A Break from Information Overload

Engineering Manifesto

noreply@blogger.com (Chern Jie) — Tue, 12 Feb 2013 11:57:00 +0000

I hold these words dear to me:

We...

respect the product.
consider our responsibilities as engineers no less than those who built their systems with steel and stone.
strive to find the right solution, not the easy one.
give credit often, and rarely expect recognition.
walk in the shoes of the engineer whose code we inherited.
walk in the shoes of the engineer who will inherit our code.
shamelessly ask for help when we know that we are lacking in our knowledge.

We never...

commit code without declaring its known flaws.
assume that other people don't know how to do their job.
fool others into believing something isn't possible - just because it's tedious.
point out another's flaw, without a qualifying improvement.
leave a man drowning. An engineer trying to solve a problem has a buddy just as a boy scout does when trying to wade in deep waters.
cover our asses.

kudos to
+Ali-Akber Saifee +Johan Gozali +Timothée Groleau

Curry and Rice

noreply@blogger.com (Chern Jie) — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 11:43:00 +0000

Deliciously done, this home-made curry and rice is to die for!

Vegetarian Risotto

noreply@blogger.com (Chern Jie) — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 16:00:00 +0000

Homemade as well, by Becky in Basel, Switzerland!!

Ingredients: rice, mushrooms, peeled onions, grana padano, vegetable stock, crushed garlic, herbs

References: Tags: Risotto

Salade de gesiers

noreply@blogger.com (Chern Jie) — Thu, 06 May 2010 04:36:00 +0000

Home made!

References: Tags: gesiers

Stranded in London - Facebook scam

noreply@blogger.com (Chern Jie) — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 16:33:00 +0000

There's this Facebook chat scam that's been going around. A friend that I haven't spoken to in ages wrote to me, pretending to be stranded in London and asking for money. I found this amusing because he is from London! So I figured that he was a scammer and had fun going along with the game until the scammer got impatient and blocked me.

Enjoy!

*Friend's name has been changed to conceal his identity!

Seems like I'm not the only one. See Anthony's and Graham's posts. Also see Facebook's take on this issue.

P.S. Can anyone explain to me how does the scammer get the money from Western Union without valid Passport Identification?

Sam

Hello

How are you?

23:20Me

hey

I'm good! How've you been?

23:22Sam

not too good here

In some kind of mess

23:26Me

what's happened?

23:26Sam

I'm stranded in London,united kingdom

got mugged at gun point last night

23:29Me

where is united kingdom?

23:33Me

oh no, that's terrible!

are you alright?

23:34Sam

it sucks and scary

I was hit on the head but i am getting better

all cash, credit card and phone were stolen

23:34Me

what were you hit on the head with?

a candle stick?

23:34Sam

butt of the gun

the cops are investigating it but nothing came up yet

It was a Brutal Experience but Thank GOD i still got my life and passport saved

23:35Me

I heard in the united kingdom people get attacked by candle sticks

23:35Sam

my return flight leaves in few hours but having troubles sorting out the hotel bill

23:35Me

which part of london are you in now?

23:35Sam

I need your help!!!

Saffron Hills

I need your help!!!

23:37Me

can't you get help from the embassy?

23:38Me

is there anything i can do to help?

23:38Sam

wondering if you could loan me some few cash to sort out the hotel bills and also take a cab to the airport

i would def refund please

23:39Me

sure, where can i meet you?

so that i can give you the cash

23:39Sam

since i still have my Passport ID here,you can have the fund wired via western union to me

All you would need is my Full name and the Location you are sending the fund to

23:39Me

how much do you need?

23:39Sam

700

23:39Me

i can't spare too much

but

23:40Sam

how much can you spare?

23:40Me

700 dollars?

23:40Sam

yea

23:40Me

haha, i was thinking more like 50...

23:41Sam

how much can you spare?

23:42Me

200?

is that okay?

23:42Sam

okay

23:42Me

but i don't even know how to use western union

23:42Sam

do you have your credit with you?

23:43Me

credit card?

23:43Sam

yea..

23:43Me

yeah i have!

23:43Sam

you can wire using credit card online through western union

23:43Me

okay

can you send me the link?

and your details

23:44Sam

logon to www.westernunion.com

www.westernunion.com

23:45Me

okay

23:47Sam

This is the info needed:
Receivers Name:Sam *****
Receivers Location: London, SW15 ***
United Kingdom

okay

23:47Me

okay, just a minute

23:47Sam

23:49Sam

are you on the western union site now?

23:49Me

do i have to register?

i'm very confused

23:49Sam

yea

since you are a new sender

23:50Me

okay

23:51Me

did you manage to speak to your mom yet?

23:52Sam

yea...trying to help sort flight fees.

are through with registering now?

23:52Me

i thought your mom is still in a coma

so glad to hear she's recovered!

still doing the registering

23:53Sam

okay

23:55Me

SW15 *** << can't find the postcode

23:55Sam

not mine..

you have to fill your own info there

23:56Me

to find an agent

how's your sister's baby?

23:56Sam

are you trying to find an agent

23:56Me

yes

i'm confused

is that not what i'm supposed to do?

23:57Sam

no..

whats the time right now?

23:57Me

bedtime

what time is it there?

23:57Sam

its 4:55pm

23:58Me

are you having your high tea in london?

23:58Sam

start from the begining

you select the country you are sending from

okay

www.westernunion.com

23:58Me

yes yes

23:58Sam

have you done that

23:58Me

yes and damnit, i'm not retarded!

23:59Sam

so what page where you transferred to

23:59Me

seriously, do you think i'm a retard????????!!!??????????!!??????????!

23:59Sam

no..

23:59Me

the website is seriously difficult to use!

it's not me

Today

00:00Sam

so what page are you on now?

00:01Me

i'm on the westernunion.com page you retard

that's the page you ask me to go on right?

00:01Sam

yea..

00:01Me

the girl in the picture is really cute

looks like your sister's baby

can't wait to come visit you guys

You don't have permission to chat with this person.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

noreply@blogger.com (Chern Jie) — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 04:58:00 +0000

You Are 50% Left Brained, 50% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning.
Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.
If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic.
Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.

The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.
Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way.
If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art.
Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

Courtesy of Su Yuen

How to give a cat a pill

noreply@blogger.com (Chern Jie) — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 14:02:00 +0000

1. Pick up the cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left Arm and repeat process.
3. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
4. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws, ignore growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
5. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
6. Wrap cat in a large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with cat's head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of a drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down straw.
7. Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink a beer to take away the taste. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from the carpet with soap and water.
8. Tie the little angel's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of the dining table. Find heavy pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertical and pour 2 pints of water down cat's throat to wash down pill.
9. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the A&E, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill from your eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order a new table.
10. Arrange for RSPCA to collect the mutant cat from hell and ring local pet shop to see whether they have any hamsters.

WANTED -- Parent Position

noreply@blogger.com (Chern Jie) — Sat, 14 Jul 2007 01:45:00 +0000

PARENT - Job Description

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!

POSITION: Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities.
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

Lawyers goes to Hell

noreply@blogger.com (Chern Jie) — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 23:51:00 +0000

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer — you're in the wrong place."

So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is becoming a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake — he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

My Visit to the Prison

noreply@blogger.com (Chern Jie) — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 06:29:00 +0000

I went to visit Score Digital Media's operating office and their post production team today. They're a media company providing creative digital multimedia solutions for web, video, print and multimedia applications. I had the distinct privilege to see some of their impressive portfolio, 3D digital animations, videos etc. (sorry but I can't show you anything here)

Our host, Joshua, a very humble but also very well spoken young dude greeted the bunch of us and showed us around. They had three production rooms: Video editing room, graphics design, and the programmers room. Each production team member have a computer and dual screens.

And yes, their office are within the compound of the prison. And the entire staff team are of course prison inmates. They are dressed in white overalls with name and number printed on their shirt. These prison inmates aren't your ordinary everyday criminal, brutal nor dangerous. Most of them are either convicted for drug offenses, fraud, or just by being multimillionaire CEOs of multinational corporation. So they are not dangerous at all, they're like anybody on the street just unlucky.

Oh and yes, SDM "employs" only quality employee. Like a regular company, they're always sourcing for talented people to work for them. Their only hunting ground is of course the inmates. However, when they ( i.e. SDM officials) do see a potential good staff walking on the streets and thought they should be headhunted, they'll work on some tricks to get him in. So guys! if you're a very talented designer/programmer, watch out for people like Derrick and Brenda. You'll be headhunted (into the prison). ;)

The official who brought us in was a SDM sales person/manager/boss, called Derrick. He's a smiley guy who's working under the government. He serves as a contact point for this production team with the outside world. SDM, according to Derrick is the most relaxed security for the whole prison because inmates are allowed to have frequent visits with customers and access to the internet.

SDM have sales targets to meet, just like any company. They have very good staff turnover rate, compared to an average company in the real working world because inmates are in house. SDM have very good disciplined staff, compared to an average company which have staff which leaves as early as three months. They are also expanding their company to a larger office and recruiting more production staff. Heck, they even have a quality policy.

Simply admirable. Whoever came up with the idea of SDM has got to be a genius. Erm, I mean that's the Singapore Government for you lot...

Geek Terminal's Vision

noreply@blogger.com (Chern Jie) — Sat, 02 Jun 2007 15:15:00 +0000

If I'm not mistake, this is what Geek Terminal was talking about: The Minority Report type technology! Preview it here haha.

See how they just move their fingers and the images resizes accordingly? And see how they synchronize with other wireless devices, it's just a drag and drop with their fingers!

One flaw about infrared sensors is that, if there's something blocking the sensors such as your head/hair, other hand or such, it'll not be able to detect.

Read more about it here.

UPDATE: APPLE fights back!

Jonathan Coulton - Code Monkey

noreply@blogger.com (Chern Jie) — Sat, 02 Jun 2007 13:59:00 +0000

Absolutely love this song at the moment, courtesy of Jonathan Coulton. It'll be a matter of time until I get bored of it. Hope you guys enjoy it, thanks Steph for the lyrics.

--

Code Monkey get up, get coffee.
Code Monkey go to job.
Code Monkey have boring meeting
with boring manager Rob.

Rob say Code Monkey very diligent
but his output stink.
His code not functional or elegant
what do Code Monkey think?

Code Monkey think maybe manager wanna write god damn login page himself.
Code Monkey not say it out loud.
Code Monkey not crazy, just proud.

Code Monkey like Beetles.
Code Monkey like tab and mountain dew.
Code Monkey very simple man.
with big warm fuzzy secret heart.
Code Monkey like you.
Code Monkey like you.

--

Code Monkey hang around at front desk.
tell you "sweater look nice".
Code Monkey offer buy you soda.
Bring you cup, bring you ice.

You say no thank you for the soda cause,
soda make you fat.
Anyway, you busy with the telephone
no time for chat.

Code Monkey have long walk back to cubical, he sit down pretend to work.
Code Monkey not thinking so straight.
Code Monkey not feeling so great.

Code Monkey like Beetles.
Code Monkey like tab and mountain dew.
Code Monkey very simple man.
Big warm fuzzy secret heart.
Code Monkey like you.
Code Monkey like you... a lot

--

Code Monkey have every reason
to get out this place.
Code Monkey just keep on working
to see your soft, pretty face.

Much rather wake up eat a coffee cake
take bath, take nap.
"This job full filling in creative way."
Such a load of crap

Code Monkey think some day he have everything, even pretty girl like you.
Code Monkey just waiting for now.
Code Monkey says "someday, somehow."

Code Monkey like Beetles.
Code Monkey like tab and mountain dew.
Code Monkey very simple man.
big warm fuzzy secret heart.
Code Monkey like you.
Code Monkey like you...

The Cost of Politicians' Brains

noreply@blogger.com (Chern Jie) — Thu, 31 May 2007 13:43:00 +0000

A cannibal entered the meat market to buy something nice for dinner. The owner greeted him and told him to look around. The cannibal began to inspect the meat case and noticed the market specialized in brain.

Upon further inspection he noticed a marked disparity between the costs of brain meats. A carpenter's brain sells for $1.50 per pound. A plumber's brain sells for $2.25 per pound. He noticed with alarm that a politician's brain sells for $375.00 a pound. With not a little curiosity he asked the owner why the huge difference in price between the similar meats.

The owner responded with a deadpan look on his face, "Do you realize how many politicians it takes to get a pound of brains?"

Going to Prison

noreply@blogger.com (Chern Jie) — Tue, 29 May 2007 12:00:00 +0000

I've got plenty of blogging chores to do, in which I suspect I'll never be able to get round to doing it at all:

BlogOut;
Village Talks;
Hospitality Club gathering ;
The Digital Movement;
Geek Terminal;
Hitchoo.com;

and yes this Saturday I'm going to prison!!! w00t! The trouble is just a matter of finding the place. See, I've never been to prison.

BlogOut Photo slideshow

noreply@blogger.com (Chern Jie) — Fri, 25 May 2007 00:21:00 +0000

Here's a few stuff that you guys may find interesting:

1) BlogOut Attendee's profile list - surf through it to who was there and to see your own profile.
2) BlogOut blogroll - the one you see on the screen during BlogOut.
3) a photo slideshow from Flickr, all with tags "blogout2007"

Beer Tolerance

noreply@blogger.com (Chern Jie) — Wed, 09 May 2007 00:53:00 +0000

I'm damn proud of my beer tolerance, I can drink and drink and still be very sober. There's a popular saying from my friends that I can drink six full pints of beer and still be able to walk backwards in a straight line.

Then came Singapore, I hardly went out drinking ever. And a very significant discovery is that my beer tolerance dropped like mad. Having just half a pint and I'm feeling dizzy and high already.

My male ego is very hurt ... sob sob ... Gotta train up that drinking power again!

Love (SARS) is in the Air

noreply@blogger.com (Chern Jie) — Thu, 03 May 2007 01:23:00 +0000

No, don't worry it's not really SARS. It's just the Sore-throat And Running-nose Season.

Everyone I know is coughing and sniffing. *cough! Cough!* *sniff* Be it at work, at home, on MRT. It's just gross especially during peak hour in the packed MRT. Everybody gets a piece of love.

So people, please take good care of your own body, i.e.
- drink lots of water,
- eat fruits rich in Vitamin C
- Pei Pa Koa will help stop the coughing (maybe, if you drink the whole bottle you'll stop breathing too)
- rest at home (tell your boss he should rest too)

Stop spreading the love, it's no good for humanity (of tiny-island Singapore, the rest of the world is non-existance).

Happy belated-Labour day!

Europeans Joke: English, Italian, German, French and Swiss

noreply@blogger.com (Chern Jie) — Sun, 29 Apr 2007 14:49:00 +0000

To those who understands the Europeans:

Heaven is a place where the police are English; the chefs are Italian; the car mechanics are German; the lovers are French and it's all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is a place where the police are German; the chefs are English; the car mechanics are French; the lovers are Swiss and it's all organized by the Italians.

Adelaide, Koalas, Kangaroo and ...

noreply@blogger.com (Chern Jie) — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 05:40:00 +0000

Watch out for the Koalas!!!

These are the pictures of my Adelaide Trip.

See the full album here:
picasaweb.google.com/chernjie/070417Adelaide

Nexus Badge

noreply@blogger.com (Chern Jie) — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 15:46:00 +0000

Dustin is selling his SxSW badge for money. Can we sell Nexus Badge too?

UPS system

noreply@blogger.com (Chern Jie) — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 05:39:00 +0000

Just installed a UPS system for my computer, not that I needed it but I'm the only one at work with it. Hahaha.

I got the APC (American Power Conversion), Back-UPS C S 500. Meaning its capacity is 500VA, capable of running a desktop PC, a 17" LCD screen and 19" LCD screen simultaneously, and that's only 60% of it's power capacity.

A UPS system acts somewhat like a battery but it can only last for about 15 minutes. It's works in such a way that in case of power failures, the computer will automatically shut down nicely. Just like how a laptop battery operates.

The Accuracy of Touchprobe Measuring Devices

noreply@blogger.com (Chern Jie) — Mon, 19 Mar 2007 05:09:00 +0000

especially for portable ones, is pretty unreliable. There are many factors affecting it's accuracy, such as environment, machine error as well as operator's error. The contributing factor towards the inaccuracy of the Portable Coordinate Measuring Machine from Operator's especially is huge.

So if you have money, get one and put it in your company's showroom. Don't bother using it. It's a waste of time.

Stupid Twitter

noreply@blogger.com (Chern Jie) — Sun, 18 Mar 2007 14:24:00 +0000

So Nexus is going to be next week and we're all busy getting things ready and up and ready and up. I sure do hope it's over soon.

Anyway, orders just came in that I'm supposed to think of a way to get Twitter.com into the conference. In the Live Blogging or New Media segment.

Twitter.com??? What the heck is that? I have no idea. Reading around, it's some SMS blogging thing that's becoming pretty popular. At least that's what Ming Yeow says. I don't believe, as usual.

But it's true! It's so true that a few reputable bloggers that I frequent have just posted about it this very week! Damn, that Ming Yeow sure is good at catching trends before anybody even notice.

Okay, got to get back in analysing Twitter. Till now it's just another waste-of-time, useless, online-social-networking, service to me. Oh, and waste of money.

Terribly Dusty with Dustbuster

noreply@blogger.com (Chern Jie) — Sun, 18 Mar 2007 14:05:00 +0000

My room is terribly dusty, for some unknown reason. Everywhere I put my hand, it'll be full of dust and dirt. No matter how much I clean, it gets dirty again in a flash.

I even got myself a portable vacuum cleaner - dustbuster, speaking of Posh-ness. It doesn't help much either. Sigh ...

Is it me? or is Singapore really so dusty?

Nexus 2007 Button

noreply@blogger.com (Chern Jie) — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 01:47:00 +0000

Penny did a very cool looking button for Nexus. We both agree that it should have the "Glass" effect to accomodate the Web 2.0 feel, however after further consideration, we go ... nah!

Here's the code, just copy and paste it into your blog:

<a href="http://www.nexus2007.com/"><img src="http://www.nexus2007.com/button.png" alt="Nexus 2007 - Leading in times of disruptive change" border="0" /></a>

It'll be very much appreciated.