Having been born and raised in America during the latter part of the 20th Century, I was raised with the belief that I could do or be anything I wanted so long as I put my mind to the task and worked really, really hard.  The manifesto of limitless possibilities and grandiose dreams was a cultural 180 from what my parents grew up with in post WWII Taiwan.  Instead of Nike commercials telling us to “Just Do It”, my parents were raised with the “Don’t Do It” mentality that’s common among East Asian societies.  I remember numerous moments in my childhood when my parents would say something along the lines of, “You don’t know how lucky you are to be in America.  When I was a little boy/girl my parents…” The conversation usually continued with my parents sharing harrowing stories about beatings involving sticks, paper back books, belts and backscratchers for not excelling in every subject.  My parents would tell me, with a hint of envy, how lucky I am to have been born in America, the mecca of opportunity.

I am very glad that I was born in America sheltered from the horrors of pre-modern Confucian society.  I am grateful that, if I so choose, I can make a living picking garbage or selling my personally designed collages online.  And yes, I love the enthusiasm that fuels the American manifesto “follow your bliss.”  These are all great reasons to want to live and grow up in America.

But I wonder, is all this “choice and freedom” a good thing for everyone?

From our very first breath of life, opportunities start coming our way.  Some toddlers exhibit exceptional motor skills and their parents wisely shuffle them into a variety of sports programs or, better yet, stick a club or tennis racket in their hands.  In time exceptional talent bolstered by exceptional effort pay big dividends.  Look at the Williams sisters or Tiger Woods or any pro athlete; the story is usually the same, they start playing golf, tennis, basketball, etc. while still in diapers and by the time they hit twenty, they’re pros.  If a child shows an early precociousness that leads them to devour books like candy corn, they are ushered into gifted schools and classes.  You notice your baby wiggles his or her finger when listening to Mozart.  Well piano it is! Kids who show talent early on seem to have an easier time figuring out what to do with their lives.  It’s a combination of talent, hard work, ignorance of other opportunities and loving nudges from their parents.

Discovering Talents

But if you’re like most people in the world, you probably went through your younger years wondering whether you were even decent at anything, let alone talented at one thing.  Perhaps you’re still wondering if you have the goods to make something of yourself.  Malcolm Gladwell, author of  The Tipping Point and staff writer for The New Yorker, wrote an interesting article comparing late bloomers, people who don’t achieve notable success until late in their lives, and prodigies.  Check it out here.

Unfortunately, we’re not all Picassos, Mozart or Tiger Woods.  Some people take time to develop their talent; some people never find it; and others who have, don’t spend enough time to master them.

Dabbling - The Talent Killer

For people eager to discover their talent, dabbling is expected.  It makes sense to test the waters and see what you might be good at.  As a teacher and mentor, I always try to encourage my students to try anything and everything out.  The old adage, you never know until you try, holds a lot of weight because it’s straight up common sense.  Dabbling is a short term solution to a long term problem.  It should help you figure out what you are good at and enjoy doing.  The problem with dabbling is that it can go on indefinitely;  rather than focusing your energies on one or two areas, you spread it out over a wide range of activities, honing a number of talents rather than one or two.  This is what happens when you tend to be good at a couple of things or, at least, you think you are talented in a number of different areas.   People with either mindset may end up in a life long cycle of dabbling.

Dabbling + Long Term –> Lost Potential

I’m a big believer in career changing and finding work that one can excel in, be challenged by and enjoy.  Figuring this out may take time, but it shouldn’t take your entire life.  I generally find that trying something for three to six months is usually enough time to answer two important questions:

1. Do I enjoy what I am doing? Can I be good at this?
2. Am I good at what I am doing?

If you don’t think you can answer these questions after six months, then you’re either not truly asking yourself these questions or you’re afraid of the truth.  Some people have dreams of winning the Olympics or writing a best selling novel, but the reality is not everyone has the talent to do the things they dream about.  Be honest with yourself, assess your abilities and potential or ask someone you trust and is talented in your area of interest to do that for you.  Dabbling is a fine strategy in the short term, but since you can’t do everything, eventually you just gotta pick something and stick with it.

Closing Doors

For the consummate dabbler or jack of all trades type, it may become difficult to hunker down and focus your energies on one thing.  It takes discipline, commitment and a lot of door slamming.  Attractive opportunities will come your way and you will have to decide whether those opportunities are worth pursuing or not.

I’ve always considered myself capable, perhaps even talented, in a number of different areas.  I’m pretty good with numbers, designing and conceptualizing, writing and speaking.  When I started job searching, I interviewed for jobs all over the spectrum from consulting and wealth management to teaching and recruiting.  I’ve worked in marketing, international education, foreign language translation and interpreting, journalism, labor organizing, and film making.  Most of the jobs I felt I could be good at, but I didn’t enjoy.  I opened tons of doors, but I closed many as well.

Sticking With It and Taking Off
It wasn’t until I started traveling during my last two years in college that I discovered my love for writing.   I blogged about my travels in China, about the people I met and the conversations I had.  It was a surprisingly enjoyable and challenging endeavor.  People told me they enjoyed reading my reflections on life in China and wanted to read more.  I didn’t mind taking time out of my day to write an entry or two and the attention certainly didn’t hurt.  By the time I finished college I realized that whatever career path I chose in life, writing had to be part of the job.

It took me a lot of searching and dabbling but eventually I figured it out.  There are days when I wonder whether or not I should have continued studying engineering and followed the path that many of my classmates followed.  But I shut those feelings off and refocus my energy on writing.  I could probably have focused on another skill, but I’ve chosen writing so I need to stick with it.

Once you figure out what you enjoy and are good at, it’s time to take off.  There will be opportunities that may appear enticing and conjure up fond memories of old dreams.  Resist them.  Dabbling and jumping from one thing to another won’t lead to mastery in anything.  If monetary success is one of your main goals in life, you’re going to need to master a skill.  If you don’t believe me, read any biography of any wealthy individual.  Whether sports phenom, marketing guru or world class chef, all require mastery of a skill, usually one but sometimes two or three.

Remember you can’t do everything, so pick something you’re good at and stick with it!

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The average life span of an American male is around 74 years and for a female, it’s 79. According to a German survey conducted in 2005, the average person living approximately 79 years spends one third of their life or approximately 26 years sleeping, 6 months on the toilet, 2 years going to school, 7 years working, 5 years doing housework, 5 years eating and drinking and 5-10 years on the TV and Computer. Unbelievable huh? If you feel the need to get up out of your chair and bolt out of the room to go and do something, I won’t hold it against you. Life really is too short.

Or is it? Perhaps what’s keeping you in your chair isn’t the realization that life is too short, but rather the tougher question of, what should I do with my short time? A lot of people that I ask this question to say they don’t know. My belief is that most of us already know what it is that they should be doing, usually it’s that thing that you spend most of your time wishing or dreaming about, perhaps writing or talking about with your friends. It may not be fully formed yet, but there’s an inkling of what it is. The problem isn’t a problem of knowing, but a problem of doing.

Why don’t we do the things we know we should do

Reason #1: Fear

Reason #2: Fear

Reason #3: Fear

Notice a pattern? Yep it’s all fear… fear of rejection, disappointment, uncertainty, inability…

I spent two years in college and four years of my high school career thinking I’d be an engineer or scientist. I somehow convinced myself that I wanted to be an inventor, an engineer, a rocket scientist, something that used all the math and science that I thought I enjoyed. My fear was so powerful that it convinced me of a false truth. I had dreams of winning the noble prize (I kid you not) in subject areas that I now realize I have absolutely no interest in. I was so afraid of being financially insecure and having my father disown me, which he did anyway for a short time, that I resigned myself to a fate that, in a perfect world, I would have written jokes about.

So being the wise soon to be 24 year old that I am. My strategy against fear is made up of two letters: d-o. Living life like there ain’t no tomorrow is all about doing. It’s about blasting through the internalized fears and taking a leap of faith towards a direction that suits our personalities, interests and desires.

If that means asking that special someone out who you’re too afraid of being rejected by, do it. Maybe it means making up with some old friend or family member over something stupid that happened long ago but that you can’t seem to get over. Or perhaps it’s finally doing the thing you always wanted to do as a kid, but never thought possible. Jump out of an airplane with a parachute? Sure why not? Get in touch with your inner kid and take a Ferris Buler Day Off. Whatever it is, follow Nike’s advice and Just Do It. If you’re looking for a New Years Resolution to commit to, try this one.

If you’re like me and are prone to think yourself into inaction, my advice is, don’t think, just do. Fear is, by definition irrational. It is an emotional response or stimulus to a situation that is perceived to be potentially dangerous. We don’t overcome our fears by thinking, but by facing them head on and taking no prisoners.

For me Just Doing It involved letting go of an interesting job as a reporter and other potentially lucrative job opportunities to sit at home and write screenplays. It’s not glamorous, I assure you, but it’s a step towards my dream of making movies. I spent two years thinking about it, dabbling in it, and then finally I got tired of just talking about it that I decided to do something drastic. Not every step needs to be drastic, but it does need to provide a tangible change of direction towards your intended course. The most important thing is making a committed and concerted step forward.

If you think about how much time we spend doing the everyday tasks of eating, drinking and sleeping, life is a lot shorter than it seems. Why spend it dreaming and wishing when you can be doing instead?

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Title of the Speech: Better Than You Think
Enjoy!

Mr. Toastmaster, Fellow Toastmasters and most welcome guests. Have you ever woken up and wished there was a reset button, or a giant bottle of white out that you could pour out over all the dirty, messy gunk in your life?

Well it happened to me not too long ago, a few years back during the latter half of my high school career. I was in the thick of things: my mother was laid off; my father, who had been out of work since I began high school, was diagnosed with prostate cancer; and my sister, still a freshman in high school, looked like E.T.’s sister, with her right eye floating where her forehead should have been because of a tumor in her face the size of my fist. And if that wasn’t bad enough, I got rejected by a girl I liked who confessed, “I’m not into smart guys.”

I was crippled by every bit of insecurity a boy of seventeen could have. And though I walked around with a veneer of hope and optimism, I was raw and hurt on the inside, a glass pane ready to shatter.

Things didn’t change immediately, but they did improve as I met more people, heard more stories. During my freshman year in college, I met Douglas, a man who taught ex-convicts and parolees marketable skills so they could find decent paying jobs that would keep them off the streets. When I asked Douglas why he was doing the work he was doing, he said, “Because I was there once, I remember what it was like.” Douglas, at the ripe age of fourteen, was among the wealthiest and most successful drug dealers in his neighborhood. He had the women, the cars and more money than his fourteen year old mind could dream of spending. At one point Douglas had seven Mercedes Benzes lined up outside his half million dollar home. Douglas was living the high life. He smiled as he retold the story, his big lips widening as he spoke, “Until I got hit.”

“Hit?” I asked.
“Three times, here, here and here.” He pointed to three points on his face. “In a drive by shooting.”

The fact that Douglas survived was a miracle. To this day, one bullet is still lodged in his skull, too risky to extract, a reminder of the life he used to live. What’s even more remarkable is the fact that Douglas found the courage to turn his life around. He refused to believe that his life was a waste. The second act had just begun and he was ready to change people’s lives. He could have died there, but for Douglas that wasn’t good enough, he knew there was something better on its way. I remember trembling as I recorded his confident, firm voice, in awe of a man with such immutable confidence.

He smiled at me, “Yea it was hard. I found something to hope in; that’s what got me through.”

Though Douglas’ story is a bit extreme, it bears an important truth worth sharing: even when the chips are down, and everything looks as bleak and black as a heap of coals, there’s always a brighter side. Things are always better than we think.

When I flashback to my high school years, I have this overwhelming urge to smile at the silliness of it all. I was depressed by a pretty girl who didn’t like smart guys. Ha! And yet for my myopic, seventeen year old self, that was everything, the whole world encapsulated in a long hair, bright eyed girl with a to-die-for smile. And what’s ironic is that, for all my self-centered childishness, I have no one to blame but myself because, in the end, it was my choice. I chose to believe that life sucked, and for a long while, it did.

Optimism and pessimism are two sides of the same coin. Both are leaps of faith. There’s no proof that something will turn out better or worse than we think. In the end we choose one and live out its consequences.

It has been shown in numerous studies that optimism leads to longer life and better health. In a recent study Dr. Rotin Peled found that optimists or women who identified themselves as happy people were 25% less likely to develop breast cancer. So if for nothing else, choose optimism, because, chances are, you’ll be happier and healthier.

But you may say, “Kevin that sounds nice and all, but it’s a lot easier said than done.”

And I’d reply, “Yes, you’re absolutely right, but it’s still worth a shot.”

Yes, we live in a messed up world, a discombobulated, bizarre universe where people with good jobs, beautiful homes and well fed stomachs kill themselves, while half way around the world people starve to death. There’s enough misery and destitution to turn the world into Scrooge-land five times over. But there’s also reason to hope. Amidst the doom and gloom there’s reason to believe things will get better.

Because the truth is: things are always better than we think. Believe it. How many times have you thought that your life was over, only to realize in retrospect, that things were better than we thought? Whether it’s a man like Douglas who went from drug dealing to mentoring drug dealers, or a dedicated teacher who spends a few extra hours tutoring struggling students, or the passerby who willingly parts with his hard earned wages to feed a hungry, tired soul— there’s hope to be found. It’s all around us, even in the grittiest, darkest places. A wise woman once told me, “Kevin, all those bad things will pass and in time, things always get better, but only if we choose to believe it.”

And that’s the key my friends: choice. We can choose to believe things will continue to plunge into a deep, dark and bottomless pit of despair, or we can believe that there are angels waiting around the corner to hark with trumpets blazing, ready to welcome us with songs of joy. Either way, it’s our choice.

Sure it’s not easy. Sometimes we just want to mope in our own misery. I know, I’ve been there, more times than I’d care to admit. But if there’s one thing that life has taught me, it’s that life is like a giant game of dominoes. Everything’s connected. What we choose today will impact the choices of others from now and forever. So if you don’t care about health, about long life, then at least believe in this:

Good begets good. Hope engenders more hope. Douglas’ triumph was not only his triumph, but the triumph of hundreds more like him. His story is one that will continue to touch and inspire others, people who he’ll never meet in his lifetime. Hope is a seed that travels far and wide, looking for someone to breathe new life into. Our hope today lays the foundations for the hope of tomorrow.

Five years later, with a bit more wisdom on my young shoulders, I can say with confidence that high school turned out better than I thought. Despite the bad hair days, the crazy girls and the pressures of getting into college, I was surrounded by many blessings. I had many loving, caring and inspiring teachers who believed in me, friends who stayed with me, no matter how many times I seemed to fail them. My father’s cancer was controlled, my mother found a job and my sister had her tumor extracted with no complications. And that girl I liked? Well I think she still doesn’t like smart guys, but I got over it.

And so I leave you all tonight with one important question: which do you believe? Is this glass half full or half empty? Remember, the choice is yours.

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A memorable line from the very entertaining movie Top Gun. But my reference here has nothing to do with flying fighter jets or racing in general. When I say the need for speed, I’m referring to the need for everything in life to be fast and immediate.

There’s Not Enough Time

Recently I’ve been reading A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle, a bestselling author and spiritual teacher. You can check out his website here . The book is about the need to let go of the ego and become aware of our Being (aka Presence) that comes before the ego and without which the ego could not exist. He likens this to achieving a greater awareness from unconscious living, i.e. simply reacting, to conscious living, i.e. being.

One of the recurring themes in the book is the nonexistence of time. Time is a form, as Tolle calls it, which the ego feeds on. Time does not have an objective existence, rather our thinking mind creates the concept of time in order to nourish our ego. For example, we create the past to give our ego a sense of identity or who we are; we also create the future in order to have a sense of who we may become, a future identity. Tolle argues that there is no time outside the present Now. It’s a concept that I’ve encountered in the Bible and other spiritual teachings and although living in the Now sounds great, it’s very difficult to practice. Society thrives on the movement and passage of time; our dreams and hopes wouldn’t exist without it.

But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t strive to live in the Now, it just means, realistically, it will take some time.

Most of my crises in life have been time crises. In college, I started feeling this gnawing restlessness; it felt as if there was not enough time to do all the things that I wanted to do and accomplish. In an effort to make up for “lost time,” I tried to do things faster. I became addicted to learning multi-tasking strategies, time management skills and other time saving tricks. And yet the problem is still there; time is still ticking away, chewing at my insides.

The Need For Speed is NOT Healthy

The need for speed, or the need to do things as fast as possible, is a disease of the modern mind. Wanting to do everything faster and more efficiently has gotten out of control in the modern capitalist economy. You don’t need to look far into the number of new cases of heart disease, alcoholism and suicide, to understand that this need for greater efficiency points to a serious defect in the human psyche. Thousands of years ago, people didn’t live their lives with their eyes perpetually on the clock. But today, you’d be hard pressed not to. For many, sleeping with one’s Blackberry is as normal as sleeping with one’s spouse.

Great Things Take Time

Realizing and fully accepting this truth is one of the greatest challenges young people face today, me included. I wish I could have it all right now. I wish I could have all my dreams and aspirations fulfilled at the flip of a switch or at the snap of my fingers. The concept of five years, ten years and twenty years is incomprehensible. I want it now. Even if I say I’m willing to wait, the reality is, I’m not. At least not the way I’m conditioned now.

Although we may understand in our heads that great things take time, our bodies, nourished on the immediate gratification and stimulation of on-demand culture, reject this truth.

Moving from Immediacy to Patience

Patience is a virtue that most people wish they had. I don’t know how many times I’ve been told by my parents, “You lack patience,” or “You ought to be more patient.” I don’t disagree. I want to develop patience and I know I need more of it, but the problem is, people rarely tell you how to get some.

Going back to Tolle’s concept of time feeding the ego, it seems that impatience, or the need for things to happen quickly, is directly connected to our ego. I want to be successful now because I desire the fruits of success: fame, power, wealth etc. These are things that the ego desires. If we can limit the activity of our ego then we can decrease our need for speed and develop patience.

Understanding the problem is the first step, tackling it is another beast altogether. We’ll save that for another post.

Speedy Success Can Lead to Imbalance

Achieving success has always been a time sensitive issue for me. I grew up with a father who had great ambitions as an inventor, but never seemed to be able to follow through on them. He’s now in his early sixties and though his ambitions have not waned, his vitality has. Having observed my father throughout his struggles, I decided very early on that I did not want to be old and unsuccessful, so I became obsessed with achieving things early on in life. And while this obsession has resulted in me pushing myself towards greater productivity and efficiency in many areas of my life, it has also left me, at times, in a state of unhealthy imbalance.

Many of my darker moments, feelings of isolation, loneliness and exhaustion have been the result of working and pushing myself too hard. It’s good to have goals, but if we push too hard for them it’ll make us crazy.

In addition to the risk of imbalance, when we try to speed things up the quality of the final result diminishes. This applies to anything from baking a cake to writing an article. As a kid, I had this bad habit of fast forwarding through my VHS movies to get to the climactic ending, skipping all the “boring stuff.” Not only was this bad for the tape, but it ended up making the ending less enjoyable, since without buildup, there’s no suspense leading into the climax.

The same applies to life. When we try to speed up the process of getting what we want, we run the risk of missing our goals or making their achievement less enjoyable. Our focus should not rest solely on the end goal, but on the journey as well.

Although no one wants to be the tortoise, we all know who wins in the end. The hare may be cool with his fast moves and lightning speed, but his emphasis on speed comes at the expense of direction. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be slow and directed than fast and lost.

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Being a young 20 something, I’m always on the look out for new opportunities and occasionally I’ll scan job postings to see what’s out there. So far, I’ve yet to see a job posting that has failed to list “good communication skills” as one of the job requirements.

If most job postings require good communicators, it’s no wonder why everyone thinks they are good communicators. If you got the job, you must be a good communicator right?

Well… not quite.

First off, most job posts I’ve seen make sure to emphasize the requirement of good written and verbal communication skills. While both are extremely important, they are by no means the only means of communication. There’s also body language and one of its subsets: facial expressions.

In my own experience, it seems that successful people, especially those that are considered “good communicators” are usually good at speaking with their body and most particularly with their faces. I’ve heard of smiling described as a person’s most lethal weapon. Though it may sound silly, I don’t think the assessment is very far off.

In my current job as a reporter, I’ve met a whole range of people, from technicians, educators, diplomats, entertainers etc. The people that I’ve felt good about have generally been people that I’ve respected.

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Shopping during the holiday season is second nature for many.  Cost conscious buyers line up in front of their chosen stores on Thanksgiving Day to wait in line and get the best deals retailers have to offer.  Get what you want and save money while doing it, what could be better?  Personally, I’ve never waited on a line for those outrageous deals retailers offer around this time of year, but I’m sure it’s enticing enough for some.  It’s easier not to think about those things right now since I don’t have excess cash to spend anyways.

My philosophy on spending is simple: I buy needs from what I have and wants from excess.  Needs for me are food, shelter and basic clothing.  Everything else falls into the wants category.  Items like a new computer, DVD, book, electronic gadget etc. are all things that I’d like to have but don’t necessarily need. Categorizing things makes it easier to curb how I spend my money.  If I tell myself that I’m not going to spend any money on wants then it makes it harder for me to buy even something small like a DVD or a book.  Breaking a principle on a small item yields the same guilty feeling as it does with a larger item.

Buying excess means buying from the extra cash or savings you have after you’ve paid your credit card bills, loan payments, rent and after putting away money for savings.  Ideally buying from excess means that you would spend on wants only after you’ve paid off all existing debts and have set up a small savings and investment fund, but sometimes you really want to buy something and waiting for ten years to pay off your college debt is too dismal to think about.

Most of the finance tips I’ve read in books and personal finance blogs stress spending less and saving more, which is the most universally sound advice for anyone trying to pay down debt and ensure their future financial security; there’s also the other option of making more money, but that I will save for another post.  For now the challenge is to save money by spending less.

The hardest challenge, especially for young people, when it comes to spending money is that it is socially motivated.  We buy because we want to impress our friends, significant others, random people on the street, and mostly, ourselves.  If no one (including you) cared whether or not you had a new pair of shoes or jeans, would you really buy it?  Probably not.  There would be no reason.  But the reality is, people do care, and probably you more than anyone else.

If buying and spending are socially motivated, then the solution would be to remove the social motivation from them.  But that’s also not a realistic solution.  It’s not realistic for most people to suddenly realize that having new clothes isn’t that important, just as it is unrealistic to expect a twenty year old male to not to care about driving a cool looking car.  He may not have the money to buy a cool looking car, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want it.  The key isn’t to eliminate the desire, but to curb it.  The best way I’ve found to curb wants is by motivating purchases with the principle: buy wants only from excess.

If you’re a recent college graduate or someone who has a hefty amount of debt piled up, then the most feasible solution would be to set aside a small amount of money every month for “wants.”  Depending on your level of debt and monthly income, this could be anywhere from $5 a month to $100.  Anything over that and you’re probably spending too much and would be better off putting more cash into paying off your debt.

Putting away $50 a month will give you approximately $600 of spending money in a year.  You can then put this money towards a bigger ticket purchase, like a computer or Ipod, or a few smaller purchases.  If you purchase at a heavily discounted time such as Black Friday you’ll be able to make your dollar stretch even further.

The most important thing to remember is to never spend more than you’ve saved up for “wants” purchases.  Because once you go over it’s a slippery slope to consumer debt.

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I noticed that I was having trouble working in my house for long periods of time. At first, I didn’t think about the fact that being an extrovert made it harder for me to write in solitude for extended periods of time. But the longer I worked at home, the more I began to realize that what I needed was to get out and be around people. I concluded that the film maker I met was probably an introvert. My first reaction to this realization was annoyance. I felt annoyed at the fact that an introvert had a definite advantage over something that I, an extrovert, wanted to do.

This annoyance motivated me to do some online research, which led me to examine personality types more closely. Being a big proponent of the Myers Briggs Type Indicator Test MBTI , I decided to examine extroverted and introverted tendencies to see which personality type has a greater advantage when it comes to creative work. My conclusion has led me to believe that, unfortunately, introverts, in general, have the advantage when it comes to creative and intellectual pursuits. I will explore four advantages that introverts have over extroverts when it comes to producing creative work.

In case you aren’t familiar with the Introversion/Extroversion distinction, here’s a basic definition taken from Wikipedia: People with a preference for Extraversion draw energy from action: they tend to act, then reflect, then act further. If they are inactive, their level of energy and motivation tends to decline. Conversely, those whose preference is Introversion become less energized as they act: they prefer to reflect, then act, then reflect again. People with Introversion preferences need time out to reflect in order to rebuild energy. The Introvert’s flow is directed inward toward concepts and ideas and the Extravert’s is directed outward towards people and objects. There are several contrasting characteristics between Extraverts and Introverts: Extraverts desire breadth and are action-oriented, while introverts seek depth and are thought-oriented.

1. Introverts Thrive in Solitude -

As a moderate extrovert, I often find myself in need of external stimulus to help me work productively. I usually can’t write for long periods of time in an isolated environment. To remedy this, I travel to my local bookstore or cafe to write. While needing external stimulus may not seem like a disadvantage, in any creative endeavor such as writing, painting, drawing, composing etc., where one needs to be able to focus and work in solitude for long stretches of time, it can be a limiting factor.

Solitude is the ideal place for an introvert. It is a place of strength and well spring for creative energy. For an extrovert, solitude is enervating. Too much solitude can sap an extrovert of their creative juices. When it comes to most types of writing, especially creative writing, the introvert has the advantage because they can not only endure, but actually enjoy the time spent alone writing.

2. Introverts Excel at Focus

Because introverts draw their energy from within, they are better equipped to focus on creative work for longer periods of time. Extroverts, on the other hand, need to refuel their batteries by engaging in social activities. These activities are time consuming and distracting and without the proper discipline, an extrovert could easily detract from their creative work. Thus if we were to compare the productive capacity between an introvert and extrovert over a set period of time, I would wager that the introvert would produce more high quality creative work than the extrovert. In creative writing this would amount to a greater page count and quality of prose.

3. Introverts Think Deeply

Since introverts tend to think and reflect before taking action, it is natural that their thoughts are more developed than the typical extrovert. Extroverts tend to speak first and think later, which leads to more superficial statements and thoughts. Exceptional creative work is almost always the work of deep thought and reflection. The works of noted artists or thinkers such as, Pablo Picasso, Monet, Mozart, Hemingway, or Einstein are products of great reflection and thought. This is why they can move us deeply, challenge paradigms and invite us to look within. A piece of work that evokes reflection can only be the result of deep reflection.

4. Introverts Stand Alone

Introverts, unlike extroverts, have the tendency to see themselves as apart from the greater whole. This does not necessarily mean that introverts are social recluses or hermits, rather it means that introverts are comfortable identifying themselves as individuals and not necessarily as tied to some greater entity. Introverts are more inclined to make bolder statements and take stances that would set them apart from the norm. Extroverts, on the whole, would not because society is where they thrive. The ability to stand alone is invaluable to any creative endeavor because it allows one to forgo the norm and pursue something novel and unprecedented. The avant garde is not an extroverted movement.

While extroverts have a clear advantage in careers that revolve around social settings such as business and politics, introverts take the cake when it comes to artistic endeavors. Being an extroverted artist, I’ve come to realize that my process of creation looks a bit different than introverted artists. I need to supply myself with external stimuli as much as I need to provide enough social interaction to keep my batteries flowing.

All this talk of advantages and disadvantages can be a bit discouraging. But fortunately, extroversion and introversion aren’t black and white; people tend to fall within a spectrum and exhibit both qualities to varying degrees. While my dominant function may be extroversion, I have, through practice, developed the ability to exhibit introverted qualities as well. Through practice, I’m now able to sit in a room and write for a couple of hours without losing my wits and sanity.

The bottom line?

Introverts and extroverts have different advantages and disadvantages when it comes to creative work. While introverts may have the advantage in more solitary creative pursuits, such as fine arts and writing, extroverts may have it easier in more socially focused creative work such as acting and performance. However, what you’ll find is that across the spectrum of artists there are introverts and extroverts in every field. I think I read somewhere that Mark Twain has the same MBTI (ENFP) as I do. That was comforting.

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I first started budgeting my expenses and income in college when I was working part time as a career counselor and research assistant in addition to my school work and extra curricular activities.  Budgeting was a means for me to keep track of my income and expenses, helping me to avoid overspending and credit card debt.  Credit card debit is a young person’s worst financial nightmare (it also happens to be one reason why financial institutions are failing, but that’s another story for another time).  I wrote about my experience with credit card debt and the process I went through to eliminate my debt and develop a solid financial plan for my future.  You can read it here.  

My initial attempt at budgeting was an utter failure because I tried to budget everything, food, drinks, transportation, cost of books, pencils etc.  While I think this is generally a good practice for people who are list oriented (you know who you are) it simply didn’t work for long.  Eventually I got tired of logging everything down in my excel spreadsheet.

A typical day would look like:
Coffee - $2.00
Lunch - $8.00
Metro fare - $4.00
Dinner - $12.00
Books for School - $25.00
Entertainment (Movie) - $10.00

Now that doesn’t seem so bad, and it really isn’t.  But imagine doing that every day for a year.  After a while it can get tedious, fast.

When I was working in Japan during my Junior year in college, I logged everything down because I decided that I wanted to save a minimum of $2500 after covering cost of living.  I budgeted a set amount for food each week, roughly $80-100, and left a little for entertainment.  The rest went to my savings fund.  Living in Tokyo is expensive and spending only $80 a week on food is pretty impressive in my opinion.  It’s doable, but it requires cooking for yourself every day.

That summer was my most intense budgeting experience and it was extremely valuable in that it helped me achieve my savings goal.  However, my experience taught me that I needed a less time  consuming way to budget my expenses.  Since then I’ve found that the best way for me to budget is to set daily, weekly and monthly spending limits.

For example, my routine week involves visiting the bookstore about five times a week to write.  Usually when I go I spend about $2.00 on coffee or tea.  This can easily add up to $40-50 dollars a week.  The café workers always try to push me to spend more on a larger side, usually saying, “Don’t you want to treat yourself to a medium or a large?” They’re clever, I’ll give them that.  Since I’m on a budget, it’s easy for me to say, “no thanks.”

Some weeks I don’t buy coffee, which allows me to indulge on a pastry or a book perhaps.  But the key is to never go over budget. Going under is fine because you’ll just end up with a surplus, but going can lead to bad and terrible things.  Buying an extra coffee may not seem like such a big deal, but they can add up.

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1. Think Before You Act - This is an easy one.  It’s something that I used to hear all the time from my parents.  Things like: Don’t touch the oven it’s hot! Don’t touch the electric circuit, you’ll get electrocuted! Don’t walk into the street without looking both ways, or you’ll get hit by a car!  Parents tend to exaggerate negative outcomes in an effort to protect their children.  And yet most children, despite what their parents say, end up doing exactly what their parents warned them not to do.

A mystery?  Maybe.  But I think the more plausible reason is that children tend not to think before they act; kids are more impulsive than adults because their instincts are less honed.  That’s why kids are encouraged to make mistakes early on; the hope is that by the time they become adults, they’ll have learned their lesson and can make better choices and decisions.

In the same way, when it comes to practicing consistency, it’s important to think before you act.  When you wake up in the morning do you think about what you’re going to do or do you just operate on autopilot? Most people would probably say the latter holds true for them.  You wake up brush your teeth, take a shower, change, eat and then go to school or work.  Minutes turn to hours and before you know it the day’s over.  What happened to that new exercise plan you were going to start? Or what about calling up your friends to set up dinner plans after work?

Living consistently requires that we think before we act.  If we want to follow through with our plans consistently then it’s important to think about those plans before we commit our time to a task.  Living life on autopilot will never yield the kind of consistency that you get from thoughtful action.

2. Say No To Compromise - There’s nothing wrong with compromise.  Everyone needs to compromise with some things in life whether it be with a loved one, a boss or friend.  However, excessive compromise can actually be self-defeating especially when it comes to practicing consistency.  For example, if you make a promise to yourself that you’re going to spend an hour every day to study for a test (LSAT, GMAT, MCAT, SAT etc.) you shouldn’t compromise that time under any circumstances because once you do, you’ll have lost any momentum you had going into it.  One, “I can study later, it’s only a quiz,” leads to “I’ll study tomorrow, it’s only a test,” which can lead to “It’s okay if I fail the final, I’ll still pass.”  The road to excessive compromise is a road to diminishing returns.

When it comes to studying, consistency is essential.  That’s why teachers and professors always say 15-20 minutes a day is better than a 10 hour cram session the day before the final.  If a friend asks you to hang out, watch a movie, or play outside during your study time, you NEED to say no.

This is something I’ve noticed with my writing.  My routine is usually to leave the house around 10am and go to my local book store and write for about five to six hours.  Today, I got side tracked by some bad news on Wall Street which resulted in me leaving my house an hour later than usual.  By the time I got to the store it was close to 11am.  That hour lost may not seem like much, but that was precious time for brainstorming and setting the pace and direction of my writing session.  Although it’s difficult to quantify the loss in productivity, I noticed that it took me longer to get into my writing groove than it usually does. That’s time gone forever.

3. Be a Monk Chant Your Goals - Chanting is a technique that is used to induce a trance-like state, which helps the mind achieve a greater level of concentration and focus.  It’s used in a number of religious traditions including Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, and Islam.  Chanting is a technique that I’ve found to be extremely helpful in practicing consistency especially when it comes to focusing on specific goals.

When I was in grade school I used to chant my times tables and vocabulary words.  I even took it as far as creating a whole cardiovascular workout that involved me running and jumping while I chanted “nine times nine - eighty one, nine times ten - ninety.” Though it may seem silly and embarrassing, it certainly paid off in the end. (I did pretty well on my SATs and never had much trouble with Math)

Lately I’ve been testing this strategy out with my writing. I first list the scenes in my script that I want to write for the day and then I begin saying the scenario out loud.  With each pass my script gets longer and more complex.  This method works exceptionally well for extroverts like myself who need to hear their thoughts for them to really solidify in our minds.

Try this with the short term and long term goals you’ve written down.  If you repeat these a few times in the morning and a few times in the evening, before long, you’ll have them ingrained in your memory.  Once locked in, they’ll be able to withstand any turbulence that may come your way.

4.  Limit Your Possibilities - The more options you have the less focused you are.  There’s no really way around it; the two are opposing forces.  When you have ten things to choose from it’s easy to just flip between them and never buckle down and pick one.  This type of behavior is apparent in college students who switch majors, professionals who jump careers, and investors who “trade” stocks.

Practicing consistency requires focusing your attention on a few tasks and seeing them to completion.  It’s better to have completed one task then to have ten half finished.  Would you rather be known for having achieved one thing in life, like being an famous painter, or a world renowned businessman or would you rather be known as a mediocre painter, businessman, parent, spouse etc.  You can’t be good at everything.  Pick a few things and be consistent with them.

Consistency is all about focus, limit your choices and focus will come naturally.

While it’s easy to say, this is something that I’ve found extremely difficult to follow in my own life.  I tend to have more ideas and thoughts than I should on any given day and it’s easy for me to spend my day thinking about possibilities rather than focusing on what I need to get done.  The challenge is to limit possibilities and close doors. I touched upon this point in my article a few months back, Don’t Put Your Feet in Two Boats , take a look if you haven’t read it.

5. Seek Accountability - When trying to break a bad habit or develop a new one, it’s tempting to follow the I-can-do-it-myself approach.  Although it leaves your pride intact, it’s usually not effective. Trying to do things on your own, whether it be to break a bad addictive habit or embarking on a new career, is tough without the proper support.  That’s why there are support groups for pretty much everything (watch Fight Club in case your skeptical).

Having people to keep you accountable is a great strategy for practicing consistency.  When the only person you have to answer to is yourself, it’s easy to shirk responsibility, but when you have the expectations of others on your conscience, it’s much harder.  Take for example, the typical work environment.  When your boss or supervisor expects you to get something done, you get it done because you don’t want to disappoint them and risk losing your job.  The expectation of another person is a powerful motivator.

Accountability is powerful. Use it.

Practicing consistency is a life long challenge, but it’s a muscle like most other skills. The more you do it the better you get at it.  So start small and build up.  Write down your goals, chant them out loud, get yourself a support group and , before you know it, you’ll be on your way to better and more consistent living.

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Here are three reasons for practicing consistent actions:

1. Practicing Consistent Action Leads to Better Results -

If you try to do less, you’ll be more successful in the few things you do.  I promise.  Being an overachiever for most of my younger years, I always bit off more than I could feasibly chew.  I took more advanced classes, participated in more activities and tried out more majors than any right minded student should.  As a result I always felt like I was being pulled too thin and had trouble realizing the level of achievement that I was hoping for.

Diversifying your interests or actions is like diversifying your stocks, it sets a limit on maximum gain.  In the same way Warren Buffet warns against over diversification of a stock portfolio because it dilutes the potential for long term gain, over diversifying one’s interests can have a similar effect.  The more things you do the less time you have for each of them. And the poorer your results with each task.  It’s like multitasking.  While multitasking seems like a good idea because you can get more done in less time, in reality you end up with lower quality work.

The problem with doing too much is that it almost inevitably leads to inconsistent action and poor results.  When you’re involved in ten different things, it’s hard to keep up with everything.  High school and college students who fall into this trap tend to be involved in a lot of clubs and activities throughout the semester, but suddenly stop showing up as finals draw near.  Usually these are the kids who overspent their time, doing more activities than they actually had time for.  This results in last minute cramming and usually lower test scores.

2. Practicing Consistent Action Leads to Fulfilled Promises -

Coming of age in the 21st Century, amidst the rise of high speed internet, WIFI, cellphones, Blackberries, and a host of other techno gadgets, people have come to accept flakiness as standard practice.  In today’s world it’s okay to say to a friend, five minutes before a meeting, “I’m sorry I don’t think I’m going to make it, I couldn’t get out of bed.”  It’s hard to imagine someone doing that a hundred or even fifty years ago.  But in today’s hyper connected world, it’s totally okay.

Being consistent with your word is something that not only helps create a good image of yourself, it helps you feel better from the inside out.  Have you ever made a promise to yourself only to realize that you made the same promise months or years ago? Every time you make a promise that you fail to fulfill, you destroy your own credibility to yourself and to others.  Follow through with your promises or don’t make them at all.  Before you say to yourself or a friend,  I’m going to do “X” really think about whether or not you can and will actually do “X”.  If not, don’t say it.  No promise is better than an unfulfilled one.

Practicing consistent action leads to fulfilled promises.  When you always do the things that you say, (i.e. practicing consistency in word and action) success will flock to you like old men to Baywatch reruns.  :) People like consistent people, and people want to work and reward consistent people, it’s that simple. That’s why most ideal candidates for job postings have to be able to demonstrate a history of “consistent” results.

3. Practicing Consistent Action Leads to Greater Potential -

Recently I read a great article in the NYT that was about the elusiveness of talent and how, scientifically speaking, there is little evidence to suggest that talented people like Tiger Woods and Yo-Yo Ma are solely the product of genetic boon.  The article, the title of which I cannot seem to remember, made the point that successful people tend to exhibit certain behavioral qualities that unsuccessful people do not.  Can you guess what it is?

You betcha.  The quality that exceptional talents exhibit is consistent action.  In sports and the arts, it’s usually called practicing, but the function is the same regardless of the field.  Consistent action leads to greater potential.  Tiger Woods has a ridiculous swing and can whip it out regardless of the pressure because he’s practiced it consistently throughout his life.  Of course the man’s got talent, but more importantly, he’s backed that talent up with a work ethic that drives him to practice his swing over and over again trying to achieve greater consistency with each attempt.

Consistent action leads to greater potential because when we act consistently we are building up not only our physical and mental skills, but also psychological strength. When we are psychologically strong, we are better equipped to believe in our own potential.  It’s easy to pick up an instrument and only after a few practice sessions, determine that you lack talent and give up altogether, than it is to stick it through for a year and discover your own potential.

Practicing consistent action leads to better results, greater potential and fulfilled promises and goals.  Though the going is tough, the end results more than make up for it.  In my next post, I’ll outline five tips that I’ve found helpful in developing consistency of action.

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