Chasing Myself...

Sucks to Be ME

noreply@blogger.com (Crazed Mom) — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 04:57:00 +0000

Yeah. Yeah. Everyone thinks that.

Everyone thinks about themselves.

I think at some point in every one's life they sink to the bottom. I remember doing bobs in the deep end of the pool for hours and hours in the summer.

I'd touch bottom then sprung up to jump out of the water for one cystalline second...

SPLASH! Back in the water like a fish!

I cannot see the top of the water at this particular moment.

No job. ALL ask applicant to be "fully graduated of a post-grad program" which only exists in those places that want to spend the time and money to train someone in phlebotomy and ivs and other assorted actions I was not taught in the LPN program.

Hmmmmmmm, no one ever told me~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it was gonna be easy.

But jeezo no one ever warned of how rough things can get either.

Nothing Much

noreply@blogger.com (Crazed Mom) — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 04:50:00 +0000

No answers to applications. I'm going to need to bet some real world clothes and go out on foot to apply in person. OY.

I HATE buying clothes. Nothing fits the right way. I have no idea what kind if clothes to get. I have a serious budget issue so I may be hitting GoodWill. I found a dress for graduation for $8 at Ross so I am sure I can find something more professional than mommy for under $100.

Everything else is pretty much the same. Spouse is racheting up the stress factor. Not on purpose. It's just how he gets.

And the days keep coming and going.

My Wierd Life

noreply@blogger.com (Crazed Mom) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 05:33:00 +0000

I am sitting here with a 45 pound pit bull on my left side, hogging the warm air from my laptop fan and he sleeps, barely fitting on the width of the couch. He wakes up once in a while and I rub his pink belly. He's a blue nose/pink nose pit bull so his nose is black with a bit of pink above it and his belly is tinted pink.

My spouse is in bed, asleep by 9p.m. He'll be awake at 5a.m. because I was too dumb to notice his biorhythms while we were dating. I'm opposite in the sleep/wake cycle of life.

I filled out several job applications this weekend. I'm 47 and have NO experience looking for jobs or being interviewed. My many hours in PTA, and little league board and soccer mom and classroom volunteer extraordinaire did little to prepare me socially for the working world.

As most of you know I struggled greatly in the past year when it came to keeping my mouth shut, learning from listening instead of interaction, to NOT ask questions that made me seem too intelligent or as my director saw it, a little miss know it all.

If I stay quiet people think I'm judging or stuck up, if I open my mouth they know I'm an idiot cuz I can't stop myself from saying too much or saying something in a manner many people misunderstand up here in the Northwest. My East Coast/Midwest friends get sarcasm, no one here really does. After 20 years here I understand that. I have toned it down 98%.

I think I need manners lessons. Seriously. Or deportment. Because I cannot change my entire personality, I know cuz I have tried. I know I don't fit in here very well but it's where I am. Anyone have expertise in giving one a lobotomy????

AGAIN~~WHY??

noreply@blogger.com (Crazed Mom) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 22:23:00 +0000

RIP

Those killed at Food Hood

November 5, 2009

God Bless and heal the wounded,

both mentally and physically.

Thanks for The Support

noreply@blogger.com (Crazed Mom) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 05:17:00 +0000

My friends and silent supporters,

THANK YOU!

Thank you for reading.
Thank you for the empathy.
Thank you for merely showing up.

Without your support I could not have achieved my goals.

You held me up when I needed.
You made me laugh when I despaired.
You hugged me when I was sad, defeated, and ready to quit.

This is our success. I share it with you.

Thank you for being my friends.

To answer a question or two.....
Yes, I have plans to get my R.N. and my B.S.N. This is off in the future sometime when we have funding and experience. If things go the way I have dreamed I'll be in college in some capacity for the rest of my life.

I can't answer exactly how the NCLEX questions were different from what I expected. I'd like to keep my brand new license. :P I expected what the books said. I used Mosby's review book the most but I also dipped into Davis and a friend's book. Syntax was different that I was familiar with and critical thinking was needed to answer the questions. Who knew? SNERK.

Go in a good attitude, in a calm mood, and know the worst that can happen is to flunk. No one in my class has flunked. I had a class of 23 and I'm not sure how some of them made it through first quarter let alone boards. Know your facts but be ready to read each question twice before you hit the answer.

You folks are RADICALLY COOL. Thanks a million.

Extra Letters

noreply@blogger.com (Crazed Mom) — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 21:40:00 +0000

Janice Reijnaert, L.P.N.

Test Talk

noreply@blogger.com (Crazed Mom) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 04:29:00 +0000

well, well, well I learn for over a year how to take the test.

I get to the testing center.

I read first question.....................

First thought: THIS IS NOTHING LIKE THE 5000 QUESTIONS I HAVE BEEN DOING!!!!!

I did my best.

I do not know if I did well.

I don't know if I sucked wind.

Find out Friday.

I'm proud of myself no matter what.

I got this far didn't I? wink, wink, nudge, nudge......................snerk

NCLEX DAY

noreply@blogger.com (Crazed Mom) — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 14:41:00 +0000

Alternating

noreply@blogger.com (Crazed Mom) — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 04:38:00 +0000

I'm alternating between total despair at possible failure and studying and procrastinating and watching my family being total imbeciles(in various ways).

I don't want to be stuck at home anymore. I want a job. I want to feel useful. I need to think about more than myself because frankly, I'm a terrible subject to contemplate. :P

Pharmacology, pediatrics, med/surg + care of the aged, basics, OB + newborn care, cancer which is where I get all CONFUZZLED about chemo versus anti-neoplastic meds, mental health, psychosocial and safety first.

Still having anxiety dreams. Not fun nor very restful. I wish Dr. Grumpy would come and tell me funny bedtime stories. I could use some laughs.

I'm praying that all of you are enjoying your weekend much more than I am not enjoying mine........whine.

BURIED!!!!!!!!!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Crazed Mom) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 01:57:00 +0000

ACK!!!!!!!!! Six days left to study!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In Suspended Animation

noreply@blogger.com (Crazed Mom) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 05:27:00 +0000

Just hanging out and waiting for the NCLEX test next week. Sigh.

I don't do well without some kind of schedule. Class schedule, work schedule, something planned. My life has been pretty amorphous since August 14.

I think I've melding & become one with my couch. Kinda makes my butt look ginormous. Like it needs help to look bigger? Pfttttttttttttttttt.

My brain feels like jelly. It is still working but aimed at the NCLEX info. Which is getting dull.

My IQ is going blahblahblah...............

Two More Weeks

noreply@blogger.com (Crazed Mom) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 02:25:00 +0000

Two weeks from now I should be finishing up my NCLEX-PN test so I can get my nursing license. I cannot wait. I have seen more of my spouse and kids that I ever planned on or wanted. I miss my home alone time.

They will not let me work as a nurse without that pesky license. I WANT a job just so I am out of the house!!! That's the first time I've ever said that. LOL.

I've been practicing test questions from one of the 3 CDs I have on my laptop. 5000 different NCLEX questions. Wahoo. 3 different CD all with different emphasis'.

I like the Mosby one because I am brilliant on that one. I get 95% on all topics. My nursing school director advised me to get this review along with the Davis version.

Much to my surprise I remember at least 90% of what I was taught this past year. I will have to go over some lab values, the 4 different kinds of shock, dosage math, but I am great with the pharm, gerontology, mental health, pediatrics, most of med/surg. I really do have a brain!! Those nasty nursing teachers had me thinking I was impossibly stupid. Phew, thank the good Lord I am outta there!!!!

As far as I know only 2 students from my class have taken the test. I'm not on the gossip chain so I could be misinformed. I wasn't in class to make friends. I was focused on learning and then just trying not to f*** up in clinicals.

Did I ever tell the story of the catheter I put in an elderly female where I was behind her with 2 nurses holding her legs and I needed a flashlight to find where to place it? Remind me to tell ya that one some day. Amusing now........snerk.

I hope you're out there lurking since I don't get many comments. I'm not leaving many either so I get it. HUGS and love to all.

WTH Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Crazed Mom) — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 06:27:00 +0000

What the Hell Wednesday: are you down with the sickness?
More WTH posts @ WTH Wednesday Meme.

welcome to this weeks what the hell Wednesday brought to you by the color snot green, piles of dirty tissues and more fluids please…here we go(courtesy of livingdeadnurses psychoward)

1.Are you a stay at home sick one or are you a take it to work and spread the fun?
Depends on the illness. If it's a migraine or sinus issues I usually gut it out. If I have a flu virus I will stay home.

2.Are you a big baby when you get sick? Or do you have someone in your life that is a bigger baby that expects you to take care of them? I'd love to be a baby when sick. Since I live in a house full of non-nurturers that will never happen. :P

3.Do you think you have a sick personality? (take that anyway u want) Very twisted and skewed.

4.What do you think about mandated flu shots? Not cool. The government has no right to tell adults what to do with their bodies.

5.Are you terrified or tired of hearing about the h1n1 aka swine flu? I am tired of it but I am also concerned as it's widespread in areas of the state I live in.

6.What is the sickest thing you have ever seen? Madonna french kissing anyone.....ewwwwww

7.Would you let a student nurse take care of you? why or why not? Hell yeah, as long as needles aren't involved.

8.Have you ever called in sick when you weren’t sick? why? Yeah, to go to the beach.

9.What is the worst i am not coming in today… excuse have you heard someone use? My car's out of gas. PULEAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZE.

10.What is one thing that you can think of that make you sick to your stomach Madonna french kissing anyone....ewwwwwwwwwwwwww.

11.If you could come up with an illness what would you name it? Intelligence~folks would get smarter...

12.Have you ever been sick in love? No but I have been lovesick.

13.What are you sick and tired of? My kids sponging off of us. My spouse being unemployed and home day after endless day.

Tumbling Through Tuesday

noreply@blogger.com (Crazed Mom) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 15:08:00 +0000

It's windy and rainy and looks like November outside. We had a 5 month Summer, a 3 week Fall and it seems Winter has come early. This global warming thing is a bitch!

I thrilled to let ya'll know I'm getting my teeth scaled today. Yeehaw. That is like a cleaning but under my gums, fun fun. I'm planning on a smoothie from dinner. Freaking hate dentists....I also need 4 fillings replaced and another crown. They will have to wait until I get a job. Money is quite scarce around here. My 18yo doesn't comprehend we don't have $150 bucks for him to go to Homecoming to his girlfriend. They will not even be going to the dance. All dancing where partners touch have been banned. They have sold 2 tickets in a week. Welcome to 1900.

Practicing NCLEX questions. I'll be taking the test Oct. 28 starting at 2 p.m.. I only know of two folks in my nursing class who've taken it. Several more next week. I'm taking it ahead of half the class. I do not know how that miracle happened except God may have helped. If I pass the job search shall begin in earnest.

Pupples is now an eunuch. He also has a yeast infection in his right ear. I've decided I'll do the medical treatments needed. My 21yo cannot even keep the dog's ears clean, let alone medicate them.

I'm wondering if there will ever be an empty nest around here. It doesn't look good. ARGH is as articulate as I can be on this subject.

I hope you are all well and having a gook week. Hugs to my peeps! <3

I Need Help!

noreply@blogger.com (Crazed Mom) — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 05:20:00 +0000

OK my peeps, how does a new grad go about finding a job?

I'm talking LPN entry level and no my school does not help us with this.

Every year until this one all the new grads were snapped up before they even took the NCLEX.

Now we're in a recession. No one's knocking my door down to hire me.

It's very difficult to job search online. So few details. I'd like to know some things before I apply or send my still to be invented resume.

I was a stay at home mom for 17 years. Then I was in school the past 4 years. What do I put on a resume?

Help please. Any tips or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Get Ready to Call Me Nurse Janice!

noreply@blogger.com (Crazed Mom) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 04:13:00 +0000

I have an appointment to take my NCLEX on October 28. YEEHAW!

I shall be studying extra hours before that and looking for jobs on my breaks.

I plan to be single minded and disciplined until after the test, snerk. ;)

A light slowly begins to shine at the far end of the tunnel...............

Castle

noreply@blogger.com (Crazed Mom) — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 06:21:00 +0000

I have found a new sexy hot actor man to have a crush on~Rick Castle, aka Nathan Fillion most recently of Desperate Housewives.

I forgot to mention Castle yesterday. WE(Spouse and I) LOVE this show. Hot itelligent sassy lady for spouse. Sexy crinkly eyes, crooked grin, hunka burning love for me.

Nathan is one mega HOTTIE and he can act. No tabloid trash, keeps his private live private and producers and directors find him easy to work with.

I think I want to lick him all over. I haven't quite decided yet. Every Monday at 10p.m. we have a date for fairly good murder mysteries, great relationships between characters and a screen play writer with a sense of humor.

SIGH.

I think I LURVE him 4-ever.

He made me smile right out of my cranky mood tonight. Ohhhhh-la-la!!

Sunday Snippets

noreply@blogger.com (Crazed Mom) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 01:25:00 +0000

The new tv season~I was shocked by the show Trauma on NBC at the emotional depth that was conveyed. Who knew NBC could do emotional depth? The medical deets? Eh.

Mercy~no emotional depth, 3 nurses and 2 doctors apparently cover the entire hospital by itself and unnecessary scenes abound. I had hoped this how would be better as it showcases an LPN just home from Iraq....FAIL.

Glee~sly, snarky, twisted takes on a high school Glee club. Love it! Funny. Well acted. Very well written. Good singing.

Bones~excellent as always. More sly slick humor of a show that doesn't take itself too seriously.

House~jury is still out. First show was a tweaked homage on "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest".

Accidentally On Purpose~eh, ok.

The Big Bang~still hilarious to us geeks who get all the jokes.

Mad Men~confusing. I watch and still I have no clue what anything means. Even after reading Television Without Pity I don't get it.

CSI~Back to excellence!! Bravo on the premiere and keeping me guessing to the end!!!

Other trivia~I did very well on my independent study project and am now just waiting on a date to take the NCLEX-PN. Hopefully by the end of the month. 2 students from my class took and passed it this past week.

How does one find a job for a new grad that is not a glorified CNA??????

Tired of the Asylum? Come Visit WA State!!

noreply@blogger.com (Crazed Mom) — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 23:42:00 +0000

glitter-graphics.com

Last week a violent psychotic killer walked away from his escort at the Spokane County State Fair. You see they have field trips away from The Eastern State Looney Bin. Don't want the inmates to get cabin fever.

Seriously, this state facility had regular field trips for their patients.

I'm not talking "Oh the voices told me to eat cotton candy." crazies. Nope.

I'm talking the "I keeled an ol' lady with a big hairy knife cuz I felt like it." whack jobs.

Criminally insane and extremely likely to be violent inmates.

This is the convo I imagine in my head:

"Sure Freida. Why not? Let's go take Ax Murderer and Serial Killer and their buddy Little Boys Are Fun to Torture to the fair. On Family Day. How perfect would that be?"

"No, Shirley I don't expect we need to ask their doctors or nurses. After all, we have done it before and every thing's been swell."

"Frieda grab some non medical personnel to help us. I think 3 of us can take 6-8 residents to the fair."

Same day, news flash: Insane Psycho Killer Escapes From Spokane County Fair!! He may be dangerous, please call Spokane County Sheriff's Office if you have seen this crazy ass psychotic around your neighborhood! More at eleven....

Um no, I am not joking. This happened last week at the main mental facility in Eastern Washington. They did take field trips with inappropriately non functional psychotics with no psychiatrically trained personnel.

The psycho killer in question had been incarcerated since 1987 when he whacked(literally) up a little ol' lady for no apparent reason. He was found non compus mentis and sent to the asylum forever and ever.

He left the building with his duffel bag, a guitar and one very sharp sickle or he had them hidden outside the facility. When he was caught these are the items he had with him.

The mental institution did not alert anyone they'd be field tripping to a public place. The fair management had no idea, the police had no idea, the folks just visiting the fair had no idea.

Psycho killer managed to just walk away. It took them over 3 days to find this man. Using all the inter agency resources they could find. The inmate had escape once before and sent a sheriff to the hospital with a serious head injury.

He killed a little old lady.
He would not take his meds regularly.
He was in a locked down ward for the criminally insane.
He planned this escape for months and not one person had a clue.
The Eastern State Mental Institution took their patients on freaking field trips!
They never notified local law enforcement.

Fortunately for the public the psycho killer was caught and put away again. No one was physically harmed.

Can you say : WTF???

Twenty One Years Ago

noreply@blogger.com (Crazed Mom) — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 05:42:00 +0000

A little over 21 years and 20 some odd hours ago I gave birth to my first child. After 18 hours of labor, puking my guts out, an epidural that needed to be souped up q two hours I pushed for 3 hours to get my huge headed son out. Luckily these things tend to blur after several years.

I was 26 and a half. Spouse was 35. Baby was brand spanking new. Marriage was almost 2 years old.

I made the mistake of thinking my child development and parenting research would ensure lovely, well behaved yet fiesty kids. Bwahahahahahaha. I had much to learn.

We named him Keenan Joseph (no last name needed). I got the name Keenan from a how conception happens movie, Lennert Nilson was director, a photographer had the first name of Keenan. It slid into my mom-brain section like a lost puzzle piece.

My mother thought it was a stupid name and why didn't I pick something like John or James(my brothers' names). This is when I threatened her that I would name the child Zimbabwe and his nickname would be Bob. I was totally serious. My FIL expected me to name my kid after him..............poor guy was completely delusional. He was also upset and passive agressively let my spouse know. Heh, like I cared.

If the baby had been a girl her name would have been Noelle Joy as she/he was conceived Christmas night.

The baby had played soccer while in utero and I almost named him Pele because this boy could KICK!!! Our family legend has Keenan being born with a soccer ball.
He played competitive soccer from the age of 5 until the age of 16.

I was THRILLED to be a Mom. I spent hours staring at his beautiful hands and feet and face.

I was enthralled. I stayed that way until he turned 15.

ONE THING CLEAR: I'm still much too young to have a child who is 21 years old.

(WAAAAY TOO YOUNG!)

Happy birthday Keenan! Keep safe.

I wish you the life you want.

What The Hell Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Crazed Mom) — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 05:16:00 +0000

Welcome to the first installation of the What the Hell Wednesday meme…this meme is brought to you by the letter I for insanity, the letter P for psycho and the number 2 for the 2 mental patients running this shenanigan…
Here we go….

1.Do you talk to yourself and what about? Do you answer back?

DUHHHHHHHHH. I talk to myself about everything. More when I am angry because yelling at anyone is contraindicated when trying to communicate. I do more of a monologue than question and answer.
2.Have you ever made up your own language?

No. My older brother had his own language until he was four. No one understood him and he was in love with parking meters which he called, "Swabbing meeboos." (And ya'll think I'm cuckoo.....)
3.It's confession time. Dig in to your closet of shame and tell us one totally insane thing you have ever done in your life.

Lost my virginity in high school, in my own bed. Going to nursing school.
4.So what is that one annoying thing in life that just drives you to that insanity level and why?

My spouse who is unemployed for the 5th time and is always home and makes me feel as if I should be USEFUL(his definition not mine) and the fact he thinks I should be cleaning house and cooking dinner because I am done with school, that ship sailed about a decade ago. Get over it fool!!!! His complete lack of understanding when I was going to nursing school.
5.You see a guy stripping butt naked and starts running around the street…what do you do?

Take out my cell phone and take pictures. Then go show them to my fellow nursing students.
6.Have you every had anyone tell you “you’re crazy?” what made them say that.

Yes. I used to be lots of fun and fairly whacko in high school, when I was single in college in a preppy yet totally unexpected, unanticipated way. Example: Let's go climb down the cliffs to Blacks Beach at midnight in the pitch dark while consuming alcoholic beverages and going to nursing school.
7.What would your Life Motto be?

Be kind.
8.Finish this sentence ever time a bell rings…

a boxer starts to swing.
9.If you had a phobia what would it be and why?

Heights. Because I like my feet on terra firma or in water.
10.When you go to starbucks do you swear they put crack in it just to get you to come back and pay 4.50 for it? If you don’t go is it because your might just get addicted?

I don't drink coffee. Never ever.
11.Do you believe you have a pet that can tell you what they want? Like open the door, feed them or pet them. Is this crazy?

Hell yeah. Maybe, who really cares?
12.What part of cell phones drive you nuts?

Calls to talk about crap we can cover when we're home together 22 freaking hours a day.
13.If you could have a psychotic break and at most have to spend 3 months in the mental ward what would you do?

Tell my nursing school director and instructors how I really felt all of last year...mwahahaha.

Ask for real rubber walls so I could literally bounce off them. Boing. Boing. Boing.

Pupples the Toddler

noreply@blogger.com (Crazed Mom) — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 04:08:00 +0000

Having a 30lb puppy is very similiar to having a toddler.

There's less crying and whining but some pee urinary dribbling when Pupples gets peeved.

He bites when frustrated.

He's always asking for treats.

He climbs into my lap every time he sees me using my laptop. He then tries to lick the laptop showing me that he is friends with it.

He misbehaves when my attention is elsewhere especially if I am on the phone.

He barks at me if I dare eat without sharing.

He follows me around until anyone else walks by. The he'll leap into paroxyms of joys and leave me in a New York Minute.

His favorite place to sleep is across my lap, all 30 lbs of him.

He snores.

He sniffs my shirts for food. If I have spilled he "cleans" my shirt. Uh-huh.

I thought I'd never get used to the idea of never having another baby,

God with his twisted sense of humor gave me Pupples as a grandpuppy.

Be careful what you wish for...

Ya'll know dog is God spelled backwards, right?

Fabulous Awards

noreply@blogger.com (Crazed Mom) — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 04:33:00 +0000

Several weeks ago KLS, Student Nurse
gave me this award for my blog. KLS is a student nurse, wife, mom of teens, etc. Hmmmmmmmm, sound familiar? She has a great blog and we can relate to many life events together.

Rules of the Award:

List five current obsessions.
Pass the award on to five more fabulous blogs.
On your post of receiving this award, make sure you include the person that gave you the award and link it back to them.
When you post your five winners, make sure you link them as well.
Don’t forget to let your winners know they won an award from you by leaving a comment on their blog.

My obsessions:
1. Sorority Life game on Facebook

2. Medical news

3. World News

4. Bones~tv show

5. Medical shows on Discovery Health

5 freakin' fabulous bloggers:
1. The Nurse in Purple Converse
2. Never That Easy
3. Confessions of a PA Student
4. True Wife Confessions
5. Dr.Grumpy in the House

Check them out! I bet you'll have new blog obsessions.

Anxiety In Dreams

noreply@blogger.com (Crazed Mom) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 03:44:00 +0000

(I'm ready to take the stupid test and go give shots, lots of shots!!)

I woke up from a nap today sweating and shaky. I had a nasty anxiety dream that I've had once before. In the dream I kinda go crazy. Have a panic attack and take off in my minivan (the one I owned 12 years ago). I drive to a bad area and then call 911 with a flip cell phone. It takes me about 30 tries to get the numbers right.

911 connects me to my spouse. He asks where am I and can't I find my own way home.(Freud alert!) He's really too busy to be bothered to save me. I scream at him that I need help to find the van that I parked somewhere. I'm terrified of the many freeways I have to negotiate to get home. This is where I wake up.

Do I need to spell it out? I want to depend on my spouse to save me but he will never step up in that capacity.

So my friends who are into dream analysis did I miss anything significant?

Nursing Board Nonsense

noreply@blogger.com (Crazed Mom) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 03:38:00 +0000

glitter-graphics.com

If one checks the Nursing Commission web site, one can check one's license status. My entire class is pending.

Nothing wrong with being pending.

EXCEPT.....

when one's nursing school has not sent one's final grades and papers.

Look at the cartoon up there and imagine my emo angst............................