CHELEH @AirbrushedRouge

DV Video: Christina Aguilera - I'm OK

2010-10-13T01:58:00.005-04:00

Spread awareness and help to stop partner violence. If you know of someone who is being abused, encourage him or her to seek help!

...xoxo|cheleh

Man in Quebec Being Abused

2010-10-12T14:26:00.004-04:00

Let us not forget our male victims!

One does not have to understand French to feel what is happening here! This is a very short but powerful clip.

Please if you know of ANYONE being abused, encourage him or her to seek help.

...xoxo|cheleh

National Domestic Violence Hotlines & Resources

2010-10-11T02:37:00.005-04:00

National Domestic Violence Hotline
Staffed 24 hours a day by trained counselors who can provide crisis assistance and information about shelters, legal advocacy, health care centers, and counseling.
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TDD)

Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization. Among its programs, RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline and the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline at rainn.org. This nationwide partnership of more than 1,100 local rape crisis centers provide victims of sexual assault with free and confidential services 24 hours per day, 7 days per week. These hotlines have helped over 1.3 million people since RAINN's founding in 1994.

1-800-656-HOPE

Family Violence Prevention Fund
383 Rhode Island Street, Suite 304
San Francisco, CA 94103-5133
Phone: 415-252-8900
TTY:800-595-4889
FAX: 415-252-8991
E-mail: info@endabuse.org

Washington, DC Office
1101 14th Street, NW #300
Washington DC 20005
Phone: 202-682-1212
Fax: 202-682-4662

Boston Office
67 Newbury Street, Mezzanine Level
Boston, MA 02116
Phone: 617-262-5900
Fax:617-262-5901

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
Main Office
1120 Lincoln Street
Suite 1603
Denver, CO 80203
Phone: 303 839 1852
TTY: (303) 839-8459
Fax: (303) 831-9251
E-mail: mainoffice@ncadv.org

Public Policy Office
1633 Q Street NW, Suite 210
Washington, DC 20009
Phone: (202) 745-1211
TTY: (202) 745-2042
Fax: (202) 745-0088
E-mail: publicpolicy@ncadv.org

National Battered Women's Law Project
275 7th Avenue, Suite 1206
New York, NY 10001
Phone: 212-741-9480
FAX: 212-741-6438

Safe Horizons
2 Lafayette Street, 3rd Floor
New York, NY 10007
Crime Victims HOTLINE: 800-621-4673
Rape and Sexual Assault & Incest HOTLINE: 212-227-3000
TYY (for all HOTLINES) 866-604-5350
Fax:212-577-3897
E-mail: help@safehorizons.org

Domestic Violence Shelter Tour
2 Lafayette Street 3rd Floor
New York, NY 10007
Phone: 212-577-7700
Fax: 212-385-0331
24-hour hotline: 800-621-HOPE (4673)

Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence
6400 Flank Drive, Suite 1300
Harrisburg, PA 17112
Phone: 800-537-2238
Fax: 717-545-9456

Legal Office:
Phone: 717-545-6400
TOLL FREE: 800-932-4632
TTY:800-533-2508
Fax: 717-671-5542

Health Resource Center on Domestic Violence
Family Violence Prevention Fund
383 Rhode Island Street, Suite 304
San Francisco, CA 94103-5133
Phone: 800-313-1310
FAX: 415-252-8991

Battered Women's Justice Project
Minnesota Program Development, Inc
1801 Nicollet Ave, Suite 102
Minneapolis, MN 55403
Phone: 800-903-0111, ext.1
Phone: 612-824-8768
Fax: 612-824-8965

Resource Center on Domestic Violence, Child Protection, and Custody
NCJFCJ
P.O. Box 8970
Reno, NV 89507
Office: 775-784-6012
Phone: 800-527-3223
Fax: 775-784-6628
Email: staff@ncjfcj.org
They are only a resource center for professionals and agencies.

Battered Women's Justice Project
c/o National Clearinghouse for the Defense of Battered Women
125 South 9th Street, Suite 302
Philadelphia, PA 19107
TOLL-FREE: 800-903-0111 ext. 3
Phone: 215-351-0010
FAX: 215-351-0779
National Clearinghouse is a national resource and advocacy center providing assistance to women defendants, their defense attorneys, and other members of their defense teams in an effort to insure justice for battered women charged with crimes.

National Clearinghouse on Marital and Date Rape
2325 Oak Street
Berkeley, CA 94708
Phone: 510-524-1582

Faith Trust Institute
(Formerly Center for the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Violence)
2400 N. 45th Street #10
Seattle , WA 98103
Phone: 206-634-1903, ext. 10
Fax: 206-634-0115
Email: info@faithtrustinstitute.org

National Network to End Domestic Violence
2001 S Street NW, Suite 400
Washington, DC 20009
Phone: 202-543-5566
HOTLINE:800-799-SAFE (7233)
TTY: 800-787-3224
FAX: 202-543-5626

Womenspace National Network to End Violence Against Immigrant Women
1212 Stuyvesant Ave.
Trenton, NJ 08618
Phone: 609-394-0136
24 Hour Mercer County Hotline: 609-394-9000
Fax:609-396-1093
Email: info@womenspace.org

Counseling & Support Services
1860 Brunswick Ave.
Lawrenceville, NJ 086448
Phone: 609-394-2532

Source: Feminist Majority Foundation

Signs that You're In an Abusive Relationship

2010-10-08T14:27:00.002-04:00

SIGNS THAT YOU’RE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
Your Inner Thoughts and Feelings	Your Partner’s Belittling Behavior
Do you: feel afraid of your partner much of the time? avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner? feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner? believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated? wonder if you’re the one who is crazy? feel emotionally numb or helpless?	Does your partner: humiliate or yell at you? criticize you and put you down? treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see? ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments? blame you for his own abusive behavior? see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
Your Partner’s Violent Behavior or Threats	Your Partner’s Controlling Behavior
Does your partner: have a bad and unpredictable temper? hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you? threaten to take your children away or harm them? threaten to commit suicide if you leave? force you to have sex? destroy your belongings?	Does your partner: act excessively jealous and possessive? control where you go or what you do? keep you from seeing your friends or family? limit your access to money, the phone, or the car? constantly check up on you?

What if Domestic Violence Wasn't Domestic At All?

2010-10-07T13:25:00.001-04:00

Would some people look at Domestic Violence differently if it didn't take place primarily in the home?

...xoxo|cheleh

Ignorance Kills -- Do Something!

2010-10-07T12:45:00.004-04:00

Do your part to help save another human being -- someone who lives and breathes just like you.

Spread awareness and help stop partner violence. If you know of someone who is being abused, encourage him or her to seek help!

...xoxo|cheleh

Disgusting Domestic Violence Humor

2010-10-06T12:33:00.000-04:00

Q. Wanna hear a joke?
A. Women's Rights

Q. What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
A. Nothing, she obviously doesn't listen.
--OR--
A. Nothing, you already told her twice.

Q. Why did the woman cross the road?
A. What's she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?

Q. Why do women keep their holes so close together?
A. So you can carry them around like a six-pack.

Q. Why do mangina males like being domestically abused by women?
A. Because, that's the only time they get attention.

Q. How many men does it take to open a beer?
A. None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.

Q. If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
A. Made her chain too long.

Q. How many battered women does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. "Cook it in the dark, bitch!"

Q. What's green and in the kitchen?
A. My bitch, and I'll paint her any color I want.

Q. What do you call the useless skin around a pussy? *TERRIBLE!*
A. A woman.

Q. Why did cavemen pull their women around by their hair?
A. Because if they pulled them around by their feet, they'd fill up with mud..

Q. Why do women have periods?
A. Because they deserve them.

Q. Why don't women need watches?
A. There’s a clock on the stove.

Q. Why does the bride always wear white?
A. Because the dishwasher should match the stove and refrigerator.

Q. What does a woman put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A. Her ankles.

Q. How are women like bowling balls?
A. You finger them and throw 'em in the gutter, and they keep coming back for more.

Q. A motorcyclist hits a woman. Whose fault is it?
A. The woman's. She wasn't in the kitchen.
--OR--
The motorcyclist's. What was he doing riding his bike in the kitchen?

Q. What's the difference between my wife and an onion?
A. I didn't cry when I chopped up my wife.

Source: EncyclopediaDramatica.com

Teens, Tweens & Technology...Danger?

2010-10-05T21:02:00.005-04:00

Did you know? Wow.

Approximately one in three adolescent girls in the United States is a victim of physical, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner – a figure that far exceeds victimization rates for other types of violence affecting youth.
One in five tweens – age 11 to 14 – say their friends are victims of dating violence and nearly half who are in relationships know friends who are verbally abused. Two in five of the youngest tweens, ages 11 and 12, report that their friends are victims of verbal abuse in relationships.
These teen victims of physical dating violence are more likely than their non-abused peers to smoke, use drugs, engage in unhealthy diet behaviors (taking diet pills or laxatives and vomiting to lose weight), engage in risky sexual behaviors, and attempt or consider suicide.

Where does Technology come in? Your children are in danger!

Technology has become a quick and easy way for stalkers to monitor and harass their victims. More than one in four stalking victims reports that some form of cyberstalking was used against them, such as email (83 percent of all cyberstalking victims) or instant messaging. Electronic monitoring of some kind is used to stalk one in 13 victims.
One in five teen girls and one in ten younger teen girls (age 13 to 16) have electronically sent or posted nude or semi-nude photos or videos of themselves. Even more teen girls, 37 percent, have sent or posted sexually suggestive text, email or IM (instant messages).
More than half of teen girls (51 percent) say pressure from a guy is a reason girls send sexy messages or images, while only 18 percent of teen boys say pressure from a girl is a reason. Twelve percent of teen girls who have sent sexually suggestive messages or images say they felt “pressured” to do so.

How is this relevant to DV?

Children who have been molested or sexually abused have a higher risk of being victimized in domestic violence situations as adults. They demonstrate low self esteem and are more apt to stay in unhealthy situations. Doing everything you can to prevent sexual abuse to your teen may help her to stand up against domestic abuse later.

There are many sexual predators roaming the World Wide Web. If that weren't enough, your children have access to dating sites, porn sites and more with just an "I Agree" and a click of a button. Protect them! Monitor the web sites they are going to and use the white/black lists to provide access to only approved sites. Help save your child's self esteem and do not let your children fall into the hands of sexual predators!

For years, parents have instructed their children not to post their full name, social security number, email address, phone number, and other detailed information online. We told them to be cautious of posting information that could be used to identity them while offline, such as name of school, sports teams, clubs, and places where they work or hang out. We used to tell them not to post their photos.

These days, those straight arrow rules are hard to apply. In Facebook for example, even if you do not upload your own photo your friends can tag you in pictures. Fortunately you have the capacity to block certain people from seeing your 'info,' block photo tags, and block just about any action. Look into it and make sure you take full advantage of the privacy practices they offer. It is okay to allow access to certain sites for your children based on trust and responsibility but be sure to monitor them and check them often!

Here are some more 'current' tips to review with your Teens & Tweens:

Remember that once you post information online, you can’t take it back. Even if you delete the information from a site, older versions exist on other people’s computers.
Flirting with strangers online could have serious consequences. Because some people lie about who they really are, you never really know who you’re dealing with.
Be wary if a new online friend wants to meet you in person. Before you decide to meet someone, do your research: Ask whether any of your friends know the person, and see what background you can dig up through online search engines. If you decide to meet them, be smart about it: Meet in a public place, during the day, with friends you trust. Tell an adult or a responsible sibling where you’re going, and when you expect to be back.
Trust your gut if you have suspicions. If you feel threatened by someone or uncomfortable because of something online, tell an adult you trust and report it to the police and the social networking site. You could end up preventing someone else from becoming a victim.

It's never too soon to start protecting the women of tomorrow!

Spread the word. October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please if you know of someone who is being abused, encourage him or her to seek help.

...xoxo|cheleh

Poetic Justice

2010-10-04T13:56:00.010-04:00

Download PDF Version for Printing >>

Warning: Explicit Language / Content

Poetic Justice
by Micheleh Center

How could you do it?

i will never look at you
lovingly again
i will never feel safe
around you again
is this what you wanted

Why did you do it?

why did i spend so much time
taking pictures
just to burn them all
just like i wish
i could burn you
like you
burned
me

falling in love with your kids
planting them into my heart
just to say goodbye
and become estranged

Sigh.

i loved them
because i loved you
i loved our life

Then.

you began ignoring me
you stayed out
leaving me at home
alone
to nag and complain
to be the party pooper

i was your trophy wife
i was your automatic babysitter
then i was the old pussy
the housemaid
and i became your
punching bag too

Ouch.

my face hurts
my family trusted you
i hate you so much
for ruining everything
destroying what we were
or what we could've been

now i am the one
forced to build
a life from scratch
to feed your seed
you fucked me over
you stupid
mother fucker
you

Louder.

when you sliced my throat
with that knife
threatening to kill me
did you love it
when you dragged me around
with your belt around my neck
did you feel you had to
when you beat me in my face
almost sixty times
in a row
did you love me then

Breathe.

when you dragged me
bleeding
up and down the stairs
was i heavy
when you asked me
trick questions
just to beat me more
did you care if i died
when you used clorox
to clean up my blood
afterward
did your heart beat faster

Cry.

how could you
act as if i deserved this
accuse me of cheating
when you were the one
sleeping around
how could you
promise to never hurt me
while lying all along
through your teeth

my dreams were replaced
by screams
you used me up
spat me out
and no one will ever
want me
again

Weep.

when you forced me
to screw you
while beating me senseless
were you tenderizing my meat
when i screamed NO
and you raped me harder
would your mother approve
when i threw up as you came
was that a sign
that i was begging for it

my face was numb
ruptured eardrum
i counted sheep as
you struck me
airways closed off
body turning purple
i prayed for death
as you fucked me

Shriek.

I will never forget
that scowl
white knuckles
fists clenched
or how much
you made me
HATE
my own
skin

Stand.

i was weak
but i'm growing stronger
i'm finding strength in
my own ways
you better watch out
for this old
pussy
has seen the end
of those spineless days

i am woman
i am mother
i am fearless
and i’m your wife
scared into silence
NO MORE

Hope.

Download PDF Version for Printing >>

Thanks to all who have kept up with my daily posts so far during this ultra-important October dedicated to domestic violence awareness.

To clarify, this poem describes an event that took place in my life over seven years ago. It is not a current occurrence though I thank you all for your concerns. If you know of someone who is being abused, encourage him or her to seek help.

If you are interested in booking me for a speaking engagement, whether virtual or in person, please fill out the Booking Request.

...xoxo|cheleh

Find a Reason for Living

2010-10-03T13:51:00.019-04:00

The fight against domestic violence is a very serious one for me. I know first-hand the damage that domestic violence and abuse does to a woman's spirit and a child's future. When I wasn't crying or depressed, I was fatigued. I kept two to four jobs at a time to make ourselves a home and to keep us afloat. Not only did I have a broken spirit, but the incident left me with debt, bad credit and not a penny to my name. The idea of suicide visited me regularly. On good days I would think about it only a few times. On bad days I couldn't stop wishing for it.

My son (now eldest son) was my guiding light. His smile calmed me like nothing else could. Raising him was a joy. It was like he knew exactly what was going on and he was being an 'easy baby' to get me through it all…as if he was being a perfect baby for me so that he would not add to my grief. Every day I thanked God for allowing me to keep him while losing all else. I was thankful because despite everything, we -- mother and child -- still had our lives. Although we endured tremendous suffering, we were spared the worst loss of them all.

Stay tuned each day this month for new posts recollecting the incident and posts on how I healed. Please if you know of someone who is being abused, encourage him or her to seek help.

...xoxo|cheleh

You are not Alone

2010-10-02T13:57:00.003-04:00

For months after the incident I felt immense isolation. It was me against the world and I was lonely. No one could have possibly understood the pain I was going through and no one could have eased that pain. I didn't even want to think about it; I didn't want to recollect what had happened. I wanted to erase all thoughts of it from my mind and I didn't succeed. I had nightmares about the coming trial and flashbacks of everything. In showers, I would claw at my skin until I bled down the drain just trying to remove remnants of the evil that made me scream in my sleep. All I wanted to do was write, draw, listen to music and play with the one person keeping me alive -- my beautiful baby.

...xoxo|cheleh

Letter to My Abuser...

2010-10-01T11:04:00.018-04:00

2782 Days, 12 hours, 48 minutes, 45 seconds since he's been behind bars. ...and counting.

It has been almost 2800 days since my 'Big Day,' and No, by 'big day' I don't mean marriage. More so, it was the death of my youthfulness, death of my freedom, death of my hope and my spirit. It was the day I came within an inch of my life.

My relationship with my ex-husband was not one filled with violence. It was most times sweet, sometimes trying and every now and then I would see a flash of anger from him. Never did I ever imagine what would occur that day, Valentine's Day of 2003. On that day, he committed the felony offenses of rape, aggravated sodomy, aggravated assault, and family violence battery against me.

Although I was scared for my life and filled with hatred for everything around me, I spoke out against him. I did it to save other women from his wrath. It was one of the hardest decisions of my life. After a grueling trial that lasted almost a full year, he was sentenced to 15yrs in prison with no parole.

(Details of the incident to come in next passages...)

After the incident, I contacted my abuser only one time 2005. He had been sitting in prison for 2 years and after moving to a new address, I was forwarded a bundle of about 20 of his letters.

In his letters, he mostly wrote about how he found God, how he wanted to still make our marriage work, and how much he loved me and his kids. He kept referring to me still as his wife, and in parts of his letters acted as if everything would be okay again.

Here's what I finally wrote back:

"i haven't used this email address in 1-2 yrs.......... i don't know why i'm writing back to you... except for the fact that i am surprised that you tried to reach out to me and i'm curious to see if you still check your email somehow... i'm retrieving your letter almost a year after you wrote it. i think that's the longest email you've ever written to me. strange how things work........ you used to be too busy to write much.

where are you. are you still at the address that you listed? you're able to write and check email? i'm not exactly sure what goes on where you are. i'm not even sure if you'll get this since my reply is so late........ people always ask me if i've spoken to you... and of course my answer has always been no.

i have tears streaming down my face... i haven't cried over you in so long, and this will be my last time.... reading your email only gets me confused. i can't determine if you're being genuine... you apologized for the things you 'said' but you didn't even mention how much you hurt me physically. i don't think you'll ever change, stop me if i'm wrong but you don't regret any of it at all do you? of course not. well i've changed. i don't trust any one. i don't do drugs. i don't drink in large quantities. nothing like that will ever happen again. i realize now that no matter who was right or wrong, with all that we were 'doing,' all odds were against us. we looked outside of the relationship too much for happiness instead of finding it within. i would've done anything for you... i loved you so much. those days are over now, i can't believe i was so weak around you.

i have wanted to file for a divorce so many times... but when i get the guts to do it, i end up not having the money to. the baby is not a baby anymore. he will be 3 in a couple weeks... he is potty trained (pees standing up, i'm so proud of him) and he talks a lot now. but he whines a lot as well........ i'm trying to break him out of it and toughen him up but i think it's just because he's been through so much and he doesn't have a father in his life. other than that we are well. just me and him, in a state i've never lived in before......... hanging in there .. or trying to.

you did try your best for me... from day one... but the last couple months were the most hurtful and trying times of my life. i remember seeing you cry in court. were those tears real? if they were, what were you crying about? and please don't sit there and say that you love me. i don't believe you."

Spread the word, that today is the start of Domestic Violence Awareness Month! Stay tuned each day this month for new posts recollecting the incident and posts on how I healed. Please if you know of someone who is being abused, encourage him or her to seek help.

...xoxo|cheleh

October Is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month

2010-09-30T12:44:00.001-04:00

Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM) evolved from the “Day of Unity” in October 1981 conceived by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. The intent was to connect advocates across the nation who were working to end violence against women and their children. The Day of Unity soon became an entire week devoted to a range of activities conducted at the local, state, and national levels.

The activities conducted were as varied and diverse as the program sponsors but had common themes: mourning those who have died because of domestic violence, celebrating those who have survived, and connecting those who work to end violence.

In October 1987, the first Domestic Violence Awareness Month was observed. That same year marks the initiation of the first national domestic violence toll-free hotline. In 1989 the U.S. Congress passed Public Law 101-112 designating October of that year as National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Such legislation has passed every year since with NCADV providing key leadership in this effort. Each year, the Day of Unity is celebrated the first Monday of Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

The work of the DVAP strives to creatively bring to life its statement of purpose:

The Domestic Violence Awareness Project (DVAP) supports the rights of all women and girls to live in peace and dignity. Violence and all other forms of oppression against all communities of women and their children must be eliminated. To change belief systems and practices that support violence against all women, the DVAP recognizes and promotes the participation of the entire community in building social intolerance towards domestic violence.

The purpose of the DVAP is to support and promote the national, tribal, state and local advocacy networks in their ongoing public education efforts through public awareness campaigns, strategies, materials, resources, capacity-building and technical assistance. These strategies include campaigns that address the victimization of women throughout their lifespan. The voices, leadership and expertise of women who have been battered are acknowledged as critical and necessary components of these campaigns.

SAFETY ALERT: If you are in danger, please call 911, your local hotline, or (in the U.S.) the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224.

For more information on National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, visit the Domestic Violence Awareness Project website.

iSight Cam on the MacBook Pro

2010-09-29T02:00:00.002-04:00

Oh my goodness, is it an iSight parade? Can you tell I can't sleep at night? LOL. Here are some random cam pics. Some with my new little bundle of joy and some others. :) Not so good without my glam crew huh? God I miss having stylists all around me. ...xoxo|cheleh

Domestic Violence & Its Effects

2010-09-27T11:43:00.011-04:00

Domestic Violence: Domestic violence term is used for the people who are bonded through law, blood or personal intimacy. It is defined as an abusive behaviour in any relationship by one or both partners to maintain power and control over another. It is also known as domestic abuse, child abuse, and intimate partner violence (IPV). The various instances of domestic violence include physical aggression like hitting, biting, restraining etc, or threats like sexual abuse, controlling or domineering, emotional abuse, stalking or passive/covert abuse (like neglect). It may or may not constitute a crime, depending on local severity and duration of specific acts.

Domestic violence exhibits on three levels namely-physical, mental and emotional. Physical violence can be direct or indirect. Direct violence includes unwanted contact, marital rape and murder. Indirect physical violence includes destroying objects, abusing dependents and harming pets. Another slot of violence includes verbal threats, insults, non verbal threats like facial expressions, body language, threatening gestures etc.

Domestic violence is nothing but a health problem that leaves psychological effects on human beings across all societies. It spoils the life of men, women, children and families. According to survey, women have been found to be more vulnerable to domestic abuse. They become victims of physical, mental and sexual abuse by their partner’s families, and even strangers. This is just because of their weakness in terms of physical strength.

Domestic violence can destroy the future of the children. Children who witnessed domestic violence can themselves become abusers in their adult life. They started copying the violent behaviour they see, both as children and as adults. They may loose their self confidence or feel guilty and blame themselves for what is happening. They may develop stress-related problems in health.

Domestic violence awareness and documentation differs from country to country. In these days, various countries recognize the legal rights of partners who are into live in relationships. All humans whether men or women should be made aware that they are authorize to live their lives in a safe and healthy atmosphere. They also conduct their lives without fear of physical and emotional abuse. Domestic violence requires to be tackled very seriously as it severs health hazard to human beings. Lesbian and gay relationships have been granted legal rights in California to fight domestic violence between people who are trapped in unnatural sexual relationships.

It also hugely damaging to the state in terms of time and money spent by law enforcers, courts and social activists. There are various social welfare organizations which are now being built with complete functional staff and shelter facilities for the victims of domestic world over.

So in brief we can say that the effects of domestic violence on human society are immeasurable. It is never eliminated from the world or society unless they refuse to tolerate it. It requires change in the basic nature of every human being in society world over. If the law does not implement punishments to those who violate others either in family or at work place, the weaker will continue to be violated and abused by the stronger.

Source: Today Articles

George Mccrae - I get lifted

2010-09-26T03:13:00.002-04:00

Love it! ...xoxo|cheleh

Sleeping with the enemy...

2010-09-24T04:56:00.000-04:00

On average, more than three women and one man are murdered by their intimate partners in this country every day.

Domestic Violence Victims: How to Get Help

2010-07-14T16:11:00.001-04:00

by Judge Jeanine Pirro posted Wednesday, July 14, 2010 @momlogic

The Mel Gibson tapes are a harsh reminder of the fact that women are abused every day by the men who claim to love them most.

Judge Jeanine Pirro, of the syndicated television show "Judge Pirro," tells momlogic: "Based upon what we know so far, there is sufficient evidence to go forward with criminal charges. There's a victim, evidence of injury, immediate outcry to friends and corroboration from Mel Gibson himself. Now the D.A. will decide if he wants to go forward with charges. Gibson could be charged with child endangerment (for hitting ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva while she was holding the baby) or felony domestic violence. Gibson has shown himself to be anti-Semitic, misogynistic, racist and homophobic. The reality is that it appears he has committed several crimes for which he can be charged and sent to jail."

Judge Pirro says that a woman who finds herself in a situation where she is being physically, emotionally or verbally abused should call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 immediately. "Their lines are open 24/7, they operate in 170 languages through interpreter services and they can refer you to local resources in your community and help you develop a safety plan and an exit plan," she says. "Every call is anonymous and confidential."

Judge Pirro is an active member of the National Domestic Violence Hotline Celebrity Board, along with Salma Hayek and Martina McBride. "I was recently in Austin, Texas, at the NDVH headquarters," Judge Pirro says. "I started the first domestic violence unit in the nation thirty years ago, and let me tell you: The people at this hotline are experts. They're all about empowering women in violent relationships to extricate themselves from these dangerous situations. They offer lifesaving intervention and support, and they're an amazing group of people."

But what if women in domestic violence situations are too scared to leave? "Women have to recognize that it's scarier to NOT leave," Judge Pirro says. "Leaving is a very dangerous time -- men often become infuriated because their 'property,' as they see it, is leaving. But I've prosecuted many domestic violence homicide cases -- and staying is much more dangerous. The violence escalates, and the woman is so battered that she believes she is worthless. Women need to make that one phone call. An expert can help her come up with a real exit strategy and open doors that she couldn't open on her own."

According to Judge Pirro, victims must recognize that the last beating is not the last beating -- there's an increase in intensity as time goes on. "If he hits you once, he'll hit you again -- and the next time will be worse than the last time," Judge Pirro warns. "The most important thing to do is reach out for help."

Judge Pirro says that there are many survivors like Oksana out there. "It's about recognizing that you're worthwile, you're valuable and that he's wrong," she says. "These men who hit women are cowards. It's about power and control -- what they want to do is completely control a woman. Mel Gibson is a classic batterer: On the tape, he said, 'You deserved it.' Assuming that it's his voice, this is a man who is not only admitting to the crime, but is also saying that Oksana is responsible for her own victimization. He is the lowest of the low, and he belongs in jail. If what we are hearing is true, this man is an out-of-control menace to society, and he is a danger."

You can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.

LEVEL1CONCEPT WEBSITE LAUNCHED

2010-06-25T05:33:00.000-04:00

Leaving With No Plan Can Be Dangerous

2010-05-19T17:01:00.005-04:00

By Buddy T, About.com Guide Updated May 19, 2010

For those locked into an abusive relationship, getting help is not always as simple as just leaving, in fact it could be dangerous.

In last week's article we saw how victims of domestic abuse are usually not only in physical danger of the batterer, but usually have been economically and geographically isolated in an effort to control them, making it even harder to get help.

Just leaving can be dangerous too. According to a 1994 pamphlet put out by Battered Women Fighting Back Inc. in Boston, women who leave their batterers are at a 75 percent greater risk of being killed by their batterer than those who stay. Obtaining a restraining order is often part of leaving an abuser.

Many times well-meaning friends will tell the battered victim to "get out now!" Even in our Chat Room here at the Alcoholism site, victims of domestic abuse are sometimes advised to leave and leave quickly. But that may not be the best course of action, without a plan.

Restraining Orders

Merely calling the police and obtaining a restraining (protection) order does not always work either. A restraining order is just a piece of paper. According to an analysis done of 18,369 male defendants in Massachusetts, against whom restraining orders were issued, the risk of an order being violated within six months was 15.4 percent.

There is some evidence that getting the police involved and obtaining a restraining order can actually trigger more violence. If the abuser has a very violent history, has a long arrest record or has already served time in jail, or is addicted to drugs or alcohol so that normal inhibitors don't kick in, a restraining order may offer little in the way of a deterrent.

In some cases restraining orders are effective. In many cases they appear to stop abuse, empower the victims and increase police responsiveness.

A Safety Plan

Leaving the residence to get away from the battering partner may be the best course of action in some cases. But leaving must be done with a careful plan in order to increase safety. Batterers often strike back when they believe that a battered woman is leaving the relationship.

The Oakland County Coordination Council Against Domestic Violence has created an excellent Personalized Safety Plan checklist to help victims of domestic violence plan a safe escape from the abusive situation, including safety after the actual separation.

The plan provides tips on how victims can protect themselves during a violent incident, when preparing to leave, in a new place of residence, and on the job and in public. It also gives a list of items to take when leaving.

Other Sources of Help

The problem with the above safety plan is that many abuse victims do not have the resources to leave in the first place. Many do not have automobiles, jobs, or the funds to relocate, if they have been economically isolated by the abuser.

The truth is domestic violence is more common among the poor than it is among the wealthy and middle class. It is more prevalent in cities with higher levels of poverty and among ethnic groups with a greater percentage of low-income families. It is also more common among the unemployed.

For those who do not have the financial or family support resources to leave the situation help is available by calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Many communities have shelters available for victims of domestic abuse, check the local yellow pages. A state-to-state list of Domestic Violence Coalition telephone numbers is available online.

But there are not enough shelters available for victims. The first battered women's shelter in the United States was opened in St. Paul, Minnesota only 20 years ago. Today there are 1,500 shelters for battered women in the United States. There are 3,800 animal shelters.

Victory - Tye Tribbett & G.A.

2010-03-26T13:51:00.000-04:00

Can't get sick of this song! Wow it gets me pumped up! ...xoxo|cheleh

Wise Woman Once Said...

2010-01-08T14:18:00.000-05:00

"Your own words and your own actions matter the most, no matter what your external surroundings...no matter what or who provokes you. It is up to you to stay patient, clear headed, and respond in a manner that will cause the least amount of resistance or stress."

Thanks Mom :)

...xoxo|cheleh

Damond and Santa - Christmas 2009

2009-12-25T14:38:00.007-05:00

Mimi, Damond, and I went to Perimeter Mall on New Year's Eve so that Damond could visit with Santa Claus. He barely fit on Santa's lap this time! He's still such a cutie pie but I cannot believe how big he is getting!
We had Christmas Breakfast at Mimi's around the tree, and Damond was very happy to get his new Nintendo DS (games: ATV Racing, Ben 10) and pet beta fish amongst other things. Ernie and I are enjoying our new PS3 (games: Little Big Planet, Wet, GTA, Batman, Madden 10, COD MW2, Army of Two, Resident Evil) and Mimi is enjoying her new 40" LCD TV and cable! Everyone is happy and I am so blessed. ...xoxo|cheleh

My mark eBoutique

2009-12-01T13:07:00.003-05:00

Introducing my mark ... beauty, fashion, and skincare boutique!

Feel free to visit and shop often. I'll keep you up to date on the latest trends in beauty and fashion, and even help you with gift-giving ideas. At mark there's always something new.

I'm also happy to provide you with samples of products, and to answer any questions you might have. For the quickest response, contact me using the link in the upper right hand corner.

Support the fight against date abuse and partner violence. Buy a have a heart necklace ($22) or glow baby glow lip gloss ($5.50) from my eBoutique and 100% of the net proceeds goes to m.powerment, a philanthropic initiative committed to breaking the cycle of dating abuse and partner violence.

ENTER THE SHOP

...xoxo|cheleh

Thanksgiving 2009

2009-11-26T21:48:00.003-05:00

This year for Thanksgiving we had a very nice dinner at home.

Initially I was going to visit my Mom, Step-Dad, and Sis in NY (and also attend my 10yr High School reunion while up there) but plans got canceled and I stayed in town instead.
We got a turkey and ham from Honey Baked Ham. Mimi made sweet potatoes and the dressing (family recipe). I made the rest of the sides including scalloped potatoes, gravy, grilled veggie medley, baked macaroni and cheese, green beans, and corn niblets. We also had frozen pies that we baked...Apple and Pumpkin...Mmmm. We have leftovers for years! ...xoxo|cheleh