That smart, cool blue summer suit goes perfectly with the enormous artwork and his tie, even better. We love it when people dress like the décor. We should do it way more often. It’s fun and looks great!

But why, collectively as a society, have we all turned our backs on seascapes? They once graced living room walls of many an American home, usually above the sofa. Where have all the seascapes gone?

Here’s to seascapes of any scale, dressing like the décor and YOU!

Charles Phoenix
Los Angeles
August 26, 2010

The somewhat larger-than-life cutout oranges say “Florida.” He looks happier than she does and holds what might just very well be an empty glass milk cold cream jar. I wonder if she knitted his sensible sweater vest? Whoever knitted it made it too short, but it’s the thought that counts.

Whoever did the interior designer work here is clearly gifted. Various utensils hang harmoniously up and down like musical notes of a song. White wooden cabinet doors double as a craft gallery. Among the centered fish decals are four crocheted pieces including a blonde doll being hung, a useful and decorative rose and, my fave, a grape hot pad made by crocheting over bottle caps.

Corporate Americana would be proud of the product placement here. On a make-shift, hang-on shelf, a box of Brillo pads is haphazardly placed on top of the upside-down glasses, including a purple anodized aluminum tumbler missing from its multicolored mates. That optimistic Brillo font is instantly recognizable. Just below “Mr. Short-Vest’s” left arm is the neck and cap of a Heinz Ketchup bottle. Heinz first served its salted, sweetened and color enhanced tomato-based goop in 1876. Sitting ready to be used on the counter top is Americana’s favorite deep-frying agent, Crisco. The fine folks at Proctor and Gamble proudly introduced those handle-less paint cans of grease in 1911.

I’m sure we all have the urge to deep fry more often than we do. But our fear is what that grease will do to the walls surrounding our cook top. This slide is indeed a fine example of what happens when you fry too much. The evidence goes way beyond the Crisco spatter and fume-saturated wax paper tacked to the walls. The walls themselves seem to have been deep-fried.

Here’s to Florida, the too-short vest, Brillo, Heinz and everything ever deep-fried in Crisco,

Charles Phoenix
Los Angeles
August 20, 2010

Speaking of the floor can you believe how much of it there is? Was someone crunching numbers here? Don’t they realize they can fit more seats in that spacious, gracious flying machine? And, for that matter, don’t they realize they don’t need to feed us?

Back in the tasty days of flying food service, they never really served “food,” they served us “airplane food.” It was special and different. Nobody really liked it, but of course we ate it because we were bored, hungry and, lets face it, the presentation was charming. Quaint scale and compartmentalized, airplane food looked like a dressed-up, high-altitude cousin of the TV dinner. Why, all of the sudden, am I craving chicken or beef?

It’s understandable that airlines don’t feed us anymore and why there is so much anxiety associated with flying the friendly skies these days. But I do think some tension and boredom could easily be relieved if the flight attendants would walk up and down the aisle showing off totally fake plastic versions of the in-flight meals used to serve! Not only would that be entertaining it would be educational. And while they’re at it, they can model some vintage stewardess uniforms too. Then flying would be fun for everyone!

Here’s to spiral staircases, stewards and stewardesses, airplane food and YOU!

Charles Phoenix
Los Angeles
August 11, 2010

We’re not sure if this centered and stable guy is serving cocktails or selling wood paneling or both. Whatever he’s doing, he’s certainly well-dressed for the occasion in that snappy, smart three-piece tweed suit. It goes oh-so well with his pencil mustache and sinister slicked-back hairdo.

Stylistically, the sparsely stocked bar is a moderne masterpiece. Rarely do we see honey blond knotty pine so curvaceous and cutout. Plus, it’s a hand puppet theater waiting to happen. Imagine the possibilities with three stages!

Speaking of bars…yesterday while driving down the street daydreaming up new summer cocktail recipes, I dreamed up a new drink. It’s called the MAI-TAIGARTIA. You guessed it – it’s half mai tai and half margarita! Rim a glass with half sugar and half salt and serve with a maraschino cherry, a pineapple chunk and lime wedge skewered on one of those ‘lil cocktail umbrellas that we all love SO much. You may want to nickname this cocktail the “TIGER” because it’s probably gonna make you growl.

Cheers to wood paneling, tweed suits, MAI-TAIGARTIAS and YOU!

Quickie note: “Like” me on FACEBOOK so we can spread the joy of AMERICANA even more!

Charles Phoenix
Los Angeles, CA
August 4, 2010

As if attempting to awaken from a dream, this bug-eyed lady grasps her chin with one hand as she clutches her brand new, bright and shiny electric skillet in the other. The man passing by doesn’t notice a thing. But ladies are completely engaged in the electrified moment. Few things say “Happy Birthday” like a good ‘ol electric skillet.

We have the fine folks at Sunbeam to thank for first mass-producing electric skillets in 1953, calling them automatic fry pans. A ‘fry-guide” came each one. The company began in Chicago in the 1890s manufacturing sheep sheering tools. Pan fried lamb anyone???

Growing up we certainly had our fair share of delectable and delicious dinners cooked in an electric skillet. But…does anyone use an electric skillet anymore?

Here’s to the joy of electric skillets, Sunbeam and YOU!!!

Charles Phoenix
Los Angeles
July 27, 2010

Recently I went back in the Test Kitchen to concoct a new dish that we could all serve up as a magnificent main course. My goal was to make something that just about everyone would enjoy.

So I began by daydreaming about my two favorite foods my mom made for when I was a kid: enchiladas and lasagna. Moments later my imagination was inspired and my spirit soared when the culinary gods spoke to me and said “Layer them together in the same casserole dish and call it INCHEZONYA.” Because it’s a new addition to the gastronomical galaxy, I spelled the name out in green onions on a lasagna noodle and placed it like a sash on a beauty queen. People want to know what they are eating.

Who knew enchilada sauce and pasta sauce blended so harmoniously; that tortillas and noodles duet so deliciously? All that with pounds of meat and mounds of melted cheese…it’s yummy, yummy in everyone’s potluck tummy! But don’t eat too much…it is called INCHEZONYA after all. And you’ll want to save some room for a big piece of Cherpumple for dessert!

INCHEZONYA – SO easy to make and bake! I invite you to try this in your test kitchen! Please SEND PIX!!!

• 2 lbs ground beef
• 24 corn tortillas
• 1 box lasagna noodles
• 1 lg can red enchilada sauce
• 1 lg can green enchilada sauce
• I lg jar chunky tomato pasta sauce
• 2 cups grated mozzarella cheese
• 2 cups grated sharp cheddar cheese
• 6 green onions

Prep:

1. Sauté ground beef until done
2. Cook lasagna noodles according to box instruction
3. Mix sauces together in large bowl

Layer:

1. Cover the bottom of a large aluminum roasting pan with about 1 cup of sauce. Cover the bottom of the pan with 12 tortillas dipped in sauce.
2. On top of that, layer about third of cheese and half the meat. Cover with sauce and repeat layers ending with a layer of lasagna noodles on top.
3. Add the rest of the sauce. Cover with foil and bake for 35 minutes. Remove from oven, remove foil and cover with the last third of the cheese. Put back in over for 10 minutes or until the cheese is perfectly melted.

For the INCHEZONYA title banner: Spray a cooked lasagna noodle on a foil covered baking sheet with Pam cooking spray. Cut green onions to spell out INCHEZONYA. Put it in the broiler for a couple of minutes. Remove just before the green onions begin to brown. Let cool. Cut the leftover green onions into confetti size pieces and throw them on the melted cheese right after you take it out of the oven. Place the title banner and serve with Americana pride!

Here’s to my Inchezonya, your Inchezonya and YOU!

TIX AND INFO HERE!

Comedy slide show performance, Cherpumple demonstration in the Test Kitchen, hosting Miss Modernism pageant, AND FREE MOD ADVICE!

TIX & INFO HERE!

This slide isn’t about garden hoses snaking though lawns of mid-western/mid-century ranch homes or polished and proper suburban sisters posing with their hands behind their backs like they’ve been handcuffed. This slide is about bold bright candy colored skirts. Both are pleated, one tiered twice the other tiered thrice. Girls, give your stylist a raise! And that cement walkway you’re posing on is a great catwalk for a twirly fashion show waiting to happen.

Speaking of siblings in matching attire, or in this case almost matching, I can’t recommend dressing your kids alike enough. Better yet, dressing your whole family alike. Extra points if the clothes are home-sewn and extra, extra points if they’re made from your old curtains! Think Sound of Music. Make a day of it by showing off your festive fashions at your family’s favorite destination. Yes, people will stare, and there will be some jealousy, but remember you are inspiring them to do the same. The highlight of your dressed-alike experience will be taking picture portraits to be cherished by future generations for countless years to come.

WHY collectively as a society have we all turned our backs on dressing alike? This tradition and the unforgettable memories of documenting it will bond your family forever in a way that ONLY dressing alike can do. What are you waiting for? And don’t forget to do this at LEAST once every year. Your kids may not thank you right away but their therapist sure will!

Here’s to tiered pleats, dressing alike and YOU!

Charles Phoenix

July 20, 2010
Los Angeles, CA

P.S. Join me on FACEBOOK for even more Americana FUN!!!