Below is a picture of his rise to Olympic history and the throngs of adoring fans that surrounded him at the media day.

China will recall all 300,000 action figures produced. Fortunately, out of the 300,000 produced, all but 3 are still sitting on Choys R Us (玩具是我们) shelves. The 3 purchased action figures were traced back to a Michael Schneider, a self-professed “Obsessive Chelvis fan”. Mr. Schneider has decided to hang on to these collector’s items saying in a statement, “I will take my chances with not having enough lead in my bloodstream.”

The Chelvis action figure (shown left) commemorates Chelvis role in the movie Hunan Headlock, the movie that propelled him into action hero status.

China has made their own brand of the Wiggles, the popular Australian kid’s group. Dubbed, The Chiggles, these Chinese Wiggles were getting ready to kick off their international tour.

But a freak wok fire accident wounded Peter Woo, the original Blue Chiggle and they were forced to delay the launch of their tour until they found a replacement.

Chelvis to the rescue! The King of Wok and Roll has graciously offered to step in for the injured Chiggle but not before some of his demands were met. He is the King after all.

Chelvis demanded to be the “Yellow” one so Jimmy Chang, the original Yellow Chiggle moved over to the Blue spot. In addition, Chelvis has demanded to combine the popular “Fruit Salad” and “Wags The Dog” song. The new song, sung solo by Chelvis is now called, “Wags the Dog, Yummy Yummy”

Look out for Chelvis and the other Chiggles in a laundromat near you.

When you think of cheap knockoffs, you think of Chelvis. Here is a picture of the advertisement.

Bing Lee, the master Chinese baker from Vancouver’s Sweet Lee’s Chinese Bakery, who happens to be Sara Lee’s brother, has created the Chelvis Bau for everyone to enjoy.

The golden brown baked pastry is filled with all of Chelvis’ favorites: Spam, Bacon, and fried banana. Finally, the Chelvis chop logo is branded on top. Yum.

Chelvis played a free concert for the Chinese Restaurant Association for MSG Prevention (CRAMP) today in the back alley of Master Wong’s Imperial Buffet in Camden, New Jersey. Chelvis played to a raucous audience of about 3 and played a one hour set covering such classics like “Shake, Rattle, and Egg Roll”, “Panda Bear”, and “Al Yew Can Eat”.

But the real mayhem started when Chelvis busted into his new, hit single: “Want Some Dim Sum Tonight” sung to the tune of Elvis Presley’s famous song, “Are You Lonesome Tonight.”

With the recent release of the Ping Pong masterpiece, “Balls of Fury”, you may have noticed something missing: Chelvis! As some may recall, Chelvis was originally casted as “Feng”, the diabolical ping pong puppet master in the movie. He even went as far as shooting half the movie. Above is a picture of Chelvis as “Feng” from the set.

The problem is the producers felt the table tennis prowess of the Chinese heartthrob was causing many to view this as a “Chelvis flick” rather than a the “Senseless Comedy of the Year”. As a result, the producers had to resort to their second choice, Christopher Walken. Maybe Chelvis will make the director’s cut.

This pensive pose shows Chelvis walking the grounds of his Riceland Estate. He was debating whether to start Peyton Manning or Tom Brady  for his Fantasy Football team.

Chelvis is showing he’s a little bit country and a little bit rock and roll. While touring the south with his Chinatown Posse in what has been now referred to as the “Great Rickshaw Caravan”, Chelvis took the time at a local Fresh Corn roadside stand to play a few ditties. Among his 3 song set: a rousing rendition of “Hands Across America”