While the success and effectiveness of a logo is often gauged by its ability to communicate various meanings simultaneously (see Bank of America’s logo), slogans are similarly successful when they take the form of double entendres.

Double entendre slogans are nothing new, but recently I’ve noticed more and more across various marketing campaigns. Curiously, some of the brands compiled below have ubiquitous yet flat identities. This compilation is a work in progress; contributions are welcome in the comments below.

New York City’s YMCA
We’re Here for Good

MTA New York City Transit
Going Your Way

Chase
[Chase] What Matters

Salvation Army
Doing the Most Good

Adidas
Run Yourself Better

Parliament
The Perfect Recess

Old Spice
Smell Like a Man, Man

AMC
Story Matters Here

United States Census 2010
It’s In Our Hands

Dear Verizon, @verizon, @verizonsupport, et al.,

I write to notify you that your company, Verizon Communications Inc., is in violation of the following:

• poor customer service
• severe disconnect between presumably connected departments
• general incompetence, ineptiude, and disregard for the customer
• the use of voice recognition menus on your toll free lines

The following documentation of a series of very, very unfortunate events serves to underscore the above violations. Please review at your earliest convenience (assuming this level of time frame exists for you), and contact me directly with a plan of action to rectify the situation.

1/14/10
Call placed to set up a DSL Dry Loop business account at place of business. Estimated installation date: 7 business days from today.* This is frustrating, but optimism prevails.

1/18/10
Router arrives in the mail. General optimism is sustained.

1/21/10, 1/23/10
Auotmated call received from Verizon stating a technician will arrive on 1/25/10, between the hours of 8am - 5pm. Impressed by automated message and implied notion that a Verizon technician actually works 9 hours a day.

1/25/10, 5:01pm
Verizon technician has not arrived. Call placed to Verizon to check on technician status. While Verizon cannot directly contact the technician or the technician’s dispatcher, a computer made out of an empty aquarium and Atari controller tells the representative that the technician now has an estimated arrival time of 7:41pm.* Curiously enough, the dispatch cannot be rescheduled for another time, as that department conveniently closed at 5pm.

1/25/10, 8:15pm
Technician has not arrived and beer is gone. Another call is placed to Verizon, at which point the only helpful representative to date connects the dots to determine that an error has occurred in the dispatch system. Contrary to what was previously ascertained, this representative is able to schedule a dispatch for 9am the following morning.

1/26/10, 10am
Technician has not arrived; call placed to Verizon support. In an interesting (and now unsurprising) twist of events, representative states that the building is at DSL capacity, and the order cannot be fulfilled. Ever.*

1/26/10, 10:30am
In an act of desperation, call placed to Time Warner Cable. Time Warner offers a 5MBPS download/1MBPS upload service for a crippling $109/month, with a ten day installation lead time. Verizon finally wins at something.

1/26/10, 11am
Delirious, cold, and still out of beer, a philosophical inquiry into “customer service” ensues, the conclusion of which advances that Verizon should value all customers equally, and thus bring the building to an agreeable capacity. Verizon = democracy = customer service bailout!

1/26/10, 11:05am
Call placed to Verizon, and a brief summary of the above bullet points is laid out. Verizon checks their system, only to find that our building can support our Internet needs. Bummer though; our order has already been canceled without our authorization.

1/26/10, 11:07am
Let’s start over! “What’s your full name? A good number to reach you at? What type of service are you looking for?” Estimated set up date: 7 business days from today.

Compensation will be accepted in the following ways: high speed Internet service, acknowledgment that you’ve read Brave New World and watched “Brazil” while on break.

*Verizon representative ends phone call with “Thank you for choosing Verizon. We hope you’ll recommend our service to your friends and family.”

Sometimes you just have to get aggressive. Photographed in Sunset Park, Brooklyn.

Update: Our photo entry takes first prize in Roaring Lion Energy Drink’s Photo Safari Contest!

Hi, if you are coming to this site via Internet Explorer 6, you might not be getting the best experience possible. Honestly, I can’t even begin to think about what your entire experience on the internet must be like? (…probably like riding a bike on the highway while cars blow by you on their way to Costco to get gallons of mayonnaise and 60-inch plasma TV’s). How will you ever be able to use this website?????? You wont. You’re an asshole and your browser is an asshole. So look, I’m going to be honest: I kind of hate you. BUT we c-a-n make this work. Here is what I am going to need you to do: fire up your Toshiba ShitBook© that weighs about 45 pounds, wipe the Cheeto dust off the screen, download Safari ( http://www.apple.com/safari/download/ ), delete Internet Explorer from your computer, punch yourself in the face, and get me a pulled pork sandwich.

Lifted from New to York.

This was Johnson’s painting gallery/man cave. The room-in-a-hill features wine racks in the bathroom and gallery panels that rotate, permitting Andy Warhol to push Julian Schnabel’s paintings out of view when David Whitney stopped by.

Warhol’s portrait of David Whitney hangs in the painting gallery.

The Glass House and its environs is totally worth the visit. The House’s trust gives tours in small groups; find information on reserving tickets here.