Cheewit.net

DIVINE PROTECTION? SAK YANT TATTOOS

2010-03-02T21:25:00.001-08:00

I remember a hearing s story a while ago about a famous Thai general (I think, although he may have been another high-ranking military official) who had become increasingly more interested in amulets, Buddha images and other types of ornamentation. He eventually became so engrossed in it all that he paid the sum - some say - of half a million US dollars for a uniquely (and, of course, uniquely over-priced!) Buddha amulet/pendant. He eagerly awaited its arrival at his army headquarters, as did his legion of subordinates who were mostly deeply impressed with his display of devotion to Buddha through parting with half a million dollars just for one little amulet. On the day it arrived, the general was so over-excited that he put it around his neck and proclaimed that he was now indestructable and that nothing could harm him. not even a bullet fired from his own gun. To prove his point, he issued a direct order to his highest subordinate to shoot him. Despite the fcat that the subordinate did not want to do it, he simply had to follow a direct order, so he dutifully aimed the gun at the general and shot him. The general died with the amulet swinging around his neck.

The Buddha taught that delusion is one of the reasons for unhappiness. The general was clearly deluded. The Buddha also taught us to aviod attachment to magic and the supernatural. The general was clearly attached. The Buddha also taught us to be logical, and evaluate things carefully before believeing them for oursevles (check out the Kallama Suttra)... Say no more...

At the end of the day, the only thing that will protect us is our boon, our merit, our good karma that we have created. The Buddha can't do it, because he is dead. And as for magical tattoos, magical amulets and the like, let's just say that believeing in divine protection of that sort is just like putting a gun to your head (or having someone else do it!).

BEING TRUE TO YOURSELF

2009-04-20T21:42:00.000-07:00

MISS CALIFORNIA 2009

I clicked the following link this morning:

http://omg.yahoo.com/news/perez-hilton-the-way-miss-california-answered-her-question-lost-her-the-crown/21528?nc

and proceeded through the Perez Hilton's celebrity blog, for no other reason than that I was bored. Perez asked the Miss California contestant whether she agreed with same sex marriages, to which she fumbled a reply, but stated that she actually disagreed with it; she mentioned that those were hers and her family's values. Good on her, I say. Not that I agree with her (because, actually, I don't...), but she was honest and didn't fake a response.

For me, that is refreshing, especially in light of what most beauty pageant girls see as the 'proper' response, i.e. anything that will get them more votes!

Perez said that he thinks this lost her the crown. I say: Who cares?

:-)

EXPECTATION vs. REALITY: expect the unexpected

2009-02-21T14:16:00.000-08:00

One of the roots of much of our suffering is expectation. When we expect something and it doesn’t happen, we feel dejected and unhappy. The greater the expectation, the greater the unhappiness when it doesn’t work.

Yesterday, I monitored myself with a view to understanding how the expectations vs. reality scenario works during an average day. To my surprise, this little battle rages almost constantly under the surface. But this time I was ready: I expected the unexpected, so my mood remained unchanged. Here is a short list of the things which didn’t work out as expected:

The coffee had run out at home, so I had to have a hot chocolate;

We had to go the market instead of my favorite, snazzy supermarket with imported delights – so I had to miss out on some little luxuries;

We had to leave the market early because my son felt unwell, so I went without almost everything!

I couldn’t chat with a friend on Skype because he had a family emergency;

My American Idol recording (I recorded it the other night - we all have our little weaknesses…) didn’t work properly, so my wife and I had to stop watching it.

Now, of course, none of these things is particularly major, but they could all potentially affect someone’s mood, depending on how stable that person is. But there are often much more serious results from the conflict between expectation and reality.

For example, love in relationships. Is a daughter more loving towards a mother than the mother is towards her? Is a husband more loving of his wife? Have you done something for someone that you consider substantial and worthy of significant praise or reward but it doesn’t come? Have you apologized to someone and expected an apology in return? Have you made an investment and expected a return, only to find that the risk you took hasn’t worked out? Et cetera, et cetera.

So, how to conquer this all too familiar problem? Well, simple: lower expectations, and expect that sometimes things won’t work out as you had hoped, because that’s the way it goes sometimes!

BEING A SOMEBODY

2009-02-18T18:10:00.000-08:00

Most of us want to progress in our lives. We seek more money, promotions, higher status etc. But at what cost? Often, what we aspire to become is something which we finally want to reject before returning to a life closer to that which we left behind in our struggle to ‘be someone’, to be happy.

IDENTITY AND IDENTIFICATION

The fact is that we are all someone. And often the happiest of us are ‘nobodys’. Isn’t it unrestrained freedom that we all seek in order to live happy lives? Freedom to say as we wish, do as we please and live our lives privately in the manner we choose with as little stress as possible? If so, then why do so many of us feel pressured into extending ourselves into new and more stressful dimensions of our lives, such as higher positions in work/society with more responsibility - when it seems to, in many cases, make us more unhappy? The answer is social conditioning. Social conditioning (the ways in which modern society gives us 'role models' in celebrities, and convinces us that we need more money to be able to lead a happy life) which generates the drive in some of us to be ‘better’ than we are; but, again, at what cost? Notable world leaders in various fields can be heard discussing their lives after retirement; tending their gardens, paining watercolor scenes in the countryside nearby their homes, or simple pleasures such as fishing and having family barbecues are all things that we hear them say – and these are the simple pleasures. Why, then, did they spend so much time climbing to the top, only to seek refuge in retirement where they can be ‘relaxed and happy’? Why not be relaxed and happy right now?
The confusion arises because many of us do not correctly identify what we need to be happy - happiness for many of us is an illusion, often a fleeting one because of this misidentification...

TO BE OR NOT TO BE - DO WE ASK THE QUESTION?

Being a someone almost always brings added pressures, what with having to live your life in the spotlight, constantly under public scrutiny. It appears that many superstars these days are very badly off in a spiritual/mental, and all too often physical sense. Which brings me to my point: what is the point? A ‘somebody’ can be reduced to a ‘nobody’ in the flash of a camera, with devastating consequences for their mental and physical health. The sense of ‘I’, “me’ and ‘mine’ are shattered and broken; often the higher they have climbed, the harder they fall. At least, when you are a nobody, you haven’t ascended the socially conditioned ladder, so don’t need to worry about falling.

Lastly, a nobody is already a somebody. We are all somebody – It’s just that some of are confused about exactly who that somebody is.

The Poor People's Bank

2009-02-15T19:16:00.000-08:00

Last night I was in Japan, one of the most wealthy and certainly most advanced nations in the world. From my comfortable hotel room equipped with automatic-bottom-washing toilet and various other expensive accouterments, I was watching CNN. Amid the terrible updates about the Buffalo Plane Crash and other almost equally awesome disasters around the globe, a lovely snippet of news aired about the Poor People’s Bank, and how it had come to America – the richest country in the world - to help those who are broke and/or on benefit start small businesses.

What a wonderful idea, and an idea which is working wonders.

I won’t go into all the details here as that is not my point – you can research that yourself at the link below – but I would simply like to say that this system works on belief; belief in the decency of normal people to uphold their word and do what is right – in this case, to pay back what is owed each month. And it works, of course. It is not that this system doesn’t have some problems, but they seem to be far outweighed by the positives which it generates. Wouldn’t it be nice is more of us – myself included – were as unfailingly trusting and compassionate as the mind behind the Poor People’s Bank, Nobel Prize winner Muhammad Yunus?

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/poor-peoples-bank-thrives/4072429460/?icid=VIDURVNWS05

INDEPENDENT OR INDIFFERENT?

2009-02-10T16:13:00.000-08:00

This quick Note is with regard to something that I have touched on before: taking proper care of our parents. In many Western societies, elderely people are seen as burdens, and children feel burdened with the responsibility of taking care of their parents.

I was never a particularly bad child, but I had been sucked into this vacuous Western conception that I needed to be independent, and, therefore, began to distance myself form the truth about the relationship between parents and children; the simple equation is this: we owe them everything, literally.

Without them, we would not have life.

This is a very simple truth that is often grossly undervalued. Therefore, when our parents become older and need care and support from us we must be there to provide it, no questions asked. The concept of 'giving back' to parents is a very strong underpinning element in Thai culture - it is directly derived from the teachings of Buddha who explained that however you feel about it, you owe your parents everything, regardless of what they have done to you. For example, they may have mistreated you in some way, perhaps seriously, but - and this was difficult for me to grasp at first - you still owe them everything, as, quite simply and utterly inescapably, you are here only because they gave you life - the most priceless gift of all. If they have doe bad to you, then that is their failing and they will need to 'pay' for those errors later in their life (or lifecycle :-). There is no need for you to do bad things in return; from a buddhist perspective, in line with the law of karma, 'an eye for an eye' is not only horribly misguided, but it is foolish!

There are benefits from, for example, living in the same house as our parents - certainly at my home here in Thailand, it works a treat living with my mother-in-law. My son gets to experience the love and perspective of another generation, which will help him to erspect the elderely and, hopefully, add another dimension to his character, making him more 'rounded'. Admittedly, my mother-in-law is still very compus mentus and strong, but when the time comes, when she is no longer able to support herself and care for herself, we will see that it is taken care of here at home. We are also trying to 'ship' my dad out from England to join us when he gets older, but, being the blazer wearing, stiff-upper-lipped staunch Englishman that he is, it is unlikely (but we've still got a few years to work on him yet!).

There may be some financial worries to entertain, but that's life. Medication, nursing care etc. are all notions which will most likely be at the forefront of one;s mind when faced with this situation. But, perhaps we should remember that the most important thing is love. The fact that you are reading this means that you have enough money to access the internet, which, in turn means that you most likely live in a developed/developing country, which in turn means that you have access to a variety of medical products and options.

Basically, if we hesitate about the idea of taking proper care of our parents, then that is understandable, but at the end of the day, we owe them everything, so isn't this a small 'burden'? In fact, if we change our perspective on the situation, we will see that it is not a burden at all - it is simply the right thing to do.

And deep down we all know that...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5OpdbVA5WU&NR=1

A LOTUS IN THE MUD

2009-01-30T15:45:00.001-08:00

Although it sounds similar to the ‘stick in mud’ idiom in English, this translated sentence (the tile of thos Note) means something very different to a Buddhist.

The lotus flower carries with it notions of beauty and peace, both external and internal, and also notions of peace, calmness and tranquility. These abstract qualities can be refined further into the notion of inner peace through the acquisition of wisdom, or enlightenment. Therefore, the idea of the lotus flower and its opposite, mud, is often an image that is used by Buddhists to describe how close to ‘the truth’ someone is, or in other words, how wise they are.

4 LEVELS

There are 4 levels. The first is you, the lotus flower, buried deep in the mud. You cannot see anything, and are pressed from all angles by the suffocating mud – you are ignorant. The second level is where you are half submerged in the mud. Part of you, the tips of the flower, and out of the mud and in the water. The water is refreshing and clear. You are beginning to understand. The third level is when you are floating in the water, no longer restrained and suffocated by mud. You are at a point which allows you to see clearly and think independently. From this position, you can see that which is beyond the water. The last position is where you are floating atop the water.

Which position are you?

THE GLASS IS HALF-FULL

2009-01-30T15:27:00.000-08:00

I thought I’d write a quick note about being positive.

Generally, I’m a positive thinking person. Now, whether that has to do with DNA, past lives experience, or a combination of both I’m not sure, but I’m happy that way.

A SALARY POUNDING

By way of example, currently at my school there has been a drop in salary across the board due to the weakness of the pound globally; as a result, my salary has lessened considerably because I am paid half in sterling (pounds) and half in Thai baht. The Headmaster of the school quite rightly called a meeting and explained the situation clearly and also highlighted various options that were available to us in order to sort out this financial maelstrom.

In my point of view, the Headmaster acted honourably by putting his cards on the table and being very ‘transparent’ about the situation and what he intended to do (get a think tank together, liaise with other schools, conduct a brief survey amongst the staff, and then make a definite decision by an agreed date not long in the future). However, the were a core of others who gossiped and complained about how nothing had been done about the situation except this meeting, and how they were sure that the result/decision would not be favourable. This, in my mind, is all conjecture. We don’t know what will happen until it happens, so why worry about it. If we do want to try and predict, then why not be positive? Even those who previously made ‘bad’ decisions may well do ‘good’ in future instances – if we encourage them, and support them to do so. If all we do is complain and lower expectations, aren’t those decision makers who are already weak in character then likely to make weak decisions? I guess I’m asking, What role do we have to play in the psychology of others, and what responsibility should we take for the decisions of our leaders? Imagine if all your staff were very optimistic and encouraging about a critical decision that you had to make, even in light of past failures, wouldn’t that spur you towards making a very careful, selfless decision? I suppose it depends how ‘deep in the mud’ you are (I’ll explain this saying in my next note!)…

SOULFULL

My main point here is that there is no point complaining. One, it won’t make things happen any faster and it certainly won’t change what has already happened; in addition, the things we often complain about, which have not actually happened yet, often never actually happen!

Lastly, what have you got to lose by being positive? It’s much better for us, and everyone else.

THE FINAL THOUGHT

2008-11-08T16:06:00.000-08:00

In this Note, I'd like to explain why it is important that we try our best to remain happy and calm at all times, although it is notoriously difficult to do so!

Apart from the fact that it is obviously more beneficial to our physical and mental health to be happy and positive, it also helps us to ensure that we are doing all we can to arrive at a positive destination in our next life. My conversations about ghosts and rebirth with Shadowduck in the Forum got me thinking about how important our last thought is before death, and the profound but certain influence it has over the next leg of our journey through 'sangsarawat' (the continual cycle of life and death). I won't go into too much detail right now, as it can all become very complicated (!), but I'd like to explain the basic idea of how karma affects rebirth, and how there are surprising (or not surprising, depending on how you look at it!) connections between Western non-religious concepts/ideas of the point of death and life after death and the Buddhist teaching about 'the final thought'.

THE FINAL THOUGHT

Our final thought thought is what determines our next destination, whether it be a dimension which torments us mentally or whether it be an entirely pleasurable dimension of pure bliss. It is that final thought, which is often alluded to in the West as life flashing before our eyes, that directs us to wherever it is we are bond to go before being returned to this dimension and reborn as whatever it is that we will be reborn as; this will most likely form the content of a future Note, as it it another topic altogether. Some people are able to see their next destination just before they die. That is why, occasionally, people are seen to die with a smile or a look of dread and horror on their face! They have already 'seen' the blissful, or ghastly, dimension in which they will spend their next 'life'. And it all revolves around the last thought that we have.

Therefore, if we are the type of person who is always angry, or can be easily angred, there is always the danger that during that angry moment, or series of moments, we might be killed, and the last thought that we will have will be one of anger. Logically, according to the karmic rules we will be destined for a life of mental anguish until we are reborn again. This also has connotations for the type of life we lead, the job we do etc. For example, if we are a butcher, or work in a slaughterhouse, the life that flashes before our eyes at the moment of death will be one which contains a great deal of suffering and murder, as that is the behaviour and mode of thinking that has defined a large part of our experience.

POSITIVE THINKING

So, it is best (but very difficult) to always think positively, and always forgive the bad that has been done to you. Otherwise, you will harbour emotions that will linger and may arise at the last moment of life before death. I should mention here that determining your next destination actually relies on a configuration of three different types of karma, but that is a little difficult to explain here and will need to be explored at a later date!

Wow, what a seriously depressing Note! Happy thoughts!

LOCHNESS MONSTER ET AL

2008-11-02T01:30:00.000-07:00

After browsing YouTube because, quite simply, I had nothing better to do this Sunday afternoon, I stumbled across some weird and wonderful videos all about amazing zoological discoveries; one of them was the Loch Ness Monster - or Nessy, as she is more fondly known.

POO POOING

It is easy to poo poo the idea of the Loch Ness Monster and blame it all on over intoxicated Scottish fishermen with imaginations the size of an Olympic haggis, but there could well be truth to it. If we are open-minded, and logical.

Now, zoological discoveries are continually being made which challenge our preconceived notions of what is fact or fiction. For example, the discovery of the Giant Panda a few decades ago rocked the world (well, certain scientific/anthropological sectors of it), as did the unveiling several other creatures which were thought to nothing more than local folklore. With this in mind, creatures like the Loch Ness Monster may be a reality. And if there is one, there are many.

NESSISARY EVIDENCE

Although no evidence has been found for the existence of the Monster, logical deductions point towards the scientific possibility. Several reptiles, including crocodiles, and various sea creatures including sharks are distant relatives of their Jurassic forebears, the dinosaurs. If we accept that a creature only evolves because its climate evolves or changes, then we a likely to agree that because Loch Ness hasn't really changed for thousands, and I dare say millions of years, the creatures that once thrived there may still do, albeit possibly in smaller numbers.

Ask yourself again: if sharks and scorpions, crocodiles and cockroaches could survive, relatively unchanged, over millions of years - and let's remember that they live on land, which has been changed more ferociously than anywhere in the ocean - then why not something like the Loch Ness Monster? Is it really that far-fetched?

IMPLICATIONS

So, what about other zoological impossibilities, such as the Big Foot or Yeti? Or the plethora of other animals which have reportedly been sighted? Well, they could all exist, it's just that we haven't managed to produce any tangible evidence. Let's remember that they have survived for thousands/millions of years on instinct, and some on a mix of instinct and intelligence. Therefore, they are well-equipped to avoid shotgun-brandishing hillbillies, or intoxicated Scottish fishermen armed with fishing rods, sonar guns and several bottles of Glenfiddich.

If they exist, of course... Nessy makes an appearance on YouTube below. If it wasn't for the terrible acting, I might have believed it...!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-Q-IwUijoc

PAST LIVES

2008-10-30T23:40:00.000-07:00

Each of us has lived an unimaginable amount of lives in a multitude of dimensions. The life that we are leading now is simply one in a chain which, for most of us will stretch an unimaginably long way into the very distant future.

SEEING IS BELIEVING

Those of you who have read my Note about the almost zombified state that many of us lives this life in will understand that 'seeing' our past lives whilst in this state is impossible. Our mind is far too sedated and preoccupied with the material side of life that we are unable to penetrate our consciousness fully enough to glimpse who, what or where we lifetimes ago. Again, as with many of the notions/concepts that I talk about in my Notes, people are often very quick to dismiss them, despite the plethora of references to them across cultures. Ghosts, aliens and, in this Note, past lives have all been 'documented' across cultures but still some are keen to batten down the mental shutters and ignore some of the most fundamental questions that we can ask about our existence. Anyhow, each to their own, of course.

PORKY PIES?

In order to see back into your previous lives, you need to have reached a certain level of enlightenment (a very high level of course, which, as far as I know, can only be attained through meditation). That is why it is most interesting to look at examples of unenlightened people, often children, who are able to recount in amazing detail events, people and places which they have had no prior experience of in this life. I would like to believe them, but I find it hard to accept that anyone who is not enlightened can remember a past life. However, in light of much overwhelming evidence in support of these children's past lives it is hard to ignore the fact that they may well be telling the truth. Although I am a firm believer in past lives, of course, I am still undecided about whether I believe all of the stories of those who claim to have seen theirs, especially when they have 'regressed' themselves or been regressed by a doctor. But that doesn't necessarily mean that it isn't true.

Have a look at this story of a little boy who claims to be able to remember his last life... What do you think?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdmMEKPFDTY

CONFIDENCE

2008-10-28T14:50:00.001-07:00

It's a fine line. Some people I know are extremely confident, but that doesn't mean that they love to be the centre of attention all the time; we often refer to them as quietly confident. Then there are those who lack confidence completely. And then, of course, there are the overpowering, over-confident types who straddle the fine line between confidence and insecurity!

I'd just like to share this example of a truly confident key note speaker who not only conveys a great and important message to a delegation of 20,000 educators, but who also does it in style. Quite remarkable considering...

That's it for this Note. I'll let the video do the talking!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZm0BfXYvFg

VIETNAM VETS

2008-10-21T14:31:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd pen this quick Note just to put into written words something which has been on my mind from time to time, and is a good illustration of how blindly misguided, cruel and incompassionate we can be, especially when we believe that we are fighting on moral ground, or for something that we believe strongly in.

THE ROOT

Often we are weak enough to direct anger and malice unjustly at the wrong person or group of people. I was guilty of this just last week when complaining about something, and I directed my anger at someone who was not the root of the percieved problem; admittedly, I didn't shout or make a big scene, but my action was not skillful, and probably disturbed that person quite unjustly. I directed my anger at them, as the person who was to blame was not present. However, I felt that it was my right to get it off my chest, and so complained to them as they were an employee, although they knew little of the situation and were merely following orders which resulted in something that I was not happy about. I thought afterwards how this type of thing happens on much, much larger scales around the world, and one specific example jumped into my mind.

VIETNAM VETS

I remember once reading about the homecoming of the Vietnam veterans to America, and how shockingly they were treated by their fellow countrymen. This, to me, was absolutely shocking. I later read that the reports of people spitting on them was inaccurate, but they certainly experienced hatred and anger as they were paraded through the streets, and, as a result, felt socially outcast by the very society that they had grown up in. I also read - although I do not how accurate this is - that they were denied various state benefits.

Those who stood and jeered, turned their faces away or hurled abuse as they 'welcomed' their veterans back into the country were behaving in a completely uncompassionate and unskillful way. The american soldiers were heavily traumatised, and had suffered severe mental and physical pain. What they wanted, what they needed and what they deserved was compassion, counsel and love from their fellow countrymen. They were the first to race to the frontlines and put their lives in danger to support what they probably thought was a worthy cause; they later found out, of course, that they had been duped and used in a political game of cat and mouse.

DISABLED

I can't help but remember now the poigniant lines of Wilfed Owen's poem 'Disabled', which describes the homecoming of a soldier who had 'lost all his colour' fighting in WWI; obvious parallels can be drawn with the Vietnam vets, and with many other groups of soldiers who were told 'the old lie':

Disabled (extract)

"And soon, he was drafted out with drums and cheers.

...

Some cheered him home, but not as crowds cheer Goal.

Only a solemn man who brought him fruits Thanked him;

and then enquired about his soul."

These men and women fought a war they didn't understand in a country far away. It wasn't fair to make them fight another war when they returned home. Some of them are still fighting it. War veterans deserve our sincere thanks, our respect and our understanding. It is the political decision makers who deserve our pity, as they are the most mislead of all.

GHOSTS

2008-10-16T23:41:00.000-07:00

Thanks to jennandjon at flickr for the photo

I thought I'd write this little Note about ghosts, as it has been on my mind for a while.

What has always interested me is the fact that lots of people refuse to accept the existence of ghosts for no good reason. Isn't it fair enough to assume that because there have been so many sightings of them by so many 'normal' people all over the globe that there is definitely something to the whole ghost thing?

A NUMBERS GAME?

Well, ghosts, in my opinion - and considering the fact that I have seen one - do exist. However, they do not exist in the same dimension as us - at least not all the time. They are pure energy, which has been trapped in a parallel dimension for as long it takes for the soul of the ghost to find its way back into the earthly realm. Some people have the ability to see these spirits by tuning into the 'frequency' of the other dimension, and some even claim that they can communicate with them. Although I am not convinced about the whole spirit medium thing, there is no evidence to suggest that it cannot be true, so I am open to persuasion on that front!

There are many different types of ghosts, and these different types need to spend varying amounts of time in another dimension before they can re-enter the human dimension. This re-entry can also be called re-birth, or re-incarnation. The process of re-birth also supports the theory that there are no very, very old (note, prehistoric, for example) ghosts because they have already re-entered the human dimension.

LIMBO

The amount of time you need to spend in 'limbo' (the other dimension) before returning to the human dimension (what Thai buddhists call 'sangsarawat', or 'wien wai die gerd', the latter which means 'the continual swimming in the circle of life and death') is determined by your last thought before you die. Therefore, if you have led a life of murderous ways, your last thought as your life 'flashes before your eyes' will most likely be one of murder/death, which is extremely negative, and will see you spending time in a hell-like environment - a parallel dimension, which has nothing to do with devilish little goats with horns and giant barbecues, but is one where there is no physical, only mental, landscape and experience. As an example, if you commit suicide, you will spend a certain amount of time re-living your moment of death again and again until you finally re-enter the cycle of life and death. Karma is also a determining factor in how long you spend in your other dimension before returning to the human dimension, but I won't go into that here. Oh, and while we're in the on the topic of karma: there is no guarantee that you will come back as a human either; afterall, there are plenty of animal ghosts out there too, right? ;>)

RENT-FREE

As a side note, here in Thailand people often build miniature raised houses called 'spirit houses' to offer the ghosts of the land there a place to live of their very own; by building the little house and placing it on the land somewhere in the garden, the ghosts will have their own dwelling and will not need to live in the main house. Now, obviously this is rather comical in some ways, it does at least go to show that something must be happening for so many people in Thailand to build these miniature houses after contact with a ghost in their house/on their land, and for so many sane people the world over to report ghost sightings!

There is obviously more to it than the bare bones of this Note, and there have been some interesting discussions on this topic already in the Forum...

WHY I STOPPED FISHING

2008-10-11T02:18:00.000-07:00

It is now known in my family as 'The F*****g Fish Incident'.

It was about 4 years ago in a beutiful lakeside resort at Huay Khamin, up near the Thai-Burmese border, where this incident took place, and the point when I realised that fishing was wrong; up until that point, I just couldn't udnerstand how such an innocent past time could be quite so bad.

THE SITUATION

I had set up a fishing rod over the edge of the cabin into the dam and managed to make myself sleepy enough on Thai whiskey to want to go directly to bed. I hadn't yet caught anything, but was determined to do so - even if I was asleep when doing it! So, I turned to go to bed. At that point, my wife and her mother urged me to dismatle the rod or at least take it out of the water, but I refused as I couldn't see the harm in leaving it there overnight - maybe I would have a fish to look at in the morning!

After further requests to remove the rod I apparently uttered the expletive deletive above and tore the rod out of the water, threw it down on the terrace and slumped into my room muttering a cocktail of colourful words interspersed with the word 'fish'. The next morning - horrifically hungover but now sobre - I encountered a moment of very specific and simple enlightenment, which was that leaving the rod there overnight was a horrible thing to do; I imagined if a fish had attached itself to the hook and been forced to thrash around for 8 hours or so until I woke up - and me made me feel very sad, and a little stupid.

THE REALITY

At that point, I realised that fishing for pleasure is absolutely wrong; and I understood then that it also creates bad karma. If we fish for fun, then we are deriving pleasure from another creature's pain, however you look at it! The reason that we do it is for fun (not for necessity, which is slightly different) - it is pleasurable, for us at least. However, we need to be realistic about the other party involved, namely the fish. The fish is hooked through the mouth and then spends the next few minutes, sometimes much longer, tearing about hurting itself further as the hook boars deeper into its face. If the fish is very unlucky, it swallows the hook and then rips and tears its insides as it tries desperately to free itself form the pain, which, of course makes it worse. And this is the part where many say, "Well, it's just a fish after all," as if that means it's okay. Here's a fact for you: all creatures love their life and will do all they can to protect it (apart from lemmings, perhaps, but they are especially and strangely cutely dim!). And all life is equal.

Just as a foot note, this morning I was driving through Bangkok to see a family friend and passed a line of men fishing over a small bridge. One of them had his shirt off and was proudly presenting to the world three large buddha amulets strung round his neck on a gold chain. Sadly ironic, but not unusual...

ALIENS

2008-10-08T16:49:00.000-07:00

"For all our feelings of self importance, we are only a kind of biological rust, clinging to the surface of our small planet, and weighing far less than the air that surrounds us."

Carl Sagan

I thought I'd start this Note with a quotation by one of the leading scientists concerned with the search for extra terrestrial life, as I think it aptly and concisely encapsulates one facet of the nature of human existence, namely that we are merely a blip on the eternal radar of Earth's life; there is a world, or arguably, a myriad of worlds out there which are part of a natural order that some of us are beginning to try to understand. One of the ways in which we can begin to open our minds up to the possible realities of the universe is to analyse the extent to which we can accept the idea that there are numerous intelligent life forms out there in the cosmos. This idea is by no means new, although some may have you believe that it is - for example, Buddha aknowledged the existence of other life forms in other dimensions 2500 years ago! Groups like SETI (Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence) are actively searching for extra terrestrial life out the in the universe by using magnificent - and outrageously expensive - radio telescopes. The bad news? They haven't found any incvoming signals yet. The good news? You can help in the search by connecting your PC to their network. (Link at the end of this Note.)

At the end of this Note you will find a link to a popular equation (the Drake Equation), which was constructed in order to estimate the amount of extra terrestrial life forms that are likely to co-exist with us in the cosmos - it makes for good reading, and has sparked a number of fierce debates which you may find suck you in! However, I firmly believe that there are intelligent life forms, other than us, out there, and I have two very resonable sources on which to base my belief: Buddha, and my own reasoning.

In my opinion, all one has to do is look up into the night sky, and objectively consider whether it is rational and intelligent to expect that we are the only intelligent life forms that exist in a galaxy that has more stars than grains of sand on the beaches of our Earth. And then after that, we have the rest of the cosmos to consider, too...

So, is it that we really are the only intelligent life forms, or is it more likely that we are largely not intelligent enough to be able to accept that this view is utterely ego-centric and illogical?

Time will surely tell.

The Drake Equation and related stuff: http://www.geocities.com/bororissa/ext.html

SETI (Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence) website; help in the search for extra terrestrial life: www.setiathome.ssl.berkeley.edu

ANGER MANAGEMENT 3

2008-10-08T15:02:00.000-07:00

There are various types of anger, all of which are pointless but nevertheless pervade our existence and generally make us more unhappy than the point before we became angry, if that makes sense! The fact is that anger of any type (and I often have to remind myself of this - usually after the event, unfortunately!) only manages to make a situation worse. Think about it; has anger ever helped you to feel better about something, without impacting negatively on anyone else's life? The answer must be no. Getting angry may, especially in the West, be seen as an acceptable way of making sure that something gets done, but it will always make someone upset - and, as a result, create bad karma.

In short, there are three main types of anger or angry person:

STONE: you tend to harbour angry feelings for extended - sometimes very extended -periods of time; it is as if the anger is irreparably etched into you like a hard chiseled gouge into stone. People like this remain angry and bitter long after the initial incident which made them angry (which, of course, is neither logical nor helpful).

SAND: you tend to harbour angry feelings only for a short time after the incident; it is as if you are a bed of sand which over time manages to conceal or completely repair a mark on its surface. People like this recover quickly from angry states. They are wiser than those who behave like stone.

WATER: the wisest of all, you tend to disallow angry feelings form affecting your calm surface whatsoever. If you are mildly disturbed, it is only like a stone being skipped across your surface until it is it ushered down deep to the river bed where it remains well-controlled and undisturbed under the weight of the water. Some people like this are completely non-angered by anything at all, as they are able to navigate any obstacle or intrusion like a river which sometimes breaks its form in order to pass a boulder, or seep quietly through the holes left between the rocks of an avalanche.

I think that I am somewhere between SAND and WATER, depending on my mood and the perceived severity of the incident...

How about you?

Check out the first two ANGER MANAGEMENT articles here:http://www.cheewit.net/search/label/ANGER%20MANAGEMENT

INTERBEING FOR UNDERSTANDING

2008-10-06T00:00:00.000-07:00

I'm not particularly religious; in fact, I'll rephrase that: I am not at all religious. Rather, I would consider myself to be, if hard pressed for an answer, philosophical. After all, I am Buddhist, which is really a life philosophy rather than a religion, as we (Buddhists) don't believe in any omnipotent other wordly being who controls our destiny; we believe only in the wisdom of Buddha, who was once a normal guy like you and me but became very, very wise indeed through contemplating the world around him.

I was re-reading a book called "Living Christ, Living Buddha" last night, and it rekindled my interest in what Zen buddhists refer to as interbeing. This basically means that everything we perceive is simply the sum of its constituent parts, even the most abstract constituent parts. By way of a very crude 'Dummies Guide' example (and I hope that this doesn't make me the dummy!): a flower is made up of only non-flower parts such as light, water, time etc. Without light, a plant could not grow. Without time it could not grow. Without water it could not grow. Therefore, a flower is what we label the amalagamation of all of these inter-related components. In a sense then, there is no such thing as a flower!

I would apply the same process of analysis to belief systems (such as Buddhsim) and religions such as Christianity. They are all made up of the same components, althought the 'packaging' and terminology may be different. What we Buddhists call natural life force - in fact, this is something very difficult to describe in Buddhist terms as we don't necessarily define it quite as succinctly as Christians, although it underpins absolutely everything about Buddhism - Christians refer to as the Holy Spirit. Therefore, it is strange that many Christians would likely be mortified if I went along to their church and took communion! I would see no wrong in this, as I respect Jesus and all that he taught (at least all that I know he taught, including, of course, the gnostic texts), so why should I not respect him in the way of his tradition? After all, he was saying the same things as Buddha, as their teachings are inter-related; branches of the same tree if put figuratively.

Personally, I think that the only way of understanding the world(s) around us is to realise that everything is inter-related, and that interbeing means that there are parts of everything in everything. Only through understanding and accepting interbeing can we realise the true nature of things. A good start would be too understand that the core teaching of most religions and belief systems are the same. It is only people's interpertations (for whatever reasons) of the teaching which has detached the branches from the single tree. I can't see that there is any point whatsoever in arguing about religions/beliefs (as I have mentioned before) - rather, it would be much more fruitful and beneficial to listen to others views with an open mind and see if there aren't any 'truths' in their tradition which ours has left out!

I'm game if you are...and if you know more about interbeing than me, then please leave a comment or start a thread in the Forum (see the navigation buttons in the top right of the page)!

QUICK UPDATE

2008-10-05T02:53:00.000-07:00

I just thought that I should briefly update you all on why I have been absent for a while, and how I intend to proceed with this blog...

Well, as you may know, I have recently had a son, who has managed to dominate almost every facet of my life for the last few months! Therefore, I decided to take some time to focus on him and my family, as well as to finish off a writing project (non-blog) that is now complete.

In addition, I wanted to think carefully about how I really feel about this blog, and, more specifically, precisely how I feel about writing articles about how we can improve our lives. I took some time to compare my blog with others in the blogosphere, and to compare my advice to my own actions, and came to a conclusion: there are many blogs out there which have lengthy articles about how to be more better, more productive people etc., but I wonder whether the writers themselves really practice what they preach! I then re-read some of my articles and realised that I sounded like I was preaching - I had begun almost lecturing, which I now feel slightly uncomfortable with!

In additon, the sub-title of this blog is 'notes on life', not lectures on life, so I have decided to make the articles a little shorter and more like notes; the subject matter may be slightly more abstract and off-the-cuff as I informalise (is that even a word?!) my approach to this blog!

Hopefully the new-style posts, such as the last post on Communism, will still be potent enough to spark debate and commentries :-)

WHY COMMUNISM CAN NEVER WORK

2008-10-04T17:25:00.001-07:00

It is an idyllic idea which is generally borne from the hearts of good people, but it can never work. The idea that everyone can be equal is fundamentally floored, and, therefore, can never be realised.

THE PROBLEM

Now I'm no political expert by any means - extremely far from it! - but I feel confident enough to outline Communism's basic premise: the world's wealth should be divided equally among its people in order for everyone to life a life of the same 'quality' (professors of/experts in politics please feel free to cringe here...). But, as I have mentioned it is impossible. The reason is that each of us has their own 'bun' and 'gam', which translated from Thai means 'good', and 'bad' karma. This karma has been accumulating for the countless lifetimes that we have lead across the multitude of dimensions that we have existed in, and it is payback time, whether that be 'good' payback or 'bad'! Karma controls the vast majority of our futures, and although we are not powerless to influence our lives we do so in the knowledge that karma is a natural force which is non-negotiable.

Material objects like money do not ensure that the quality of one's life increases, although many are lulled into believeing (including myself sometimes) that it does. However much money we have, our character, our soul remains the same. In fact, giving a very bad person lots of money often makes them worse, as they have more means with which to indulge in their negative ways - I'm sure that you can think of examples. Conversely, giving a very good, charitable person a great deal of money most likely increases their ability to do good things. There are obviously exceptions to this rule - for example, some bad people are inherently good, but have managed to create enough bad karma to put them in a position, in this life, of destitution or conflict, so are to varying extents (depending on their inner strength - elements of good karma helping to steel their resolve to do good) 'forced' to do bad - but they are generally few and far between. Karma is by far the most powerful influence in our lives, despite whatever material distractions are placed before it.

CAN WE ALL BE EQUAL?

Well, frankly and realistically, no. There will never be global peace and equality, although kindness and compassion can help make small and sometimes quite large-scale changes to the way that people interact, therefore improving the lives of many. However, the idea that we can all be equal is absolutely flawed; perhaps we can be equal materially, but spiritually, it is impossible.

Ideas like Communism are generally sprung from the minds of good people, but people who greatly misunderstand the way in which the world (human nature) exists!

HOW A CONSCIOUS SMILE HELPS

2008-08-04T15:20:00.000-07:00

“I RECOMMEN YOU SMILE”

I used to have a friend called James. He was super-confident (although it was often misplaced) and had convinced himself that he was an amazing Thai speaker, as well as an amazing teacher. This opinion of himself that he harboured and groomed caused many problems between his friends in Bangkok, as well as a myriad of random Thai people. Luckily for James, Thai people are extremely tolerant and generally smile more times per day than most other people smile per year (okay, okay, that might be an exaggeration, but they certainly smile a lot - I guess that's why Thailand is aptly referred to warmly as The Land Of Smiles.)

A case in point: One afternoon, we were sitting in an Irish pub, ready to order lunch. A waitress politely handed us the menus, and then waited for a few moments before attempting to recommend something form the menu in English. She was obviously quite nervous, and had probably rehearsed the line in English many times. Now, what she said would have been perfectly understandable and acceptable if she was talking to any rational human being, but, unfortunately for her, she was talking to James; and it didn’t go down well. At all. Here’s what she said:

‘Ecuz me sir, may I recommen you to hamburguuuurgh cheese?’

James snapped his head up from the menu, his head tucked into his neck, and his brow heavy.

‘Hamburguuuurgh, cheese, I recommen you,’ she repeated with a lovely (but still slightly nervous) smile, delicately unfolding her hand towards the item in the menu.

James visibly tightened.

‘Why would you recommend me to Hamburger Cheese? Who is he? And quit smiling – what the Hell are you smiling about?’ bit James, eyes wide with interest, his body rigid in waiting for him to go in for the kill.

‘Errr, I recommen you,’ continued the waitress nodding her head slightly, still smiling..
‘Recommend me to whom?’ he blasted, ‘I don’t need you to recommend me to anyone; are you trying to tell me what to eat? Then it’s hamburger, not hamburguuuurgh, jeez! And I don’t eat meat anyways.’

At this point, the girl was utterly confused and physically shaken by the aggression shown by James. She smiled again. I had already become quite embarrassed. James appeared to be very pleased with himself.

The Thai girl flicked a worried smile at me, which meant something loosely translated as, ‘I’m extremely uncomfortable; please try and help me get away from this maternally outraged gorilla’. I cringed. Immediate action was necessary. I quickly smiled at the girl, and said that I would love to have the cheeseburger, and that she spoke great English. At this point, James’s nostrils flared, which seemed to scare the girl even more. She smiled again. ‘And he’ll have the hamburger, too,’ I said to her smiling. She scuttled off towards the back of the pub.

James was already raising himself out of his chair, his forearms strained on the arm rests, his eyes bulging like large fried eggs. I’d seen it before: he was about to call after the waitress as she scuttled the length of the pub towards the kitchen; he was about to let her know that she couldn’t speak his language as well as he could speak hers (despite the fact that he once demanded to try on a medium sized blue tiger instead of a medium sized blue shirt in a clothes store - it's all in the tones, aska Thai!-; at least she’s identified the correct item…). But before he got a chance, I managed to cunningly change the subject to Canadian Ice Hockey (which he loved but I knew nothing about – it did the trick though and he talked about stuff I had no idea about until the meal came, served by a different waitress!).

After we had eaten, I made my way to the back of the pub where the toilets were rumoured to be. Just at the bottom of the stairs, I saw the little waitress. When she saw me, there was a mild flash of panic in her eyes until I told her that the hamburger was very nice and that it was an excellent recommendation. She smiled a smile of relief and directed me round the corner to the bathroom. When I surfaced, she was standing by the front door greeting customers. As we left, she waied James (the wai is where you press your palms together as if in prayer and raise them to your nose, a traditional greeting in Thailand) rather mechanically, but decided to give me a very broad, warm smile and very respectful wai. The only one who wasn’t smiling was James - he was too busy loudly cursing a motorbike taxi driver who was driving the wrong way down the pavement, and had nearly hit him (apparently). As the motorbike driver meandered past me, a few steps behind, I saw him smiling behind his visor…

A SOFTENING SMILE

Although this is a slightly more narrative post than usual, there is an important point contained within. The point is that we communicate just as much with our body language as we do with our words. They say that a picture paints a thousand words; if that is so, then bodily gestures/actions paint a million! However, much of our body language is unconscious action, as opposed to speech, which is a conscious action (we are usually more aware of what we are saying than what we are doing). Therefore, if we think about it, in addition to selecting the correct words to use, we can consciously use our body language to help put others at ease - and there is no better way than with a smile. It can also be the case that we can use our body language (a smile) to 'positively contradict' what we are saying. This can be particularly useful if we want to complain about something, alert someone to the fact that that have done something incorrectly, or if we want to diffuse a confrontation before it takes root, as the smile ‘softens’ any interaction. This softening acts as a cohesive device that allows better communication in every circumstance – it is never misplaced.

MY MENTOR

Just time for one more quick example of how I have been positively affected by someone who smiled a lot: When I was training to be a teacher, I was assigned mentor in the school at which I was doing my teaching practice. Anyone who has done a teacher training course (PGCE) in the UK will testify, it is almost insanely busy and students are under a lot of pressure form academic, assessment and practical perspectives. The mentor can be the make-or-break of many students who enroll, so I was delighted with my mentor, as she was one of the nicest people I have ever met – not to mention one of the very best teachers. Why? Well, because, one, she never raised her voice, and, two, she smiled at all the right times. For example, when she gave me feedback on my teaching and had to criticize something I had done, she’d always smile as she did so, and use appropriate vocabulary in order to ensure that I didn’t feel bad. In fact, I always came out of the feedback sessions with her very positive, even if my lesson had somewhat bombed in the classroom! To that effect, I learned more from her than just how to be a good teacher.

In conclusion then, it is fulfilling, rewarding and skilful to consciously smile more, because it makes you feel good, and makes other people feel good, too.
And that can’t be bad.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This post includes omitted parts of a Guest Post called ‘The Power Of Smiling’ that I wrote for www.mysuperchargedlife.com (August 2008 archive); why not head over there and read that, too? Go on, I know you want to (he said with a smile!)…

"X WAYS TO...": THE IMPORTANCE OF WRITING YOUR OWN LISTS AND NOT JUST READING OTHERS'

2008-07-31T01:23:00.000-07:00

I have been intending to write this post for a while now, but have now been spurred on by a reader, who was kind enough to define why she finds this blog enjoyable; she mentions that most of the posts on Cheewit.net are, ‘based on experience rather than " X number of ways to do this.... "’. True.

The reason for this approach is that I am very much in favour of knowledge with understanding, rather than knowledge without understanding; after all, knowledge is of limited use if it is not embedded in understanding. In my opinion - and I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with their approach -, many blogs/websites deal much more, if not totally, in theory and not practice.

The difference between ‘knowing’ and 'understanding' lies in extent to which we have experience of putting theory into practice, or from drawing on our own experiences. That is why I try and make my points by using real life experiences that I have had, rather than writing more generally. Engaging in a practical way with the subject matter is the only way that we can really gain understanding.

LISTS

It is true that there seem to be a huge amount of lifestyle, life hack, productivity blogs out there which seem to be saying a lot of the same things, albeit in a variety of different ways! Many of these articles are list-based. For example, “21 Ways To Improve Your Productivity In The Office”, “10 Ways To A Clutter Free Environment” etc. – the list goes on. You may be wondering why I am writing what appears to be an anti-list post when I have a “50 Tips For Helping Your Overweight Child Stay Healthy” Guest Post on this blog. Well, the truth is that I have nothing against lists created by others, but I don’t feel that they are as beneficial to us as lists that we create ourselves. Kelly Sonora’s submission contains fantastic guidance about how to keep overweight children healthy, and it is very specific. This post (ENLIST THE HELP OF OTHERS, BUT WRITE YOUR OWN LISTS!) is aimed at helping you to help yourself more fully, and this can often be achieved by reading the teachings of capable others and then building on them. My issue is not with the fact that these lists aren’t helpful – many of them are excellent resources that will help you manage your life better -, it is just that they don’t really help us to develop our own thinking and solve problems for ourselves. By way of illustration, let me remind you of a famous little fable you may remember from your school days:

THE FISHERMAN AND THE FISH

A young, poor man sat on the riverbank every day, hungry and hopeless. Each day he waited for a fisherman to come past and give him a fish to eat. After he had eaten he was satisfied, until the next day when he was hungry again. One day, the fisherman decided that although it appeared that he was helping this poor fellow by giving him a fish every day, he wasn’t doing all that he could. Therefore, he decided that the best way to help this man was to teach him how to fish, so that he could catch his own fish, and eat more plentifully than he did by eating a seldom fish given to him daily by the fisherman. The fisherman taught him, and from that day forward the poor fellow was no longer hungry, and neither was he dependent on anyone else. Now he could fish wherever he liked and catch as many fish as he liked, from any stream that took his fancy.

I imagine that you have now guessed the point that I am making: to be dependent on someone else is easier; we do not really need to think very much, we just do and manage. But if we really want to improve the quality of our lives, we must sharpen our minds, and develop our (independent thinking) skills to higher level.

MANAGEMENT vs CURE

To draw another simple analogy, I would like to mention an illness called ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and the treatment for it that is prescribed by most Western doctors. ADHD mainly manifests itself in children and causes them to become very disorganized, shrinking their attention span to almost nothing, and often making them appear very hyperactive. The standard Western treatment (someone please correct me if I am wrong) is a drug called Ritalin. Its effectiveness as managing the illness is debatable. I use the word ‘managing’ specifically and intentionally, as Ritalin does nothing to actually cure the illness, as is often the case with Western medicine (I’ll be writing about this in more detail some time in the future). The same can be said for most of the “X Ways to do…” lists: they will help you manage a certain aspect of your life better, but they will not cure the problems that forced you into the situation where you need to seek advice from a ‘quick-fix’ list! In addition, once a new set of problems arise, what will happen if you can’t find the ‘fix’? You will not have developed the tools to make your own list, as you have always relied on others; therefore, you will be stranded like the poor man on the riverbank, waiting in limbo until someone writes the appropriate list and posts it in the ‘Net for you to see!

HOW TO WRITE YOUR OWN LIST

Outlined below is a structure that may be helpful for you when you come to constructing your own lists, thereby creating your own ‘fixes’ to any problems that arise. By taking time to create your own list, you are engaging with the root of the problem from the inside out (you are exploring the root of the problem by developing your higher-order thinking, by being introspective and in turn finding a series of solutions to your problems), rather than the outside in (not exploring the root of the problem, but just looking to manage it).

Here are the 4 main stages of your list, with a very simple explanation of each:

FOUR EYES

Identification (the WHAT): identify the key areas of your life that you need to change. WHAT are the main problems?

Introspection (the WHY): delve deeper and write notes on more specific details, breaking down the key areas into categories and sub-categories; how you do this is entirely up to you, as long as you end up with a pretty exhaustive account of all the elements of your life that you are unhappy with and WHY the are making you unhappy.

Intention (the HOW): make a list of what you intend to do about each of these problems and HOW you intend to do it. Be realistic. Be systematic. Be specific. Be heroic!

Integration (the NOW): make your goals part of your life and do it: bite the bullet and go for it…NOW!

And that’s about it. It doesn’t need any lengthy theoretical rambling or elaboration on my behalf. As I have said before, life is simple, if you choose to think clearly and put aside all of the distractions (mental, as well as physical) that we modern humans have become so accustomed to. Each one of us is easily intelligent enough to cure our problems rather than just manage them. We may read the words of others and gain their knowledge, but only through actively engaging in something ourselves do we gain understanding; when we have understanding, we are then able to begin drastically improving the quality of our lives for the long term by curing our problems rather than just managing them.

LESSONS I LEARNED FROM AN ANT AND A DOG

2008-07-30T16:02:00.000-07:00

Life is a constant and ever-changing series of events which cause us to re-evaluate our opinions and perspectives. Sometimes we consciously make an effort to philosophies about life and how we can best navigate it, and sometimes we encounter the most vivid moments of realization and enlightenment, often in the most unlikely situations.

I’d like to share with you two very simple but very important lessons that we were communicated to me in the most seemingly trivial of contexts. Both of these events challenged me to see experiences in new ways – ways which are much more skilful than those I had chosen to follow before; the master teachers of these life-changing reconfigurations of my thinking? And ant, and a dog.

THE ANT

It was about 1pm on a swelteringly hot afternoon in Bangkok, and the wife, mother-in-law and I were halfway through paying a visit to some of the extended family. This family are some of the nicest people that you will ever hope to meet: immeasurably happy, overly generous and just, well, altogether lovely people! They live in the middle of the city but are fortunate enough to have a large plot of land which they have retained for generations, which contains a myriad of trees and small water tributaries with orchids and the like blooming from various nooks and crannies of various trees and banana plants. It’s all very scenic and natural, even down to the mosquitoes and colonies of massive red ants.

Now, I’d just like to pause for a moment here to reiterate and extend my description of the size of the red ants. They are massive, and they are monsters. Very much unlike the puny little red ants that we have back in my windy little island cast off to the edge of the North Sea, these tropical ants hunt in packs and most likely entertain themselves on a Friday night by stalking and incapacitating the variety of small animals that can be seen scurrying and jumping around the garden. On this day, however, one of the ants obviously forgot that it wasn’t yet the weekend, and had most likely left his prescription glasses at home, as he decided to attempt to incapacitate my thigh while I was sipping a glass of Sprite. T that moment, purely through reflex action, I assure you, I swiped at the offending creature. A moment later, I realized that I had done something that I vow not to do: hurt another living creature. I looked down on my thigh, and there, static, was the ant, his bottom section flattened, and his forward sections twisted at an unnatural angle.

PUT IT OUT OF ITS MISERY

My initial reaction was to brush it quickly to the floor and stamp on it. This thinking originates from my English upbringing, where my parents taught me to ‘put an animal out of its misery' if it is severely wounded and on death’s door. The rationale for this action is that you are doing more harm to the creature by allowing it to suffer when you have the power to end its pain in an instant; therefore, rather paradoxically, you should help it by killing it!

At that instant, however, I remember what my wife had said about that thinking being wrong. She explained that by killing the animal you, one, will take the bad karma for doing so, and, two, you will completely destroy any chance for recovery, however unlikely it may seem. Bearing this thought in mind, I left the ant there on my thigh and continued drinking my Sprite. For the first few moments – probably about 30 seconds or so – nothing happened. Then, an antenna started flickering. Then the other. And then , as if by magic, the tiny insect body popper he began to re-contort his upper sections into their original positions, and then inflated his abdomen to its normal size. A minute or so later, he scurried happily off my thigh, down my leg and into the shrubbery beside me. Amazed and relieved, I thought: what if I had have killed it?

At that point, I understood fully that ‘putting an animal out of its misery’ is absolutely wrong. The reason that the animal is in its predicament is due to its karma. If we interfere and kill it, then we too gain some bad karma for doing so. In addition, who’s to be sure that the animal you kill doesn’t make some kind of amazing resurrection, just like the ant?

THE DOG

Okay, enough about the ant, now on to the dog.

This is a lot more straightforward. Basically, the village that I live in is a private village (don’t let that fool you into thinking that I am particularly rich at all; in Thailand, there are a number of private villages with security guards etc. – it’s the norm in this part of the world, and you can afford a house here if you have enough for a small apartment in America or England!) which backs on to a labourers’ camp. The labourers work on constructing the village until completion (which will most likely be some time in the next 20 years! If we’re lucky…!). Unfortunately, one of their dogs slips through the gate when it is open and goes hiding in the village so that it can’t be found until nightfall. Then, late evening, it begins barking…

As you can guess, initially I became very annoyed at the fact that the security guards were allowing the dog in and not catching and returning it to the camp. I was even more annoyed when, one summer holiday, in fact, this current summer holiday that I am enjoying now, I saw my neighbour feeding it in her front garden very early one morning! That was the obviously the reason that the dog entered the village in the first place. At first, I thought that my neighbours were foolish for feeding the mangy hound, and I then became angry that they were actually the indirect cause of my suffering at night. Of course, I would never say anything to the neighbour, however much I resented their behaviour, as I want to keep good relations with everyone in the village, and especially those who live next door! So I kept my mouth shut. And I’m glad I did.

REALITY BITES (not literally though, thankfully)

However, one morning I went to see the neighbours to discuss something trivial, and I saw the mutt eating his hearty breakfast of various scapings from last night's table plus a large dollop of rice. At that point, I realized that I had been thinking in a very incorrect and unwise way. I realized that my ‘suffering’, which simply entailed me not liking the fact that some rather ‘uncouth’ dog was limping about my ‘private’ village, and me being annoyed that it barked on and off for a few minutes for a few nights a month, was nothing compared to what would happen to it if no-one took care of it. If it was caught and tossed back in to the camp, it would have to cointinually fight for its life with the other dogs, and it would definitely not be given adequate food. Therefore, its suffering would be far greater than mine.

It was simply my ego, my sense of ‘I’, and my sense of what I deserved (uninterrupted sleep!) that lead me to think that my need was greater than its – in fact, of course, the reverse is true. If I had kicked up a major fuss about the dog, the Project Manager – who, by the way, is not the most reasonable fellow - would have seen to it that the dog was quite literally thrown back into the camp for good. Or perhaps even worse...

Although I haven’t got round to patting the little chap on its scabby head just yet, now I smile when I see it getting a little fatter (but I’m not too impressed with having to buy a pair of silicone ear plugs).

50 TIPS FOR HELPING YOUR OVERWEIGHT CHILD STAY HEALTHY

2008-07-25T19:09:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, I was contacted by Kelly Sonora from Nursing Online Education Database. She pointed me towards an article that had recently been published on her website, and wondered whether Cheewit.net readers would be interested. After I read the article myself, I considered it a fitting addition to our archives and instantly made the connection between it and my previous post ‘LIVING LIFE OVERWEIGHT: 10 reasons why you ARE to blame’; it links directly with the topic, and expands on a point that I make about obesity in children. So, firstly, thanks, Kelly, for contributing our first Guest Post, and secondly, if you haven’t read my post mentioned above, then make sure you head over to it after reading this excellent advice!

Note to readers: for some bizarre reason, and despite my best efforts, I have repeatedly had trouble formatting this post... Therefore, please accept my apologies about this - I hope that it doesn't make its reading less pleasurable!

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Originally Published on Wednesday 23rd of July, 2008:

http://noedb.org/library/features/50_tips_helping_overweight_child_stay_healthy

50 Tips for Helping Your Overweight Child Stay Healthy

By Christina Laun

Recent
surveys have found that the number of overweight and obese children in the United States is growing at an alarming rate. In fact, nearly one out of five children is now considered overweight. With distractions like video games and television replacing time spent riding bikes and playing outside, paired with the ready availability of fatty, unhealthy foods, it's no wonder children are packing on the pounds. If you feel that your child is or is becoming overweight, there are a number of things that you can do to ensure that he or she gets the help to grow up to be a healthy, confident adult. Here are 50 tips on helping your overweight child to get you started down the right path to overall health and fitness, for your whole family.

GENERAL

You have to start somewhere, and these tips can help you lay down the groundwork for a healthier lifestyle.

1. Let your child know you love them at any weight. Parents of overweight children must realize that their child's
impression of himself will largely be influenced by their parent's opinion of them. So if you constantly tell your child they are unattractive, soon they will begin to believe it. Instead, ensure that your child knows that no matter their weight, you'll be ready to stand beside them.
2. Provide support and encouragement. It's very important to provide a healthy and supportive environment for your child if you want to make a difference in their attitudes about themselves and their health. Your child is probably aware they have a weight problem and needs loads of support and encouragement from you to take the steps in order to get healthy.
3. Talk to your child. Take the time to talk to your child about his or her feelings on their overall health and weight. This will allow them to share their own concerns with you and help them to feel more confident about developing a plan to become more healthy.
4. Eat as a family. Instead of having meals on the run or in front of the TV, try to eat together as a family as much as possible. Conversation and interaction may encourage you all to slow down and enjoy your meals more.
5. Do not use exercise or food as a punishment. Making healthy choices a punishment isn't going to motivate your child to choose those things. Never use any kind of food, healthy or not, as a reward. This gives some greater value over others and can do the opposite of what you intend to instill in your child.
6. Make sure your child is emotionally secure. Many eating problems stem from underlying emotional issues. Talk to your child to see if they may be experiencing depression or other problems that may be triggering their overeating.
7. Find outside help if you need it. Dieticians can be a great help in getting your child eating foods that are healthy and that they'll actually like. If you're having trouble making the switch to a healthier diet on your own, don't be afraid to ask a professional for a little help to get you started.
8. Don't get discouraged. Chances are that your child isn't going to embrace a new vegetable-filled healthy diet right away. If they refuse to eat a certain food, try again. Sometimes it takes several times of the same food being served before children will sample it, so don't give up right away.
9. Talk to your child's doctor. Before making any major changes to your child's diet or routines, talk with his or her doctor first. You will be able to get advice on the healthiest ways to help your child and ensure that there are no underlying conditions that could be aggravated by these changes.
10. Focus on health, not physical appearance. The ultimate goal of helping your child should not be to get them thin -- it should be to get them healthy. Ensure that your child knows this is what matters the most.
11. Nurture your child's self esteem. Weight can be a very sensitive issue for many children, and you need to ensure that your child's self-esteem isn't being negatively impacted by your attempts to help him or her to become healthier. Make sure your child feels attractive, loved and accepted no matter what.
12. Admit it when you make mistakes. No parent is perfect, and on the road to a healthier lifestyle, you are bound to make a few mistakes along the way. Tell your child when you mess up so they feel you are being open and honest about things.
13. Avoid power struggles over food issues. Forcing your child to eat a certain way or arguing over food choices isn't going to be a positive way to help your child lose weight or feel healthier. The ultimate goal of helping your child is to ensure they know how to make their own choices, and sometimes making mistakes in those choices as well.
14. Set goals. While your child's weight loss goals shouldn't be tracked in the same way that adults do, you shouldn't be afraid to set goals for your child. This can be things like being able to ride his or her bike for 5 miles or cooking a healthy meal for the whole family so the focus is not on weight, but on health instead.
15. Don't make negative comments about your child's eating habits. While you might be tempted to speak up if you feel your child is eating too much or not taking in the right foods, this can have the opposite effect that you desire. Many children will be less likely to try new foods and truly make changes to their habits if they feel they are being closely supervised with each bite that they take.
16. Focus on personal choice. At the end of the day, your child will have to decide for himself or herself what choices to make about what to eat and how to get active. Focus on letting your child be the one to make choices about getting healthier to have a greater and more lasting impact on their lifestyle.
17. Realize your child may need more or less calories at given times. Because children are still growing and developing, there will be times when they will need large amounts of food in order to fuel their bodies. Be aware of this and do not attempt to deny them food that they may need in order to develop and grow properly.
18. Talk about the consequences of unhealthy living. Make sure that your child knows what the consequences of eating an unhealthy diet and being sedentary really are. To many children the reasons for losing weight may appear to be entirely about physical attractiveness, but you should explain that excess weight puts them at risk for health problems as well, and making changes can be a great benefit to their overall health.

DIET

Help your child learn to make good choices about what to eat by following these tips.

19. Focus on the family. Don't single out your
overweight child to eat special meals while the rest of the family doesn't. Make the change to healthier eating one that applies to the whole family, not just one child.
20. Help your child learn healthy eating habits. Getting healthy isn't just about providing your child with healthy foods, it's also about helping them to learn what choices to make on their own as well. Make sure you explain the reasons for eating whatever it is you are serving. 21. Cut out the junk food. While not all junk food has to go, make an effort to seriously limit the amount of it that is allowed into your home.
22. Don't eat too many processed foods. Overly processed foods tend to be less healthy than their less processed counterparts. Try eating more whole grain breads, fresh cheeses and natural foods.
23. Don't overly restrict your child's diet. Children need to eat a variety of foods to stay healthy, so limiting a child to only eating salads may help them lose weight but won't help them stay healthy in the long run.
24. Check out the food pyramid. Take a look at the food pyramid with your child and try to figure out ways that you can fit in the recommended servings of each type of food each day to ensure that you and your child are getting the overall nutrition you need.
25. Allow occasional treats. The occasional treat for your child, whether it's going out for ice cream or getting popcorn at the movie theater, is totally ok, so long as this kind of eating doesn't become a regular thing.
26. Guide your child's choices. Provide your child with the information her or she needs in order to make healthy food choices. This kind of guidance will help them make better choices now and in the future.
27. Encourage eating slowly. Encourage your child to eat their meals more slowly. This will help them to realize when they are full and to be more able to avoid overeating. It can also help them learn to enjoy and appreciate food as well.
28. Involve your child in preparation. Getting your child involved in the preparation of healthy foods can be one way to get them more excited about the prospect of eating them.
29. Don't eat in front of the TV. Many families are guilty of just zoning out and eating right in front of the TV. This means food isn't what is being concentrated on, and as a consequence overeating tends to be more of a problem. Turn your TV off during meal times to instead focus on eating.
30. Make sure your child has access to healthy foods outside of your home. Healthy eating shouldn't stop outside the home. Ensure your child has healthy food to take to school or anywhere else they may be headed.
31. Provide breakfast each day. Starting the day with a healthy breakfast can be a great way to lay the foundation for meals throughout the day. Make sure your child doesn't skip this very important meal.
32. Start with small servings. Help your child to learn to only take a small amount of a food first, finish it, and to see if they are still hungry before taking more. This can help avoid overeating.
33. Encourage your child to only eat when hungry. Many children eat for reasons that aren't always related to actual hunger. Talk to your child about this and help them to avoid eating out of boredom or because they are upset.
34. Cut out the calorie laden beverages. Sodas and some juices add hundreds of calories to your child's diet each day while providing little to no nutritional value. Try cutting out these beverages and replacing them with water or low fat milk instead.
35. Don't forbid foods. Making certain foods forbidden can make them all the more desirable to your child. You may have better luck allowing these foods in moderation so your child doesn't feel deprived but isn't loading up on unhealthy foods.
36. Provide healthy snacks. Snacks aren't always a bad thing if they're done right. If your child comes home from school starving, provide foods like apples, carrot sticks and yogurt instead of high fat potato chips and cookies.
37. Grow your own foods if you can. Those with room for gardens can try growing their own vegetables and spices. Getting your child involved in the process of growing foods can instill in them a sense of pride, get them active, and make them more willing to eat it when harvest time comes around.
38. Provide options. Ultimately, you want to help your child learn to make healthy choices even when you're not around. Even when at home, provide your child with options of what to eat and let them make choices about what foods will go into their diets.

FITNESS

Getting active is a major part of getting healthy, and these tips can help you motivate your child to get off the couch and get in shape.

39. Get active with your child. Don't put all the pressure on your child to do active things alone. Join him or her in talking walks, going on bike rides or other activities to make it fun and beneficial at the same time.
40. Be a role model. If your child sees you sitting on the couch, eating poorly and caring little for your health, they aren't going to be particularly motivated to make changes for themselves. Make it a point to change
your lifestyle as well to instill positive and healthy values in your child.
41. Plan fun and active family outings. You can help get your child active and spend fun time bonding as a family by choosing family trips and outings that are more active. This can be things like taking hikes, going to the zoo, or even just taking a bike ride around town.
42. Make sure your child feels comfortable. Many overweight children feel very uncomfortable in certain active situations. Find an activity that allows your child to feel comfortable and secure while still getting the exercise they need.
43. Turn off the TV. Studies have shown that children spend up to 24 hours a week watching TV when they could be doing more active things. Limit the amount of time your child is allowed to watch TV to ensure they're getting the activity they need to be healthy.
44. Make small changes. You don't have to go all out at once. Making small changes like taking the stairs instead of the elevator or parking further away can add up over time and help your child in the long run.
45. Encourage children to play sports. Whether it's a game of soccer in your backyard or a real organized team, encourage your child to find a sport that he or she enjoys playing.
46. Get your child a bike or rollerblades. Fitness that helps a child get to where they need to be faster can be a way to motivate children to get out there and get active.
47. Take trips to the park. Parks are full of ways that are not only healthy but also fun to get active. You and your child can take walks, play on the playground, play sports and much more. 48. Try out more active video games. If your child is dead set on playing video games, try providing them with games that get them more active like Dance, Dance Revolution and a variety of games for the Wii.
49. Make it fun. Don't make fitness a bore for your child or something they dread. Make it fun instead by getting involved and making fitness more of a game at first.
50. Start with active things around the house. If you have a child that doesn't seem too keen on running around, you can start out by having them help you around the house. Pulling weeds, sweeping the floor or dusting the furniture may not be fun, but they are healthier for your child than sitting on the couch.

A MAN KILLS HIMSELF AND LIVES TO TELL THE TALE

2008-07-24T23:44:00.000-07:00

I killed myself about three years ago. That’s right. Well, nearly right. Well, okay, it’s pretty far from the truth in a literal sense, but in a figurative or metaphorical sense it is true; I killed off the ‘me’ that I realized I didn’t like any more, a me that was unhealthy and unskillful, and slowly allowing itself to plummet deeper into obesity and physical and spiritual unhealthiness. Perhaps killed is too strong a word – systematically re-configured might be an interesting and accurate euphemism… There are so many people in this world who are unhappy with their lot, but all they can do is point the finger at others and blame someone or something else for their current predicament. Those people should think more carefully about what they really want, and then take positive, structured steps towards attaining it.

STAGNATING

After a few years of living here in Thailand, I became sick and tired of hearing people moaning about the salary they were getting paid, the students they had to teach (Thai students, on the whole, are a breeze to teach!), and generally became annoyed by the woe-is-me-like tendencies of these people. I was in a similar position to many of them, but I certainly didn’t, even for a moment, whine and complain. To my mind, even my relatively spiritually unsophisticated mind back then, it was clear to me that complaining would get me nowhere. I had created my position in life through my actions, and if I was unhappy with my placement, and if there was opportunity to progress, I would do it; I figured there was little sense in complaining about something which I thought I could change. Instead, I tried to find a solution. Although it may seem obvious to immediately seek a solution to a problem, many of us don’t actually work towards finding solutions to our problems. Instead, we just complain about them, which is insane!

To prove my point: imagine of all the water in your house suddenly stopped running. What would you do? Well, you would rush to try and fix it as soon as possible, right? You would do this urgently, as your would consider your quality of life to be immediately affected by the lack of water. Your body would feel unclean and you would be embarrassed to walk around undertaking the days duties unwashed for everyone to see. We can draw comparisons here with those of us who sense that something is missing in our lives, maybe something which we used to have - a positive outlook on life, perhaps. Those of us who constantly complain about our predicament when we have the full ability to change it can be considered spiritually rather than physically unclean. These people identify a problem, but do nothing to rectify it. They only have themselves to blame - they are stagnating; and as we know with stagnant water, if it is left untreated it becomes rank and generally unpleasing to be around.

BITE THE BULLET

The problem with my situation was that I wasn’t suitably qualified to be earning the kind of money that I wanted, and that I saw some of my peers earning. Now, although money is not the most important thing in the world, it is still critical to the survival and happiness of most people in the world – those who don’t require it are often supported by donations of money (such as Buddhist monks in Thailand), or are completely self-sufficient, although this latter cross-section of society is very rare. I decided to look into what qualifications and experience I would need to be able to bring ‘happiness’ (read: more money) and security into my life. The results of my research were challenging, and would require me to leave Thailand for an extended period of time, return to the UK, and work the hardest that I have ever had to work in my entire life. I was unsure whether or not I had the gumption to proceed. To cut a very long story very short, I was given some excellent advice from the director of studies at the time. He said, quite simply: bite the bullet and get it done. And that’s exactly what I did. I have been entirely happy with that decision ever since, and it actually proved to be the first in a series of very specific and inter-connected events that shaped my life and brought me to where I am today; a place which is very happy indeed.

SHORT-TERM vs. LONG-TERM HAPPINESS

It is always easier to think in terms of short term happiness, whether it is buying on hire-purchase that home theatre system that you don’t really need, or having an extra glass of wine although you know it will put you over the limit. And this is exactly what the people who I refer to in this post are doing: they are only thinking about what is easiest for the short-term, not what is best for the long-term. The particular cross-section of people whom I refer to in this post - ESL teachers in Thailand - have a relatively comfortable life here, earning several times the local salary and affording themselves luxuries of all kinds (read into that whatever you will) that cannot be found in the west for the same price, and they are very reluctant to leave it all behind, even for a relatively short amount of time.

Every day that goes by sees them moving further away from the possibility of realisng their dreams in the same way that having the extra glass of wine before driving home weakens your resolve to do what you know is best for the long term. This is the main barrier to their success and happiness: in short, they are not string enough in mind to ‘bite the bullet’ – it is far easier to settle for second best and complain about ‘what ifs’. The key? Clear thinking and intelligent decision making based on objectively weighing up the pros and cons of the action with reference to your long term goals.

In order to achieve this, you need to realize that the part of your mind which focuses on gluttony and derives pleasure from physical comforts will try to over power your clear and realistic thinking. Don’t let it. Bite the bullet and get whatever needs to be done done!

You might end up killing yourself doing it, but it will be worth it, and you’ll live to tell the tale!