The day Don and I were married no one could have convinced us we could be any more in love than we were that day! However, after 37 years of marriage we both know love can deepen or it can fade. We have experienced both, and we have chosen the path of deepening our love.

It didn’t happen overnight, and at times it took hard work!

One of those times, was six months into our marriage. It was a lonely and scary season, and it felt as if we were adrift at sea with no compass to guide us. Thankfully, at that time we were scheduled to take a group of college kids to a campus ministry retreat, where (unbeknown to us) the speaker’s topic for the weekend was “Relationships”. Not only did his presentation include humorous anecdotes regarding the difficulty of communication in marriage, but it also brought much-needed answers!

One resource mentioned by the speaker was a book titled “To Understand Each Other” by Paul Tournier. This concise book opened our eyes and our hearts to the amazing dynamics of communication. Tournier’s  challenge was to be courageous enough to share our true selves with one another, and as a result come to a deeper understanding of the person God brought to us in marriage.

As we worked to apply the concepts in the book we began to move past our fears and share our deepest thoughts. The author was right —it definitely took courage to remove our self-protective shields and care more about understanding each other than being understood. It was a process that took time and caring. But it also brought incredible transformation! Our communication deepened, our acceptance of one another flowed more easily and our enjoyment of each other became a delight! We fell more deeply in love!

Today, as I look back at that season, I clearly see God’s love and faithfulness in a myriad of ways:

His timing for us to attend the retreat at the height of our difficulty.

His words spoken through a gifted retreat speaker.

His concepts conveyed through Paul Tournier’s writings, and most of all

His amazing grace that empowered us to make a lasting commitment to live every day with the desire

“to understand each other!”

Everything takes longer. Long traffic lines. Long lines at the check out, and long faces on people waiting in line. People are often grouchy and it feels as if they expect everyone else to be the same way. However, I have a “secret decision” regarding this pervading attitude of irritability.

When faced with Christmas shopping — especially as it grows closer to the actual date — I try to make a conscious decision NOT to be a grouchy, stressed person. Instead I try to smile at the people around me, be friendly and especially try to be PATIENT — even when the lines are long!

Recently, I was in line at a busy store. Things were moving along smoothly when the lady in front of me asked the teenage clerk to put some tape on her box so it wouldn’t fall open. Wordlessly, the young clerk stopped checking, walked away from the check out area and began marching quickly across the front of the store. The lady checking out turned to me with the most bewildered look on her face and instantly began apologizing!

However, the sight of that young clerk silently exiting the check out and moving in a stiff stride, struck me as funny and I began to laugh! I told the woman it was no problem and I wasn’t in any hurry. My comment seemed to help her relax and then she began to give me the play-by-play of the clerks actions.

“She looks like she’s marching!”

“Surely she could have just checked with one of the other clerks around her?”

“I’m so sorry!”

“I had no idea she would take off like that or I never would have said anything!” (I began to laugh even more)

“I think she’s coming back and carrying one piece of tape in her hand!” (This brought on laughter that produced tears in my eyes)

“Yes, she only has one piece of tape in her hand.” (More laughter from me — and then she started to laugh too)

“Can you believe this?”

“I’m so sorry!”

“Who would have thought she would take off like that!”

The girl returned to her check-out area and finished up, while I tried to contain my laughter. With her bags in hand, the woman turned to me, smiled widely and thanked me one more time for being so patient! I laughed and waved goodbye!

As I moved up to check out I glanced over my shoulder to find a line of people who had obviously become amused by the crazy situation the two of us had just encountered. It was then I realized that my “secret decision” had become visible and had resulted in turning a negative into a positive! This made me further realize…..

….Christmas shopping wasn’t the only time I needed to live out my “secret decision”! How about all day every day!

“And Mary treasured all these things in her heart.”

I love how this verse clearly says she treasured “all” these things!

I believe from the moment the angel told her she would carry the Son of God in her womb, Mary began to treasure every moment she shared with this child. Although Mary’s situation was one-of-a-kind, I truly believe most mothers experience this kind of “treasuring”.

When our children and their families gather at our home for the holidays, it’s a crazy, wonderful time! The house is filled with grandchildren flitting from room to room, pets stalking each other, and our adult children laughing and joking together. I may be in the kitchen preparing a meal, but my heart is attuned to the good-natured banter going on around me! It’s in these moments, unknown by anyone around me, that I silently open my hidden “treasure chest” and tuck away these beautiful and real moments!

In this niche in my heart I have stored things as simple as the sound of a granddaughter’s laughter as she watched a squirrel race up a tree, a special conversation with a daughter-in-law, or a kiss on the forehead of my grown son before I went to bed! Though the moments weren’t big, they were stashed into this private treasure trove!

Here are just a few “moments” from this Thanksgiving weekend:

*For our Thanksgiving meal this year I set three tables, but the kids and grandkids decided on their own to crowd around one table, because they didn’t want to be in separate rooms. Every time I looked at them smooshed together as they ate and shared what they were thankful for, the treasuring ensued.

*Our traditional trip to Santa’s Woods to pick out our Christmas tree, was made special by it being our new daughter-in-law’s first time to go with us! The boys always take a football and play catch in the open spaces or hide-n-seek with the little ones among the trees. As soon as I hear their laughter ring out through the field, the treasure chest opens and in goes the moment!

Our oldest son, Dan and his family usually travel back home on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. This year our son, Drew and his wife Kate came over early to make breakfast (as a surprise) for the family and to have a little more time with Dan and his family. Around the table our noisy, jammie-clad clan, enjoyed yummy peanut butter french toast and cinnamon pancakes…..and…

…..yes….I treasured ALL these things in my heart!

The earliest letters dated 1942 and revealed a homesick young man learning the ropes of his responsibilities and duties, with the hope of remaining stateside during World War II. He included detailed descriptions of his life on base and sad commentaries about pilots he had been training who crashed their planes. However, the underlying theme was his love and care for his younger siblings and parents back home. In one of his first letters he stated, “I know more than ever that a fellow never appreciates a home or anything as he should until he has to leave and can’t get leave when he wants to.”

The fifth oldest of twelve children, he often wrote about sending major portions of his pay check home. With force he stated his next check was to be used for the little girls snow suits or clothing items they might need. When he learned he wouldn’t be home for Christmas in ’42, he wrote, “I’m also writing Lois (his older sister) and going to have her send you that money for Christmas presents, and by God don’t use it for anything else. Cause I want all of you that are home to have some kind of present from me. I’m also going to have her get the dolls for the kids out of the money that she has of mine.” He asked only for underwear and warm socks for himself that year.

At one point he revealed his deep concern for his little sisters who had contracted the measles. He scolded his mom for not writing, while at the same time expressed understanding of how busy she must be. The following letter found him apologizing and admitting his anger was born out of his deep concern for his “little girls”.

In later letters he often mentioned his desire to come home on furlough, his longing to see them (especially his little sisters), his love for each one, and his concern for his three brothers also serving in the war. He wrote to all three regularly and expected replies from them. If he hadn’t heard from them in quite some time his letter carried a fearful tone to it. He noted that one brother had written trying to let him know where he was stationed, but the information had been scribbled over and was not legible. The military hadn’t allowed his brother to disclose to his family his overseas location.

While awaiting orders of where he would be stationed permanently, he said, “And don’t worry about me cause no matter where I go I’ll be ok.” When at last he received orders, he found he would be stationed stateside as a flight instructor for the B-24 bombers heading to Germany.

While reading through these “treasures”, the core values of my dad’s heart rose from the pages like mountain peaks on a clear day. Deep love for his family, expressed through his yearning to be home with them, and his continual commitment to sacrificially provide monetarily, were his top priorities throughout the entire tenure of his three-year service. His commitment to serve and do his job thoroughly and with excellence poured from the now-yellowed pages.

Once finished I returned the letters to their envelopes and found myself with strong feelings of deep respect and honor for this devoted young man who later became my father. I considered how my siblings and I each have some resemblance of him in our physical features, and how my exposure to his letters now revealed how deeply he had shaped the features of our hearts to carry the values he had lived!

When he was a young man writing home to his mom and family, he never would have dreamed that 67 years later, his words would reveal to me the core values of his life and that his life, lived by those values, impacted my life and the lives of my children and grandchildren! I am grateful to have been given the treasure of these letters, but more importantly, to have received the treasure of his life!

a big red barn

dear friends

precious family

guitar music floating on the breeze

prayer

vows

the presence of God

our son Drew

the love of his life, Kate

their “sweetest day”

You may kiss your bride!

Congratulations Drew & Kate!

Sunday mornings have become special for me as I observe the children in our church gather and dance to the praise songs.  Watching them I often see a glimpse of who they will become…the seeds inside them that point to their destinies. For example: one of them often ignores what the group is doing and focuses on dancing and worshiping wholeheartedly. Another wraps her/his arms around others (who don’t quite want this interaction), while another wordlessly leads the rest of the group in what they should be doing! Some of these traits may fade with time, but some of them are “hints/clues” of who they really are.

When my children were little I found myself watching for these “moments”. Asking God to make me alert to their hearts and the way each one “was wired”. Since they were created by Him, I figured He would let me in on the manner in which He had fashioned them.

Some were easy to spot. Like our oldest son spending hours in front of the tape player drumming out the beats to every song and wanting me to repeat the entire tape. Or the ability of our daughter, at a very young age, to make absolute decisions and not back down from them regardless of her friend’s opinions. Our middle son, again at a very young age, had the ability to be a great friend to others and also held the strength to lead them. And last, but by no means least, was the confidence and athletic skill our youngest son exhibited before he reached school age.

Unlike these obvious traits, there were moments when we would be going about life, and one of them would mention what they thought about a particular situation. Their observations were made without having heard anything from either me or my husband, yet their assessment of the situation was completely accurate! The still, quiet voice of the Holy Spirit would whisper to me, “pay attention to their insight, and help develop this.” Consequently, I would feel the weight of “training up a child in the way he should go.” This God-given glimpse had enabled me to lock-on to an area He had destined for them and then embrace the responsibility to train them.

Not only did I learn to watch for the “seeds”, but I also learned to plant the seeds….sometimes unknowingly and other times knowingly.  Recently, my son mentioned to me a long-ago-conversation regarding the many gifts in his life and the direction he should take with them. My primary counsel was that he not become “a jack of all trades and master of none”. In the moment, I was unaware this conversation hit a deep place in him. But looking at him today, and by his own admission, it’s obvious he took this conversation seriously. What he didn’t know at the time, was an impression had been given to me in a prior time of prayer -  and my thoughts were directed to the need for him to master one of his gifts rather than achieve mediocrity in many.

I know some of you reading this blog can’t remember a time when the TV didn’t have a remote control, but I certainly can. Actually, I think my parents thought I was intended to be the remote control for their TV! When the “remote” came on the scene, my parents were older and the technology of it baffled them.  I remember my husband’s parents deciding not to program the remote to their VCR because it was too hard for them to figure out. (I’m hoping most of you remember what a VCR was.) My husband would patiently program their remote to the stations they received, only to return to their home at a later date and find the remote unused and the programing undone again.

It was during one of Don’s conversations with his parents (he was trying to explain how simple the remote really was, and they were sure it was something they could do without), that I decided I was NEVER going to NOT learn new technology. Then along came computers and digital cameras and email and….ipads……ipods……all the amazing technology we have today. And with each new piece of technology I have been DETERMINED to learn and NEVER give up!

Now, this is a great attitude to have, don’t you think? Never give up! Be determined! Learn new things! Well, unfortunately, for my oldest son, my determination has meant a great deal of his time spent in explanations, team-viewer sessions, laughter over my “dumb” mistakes and my lack of comprehension. I guess you could say, he’s become “my remote”! But, I have to say, Dan’s low-key temperament has been a great blessing when I have had to turn to him for one of my many computer or blog dilemmas.

Even with his laid back personality, I am certain my determination to keep learning in this crazy technological age, has most likely become somewhat of a headache. Want to know how I know? Just last evening I chatted with him about a problem I was having regarding my blog. His response was to send me the following email:

Hi Mom,

I’m really jazzed that you’ve been using your computer these days.

It just so happens that I put together this tech support care package for you. I picked out some videos that you can watch to learn:

Love,
Dan

I think my personal tech guy just retired and turned me over to technology! Thanks Dan! I love you anyway! Take 3 aspirin and I’ll call you in the morning!

Love, your tech-savvy mom!

Add some time with this guy……

Mix in this warm deliciousness (in our new mugs)……

Cover with a warm blanket as we watch the sunrise together……..

Ahhhh…….My favorite kind of morning! It just doesn’t get much better than this!

I just finished reading “The Beginner’s Guide to Signs, Wonders and the Supernatural“, by James Goll. Because I’m a teacher, any title using the word “Guide” captures my attention and beckons me to explore it. And my exploration has left me pleasantly surprised. The Forward, by Bill Johnson, Senior Pastor of Bethel Church, Redding, California, states he believes the book is a “miracle in that it was written in the midst of the greatest crisis of the author’s life: the loss of his wife to cancer.”

This fact alone, caused me to want to read on; for I knew the author must have great depth of character to continue a project even while his heart was breaking. Johnson says, “While many would challenge God at this point concerning His goodness, or become embittered because of such horrible personal trials, James continued to pour out on these pages what has taken him decades of faithful service to learn; that God is always good, He is accessible, and that all believers can live like Jesus. As a result, we have a textbook on living in the supernatural, all the time.”

Throughout the book, Goll establishes foundations that draw our hearts to the Word of God, and to intimate fellowship with the Holy Spirit. Central to his teaching is the Cross of Christ. While presenting Jesus’ life, death and resurrection, he writes: “If I am going to boast in something, I want to boast in the significance and power of the cross. Jesus’ cross is central to our salvation.”

Goll highlights the Holy Spirit’s function at the time of creation as that of “brooding” or “hovering” over the earth . Something, Goll believes, He is still doing in this present age! He states, “The creative life of the Spirit broods over His own people, energizing them in special ways, more diverse and numerous than we can comprehend, bringing heavenly light to earthly darkness. From the beginning, the Spirit has desired to find those through whom He could manifest Himself.”

The author’s personal insights into the supernatural realm and his obvious, deep relationship with the Holy Spirit bring a challenge to each one who will read this book with an open heart. The following excerpt states it well:

“God is ministering the supernatural gifts of the Holy Spirit to those who hunger for Him and honor Him. Give Him free reign. Ask for more of His Spirit. May He hover over you and bring His order out of your life, making it a supernatural, God-infused life.”

Many more insights and challenges await anyone seeking to know and understand how to live naturally supernatural! It’s a great read!