“The real issue is not whether you married the right person; it’s more an issue of your being the right person for your spouse.”

–H. Norman Wright: Communication: Key to your marriage.

There are times in counseling when a struggling married Soldier will come to me discussing his marital issues. The person will bring up his or her doubts in the person that he or she married. They will bring up some familiar statements:

“Maybe it was not meant to be.”

or

“Maybe I married the wrong person.”

The question sends the relationship in a tailspin—making the assumption that there is something wrong with the other person and the best way is to end the relationship-because they are simply not the right person and, therefore, will never be right.  There is no right or wrong choice—I do believe, through observation, some people are more challenging than others—but it all comes down to where YOU choose to be in the relationship.

If you are asking these questions; ask yourself—how can I make a change to meet my spouses needs?

Turn the focus back to yourself for the solution.

You can not control your spouse—no matter how hard you try.  And many times, we try to make the spouse that right person—when in actuality, we need to adjust to them. You can only control yourself—the variable that you have control over in building the relationship is you—so take change and discover ways to become the right person that your spouse desires you to be. Amazing things will happen as you take this step—even more amazing will happen, if you both take those steps.

Through an opportunity called Book Sneeze, I was provided a copy of “Your 100 Day Prayer” by John I. Synder. One of the endorsements in the front cover correctly puts this book in perspective. Cecil Murphy says;

“If you already enjoy a daily, satisfying prayer life, don’t read this book. But if you’re looking for something to stimulate you to become more faithful and systematic [this book] offers you an opportunity to focus on talking to God daily and making it an ongoing habit.”

This was the same reaction that I had while reading and working through this book.

While I am not perfect and still have room to grow, I already enjoy a system of prayer in my life.  This book doesn’t move me me forward.  I believe, however, that this book would have moved me forward several years ago when I was struggling with finding that “groove” for my prayer life.

“Your 100 Day Prayer” gives the reader a daily devotional passage to read—from scripture and then from the author, followed by a brief guided prayer. Acted on daily—with some serious commitment, a reader could use this book as a jump start to building a solid prayer life. The challenge is in committing to go through this book everyday. Like prayer—it isn’t rocket science; the struggle is in the daily getting up and taking time to conduct personal devotions.  This book gives the reader the tools to have something available to reflect on during that time alone with God.

I do recommend this book, if you are starting out or struggling with establishing a personal devotional life.

This year’s highlight gift for me was a new Diana Mini camera.

Functioning as a “Retro” camera, this 35mm film camera takes half frame photos and square format pictures.  It is a plastic camera.  I’m still learning how it all works—which is a challenge. It should be, but with today’s all automatic cameras going back old school takes an adjustment.

The photo above was take with ISO100 Color Negative print film (35mm). It was taken at an f-stop of f-8. In this day and age of quick photos—and quick edits, we don’t get the raw images you do with film.  You also don’t get the experience that comes with shooting film.

I enjoy shooting digital. But, I still have a love for film—the entire process is an experience and not just a “click.”

For several years, I have posted reviews and commentary on comicbookday.com. I decided that I want to my comic book thoughts with you here at chaplainandrews.com, but focus more on my collection at comicbookday.com. I recently moved all of those posts to chaplainandrews.com to make them easier for you to find.

On an early post, I wrote;

When I began reading comics, I was living alone at Fort Campbell getting ready to go to Iraq for the first time.  My wife and kids were at home in South Carolina and I needed something to do to keep me busy.  So every week, I would look forward to having a comic book day on Thursday.  This was a time were I would spend some time at the comic book shop followed by a trip to Pizza Hut.  The Thursday night, many times also provided me with reading material for Friday nights when the week was done and the loneliness would set in.  Many weekends, I began to go to Nashville to visit other comic book shops and to build my collection.

My collection has grown to over 3600 and still growing.

Over the next several months and years, I plan to highlight portions of my collection at comicbookday.com. There, I will be researching various parts of my growing collection and showing the readers what I find interesting in my collection.  I am moving from a written blog to a showcase gallery of my collection, so that I may enjoy showing off what I have inside my 26-plus comic book boxes.

I invite you, the readers of chaplainandrews.com, to stop by comicbookday.com to enjoy seeing my collection of comic books!

I visited one of my uncle yesterday morning and was schooled in the advanced techniques of genealogy.

I haven’t been formally researching my genealogy for very long, but I do have a lot of stuff—and some cool toys.  I learned that to really be good, I need to go back to the basics of genealogy by using paper.

As my uncle was showing me the ends and outs of his research, his base research was hand written on Family Unit Charts like the one above and placed neatly in a notebook. This acted as a guide to all of his history as he sought to prove each fact and each relationship.

I found a very good chart on the Mid-Continent Public Library website is the genealogy resources of the Midwest  Genealogy Center. On this site there are plenty of charts and instructions.  The one I have sent out to my family members is a pdf that can be filled out and saved—so it really looks nice when it is printed out.

If you are interested in starting a family tree, I can not stress to you the importance of these family sheets.  They give information to start from, as well as pass down information to the next generation that they may desire for their own sense of heritage.

In Thursday’s New York Times, McDonald’s had a full page advertisement explaining their changes to the Happy Meal to make them more nutritional.

I was very interested in seeing  the last paragraph that explains McDonald’s commitment to the customer.

The line of interest is:

…Our job is more than serving our customers. It’s continually earning their trust.

This is the essence of Enchantment.

If we could all go beyond simply serving, to continually earning people’s trust in everything we do—that would be the ticket to success. Serving someone only effects the moment—earning the trust builds the relationship with the other person to the extent that they return for more.

This weekend, I was able to go back home to see my parents in upstate South Carolina.

Every time, I go through there, I stop in to get a copy of the latest “Jail Report”. I am amazed that it actually interests me, but when you think of local news—this is as newsworthy as you can get.

Each week, you will be able to see all of the mug shots of people arrested within the last ten days. You’ll be able to enjoy “Fun with Captions” and play “Match the Convict to the Crime” (a matching game where you match the mug shot to the offence).

It is a short little paper, but for someone passing through it is interesting to see what people are up to in the little small towns.

This morning, I was asked to give a stress management briefing. Here is the outline that I used as talking points:

Stress Management Briefing

1. Welcome and Comments

2. Key Message: Effective stress management can reduce the effects of turbulence in your life.

· Describe Turbulence

3. Stress is Normal

· Everyone experiences stress

· Stress is the body’s response to the changes in our lives and to the threats to our safety and our self-esteem

· Common symptoms of stress include:

o A fast heartbeat.

o A headache.

o A stiff neck and/or tight shoulders.

o Back pain.

o Fast breathing.

o Sweating, and sweaty palms.

o An upset stomach, nausea, or diarrhea.

4. Stress is Controllable

· Immediate Response

o Respond to Activating Events

o Keep Things in Perspective

· Take Care of Yourself

o Remind yourself that the way you are feeling is normal

o Pray

o Take care of Physical Needs.

o Focus on the mission at hand.

o Stay tied in with buddies in your unit;

o Seek Help.

· Help Others

o Charities

o Church

5. Stress is Shared

· Others have Stress

· Talk to Them

· ACE: Suicide Prevention

6. Key Message: Effective stress management can reduce the effects of turbulence in your life.

This evening, I had the unique opportunity to visit the Med-Flight hangar as a part of the CERT program here in Chesterfield County, VA.

I had a great time learning about all that the pilots and crews do to ensure that people in need get the proper medical attention fast.

There were several lessons learned from my experience.

1. The crews in the sky are highly trained and highly qualified. I had the opportunity to speak with a crew and they are very knowledgeable and it was clear to me that they were the best of the best.

2. Med-Flight shows that interagency operations work.  While the Virginia State Police operate the helicopter, the Chesterfield EMS work inside, and the Virginia Emergency Management Agency controls the radio. It is a great example of government cooperation assisting the people of the state.

3. The aircraft goes very fast.  I know that sounds lame, but at over 160 mile per hour when they are in a hurry—this is a big deal. They can get near the North Carolina border in roughly 30-40 minutes. That is very comforting to know that medical care is that close, even if it is far away.

Again, I had wonderful time seeing what the Med-Flight crews work with and how they care for patients around the area.

Today, we’re looking at John chapter 11. John chapter 11; the story of Lazarus, who was raised from the dead by Jesus.

Some of you this morning may feel like you are at the end of your rope. You may feel you like you have nothing left to give. Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead and he can raise you up today if you only trust in him.

Our topic this morning asks the question; “Will everything turn out okay?”

Many of you are asking that question this morning. You see the world around us. You see the financial system. You see the wars. You see the hurricanes. And you’re asking the question whether or not everything will turn out okay?

I believe the Bible has the answers for us this morning as we ask that question.

In this morning, we are looking at John chapter 11 specifically verse 25.

the Bible says;

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” She said to him, “Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world.” (John 11:25-27 ESV)

Jesus is the resurrection and the life. When we ask the question; “Will everything turn out okay?” The answer lies in Jesus.

So my question today is the same question that Jesus asked Martha—he asked; “do you believe this?”

Have you come to a point in your life where, like Martha, you say;

“Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world.” (John 11: 27 ESV)

“Do you believe this?” You can believe this today.

The question we ask today is;

Will everything turn out okay?

It is an age-old question. It is a question that goes all the way back to the beginning of time.

The Bible says;

“In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.” (Genesis 1:1 ESV)

“And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening…” (Genesis 1:31a ESV)

God placed Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. And there was a tree in the center of the Garden, “the Tree Of Life” that God said that they should not eat from. .

There are so many things in our lives that we should not put in our bodies. It could be physical things, it could be mental things, or it could be words we hear. These things we should not go near!

One of these is alcohol. That’s right—alcohol. Alcohol is one of those things you should not take part in.

I read a story about a boy from Laguna Beach, California who was treated for hypothermia and extreme alcohol intoxication after falling from a 50 foot cliff just a couple weeks ago.

Reuters news service posted, last year, that alcohol is responsible for 4% of the deaths worldwide. That is more than AIDS. That is more than tuberculosis. And that is more than violence. There are things in our world that we should not put into our bodies.

And that’s what we see Adam and Eve there is a tree in the garden that they should not eat from and they ate of that fruit.

And, right there, sin entered the world. Sin entered the world by free choice of man. And you and I are sinners.

The Bible says; “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”(Romans 3:23 ESV)

We are all sinners.

And because of our sin, we deserve death.

Romans 5:12 says;

“… just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned.” (Romans 5:12 ESV)

So as we look at the question about whether or not everything will turn out okay, we must ask ourselves why is everything so bad?

Why are we asking the question in the first place?

And the reason why everything is so bad, is because we are sinners and we are separated from God.

We see hear in John 11, a man who had a sickness.

John 11:1 says;

Now a certain man was ill, Lazarus of Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. (John 11:1 ESV)

Lazarus was sick. We don’t know if he had pneumonia. We don’t know if he had appendicitis. We don’t know if he had cancer. What we know is that Lazarus was sick.

Lazarus was being cared for by Mary and Martha his sisters.

The second verse spells it out, exactly who Lazarus was:

It was Mary who anointed the Lord with ointment and wiped his feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was ill. So the sisters sent to him, saying, “Lord, he whom you love is ill.” (John 11:2-3 ESV)

These are people that Jesus loved.

And they were at the end of their rope. They were asking themselves—“will everything turn out ok?”

We find later in the story that Lazarus died because of that sickness. He died. Some of us have gone through deaths of loved ones. It is painful for those around. It is numbing, it is lonely, and it is empty. And that is what Mary and Martha are going through.

Now we see verse 17:

Now when Jesus came, he found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb four days. (John 11:17 ESV)

Verse 21:

Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. (John 11:21 ESV)

This is such a common response when things start to fall apart! If only, Jesus, you had been there!

Some of you have recently said the same things:

You may say “If only I hadn’t joined the Army!” You like the Army—but life back home feels as if it is falling apart.

“If only I hadn’t gotten married so young!” You love your spouse, but marriage is tough.

“If only I were there with your friend before he killed himself.”

And you ask “Will everything turn out ok?”

Verse 23

Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” Martha said to him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day.” Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die…” (John 11:23-26 ESV)

In verse 43, we see that Jesus prayed

When he had said these things, he cried out with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out.” The man who had died came out, his hands and feet bound with linen strips, and his face wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Unbind him, and let him go.” (John 11:43-44 ESV)

Lazarus rose from the grave command of Christ! All the people around him were watching Jesus to see if “everything would turn out OK.” And Jesus reminded them that he is the resurrection and the life!

Through trusting in Christ, these people found that only Jesus can make everything OK. Only Jesus can raise the dead! Jesus made the impossible possible and revived the dead lifeless body of Lazarus.

And he can raise your life as well.

Every single one of us have a sickness this morning. We are sick before God—and that sickness is sin. It runs through our veins and haunts us at every corner and without Christ it will lead us to death.

The consequences of sin in our society are devastating. Many times—it leads directly to death. Some of your friends have been shot and killed in the street because of sin. Many times it leads to long time hurt and emptiness–some of you have experienced the trauma of sexual assault because of sin. Many times it leads to loneliness and isolation—as some of you know what it means when your parent split up and go their separate ways.

The consequences of sin in our lives are equally as devastating. You may have committed adultery, which is sex outside of marriage and you’ve discovered the emptiness and the hurt that it brings. You may have harbored hate in your heart—that Jesus says is equal to murder—and the only person you have hurt is yourself. You may have lied and have fought to keep the lie as your story and the harder you’ve tried the story simply unravels all the more, receiving the consequences not only for the act that you wanted hidden, but the consequences of no one trusting your word.

We are separated from a Holy God because of our sin.

The Good news is that Jesus came.

And the Bible says;

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16 ESV)

The story of Lazarus contains the shortest verse in the Bible:

John 11:35 says:

Jesus wept.(John 11:35 ESV)

Jesus wept because he loved Lazarus and Mary and Martha. He was moved by the grief that surrounded him. And God loves you. He loves you so much that he sent his son—for you. To die in your place.

You deserve death. I deserve death. But Jesus died in our place because he loves you and me.

Here in this story, we see that Jesus can raise the dead. And this morning he can raise you up as well when you trust in him.

So, I come to you this morning with the same question that Jesus asks Martha; “Do you believe this?”

This is the vital question. The question of whether or not things turn out okay depends on what you do with Christ.

We spend a lot of our time to worry about what can happen for 10 weeks or fifteen weeks depending on how long you are here. We spend a lot of our time worrying about what may happen on a deployment. We spend a lot of time worrying about what will happen when we go home. We wonder whether our families will stay together, whether our children will grow up to be successful, or whether we will get a job.

But the question today that is more important than any other question that you will ever have. The question today will determine how you will spend eternity.

Jesus asked Martha; “Do you believe this?”

And I am asking you as well.

“Do you believe this?”

What are you going to do with Christ? He died on a cross to make your eternity is secure.

He says;

… “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” (John 11:25-26 ESV)

You need to settle whether or not everything will turn out okay.

This morning, I believe God is speaking to you today—drawing you to him. But, you must take a stand. You must publically make this commitment—settling to yourself the decision that you have made.

In a moment, I am going to say a prayer and Cliff will come and play some music. This is your chance to stand up and come forward for Christ. You may come forward because you need prayer. You may come forward because you are a Christian and have gone astray—and you want to settle things with God.

But, you also may be one who has never known Christ before. You have been wondering how things will turn out—and it doesn’t look good.

Today, you can make that change. Today, you can answer the question of Christ and say;

“Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world.” (John 11: 27 ESV)

—–

This sermon was preached at Heritage Chapel, Fort Lee, VA on 13 November 2011. All scripture marked ESV: The Holy Bible : English standard version. 2001. Wheaton: Standard Bible Society.