100)…What! I decided to buy a book instead but it didn’t give me the techniques and the special mantra, it was all very secretive.

So I decided to try Breathe Meditation at home, really simple stuff, no special mantra, no cost, but after a few months I kept on asking myself Is this working? Am I sitting in the correct position, am I concentrating hard enough, I am concentrating too hard, do I pay attention to my thoughts or let them go…so many questions.

After a few months of trying various techniques and going to classes I came across something called Guided Meditations….Great, I could focus on someone’s voice and get the benefit of relaxing at the same time – which is what meditation is – focused attention whilst relaxing in the moment.

I done this for a few months and the difference I felt was amazing: I was more relaxed at work, less stressed, I didn’t feel anxious anymore, and was starting to accept many more invitations to go out and I didn’t feel socially awkward…I’d cracked it….or so I thought….

Discovering Guided Meditations

When I got more into the practice of meditation I noticed the guided meditations I had weren’t very professional, the voice would grate on me a little, the music was too intrusive or they were just too long, some of them 40 minutes…

So I checked out the forums and a lot of people had the same issues…

That’s when I decided I wanted to do my own professional guided meditations.

Using all the feedback I found on forums and asking lots of questions, I wrote some great scripts, learned hypnosis to get my voice tone just right, searched for two months to find a composer for the music, found the optimal length of recordings, and put in some other special ingredients and I recorded a few and they were great, apart from one thing….they weren’t very professional sounding as I had recorded them with some cheap equipment…..

You can hear some of them here:

Guided Meditation – Overcoming Procrastination

Guided Meditation – Forest Walk

Guided Meditation – Well of The Wyrd

Guided Meditation – Intention Manifestation

Guided Meditation – Meeting Your Future Self

You’ll notice they are not professional sounding.

So I bought some professional equipment, software and made my office a sound studio, spending thousands of dollars to do so, and the outcome….much better, apart from one thing…

Learning Voice Tone

The next thing I had to overcome was learning how to speak in a relaxing, calm way and to induce a feeling of relaxation.  So, again I took a hypnotherapy course and learned it all  and I learned the secret three words that could induce anyone to relax.  So I incorporated all that into the Guided Meditation scripts, and recordings.

Meeting Angela Artemis

In the forums there was a lot of talk about male voices and female voices. About 50% of people preferred a female voice…As soon as I started thinking about finding a female business partner to record these with, I received an email from a blogging friend Angela Artemis…. about a guided meditation she had done …Perfect!

After speaking to Angela it turns out she teaches this kind of stuff and so The Re-Awakening was born. And Now After a few years in the making, myself and Angela Artemis have created, what we think is one of the best Guided Meditation Programs on the market.

Okay you’ve read the story now it’s time to pick up the program.

 Listen to a Guided Meditation

Click This Link to Buy The Re-Awakening Guided Meditation Program